Tribulations of the God-Harem King [Highschool DxD/Exalted] (CLOSED)

You take a deep breath, drawing from the pool of energy inside your spiritual core and suffusing your body with the coalesced power of Solar Essence. You shift seamlessly into the basic form of Solar Hero Style, while your skin becomes harder than tempered steel.

Then Homura is upon you again, and the game can begin in earnest. You counter the girl's offense with an equally aggressive defense, matching her strikes with parries and counters, the last one backed with enough force to fling her away from you. Just as she shifts her weight forward to close the distance you beat her to the punch, blitzing through the tall grass by pumping Dragon Energy into your legs. You spread your arms, ready to wrap her up in a bear hug while she's not focused on defense.

Homura, however, isn't someone who arrived where she is by letting surprise attacks get the better of her. Before you are near enough to execute the clinch she twists her body, stabbing her sword into the ground and then, with phenomenal arm-strength and flexibility uses it as a pivot point and flips her body away from harm. Undaunted by her escape you jump after her with supreme grace, delivering a straight hook with enough strength to break stone.

CLANK!

Homura manages to parry the blow with her sword, one hand wrapped about the hilt and another braced against the flat of the blade. She’s blown away by the force of impact, skidding on the ground in a maddened, ten meter tumble.

"Shit." Despite her trembling hands Homura is smiling. "You hit hard, you bastard!"

"Now, maybe." You slowly walk towards her. "When I started I was just an average guy, so to compensate I pushed myself through hell. I lost count of the times I thought I was gonna die!"

"Oh? ...Heh heh, and here I thought the crazy weight you’ve got seemed familiar!. Another nut reaching for the stars then, how funny!." She closes her left hand, save for the index and middle finger, and brings it to the center of her chest.

"Shinobi Tenshin!"

[I was right! It IS a magical girl transformation!!] Ddraig cries, and you're not sure if it’s in disbelief or glee.

Anime cliché or not, before your eyes a serpent of fire starts appearing from Homura's feet and coils around her. Just as quickly as it came it disappeared, revealing the girl’s new appearance: she is wearing the same clothes of before, with the addition of samurai leg armor on each side, wrist guards and a long black cape with white trim around her neck. On her back are now six sheathed katanas, five identical to the one she's holding and a long nodachi.

Your eyes light up with a golden glow, and you know. "Interesting. You formed an armor made of ambient energy around your body, and it takes the physical form of clothes. As long as it is up it will absorb all blows while also increasing your strength and speed exponentially. Eiko's information on Shinobi was right."

"The kimono girl, right?" Homura's hands slowly come closer to her back. "Mirai said she flew on black wings and used fires. What is she?"

"My familiar, a Yatagarasu."

She manages to stumble while staying still. When she recovers Homura looks at you like you're a crazy loon. "What?"

"The Sun Raven. The [Three-Legged Crow]. The symbol of our national football team." You supply helpfully. "She looks like a human now but her real form is a large crow. A familiar on the other hand is a being that work as an assistant to the contractor. Basically she's my secretary."

"..."

"..."

"...I’ll explain in full after we wrap this up, if you want."

"Yeah." Homura slaps her cheeks to regain concentration. Her battle-lust grin returns full force as she grabs the remaining katanas, sans the longer one, and pulls them out. She now holds three of them in each hand at the same time, each hilt being kept between two fingers.

[That's-!] Ddraig is left speechless.

Your eyebrows join the hairline. "Are you, perhaps, a fan of a certain motor-horse riding One-Eyed Dragon from Oushuu, Y O U S E E ?" You say 'you see?' in English.

She laughs. "I S E E you have good taste in anime. But did you know that the real Date Masamune also used six katanas at the same time to fight? The official chronicles may have neglected to report it, but it was instead documented in the memoires of the great evil ninja Kotaro Fuma!"

Your mind comes to a temporary crash. "...You aren't joking. So what, are the producers of Sengoku Basara ninja too?!"

"It could be." She shrugs. "Or maybe they know one. Honestly, I don’t care." She swings her arms to the side, digging trenches in the ground by air pressure alone, and jumps in the air. “Here I come!”

