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Amelia, Worm AU [Complete]

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by TanaNari, Jan 10, 2015.

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  1. pepperjack

    pepperjack A Variety of Cheese

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    If the Protectorate can afford $50,000 dollars a year plus wages for their Wards, Kaiser's criminal organization can afford to pay $80,000 a year or so to its parahuman enforcers.
     
  2. Pirafir

    Pirafir Getting out there.

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    $100,000-$130,000, based on the numbers quoted. But even assuming they could afford it, I just think the primary incentives would be things other than money.
     
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  3. abyssmal_kismet

    abyssmal_kismet Experienced.

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    Short answer? Yes.

    Long answer? Compare Rune and Sabah. Both have telekinesis, and could pretend to be each other, if barely; weaving a whole new identity using telekinesis is more than possible. Lasers and forcefields, on the other hand, are distinctive. Different people's lasers are noted as looking differently, and I don't remember enough about forcefield users beyond Narwhal (a special case), but I wouldn't be surprised to learn the same thing. If Purity pretended to be someone else, for example, it wouldn't hold, and would be exceedingly obvious. Same with Legend, unless he can pull off non-visible-spectrum lasers for the same effects, which wouldn't surprise me.

    Notice that I don't mention flying. I honestly didn't think about it, but...I don't really think anyone has JUST flying as a superpower, so I don't really think it counts for using your powers and getting a new identity.

    Regardless of the ease of coming up with a new identity for other powers, long story short, telekinesis is easy to shape into a new identity. Now, after saying all that, I must mention that my SOD is firmly intact. It isn't all that surprising for Rune to be unimaginative enough not to come up with a new way to use telekinesis to distinguish herself from her old identity.
     
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  4. SirKaid

    SirKaid Know what you're doing yet?

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    Purity did exactly that. She and Crusader flipped to the Protectorate, got a rebranding, and are now working in Texas I think.

    I agree that Rune's power could probably be spoofed into looking different, especially if she had someone talented work over her costume to give her a different body type. I also agree that it isn't surprising that she didn't think of it like that - she's a teenager, after all, and many teens think they're special snowflakes who couldn't possibly be in any way generic.
     
  5. doomlord9

    doomlord9 Experienced.

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    In a more specific way of putting it, Purity wouldn't and can't get a change of cape identity that isn't blatantly obvious to anyone who cares to look with a 30 second google search. The whole shining flying star and firing brilliant helixing ribbons of destructive light aren't something you can hide with a color palette swap.

    Presumably this isn't so uncommon that generally people don't comment on it so long as they don't go back to their 'old ways' or use their old ID, which was the problem she has when she tried to split from E88 since she was still Purity but with the E88 logo cut off.
     
  6. ArisKatsaris

    ArisKatsaris Getting sticky.

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    Ugh, this comment slightly annoys me.
    a) 'Kayla', a name of Greek origin? I'm Greek, and I've never heard it. I can't imagine any actual Greek name it might derive from either. Now the Greek feminine word "kavla" is a lewd word for 'erection', and indirectly an even lewder word to describe women that give you erections, but I sure hope that's not the Greek word the name 'Kayla' supposedly derived from.
    b) Greece in the actual world is the country worldwide with the strongest nazi party as measured by percentage they receive in the parliamentary elections (6.7%, third biggest party in hte parliament). So any 'irony' in olive-skinned, dark haired Greeks, being nazis, it's an irony that applies to the real current-day world as well.
    c) Yes, Greeks are "typically" 'olive-skinned' and 'dark haired' (some exceptions like me exist), it's called the Mediterannean type. But you know who else was typically olive-skinned and dark-haired? The Italians. You do know what country 'fascism' originated in as a term, and what country was the main European ally of the Nazis in WW2? Italy. Even if Nazis had a preference for blondes, they hadn't actually started oppressing people for being "dark-haired" and "olive-skinned", even Hitler himself was dark-haired.
     
  7. The Unicorn

    The Unicorn Well worn.

