Being SI is Suffering [Worm, Broke CYOA, Fake-SI]

Chapter Fourteen: Super Secret Organizations Need Super Ominous Names

The stage was set. Everything was ready. It was time to debut myself to the world, and get started on the path to kicking Scion's ass and saving the human race.

The first step to said path is giving my totally awesome super secret organization a name. A name that was worthy of the grand goal I had set for it. A name that would inspire those serving beneath me, as well as strike dread into the hearts of my enemies.

I'm kinda a little pissed that I wasted six hours trying to come up with the name last night though. Seriously, me and Reeves pulled an all-nighter hashing things out, trying to find the perfect name for this grand company. I was a bit surprised how hard it was to come up with a cool, original name that wasn't taken by the hundreds of cape organizations around the world. The Elite, Haven, Pan Umbra; hell, even Cobra was taken by a small villain group in Canada.

We finally settled on a name when I realized something: I was in a totally different universe, so names that were used by fictional super villains in my world were fair game. Hell, I was wearing a knock-off of Cobra Commander's outfit (though an expensive one) so I might as well run with it. It's not like the companies who owned the mother fucking licenses could sue me, right?

So with name decided upon I left to get some rest, leaving Reeves to handle all the boring left-over crap that I didn't want to bother with. He seemed a bit perturbed that he only had less than ten hours to scramble together a fabulous organizational function where we would announce the name to everyone. Oh well, that's why I pay him the big bucks.

Before I went to bed, I made sure to collapse all of my extra universes. Previously, I had been in the habit of keeping several dozen timelines running at the same time. Usually, I kept them around so that I could goof off and relax while my "main" timelines took care of the business. I figured they'd also be useful just in case one of the psycho douchebags of the Wormverse came after me; if I got killed, well, it wouldn't matter too much since I had other timelines available where I was safe.

The problem is that having so many universes active with so many me's in them... well, it made keeping track of which me was which very, very difficult. Memories from one timeline tended to bleed into the others, so while I may think I had done something in one reality, in truth I had actually completed that task in a completely different timeline. For instance, yesterday I had asked Reeves to write up a list of capes in the city who would be a good fit for our organization to recruit. Well, several hours had passed and I still hadn't received the report. When I asked Reeves about it, the little dude had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. It turned out that I had asked him to compile the report in a completely different timeline, one that I had collapsed an hour before. So as handy as having several hundred realities running at once was, it also had its drawbacks. I decided to limit my splits to around a dozen universes; it was easier to keep track of that way and would still give me some leeway to fall back on in case of emergencies.

Man, being a God was tough. I should send one of those me's on a vacation to fucking Aruba or something. Gotta relieve this stress somehow, and pulling my pud just wasn't cutting it.

Anyway, before I knew it, the moment of truth had arrived. The gathering had been announced to begin at 8:00 PM, and everyone in my organization who wasn't on duty was forced to attend. (Heh, being the boss is awesome, you can force people to attend your boring-ass meetings. Only my meetings wouldn't be boring, they'd be awesome!) Reeves had organized the event to take place in the base's main garage, which was the only room large enough to fit all 200+ personnel working for me. All of said personnel stood in the center of the spacious garage, where a small temporary stage had been erected.

My employees consisted mostly of Major's Steel's highly trained mercenaries, all of them looking quite grim and professional in their black tactical gear. The rest of the regular employees consisted of medical personnel and administration, the latter of which were dressed in the usual corporate uniforms of bland suits and ties while the former wore a more relaxed set of blue scrubs and lab coats. Reeves and Lacey Stalson stood with the suits while the newly hired Mr. Pitter was clad in medical scrubs.

The final members of my operation were the VIP members and stood front and center near the stage. They were, of course, the parahumans. The Undersiders stood together which was understandable since they had been a closely knit team for the last few months. Tattletale, as my point of contact to the group, stood up front while Grue and Regent stood behind her. Bitch was a no show, which was kind of a bummer, but hey, I get it. This sort of thing ain't her scene, I understood. She'd miss a hell of a night though.

The other set of capes in my organization stood separate from the Undersiders and consisted of Bakuda, Crabbe and Goyle. My two personal bodyguards stood behind the female Tinker, who was front and center and looking pretty fabulous. She had definitely been working on her costume, as she now wore a form fitting black and yellow bodysuit made of some type of weird, shiny mesh that was most likely Tinkertech in nature. Her mask and goggles had also been updated, both sets of equipment looking more sleek and advanced than her previous gear. The lenses of her goggles also glowed with an eerie, sinister scarlet light, one that definitely gave the young woman a more formidable aspect.

With everyone gathered and ready, I made my entrance. The quiet conversations that had been taking place between the various groups quickly quieted when my thin, lithe form marched across the garage, making my way towards the stage. My boots made a steady clomp for each step I took across the hard concrete floor, the sound accompanied by a quiet clank as the sword fastened on my belt clattered against my thigh. I took my time reaching the stage, taking care to build up my audience's anticipation as well as swell their curiosity. So far the vast majority of the people in the garage knew nothing of why this gathering had been called. That's how you bait 'em though: give them enough info to peak their interest, but keep 'em hanging until you're ready to give them what you want to give them.

It was kinda like cock teasing, if you thought about it. Huh. No wonder those bitches in high school always did pulled that shit; if teasing horny guys was half as fun as what I was doing now, then I would've probably done it, too, back in the day!

Upon ascending the stage, I stopped, then turned to survey my audience. It was glorious. Two hundred and something people all there, captive to my whims. I could just stand here for two hours and they'd be forced to stay and watch, such was the power I wielded over them. I had four timelines running along with this one, and I was seriously tempted to fuck around with the audience, like tell dirty jokes or start stripping off my clothes, just to see their reactions. I held back though, cuz this shit be serious. It was tempting, though. Very, very tempting.

"Ladis and gentlemen," I said, the mic and speakers within my helmet amplifying my voice across the garage's space. "Thank you for coming. I know all of you are very busy and that you have various duties to perform, so I shall make this quick."

I paused and made a show of looking around at the assembled mass of my employees. This was a usual trick that scummy politicians used, since it looked like the speaker was looking at their audience eye-to-eye even though they really weren't. Thankfully with my reflective mask, such an illusion was even more effective since no one could tell where my eyes actually were. (They were, btw, mostly staring at the female members' chests.)

"Many of you have worked for me for a long time," I continued. "Some of you have even been with me for years. I thank you for your loyal service, and assure you that your hard work has not been for naught. Due to your diligence, our humble organization has grown. Look around you. Look around you, to the men and women who stand beside you. With you." Yep, basic "we are one" kumbaya bullcrap that people always seemed to eat up.

"Look to them now, for they are the backbone of our organization, as you are. Together we have grown, together we are strong. For years we have stayed in the shadows, building our strength and growing our forces. Well, the time to remain in the shadows, hidden from view, is over. Tonight is the night we strike." I raised my right hand and clenched my fist upon speaking the last word, to add emphasis and proper gravitas to my awesome speech.

"The world will now see us for what we are. The world will look upon our might and tremble. Gathered here, within this room, is but a small part of a larger whole." It was all bullshit, of course. All these people were pretty much the sum total of Coil's organization. But if they thought we were bigger than we actually are, it'll make them feel more important and if there's one thing I learned, it's that feeling important makes people work harder.

"Thus, tonight, let us show the world who and what we are. Let them know our name. Let them hear it, let them fear it. For it will be a name that they will never forget."

Upon my nod, Reeves pressed an icon that was on his tablet. This sent out a signal that activated a switch that was fastened to several rolled up banners that had been bolted up against the walls of the garage. Upon hearing the signal, the bolts within the locks opened, causing the banners to unfurl.

Each banner was made of thick black cloth, and upon its center was the same red stylized cobra that was upon my helmet. But slithering from the cobra head were numerous red tentacles, each reaching outwards, seeking to grasp at anything they could.

Spoiler

​

"Ladies and gentlemen," I told them, my voice deep and tingling with excitement. "Welcome to Hydra."

Yeah, fuck Marvel, too.

 

INTERLUDE: Blond Smug Machine 3

"Well, that was something."

All the members of the Undersiders nodded their heads at Brian's astute observation. The three of them had just returned to the safe house after attending Hydra's debut gathering. The house was dark and quiet when they got in, with the door to Bitch's room closed which meant that she was either asleep or out with her dogs somewhere; nobody was that curious (or suicidal) to find out, so they left the room alone.

