One Hell of a Party

[Legend of the Kyuubi]

Please be aware that I have created a Patron page which I am doing because unfortunately times are tough and I need to make ends meet and help a family member who recently lost their job and has not been able to find anything in the last four months. My original stories, former stories, one shots and story ideas are all there as well.

I will be posting on Ao3, too, same author's name, but it may be slow as their set up's a bit clunky. Currently my Patron page has the Stay of Execution 1 to 9 (with another coming in a week or two), Three chapters of Sailor Moon (newest chapter is up), and 13 Harry Potter and the Power of the Gamer (12 to 13 are new), Nidaime has six chapters there presently ranging from 8k to 11k words, Naruto Gamer 1 to 23 (three latest chapters are there), my original stories (non-Fanfiction which is a dark isekai)

I will be posting a minimum 3-5 chapters a month there (some story chapters may take longer due to their length). For some reason, since doing that, I've been able to dish out chapters more quickly and I'm more motivated then I've ever been in years. Don't know if it's because of payment or because Fanfiction has been disappointing me for a very long time now and Archive is a jumbled mess that doesn't really allow me to see my stats but I've already completed 9 chapters already.

Also, I have art there for my stories to provide a better idea of gear, people, and places for greater visual.

This is a work of Fan fiction. All of the original characters, organizations, techniques, and events portrayed in this fictional literature are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictionally. Though the majority of the events and most characters take place in and are a part of Vox Machina.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Legends of Vox Machina, Dungeons and Dragons, Critical Role or any other manga or stories. I do have ownership of the techniques, the originality of this plot, the story I created and some others things in this story. But the elements from manga, campaigns, dnd, etc I do not own.

Jutsu, Japanese translation: Futon: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)

Normal speech: You guys are nuts! I like it.

Demon/Summon or Fusion speech: Oh, Gods, make it st-Pft, oh, who am I kidding?

Human Thinking: Note to self: Prank the gnome!

Demon/Summon: If that tiny shit bothers me just one more gods-damned time!

Summary: Vox Machina wasn't what many would consider to be the classic, normal, adventuring party. Add in a lost ninja who also doesn't fit the norm to the mix? Well, you've got yourself a party with a lot of quirks and problems. And yet, in the years to come, they'll be remembered as one of the greatest adventurers in Exandria. Besides, in life, sometimes you just gotta roll with the dice.

Prologue/Pilot

"Hey, Ero-sennin," Naruto ignored the man's grousing from the nickname, "Where are we going? Better not be another brothel."

Jiraiya snorted, "Jealous the ladies weren't paying attention to you instead of me, brat?"

"Hardly. I don't need to pay women to get their attention."

Cheeky fourteen-year-old little shit, "No. You pull pranks that piss them off instead. So like your mother."

"…What?" Naruto couldn't believe what he heard.

Jiraiya, however, froze upon realizing his fuck up.

"You-you knew my mother?"

Much as he'd like to deny it, experience told him time and time again when to fake it and when to fold. Either way, Tsunade was gonna kill him when she learned. Or just make him wished she killed him, "Yeah, I knew her."

Naruto breathed in to try, and failing, to calm himself before asking the next question, "How long?"

Now that was information he couldn't give out just yet, "Listen, kid-"

"HOW LONG!"

Jiraiya didn't even blink at the outburst. This wasn't his first time dealing with a rowdy and emotional genin. However, it was the first with a jinchūriki, and said jinchūriki was his godson, and Jiraiya couldn't deny he had a lot to make up for.

Sure, much of why he wasn't around while Naruto grew up was due to his role as Konoha's spymaster, which wasn't exactly an easy or stationary job - it was extremely demanding! - coupled with new and powerful threats popping out of the woodwork shortly after his birth. Having said that, to his shame, Jiraiya couldn't deny it wasn't the only reason he stayed away. Seeing the sun starting to set, and while he normally would have them travel a little longer, Jiraiya decided it was time to settle in for the night given everything.

"We'll set up camp for tonight, then we'll talk. It'll give me time to make sure no one else hears this, kid. Agreed?" Naruto frowned but nodded; he'd hold the man to that.

A little over an hour later, Naruto sat alone by the fire while Jiraiya ensured they wouldn't be expecting any unwanted surprises in the night, or be overheard.

"Alright, the seals are up," Naruto watched as the Sannin came back to camp.

The blond frowned. He didn't know how these seals worked but the simplified explanation he'd previously been given was it made the area they were in blind in with the forest and on the off chance anyone was looking or coming their way they would just find themselves be subtly influenced to go elsewhere. Jiraiya sat down and silenced reigned for a good minute before he began.

"Kid, what I'm about to tell you can't be repeated. Let me finish before you say anything," the man stopped whatever protests his godson had, "Your mother's name was Kushina. Uzumaki Kushina to be precise. And damn if you don't remind me alot of her. Not in looks, mind you but in attitude and fighting style."

"Why didn't you tell me about her before?" Naruto couldn't help himself.

Jiraiya sighed but expected the question all the same, "Believe me, kid, there was a good reason. Not just because Kushina made quite a few enemies during her time but because her chakra was special."

"Special?"

"Special. Kushina possessed unique chakra not that much different from Senju Hashirama's Mokuton and others knew about it. Sarutobi-sensei and the higher ups were concerned you might be in the same boat when you were born and to ensure your safety they covered up your relationship with her when she died. And for good reason, as a genin she was almost taken for it."

"I don't get it. What's so special about that?"

Jiraiya wasn't surprised Naruto didn't know. Hopeful, yes, but it was clear to him his godson didn't all that much attention in class, "Her chakra could suppress a Biju's power. Weaken them and make them easier to deal with. To control. A power like that is game-changing. Senju Hashirama's mokuton allowed him to subdue and capture eight of the nine tailed beasts during his time, and the few who remember that believed your mother's special chakra could allow her to do the same. Kumo especially believed it would allow them to find and capture the most powerful and elusive of them. The only one Hashirama never managed to get his hands on."

Naruto didn't need to have a genius IQ to understand, "The Kyubi."

"Yeah. That unique chakra of hers, coupled with her lineage, painted a pretty huge target on her back. Her clan, and, yeah, there was an Uzumaki Clan at one point, were a pretty big deal despite being isolationists. "

The knowledge that he had a clan threw him for a loop, and in typical Naruto fashion, "Ha! In yer face, Sasuke-teme! I've got a ninja clan!"

Jiraiya chuckled at the enthusiasm, but hated bringing up a dose of reality, "Had a clan, kid. Something you and the Uchiha have in common."

"Huh?"

"The Uzumaki Clan was wiped out during the Second Shinobi World War. They were incredibly skilled, famed even, when it came to sealing techniques. They were pretty much unmatched in the art. Coupled with their immense vitality they were quite the threat, especially when they were not only an ally of Konoha but distantly related to the Senju Clan."

"Tsunade-baachan's clan? We're related?"

"Distantly. Not all that different from the Uchiha and Hyuga clans also being distantly related. Anyway, the Uzumaki Clan were seen as a threat and ultimately wiped out. Those who remained scattered all over and most went into hiding. Your mother, I believe, was visiting family in Konoha at the time before they passed and she was one of the lucky few who happened to be away from Uzushio when it was attacked. It was a massacre. They went down swinging and gave as good as they got, but they went down all the same. Since then, barely even a handful of the clan remains and your mother held a grudge against Sarutobi-sensei for the longest time."

"She did? But, but Sarutobi-jiisan was amazing! He'd have helped our clan without thinking about it!"

"You're right and normally he would. But as much as Sarutobi-sensei wanted to help Konoha's allies, Konoha was facing its own share of problems. The Second Shinobi World War just started and many of our territories closer to home were being targeted. Northeast of us was Kumo, and Kiri to the east and both those two occupied a good portion of Hi no Kuni's eastern and southern border at the time and Uzushio was located many miles off our eastern coast. Sarutobi-sensei believed Uzushio's location coupled with their difficult terrain was enough to deter anyone from doing anything. Uzushio wasn't exactly somewhere you could easily walk to and the clans that resided there weren't pushovers. Unfortunately, unknown to the old man, Uzushio had just come out of a civil war and was still recouping from the losses. By the time he did learn, both Kumo and Kiri had already learned themselves and took advantage of it. You can imagine what happened next," Jiraiya still remembered Sarutobi saying that if the civil war hadn't taken place then there was a good chance Uzushio would still be standing by the time Konoha came to their aid.

Or at the very least, many of Uzushio's clans, like the more prominent Uzumaki Clan, wouldn't have perished as badly as they did.

"Civil war?" Naruto muttered.

"Don't ask, kid. Sarutobi-sensei didn't fill me in on the details because even he didn't know why or how it happened in the first place. It was just rotten timing and luck," and in this world that's all that was needed to win, "But your mother didn't see it that way and for the longest time she wasn't Sarutobi-sensei's biggest fan. Kushina felt like he didn't deserve to be Hokage because of it and when she attended the academy she proclaimed she'd be the first female Hokage and take his spot."

Naruto smiled at that. Despite never meeting her, knowing they both shared the same desire to be Hokage made him feel closer to her, "She must have been really something. She probably wiped the floor with everyone."

"Pft! I'll say she wiped the floor with everyone."

"So, mom was gifted then?" Naruto wondered how she'd feel given his lack of talent.

"Gifted?! Ha! She was terrible! Despite her boasts, she was pants at everything except fuinjutsu and couldn't do anything right. And if you pissed her off by telling her that, she wasn't afraid to bloody her fists, the only other thing she was good at. The amount of times that woman's temper got her in trouble would make your head spin. But it's what you'd expect from the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero."

Naruto grinned and chuckled lightly. He was happy to know he had more in common with his mother than previously thought.

"But when she wasn't causing problems she was quick witted and by the time she made Jonin she was well known for her unique ninjutsu style. And her brass knuckles. Good God that woman broke so many bones and knocked out so many teeth with those things, especially when angry. Oh, the horror stories I could tell. It's a wonder she managed to settle down and have you in the first place."

"So, she got strong."

"Oh, yeah. A late bloomer she was in many areas. She was no Kage level kunoichi like me or anywhere close to Sarutobi-sensei or Minato but damn if she couldn't give us a run for our money," Jiraiya knew he, Minato and Sarutobi-sensei would win, but Kushina wouldn't have made it easy, and Jiraiya doubted he'd have come out without some decent injuries. With his speed and his prodigious talent and youth, Minato would be the only one to end up with the fewest injuries, "A few more years of intense training and refinement and she could have crossed into the Kage threshold. It was the initial plan, or one of them at least, but that got put aside when she found out she was pregnant with you."

Which brought up Naruto's other question, "You know a lot about her, Ero-sennin…What about my dad?"

Jiraiya shook his head, this was one thing he couldn't tell just yet, "Sorry, kid. I know some things I know about her from the occasional interaction. I was focused more on my own genin team and then Minato when he became my apprentice. Other stuff about her I only knew of because she was Biwako's genin. And when it came to your mother, oh, boy could Biwako vent."

"Who?" Naruto was unfamiliar with the name Biwako.

"Sarutobi Biwako. Sarutobi-sensei' wife. Late wife, actually. Not surprised you don't know about her. She was just one of many who died the night you were born. The old man took her death pretty hard and didn't really like talking about her so out of respect for him she wasn't really brought up. Even for the strongest of us some wounds are just too much."

"So, there's no one around who could tell me about her?" Naruto was hopefully that wasn't the case.

Unfortunately, Jiraiya nodded and dashed those hopes, "Regrettably, kid. Except for myself and Tsunade-hime, those who were closest to your mother or knew about her are long gone."

Naruto laughed a mirthless laugh, "So, I'm all alone. No family. No clan. No home."