’...Bright-sensei?’

{What?}

’Is it too much to ask for Boosted Gear to become two spears?’

{Yes. You wouldn’t be able to wield them properly anyway. Now stop fantasizing about pointless things and show the girl who her Master is!}

But. But, your otaku dreams! They’re the most precious thing in your possession after breasts!

Silently weeping at the missed opportunity you meet Homura’s charge head-on.

----

Space is distorted, ripples of light forming in the air. From within that warped snarl springs forth Haruka together with Eiko, Hikage, Yomi and Mirai.

“Here we are.” The busty brunette sighs. “Even for me, entering the Shinobi Kekkai of another is no small feat.”

“Eiko has to ask.” The Yatagarasu says while looking around. “Is your leader always so…impetuous?”

“Not really. Usually she is very professional.” Yomi tells her. “But I noticed she was feeling restless those last days, ever since Mirai’s report.”

“For the record, it’s not my fault.” The black haired girl in question states in a deadpan.

“I heard Homura mumbling ‘I wanna fight a dragon’’, or something.”

They all turn to Hikage, who just shrugs while slowly shaking her head.

“Here!” Eiko points her fan. Following the direction the other find the sight of Homura and Issei fighting, jumping around and clashing repeatedly. Gauntlets meet katanas in a continuous shower of sparks. Energy trails off from them as they move: fire for Homura and golden light for Issei.

“Ara. Hyodo-san is matching a serious Homura-chan? That’s not a sight you see often. Your employer is more skilled than I thought Eiko-chan.”

“Eiko is one hundred and seventeen years old. So please use ‘san’.” Eiko covers her mouth, to hide a mischievous smirk at the sight of the girls’ faces at the last reveal. Even Hikage is looking at her while blinking slowly, and for those that know her it’s truly a massive reaction. She turns back to the fight. “Either way, you and Eiko arrived just in time to see the end.”

“Please.” Mirai scoffs. “They just started. Homura-sempai is not so weak.”

“True. That daughter of Japan has a commendable fiery spirit. But-” Eiko takes out a cellphone and turns the display to the group of shinobi, showing a timer. “-Do you know? Dragging on the fight is the last thing one should do when battling Master.”

01:40

“Because, time is all Master needs.”

----

Anima banner burning brighter than ever you block another claw-swipe before lashing out with a combo of kicks. Both you and Homura didn’t come out unscathed, but where you are bloody your opponent has only her ruined clothes as sign of damage. You’re reminded of a Barrier Jacket from Nanoha. ’Note to self: if possible learn it because this is very useful stuff.’ That you now can see more of Homura’s truly amazing body is just a bonus.

“Say. Not that I am not enjoying the fight, but since I have a lot of things to do today what do you think we wrap this up with my victory?”

“Ah! You think I’ll go down so easily?”

“What, no. But that’s why-”

You bring up an arm to stop a blow, and in doing so reveal that the roman numeral [IX] appeared on the green jewel.

[EXPLOSION!]

The [IX] goes down to [V].

Your Anima expands like a burning supernova, the dragon emerging like a foreboding leviathan from the abyss. With sixteen times the speed you previously possessed you slip inside Homura’s guard and with a well calculated blow send her into the air, destroying almost all of her clothes in the process. You jump after her.

At the apex for a moment your eyes meet, her full of shock and amazement.

“This and so much more, is what dwells in the moonlit world.”

Her gleeful smile is like that of a kid who woke up at Christmas to find a mountain of gifts under the tree.

And then the sky shatters.

“HHHOOOOOYYYYYY-HIC! I SMELL A BRAWL!!”

...Right, Suika.

How could you have forgot?

----

Later you and the girls are back in your meeting hall battered and bruised, courtesy of a certain drunken oni.

“..And that’s why Ibuki-san, please, refrain from destroying more of my house.” You finish the scolding reasonable explanation you gave Ibuki-san as to why she shouldn’t be so destructive.

“Okay.” She nods absentmindedly.

That was fast!

“What’s with that expression?” Indeed, even the girls are looking at her funny. “I will have you know I am a reasonable person.”

“...” General silence.

