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Amelia, Worm AU [Complete]

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by TanaNari, Jan 10, 2015.

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  1. Nigel Burnelli Isaacs

    Nigel Burnelli Isaacs Not too sore, are you?

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    True, let's not be insulting towards morons, they might not take well being compared to Polokun. Which is also why I think you went a bit overboard Tananari,comparing the guy to Polokun was pretty harsh and uncalled for.
     
  2. Deathwings

    Deathwings Questionable French Guy

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    Oh wow, look at that, another little bitch demanding that the story be written the way HE want to, because obviously what HE wants take precedent over everything else. It's been a while since the last one.

    Seriously, get a clue.
     
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  3. aquinas

    aquinas I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Ugh. The "No True Scotsman" "Can't be bothered" School of debate. It really is like the morality debate thread.
     
  4. Malkara

    Malkara Getting out there.

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    It truely is very important for parahumans to (re)pay repairs for walls and dumpsters, I mean parahumans are rare, so fights wherein those are damaged are rare too right? I mean there probably isn't a "parahuman damages" clause in any insurance, right?

    It would take a true villain not to take note of every single random item you damage to make sure to repay said damage, a true villain indeed.
     
  5. the DragonBard

    the DragonBard Creator of Worlds

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    And Hebert means Bright/Famous Army.

    Kind of fitting for Taylor, don't you think?
     
  6. pheonix89

    pheonix89 Wanna be game dev

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    Well, seeing as Pantheon has kind of been rebuilding Brockton Bay better than new, they've already got that covered.
     
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  7. Snake/Eater

    Snake/Eater Myth Maker of the North

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    Dallon in Gaelic means blind.
     
  8. TanaNari

    TanaNari Verified Dick

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    Eh, she wasn't visible (in the 'just around the doorway' sense, not the 'my sisters in her bedroom with her girlfriend... I'mma spy on them' sense). Just because Amelia didn't see her doesn't mean she wasn't there.

    No. I said I understood that he might have missed something. I said he was really slow on the uptake if it took him this long to point that out. Which was a probably-too-subtle way to point out how he was nothing but praise for the story until the last chapter.

    That was his comment from the chapter right before this most recent one. Such a sudden turnabout in opinion is *usually* reactionary when a reader decides they don't like a new development, but doesn't want to admit it's the new development that they don't like.

    But I might be reading too deep into this. I've been known to do that. Either way, praising the story and then alluva sudden deciding that something covered a hundred and fifty chapters ago doesn't sit well? THAT is slow on the uptake by any possible definition.

    But I like conflict.

    Also... why do people keep assuming I can't be calm and a dick at the same time? I'm really quite good at it. It's, like, one of my defining characteristics.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2015
  9. GiftofLove

    GiftofLove A Gift From The Heart

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    Because it's a level of dickishness that borders on transcendent. People would rather think that you're emotional than some kind off asshole robot.

    In all seriousness it's probably because of the harsh language you use, and that it only seems to come out when someone appears to question your work. You come across as indignant, and being too direct or blunt with your words can lead people to think that you are angry.
     
  10. WizardTwo

    WizardTwo Not too sore, are you?

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    This is QQ. The idea of transcendent dicks and asshole robots will undoubtedly have someone screaming 'That is my fetish!'

    I think you underestimate us.
     
  11. skychan

    skychan Know what you're doing yet?

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    Just a small note about insurance.

    Yes premiums might rise, but companies would have to show cause, in that damage by parahuman's is likely to lead to further damage by parahuamns or the consumer can generally get such a rate hike overturned. And yes, with auto companies they have shown that there is correlation between claims and future claims.

    These things are in fact covered by insurance already, shocking, but true.

    I grant not everyone in the hotel will own a home, however homeowners insurance does in fact cover your belongings in these cases, shocking but true.
     
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  12. Snake/Eater

    Snake/Eater Myth Maker of the North

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    i think no one has made an trailer omake,If only i could write like a normal person i would make it a homage to the borderlands 2 opening
    here are are some names like in the names that i thought of
    Missy is the Geometry Veteran
    Zach is the Prince of the universe
    Theo is the Fullmetal Sentinel
    Arianna is the Rebel Anomaly
    Amelia is THE BOSS
    Taylor is the Insect Disaster warrior (i have no clue what to call her)
    Riley is the Mad combat medic
    Clarice is the Mushroom Princess
    Sabah is the Fashion Rogue
    Lily is the Unstoppable Shooter (i feel like it could be better)
    Lisa is the Intel Queen
    Rey is the Wacky Doctor
    Trevor is the Only Sane Tinker
    Vicky is the Fighting Wildcard
    Crystal is The Heart of Pantheon
    Emma is the Scrappy Engineer(needs something better).
    i would make it a funny battle scene with very descriptive explosions and gunfire.but i have no clue what song would be great with it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2015
  13. Beyogi

    Beyogi I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Truth to be told I got the impression that Tanari can't stand criticism at all. After the reactions we got over the character perspective switch issue I think that became very clear.