"Not true. You have Konoha. You've got friends. Me, Tsunade-hime," when that failed to cheer him up Jiraiya decided to something else, "Hah. Look, kid, this wasn't part of the plan but if you want we could make a detour to Uzushio," it was only by chance that they were half a day away from the eastern shore of Hi no Kuni.

Naruto's head rose quickly at the proposition, "I thought you said it was destroyed?"

"It is. All that's left are rubble and whirlpools, but it would give an idea of how your clan lived. They were in charge of all of Uzu no Kuni from the capital village Uzushiogakure."

"I'm royalty? Ow!" Naruto winced from the smack.

"Don't get a bloated head, brat. Despite its name, Uzu no Kuni was more of a random assortment of islands, an archipelago, and it was quite small compared to the other countries. The Uzumaki Clan was chosen to lead because Uzushiogakure was located on the Uzumaki Clan's ancestral island, the largest and most secure of the islands there. Made sense they were picked," and the fact that like the Senju, Uchiha, and Hyuga they were one of the rare few longest surviving clans to come out of the Era of Warring States, a period of war predating hidden villages where shinobi clans fought, and fell, for nearly two thousand years.

"So, what are we waiting for?" Naruto was ready to go.

"For one, it's nighttime. And most importantly, despite Uzushio not being inhabited anymore, it isn't exactly a place you go on a whim, or without a good night's rest. The currents there are still pretty brutal, and the whirlpools are large and powerful. When the clans were still there, it was even more dangerous. Fortunately, for you, Jiraiya the Gallant happens to know a way to get there."

"If it involves the toads–Wait a minute. Did you just refer to yourself in the third person?"

"No, not the toads. Salt water doesn't agree with them. But you already know that. Eh, brat?" Jiraiya's knowing smirk embarrassed his godson.

"You heard about that?" was the pink-cheeked blond's reply.

"Bunta wouldn't stop bitchin' about it for weeks. You're lucky he didn't swallow you and spit you out a mile away."

"He wouldn't really do that…would he?" sure, the toad boss could be a grouch at times, but that was a tad excessive.

"Speaking as one of his victims, I can very much say it's an experience you're well off without," Jiraiya shuddered.

"Got it. No pissing off the giant toad boss anymore."

Jiraiya snorted, "Good luck with that. Doesn't take much to get on his bad side. Anyway, rest up. We're leaving at first light."

Naruto nodded but before turning in he asked, "Could you teach me seals?"

Jiraiya's eyes narrowed and he became serious, "Kid, I get that you wanna honor your clan and mother, but fuinjutsu isn't something you decide to learn on a whim. You barely have the academy basics down. You need a very solid foundation before you learn anything else. And let's not forget, this trip is about learning how to control the Kyubi's power."

"Yeah, cuz that went wel-"

"Look, we'll talk about it some more when we leave tomorrow. Not making any promises but I'll test you and we'll go from there. Sound fair?" Jiraiya blinked as Naruto vanished from his sight and watched the tent's flaps flutter. Jiraiya laughed at the scene. And who knows maybe the brat would surprise him.

(The Next Day)​

"Well, I'll be honest, this isn't bad handwriting," Jiraiya was being honest.

It wasn't bad and, from what he learned, he believed it was because of Naruto's stint as a prankster when he painted the Hokage Mountain's faces. Who'd have thought that pranks would end up giving him a decent brushing hand. All in all, Jiraiya had to admit he was surprised.

"So, I can learn seals?"

Jiraiya barked out a laugh, "Not even close, brat."

"Oh, come on!"

Jiraiya's face changed. It was the face of a serious no-nonsense mentor, "Your calligraphy's decent but decent isn't going to cut it if you're wanting to take up fuinjutsu. Your writing needs to be flawless and your characters immaculate. In short: perfect."

Naruto groused, "You sound like the academy when everyone compared me to Sasuke-teme."

"Brat, this is serious. One small smudge, one stroke too long or small, one wrong character is all it takes to spell disaster. I've seen a man trying to conceal a weapon with a seal only for it to end up turning the weapon to shrapnel and the arm became beyond saving. I saw the aftermath of another trying to enhance their mental faculties only to turn themselves into a vegetable or blow their brains out of their skull. Those that died were lucky. You're not bad but you're not ready either, Naruto. I've no intention of telling Tsunade you died because you reached for the sun too quickly."

Naruto frowned but the idea of losing an arm or becoming brain dead, or dead in general wasn't on his to do list.

"Here," Jiraiya gave Naruto a book.

"Really? A calligraphy book?"

"Read it. Practice it. Repeat until I can't tell the difference. Only then will I deem you ready to learn fuinjutsu. For now, put it away and get ready. From here on, we're in for a walk."

Naruto quickly put away gift confused by the man's words, "I thought you said there were whirlpools? Wait, are you saying I can handle it?"

Jiraiya laughed at the young shinobi's inquiring, "Well, I am. But even then, it's tricky. Walking on still or slow-moving water is one thing but raging waters with very uneven surfaces are another. And it takes exceptional control with whirlpools and you're nowhere near ready for that yet."

"Could have just said no," Naruto mopped.

"Cheer up. Even the clans native to this area had trouble."

"Really?"

"Nope. Kids way younger than you knew how to deal with them."

"Jerk!"

Jiraiya merely laughed as they walked along the shoreline and after a few hours of just walking and doing nothing, other than him handing over his travel bag to Naruto - to the teen's annoyance of becoming a pack mule - the blond ninja was starting to get bored.

"So, when you said walk, you meant this?"

"Yep. Truth be told, this is a first for me."

"Wait, you've never been?"

Jiraiya shrugged, "Never felt the need to see it. Sarutobi-sensei's been there a few times, and Tsunade-hime when she was younger. They told me a few things, but this will be my first time setting foot on Uzushio."

"And we're walking on the beach, why?"

"We're looking for a gateway."

"Huh?"

"A gateway. Uzushio may have been isolated, but the seas and their islands could only provide so much. So, they developed a few ways to get to and from the mainland without others knowing and we are looking for-Here we go!"

"…A rock?" the pervert was excited because of a rock?

"To the untrained eye sure but to a seal master," Jiraiya did a few gestures, nicked his finger to smear a small amount of blood and…nothing.

"Real impressive," Naruto deadpanned after several seconds.

"Odd. That should-Oh, of course!"

"Ow! What the hell?!" Naruto winced, blood dripping from his finger.

"Don't be a baby. Channel some chakra into it," Jiraiya ordered.

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Naruto frowned but concentrated and watched as the stone glowed until it exploded into a series of formulas and unknown characters that enveloped him and Jiraiya. Before he had time to do anything, Naruto's stomach churned as the world spun, myriads of bright colours exploded before his eyes, and pain resonated in his skull as he landed on his head.

"Itai!"

"Blood seals, very clever."

"What the hell was that?" a wincing Naruto asked.

"That was an Uzumaki ferrystone."

"A what?" a wincing

"Ferrystone. An extremely complex formula that allowed the people of Uzushio to travel to and from Hi no Kuni's shores. Heard about them but never actually saw a working one till today. Sarutobi-sensei had a fake one in his office, so I recognized it."

"Sounds like the Yondaime's Hiraishin no Jutsu," Naruto said.

"In a way," the concept was similar, but the Toad Sage knew for a fact that the Hiraishin was vastly more complex. Even for a prodigy like Minato it had taken him years to perfect his version of Tobirama's technique, and that was with his and Kushina's help.

"So…this is Uzu," the sight before Naruto wasn't was nothing more than ruins, rushing water and whirlpools. Nature had long since reclaimed much of the destroyed buildings and land if the growth of plant life was an indication, "Definitely not the welcoming party I was expecting."

"What welcoming party? No one lives here anymore," as far as Jiraiya knew. And given Uzu's state, living here would be very difficult even for the most hardened survivalist and ninja.

Naruto's eyes wandered the ruins, his curiosity piqued. He had never been anywhere quite like this before. The silence was eerie, but he could almost hear the whispers of the past. "So, what do we do now?"

Jiraiya's expression grew solemn as he looked around the desolate place, "We explore."

They treaded carefully through the overgrown vegetation that had overtaken the once-great village. Each step brought them closer to a history that was now nothing but crumbling stones and shattered dreams. The silence was occasionally broken by the mournful cries of distant birds and the relentless crashing of waves against the shore.

The sun had reached its peak by the time they arrived at what looked like the center of the village. There was a clearing surrounded by the remnants of what once must have been an impressive structure. It was here that Jiraiya felt a strange pull, something that made his hair stand on end. "This must be where the Uzumaki clan's main house used to be," he murmured, his voice barely carrying in the stillness.

But something felt off. Jiraiya sensed no one, and with his training his senses were sharpened to detect most. He wasn't Minato's level, but then again few were. He looked around, searching for any signs of life, his eyes narrowing as they swept the area.

"You okay?"

"Just something feels weird," was all Jiraiya said.

Naruto's eyes widened slightly as he turned to look around, "I don't feel anything."

"It's probably just my imagination," Jiraiya said, trying to convince himself more than his godson. This feeling hadn't been present the last time he explored the region.

They continued on and the further they went, the stronger the feeling grew until Jiraiya had to stop, "Okay, now I seriously think we're being watched."

Naruto spun around and began searching the area once again, "Where?I don't see anyone," whichonly worried him more.

Jiraiya had heard tales of onryō, vengeful spirits, and shiryō who haunted places where they died. But such tales were simply campfire stories meant to scare again, Jiraiya had witnessed strange things that most ninja in this day and age didn't and had heard of some things that Sarutobi's father had encountered during the Era of Warring States.

"Let's keep moving," Jiraiya suggested, noticing the nervousness in his godson's stance. The kid didn't do well with ghosts. Apparently, it was due to a prank gone wrong and left him with a lasting impression. Seeking to distract him and calm his nerves, Jiraiya quickly rummaged through his bag - that Naruto was still carrying! - before he pulled something out and gave it to Naruto.

"What's this?"

"Chakra paper. Wasn't gonna do it for a while but this will give us an idea on what your nature affinity is," not exactly the time but it did serve to distract his godson.

"Nature affinity?"

"Sage help me," Jiraiya muttered lowly, his previous unease replaced with exasperation, "Please tell me you know what the five basic natures are?"

"Fire, wind, water, earth and lightning," Naruto deadpanned, and Jiraiya was thankful for small mercies.

"Bingo. That paper basically tells us what you'll be good at. Pour some chakra into it and - Oh, damn it," Jiraiya muttered at the results.

"Did I do it wrong?" Naruto asked, eyeing the split piece of paper.

"No, but it does complicate things. Split paper means your affinity is wind, a rare affinity in Hi no Kuni with barely a handful of practitioners and even fewer masters. I have two or maybe three basic techniques on them from way back when. Hi no Kuni shinobi are mostly composed of fire nature specialists, hence the name. When we get the chance, we'll have to make a slight detour to Hi no Kuni's capital."

They proceeded through the village rubble, every step echoing through the desolate space. The eerie feeling had apparently disappeared and Naruto was busy reading a ninjutsu scroll. Until the wind picked up, cold, and unforgiving, much like the destruction that had ravaged this place and the eerie sensation came back nearly tenfold.

"Okay, what now?" much as Naruto wanted see how his mother's clan, his clan, lived and get a better idea about the Uzumaki and Uzushio in general, right now, with the eerie silence and the unsettling feeling in the air, he wasn't ashamed to admit he was starting to get scared shitless.

"I'm not sure," Jiraiya replied, his eyes scanning the area with a new intensity, "But something's definitely not right here."

"Oh, thanks for saying that!" Naruto glared at Jiraiya but paused and shuddered as a sound akin to hundreds of people whispering was heard, "Oh, please let that be the wind."