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    Not surprising. The Etymology of the name is

    Hecate->Aikaterine->Katerina->Katherine->Kay->Kayla so the name is of greek origin in the same sense that all people originate from Africa.
    http://www.behindthename.com/name/kayla-1/tree
     
  8. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    http://planning.thebump.com/baby-names/kayla
    Kayla
    Origin: American
    Meaning: Beloved or Who is Like God?
    Kayla is a pioneer of the made-up name trend: sound + sound = name! (Though, if you really want meaning and history, it can be linked to the Irish surname Kayley or the Hebrew and Yiddish Kaila, which means “pure” and “laurel-crowned.”) The name shot up the charts in the ’80s, thanks to character Kayla Brady on Days of Our Lives. It peaked at number 12 in the ’90s and has been headed back down the charts since.
     
  9. dasstan

    dasstan :)

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    That's all pretty amusing, too.
     
  10. Threadmarks: Amelia, Ch 258- Missy
    TanaNari

    TanaNari Verified Dick

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    Amelia, Ch 258- Missy


    "C'mon, Mushroom, you're worse than Michelle," I yelled at Riley's door. "Don't tell me you're getting cold feet, now."


    Eventually the door opened, and my best friend was there wearing a really lovely dark blue dress. I surpressed a twinge of jealousy. She was roughly a year and a half younger than me and already looked older. A little bit taller, a little less baby fat around the face, about the same barely there curves. Genetics are so unfair, I should ask Amelia to tweak a few things for me. Of course, I wouldn't. I would chicken out trying to ask. On the plus side, the whole 'dying' thing now meant I was in incredible shape.


    "Are you sure you want me to come with?" she asked for what was probably the tenth time in the last couple of days. "I don't want to intrude on your time with Theo any more than I already do."


    I almost rolled my eyes. Riley was almost infuriatingly sweet sometimes. No wonder she liked Theo so much, he was the only person on any planet who could out-nice her and wasn't someone's grandma. "If I didn't want you to come with us, then I wouldn't have invited you," I pointed out. I probably would have ruffled her hair, but she had it painstakingly done up in a braid, and I didn't want to ruin it. "Now hurry up, I'm not having my birthday party without my best friend with me." I grabbed her hand and tugged her along.


    She hurried after, and I may have cheated a bit by collapsing distance for us at a few points. Theo was waiting for us near the exit. He was in an honest to goodness suit. It wasn't quite a tux, but I didn't know enough about men's wear to tell what was what. The one that didn't require a tie. Whatever it was called, it made him look even better than usual. And he was already a cutie.


    One of the advantages to Avalon was the really stable weather, so we could afford to wear lighter clothes than mid February would normally allow. Still, we carried our coats with us. Avalon didn't yet have much by way of a nightlife, so we'd be heading to Bet for this date. Theo spotted us approaching. He looked at me, then in surprise at Riley, then back at me. "Are you sure it's safe for her to be out, instead of using the Clarice doll?" he asked.


    Riley clenched my hand a little tighter. "Don't worry about that," I replied. "Look at her features, no one would recognize her. Dragon was even so kind as to help provide tips for beating recognition tech. If anyone even gets a little suspicious, well, her alter ego is a shapeshifter and my best friend. She just wanted to go out without being recognized. Simple as that."


    She smiled nervously. "If you're sure," she agreed.


    "Are you certain you don't want a real party?" Theo asked next. "I know people are a little down about..." he trailed off for a second. "But Zach would want us to enjoy ourselves. You don't have to feel guilty about it."


    "Zach's idea of us 'enjoying ourselves' would probably just involve the three of us," I rebuked. "Besides, you know how much I hate attention. It's fine in costume and stuff, I don't mind the whole Endslayer thing. In fact, it's badass as hell. But right now I'm Missy, and Missy would rather a nice quiet night out with her two favorite people. Now stop trying to talk your way out of paying for our date."


    Theo gave me a hug. "Okay, you win," he agreed. He gave me a peck on the lips. "Don't worry, I already have everything planned out." I gave a gesture with my eyes, and a minor tilt of my head toward Riley. He nodded slightly and broke our hug, moving over and hugging Riley.


    "But!" she protested, but she didn't exactly struggle, instead hugging Theo back. He gave her a peck on the cheek, and I could almost see her heart race. I had to admit, I was a little jealous, but it was so cute how happy she was. That took the possible hurt out of it, along with the knowledge that if I asked either of them, they'd call this whole thing off. Plus I was pleased to note that he got just a little bit closer when he hugged me. "It's Missy's birthday, you don't need to..."