“Bah!” She throws up her hands. “You’re just like Reimu.” With that she storms off.

Suppressing a sigh you sit down on the couch. Seeing quite a lot of interrogative stares you wave your hand. “In order: she’s a family via a friend; she’s an Oni; there are some supernatural creatures that appear mostly human; yes, before she was just fooling around; yes, she is that strong.”

“This is a madhouse.” Mirai says quite bluntly.

You offer a lopsided smile. “And you haven’t see anything yet.”

You put your hands on your lap, cross your legs and adopt a ‘serious business’ expression. “Now, let’s begin. The various mythologies from all around the world? All the stories, all the legends? They’re, one way or another, mostly true. In the case of the Christian Factions…”

----

In the following hours you give the Crimson Squad (as the girls called their group: Ddraig approved) an accurate report of the Three Christian Factions, as they were their first contact to non-human beings, followed by Japanese threats as youkai. By how they are taking notes with focused attention you feel like a professor teaching a class... and also you’re kind of surprised by their diligence about it. At the end you ask why they’re here instead of bugging their superiors, since they too must belong to a supernatural side or something.


Turns out they don’t have superiors to report to anymore. They explain to you how today’s shinobi are divided into [Good Ninja], who work for the government and must come from a family with a certified record of being [Good Ninja], and [Evil Ninja] that instead work for private corporations and accept whoever is willing in their ranks. You can’t say that the moral implications of ‘private contracting = evil and government work = good’ makes much sense to you since you’re pretty sure governments can be corrupt too… though obviously you don’t just say that. Anyway the girls were all students of an [Evil Ninja] school until they were used in a conspiracy by one of the school’s directors. They defeated the director - who they call an it in their story rather than a he or a she - in the end, but because of their defiance they were forced to become rogue.

Politics - they keep sucking when you hear about them - and doesn’t that tie really well back to the whole ‘How is government work innately [Good]’ thing?

Personal musings on the functionality of shinobi ideology aside, they’re far from done with their tale. Until recently they took missions as independent contractors and managed to make ends meet, but then a seemly easy assassination job that would have only required Mirai turned the way it did - and what few contracts they had dried up pretty much the moment they took it. With the sender having disappeared and future financial prospects looking pretty dire, their only choice was to find and come to you.

{Politics.} Bright sounds thoroughly amused. {Somehow I missed the days of the Deliberative: full of boring squabbles and fools like that impertinent Salina as it was, Solars of all ranks gathered there to decide the future of Creation. Those were days of just rules and valiant righteousness, not these petty, obviously flawed attempts made by misguided mortals.}

[They were probably all corrupt to the core.] A senpai says before the screams of pain make you turn your attention elsewhere. About what you just heard...okay sure, you find the use of terms like [Good] and [Evil] a bit silly, but you aren’t going to say that out loud. Homura, Hikage, Yomi, Mirai and Haruka aren’t bad people, you’re sure of it. Alright, so they’re mercenaries whose job sometimes involve killing people, but ninja are supposed to be like that. Even Naruto made that point and it was like, the least ninja ninja comic. You may not like it, but ranting would get you nowhere. Actions are needed, actions that produce results. And before that, you need to isolate the root of the problem.

Which you can’t do now because of many more urgent problems. Although...uhm, didn’t you once considering hiring ninja?

“This may come out of the blue.” You begin slowly, one hand on your chin as if considering something very carefully. “But would you like to work for me?”

“Eh?” Mirai looks skeptical. “What do you need ninja for? Are you secretly the heir to a big financial empire?” Oddly enough Yomi perks up at that, eyes fixating on yours.

“Nope: middle class since the times of my great-great-grandfather.” You shrug. “But because of a series of strange coincidences I recently became the head of a… um… well, Youkai-type, Yakuza-style kind of… society.”

Those stares! Noooooo, not the dreaded joint jiii again! Groaning you proceed to tell them how in the Moonlit World you too are an independent force that take jobs from different parties. Not just for money, you explain: because of your power as Sekiryuutei you are coveted by many but refuse to tie yourself to a single side permanently, so you have to juggle various favors. For now you kept your head down, but the recent events greatly increased your popularity. Coupled with the fact that there are people that rely on you, and they should be able to see how you are in serious need of more allies. It doesn’t hurt that a ninja’s stealth covers one of your lacking areas.