Jiraiya ignored him and remained silent as he concentrated on finding what was making those ominous whispers. The sound grew angrier based on the tone but, even then, he couldn't make sense of it. His instincts were screaming at him that this was no ordinary place anymore, that there was something, or somethings, here that didn't wish them well.

"Brat, stay sharp. It's clear we aren't alone," Jiraiya warned, his hand forming a Rasengan while Naruto created several Shadow Clones.

The clones spread out, searching for any signs of movement or chakra. The whispers grew into a crescendo, the air thick with an energy that was palpable and hostile. The vibrations grew stronger, and parts of the ruins around them began to shake earth split open with a deafening roar - but it wasn't the actual earth and more of a dark void-like tear ripping open, the sound akin to fabric being stretched too far before surrendering - and from the fissures emerged what could only be described as ghosts of Uzushio warriors, their translucent forms wielding spectral weapons, their eyes burning with rage and air grew colder, and the clones dispersed, each one preparing for combat as the ghosts circled them.

"Who or what are they?" Naruto's voice was tight with tension.

"Best bet, the fallen of Uzushio," Jiraiya said grimly, "Their anger and sorrow have bound them here. We need to find out what they want, and maybe we can help them find peace."

"Can't we run instead?" Naruto asked as the ghosts closed in, their weapons poised to strike.

The Rasengan in Jiraiya's hand grew to an alarming size, and the air crackled with power. Yet, he didn't attack. Instead, he spoke in a calm and solemn tone, "We come in peace. With me is a member of your clan! His name Uzumaki Naruto, son of Uzumaki Kushina."

The spirits' wails grew quieter, and their movements ceased. One ghostly figure, a woman with long red hair, stepped forward. Her eyes searched Jiraiya and then fell upon Naruto. The anger in her gaze softened, and Jiraiya assumed it was because she recognized Naruto as one of their it only lasted for a second before she attacked along with the rest.

"What the-?!" Jiraiya years of experience allowed Jiraiya to dodge the sudden spectral shurikens thrown by the angry spirits.

"Ero-sennin! What's going on?" Naruto yelled, his eyes wide with fear and confusion.

"No clue! Uzumaki or not, this guys aren't listening!" Jiraiya barked as he avoided a sword swing. So much for diplomacy!

Being non-corporal the damage from these spirits would not be physically. Ghosts and spirits were said to be comprised of mainly a unique form of spiritual chakra. So while they couldn't cut them in the usual sense, they could do something much worse: affect their chakra and their mental state.

And if Jiraiya correctly recalled the old tales from his former mentor, this was done to make the victims feel the ghosts' pain or leave them vulnerable enough to be taken over by a spirit or reduced to a catatonic state. With Naruto being a jinchuriki this was likely too difficult or impossible to accomplish thanks to the Kyubi.

Or, at least Jiraiya hoped.

The battle was beginning to grow, the ghosts' movements swift and erratic. It was clear they were driven by a deep, unresolved anger that had festered over time. Jiraiya and Naruto did their best to drive them off, a task easier said than done. All the while, the woman's gaze remained locked on Naruto, her rage more focused than the others.

Jiraiya thrusted the Rasengan towards a spectral swordsman, but the results were the same as before: the technique and his arm went through the unresolved entity's form.

"This isn't working," Jiraiya muttered.

Sage Mode might work but it was unlikely the spirits would give him a chance to summon Ma and Pa to use the technique. Scrolls were another but given they were ghosts and he had no experience in this, he had no idea if that would work.

Barriers could very likely work if they were anything like Dan Katō when he used the Spirit Transformation technique he was famed for but Jiraiya knew no barrier technique that created a chakra shell. He had seals that could mimic the effect but that would take time they lacked.

Jiraiya went with plan C, "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" a plume of white enveloped but, but when it cleared, there was only Jiraiya.

The man made a second attempt, and then a third, where there was enough power to summon Ma and Pa, but once again, nothing made the call, "Naruto! We're leaving! Use the ferrystone to take us back to Hi no Kuni!"

Naruto, equally as desperate to escape the relentless barrage of ghosts despite wanting to know more about his heritage, agreed. But there was one small wrinkle, "Don't you have it?"

Jiraiya was comically horrified, "Why would I have it? You're the one who used it last!"

"I gave it back to you!"

"When?" Jiraiya demanded, searching his pockets with a frantic look.

"When we first got here!"

"You what?!" Jiraiya looked at his godson as if he had grown another head.

"You said keep track of it!"

"By that I meant you!"Jiraiya was losing his cool, and the ghosts were taking notice, their eyes deadpanning at the sheer audacity of the two living beings arguing while in their presence.

"Wait...wait...Wait, I have it!"

"Use it!"

Naruto made to do, but a sudden spirit appeared before him and its grotesque face and the eerie sounds from it caused the startled young ninja to drop the ferrystone.

"Grab it! Grab it before-"

Splash!

"-it hits the water," both living ninjas' faces were horrified.

"Oh, crap. Oh, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!"

"You moron!"

"The ghosts hovered, watching the bizarre exchange with a mix of bewilderment. The spectral swordsman Jiraiya had tried to blast earlier looked at his comrades with a silent question, as if asking if they had ever seen living beings fight over an inanimate object.

"How could you lose it?!"

"I didn't mean to?!" Naruto protested, his voice rising with every word.

"Who can't hold onto a rock properly for less than a few seconds?" Jiraiya shot back, his hand gestures growing more exaggerated with every word.

The spectral figures watched, their expressions unchanged, but that changed when a sudden burst of smoke filled the area. The smoke bomb had been thrown with surprising accuracy, and the ghosts' eyes widened in shock. The smoke obscured Jiraiya and Naruto from view as they dashed towards the nearest building. It was a large, imposing structure that looked like it had once been a bastion of power and authority.

"How long do you think that'll trick 'em?"

"Not long. Spirits are said to be attracted to living chakra, especially those with a lot of yang oriented chakra. Which makes you more or less a wildfire on a dark night," the toad sage told him.

Naruto's cheeks grew pink. On the one hand, he had a bunch of chakra but that wasn't working in his favour right now.

"Try and suppress your chakra as much as possible. And pray that'll buy us some more time," ordered the spymaster.

Naruto did as he was told. He wasn't very adept with the skill given it was difficult to suppress one's chakra signature when possessing enough for a dozen high ranking ones, "So, how do we get outta here?"

"We need another ferrystone," Jiraiya said, his mind racing, "Or at least something that will get us out of here. Search around, but be careful. No one lives here anymore, but Uzumaki weren't known for letting any just steal their secrets."

Jiraiya recalled how after much of the clan had been wiped out, when Kiri and Kumo troops gathered the spoils much of them had been in for nasty surprises. Even at near extinction, the Uzumaki Clan didn't make things easy for their enemies.

"Why are they attacking us in the first place? I mean, you, I get, but I'm an Uzumaki! Shouldn't they recognize me?

"They're spirits with lingering resentment, Naruto. This isn't some happy-feely film or romance novel! This place wasn't just inhabited by the Uzumaki Clan. A lot of people, native and non-native, died here and this place had the misfortune of going through a civil war before Kumo and Kiri struck. Could be that these spirits in particular have something against the Uzumaki in general."

"Oh, lucky me," Naruto deadpanned.

"Just look around and be quick. Don't fancy dying in a place where I'm not surrounded by beautiful women!"

Naruto rolled his eyes but knew the seriousness of the situation. He nodded, "Alright, we look for a ferrystone or another way out!"

The two of them split up, with Jiraiya taking the upper floors and Naruto searching the ground level. The building was eerie, the floorboards creaking under their feet, and the air thick with dust and the faint scent of decay. It was a stark reminder of the life that once thrived here.

Naruto's eyes scanned the rooms, looking for any signs of the ferrystone or something that could help them escape. The walls were adorned with ancient tapestries depicting Uzumaki warriors in battle, their fiery red hair billowing in the wind as they fought fearsome beasts or armies. His heart swelled with pride at the sight of his ancestors, but the feeling was quickly replaced by dread as the whispers grew louder, the ghosts growing impatient with their search.

Jiraiya, meanwhile, stumbled upon a room filled with decayed scrolls and cursed his luck. He had hoped for something more tangible, something he could feel the power emanating from, but no such luck. The dust from the scrolls tickled his nose, making him sneeze. "Goddammit!" he cursed.

Naruto's voice echoed from downstairs, "Ero-sennin, found something?"

"Nothing but dust, bones and decayed scrolls!" was Jiraiya's bad news. He wasn't surprised. Hopeful but not surprised. The clans that once resided here either destroyed their secrets, the few lucky survivors made off with them, or the enemy forces took what few remained.

But there was something about the room he was in. The walls had been scarred and burned, as if some fierce battle had taken place here. His eyes scanned the walls and then the floor, spotting something peculiar. It was a pattern, almost like a seal but not quite.

Jiraiya's curiosity was piqued. He had studied ancient Uzumaki seals and symbols from what little Kushina once had and knew that this wasn't a simple decoration. He carefully approached the pattern, his senses tingling as he felt the faint pulse of chakra emanating from it. If his hunch was correct, and he believed it was, then Naruto was required.

"Brat! Get up here! I think I've found something!"

Jiraiya's urgent call echoed through the abandoned corridors, and Naruto wasted no time in sprinting up the stairs. He skidded to a stop in the doorway, panting heavily as he took in the sight of the charred room. "What is it?"

"I believe this might be a way out of here, or hopefully something that keeps these things away from us. Go ahead," Jiraiya pointed to the seal, "Try putting some blood on it and let's see what happens."

Naruto didn't hesitate and nicked his finger on the sharp edge of his kunai. The crimson liquid dripping onto the seal and Naruto concentrated as he poured in his chakra. Barely a moment later, the symbol began to glow a faint blue, the light pulsing in sync with the chakra he provided before a portal opened up.

The ghosts outside the building took notice, their movements halting as they stared at the light emanating from the room. The spectral woman looked at the glow for just a second before a bone chilling shriek escaped her ethereal rotting lips. It was followed by several nearby spirits who made their way towards the building, their non-corporal forms phasing through stone and wood.

Naruto's eyes grew wide in terror, "What did we do?!"

"Run and don't stop!" Jiraiya pushed Naruto towards the portal and jumped in after him and hoped the spirits wouldn't or couldn't give chase.

The world around them swirled in a dizzying array of color and light. The sensation of falling was replaced with a sudden jolt as they were expelled out of the other end of the seal. The two landed hard on the ground, the impact knocking the wind out of their lungs.

"I hate that," Naruto grumbled from the ground, "Where are we?"

"No clue. But I'd say we're out of the frying pan and into the...uh, another frying pan," Jiraiya said, coughing dust out of his lungs as he sat up, squinting around at their new surroundings.

Based on the design and the surroundings Jiraiya could make out, it appeared that they were either still in Uzu, likely a secret strong house. The telltale sound of the spirits made it clear they were still in Uzushio.

The room was dimly lit from the little amount of sun that was able to pierce through the dense clouds and fog. Torches, lamps, electricity weren't exactly available in a destroyed and ruined village.

The walls of the chamber were adorned with intricate carvings of what seemed to be ancient Uzumaki symbols. They danced across the stone in a way that spoke of power and protection, almost pulsing with the same rhythm as the blood seal they had just triggered.

Naruto picked himself up, dusting off his clothes as he took in the new surroundings, "What now?"

Based on the design of the room they found themselves in, Jiraiya deduced that it was likely an ancestral chamber, a place where the Uzumaki Clan's most powerful seals were kept. Or, once held if the nearly empty shelves were anything to go by. The intricate carvings and the lingering energy suggested that this was a place of great significance.

"I'll be honest, I can't make this out," Jiraiya had seen much and seen many kinds of seals, but these ones felt foreign to him. If he had some characters to work with and knew what they meant he could eventually crack it, but with a bunch of angry spirits wanting to do them in time was a luxury they didn't have at the moment.