    "Don't worry, he won't do it much," I replied. "Missy Byron and Theo Anders are known as a couple, and we want to avoid any stupid scandals. You're safe here, and only here. So that'll have to tide you over for the rest of the evening."


    "Oh," Riley replied, squeezing Theo tighter before letting go. "So what's the plan?" She asked him. "You'd better have a plan."


    "Well," he started. "She said she wanted quiet, so it looks like the standard dinner and a movie setup. Then we can come back here for some star gazing. It's amazing how beautiful the stars are on Avalon. Although the sunsets leave a lot to be desired."


    "It's because of the atmospheric pollution," Riley informed. "On Bet, at least. Aleph is even worse, they have a nearly eight percent greater amount of pollutants in their upper atmosphere. While Avalon has almost none at all."


    "Sucks to be them," I shrugged. "Think we should put that on our recruitment flyers? Best night sky on any Earth, bring your girlfriend."


    Theo chuckled a little. "Well, that's one way to encourage a population explosion."


    "Yeah, good luck with that plan, buddy," I smirked.


    "I didn't mean it like that!" Theo blushed. I only barely managed to not laugh. Poor boy is way too easy to tease.


    "I don't get it," Riley interjected.


    "Theo was just thinking like Zach for a minute there," I informed her. She glared threateningly at Theo, but failed to be intimidating in the least.


    "That was a dirty trick and you know it," he informed me, pretending to be upset.


    "Hells yeah," I agreed. "Now let's go before we miss the movie."


    "Well, it's not really a movie in this case," Theo admitted. "It's a play. Glass Menagerie."


    "You are such a geek," I teased him. Before I started dating Theo, I'd never been to an actual play before in my life. Now I'd been to a total of five. He had really refined tastes, when it came to things that Zach didn't goad him into trying. Personally, I didn't mind in the slightest as long as we avoided all the stuff written in Iambic Pentameter. It was nice being treated like a lady, like I was adult enough to appreciate art and culture. "At least tell me it's a nice theater."


    "Well, it's back in Brockton Bay," he answered.


    "So, no," I snarked. We both knew I was joking, of course.


    We used a pod to shunt across, nearly half a mile away from the portal. Right at the southern edge of Avalon's embassy territory. The temperature went from what felt like a nearly balmy mid 50s on Avalon, to only a few degrees above zero in a heartbeat. A limo was waiting for us already. Theo waited patiently while Riley and I hurried to climb into the vehicle before our legs froze solid. What sadistic jackass invented dresses, anyway?


    Theo took a moment to talk to the chauffeur while us girls situated ourselves, then got in. I wrapped my arm around Theo and leaned against him as we rode, sparing a glance over at Riley. She was religiously studying the back of the driver's seat. Okay, this must be more uncomfortable for her than I realized, I decided. Maybe it would have been better not to bring her along.


    I unwound from Theo, then bent space a little to hug Riley without making any sudden movement. She squeaked in surprise. "Hey, no zoning out over there," I insisted. "You're suppose to be the chatterbox of the group."


    "Are you sure?" she asked. "I don't want to mess anything up or make things weird."


    I did roll my eyes this time. "Riley, you are weird. That's what's great about you. Like the time you raced the varsity track team while doing a handstand. It doesn't get much weirder than that. Except all the other crazy stuff you come up with. Right, Theo?"


    "It's true," he agreed. "You can ask anyone. There are rumors that you're really an alien that was exiled to Earth for being too awesome. Although I'm not sure it counts because I'd bet money that Zach started it."


    "Still can't believe I lost," she pouted. "Never should have agreed to make it a relay race."


    "Well, yeah," I laughed. "Even Clarice gets tired eventually, and you made her run a whole mile on her hands. If it makes you feel any better, you only lost by a couple seconds."
    "One point eight five seconds," she corrected. "That's actually a lot in track."


    "Our team's one of the best in the state," Theo added. "You'd have beat almost anyone else. I talked to a few of the guys that raced you, and some of them still think you let them win. They were going on about how you didn't even seem tired, when all of them were sore for the next two days. They actually called off their Thursday practice so they could rest because of you."