    Basically you can praise stuff, you can discuss stuff, but if you dare to criticise stuff you get dicked at. I guess it's a good way to avoid cricism, because nobody is going to bother after the first ten times it happened or so, but on the other hand you won't get any criticism at all. I certainly won't bother pointing out stuff I may or may not find, if I already now the reaction will be "fuck you and the horse you rode in on".
     
  14. Snake/Eater

    Snake/Eater Myth Maker of the North

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    learning to tolerate criticism is never easy.
     
  15. daimahou

    daimahou Gentleman Tentacle(s)

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    IMO, Tananari can accept criticism, likes to argue about it even - while being a dick about it, mind you - but if he feels like there were enough hints about things then "fuck you and the horse you rode in on".
     
  16. dasstan

    dasstan :)

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    Well, calm dicks are usually limp noodles, and you usually go hard. Really get in there and stir things up, you know?
    TanaNari has shown time and again that he can take valid literary criticism just fine. It's the wishy-washy non-constructive criticism that is met with dickishness.

    That's why I usually only point out typos when I see them, or point out a perceived idiot ball. And when I do the latter, I usually phrase it as a question, since it's possible that the author is doing it intentionally. I don't really feel qualified to give the kind of input on mechanics that TanaNari is looking for, so.
     
  17. TanaNari

    TanaNari Verified Dick

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    Correction: I LOVE criticism.

    That right there. That is criticism. And it is a jewel to be treasured by any creator of anything. I've had a few good critics come by in this story- very precious few- and I have taken their advice and chewed it over thoroughly. Sometimes I've disagreed, and I've discussed my opinion of why I think their analysis is wrong, but that's what discussion and dialogue is all about.

    Sometimes those critics have answered my points with other points and have persuaded me over to their way of thinking, as was the case with the perspective structure. Sometimes they have not. And once someone called my story "all over the place" and I said that THAT was a goal of mine (and upon saying that, I first used the word "schizophrenic" to describe the random tone and attention shifts this story has in it, a word I continue to use to describe this story). So I both agreed and kept doing it.

    In all cases life went on. But I have ALWAYS valued their contributions.



    What I despise is people complaining. That contributes nothing.

    I have had a LOT of complainers come by- and them I am a dick to, because they're just a waste of time and space. I could, and probably should, ignore them, but that's not really my personality. Instead, I amuse myself by being a dick to them.

    ... Hey, never claimed I was a good *person*, just that I respect criticism.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2015
  18. Navrin

    Navrin Experienced.

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    One, why are you assuming I'm male? Two, why in the world do you think that my later comment was a criticism? It was an inquiry to figure out where they stood on an issue. I was fairly explicit later on that I thought it would be completely reasonable for them to NOT put in the effort to make restitution for every person they had harmed.

    Of course, after that, I was criticizing your idea of answering questions of "did this happen" with "it's answered in the text, you idiot" then "it's between the lines, moron" and "it's in there somewhere, definitely, if you don't interpret it the way I intended it's clear you're a complete moron" and various other extremely unhelpful responses before finally answering the initial question with "yes, they do, and yes they are, with a few exceptions."
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2015
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  19. TanaNari

    TanaNari Verified Dick

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    Who said I was? English language structure defaults to using male pronouns for an unknown gendered individual. Kinda like it defaults to feminine pronouns for boats and vehicles. Spanish is the same way. I was wording good.

    Correction: I pointed out that you were a little late to the party with that comment. THEN you started complaining when you didn't like my answer.

    And you never once provided any criticism (at least not recently). Some complaining, yes. But never any criticism.
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2015
  20. dasstan

    dasstan :)

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    You know what this fic needs? Clarice making mushroom stamps and Zach having to explain why she shouldn't.
     
  21. evildice

    evildice (emotionally stable clown posse)

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    Riley: "What's the big deal?"

    Riley's computer: http://www.fauna-stamps.com/en/stamp-guides/mushroom-stamps

    Zach: "Oh right, you keep safe search active."

    Riley: "Well duh. I don't want to see all the bad words on the internet."

    Zach: "I need to figure out how to inform the world that we're changing its slang to avoid offending someone who might end it in retaliation."
     