“...And that’s the gist of it.” You end with a shrug. “What do you think?”

“...One moment.” Homura says before her and the others huddle in a corner of the room to deliberate.

You manage to catch more than a few whispered words:

“-job’s a job?”

“It sounds suspicious to-”

“-ah, because the last one was just as normal as it sounded hu-”

“And we didn’t get paid. Oh, we are also out of money.”

“Why didn’t you say it earlier? Wait, is that why recently we only ate Yomi’s bean sprouts?”

“Do you have something against bean sprouts?!”

Okay, so towards the end they were more like barely suppressed shouts.

“Sorry for the wait.” In that moment Eiko enters, carrying a tray in each hand: in one there are three cups of tea and one of milk, while in the other...is a Moyashi Salad?

Yomi practically jumps up to catch the bowl with the salad, while the others get their orders in a more relaxed manner. ‘She must really like bean sprouts,’ you think with mild amusement as the blonde takes each bite almost religiously, her face a mask of pure happiness.

Then she catches your gaze, ponders about something for a few seconds and slightly leans the bowl towards you. “Do you want some?”

For some strange reason the other ninja stops and stares at the scene with...shock? Either way, it would be impolite to refuse. “Sure.” You grab another pair of chopsticks and take a bite, pleasantly surprise at the divine taste.

“Do you like bean sprouts?”

“Yes. They’re delicious.” Who knew Eiko can cook so well? Maybe you should have her give lessons to Asia.

The others, minus Hikage, start groaning. Yomi’s eyes light up like a Christmas’ tree. “Hyodo-san! Without doubt, you are truly a good person!” She shouts quite loudly.

Uh. What just happened?

After the quick break and all the participants have calmed down, Homura assumes the role of spokesperson. “We may be...interested in your offer. Not that we are desperate-”

“We are.” Hikage says with indifference.

Homura continues as if she didn’t hear her. “However, our services don’t come cheap.”

“Reasonable.” You nod. “Luckily I happen to have cash saved up from a previous job.”

“Let me reiterate: this is not something that normal people can afford.”

“Yeah yeah, I got it: so would fifty million yen cover it?”

“But, as an exceptional offer I am willing to offer you a dis-” She stops in mid sentence, as if someone hit the ‘stop’ button of reality.

“50 MILLION YEN?!?” Mirai shows that, despite her small frame, she has an impressive set of lungs. “How the fuck did you earn that much?”

“...Basically a really cra... really eccentric Fallen Angel is suuuuper interested in the kinds of power my dragon-ness gets classified under. And since naturally dragons are awesome and rare and stuff, he was way interested in what he could figure out about me... so he offered to pay me to do some, uh, ‘tests’.” You roll your eyes. “I even thought he wasn’t serious about the payment. Honestly, folks with too much time and money...” You can’t help but shrug and sigh at the absurdity of it all, and your sigh ends up being one that Yomi mirrors wholeheartedly.

“Ara ara! It covers the bill quite splendidly, and for a long time.” Haruka claps her hands. “I’m sure this contract will be a pleasure, Hyodo-san.”

“I don’t believe you.” Homura, having recovered, says flatly. “What kind of testing would entail paying the subject such a large amount?”

Your eyes lose focus. Wordlessly you stand up, walk outside the room and return a few minutes later with a large pile of DVDs, which you put on the table. “He sent those to me after the end. It’s a complete record of my personal hell. Interested?”

----

“And now, for the next part of the test!”

“AGAIN TIGERS? NOT JUST THAT, BUT ARMORED, LASER-MOUNTED TIGERS?! WHAT IS WITH YOU AND TIGERS??!”

“Stop being so speciest, tigers are perfectly acceptable examples of the feline fami-.”

“THAT’S NOT THE POOOOOOIIIIIINNNNT!!!”

*BOOM* *BOOM* *CRASH*

Homura and the rest of the Crimson Squad stare at the screen with rapt fascination and horrified awe, as scenes of pure carnage and torture continue unabated. Even Hikage.