    "It's not about being tired," Riley replied. "It's about how rapidly the limbs can move and efficient momentum. Clarice just wasn't built to move that way, any more than this car can drive sideways. Still, I thought I built her a little better than that."


    "There you have it," I concluded. "Now it's my birthday, so why aren't the two of you fawning over me? I demand fawning!"


    ==================


    A/N- You heard the lady. Fawn, already!

    Also. I managed to spell chauffeur correctly on the first try this time!
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2015
  11. Peanuckle

    Peanuckle Versed in the lewd.

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    [​IMG]
     
  12. Snake/Eater

    Snake/Eater Myth Maker of the North

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    funny fact,deers chew off the legs of baby birds and eat mice in the wild because they need the extra calcium.
     
  13. Gear

    Gear Who threw that wrench!?

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    Nature: Reminding me why I live in a house and get my food from a grocery store.
     
  14. Winchester

    Winchester Buzzkill

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    That belongs firmly in the category of "things I didn't know I never wanted to find out". UNthankyou for letting me know.

    Edit: Finished like-bombing the first three pages of the thread, which puts Tananari above 20k likes. Which, by the way, is four times as many as Ack, who has twice as many posts. Timing is everything, apparently...
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2015
  15. TanaNari

    TanaNari Verified Dick

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    Huh. I was expecting it to be my next update that hit 20k. *shrugs*

    Oh well, awesome for me.

    But I try not to pay too much attention to the 'likes' count. Reader feedback is what really matters. The more posts, the more suggestions, the more questions, the more criticism (oh, and in case anyone is still stupid enough to not know this- complaining is not criticism), the happier I am. I'd rather get five likes and a hundred (remotely respectable) commenters than a hundred likes and five commenters.

    So, in that regard, I'm jealous of a lot of the other writers on this and various other sites. I'd love to have the kind of dialogue that they get.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2015
  16. cosoco

    cosoco Not too sore, are you?

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    Also, who is Michelle?
     
  17. doomlord9

    doomlord9 Experienced.

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    Ack did lose about 3k likes when the forum software was switched over to xenforo. The old method was completely incompatible with XF so it was a clean wipe of likes but not post count. I have only just gotten my ratio back into the positive when I would have been at nearly 2 or 3 to 1 by now.

    Also porting over a story with over 80 chapters at the time and already had an enormous fanbase helps alot.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2015
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  18. pepperjack

    pepperjack A Variety of Cheese

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    Eh, it depends on which numbers. I was going off of the $250,ooo that was said first; I can't actually remember whether the antecedence was clear and can't be arsed to go back and check.

    Now at that, I am impressed.
     
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  19. TanaNari

    TanaNari Verified Dick

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    Throwaway name, basically. Because Missy knows people who aren't part of the main cast, and will almost certainly never show in the story.
     
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  20. Beyogi

    Beyogi I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    You mean you're already a big enough dick, you don't also need to show it off? :p

    It's sometimes pretty hard to guess where this goes. You're not very obvious with your checkovs guns, which makes actual predictions of what is going to happen pretty hard. I mean sometimes you can guess, but usually you don't give the readers enough information in an obvious enough way for us to guess where things will be going.
    On one hand that has the advantage that we likely won't predict the plot of the next 10 chapters, on the other hand it has the disadvantage that we don't have a lot of stuff to discuss.

    And slice of life chapters usually get reactions somewhere between "Daaw" and "God why are they so stupid?".
    Basically like this chapter. Plot-wise this seemed pretty irrelevant. Nice slice of life/fluff, but not much else. It's not like there's a lot to say about kiddy romance.
     
  21. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    Hmm...it has been a while since I offered constructive criticism, hasn't it?

    Okay, let's see. I honestly like where this story has been going, with few reservations. I enjoyed the fact that you broke up the 'Endbringers attack' monotony, which was beginning to get a little repetitive, sadly. The fact that you had Pantheon suffer such a dramatic and public defeat is surprising, but the fact that they have resurrection tech makes it as much of a non-issue as 'dying' could be. Killing off most of your main cast is an interesting plot twist that has promised and delivered plenty of drama. I don't really enjoy the fact that Zach is pseudo-dead right now, but I understand the need to prove a character's mortality. Hopefully he'll return soon...and get that threesome eventually.