  22. Leonidas333

    Leonidas333 Well-Known Murderhobo

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    I just caught up with this series, and I have to say, I absolutely adore it.Thank you so much for making this TanaNari
     
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  23. dasstan

    dasstan :)

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    Zach: *explains*
    Riley:
     
  24. Divabot

    Divabot KILL ALL THE HUMANS

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    Oh good, I get to post it on a third board.

    The Morality Thread is a virus from outer space. This virus is public health problem number one of the world today. I have seen the exact manner in which the Morality Thread virus operates through fifteen years of addiction. The entire organism changes color and consistency in split-second adjustments, changing its form to disguse itself. The Morality Thread merchant doesn't sell his product to the consumer, he sells the consumer to his product. Eventual result of Morality Thread use — especially true of SpaceBattles addiction where large doses are available to the addict — is permanent backbrain depression and a state much like terminal schizophrenia. With more dakka.
    Wildbow S. Burroughs, The Naked Lunch Shard

    I was horrified to reread Interlude 19.y and realise that the Morality Thread happened in canon as well.
     
  25. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    I had to look it up. I regret that decision.
     
  26. Divabot

    Divabot KILL ALL THE HUMANS

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    I find it helps to assume most such definitions are made-up UD performance art. WHETHER IT'S TRUE OR NOT
     
  27. Threadmarks: Amelia, Ch 214
    TanaNari

    TanaNari Verified Dick

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    Amelia, Ch 214


    "That sounds so boring," Vicky argued. "You have all this cool stuff. You should use it mercilessly." I paused to listen, it wasn't like I had much else to do right now. Taylor was off with her dad again. I probably could have went with, but it didn't seem right cutting into their family time like that. Despite the public identity, Taylor liked to keep her father away from her cape life, and vice versa.


    "But that's not how it's done!" Riley whined. "It has to be normal or it's not fun!"


    "Never thought I'd hear you say something like that," Zach spoke up. "Oww. Riley, please stop teaching people how to not set off my rejuvenation power. It's lost its charm."


    "She has a point," Missy replied, completely ignoring Zach's comment. "All the cool toys just get in the way. It needs to be the traditional way. Especially since this is Riley's first time." The fuck are they talking about?


    "Really? That's awful," Theo spoke up. "Okay, normal way it is. Missy, you need to change. Vicky, you too."


    "No I don't," Vicky insisted. "You can do what you want, but I make this look way too good to give it up. Just check out these curves."


    "Yes ma-oww!" Zach exclaimed.


    "Emma," Theo continued. "You can find something to put on. Sorry."


    Okay, now I have to know. I finally walked into the group area. Riley was closest, wearing a headband with two red puffballs held up cheap aluminum stems. Vicky was dressed up in a very realistic copy of Alexandria's costume, though without the helmet. She'd even turned her hair black.


    Missy was dressed up as a knight, although the outfit looked far too realistic to be any kind of store bought costume. I saw Zach and just sighed. "Zach... why are you dressed up like a princess?"


    "What?" he put his hand on his hip in a complete mockery of feminine grace. "Oh, I see how it is. Missy gets to anachronistically cross dress and you're not asking her any questions. But when a maaaan does it, suddenly it's wrong."


    "I wanted Theo to wear it, but he chickened out," Missy complained.


    "He doesn't have the hips to pull it off anyway," Emma teased, putting her arm around Zach. "But now I don't have a costume. Do you know how hard it was to get a dragon costume to go with the theme? From Dragon, no less."


    "You're suppose to be giving her armor a biotech interface upgrade," I pointed out. "Not wearing it to go trick or treating."


    "Well, it needs field testing," Emma argued.


    "Where's Eric?" I asked.


    "Oh, apparently he's too old for trick or treating," Vicky informed us. "He's at a party with Crystal, Sabah and Lily. I'll probably swing by later, after the bartender gets too bored to check for ID. It'll be just like old times."


    "Vicky," I replied dryly. "You do realize that regeneration means you're immune to alcohol, right?"


    "What?" she asked. "Seriously?"


    "Yup," I confirmed. "And pretty much every other drug, illegal or otherwise, that you can come across."


    "Well, fu-udge me then," she sighed. "No wonder Lung had anger issues. Can't get drunk, there's nothing left to punch, can't even take a cat nap. How is a girl suppose to relax around here?"


    "Speaking as someone in the same boat," Zach spoke up. "Whenever I need some good stress relief, I-"


    "Finish that sentence and you won't get any 'relief' for a month," Emma threatened darkly.


    Zach paused. "Babe, you know I love you, but if you threaten to take away my video games I will have to break up with you."


    Emma glanced around. It was Vicky who started laughing first, and then I followed. That was the permission that everyone else needed to join in.


    "Umm... I don't get it?" Riley spoke up. We just laughed harder. And then the alarms went off. Fuck.