Slowly, very slowly Mirai’s head turns around to stare at you. “How are you still alive?”

“A friend of mine has a healing power.” You offer her a dry smile. “Prreeeetty sure I would be dead otherwise though, yeah. ...Or maybe it wasn’t that bad and I’m sort of imagining it: I wasn't thinking straight most of the time thanks to the repeated head trauma. Who knows?”

Suddenly Homura stands up and bows to you with a totally awesome jiggle. “I’m sorry for doubting you.”

You wave her concerns off. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m the first to admit it’s pretty unbelievable without proof.”

“Also!” When she looks up you can see fire in her eyes. “I want to do the same training! Please introduce me to the same sensei!”

‘That’s an absolutely bad idea, I love it!’

[Ten on one she will run away crying the second day!]

’You lot aren’t helping either!’

“I...will see what I can do.” Let’s hope Azazel is far, far away at the moment. Having said that you turn to Eiko. “I just remembered: the money, I gave it to you to administer.”

“Ai. Eiko invested in Yamato’s current financial market. Profits are expected in a month.”

“That’s good.”

“Also, Eiko used a considerable part of the remaining to finance the construction of Master’s new residence.”

“...My what?”

----

You stare at the building site in shock. “There was a park here.”

“Indeed.” Eiko’s smile doesn’t contain a ounce of shame. “Following Bright-sensei’s project, Eiko made sure that a new residence appropriate to your new elevated status as First Head would be built.”

’I thought it was just a statue or a small temple!? Bright!

[She went inside her laboratory.]

’BRIGHTTTTTTT!!!’

“Oh, it’s Hyodo-dono! What a pleasure to have you visit.” An one-eyed, four armed youkai in worker’s clothes greets you after entering. “And Eiko-dono too. The work is coming up nicely, but of course we just started.”

Around the entire premise are many youkai of all sizes and forms, working tirelessly like normal human labourers. The girls are watching them with open fascination, although Mirai bristles when a giant mouth with many arms passes near her carrying a log.

The youkai begins to point in turn at various part of the construction. “The end result will be a magnificent compound, similar to the Nura House, capable of housing many people.”

That’s too much!

“There we will put the training room complete with all necessary items.”

That’s too much!

“There the completely automated kitchen.”

That’s...still too much!

“There the onsen.”

That’s-Did he said an onsen?!

“The workshop.”

...You always wanted your own workshop.

“And finally the Wyld Revocation Room: I have no idea how it works, but it’s suppose to make time go faster inside it.”

You get your own hyperbaric time chamber oh my god!

“SOLD!!!”

----

When Rias comes home, and finds you greeting her with a cup of tea in hand, she facepalms. “Ise, you came back yesterday.”

Asia pats her back in encouragement. Mittelt just keeps walking inside without a care.

----

“And where are they now?” Rias asks after calming down and hearing the recap of what happened in her absence.

“Since there aren’t any more free rooms I gave them advance money to pay the hotel where they’re currently staying. When the new house is ready they’ll transfer there - plenty of room, and all. I was thinking to introduce them properly to everyone this evening.”

Strangely Rias looks relieved at the news. She adopts a thinking pose and begins counting off her fingers. “A Fallen Angel, which doesn’t look fallen anymore; an ex-nun with a Sacred Gear that can heal anyone; the users of two of the Magnus, who are a legend just one step below the Longinus; a Yatagarasu; an extremely talented human who would make an excellent Rook or Knight; and now genuine ninja. And oh yes, you have connections to Devils, Fallen Angels, the Shinto Pantheon and the local Youkai community.” You expected a reprimand, but instead the crimson-haired beauty gifts you with an amused smile. “Why Ise, one would almost think you’re building your own Faction.”

...Huh, when she puts it like that - but still!

“Please. I just keep running into people with problems that feel like sticking around when I help them - weird, but you know, whatever: they can do their own thing.. Although…” You put a hand on your chin. “Hyodo Faction has a nice ring to it.”

“Who do you think you are, Kamijou Touma?”

At that you both share a good laugh. “Changing topic-” Rias continues. “What do you intend to do with Lord Phenex’s invitation?”