Tattletale sighed, not for the first time during the night, as her brain kept boggling at the strange turns of events her employer kept putting her through. She was about to walk over to the couch to rest when Regent suddenly, and inexplicably, punched her in the arm.

"Ow! Alec, what the fuck?" She complained, rubbing her smarting arm.

"Why didn't you tell us the Boss was so awesome?" the dark haired villain asked. He had taken his mask off upon entering the front door, and his face was wearing a wide, amused grin. "I mean, seriously! He's got a secret society with an ominous name, a huge hidden underground complex, a private army of highly trained and heavily armed mercs, and a mad scientist who's probably making him some doomsday bomb that'll blow up half the city."

"Hey, man, don't even joke about that!" Brian hissed at him.

"No joke, Coil's a fucking Bond villain," Alec laughed. "This is great! I would seriously consider working for this guy for free, he's freaking hilarious. I wonder if he's got a moon base?"

"I'm pretty sure he doesn't," Lisa told him as she took of her mask and sat on the couch. At least... she hoped he didn't.

"Hey, whatever," Brian spoke up. "I admit, the boss may be a bit... eccentric, but he seems on the up and up. As long as he keeps paying us and doesn't try to screw us over, then I say let the guy be as weird as he wants."

"He's even got us freakin' tee-shirts!" Alec exclaimed gleefully as he reached into the plastic bag he was carrying to pull out a black shirt with the red Hydra logo imprinted on its front. He obviously hadn't been paying attention to what Grue was saying.

Brian returned the favor and ignored him in turn. "Lisa, what's your take? Your powers telling you anything? Is the boss serious about all this 'conquer the world' crap?"

The blond villain shrugged. "Wish I could tell you. My powers still won't work on him."

"Still?"

"Hey, that's another plus on the boss's side, far as I'm concerned," Alec remarked with a cheeky grin.

Lisa tried to smack him, but he dodged with a laugh.

"Well, that tells us something at least," Brian said. "The boss is a Trump able to block out Lisa's power. It's small info, but any info is good info."

"Yeah, but until a few days ago Coil didn't have that ability," Lisa complained. "The few times I met with Coil before this Lung thing, I was able to get a read on him with my powers. Not well, he hid stuff pretty well, but I got some data. Now it's like I'm looking at a blank space when I use my powers on him. It's like the guy's a ghost, he doesn't exist."

"How's that possible, though?" Brian asked. "Did his power get stronger? Or is it just another aspect of his original ability that he just learned to use?"

"He might've had a second trigger," Alec chimed in. "That's a thing, right?"

"Well, it's possible," Lisa shrugged. "But that's not the only thing that concerns me. His entire attitude's... different. No, different isn't the right word... um, shifted. Yeah, his entire character shifted. Before he was careful, precise, bordering on paranoid. He took risks, sure, but only through second parties like us. Now he's putting himself out there, showing his hand more, being a lot more theatrical. I mean, seriously... Hydra?"

"It is a bit over dramatic," Brian muttered.

"Hey, don't knock the name," Alec complained. He had taken off his ruffled shirt and under armor to put on the black tee-shirt with the Hydra logo on it. "It's cool. 'Hydra' is spooky and intimidating, plus it's a good fit for a guy with a snake fetish and an army of ex-military super thugs. And you can't tell me that it's worse than some of the cape team names out there. I mean, AZN BAD BOYZ? Sounds like a gay Korean boy band."

"Fine, fine, it's a cool name," their team leader put his hands up, surrendering to Alec's point.

"I'm just saying... keep an eye out," Lisa told them. "There's probably a reason why Coil's going all out like this. I'm pretty sure he won't try to screw us, but..."

"But your powers don't work on him, so you can't say for sure," Brian finished for her.

Lisa gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry."

He sighed, then got up from the couch. "Well, might as well see this through. We'll be careful like always."

Alec and Lisa silently nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'm gonna change, then I'm headed out. Gotta make sure Aisha hasn't burned down our apartment or anything," Brian turned and headed towards the stairs where his "civilian" clothing was kept.

"Good night," Lisa waved. She saw Alec slink off to head to his room, most likely to crash for the night. Lisa envied him a bit, as she knew she was probably going to have to pull an all-nighter. Events had been moving quickly with the ABB during the last few days, as Lung had stepped up his war against Coil. He had been acting more openly, sending his gang into Coil's downtown territory to cause trouble. Coil's mercenaries always arrived to engage, quickly stomping down the poorly armed gangbangers, but in some instances Oni Lee and even Lung himself showed up. Whenever one of the two parahumans joined the fray, standing orders were to disengage as such a fight would have caused needless damage to both property and personnel. Unfortunately, having those two powerhouses always brought down the attention of the PRT and the Protectorate, who inevitably went after both Coil and the ABB's forces. Hydra couldn't afford all that heat, at least not at this stage of the game.

They needed help.

Lisa's job was recruitment, or at least compiling the information that was vital for recruitment. Coil had given her the task of researching and writing up names of local and near-local villains, rogues, and even questionably moral independent heroes who would be open minded enough to joining their new organization. With Hydra operating out in the open now, they would need more muscle. Mr. Reeves told her that a group from out of town called the Travelers had already been contacted, who, from what Lisa overheard, were pretty heavy hitters.

Besides the compilation of data, which would probably take her the better part of the night to type up, there was also another small issue that needed to be dealt with. Lisa popped open her laptop, which she had left on top of the living room table in front of the couch, and tabbed over to her browser. She clicked on the bookmark for the Parahumans Online forums and began to type up a private message.

Spoiler

P:

We should meet. Name a time and a place and I'll be there.

-Tt

Lisa bit her lip and hit SEND.

Well, one task done. She would have been more than happy to just ignore the message this mysterious "P" had sent her, but for some reason Coil had been very insistent that she had to meet "P" and to recruit this person to their cause if she could. Although Lisa was fairly sure that the original message was just a trap laid by the ABB, Coil assured her that she would get all the backup she required if it was.

This was another puzzle that she had felt she needed to solve. Who was "P" and why was Coil so interested in him?

 

INTERLUDE: Super Mysterious Character Whose Identity We in No Way Could Possibly Deduce

A hundred sets of eyes watched the blond-haired supervillain in the lilac costume as she paced across the lonely rooftop. Although her face was calm and her steps firm, the watcher knew the girl well enough to know when she was nervous.

Another six set of eyes watched the rest of the Undersiders. They were situated not too far away, on another building's rooftop that had a corner covered in a large tarp. There Grue, Regent and Bitch sat atop monstrous, mutated dogs, ready to leap into action to assist Tattletale just in case.

And a thousand sets of eyes watched the mercenaries, some in heavy gear while others wore regular clothing, scattered around the area. Each of them had radios, earbuds, or other communications devices. All of them were armed with either rifles or easily concealed pistols. The ones in tactical gear had newly stitched patches with a strange symbol on their jacket's left upper arm; the watcher couldn't tell through the compound eyes of her minions what the symbol was, only that it was red in color.

Three miles away, standing upon another rooftop, was the watcher. She was tall and thin, with shoulder-length brown hair and dark, determined eyes. She wore a form-fitting costume over her body, one that was black and gray and made from spider silk. A thick, heavy gray cloak hung from her shoulders, its hood pulled up over her head. She wore no mask, didn't feel the need. Anyone who was watching her now could see the look of anger, annoyance, and disappointment flashing on her face.

"Damn it, Lisa," she muttered as she leaned forwards, resting her good arm across the railing in front of her. Her right arm was false, a prosthetic that hung limply at her side.

This world wasn't as she remembered. Too many irregularities, too many changes. The year was wrong. The events were wrong. Small and large details seemingly changed with no apparent rhyme or reason for them. It was all random, chaotic. A mess.

Coil was the strangest mess of them all. Though all the people in this garbled up mirror universe stayed basically the same, it was Coil, Thomas Calvert, who behaved and acted completely differently. He was less careful, more prone to acting. He assisted the Undersiders with Lung when he didn't need to. His troops were moving out with more regularity. His forces seemed larger, and there were rumors that he had Bakuda working for him. His men had even stopped their surveillance of Dinah Alcott.

And now, it seemed that Lisa was completely in league with him.

Coil. He was her first true major enemy. She didn't count Lung, or Bakuda, or even Leviathan. It was Coil who truly showed her what evil was, who showed her what she had to do to become who she was. He was ruthless. He was vile.