    I pulled out my phone and my stomach dropped. "Endbringer," I stated. ConcernAnticipationFocus. "The prediction tech thinks it's Behemoth."


    "He pussed out last time," Zach replied. "I bet a fifty he does it again."


    "I'll bet you five grand that you won't keep the princess costume on during the fight," Vicky added. "And it doesn't count unless it's over the battle armor."


    "You're on!" Zach ran off, and everyone else started scrambling as well. We needed our costumes, the real ones this time. The others would arrive in their own time. Honestly, we probably didn't need to rush, we had almost thirty minutes of warning time before they could even narrow down the target location. Over an hour of total ready time. New Delhi, we had over four hours of warning, but that was a fluke brought on by the Simurgh for maximum devastation. Over four times the number of capes were there as was typical, and it resulted in the highest casualties of any Endbringer, or for that matter any anything, in history.


    I slipped into my standard costume, then opened the floor beneath me so I could drop into the labs. My Dryad was now officially the least advanced tech in the building, but it was still my battle harness. Riley had her Clarice controls on and was waiting for me. "Think I can take Clarice into the front lines this time?" she asked.


    "Didn't you just finish making the new one?" I asked.


    "Yeah," she admitted. "But she's extra powerful now. I think she's good enough to fight Behemoth."


    "Let Taylor handle that," I told her while fusing my armor to my Dryad and climbing in. DeterminationThrill. I smiled. The SEB upgraded Zerg were incredible, and my General was just aching for a chance to really use them. "You focus on saving lives and running analysis with the rest of our tinkers. You're our best hope for learning how they're made, and how to shut down their makers. That's more important."


    Emma was busy suiting up as well. Her armor was, well, I wasn't sure how it worked. But it could give her over an hour in her hybrid state, with all the data collection advantages which that entailed. My armor overheard her conversation. "Behemoth's core should be in its lower body, if our estimates are correct," she spoke. "Try to sever a leg if possible, we want the densest EB tissue we can acquire for our tests and future weapon development. Atropos already knows. Sorry I couldn't get the majority of the tech completed. No, thank you. We're about to jump over, see you at the fight."


    Who was she talking to? I was about to ask her when I was interrupted when Crystal appeared in the middle of the lab, followed a minute or so later by Eric, Lily and Sabah. "Sorry it took so long," he apologized. "Took a bit of effort to sneak out of the party."


    "Our reputations are ruined forever," Lily complained.


    "I'm sorry!" he insisted. "I panicked. It was the first thing I could think of..."


    "Telling my classmate we were going off for a threesome was the first thing you could think of?" Lily growled.


    "It worked, didn't it?" he defended. "Did you have a better idea?"


    "How about anything?" she suggested. "Anything at all would have been a better idea. You're lucky I don't turn you back into a girl the hard way."


    "Well, at least I didn't say it was going to be a threesome with me," he argued. "So you don't have to worry too much."


    Sabah just stood there looking embarrassed.


    "Get in your costumes," I instructed. "You can vent your frustrations on Behemoth."


    Lily moved toward her armor, giving Eric one last glance. Sabah followed suit, and Eric started putting on his own suit. It was one of the generic outfits. The teams hadn't had a chance to really optimize his power, except to provide tinker bombs to teleport to the Endbringers. He'd mostly be watching from a safe location and rescuing the injured and teleporting the occasional Zerg into combat range for Taylor.


    We started shunting over. The mobile command center was already waiting, flanked by over a thousand zerglings and a hundred gargants. Most were the old fashioned variants, but we had plenty of the SEB upgraded versions, shimmering an unnaturally flawless white in the afternoon sun.


    "Rey called in," Trevor informed us from the command center. "He'll be catching a ride with Rapture."


    We destroyed the Simurgh with less than a quarter of these forces, I smiled. DeterminationCertainty. I looked over at Taylor who was only barely visible, but heading toward us fast. Today the hero killer would die.


    ============

    A/N- Yay Endbringers!

    ... Also, for anyone who can't figure out who Eric is? Let me preemptively call you a moron.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2015
  28. Cyclone

    Cyclone Disciple of Zor

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    It did throw me off very briefly, before I remembered Shielder is not only dead but still beyond Pantheon's current resurrection capabilities.
     
  29. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    Amelia...what's the first lesson about tempting fate? That's right: Don't.

    ...taking bets! Taking all bets! Will it be Europe that Burns this time? How about a chunk of Africa? Nothing important is in South America right?

    Personally? I'm putting my money on Mexico turning into a radioactive wasteland pretty soon.
     
  30. BlackBulletOfSeven

    BlackBulletOfSeven Making the rounds.

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    I honestly thought you were going to name him Arin, just to avoid confusion.
     
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