"Uh, Ero-sennin."

"What is it?"

"I think we're trapped in here," Naruto told him.

Jiraiya looked around, his heart sinking at the sight of the portal behind them fading away into nothingness. He hadn't anticipated that the spirits would be capable of such a reaction, or maybe it was just the seal ceasing its function naturally. But that shouldn't be an indicator that they were trapped.

Until Jiraiya saw Naruto looking at several skeletons and the notepad in his hand. The older ninja took the notepad and quickly read its contents, "It's a journal one of them left behind, likely as a way to cope with a bad situation. Good news is that this place is barrier-protected, so we should be safe from the spirits. Bad news is the seal malfunctioned and they tried to use another to get out. Judging by their size, I'm guessing they were kids and just didn't have the know-how to make sense of the scrolls in here to do it.

Naruto's eyes widened, "So, we are stuck here?"

Jiraiya flipped through the scroll, his eyes scanning the ancient text with optimism, "Not necessarily. These kids were just unfortunately out of luck. Probably barely just started, if I'm to guess. I'm way more experienced. But what's detailed here is different from what I'm used to. It's gonna take me a bit of time. Look around and see if you can find anything related to space-time techniques or seals...or anything that looks too complicated for you to wrap your head around."

Naruto ignored the jab but made a note to prank the pervert once they got out of here. What Jiraiya should have taken into account was that Naruto wasn't academically inclined, so a lot went over his head, and he ended up bringing the man almost everything he found until the Toad Sage told his ward to occupy himself while he tried to figure a way out.

Naruto huffed at the man's words, but seeing as he had nothing to do, he decided to look around. Most scrolls he found went over Naruto's head; one was very basic, by Uzumaki standards - and apparently the original copy, so Naruto put that away for later. When he found a set of stairs that spiralled downwards, Naruto found himself on another floor, akin to the one above and with stone lion dog statues.

"Please don't come alive," Naruto begged, but a flash of red in their eyes gave him pause until they became a soft blue and the statues remained motionless. He didn't know if it was because they recognized him as an Uzumaki, but Naruto took it as a win. The floor was littered with scrolls, overturned desks, and fallen furniture and broken pedestals, along with other various pieces of equipment. Much of which had long since rusted over and was practically useless, and likely kept for sentimental or historical value more than anything.

"So much for finding an awesome weapon or armor," Naruto muttered at the dashed fantasy. A glint on the floor caught his eye and Naruto moved some downed scroll and broken rubble to find a gold chain with a circular amulet covered in dust. At first, Naruto believed it to be a pocket watch but found no latch or opening and for the life of him couldn't figure it out.

"Must have belonged to someone important," Naruto guessed and then pocketed the item. The necklace was likely worthless, and he already had one of his own, but it was still a piece of the home he never knew and better for it to be kept in the family than being stuck down here collecting dust and forgotten. After searching a while longer, aside from a few scrolls he believed might help Ero-sennin, Naruto found nothing else of note to take back with him due to their poor condition and decided to head back up.

"Find anything?" Jiraiya asked, his eyes never once taken off the wall, as he was carefully drawing some characters that went over Naruto's head.

"Just some more scrolls," Jiraiya grunted at the reply, and Naruto took that to pass them over.

Hours went by, which then ultimately turned in days until over a week passed. During that time, Jiraiya combed over scrolls, made adjustments or started over to the sealing formula he made. Naruto did what he could, which was mainly staying out of Ero-sennin's way, searched around for anything he missed, or busied himself by practicing calligraphy or reading some scrolls.

Presently Naruto was reading over a basic wind release technique called the Wind Release: Gale Palm. A low-ranking C-Rank technique that had no cutting power. It was strong enough to knock a person over if well placed - unlike that Great Breakthrough that snake bastard Orochimaru used to send him flying hundreds of feet away - but its main purpose was to augment the distance, speed and cutting power of thrown shuriken or used to throw off incoming projectiles.

Not exactly his fighting style, but Naruto supposed it was a decent technique.

"Done."

Naruto's head snapped up at the declaration, "We're getting out of here?"

"Hopefully," was Jiraiya's tired response.

"Hopefully?"

"The Uzumaki being called unmatched seal masters wasn't lightly tossed around, and all this proved. This, this is beyond next-level fuinjutsu. I was lucky to make out two-thirds of what I've read only because of what your mother taught me. And even then, I had to guess," Jiraiya admitted.

"I thought you said you can't do that with seals?" Naruto recalled.

"Normally, you shouldn't. But given our circumstances, we aren't exactly spoiled for choice, brat. We can survive days without food, but we ran out of that and water almost three days ago, and I'm running on fumes right now," Jiraiya also admitted.

The man had tried to summon one of the smaller toads to pass along a message to be reversed summoned. But something was prevented him from doing that, much like when they first arrived on Uzushio.

"Will it work?" Naruto asked his mentor.

Jiraiya thought about lying, but the brat was weirdly perceptive when it came to spotting lies and opted for the truth instead.

"Naruto, I'm going to be straight with you. I'm only sixty-seven percent confident this will work, and even if it does work, we'll likely have to deal with those spirits. Like I said, I'm running on fumes. So, the moment we do this, should it work, we need to hightail it out of here as fast as we can. And you might have to call on the Kyubi's chakra-"

Naruto immediately shook his head, "Uh-uh. Not after what happened last time!"

"We don't have a choice, brat," Jiraiya understood where Naruto was coming from, given the incident, but it wasn't as though they had a lot of options going for them, "I'm not saying you should go all Kyubi on their asses. I'm saying you have to prepare yourself if forced to tap into it. It's either this, or we die and your teammate is left to become Orochimaru's new vessel."

Naruto's eyes narrowed at the low blow comment, but Jiraiya felt it necessary to stop his godson from being so narrow-minded. At Naruto's reluctant nod, Jiraiya gave the array a final look over and then looked to Naruto, "Alright. Do your thing, brat, and then get ready."

Naruto did as instructed by biting his thumb to draw blood and then pumped some chakra into the seal. The room became bright white and moments later, both were gone. But while Jiraiya found himself back outside the ruined landscape of Uzushio, Naruto was nowhere to be found.

---

Seven Years Later​

"You can't be seriously considering them for such a crucial task?" Gregory Fince asked his king.

"Sovereign, their reputation is less than stellar," Alura agreed, and their current state didn't exactly help their case.

"Well, they do have a bear. It looked quite ferocious. And the song was entertaining."

Krieg agreed with the ruler of Tal'Dorei, "Why not give them a chance? It's not like others are bargin' down our doors. I'm afraid word of what happened to the other groups has already reached many an ear. Our choices are rather slim. They're an odd lot for certain, but decent enough, I suppose."

"Okay, I get that beggars can't be choosers, but come on! There has to be a group that's a helluva lot more qualified than these idiots," Kima prayed it to be the case.

"A house full of blind children would be more qualified," Finch countered.

"They know we can hear them, right?" Vex asked her brother. Hungover or not, elves still had decent hearing.

"Don't know, having a bloody time looking straight," Vax groaned.

"We're quite certain there aren't more qualified mercenaries in Emon?" a council member asked.

"Either they aren't here or they have no interest, for whatever reason. And it isn't like we can force mercenaries to do as we wish unless we want to be seen as tyrants," Alura cautioned.

"Out of the question," Uriel had heard of such incidents during his formative years, and most ended in long-term consequences, "The way I see it, we're left with few options. My decision is made."

"Sire, may I remind you that the realm looks to you for guidance. If the people learn we sent this rabble to defend us and they fail, and most likely they will fail, your authority will be put into question. At least the other mercenary groups had a decent reputation."

"Are you threatening the king, Fince?" Krieg's hand went to his sword pommel while others of the council looked nervous or frowned.

"Advising the king with caution," Fince retorted but sighed given said options were slim.

"Might I offer an alternative?" Alura chimed in.

Uriel's eyes furrowed, but nodded regardless, "Go on."

"Uh, any idea wat's takin' 'em so long?" Grog was bored.

"Knowing our shitty luck they're probably figuring out if we're worth the trouble or not," Vax concluded, and given fortune didn't exactly smile on them he was leaning towards the latter.

"Alright, you're hired, Vox Machina. Mainly because we like the bear," Sovereign Uriel told them.

Vex made a mental note to give her old companion extra love for that, and Vax was happy to have been proven wrong.

"Yes!"

"Fuck yeah!"

"Woohoo!"

"Under one condition."

"Fuck me," Vax muttered, "My fault for tempting fate."

"Name it!" Scanlan quickly spoke without consulting. A fact that irritated Vex.

"Scanlan," the half-elf growled, annoyed by the gnome's behavior.

"We're broke, Stubby. Not like we've got much going right now. So long as it doesn't involve the reward being split–It doesn't involve the reward being split, does it?" Vax quickly asked the council.

"Is that a problem?"

"What the f-Of course it's a problem!" Scanlan didn't expect that. The members of Vox Machina had a hard time sharing amongst themselves at times.

"Uh, I don't get it? Why would the reward be split?" Grog asked.

"Because they're having someone join us, am I correct?" Percy quickly deduced.

"You are," the Mistress of Arcana nodded.

"Oh, fuck dat! I ain't sharing my booze money!" Grog declared.

"It's either that or no deal," Uriel declared.

"Which means no booze money at all," added Lady Kima.

"Fuck!" the comment only angered Grog further. Either they got no booze or less booze. Either option sucked in his opinion, with one sucking less than the other.

"Are they competent, at least?" Vex prayed to fuck they were.

"He's…unique, to say the least," Allura admitted while Kima snorted.

"He's a pain in the ass, is what he is," retorted the halfling.

"You're just saying that because he calls you big sister."

"It makes me feel old!" Kima barked, "Sure, he's competent, but still a pain in the ass."

"This wouldna hafta do with your arse aching for a week after being pranked by the lad?" Krieg got the mother of all death glares from the Paladin halfling.

"Krieg, I told never to bring that up again!"

"Much as I agree with Lady Kima, we can't deny his capabilities," Gregory Fince was forced to admit. Painfully admit.

"Ha ha ha! Oh, you lot are in for a treat," General Krieg's laughter bounced off the walls.

"Um, are we missing something? I feel like we're missing something," Pike was confused while Keyleth was a pinch worried.

"Is he …nice?"

"Oh, he's a fine lad," Krieg admitted, "This lot's just got no sense of humour."

"Hard to have a sense of humour when you've been a victim of his pranks," Fince frowned at the memory.

"Oh, quit yer moanin'. The itchin' eventually went away."

"After three days!" three hellish days, and even then, he still felt phantom pains for an entire week. Just thinking about it made Fince shudder.

"At least you didn't have a sex doll delivered to you like Goldhand," Kima reminded.

"What's wrong with dat?" Grog asked.

"Yeah, seems like a nice gift to get honestly," Scanlan didn't see the issue.

"It was a hermaphroditic sex doll."

"With a horse dick attached."

"That vibrated."

"And talked, loudly."

"And squirted, everywhere" where was unsaid.

"In front of an assembly of dignitaries from all over."

"As well as in front of my teenage daughter," the Sovereign groaned.

That had not been a pleasant conversation. Nor had it been a conversation that either Uriel or his wife ever thought they'd have to discuss with their child. Or any parent whose child had been present. Scanlan was laughing his ass off at the reveal along with Grog while the rest snickered. Even Percy was a bit amused, though his lips were pursed to prevent any noise from escaping his lips.

"Oh, man, that's-" Scanlan found his lips covered.

"Where can we find him?" Vex sent the bard a look that promised pain if he opened his mouth, even though she herself still snickered at the the hilarity, "Before we agree, we'd like to see him first. Make certain this is going to work, and all that."