He was the first person she had ever killed.

And now, she would probably have to kill him again. But that can come later. Right now there were more pressing concerns. She had hoped to secure the aid of the Undersiders, Tattletale especially, for what she needed to do.

"Pestilence," a voice called out from behind her.

She had seen them coming of course, through her minions. Nothing snuck by her anymore.

"We're ready."

Pestilence turned around and saw three hooded, cloaked figures in the shadows. The three were large, and under the fabric of their cloaks revealed bodies that were not quite human. One had two pin-point red lights shining from within the shadows of his hood. Another had red motes rising from between the tatters of his black cloak. The last had smoke or mist rising up from his tall form.

"Good. Let's head out," the woman moved towards them, her form dwarfed by her companions' massive size. Yet she showed no hesitation or fear among them, and the three monsters deferred to her, as if she were the dangerous one.

"WiLL wE reTUrn?" asked the one that was clouded in mist.

"Yes," Pestilence stated, still moving forwards. She opened the rusted door that lead to a stairwell and began moving downwards. "But Jack Slash takes priority. Once he and his freaks are dealt with, then we'll come back here and clean up."

Oh yes, they would be back. To take care of Coil. And Kaiser. And Lung. Although her ultimate goal was to take down Scion and the threat he posed, she personally needed to see Brockton Bay, the city of her birth, cleaned up from all the filth that stained it. Only then could she feel confident enough to take on the Golden God, to strike him down and save the world as she did two years ago.

I'll be back, Brockton Bay, she vowed. I will save you.

Spoiler

MARKED +3

1) AZN BAD BOYZ
2) PROTECTORATE/PRT
3) The Horsemen

​

 

Ha ha. Yeah, this thing's not dead. I had originally written it a month back, but when I hit the POST button, Chrome crashed. When I went to check on the draft I saved, surprise surprise, it wasn't saved. Needless to say I wasn't too thrilled to have to rewrite this entire thing. But lesson learned, I'll write everything in Word from now on.

***


Chapter 15: Hydra Recruitment Drive 01

It was a nice, calm Saturday afternoon in Downtown Brockton Bay. The camera showed a large crowd of people enjoying themselves at an outdoor café, which was typical for business for this time. Birds were chirping, people were smiling and enjoying their overpriced lattes, all the while a nice classical soundtrack played in the background through the hidden speakers in the well-maintained bushes along the clean sidewalk.

This idyllic if somewhat commercial scene was quickly ruined when three tricked out sedans rolled up in front of the café, the lead car climbing up onto the sidewalk and almost hitting one of the trimmed bushes. From the vehicles climbed out twelve youth, each of them Asian and wearing red and green clothing. The crowd of customers grew tense as the young men approached the business, and many watched in shocked silence when the lead teen pulled out a spray paint can and began to fearlessly tag the front of the café's main window with the symbol of the Azn Bad Boys.

The café's manager, who was also Asian, rushed outside and screamed at the boy in fury, only to be clocked in the face with the butt of a pistol as he drew near. Many in the crowd screamed in shock as the man went down; some were about to rush forwards to help the man but stopped when the teenagers drew guns and pointed it at them.

"This street belongs to the ABB!" The lead youth stated boldly, then began firing his gun in the air. The others did the same, causing the crowd to scream and scatter in all directions. The thugs then crowded around the downed manager and began to ruthlessly kick and beat him until the man was unconscious and bloody.

"Bitch!" One of the gang members spat at the man before he and the rest of this friends got into their cars and pulled away. The sedans peeled off down the road, headed back towards the Docks to make their escape, but unfortunately for the thugs my forces cut off their escape three blocks down.

Six black SUV's rushed in front of them, the lead vehicle slamming into the front of one of the sedans, its armored body crushing the white car's frame. Black armored soldiers exited the vehicles, their assault rifles trained on the teenagers in the vehicles. One of the sedans reversed in an attempted to escape, but multiple shots fired into its engine block stopped that plan.

My mercenaries pulled the young thugs out of the car and began binding them. Once the thugs were secure and helpless, they were then subjected to an epic beatdown, one administered by the hands of professionals. After the "discipline" was met out and the teens had ample time to reflect on the supreme fuckup that was their lives, the mercs left their bleeding and crying forms by the side of the road for the police to pick up.

Hey, if Batman had a No-Kill-But-Beat-the-Living-Shit-Out-of-Them Policy then I figured I could, too.

I sighed, switching off the surveillance window on my computer, then leaned back in my chair to ponder. Shit was definitely starting to get real, as the ABB was ramping up their little incursions into my (er, Coil's) territory. The previous scene was sadly not uncommon, as it had been repeating quite regularly for the past two weeks. Asian boys roll in, make trouble, then my mercs come in and smack 'em around like overeager pimps slapping their hos. Rinse and repeat. The only time my men were beaten back were when Lung or Oni Lee showed up, which sadly was becoming quite regularly now. Freaking capes.

Thankfully, the past two weeks were not spent idly. With cute little Tattletale's help, I now had a list in my possession, a short list of names that, if handled correctly, would give Hydra a whole lot more firepower. Now all that was left was to contact them.

There was a chime from my door, and upon hearing my call to enter, Reeves opened the door to my office and stepped in.

"The Travelers are here, sir," my short, spectacled minion stated.

"Excellent," I said with a grin from behind my mask.

Let the recruitment drive begin. Thankfully I had items in my possession that would make joining Hydra all the more enticing.

"Let's go meet our new friends," I told Reeves as I stood from my desk, making sure to grab the metal briefcase on my way to the door.

​

Subject One: THE TRAVELERS

Our first round contestants would be the Travelers. Because Coil had already contacted the group before I had arrived, they weren't on Tattletale's list. But, if what I remember from the canon story was correct, this group of refugees from Earth Aleph were desperate. Both to return home, and to cure their group's former leader, Noelle, from the side effects of a hastily administered Cauldron vial. In the original story, this poor group was on the edge of collapse. I couldn't even imagine how they holding up now, having to live four years longer on Earth Bet, struggling to survive and trying to keep Noelle's ferocious hunger and madness at bay.

Well, thankfully for these kids, I had the cure for at least one of their problems.

Reeves and I met the Travelers in the upper garage area, the one where I had held my fantabulous Hydra coming-out party. The young villains were all in costume, each of them standing near the large semi-truck that held Noelle's massive form. The doors to the trailer were locked, and I had Reeves make sure that the entire thing was both insulated from noise and well armored. We didn't want the girl inside to get too… rambunctious.

Surrounding the truck were my black-uniformed mercenaries, with Major Steel supervising. They were armed and ready to intervene if Noelle for whatever reason lost control. Off to the side of them was Mr. Pitter in his medical scrubs, along with two other members of the medical team.

Currently I had twenty two timelines running concurrently, each dedicated to seeing this through. I was determined to give these guys a happy ending. The way the canon story for them ended was incredibly depressing for me. Since I was changing things in this world anyway (hopefully for the better) I figured I might as well do so. The part of me that was a dedicated fanfic author had reservations though, as it felt that solving every character's problems as I was currently doing put me too much into the Mary Sue category. But I quickly told that part of me to shut his stupid nerd mouth up!

This was real life, after all. NOT a fanfiction!

…

…

…

Anyway…

As Reeves and I approached the Travelers, I tried to take them all in, to see them as a group in order to get a better idea of their plight. That plan was quickly forgotten, however, as my eyes zoomed in directly to Sundancer and her tight, tight, tight costume.

Daaaaamn, girl! You must be doing some hardcore squats. Cuz dat ASS is fiiiine…

I'm not exactly sure how long I stood there staring, but when I finally stopped I noticed everyone staring at me with wide, shocked eyes.

"Uh… did I just say that out loud?"

Everyone nodded. Sundancer looked away, her face beet red.

Shit. Definitely not the time to have complimented my soon-to-be minion about her shapely derriere. There's a time and a place for such things, after all. With a sigh, I collapsed that universe. I made a mental note to remember the line for future use, though. That one was solid gold!