“To tell you the truth, I’m not sure.” Your eyebrows furrow. “Apart from that, ah... meeting with Raiser I don’t really know anything about them. What do you think I should do?”

“I think you should accept. Lord Phenex is an old friend of my father, so I met him at some parties: contrary to Raiser his father and older brothers are pleasant people. I think I wouldn’t have minded much if it was one of the former.” She sighs with a somewhat embarrassed smile. “So I don’t think they have any unsavory intention. Plus, lacking a reason to distrust them it would be rude to refuse their invitation. If you want I can set a transportation magic-circle for the Underworld even tomorrow.”

You think about it for a while, but it’s not exactly hard to reach a decision. “Let’s do it then. In a situation like this procrastination would do me no good.”

“I read the missive, and it says you can bring as many guests as you want. So I suggest you bring your own people. I will bring my peerage along.”

So a show of force? By how she said that, it’s something expected.

“U-Uhm…” Asia’s head peeks from the entrance. “Ise-san, Rias-sempai? We have a guest-”

Sona storms into the room past Asia, eyes behind the glasses alight with some strange emotion that is dangerously close to killing instinct. “Tell me why I’m hearing about your name in criminal circles Hyodo, TELL ME NOW.”

----

With Rias calming her friend down - for a frigid given value of ‘calm’ - you fess up on all the admittedly outlandish stuff you’ve been getting up to to the one with the power to make your school life hell on earth.

There were a couple of spittakes and heated glares - okay more than a few - but she paled and seemed to deflate when Rias whispered something in her ear after you told her how the previous youkai lord of the area met his demise.

At the end she reminded you that Kuoh Academy is before anything a school, and thus during lesson times only students and teachers are allowed there. Basically a subtle reminder that during the day it’s her rules that count, and she wants all supernatural related matters out so that people can have a proper school life. That seems pretty fair to you - and even useful if you think about it. Lets school stay a certain kind of… uncomplicated? It’s not really the right term but it’s close enough.

You also told her of Rikuo’s friends, and how they want to come on a trip to investigate the urban legend of the [Golden Dragon]. Turns out she had already heard the name before - and if you’re reading between her words right, the fact that there even ARE rumors about that are part and parcel of why she’s miffed with you. As if she wasn’t already mad, she looked even more peeved at the mentioned request, but she conceded on one condition: that you do something for her.

Which seems fair, right? Right.

“There have been rumors about a foreign girl going around harassing some of the shops and cafes in the area, as well as just generally being violent. I don’t know why but most of the students talking about the rumors assume she’s from Kuoh, even if she’s not wearing the uniform. It’s not doing the school’s reputation any favors, having people assume the local gossip on violent activity is our own student’s doing. Find her and make her stop, and I will allow this…[Kiyojuji Paranormal Investigation Squad] to come and visit Kuoh.”

“I will do it.” You reply, accepting her conditions.

“See that you do.” She stands up and walks away. “Goodbye Rias. I hope I will not need to get here again.”

Rias looks like she wants to say something, but instead just replies: “Goodbye Sona.”

“That’s all I think.” You clap your hands after she left. “Now all that’s left is preparing for the others’ arrival and asking who want to-”

That’s when the sound of metal clashing again metal starts coming from the ground floor. “Shit! We’re under attack?” You and Rias hurry below.

Only to stop and stare,both of your jaws hitting the floor.

“...Hello.” Kosaka Shigure greets in her usual monotone and one of the laziest waves you’ve ever seen.

Your dining hall is a mess, walls pockmarked with heavy slashes, bullet holes and burns that look suspiciously like chemical acid. Shigure-san’s signature sword is interlocked between Homura’s six katanas, the latter trying with no avail to move them. In her other hand she hefts an iron fan that blurs through the air as she defends from both Yomi’s greatsword and Hikage’s knife attacks at the same time, each movement diverting the path of one weapon against the other. She is standing on only one leg, the other holding Mirai in a chokehold. A shibari-style tied Haruka is hung upside down from the ceiling by a chain.

Oh, and all of them have their clothes in various state of disrepair, showing a copious amount of supple flesh and delicious underwear - it’s great!