    On the political front, I really, really enjoy seeing what you're doing with Avalon after the long build up. As far as I'm concerned, governing Avalon and building it into a super-power could be the whole of the fic. Most people probably wouldn't like to see that thread followed exclusively, though, and I think you've done a good job of balancing the larger-scale political drama and the interpersonal drama of the individual characters.

    Mu is still a tantalizing possibility that hanging around and leaving me wondering what Pantheon's secreting away. I wonder if Accord's powers could be applied to weapon development? Isn't that a frightening thought...

    Riley/Missy/Theo is utterly adorable so far, and promises to be moreso. I'm wondering what happens when someone eventually puts the pieces together about Vista and Horus dating...and/or being a 'couple' with Aceso. That fallout would be interesting to see.

    Emma continues to be strangely sympathetic and likeable...<sigh>

    The plot twists I'm most looking forward coming to fruition are Contessa's 'conversation' with Saint, Dragon's coming out (or being outed) as an AI, and...

    Hey...was Missy ever appraised of the whole 'Armsmaster is Defiant' thing or does she still think he's dead? Speaking of thread's of plots past...Grue is still around, isn't he?

    Possibly the only thing I'd like to see that you haven't touched on would be Sophia. An interlude from her PoV in juvie would be interesting...and full of either cursing or waxing poetic at the irony of the universe...or both? Maybe have Sophia...who probably never rated a very secure lockup anyway, get broken out by Grue, looking for some muscle and thinking it'd be pretty funny to have Sophia join up with him?

    Damn...that's a lot of plots, and I know I didn't cover all of them. Phew, TanaNari, you're a busy duck to be keeping track of all of these...

    Really enjoying the story, by the way, if I haven't said so in a while.
     
  22. Dreadis

    Dreadis No idea whats going on

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    Missing a word here I think
     
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  23. abyssmal_kismet

    abyssmal_kismet Experienced.

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    Having been in the exact situation Riley is in minus the birthday, I must say that this is going to continue being awkward for her for quite a while.
     
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  24. kenhikaru

    kenhikaru Not too sore, are you?

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    Emma is surprisingly easy to like as long as the author handles her properly. Turning her and making her realize what a bitch she's been goes a long way. The other half is finding a way for Taylor to forgive her (or rather, for her to earn Taylor's forgiveness/get Taylor to be willing to move on).
    What I am kind of curious about though is why Lisa hasn't told Taylor that her reasons for not getting the mental change to find Amelia attractive are wrong. Unless it's already been covered and I missed it, in which case, my bad.
     
  25. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    To have Taylia or not have Taylia, that is the question!

    Lisa's discovered or come to the conclusion that there is no win condition for this scenario. Either Taylia does whatever it's going to do to Taylor and Amelia or Lisa succeeds in convincing them it's a bad thing and they turn it off.

    If they turn Taylia off, Taylor turns back into Skitter and Amelia turns back into Amy. They're co-dependent as fuck on each other to the point that Taylor turned suicidal after Taylia was turned off. Amy wasn't much better.

    I think Lisa's just decided to run what damage control she can and let whatever's going to happen, happen.
     
  26. Destrark

    Destrark The Ebon Dragon. On vacation from Malfeas.

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    Bet Missy would never have believed that she'd be dating Bonesaw and Kaiser's son a year before this story.
     
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  27. dasstan

    dasstan :)

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    Bet Missy would never have believed that Dean would be dead, either.
     
  28. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    This will become relevant once TanaNari starts his...

    INVASION OF THE RETRO-CLONES ARC!

    Basically, the idea is that one of the Endbringers has the power to flash-clone people from the past as clones to create chaos in society.

    After all, PHO has several VS debates that need answering and we can't leave them hanging, can we?
     
  29. J_Killcrazy

    J_Killcrazy Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    Ack's fics are better.His stories flow more logically. Despite the frequent updates, Amelia seems disjointed and all over the place. It started great but gets bogged down in too many digressions and too many plot threads.

    I don't know if this counts as constructive criticism but since TanaNari is such a dick I won't worry.
     
  30. cosoco

    cosoco Not too sore, are you?

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    Bonesaw and Kaiser had a son? I don't remember that.
    That's definitely true, but that's also caused by the the fact that very little happens in them.
     
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