In the remaining timelines I made sure to pay attention to the other Travelers while keeping my perusal of Sundancer's smokin' hot bod to a minimum. I glanced over at Trickster, with his thin form, top hat and cane. Then to the muscular Ballistic, in his boxy armor and helmet. I… uh, "skimmed" over Sundancer's form to a wheelchair-bound girl who must have been Genesis. Hmmm… not bad. Kind of homey, but that definitely had it's own charm to it. Plus, there was the fact that if you jam her tires she couldn't run away from you. Hew hew hew hew…

The last member of the Travelers, besides the one in the trailer, was a bit of a surprise. He was a young man dressed in not a costume, but slacks and a blue dress shirt. From his pretty face I deduced that this was Oliver, the member of the group who took the other half of the vial that Noelle had drunk. Unlike the unfortunate girl though, Oliver's power was less beast and more beauty, as his good looks changed constantly, going from one form of pretty boy handsome to another.

Yep. I would definitely go gay for him and I am not ashamed to admit it.

Moving on...

Trickster saw us approach and moved away from the group to meet us. "Hello," he greeted, "you must be Coil."

"Correct," I gave him a nod. The young man looked nervous, and he moved his hand forwards as if to offer it in a handshake but hesitated. I couldn't really blame him though, since he had just come from Accord's company. When even the slightest of social faux pas could get you killed, it was understandable that one would remain hesitant.

"I'm, uh, Trickster," he stated, lowering the hand somewhat awkwardly.

"Good to meet you, Trickster," I told him in a pleasant tone, hoping to calm him down a bit. He and his group were powerful, and I couldn't build a healthy employer-employee relationship if the group leader was weary of me after all.

"Yeah, likewise. Uh... on the phone, when we talked. You said you could help us in finding a cure for Noelle." Although Trickster's voice was calm and even, I could see in his eyes a dark desperation. It was quite obvious that he and his group were on their last legs, and I was their last hope of ever getting a happy ending.

Well, I should probably give it to them, shouldn't I?

"Yes, I did say that, didn't I?" I told him, an eager smile popping up on my lips, though obviously he couldn't see it from behind my reflective face plate. "When should we start?"

His eyes widened from behind his mask. "Start?" He asked me in confusion.

"Yes. What time would be good to give Noelle her cure?"

There were numerous gasps from behind him, as the other members of the Travelers heard what I said.

"You really mean that?" Sundancer asked, her eyes wide with hope. I gave the beautiful young woman a nod, and tried my best not to stare at her chest. It was quite difficult.

"Fuck," Ballistic muttered, his shoulders sagging in relief. Genesis and Oliver looked at each other, a look of doubt on their faces. It was obvious from their frowns that this group had been burned before.

"Y-you're telling me that you already have a cure for Noelle?" Trickster stuttered out.

"Yes, let me show you." I looked towards Reeves, who had been carrying the briefcase full of mystery powers that the Worm CYOA game had provided. The short man stepped forwards while lifting the briefcase up in his hands. He kept it steady while I tapped the screen, ready to vocalize the audio password. "Errr…"

Click.

Spoiler

ACCESS GRANTED. HAVE A NICE DAY.​

… Mental note: Switch to a less shitty briefcase.

Within the interior of the case were all the various superhero formulas, with the exceptions of vials number 4 and number 10, the two that through my completely humanitarian Reeves experimentation I deemed much too dangerous to use. The two vials were safely locked inside my personal safe, at least temporarily until I could manage to get some Tinker to build me a rocket ship to shoot them both into space.

I reached into the briefcase and removed vial number 6, the one marked THE WEAPON. I held it up in my gloved hand so that the Travelers could see it.

"Those vials," Genesis said in a whisper.

"They're like the ones that gave us our powers," Sundancer said out loud. "The same ones that turned Noelle into…"

"No," I interrupted them before they could come to the wrong conclusion. "These vials are much more advanced than the ones you found. They are one hundred percent viable, with no side effects whatsoever." At least I hoped so. Their description in the game's pages didn't mention any side effects, at any rate.

"You're sure about that?" Trickster asked.

"I am," I stated with the utmost confidence. "This particular vial has certain unique properties that should return your friend back to her regular, healthy state. What's more is that it will overwrite the previous formula she had ingested, thus giving her new abilities."

The other members of the Travelers began to talk amongst themselves excitedly, their previously dour emotions lifting upon hearing that what they had sought out for so long could very well be within their grasp. Trickster was the only holdout though, as he remained grim faced and frowning. Despite his dour look, his eyes were riveted to the vial I held, and I could see the desperate need in his eyes to believe. But I knew that this would be hard, especially for him. He blamed himself, perhaps rightfully so, for Noelle's current state. For five years he kept this group of friends together, through hardship, violence, and betrayal. Five long years of fighting for their lives, searching for hope only to be disappointed in the end, of losing a bit of themselves each time they had to commit a crime in order to survive and carry on. Bad luck after bad luck, dashed hope after dashed hope. That ended now. It was time to give these guys a break.

"Fine," Trickster asked, his eyes looking from me to the vial. His voice sounded resigned, defeated even. He knew that I knew that he and his friends would do anything to have the cure, and that I could probably ask them to become my permanent slaves and they would do so. "What do you want for it?"

"Nothing."

My answer caused his eyes to widen in shock. "What?"

"I want nothing for this vial," I told him. "The cure I shall give to you for free."

Trickster opened his mouth, then shut it. He repeated the movement several times, trying to form some semblance of words through his shock. "But... why?"

"Don't question my gift, Krouse," I said, noticing him flinch upon me using his real name. "Noelle wasn't your fault. Neither was Cody. You tried your best."

"How do you know…?"

I knew he would be the hardest one to convince of my sincerity. It was time to lay it all out to him, to do the hard sell. "The same way I know that you, Francis Krouse, have been through much these past five years." Trickster flinched again when I spoke his name, as did Ballistic and Genesis. Sundancer gasped in shock while Oliver just stared dumbfounded. "Five years since the Simurgh stole you, and Noelle, and Marissa, and Jess, and Luke, and Oliver, and Cody from Earth Aleph. I know you six have suffered much, Noelle most of all."

"How could you possibly know all this?" Genesis asked. I could see her hands gripping the armrests of her wheelchair tightly.

I simply tapped a gloved finger onto my facemask in answer, around the area where the nose would be. I left it at that, letting them come to their own conclusions. They'd probably believe that such knowledge came from an aspect of my power, and frankly that was probably for the best. The truth was just too unbelievable for any of them to grasp.

"I know that those you met on your long road never gave you much reason to trust them," I told Trickster, whose shoulders were suddenly shaking with emotion. "So I understand how you may have suspicions about my intentions. But please, just this once, Krouse… trust someone. Trust me. Let me help you."

My words seemed to have the desired effect, and the young villain nodded. I handed him the vial and he stared at it for a moment, his eyes wide and disbelieving. He had probably dreamt of this moment for years. It was understandable that he was hesitant, not able to believe the reality in front of him. He eventually shook off his stupor, as a grim, determination took hold of him. He turned around and marched towards the tractor trailer. Towards Noelle.

"Open the doors," I ordered the mercenaries standing nearby. They rushed over towards the trailer's back doors and unlocked it, before using their full strengths to pull open the heavily armored aperture. I saw everyone back up and scrunch their nose as they were suddenly assaulted by the foul stench of rot, fetid meat, and decay that flowed out from inside the container. Thankfully for me my helmet filtered out such things and I was spared.

"Noelle?" Trickster called out as he approached the open doors of the trailer. Inside was pure darkness, the lights from the garage unable to penetrate its shadows.

"Krouse?" The voice that emerged from the abyss within was tiny, its tone sounding beyond exhausted. The truck shook as something large within shifted itself.

"Yeah, it's me. I have good news, Noelle," Trickster stopped just outside the open doors. "Do you remember that man we came here to see? The one Accord put us in touch with?"

"Why are you bothering me with this?" The voice took on an irritated tone, going from soft to deranged in seconds. "I just want to sleep, damn it. Is that so much to ask?"

"I know, Noelle," Trickster said softly, an attempt at reassurance. "But I have good news. We think we might have found a cure for you."

"What?" The voice asked, its tone soft once more, after a moment of silence. "Really?"

"Y-yeah," Krouse's voice broke as he spoke. He raised the vial in his hand and showed it to her. "I promised you, didn’t I?"