It hadn't been the first time an outsider joined them only to stab them in the back. She'd like to avoid such a situation, thank you very much!

"Fair enough. Krieg, where would they find him?" Uriel asked.

"Knowing him, they'll find the lad in the training yard. That one's got enough piss and vinegar in him to fill an army twice over," the general revealed, "Follow me, and do yerselves a favor: try not to annoy the lad."

"Can't promise that," Percy wasn't speaking about himself. Well, mostly.

Krieg, for his part, just shrugged, "Dinna say I didn't warn you."

The group didn't know what to make of that.

"Fantastic. An unknown as a teammate. Anything other surprises you wish to drop?" Vax asked sarcastically.

"Yes. Supposedly, the lad's an elementian," Krieg revealed.

"A wat?" Grog didn't know the significance.

"…Is that supposed to mean something?" Scanlan and all but two of Vox Machina failed to understand the significance.

"Seriously? An elementian? Aren't they, like, rarer than even an aasimar?" Pike's statement was one of astonishment; Keyleth's expression matched the gnome's.

"Very rare, lass. Didna believe it meself until we had him checked. Still have a hard time believin' it."

"Okay, what the hell is an elementian?" Vex hated not being in the know.

"Don't get yer knickers in a bundle, lass. They're a secluded human-like race who live in a highly unknown plane no one has ever seen," answered Krieg.

.

..

…

"…That's all?" Percy was hoping for something a little more substantive, but Krieg said nothing more, "Surely you must know more."

"That's all I know, really. I'm a general, not a scholar. As I said, extremely secluded. Even Allura's knowledge on them is heavily limited," Krieg told the white haired human.

"Um, I've heard of them in passing among my people," Keyleth admitted to the group, "I mean, I've never actually seen one, but I know they live somewhere called the Ki Plane. Apparently, it's a very dangerous place, actually."

"Ki Plane? Why are they called elementians?"

"It's because their world is divided into countries, or kingdoms, I think, named after elements. It's called the Ki Plane because apparently they have, like, a lot of ki. Their whole world is pretty much overflowing with it," Keyleth answered.

"And you know this how?" Vax wondered, asking the question that was on the minds of a few of them.

"Stories passed down from my people's ancestors who met one a very long time ago. Can't remember the name, to be honest. I fell asleep in class and the elders had me memorize some of our history as punishment. Some of it stuck," she sheepishly admitted.

"Makes sense," Grog didn't really understand but thought it was the right answer. When in doubt, fake it.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Back up on the whole dangerous thing you mentioned. How dangerous are we talking about?" unless they were hot, exceptionally hot, Scanlan didn't fancy being around a dangerous individual.

A drunk, heck, a sober and angry Grog and Vex on her monthly was more than enough, thank you!

"Can't say for sure. All I know are stories the elders passed down. Something with primordial or walking calamities, giant creatures being bigger than islands, people who can create trees-"

"Trees? Yeah, not what I'd call impressive and we can do that," Scanlan quipped, "Well, you can do that."

"Trees that can be formed into dragons, or wooden statues the size of a mountain, and numerous enough to cover an entire desert?"

"Can't you do that?"

"Not alone, or in a few days, I can't. Even if a dozen archdruids worked at it for a half a decade, they'd be hard pressed to accomplish that kind of thing," the rituals to transform a desert into a forest were by no means easy nor quick.

"Yeah, whatever, that's…Okay, can't deny it, that sounds impressive," Scanlan was forced to admit, "But if these guys are so powerful, how come no one's ever heard of them before?"

Pike was the one who answered, "It's not that no one hasn't Scanlan. It's just very uncommon knowledge. You're more likely to meet an aasimar."

"Aasi-what?" Grog inquired.

"Aasimar," Percy corrected, "An individual who's been touched by a celestial being-"

"Hope it was consensual," Scanlan snickered alongside Grog.

"-Or descended from one," Percy finished with a twitching eyebrow at their immaturity, "It's very rare to meet one in Tal'Dorei."

Pike picked up where she left off, "Yeah, well, elementians are a bit rarer, apparently. They look like humans to the point that you can't tell 'em apart. Most of what anyone knows about them comes from word of mouth from generation to generation, but most people just stop after a point. No one from the Material Plane or the other planes has ever actually seen the Ki Plane. At least no one who did has ever said anything about it or been believed. You can't even use magic to get there. We only know about it from the few natives who, uh, unfortunately, found themselves stranded here."

"Stranded?"

"As in no way back," Keyleth interjected, "Wherever they come from, I do know one thing: getting back is said to be pretty damn impossible. How they even get here in the first place is just as mysterious. Even then, times in some of the planes work differently, like the Feywild. Could be the same, slower, or the opposite, so even if they do get back-"

"Years, perhaps even decades or even centuries, could have possibly passed, and by then everyone they knew would be gone," Percy chimed in with a frown.

"Exactly. Poor things," Keyleth could only imagine how that must feel.

"Talk about shit luck," Vax muttered lowly, but was still heard by his twin. Both knew the pain of losing their home and never being able to go back.

The rest of the walk to the training yard was done mostly in silence save for Scanlan commenting on the odd maid or lady that caught his eye and then the shirtless warriors as they reached the training yard.

"Those abs. You could shred chee-"

"Scanlan, must you-Oh, wow, those are nice," Vex couldn't help herself.

"Right?"

"If you two are done ogling like a couple of horny teens-"

"Look who's talking, brother," Vex smirked as Vax was caught looking at a few himself.

"At least I'm more subtle, Stubby," Vax smirked back.

"If you lot are quite done," General Krieg cast them a look that showed the general was getting annoyed, "Anyway, I don't see the lad. Odd. He's usually here."

"So, what are supposed to-Hello, beautiful!" Scanlan exclaimed.

The group rolled their eyes but one look at the bard's target had them blinking. Tall, wearing an orange gi with well-worn wraps around her feet and fists, short hair that was a surreal crimson, a blindfold with a metal plate around her eyes, and a rack that defied gravity and a toned stomach.

"Not that I'm into women, but daaamn!" Pike commented and both Vex'ahlia and even Keyleth couldn't help but agree with the cleric on the last bit.

"Oooh, titties!" Grog drooled.

Percy was the first of the men to come to his wits, "Show some decorum, Grog."

"Dick rum? Wat's dat? Sounds like bad booze," Percy groaned at the response and asked the gods to give him strength.

"Hello, my fair, voluptuous lady. I am Scanlan Shorthalt! Bard of the Stars, Lover extraordinaire-"

"Not interested, shortstuff."

To his credit, Scanlan was quick to recover. It hadn't been the first time he received such a response, nor the last, but Scanlan had more than a few tricks up his sleeve, "Oh, how you wound me, my lady-"

"Not yet but I will if you're not gone by the count of three."

Scanlan blinked, "Three?"

"It's the number that comes after two."

"What's going on?"

"Should we help?"

"No need. I'm sure Scanlan knows what he's doing," Vex smirked.

"Uh, don't look like it," Grog said much to the half-elf's annoyance.

"Uh, look, maybe we got off on the wrong-

"One."

"What the fuck?" Scanlan blinked as the woman disappeared and started getting nervous, "Wait minute! What happened to three and two?!"

"Konohagakure Hiden Taijutsu Ōgi: Sennen Goroshi (Konohagakure Hiden Secret Taijutsu Technique: One Thousand Years of Death)!" was the response.

"FUUUUUUCCCCKKK!" the entire yard, Vox Machina included, bore witness to the bard flying through the air, clenching and grabbing his ass cheeks all the while.

"That's a first," Vex commented, still trying to process what she just saw.

"I'll say."

The group winced a bit as Scanlan finally landed on the ground, too stunned to conjure his giant hand in time, and rolled unceremoniously across the yard.

"Ow."

"You okay, Scan-man?!" Grog shouted at him.

"No! That was the worst anal of my life," the gnome groaned, "This is why lube was invented!"

"He's fine," Vex rolled her eyes.

"Oh, there you are, lad."

"Lad?" the group blinked and then watched as the woman went up in smoke to reveal a young man a few inches taller than Percy with jaw-length sun-kissed blond bangs framing his face, a short ponytail, whisker marks, an attractive, angular face and wearing a robe of bright orange mixed with black and navy blue colors. Said robe weren't exactly eye candy, but the fact that it was open to reveal well-defined muscles on his abdomen and pectoral area made up for it in the minds of a few.

"Vox Machina, meet Nauto Uzmaker," Krieg introduced.

"Uzumaki Naruto," the blond corrected Krieg with a sigh. Not a single person knew how to pronounce his name properly.

"Give me credit, lad. Not exactly a common name," and few still who understood the elementian language, "

"Have to admit it's unique, alright. Glad to see there won't be a language barrier."

"You can thank this," Naruto held up his hand to show off a small bronze band around his finger.

"A Ring of Tongue. Convenient, even if it's the most basic one," Vax recognized. Hardly worth stealing compared to its more potent versions.

"Trust me, this thing saved me a shit ton of trouble," Naruto considered himself many things, but an academic wasn't one of them.

"I'll give you trouble. Ooh, that smarts," Scanlan, upon returning, groaned before he could continue, "Pike, you mind-"

"Never gonna happen," the cleric shot that down without a second thought.

"But my ass-"

"Will heal, Scanlan. Not the first time it's-

"Let's not go there, please," a red-faced Keyleth practically begged, not wanting to recallthat.

"Should I go wash my hands?" asked a green-looking Naruto.

"Oh, darling. You're better off burning them," Vex quipped.

"Or finding someone with powerful cleansing magic," Percy quipped.

"Greeeaaaat," groaned the tall, blindfolded blond.

"I hate you all," winced Scanlan, "And you, you blindfolded asshole! If you weren't ripped and tall and freakin' eye candy, I'd be very pissed."

"Please tell me he's kidding?" an even greener Naruto closed his robe with the way the gnome eyed him.

"He's not," Vex smacked the gnome for the loss of said eye candy, "But he does raise a point. What's with the blindfold? You're not-"

"Blind? Nah. I can see. I, uh, got into an incident a while back that makes 'em very sensitive to light. This helps," Naruto told them as he tapped his forehead protection/makeshift eye cover.

"Uh-huh."

"So, uh, what can I do ya for, Krieg? And what's with, what did you call them?" Naruto changed the subject.

"Vox Machina, good sir! Adventurers, rogues and lovers extraordinaire! Whatever the job, we leave all satisfied," the gnome winked.

Vex made it a point to have someone other than Scanlan when it came to introducing them to prospective teammates.

"You need to pay to have sex, don't you?" Naruto deadpanned.

"Hey!" sure, sometimes he did, but not always.

"Oh, I like him," Vex decided.

"Does that mean he's in?" Grog asked.

"In?"

"Apologies. Allow me to properly introduce us. Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III."

"Yeah, not gonna remember all of that," Naruto admitted.

"We just call him Percy or Percival," Keyleth admitted her friend had a way too long name, "I'm Keyleth of the Air Ashari."

"Pike Trickfoot," said the gnome cleric of the Everlight.

"Vex'ahlia, but you can call me Vex. The handsome rogue beside me is my twin brother, Vax'ildan. Vax for short," introduced the ranger, "And this cuddly, adorable ball of muscle is my dear, sweet Trinket."

The brown bear made a contented noise as the half-elf lavished attention upon him.

"Name's Grog Strongjaw. I'm the brains of the group!"

"Sure, ya are, big guy," Scanlan lightly tapped the man's muscular thigh, "And I-"

"Scanlan Shorthalt, the gnome who tried getting into my pants even after learning I was a guy. By the way, no thanks, I don't swing that way," Naruto told the cut-off gnome.

"Oh, a challenge. Even better," the bard wasn't deterred.

