Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

Peeping on males?

Now THAT is perverse. Jiraiya cannot condone it.

 

Don't read this, it's a tasteless joke, and I shouldn't have said it.

Well, we could peep on both genders. It gives us the opportunity to look down on Jiriaya as a "lesser pervert".

I honestly can't think of anything that would drive him up the wall more than an eight year old informing him he's not doing it right, and giving a convincing argument as to why not.

 

This..A million times this..

 

I think an eight year old telling him he's not peeping right or appreciating both genders is more creepy than anything else.

Child. Not even past puberty.

 

Eh, true. Let's forget I said anything.

 

[X] And don't forget to smile~

Holy crap, no wonder Mom said this place was too expensive, this bath is like a waterpark but with extra heating. She isn't anywhere in this section, and you have no idea how to find her - hell, how are you supposed to tell she's even here?

Frustrated, you decide to work on the other mystery here for a little while.

No one pays much attention as you run your hand lazily along the wall, coming to a stop at the exact spot you know the strong guy is hiding.

And surprise surprise, there's a hole in the wall.

You peer through.

A dark eye blinks back at you.

[X] *poke!*

[X] "Yo, what's up?"

[X] ._.; "Y'know, you could just henge into a lady and come over here if you're that desperate to see boobs."

[X] "Dude. Don't peep on my Mom. She will end you." You're only half kidding; you don't fully understand the workings of momkra yet, but you wouldn't rule out the possibility of it producing an instakill technique or two.

 

[X] "Yo, what's up?"

 

[X] "Yo, what's up?"

 

[X] "Dude. Don't peep on my Mom. She will end you." You're only half kidding; you don't fully understand the workings of momkra yet, but you wouldn't rule out the possibility of it producing an instakill technique or two.

 

[X] *poke!*

Now Jiraiya is Kakashi

 

[X] ... Come here often?

 

[X] ._.; "Y'know, you could just henge into a lady and come over here if you're that desperate to see boobs."


xD This. A million times this. Its SO out of context that whoever it is is going to WTF? hardcore.

 

[X] "Yo, what's up?"

 

[X] ._.; "Y'know, you could just henge into a lady and come over here if you're that desperate to see boobs."

 

[X] ._.; "Y'know, you could just henge into a lady and come over here if you're that desperate to see boobs."

 

[X] "Yo, what's up?"

 

[X] ._.; "Y'know, you could just henge into a lady and come over here if you're that desperate to see boobs."

 

[X] ._.' "Y'know, you could just henge into a lady and come over here if you're that desperate to see boobs."

 

[X] "Yo, what's up?"

 

[1] *poke!*

[5] "Yo, what's up?" + "... Come here often?"

[5] ._.; "Y'know, you could just henge into a lady and come over here if you're that desperate to see boobs."

[1] "Dude. Don't peep on my Mom. She will end you." You're only half kidding; you don't fully understand the workings of momkra yet, but you wouldn't rule out the possibility of it producing an instakill technique or two.

 

Changing to
[X] ._.; "Y'know, you could just henge into a lady and come over here if you're that desperate to see boobs."

 

[X] ._.; "Y'know, you could just henge into a lady and come over here if you're that desperate to see boobs."

 

[X] "Yo, what's up?" + "... Come here often?"

 

[X] ._.; "Y'know, you could just henge into a lady and come over here if you're that desperate to see boobs."

There is an abrupt jangle in the guy's chakra signature and the eye disappears from the hole. Before you can so much as react, there's the bizarre staticky sound you associate with a shunshin, someone's grabbed you and stuck a hand over your mouth, and you're on the other side of the barrier.

"Shh! Yamanaka Ino, right?" While you struggle, the voice continues. "I'm on an A-ranked mission to- ow!"

You leap away. "Bullshit this is an A-rank," you say in a whisper. "If it were you'd've just knocked me unconscious and gone back to work. You're just trying to get a look at those ladies' goods!"

The old boy looks rather nervous at this. "Ah, maybe you're a little young to be talking about-"

"And I want to know why you aren't just henge'd and in there," you continue. "It's not like there aren't S-ranked kunoichi, no one'd look twice except a sensor."

His eyes bug. "... um...?"

"What? What's the matter?"

"... why aren't you screaming for help?"

"... should I?" Now that everything's settled down, you can hear that he isn't hostile; just a little jumpy.

"No!" he says immediately, palms up defensively.

Oh, you get it. He's worried about Onnarashii Houfuku no Jutsu, the infamous nintaijutsu technique that subverts reality to allow women to punch ridiculously far above their weight class.

Well. This puts you in an eminent bargaining position.

"Oh, I don't know," you say with a small grin, "I think it sounds like rather a good idea, personally; I've never seen a bunch of civilian women beat up a Kage-level shinobi before."

"It's not very interesting to see, trust me, you're not missing anything," he says frantically.

"Who are you?" you ask. He looks familiar, but as you're the only Academy student who owns an (out-of-date) Bingo Book, all that means is that he's probably as big a deal as he sounds. "How do you know who I am?"

"... I'm Santa Claus!"

XD "Liar."

-_- "Worth a shot."

You cross your arms. "C'mon, tell me. Or I'll let the girls on the other side of that wall decide who you are."

"Fine, then. Prepare yourself, Yamanaka Ino, for I am..." He poses dramatically, hand splayed, head rolling on his neck, and stomps a foot. "Mt Myoboku-gama's holy master sennin, the Toad Sage! Jiraiya of the Sannin!"



[X] "Are you for real?" Seriously? Kabuki in this day and age? -_-;

[X] "Mm. Pleased t'meetcha." Foolish onceborn. Ham has no effect on you!

[X] :3 "Huh. A toad summoner? What're the odds? I'm under consideration for a summoning contract myself."

[X] "Oh, that explains it. I've always wondered, does visiting a hot spring count as a business expense when you're a pornographer?"

 

[X] "Oh, that explains it. I've always wondered, does visiting a hot spring count as a business expense when you're a pornographer?"

This is beautiful, you are great FurikoMaru. This is good an you should feel good.

 

[X] "Oh, that explains it. I've always wondered, does visiting a hot spring count as a business expense when you're a pornographer?"

LET THE TROLL FLOW THROUGH YOUR VEINS LIKE BLOOD~

 

[X] "Oh, that explains it. I've always wondered, does visiting a hot spring count as a business expense when you're a pornographer?"

yes.

 

[X] "Oh, that explains it. I've always wondered, does visiting a hot spring count as a business expense when you're a pornographer?"

 

XD And thus continues Ino's streak of being the most disturbing little girl in the Naruto world.

I love me some Jiraiya, but it's so easy to fuck with his head I couldn't resist a troll option.

 

[X] "Oh, that explains it. I've always wondered, does visiting a hot spring count as a business expense when you're a pornographer?"