The trailer shook again as the thing inside began to move. Soon I saw Noelle emerge from the shadows, and it took everything I had not to take a step back in horror. The description the author gave of the girl did not do justice to just how truly gruesome and appalling Echidna was. The young woman's upper body was normal, if somewhat pale and thin. Her long hair was stringy, and there were bags under her eyes, but she was relatively normal. Everything below her belly though…

Inhuman was an apt way to describe it. Like the giant bloated carcass of a fat insect larva, only one that had been stepped on so that its sides ruptured and all its insides squirted from the fissures. Except instead of insect guts, arms, legs, hair, claws, eyes, even what looked like parts of faces emerged from the wounds.

"Please," Noelle begged. "Please don't lie. I couldn't take it if you were lying…"

Trickster looked back to me, his expression desperate. I gave him a slight nod, and with that he uncorked the vial. "D-drink this, Noelle."

"Are you sure?" She asked. "The last time you had me drink one of these things, I…" Her features scrunched up, her body coiled dangerously.

"Please, just one last time, Noelle," Krouse pleaded. "Just trust me this one last time. Then, afterwards, you won't have to anymore."

The monster nodded. Her painfully thin arm reached down and took the vial, then with one long gulp, drank down its contents. Nothing happened at first, but then she gasped out loud, her arms wrapping around her torso as she gasped out in pain.

"It hurts!" she shouted, the back half of her lower body rising, before slamming down hard. It smashed into the back half of the open trailer, crushing and crunching the metal downwards and pulping the back tires and axle to mulch.

The mercenaries raised their guns in concern, aiming the barrels towards the now screaming Noelle.

"Stop! Lower your weapons, now!" I ordered. My men obeyed, but the Travelers themselves were tensed, their attention split between the armed mercs around them as well as their wildly thrashing friend.

"What's going on?" demanded Trickster. "What's happening with her?"

"This will only last for a moment," I assured him. "I apologize for the discomfort she's in, but this is completely natural." At least it had been with Reeves. I remembered my minion suffering through a few seconds of pain as well when I had tested it on alternate versions of him, but it the pain had never gone on for this long. In all twenty-two of my timelines I clutched my hands into fists, praying for this to work.

After two whole minutes of pure agony, Noelle ceased her mindless thrashing. She looked up, and before our eyes her skin began to regain some color. It went from an ashen, pale and unhealthy shade to a more natural tan. Through the mess of brown hair that was draped in front of her face, I saw her smile.

"Krouse!" She told Trickster. "I can feel it working!"

There was a burst of excitement from the Travelers. Trickster remained where he was, standing still as he watched in awe as Noelle began to heal. After her coloration turned normal, her thin body filled out to a healthier shape. Then, with a sickening rip, the side of Noelle's monstrous lower half split open and two normal, feminine legs emerged. With a grunt, Noelle pulled herself out of the mess that was once her gruesome lower body. She emerged, crawling like a newborn baby from a hideous womb, whole and human once more.

"Oh God," She said softly as she sat back, looking down at her once again human legs. She then burst out into tears.

"Noelle!" Krouse rushed over to kneel down and embraced the sobbing young woman.

The rest of the Travelers did the same, all of them laughing and cheering as they crowded around their once again human team mate. Sundancer wrapped her arms around Noelle, and soon she was followed by Genesis and Oliver. Ballistic knelt down next to Krouse and gave him a hearty pat on the back, and from the eyeholes in his helmet I could see the wetness on his cheeks.

"You did it, man," he told Krouse. "You did it..."

I stood there for several minutes, just watching the friends laugh and cry, the happiness very much palpable from all of them. Mr. Pitter walked up to my side, followed by two of his medical staff.

"Should we check the girl over, make sure she's alright?" he asked me.

I shook my head. "Give them a moment," I told him. "They deserve this."

I turned my attention back to the Travelers and saw Noelle looking at me. She was smiling brightly, looking just like a regular girl and not the monster she had been just a few minutes ago. Krouse had his arms wrapped tightly around her, his head laying on her shoulder as he began sobbing hysterically. Noelle hugged him back but her eyes remained on me, mouthing the words "Thank you" as she did.

This was how you gain loyalty, Coil, I told myself, or in actuality, I told my former self. The one whose body I now occupied.

This was how you gain loyalty. Not through threats and coercion, not through intimidation and blackmail. Not through bribery or deceit. You did it by helping people, by making their lives better.

Behind my faceless mask, I smiled. My chest felt heavy, and I have to confess that I may have felt tears slide down my cheeks as well. The sight in front of me was just too damn beautiful. It felt wonderful to help them. I smiled wider as Noelle held Krouse's forehead against hers, the girl laughing and sobbing at the same time, while the boy looked deeply into her eyes, his happiness matching her own. Then, without warning, two metallic claws suddenly shot out from Noelle's right hand to imbed themselves directly into the young man's face, the invincible adamantium shanks piercing the boy's brain and killing him instantly.

HOLY SHIT!

Noelle screamed as blood splattered her. Sundancer scream soon followed, obviously distraught upon seeing her dead and impaled team mate. Soon Genesis and Oliver added their shocked and horrified screams to the cacophony as well. Ballistic fainted in shock.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

Talk about ruining a great moment! This was so FUCKED up! What the HELL?!

Um… maybe I should have warned them about those claws before the heart-warming group hug started? Christ...

With a sigh I collapsed that universe.

Thankfully, the other timelines were pretty much the same as the previous one and I was able to warn Noelle about the hidden blades in her hands before she tragically skewered one of her friends. Instead of horrified screaming the group was now laughing in amusement and delight as Noelle held out her hands for them to examine the curious sight of two sharp blades emerging from her knuckles.

"Thank you," she told me, her cheeks still wet with happy tears.

"Um… you're welcome?" I said, my voice a bit strained. Man, I will never get that image of Trickster's pin cushioned face out of my head. Ugh!

 

Chapter Sixteen: Hydra Recruitment Drive 02

The Downtown area, despite being known for being the commercial center of the city, had quite a few spaces still under construction. One of these construction sites was the expansive Mayburn plot, the future site for a high rises that would house not only office spaces but expensive condominiums as well. The site spanned three city blocks and was well on its way to being completed, with the foundation already laid and the steel skeleton of the buildings already formed. A veritable army of construction workers and a fleet of vehicles were busy at work developing the area.

The Mayburn plot was also, according to Reeves, one of my (or, technically, the real Coil's) more legitimate operations. One of his subsidiary corporations owned the construction company in charge of building the site, while another of his fronts ran the group that would eventually sell the leases for the buildings once they were up. I really wasn't sure whether or not the ABB knew this when they attacked or whether they just chose the site at random, but you gotta admit it was one hell of a coincidence.

A half an hour past noon, a caravan of sedans and vans rolled up onto the site, almost running over one of the construction workers who waved at them to stop. From inside the vehicles emerged about thirty youths of an Asian and Pacific Islander persuasion, all of whom wore the red and green colors of the Azn Bad Boys. Each of them were armed with handguns and sub-machine guns, and upon seeing these weapons most of the construction workers swiftly left the site in an orderly fashion. The gun-toting thugs let the men and women leave, keeping a lookout for trouble while six of them began to haul out barrels of something from the back of the vans and pickup trucks they came in.

The foreman speed dialed a number on his phone, one that connected directly to Hydra's emergency line that would summon a full squad of Major Steel's mercenaries to the site. He then ducked into a nearby trailer and rushed to a locker, inputting a combination on the electronic lock. Once the door popped open, the sixty-year old former Marine pulled out one of the heavily modified assault rifles from within, inserted one of the sixty-round magazines, slid back the operating rod, then waited. Although the man technically wasn't one of Steel's mercs, he was still qualified to provide backup and would be collecting a bounty of three hundred dollars for every enemy combatant he "subdued."

Six minutes passed with the ABB thugs setting up those vats of whatever inside the half-constructed buildings on the site. From the surveillance footage I could see that the kids were hardly trained for such things, as they were extremely nervous handling the barrels. One of them even lost control of their cargo, tipping it over and spilling what looked like an amber, sticky liquid all over the ground. One of the lead thugs cursed him out in Mandarin, which wasn't really helping matters much since the kid who spilled the stuff was Filipino. On well, I'm guessing he got the gist of it, since he ran off to get another barrel from a nearby van. He never got the chance though as five armored SUVs suddenly pulled up into the construction site, from which emerged twenty of Steel's mercs, each wearing the scarlet insignia of Hydra on their sleeves.