"Have you thought about neutering him to calm him down?" Naruto asked while Scanlan paled.

"Yes," said most of the group.

"Screw all of you!"

"Not even for 100,000 gold coins," Vex added. And that included getting rid of whatever disease the gnome had.

"What about 100,001?" Scanlan had to duck under a fired arrow, "Whatever. You don't know what you're missing."

"Oh, no, whatever shall I do without your gonorrhoea and herpes?"

"For the last time, I'm clean, damn it!" hadn't been cheap to get rid of them, but he was clean!

"Can you lot bloody well focus? Look, lad, the council hired 'em to deal with the beast that's been terrorizin' the countryside-"

"You're kidding?"

"'Fraid not. But beggars cannae be choosers right now. If you join 'em, the council would be less hesitant," Krieg informed the blond, "What do you say, lad?"

"Hold on!" Percy interjected, "General Krieg, I understand the council's demands, but we barely know him. You can't exactly expect us to collaborate without getting a better idea of what he's capable of or if we're compatible."

"Not his best argument," Pike muttered. The cleric wouldn't exactly call their group a well-oiled machine.

"Percy's right. We don't know shit 'bout him or what he can do."

"Thank you, Grog. Finally, some sense," Percy sighed in relief.

"Let's fight and see what you can do," Grog quickly added with a grin.

The noble of the group hung his head while Pike laughed. He should have known it was too good to be true, "That's not what I meant."

"A fight? I'm game. I could use a warm-up," Naruto grinned back.

Krieg barked a laugh, "That's the spirit, lads. Men! Clear the yard. Oh, but, uh, no live weapons."

"Aww," Grog whined.

"Probably for the best, buddies," Pike comforted her oldest friend, "Don't want a repeat of last time."

"I'm fine with him using his axe," Naruto told them. Krieg sighed but nodded all the same. But ordered for a healer to be on standby just in case.

Vex shook her head, "Your funeral."

Grog blinked, "I'm supposed to kill him?"

"No buddies. No killing. Just kick his ass," Pike was nervous. She wanted to avoid unintentional murder…again.

"But he said I could use my axe?" the Goliath was confused.

"It's just an expression, ya big dope," Pike laughed at the loveable but slow giant.

"Dropped on his head as a baby?" Naruto inquired.

"No, just very, exceptionally, special," Percy avoided the word stupid. The Goliath wasn't the sharpest of axes but he was by no means completely dull, "Fortunately for us, his muscles more than make up for it."

"Especially when shit hits the ceiling. Which is almost all the time," Scanlan added.

"Mainly because you and Grog are the ones who cause them," Percy countered.

Sure, the rest of Vox Machina also caused situations that landed them in some less-than-ideal situation or another, but Percy had done the math, and by comparison, it was mainly Scanlan and Grog who caused the most problems.

"Hold on, how about we make this interesting?" Vex had a look that her brother knew she was up to mischief, "The council made it clear that without you, they'd be less than willing to hire us. So, if you win, you can join us, and we'll split the reward eight ways," Vex ignored Scanlan and Grog's protest, "But if we win, you still join us, but our little band keeps the reward."

"Ooh, free muscle. I like it!" Scanlan was totally down with this plan.

"Not bad, sister," Vax was fine with it.

"Come on, guys. Don't you think-"

"Do we have a deal?" Vex cut off the ashari.

"So long as I still get to fight the big guy," the comment made the group blink and Naruto shrugged, "I like a challenge."

"Oohoo! Fuck yeah," whooped the goliath as he cracked his knuckles.

"Hold on, I have my own terms," Naruto quickly spoke and pointed at Scanlan, "One, no flirting from him."

"Done," Vex quickly agreed. It was a simple enough request, "Anything else?"

"Oh, yeah, and this is non-negotiable. Any time he does flirt with me, I get to kick him in the balls. Hard."

"Oh, come on!"

"Take it or leave it, tiny."

All but one of Vox Machina looked at one another before they looked to the tall blond, "Deal."

"No! No deal!" Scanlan could already feel his nuts throbbing.

"Okay, then. Let's do this," Naruto impressed them with a backflip that landed him well over thirty feet away.

"Oh, dat was badass," an impressed Grog grinned.

"It was a backflip, Grog," Vex tried to sound unimpressed, but, internally, she couldn't deny the impressive feat.

"How can you say that? There was no magic," Keyleth's eyes were alight with wonder.

"And those aren't Boots of Striding and Springing," Pike noticed.

"Alright, now. I want a clean fight. No killing!"

"You hear that, Grog? No killing."

"Not even a little?" the goliath pouted.

"Trust me, if ya wanna win, yer gonna need to come at me with the intent to kill," Naruto quoted his former Jonin instructor.

"You heard him say it!" Grog declared.

"This guy is crazy."

"Yeah, but he's hot, so it balances out," Scanlan added.

"Not that sure that's how it works."

"Who cares! Fight!" Scanlan declared.

"Oi!" Krieg's reprimand was drowned out by the goliath's below.

Grog wasted no time charging at the blond, his steps were hammers on an anvil, his warcry a bellowing wind, his eyes coursing with battlelust. Naruto, by comparison, remained still and composed and had a grin that made made Percy's eyes narrow. Instead of charging or drawing the weapon hanging at the side of his waist, he made a single handseal and was enveloped in a plume of white when Grog was barely within ten feet of him. The goliath's roar as he raised his axe shifted to one of shock, one that was mimicked by many present.

"What," Keyleth began.

"The," Pike followed.

"Fuck," and Vex finished.

"Nice," Scanlan leered.

In Naruto's place was a tall woman with blond hair with a blindfold and utterly naked, with curves in all the right places and then some. Each one of her breasts were the size Grog's head, utterly gravity-defying and firm, "Like. what. you. see?" the woman asked with a wink.

"TITIES!" steam flared from Grog's nostrils, his face flush red.

"Oh, gods," Keyleth blushed and covered her eyes when Grog Jr. made his appearance.

"Grog, put that away, ya big doof!" Pike blushed.

"Huh?" Grog was distracted by the comments and the naked beauty before him.

"Futon: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)!" the woman declared.

A bellowing wind akin to a hurricane slammed into Grog and despite his incredible size, the technique was powerful enough to knock the air out of his lungs and sent him flying. The goliath didn't stop until he crashed into the wall of the training yard behind Vox Machina, stunned and vulnerable as he remained stuck. The woman didn't waste time as she ran at speeds too fast for most to keep up with. Grog was still groaning as he was slowly regaining his bearings but not quickly enough when he found a naked grinning woman on top of him and a kunai at his neck.

"Uh...are we fucking?" a dazed Grog asked.

The woman deadpanned before she was replaced by a fully clothed Naruto once again, "No. No, we're not."

Grog was now wide awake, "What happened to the boobies?!"

"Gotta admit, I'm curious, too," Scanlan admitted.

"That's what you're focused on?" Keyleth asked.

"What? Why are you so surprised? They were perfect once in a lifetime tits. Ever fondle yourself?" Scanlan asked without a single ounce of shame.

"Scanlan," Vex was this close to skewering the gnome's sac with one of her arrows, "You can polymorph?"

"Nope. Transformation Technique," Naruto jumped down while Grog fell and didn't land quite as gracefully.

"Ouch."

"Transformation?"

"One of the three basic techniques we learn at the academy. Where I'm from ninja in training are required to master them before we officially become shinobi."

"Shino-He's a shadow monk!" Vax's daggers were in his hands while Percy's gun, along with Vex's bow, were aimed squarely at the blond.

"Hey, don't associate me with them. Those guys are cheap imitations of what my people can do," the blond frowned.

"Put those away. You honestly think the council wouldn't have looked into him already?" Krieg barked, "Allura checked him personally. The lad's no shadow monk. No ounce of Shadow Magic in him or even an echo. He'd have been drawn and quartered long before you lot arrived were it the case."

"I don't. I don't understand. What's wrong with shadow monks?" asked Keyleth, ignorant of the circumstances.

"The Shadowy Death Incident," Percy suddenly spoke, a frown upon his face but he put the List away.

"Aye. That's the one."

"The what?" Keyleth asked.

"An incident involving one of Emon's former sovereigns' loved ones some generations back. Under the empire's laws, no shadow monks are allowed to set foot in Tal'Dorei ever since the decree was made, unless they wish to die a most painful death," Krieg educated the ashari.

"So just because one group-"

"It's not just one group, Kiki," Vax interjected, "Shadow monk clans in general are very secretive, dangerous, and just plain assholes. No better than criminal guilds but a lot more disciplined, and loyal to a fault. The clans train from an early age, children, and any child not strong enough to endure it are-"

"Stop. Just, just stop," Keyleth, getting where he was headed, didn't want to hear anymore.

"Like I said, I'm not like those assholes. Where I'm from we're trained at young age so we can better control our powers, not kill people. And, if we don't pass, we just continue training at the academy until we're deemed ready, not killed. These guys, these shadow monks who call themselves ninja, use shadow magic. My people use chakra," Naruto told them.

"Chakra? Is that what you call ki?"

Naruto struggled with the answer, "Kinda. Concept is sorta the same, I guess. Chakra is made when we train and combine our spiritual and physical energies into one. We're also a lot more versatile when it comes to using it. And we have a lot more of it, too. Anyone where I'm from can use it."

"Like making trees or forests?" Keyleth inquired, curious and wanting a more positive conversation.

"Uh, I guess? I mean, I know the Founding Fire Shadow could create trees and his brother the Second was an unrivalled water master. Sarutobo-jiji was the Third and said to be the strongest of them 'cause he was asked to retake the position when the Fourth died. I paid more attention to Fourth; he was the fastest of ninja thanks to his Flying Thunder God Technique."

"Flying Thunder God?"

"Don't know how it works. Apparently, it involves very advanced seals and space-time manipulation, I think. It made him famous; people called him the Yellow Flash 'cause that's all people saw when he used it. Heaven or Hell were the next thing."

"That powerful, huh."

"During the Third Shinobi World War-"

"Riveting as this conversation is, need I remind you lot that we've a beast runnin' rampant on the countryside? Are you fine with him joining you?" Krieg asked.

"I'm fine. I mean, I won," Naruto eyed Scanlan, recalling the terms of the bet.

"I never surrendered!" Grog protested.

"He had a knife at your throat, big man. Pretty sure you lost that one," Vax's comment earned him a frown from the goliath.

"Better luck next time, buddies," Pike reassured the now pouting giant.

"Guess that's that then," Vex shook her head, "Welcome to the shit show."

"Glad to have you aboard, I've got so many questions," Keyleth smiled at him.

"At least he's competent," Percy noted.

"Glad to hear it. Let's go," Krieg ordered them and the group followed suit.

Scanlan approached Naruto with a curious look, "Uh, so, quick question-"

"Remember the bet," Naruto reminded and warned.

"Bet-Oh, shit," Scanlan cursed, "Okay, so, uh, why were you disguised as a chick in the first place?"

"Oh, that, I like messing with people," a grinning Naruto admitted, "Caught you guys off guard, didn't I?"

"I'll say. That rack was out of this world," Scanlan couldn't recall a more perfect pair.

"Based them on someone I knew," Naruto admitted with a slight sombre look as he recalled a short-tempered woman with enough strength to split the earth with a single digit.

"She here with you?"

"I wish," Naruto admitted, but also added, "But if you do somehow meet her, Tsunade-baachan can punch a giant's head off when pissed enough, and it doesn't take much to do it."

"Not a deal breaker if she's hot," Scanlan was very open-minded.

"She's in her 60s but looks half that," Naruto admitted.

"Noice."

Naruto made a note to prank the gnome's ass later.

"General Krieg. Might I ask how we are to reach the outskirts?" Percival asked and Krieg merely gave him a bemused look.