Mittelt is on the ground, laughing her ass off. Asia is shaking her, telling her to help stop the fight.

Eiko is nowhere to be seen.

As if on cue Shougo steps into view. He takes notice of the scene. “...Nope.” Without another word or any further reaction he turns away and walks into another room - he never looks back.

Ruby and Yang breeze through the door right after him - and goggle at the madness. “Cool! Can we join?” The blonde asks with eagerness, her sister’s eyes sparkling at the sight of the weapons on display.

“I freaking love this place!” The smile on Homura’s face is all kinds of disturbing.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!] Ddraig’s howling laughters are drowning out all other sounds from your mindscape.

That’s when you finally snap.

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!”

----

“So, let’s see if I got this right.” You begin with an even tone. It takes every ounce of willpower to stop you from shaking in irritation. “You, Kosaka-san, came to see me. When you arrived you did what you always do when returning to the dojo, which involves not using the front door but instead sneaking through my house so you could, if possible, surprise me by literally dropping in?”

Shigure nods. You are totally sure she missed the sarcasm in your words. Does she even know what it is?

“While you-” You turn to the shinobi, seated next to Shigure on the couch. “Arrived there at the same time, assumed Kosaka-san was an enemy ninja infiltrating the place and attacked her?”

They nod without saying a sword. It seems like they are still shaken by how easily Shigure was able to match all of them at the same time.

“Alright. This...This was just a misunderstanding. Thank God nobody got hurt. Apart from my dining hall.” You are pleased at the sight of them wincing.

Dismissing the others, you relax and sit down on the free couch. “Putting all that aside, to what do I own the pleasure of your visit Kosaka-san? Is something wrong with Honoka-chan?”

She shakes her head, eyes still doing a perfect dead-fish impression. Seriously, does she do expressions?. “I...need your help.”

“For what?”

“I...collect weapons.” She begins slowly. “Weapons made by…” You see a flicker of emotion in her eyes, but it’s too brief to identify. “A certain swordsmith. Take them from people using them...for killing.” Ah, that made sense. “But they aren’t...the only ones. There is this...sword. A magical… relic. I know it’s… near, but not where. Owners… Moonlit. Magic… you can sense it, right? Help… locate?”

Uhm, that wasn’t what you were expecting, but it isn’t unwelcome. “I would love to, but I’m already way busy with bunches of crazy stuff. Is this urgent?”

Again she shakes her head. “Mission… old. Keep trying, but….. Sometimes feel like it’s close… then not. Feels close now… and far. That’s why...difficult. Slip away again… don’t want that.”

It’s not pressing, but… also not not pressing, kind of. If you’re hearing her right, it’s like chasing a butterfly that keeps darting away - she feels close now… but she’s felt close before and it’s never worked out. Definitely seems like the right kind of time to ask for help, but… is now the time to give that help? You’d ask for clarity, but you think that might be the most you’ve heard Shigure say… ever, actually. You don’t think you’ll push it - you’ve got a bit too much respect for her absurd arsenal to want to go down that route..

Still...

’What to do, what to do...’ You like the members of Ryouzanpaku a lot, so refusing them a favour would leave a bad taste in your mouth. Except there is also the Phenex matter. ...Well, that’s something that you can’t do right right now, Rias said the teleport sigil would take a bit to set up… but would it really be that easy to help Shigure? You think it would be, you CAN sense stuff she flat out can’t… but she’s also one of the Ryozanpaku masters, and thinking you can just waltz in and solve something she’s been floundering with… that’s pretty outrageously bold. On the other hand you ARE an Exalt so...

Hm… it’d probably be rude if you take forever to show up after Rias gets the portal connected, so getting bogged down with this job would be bad - but it could be done pretty fast. A gamble, basically.

You picture a hard-boiled American Detective in your mind, and you hear an iconic click as a .44 Magnum cocks. Do you feel lucky, punk?

...Just like that the idea of going on the job got SO MUCH COOLER.

[] Wait for teleport/turn down job for now
[] Go with Shigure and see if the job can be done quick

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This was a MASSIVE update to write.