The mercenaries exchanged fire with the now panicking thugs, four of whom went down quick. Another two went down when the foreman began firing on the group from behind a stack of girders. The mercs quickly surrounded the ABB, making good use of cover to box in their foes who were forced to duck behind their own vehicles lest they get mowed down in the heavy fire. For a moment there it looked like the situation would get mopped up pretty quickly by the mercs, and everyone would be able to get back to base all hunky dory just in time for tea and crumpets or whatever it is Steel's men did on their spare time. Unfortunately, things didn't go as well as I'd hoped since that was when Oni Lee showed up.

His entrance was marked by one of the SUVs exploding upwards into the air. The effects of gravity were quick to take hold of the flying airborne vehicle though, as it swiftly returned to earth to land on top of two other Hydra SUVs. Not really sure how Lee managed to do that, but you gotta give that teleporting nutjob some credit. Lung's second in command suddenly appeared directly behind one of my mercenaries, his brightly colored demon mask smiling widely as his sword sliced down on the surprised woman. Thankfully her armor blunted much of the strike, but unfortunately the kevlar surrounding her neck proved no match for the blade and it sliced deep into her skin. The merc managed to pull out her side arm and fire off three rounds before she went down though, but unfortunately Oni Lee vanished into a puff of ash right as the bullets hit him in the chest. One of the mercs rushed to the downed woman to apply emergency first aid, while across the lot Oni Lee reappeared just in time to cut down the foreman who turned his rifle just a little too late to catch the psychopath as the sword cut off his head.

Damn. I guess the guy won't be getting his bonus after all.

Oni Lee continued his Naruto bull-shit as he popped in and out, harassing my mercs. Although they got injured, my men managed to fend him off, but unfortunately this also left them open to the other ABB thugs which had regrouped and were quick to capitalize on the situation. They began to fire their weapons, pinning down the mercenaries, who were forced to contend not only with their fire but with Lee's aggressive kamikaze style attacks.

Just when all hope seemed lost, an explosion rocked the area as a steam roller shot through the air with the velocity of a bullet, and slammed directly into a contingent of ABB gang members as they were firing on one downed merc. The massive impact not only smashed the thugs into pulp, but flattened the cover they were using as well as shattering the surrounding landscape. A sonic boom swiftly followed the crash, all but knocking the surviving gang members off their feet.

If the steam roller-slash-artillery piece phased Oni Lee at all, he did not show it, as the teleporting psychopath continued to attack the mercenaries. He teleported behind one of the mercs who had been taking cover behind a palette of insulation and jabbed his sword down directly into the man's neck. Just as the blade was about to pierce skin, the merc vanished to be replaced by a small fire hydrant. The blade broke against the tough metal and Oni Lee cursed, teleporting away in a puff of ash.

Meanwhile the remaining ABB thugs were doing battle with a brown-haired young woman in a black and red bodysuit and long red scarf which hid the bottom of her face. She was weaving and ducking through the crowd of gang bangers, slicing apart their weapons with the invincible set of metal claws that had sprouted from the backs of her hands. She quickly incapacitated the ones she disarmed with swift kicks to the torso or jabs with her elbow, sending them off to lala land with the bonus of a few broken ribs or noses. A few of the thugs managed to pepper her with rounds from their guns, but the girl all but ignored the bullets as she continued her assault, the wounds from the gunshots almost disappearing as soon as they were dealt.

Onil Lee was now ignoring my mercs in lieu of the greater threat, and the men used this moment to withdraw from the fight, two of them carrying the critically injured female member. Lee appeared to engage the girl in the red scarf just as she finished knocking out the last ABB thug, and the two quickly got into a whiling dance of deadly blades. Unfortunately for Lee, his sword was no match for adamantium shanks as one glancing strike from the girl's blades left his sliced to pieces. Lee vanished into ash and reappeared twenty feet away nest to a stack of piping. Suddenly, those pipes vanished to be replaced by what looked to be the horrific love child of a ten-foot-tall spider and a rhinoceros. It slammed down onto the ninja, trapping him under its full weight for a brief second before Lee vanished once more into a puff of ashes.

Seconds of silence turned into minutes, and pretty soon it was obvious that Oni Lee wasn't up for any more rough housing. I leaned forwards in my seat and hit a button on my keyboard, bringing up the Traveler's audio frequency.

"Well done, Skiver," I told Noelle through the microphone. "Get your team home."

I saw the girl look up into one of the site's surveillance cameras and give me a smile from behind her scarf. The twin blades retracted back into her hands, and soon the leader of the Travelers turned away to address her teammates. Genesis lumbered over in her spider-rhino form, while Sundancer and Ballistic entered the construction site from the main entrance. Trickster appeared next to Noelle, replacing a stack of sandbags she was walking past. With the exception of Noelle and Genesis, all were wearing the same costumes they had originally worn though with one distinct difference: each had the red symbol of Hydra emblazoned upon them.

"Good job guys," Noelle, code name Skiver, told her friends. "We definitely kicked ass today." She flicked her long scarf back over her right shoulder, revealing the scarlet tentacled cobra symbol of Hydra etched onto her bodysuit above the left breast.

"Maybe you guys did," Sundancer complained, "but I didn't get to do anything." Her Hydra symbol was in the center of her chest, where the sun symbol used to be.

"That's probably a good thing," Ballistic stated with a grin. His Hydra emblem was at the top of his boxy helmet. "Less property damage, especially on one of the boss's sites."

"Pfft, you're one to talk," Genesis said, her feminine tones sounding strange coming out of a giant spider-rhino monster. Although her projection didn't have a Hydra symbol on it, she kept up with the team-unity aspect of the new Travelers by coloring her projection a blood red. "Using a steam roller? Really? You killed like five guys!"

"Hey, they were trying to murder our agents," Trickster said in a firm tone. "Those punks deserved what they got." Ever since I cured Noelle, Trickster had become very gung-ho about joining Hydra. He was actually quite fanatical in his loyalty. I'm not really sure if that was a good thing or not, to be honest. His Hydra symbol was stitched onto the left sleeve of his jacket.

"Anyway, let's get back to base," Noelle told them just as the van I sent to pick them up arrived. The Travelers all jumped into the back for transportation home, with the exception of the Genesis projection, which just winked out.

I sighed and sat back into the cushiony goodness of the Throne of Comfort. Lung's attacks in my territory continued to intensify, but because I now had the Travelers on my payroll, the losses I'd previously suffered had been cut back by a marginal degree. In order to combat the full threat of the ABB, as well as get my "Kill Scion ASAP" plan into action, I needed to recruit more muscle. Only then could Hydra enter the big leagues and be a force to be reckoned with.

I closed my eyes and checked on the other timelines I had running. I had 68 concurrent universes running along with this one, each dedicated to the battle at the construction yard. I had discovered earlier that through the use of my powers, the numbers of universes directly under the sway of my Overmind had expanded. It seems as if the more I used my power, the stronger it became. This allowed me to dedicate a FUCK-ton of alternate timelines to important shit like battles, while I kept other side-universes deployed just in case something really screwed up happen. Save scumming at its best, yo.

Right now, out of the 68 other timelines, 64 had the Travelers winning. In the universes where they lost, it was due to Lung showing up and just being a general asshole about it. Of those 64, fifteen had outcomes where both the foreman and the female merc emerged unscathed. Of those fifteen, there were three where Ballistic used something less destructive than a freaking steamroller to take down those ABB gang members, thus keeping enemy deaths to a minimum.

From those three timelines, I chose the one where Sundancer had forgot to zip up her costume all the way, thus giving me and all of mankind major glimpses of her heavenly cleavage. God DAMN. A guy can fall in there and live out the rest of his life happy and content. Ahem. Anyway, I promptly collapsed all universes except that one, and quickly saved some screenshots of the best angles from the surveillance footage. I then shuffled said screenshots into a folder marked "RESEARCH" for later... perusal.

Yes, I'll definitely have to peruse those later once I got my 1:30 appointment finished. Speaking of...

"Mr. Reeves," I spoke into the mic inside my helmet as I brought up my helpful minion's audio channel. "Is my Zero-One-Thirty appointment ready?"

"Yes, sir," Reeves said through my earpiece. "I have made the two young gentlemen comfortable in guest room J5."

"Excellent. I shall be right over."

​

Subject Two: Über and L337.


While most of the base is decorated in what I call Coil Minimalist, consisting mostly of bare concrete walls and floors, exposed piping, and stainless steel doors, many of the rooms and facilities have quite the homey charm. These include the facility's guest rooms, which were designed to keep guests (and/or prisoners) comfortable and not too panicky. It had leather couches, fine wood paneling, small wooden table, a larger table with chairs for more formal meetings, as well as a small fridge filled with snacks and drinks.