XxXxX​

"Okay, this is pretty awesome," Pike said, losing count for how many times she said it.

None could fault her given the view from an airship wasn't an everyday sight, not an unpleasant one.

"No."

What was unpleasant, however, was Vex's new obsession to see underneath Naruto's headband.

"Come now, darling. Surely you can make an exception for little old me," said the half-elf ranger.

"Lady, I won't deny you're hot-"

"Thank you, I know," Vex puffed her chest out and Naruto blushed.

"That's-I mean-Ah, the hell with this," Naruto decided it wasn't worth the headache and jumped onto the main mast and began walking up it as though it were the ground.

"Damn," Vex grunted at her failed attempt.

"Better luck next time, Stubby," her twin laughed but his eyes never left the ninja who was casually walking up the wooden beam before he perched on another like a bird, "Useful, that."

"You'll find him to be full of surprises," said the Mistress of Arcana.

"You were the one who found him, yes?" Percy recalled.

"Yes. The boy was in a bad state when I did."

"Boy?"

"When I found him, he had just turned nineteen."

"He's not even in his twenties?"

Allura shook her head, "I found him two years ago, and his injuries were quite severe. How he survived to this day remains a mystery, and his recovery was nothing short of miraculous, even with magic."

"And you're sure he isn't a shadow monk?" Percy eyed the shinobi a tad wearily.

Allura's eyes frowned, but she nodded, "We performed every test as we always have on those suspected to be shadow monks. All came back negative. He calls himself a ninja but his method of fighting is more akin to a monk of the four elements, yet vastly different. He says many elementians are like that when they train to become ninja."

"So long as we don't get stabbed in the back," Vex began, but was cut off by a laugh from Allura.

"If there is one thing you can be certain of, it's this: Naruto will never betray you. He views those who betray others or abandon others as trash, worse than trash," Allura said with a smile, "Just try not to pry too much. Some things he is open and willing to share. Others, however, remain close to the chest. It took me a year to gain his trust and to get him to open up. Whatever trauma he endured before I found him left its mark. So, for the sake of cooperation, don't pry too hard. Fince pushed too hard, and it earned him a black eye, and he was out cold for an entire day. If you earn his loyalty, Naruto is someone you want in your corner but even then he can be temperamental."

"Got it. Vex, maybe showing your tits will-Wah!" Scanlan ducked under an arrow.

"Must you butt in other people's business, gnome?" Vex's reply was a mocking muttering from the bard and she was sorely tempted to sic Trinket on him.

Allura breathed in to center herself, "Right, onto business. As you can see, we're nearing the Shale Steps. It's the closest location where the beast attacked."

"Uh, yeah, 'bout that. What exactly is it?" Scanlan just realized they had forgotten to ask said question.

"We don't know what it is. But as you can see, it's laying waste to the countryside," Allura motioned to the land below.

Smoke and dark blackened fields were seen for miles as they neared their destination. Villages were left in ruins or utterly destroyed and some nearby forests looked like they had caught fire.

"Bloody hell. Any survivors?" Vax asked the council member.

"None. Whatever it is, it makes certain to leave no one alive whenever it attacks a village."

"Which means it's smart. Anyone left alive could provide us with information we can use to plan against it," Percy deduced.

Vex and Vax shared a look as they recalled Vex's earlier reaction. Both hoped she was wrong.

Soon, the airship landed and just as quickly took off when the group disembarked. After getting the necessary information they needed from the local village, with Vax making friends with a young child, the group found their first clue on a hill overlooking the village and after almost an hour of walking the group arrived.

"Took you long enough," Naruto said.

"Not all of us can run or jump like you, kid."

"I'm twenty-one," Naruto frowned.

"Which makes you the youngest, kid," Vax grinned.

"Whatever, old man," Naruto shot back.

"He's got you there, brother," Vex smirked.

"Ain't you twins? Wouldn't dat make you-"

"Choose your next words very carefully, Grog," Vex warned their tallest member in a sickly sweet tone that promised pain.

"Sniff. Sniff. Hrr," chuffed Trinket at a set of deep gouges in the rock.

Vex stood beside her faithful companion as she quickly determined to be tracks. Very large ones.

"Can you make them out?" Naruto asked, having found them earlier but couldn't make heads or tails of it and having found nothing else in the vicinity to indicate if it was nearby or not.

"Too muddy to discern," cursed the ranger of the group, "but judging by how it looks it appears it took to the air and made for the coast."

"Doesn't look like a balor track. Way too small, even when with an Enlarge spell on it. Any guesses on what we're dealing with? Chimera? Wyvern? Griffon? Manticore?" Naruto asked.

Vex and Vax shared a look but shook their heads, "Nothing at the moment. Think you can scout further ahead?"

Naruto nodded, and he was off like a shot.

"Is it me, or was that oddly specific?" Keyleth asked once Naruto was out of earshot.

"Specific?" Grog didn't know what she was referring to.

"I mean, the way he talked about the chimera, wyvern, griffon and manticore was like he was spouting random creatures. But when he talked about the balor, he sounded, I don't know, knowledgeable?" Keyleth stated.

"Now that you mention it, he was oddly specific. Think the kid met one and thought he could deal with it without knowing what it was?" Vax theorized.

"Lady Allura mentioned that when she found him, he was close to dead, and it was a miracle he survived. From what I remember of devils and demons, balors were said to be among the most dangerous and powerful of the tanar'ri. To kill one is a miracle, and to survive an encounter with one even more, as they delight in torture and suffering. To them, fleeing is among the greatest forms of insults and cowardice, so I doubt if he met one, it would flee or allow him to flee unscathed. Either he was very, very lucky, or he is more than he seems," Percy gave his two coppers worth.

"Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying this kid's a demon?" Scanlan asked, more than a bit worried, "Didn't Lady Allura say they tested him?"

"To see if he was a shadow monk. Maybe they were so focused they never bothered to test to see if he was a demon?"

"Come on, guys. If he was a demon-"

"We'd never know," Percy cut off Keyleth, "Demons, especially intelligent ones, have ways of masking themselves from most magics. You need special training or items to do so, like holy water."

"Which, I'm pretty sure, they would have done. Gods, Percy, the council calls him an elementian. They would have known if he was a demon."

"Could be he's a demon who met one, tortured them enough to get all the necessary information and then came up with a backstory," Percy countered.

"I've got to side with Keyleth here. I didn't sense anything demonic about him," Pike was certain that as a cleric of the Everlight she'd have sensed such a thing...right?

"Either way, let's be cautious and get this job over with. I've got a bad feeling," Vex ended the discussion for now and both she and her group began to move in the direction Naruto went.

The group moved for a good amount of time through the winding, rocky, and uneven terrain before they found another set of tracks and destroyed trees in a misty clearing. Naruto was nowhere in sight, but the one thing that did stand out the most was the fact that said tracks slowly began to shrink in size and shape until, to Vex's astonishment, "Now they look, human?"

"Human?" Vax inquired.

Vex went to elaborate, but a piercing pain lanced through her skull, "It's here! Get ready!"

The group did so and waited for what was to come as the bushes from the nearby forest began to rustle. The group was tense and armed, ready for whatever was to come their way, until the source ultimately revealed itself.

.

..

...

"Meh!"

"Bwahahaha! Get the fuck out! What a little lamb was behind all the mayhem? Oh, don't let that thing bite you, Vex," Grog laughed as the small animal bleated away.

But the pain in Vex's head never went away and Grog's laughter was quickly replaced when a giant claw unapologetically came down upon the small lamb and reduced it to a bloody paste. The creature came forward, and its giant, blue-scaled body greatly unnerved the group.

"Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Scanlan's crude words summed up what all of them were feeling before they were forced to dodge the creature's lightning breath. The devastating results weren't pretty as stone was sundered while trees were split or alight or both.

"I suggest we run!"

"Fuck dat! We fight! Raahhh!"

"Grog, you dumb, brave asshole!"

The goliath charged with the intent to split the beast in two was for naught as it casually backhanded him with a claw until a nearby cliff.

"Grog's down already? Oh, come on!"

The fight, if one could call it that, wasn't going well as they battled with the legendary creature. Keyleth was frozen in fear and unable to act. Scanlan, Percy and Vex's ranged attacks were proving ineffective. Grog was out for the count. Vax's daggers were no more than a tickle and Pike's shield couldn't hold up against the creature's casual yet powerful assault.

"Where's our fucking eighth?" Scanlan demanded as he dove behind a stump.

"The shit must have seen it and run off. And frankly, I can't fault him," Vax was still pissed, however.

The dragon bellowed once more as it charged its lightning breath but found its vision gone as a globe of darkness enveloped its head and blocked off all sight.

"Rasengan (Spiralling Sphere)!" shouted a voice.

The dragon retaliated swiftly. Its vision gone, but it was a creature of legend and had more ways to find prey, even with one of its senses cut off. Pain shot through its claw as it made contact, and it bellowed in fury, but the source of it was sent flying and slammed hard into Pike and the globe of darkness began fading away like fine mist.

"That hurt," a voice groaned.

"Naruto?" many voiced.

"Get off me!" Pike groaned from the weight.

"Where were you?"

"Not the time!" Vex ordered, as another breath of lightning split the earth into. Naruto grabbed Pike and hauled ass while Keyleth finally snapped out of her frightened state to call down a bolt of lightning from the sky.

"Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't dragons immune to the element they use?" Naruto vaguely recalled as they regrouped. His answer was given in the form of an unharmed dragon giving off its version of a mocking laugh, "Why does me being right always bite me in the ass?!"

"Did I just make it worse?!" Keyleth asked.

"Sure as hell didn't make it better!"

"Anyone got any more tricks?" Vax asked, hopeful.

"I do," Naruto reached behind him, but his hand grabbed nothing, and as he looked around, he saw his scroll and pouch were beneath the creature and grimaced, "Scratch that."

"What about your Darkness spell?" Pike asked.

"Not something I can do whenever I want," Naruto said, and she released a frustrated growl.

The blond couldn't fault her, but it was out of his control; his ability to use the Darkness spell was limited and he generally could only perform it once or twice a day. The Rasengan was a close-range ability, and while it did hurt the dragon, the damn thing was fast for its size and it took too long to make. With the ground wet from the rain, Naruto didn't fancy losing his balance and falling off the cliff or face-first on the ground and giving it the opportunity of turning him into a bloody paste like the lamb. Feeling he had no option, the blond's face scrunched up as he hesitantly reached for his headband.

The blue dragon, however, roared once again and Naruto along with several froze as it readied another breath attack. But as Pike shielded the group with her divine shield, the dragon instead decided on another target: the cliff above them. An avalanche of earth and stone fell upon them as the deadly lightning tore through it. Death from above struck and landed all around them as they became buried under heavy stone and dirt. The malevolent reptile approached the rubble but found only the limb arm of Grog. With a satisfied growl, it soon took to the sky, its mighty wings lifting it off the ground and within moments it was flying into the horizon.

Had it stayed, it would have realized its prey was far from dead. Hurt, yes, but still very much alive.

"Ugh. Ugh. Get, get me out! I'm trapped under Grog's ass!" said the voice of Scanlan.

With an incredible feat of physical strength and magic, Grog and Keyleth moved the boulders that kept them buried under who knows how many tons of stone and earth. Grog and Trinket were the first to exit the rubble, while the rest of them were dog-piled.

"So, this is what it feels like to-"

"Kyaa!"

The group winced at the scream that tore from Keyleth's throat as she scrambled out of the rubble backwards. Her staff shaking in her hands, her expression one of fear. The group looked behind them and watched wide-eyed as a pair of black and red-eyed slits that shone like hellfire pierced through the darkness.

"Whoa, fuck!" Scanlan scrambled out, followed by Vex, Vac and finally Percy.