There was also a hidden security camera, electronic listening devices, and vents to pump in poison gas just in case, but those aren't really conductive to guest (and/or prisoner) morale so we didn't tell anyone about those features.

Anyway, inside the roomy guest room J5 sat the famous (or, I clichey-ly daresay in-famous) duo of Über and Leet. Er, 1337. L337? L33t? Whatever.

The two were basically third rate villains with a crappy Youtube channel. Apparently, Youtube in Earth Bet was awesome as they allowed illegal shit to be put up, since said duo used their channel as a platform to broadcast their crimes to the world. The channel had a respectable following from what I understand, though judging from their comments section most people viewed their videos to watch the less than competent villains fail. And, usually, they failed spectacularly.

Case in point, the two in front of me were dressed as the Super Mario Bothers. And for some reason, Über was Luigi. That's right. Luigi.

"... Hello," I greeted them as I entered the room, Reeves following closely behind. I split the timeline into twelve separate universes, just to cover all my bases.

"Uh, hey. You must be Coil," Uber stood up and shook my hand. Unlike in his videos, Über didn't speak in his usual deep, baritone movie trailer announcer's voice. Instead his tones were firm and regular, just like a normal persons. Huh. I guess he was using his inside voice today.

I turned to Leet to greet him, but the short young man just stayed seated where he was, looking down at the ground, fidgeting nervously. From beneath the brim of his red Mario hat I could see his pretty blue eyes glancing around the room, his soft pink lips under the fake mustache frowning in apprehension. His delicate arms were wrapped around his midsection protectively, pressing his costume down round the two soft bulges protruding from his chest.

...

.......

............

Waitaminute! Someting fishy was going on here...

Pretty eyes, soft pink lips, delicate arms, BOOBIES?! I may not be an expert in human biology, but I was smart enough to know that dudes don't have boobies. Not the fun kind, anyway.

"Uh," I sounded out, my mind trying to find the most delicate way to approach this subject with them. "Leet... why are you a chick?" Mission accomplished.

Said supervillain shrunk in her seat, cheeks flushing red. In a tiny voice, she stated softly, "I don't wanna talk about it."

If I were Japanese or a Weeaboo I would be jumping up and down right now, squealing "KAWAII! KAWAII!!!" at the top of my lungs.

... oh, wait. Shit. One of me was jumping up and down, sqealing "KAWAII! KAWAII!!!" at the top of my lungs. Dammit, moe anime. What have you done to my soul? I quickly collapsed that universe.

"I apologize for the confusion," Über told me with an embarrassed smile. "A few weeks ago, one of Leet's inventions kinda went haywire. This... is the result."

Seriously? Why the fuck didn't this happen in canon then? Did something I do butterfly into an even so bizarre that it caused a tinkertech accident that somehow gender-bent Leet? What the FUCK did I do?

There was a soft sniffle from the seated figure. "I'm a freak. You always warned me that this would happen, that if I weren't more careful with my work something horrible would happen. This is what arrogant science has wrought," the young now-woman wiped at her eyes and let out a sob. "I have become a monster!"

"C'mon, Leet, don't say that!" The talll, muscular young villain took off his Luigi hat and knelt down next to his friend, patting her gently on the back. "You're not a freak, and you are in no way a monster. You may look different now, but you're still the same badass supervillain that you were before!"

Leet looked up, her bright blue eyes shiny with tears. "R-really?"

Holy shit she was cute. Even with the fake mustache dangling from her upper lip.

"Damn right!" Über grinned. "Hell, it might even be an improvement. Our channel's subscriber count is through the roof! We gained like 300,000 subs after you changed, remember?"

Leet frowned. "I... I guess."

Über, bless his super-powered heart, kept trying to cheer his buddy up. "And hey! Now we can get more coverage for the characters we portray! You can cosplay as Princess Peach, Zelda, or even Lara Croft! Oh! And we can finally wear those Ice Climbers costumes without getting any 'GAAAY' comments on our videos!"

Oh, Über. Your naiveté is adorable.

"My God," Leet looked up at her partner with a shocked expression on her face. "You're right! This opens up so many possibilities now! Mario and Peach, Leon and Claire, Joe and Ellie!"

"Exactly!" Über's smile suddenly transformed into a teasing grin. "And I gotta say, you definitely make one hot chick, Leet."

Leet's cheeks flushed brightly, and she turned her blushing face away from her partner, a hand to her cheek as she giggled whilst the other slapped away at Über's chest. "Stop it! Stop it! You're embarrassing me! Stop it!"

Über laughed with her.

...

Okay. Whatever this was, it had to stop. Like, right now. Right fucking now.

"Ahem," I coughed out, interrupting the two... whatever they were.

"Oh, sorry about that," Über stood up from his kneeling position next to his partner and grinned. "You know how women are."

Leet continued to giggle to herself, hands pressed gleefully against her apple-red cheeks.

"... yes." I sat down with as much dignity as I could muster and motioned for Über to do the same. "I called you here for a specific purpose."

"Oh?" Über's face was ultra serious now. He's probably channeling some super-business-negotiator skill that his power gave him, which was extremely bullshit to be honest but hey, that's one of the reasons I wanted to hire him.

"Indeed. I wish to offer you two employment." I nodded to a nearby flatscreen monitor, which switched on to reveal the multi-tentacled cobra head that was Hydra's symbol. "I have begun to gather talented individuals from all over the world to form an organization, one that has one singular and unifying purpose." I stayed silent for a moment, building up the tension to add more drama to my speech. Both of the young villains seated in front of me seemed to eat i tall up, as they very well should since their proclivities tended to fall towards the theatrical and overdramatic. "And... that purpose is power."

And saving the world. But that conversation can be held at a later date.

"Through my organization, Hydra, I intend to ascend to the highest seats of power. Government, corporate, military, even spiritual and religious. All shall fall before Hydra's grasp. And I wish for you two to join me."

The two were silent for a long time, each digesting my proposal. Über was frowning with worry, and I could tell that he thought he was way over his head on this one. I suppose following your best friend to do petty crime and broadcast it on the internet was one thing, but joining a dark secret organization with aims to conquer the world was quite another.

Leet, on the other hand, seemed awed. She kept glancing from me, to the screen with Hydra's emblem, to her partner, then back to me again. Finally, she sighed, then looked up at me with frightened eyes. "Holy shit," she stated in a soft, overwhelmed tone. "You really are a super villain aren't you?"

Behind my mirrored visor, I raised an eyebrow. "Well, so are you."

"No, I mean," she shook her head, then sighed again. "I mean, you're a real one. Me, I'm just a wanna be."

"Leet," Über spoke up with concern.

"No, Jeff, it's true." Leet bit her bottom lip, chewing it with worry, before reaching up to pull off the ridiculous fake mustache from her face. "I know I'm a joke. Everyone says it, especially on our videos' comments. I read that shit, Jeff, I'm not an idiot. I know what people say about me, what heroes and other villains say about me. I'm a loser, and I know it." Über, or Jeff apparently, tried to speak up in defense of his friend, but Leet shook her head. "Don't. I know what I am, I know that I'm holding you back. Everyone says you'd be a fantastic villain if it weren't for me, always fucking things up."

"That's not true!"

"Yes, it is." Leet smiled sadly. "It wasn't always like that, remember? When we first started out, I could build anything I wanted. Guns, armor, vehicles, computers, shit... the sky was the limit with my power. But then, things started to go wrong. I... started to go wrong." Her blue eyes rose up to look at me, and I could see that they had become wet with tears once more. "Which is why I'm so confused. Über, I understand you wanting to recruit. But why me? Why would a genuine super villain like you want a pathetic, broken loser like me in your awesome organization?"

I blinked, then coughed uncomfortably. Wow. I mean, like... wow. Where the hell did all THAT come from? Seriously. When I first read Worm, I laughed at how pitiful Leet was. Hell, everyone did. He was a loser, plain and simple. His power was pathetic, and the way he acted was pathetic in return. He was comedy relief, nothing more. Now... now this. The fuck? I don't need this guilt trip! What the hell?

Part of me wondered if I would be feeling guilty at all if Leet were still a guy right now and not a cute girl. Would his tearful speech still be affecting me as much if old Leet were the one doing the talking? Was I really that contemptible and juvenile?

... yeah, most likely. But I can fix this!

You are such a Mary Sue, says the fanfiction writer part of my brain.

FUCK YOU NERD! says the non-lame part of my brain.

"That is one of the items I wished to discuss with you," I told them in a calm, rational tone. "You see, if you join Hydra, not only will I provide the both of you with a salary, bonus opportunities, healthcare and dental, field support from my many operatives and facilities to live and work, but I can also fix your problem."

Leet's eyes went wide. "What? You mean you can turn me back into a guy?" For some reason, she didn't sound all too thrilled about that proposition.

"Um, no," I told them. I saw Über look strangely happy upon hearing me say that. "I meant that I could fix your power."

"What?" Leet muttered, aghast.

"No shit?" Über looked equally shocked. "You know a way to have Leet make her stuff more than once?"

"Even better." I signaled over to Reeves, and he walked over to hand me a black metal briefcase. Upon the lid was engraved the red symbol of Hydra, and within were the remaining power vials that I had been gifted with. I finally replaced that stupid case they had originally come in, and although the lock wasn't tinkertech voice-activated, it was still more secure than that piece of crap ever was.

"I can make her powers stronger," with those words, I extracted a vial from within the black case. I held it up for the duo's inspection, keeping the label marking it "THE TYCOON" away from their eyes. "With this vial I can make Leet one of the most powerful, most versatile Tinkers on the planet. She will be able to build almost anything she wishes, and I guarantee that there are no side effects with the upgrade whatsoever."

Über frowned, obviously believing my words to be too good to be true. He was about to say so when Leet interrupted him.

"Yes!" she shouted, taking all of us in the room by surprise. She blushed at her outburst, and in a more sedate tone, continued speaking. "Yes, I'll join you."

"Leet, are you sure?" Her partner asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Yes, Jeff, I am. This is big, really big! This is our chance!" Leet smiled at Über, grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight. "You always wanted to go bigger with our jobs, didn't you? To branch out to more profitable schemes. I was always too scared to do it, I was afraid that my inventions would fail and we'd get caught and sent to jail. But if this guy can really fix my power, then it's worth it! Plus we'll be part of a real supervillain cabal! I mean, look at this base! And those soldiers outside! This is the real thing, Jeff! We've made it!"

Über nodded. Though he still obviously had his doubts about the entire deal, it was easy to see that he went where Leet went. It was true even before his best friend turned into a gorgeous girl, so that was some true dedication right there. "Sure, I'm in if you are." He then gasped out in surprise when Leet shot forwards to wrap him around in his arms. "Whoa!"

"Thank you, Jeff. Thank you!"

Über's face was a bit red when his partner pulled back. "Wait, what about our show?"

"Oh shit," Leet looked back to me with a worried expression. With all the excitement of the day it seems as if she had forgotten about her and Über's beloved Youtube channel.

"Don't worry about that," I interrupted the duo before they could get more worried. "I would be remiss to deny your loyal fans more of your adventures. You may still continue your broadcasts, provided that all videos are brought to Mr. Reeves to be appraised. It would not do to have Hydra's secrets to be broadcast out to the masses, now would it?"

"No, that sounds very fair, thanks," Über said.

"This is so awesome!" Leet squealed, all but bouncing up and down on her chair.

"Indeed," I stated, then stood up. Über and Leet did the same, and I handed vial number seven over to the girl half of the duo. "Well then, I would like to welcome you both to Hydra. Mr. Reeves shall show you around after dear Leet here takes her medicine. Know that you two are now part of a vast organization, one that will live and die for one another. You are us and we are you.

"Cut off one head, and two more shall take its place."

Now then. On to "peruse" Sundancer's pics.... hew hew hew.

 

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♦ Topic: Leet turnd into a gril LOL
In: Boards ► Places ► America ► Brockton Bay Discussion ► Capes ► Villains
Packs_lots98 (Original Poster) (Veteran Member)
Posted on April 15th, 2015:

Just when you thought this gy coulnd't get any worst, lol. How the heck did he do it? wus it on purpose?

What a loser!

(Showing page 585 of 586)
► Shotski
Replied on April 23th, 2015:
@ Veteran Cod: Say what you want, that first vid with femme-Leet got like over a million views. The guy's doing something right.

► Veteran Cod
Replied on April 23th, 2015:
@ Shotski: Yeah, but they didn't put ads on that vid so those idiots didn't even make any money off it.

► Bill298558975143577
Replied on April 24th, 2015:
@ Veteran Cod: Seirously? LOL what a loser! No munies for u!!!!1

► Daxterian_of_Venus
Replied on April 26th, 2015:
Girl leet is seriously hot tho. I know I'm gonna be watchin her vids from now on.

► mACHO_SAvAGER
Replied on April 26th, 2015:
@ Daxterian_of_Venus: GAAAAY

*USER HAS RECEIVED AN INFRACTION FOR THIS POST: HATE SPEECH*

► Shotski
Replied on May 15th, 2015:
Whoa. What the hell happened to Uber and Leet's channel? It's all flashy now. Also, what's with the cobra octopus thing?

► Cogson
Replied on May 15th, 2015:
Seriously. Did they get a sponsor or something? Do villains get sponsors?

► Fullfix
Replied on May 15th, 2015:
@Cogson: I don't thin villains get sponsors, at least not legit ones.

► Morgan_F'n_Freeman
Replied on May 15th, 2015:
@Shotski: That is the symbol of this badass new villain organization called HYDRA. They're fucking awesome and badass. I hear their leader is like a super powerful thinker who has a vicious grip upon the Brockton Bay Underworld. Seriously, they're the real deal. Like a super villain Protectorate.

► pitmanstanley
Replied on May 15th, 2011:
@ Morgan_F'n_Freeman: Yeah? If they're so awesome then why haven't I heard of them?

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(Showing page 586 of 586)

► Morgan_F'n_Freeman
Replied on May 15th, 2015:
@ pitmanstanley: I dunno. Maybe because your a shit eating piece of garbage who was abandoned by his parents cuz he had too many birth defects owing tot he fact that his parents were brother and sister whent hey fucked. That's right, you product of incest! Go kill yourself you sad pathetic piece of shit! At least then your corpse will servea purpose feeding the worms instead of just taking up space in your mother-slash-aunt's basement! PS U ARE FAT.

*USER HAS RECEIVED AN INFRACTION FOR THIS POST: REASONS*

► Fullfix
Replied on May 15th, 2015:
@ Morgan_F'n_Freeman: Damn, dude. Chill.

► Don Sexybest
Replied on May 26th, 2015:
HOLY SHIT!!! Did you guys just see uber and Leet's new video? Holy fuck, these guys just shot to the big time! They fucking took down LUNG.

► pitmanstanley
Replied on May 26th, 2015:
Jesus Christ. I didn't know who Hydra was before, but I do NOW.

► Shotski
Replied on May 26th, 2015:
Holy crap. Their video so far has over ten million hits!

► Your Creepy Penpal
Replied on May 26th, 2015:
LOL L33t actually managed to build something that wasn't shit and people are going "OH UBER AND L33T ARE SOOO COOL NOW" Please. They're still loser villains, and they didn't take down lung he escaped. Remember those two douchebags got help from thoe hydra goons, and they had like a freaking army go up against lung this is so bullshit seriously

► XxVoid_CowboyxX
Replied on May 26th, 2015:
@ Your Creepy Penpal: Sure they're villains, but you gotta admit they pulled off something big here. Lung's been the Big Bad Wolf of Brockton Bay for years. Everyone's afraid to take him on. The Empire 88 has ten times the capes the ABB has, and they don't stomp them down simply because of the fact that Lung is that freaking scary. In this city it's pretty much a known fact that if you tangle with Lung, you die. Uber and 1337 taking down Lung is a very big deal. (Though he did escape PRT custody which is really freaking bullshit BTW)

► Morgan_F'n_Freeman
Replied on May 26th, 2015:
HYDRA!!! CUT OFF ONE HEAD AND TWO MORE SHALL TAKE ITS PLACE!!!

*USER HAS RECEIVED AN INFRACTION FOR THIS POST: ALL CAPS*

►Tin_Mother (Moderator)
Replied On May 26th, 2015:
Please take all discussion pertaining to the events that occured in Vanderbergh Heights here.

Thank you.

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