The group were scared as the figure crawled out and they realized it was their newest addition.

"Naruto?"

"What the fuck?!"

"So, you are a demon," Vax readied his daggers.

"Don't call me that!" Naruto shouted as his hands scrambled and pulled away stone from stone, and he cursed.

"Really? Sure, have the eyes of one," Scanlan said, from behind Vex.

"So do tieflings," Naruto countered with a growl, "Where is it? Where is it?!"

"Pike, stop-" Grog reached out to stop her but winced as his injury flared up.

The gnome bent down and looked Naruto straight in the eye before she pulled away some stones and grabbed what he was looking for.

"Thank you," Naruto grabbed the headband and wrapped it around his head and covered his eyes.

"You okay?" the cleric asked.

"No, not really. I hate these bloody things," Naruto told them.

"You hate your eyes?"

"My eyes? No. These, however," Naruto scowled, and the implications struck them like the blue dragon's breath attack.

"Well, shit, I feel like an asshole," Scanlan admitted with a downcast look.

"At least you didn't call him a demon," Vax felt worse.

"What? I don't get it?" Grog asked.

"Believe me, big guy. It's better if you don't," Vax told him.

"Okay. Um, not a big deal or nothin' but, uh, is this normal?" Grog lifted his hand and showed them a nasty wound that involved bone and spurting blood.

"Oh, gods!"

"I'm gonna be sick!"

"I got ya, buddies," Pike quickly appeared by his side, her hands aglow as she focused hard on healing her friend's grievous wound. It worked, but the act left her panting and utterly drained.

"Thanks, Pikey. You're the best," smiled the simple giant.

"Shit. That, that took a lot outta me," Pike swayed and had to be caught by Scanlan as a result.

"That dragon..we..we almost died," said a scared Keyleth.

"But we didn't thanks to you, Keyleth," Pike reassured her scared friend.

"Alright, fuck Uriel and all of this. No reward is worth dealing with a fucking dragon of all things. We're done here," Vax told the group and many agreed.

"Must I remind you we gave the council our word? That should probably be worth something," Percy reminded the half-elf.

"Oh, he gives a soggy anus about the council. The only word I care about is 'Scanlan Shorthalt'. And yes, I know that's two words, but you know what I'm saying."

"Sorry, but dragon or no dragon, I'm going after it," said Naruto as he gathered his scrolls, scowling as one of them was beyond use.

"You're crazy. We've fought a lot of things, but a dragon, an actual dragon?" Keyleth, still reeling from their encounter, couldn't believe Naruto.

"My mentor once told me something and it's been stuck with me ever since: those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash. Allura helped me when I wasn't in a good place. She was patient with me. I owe her much, and if I just walk away from this after all that, after knowing what this thing has been doing to people, I'll never be able to live with myself. And I don't run away. I never go back on my word. That's my nindo," Naruto passionately told them.

"Nindo?"

"Ninja way. Basically how we shinobi choose to live our lives," Naruto summarized.

"He's right. It's not just about the council or the contract. It's the people. They need us," Pike agreed with Naruto.

"This is why I hate travelling with holy people," was an exasperated Percy's reply, "You're too gods damned good."

"Pike...this creature is beyond us. When Vax and I were young, we lost our mother to one of those monsters. I've studied dragons my whole life to see if I can find it again. I can...sense when they are near, like a horrid wound in my head," Vex told the cleric.

"Then it's settled. We go back to Emon and cancel the contract with the council-"

"You don't understand, Percy. I felt the exact same thing back in Emon. Back when we met the council," Vex admitted.

"Hold on, are you saying you felt this before and you're just telling us now?" Scanlan accused.

"I'm sorry. I...I wasn't sure until we saw the creature. I...it's been years since...since," Vex couldn't stop the tears as the memories of the most horrible night of her life came flooding back.

"Are you sure, Vex'ahlia?"

"I'm sure, brother. Someone on the council must have been in contact with the dragon or...or I don't know. But I'm sure it was real," Vex was unwavering in her response.

"Then it's settled. You all heard her, one of them could be working with that monster. We get out of here as far as possible and never set foot in Emon again. Can we all agree on that?"

"Speak for yourself. You wanna run. Go ahead. But I'm going back and warning Allura. If that dragon or someone working for it is on the council, she needs to be warned."

"Use your head, you dumb shit. For all we know Allura could be the one-"

"You guys don't know her like I do. I'm not gonna sit around and do nothing. You guys can do whatever you want," Naruto cut off Vax and glared at the group but said nothing more as he began walking awa, far away, from Vox Machina.

"Fucking idiot," Vax mutterred.

"No, loyal," said Pike, who went after him.

"Pike? Hey, Pike!" Grog chased after her.

The remaining members watched them go but said nothing as the rain pouring down on them intensified.

"Naruto? Naruto!" Pike called out, huffing all the while.

But Naruto was too far and leaping from tree to tree until he was out of sight.

"I gotcha," the tired gnome found herself hauled up onto the goliath's shoulders, and she sighed when she realized they'd have no hope of catching up to Naruto.

Naruto, for his part, looked ahead as he jumped from one tree branch to another. A glowing hum at his side caught the corner of his eye, and his eyes narrowed.

"I know," Naruto answered and then frowned, "Yeah, well, what else is new?"

Naruto understood why Vox Machina, except for Pike, wanted to leave. Dragons were a big deal and not to be taken lightly. He had never encountered one before but he did hear about them from Allura. Dealing with them was no easy feat, apparently, as she had lost companions to an exceptionally powerful one during her adventuring days and the group was well-renowned. The older they were, the more powerful and dangerous a dragon became. Taking one on required careful preparation, skill, and no small amount of luck. Only the exceptionally powerful individual could solo a dragon.

Or an exceptionally powerful being.

Naruto winced as the light at his side shone even brighter, "I don't like it either, but what choice do we have? This thing is killing left and right, and I can't just let it happen. If you have a better idea, I'd like to hear it."

Naruto received no response.

"Yeah, figured as much," Naruto said nothing more and merely focused on his task.

When the trees started being too far apart from one another, Naruto jumped to the ground and began to jog at a leisurely pace. The ground was too wet and muddy from the rain for him to run like before and the ground for the next bit would be going on a downward slope. Naruto didn't fancy on becoming a pancake. But as time passed by and he got closer and closer to the bottom of the hill, Naruto's nose caught the scent before his eyes saw it.

Smoke.

Smoke and blood.

"No. No, no, no, no," Naruto repeated over and over as he ran, uncaring if he tripped or fell from the water and mud that caked his shoes.

He hoped he was wrong. He hoped he was wrong and that a spell or his senses were playing tricks on him. He hoped dearly for it to be true. But Naruto should have known life, even in a fantastic new world such as this one, didn't always give the fairy ending one desired.

The village was no longer. What few remaining homes that stood were barely livable thanks to the damage. Smoke rose and embers sizzled from the rain of destroyed houses. Deep trenches from claw marks. Animals were crushed, chewed or torn in half, and the villagers weren't any better off. Naruto shuddered at the sight and his pulse began to race and his eyes began to redden even more than.

"Gi...i..."

Naruto shook his head to ward off the faint voice.

"Shut up."

"Giv... in..."

"Shut up!"

"Give in!"

"Shut up!" Naruto commanded, a faint shroud of red shimmered into existence around his form.

The glow at his side intensified but even then it took effort to stave off the darkness that desired his loss of control. The light and the darkness waged and pushed one another back and forth. Naruto did what he usually did in such situation and began thinking of happy memories like when Allura took him under her wing and when Kima trained him on how to use a sword, and the times she chased him whenever she fell victim to his pranks after being too much of a stuck in the mud. The shroud of crimson slowly receded alongside the voice that tried tempting him until all that remained was the soft glow at his side.

"Thanks," Naruto said with a shudder, and the glow warbled and intensified for but a moment before it died.

The blond took steady breaths for good measure before focusing. In a moment such as this, Naruto sorely wished he had access to his clones once more but was forced to search the old fashion way: one at a time. Each house he search, each area he combed and every rubble he moved came up fruitless until, after nearly an hour of searching, Naruto found a survivor.

Calling him one was pushing it thought.

The boy Naruto held was dying and he sorely wished he had a potion on him. But given his healing factor because of the Kyubi, Naruto didn't generally carry them. He wished he did. So now he was forced to run as quickly as he could back on the trail he and Vox Machina used to reach the dragon.

"Come on, kid. Hang in there. Just-Pike!" Naruto shouted as he saw the group ahead and upped his speed as fast as he could without tripping.

"Naruto? What are-Holy fuck!" Pike got off Grog's shoulders as looked over the heavily wounded child.

"What happened?" Vex asked.

"Dragon attack," Naruto told her, "The village. The villagers. They're gone."

Vax's eyes widened as he recognized the child Pike was healing. The same child who gave them a lead.

"Shit! I'm...I'm still too weak from the fight, I-I can't," Pike's face said it all.

"Potion? Do any of you have a-"

"Naruto, he's gone," Percy reluctantly stated.

The blond looked down and saw that the child had indeed stopped breathing. Rage began to simmer within him but it didn't go far when a warbling sound came from his hip along with a light that prevented it from boiling over.

"Shit. Shit!" Naruto punched the muddy ground as he cursed. Vox Machina remained silent as Naruto vented and several of them had despondent looks as the child before them entered the eternal slumber.

"Is...is there anyone-"

"I looked," Naruto cut off Keyleth with a growl, "He was the only one left."

The ashari's face became further downcast at the revelation and only served to darken the mood even more as thunder rumbled overhead and cold rain poured over the broken group.

"We could have stopped this...Should have," Vax lamented and none could dispute his words.

The mood shifted suddenly as musical notes were heard and the group spotted the gnomish bard tuning his lute to the confusion of some and the anger of a few, "What the hell are you doing, Scanlan?"

Naruto scowled and looked ready to pummel the gnome until he heard his reply, "Thinking of a rhyme for dead dragon."

"What? Why?"

Scanlan looked at Naruto with sad but determined eyes, "'Cause I...I guess we're killing one."

"I'm in," Keyleth declared, "Uh, I mean, not gonna lie, I'm scared out of my mind. But yeah, I'm in."

"I don't like losin'...But now I'm feelin' things on the inside. They don't feel right. So, fuck yeah, I'm in."

"That was...actually well stated, Grog," Percy was surprised by the goliath.

"Wat was?"

"Oh, never mind. Count me in as well," Percy added.

One by one, the remaining members of Vox Machina expressed their intent to end the dragon. And by the end of it, the group had a shared goal and Naruto was honestly glad to see he was wrong about them.

"Well, you already know my feelings on the matter," Naruto's reply earned a light chuckle from the group, "Keyleth, you think you can-"

The ashari didn't let him finish as a vines slowly came up from the ground and wrapped around the boy's form like a cocoon before they gently and slowly pulled him down into the earth where he vanished. A small prayer was said by Pike and a moment of silence was held for the young boy they were unable to save, but the group vowed that no child would be killed by the dragon ever again.

Naruto want to give the other villagers a proper burial. He hated the idea of leaving them to crows and other creatures that would surely see their corpses as easy meals but when Percy reminded him that the council needed to be warned and quickly, the blond was forced to admit that the man's words were true. Time was critical and giving each villager a proper burial would take too long.

More than once did Naruto wish he could use Shadow Clones once more. Just thinking about it angered him.

It was the technique that helped him defeat Mizukin and earn him his headband, and defeat Kiba and Neji to advance in the Chunin exams. It was the technique that helped him defeat Gaara, and the technique that helped him learn the Rasengan.

And now it was out of his grasp.

And all because of...Naruto's thoughts turned dark, and he had to breathe in deeply as the light at his side shone once more to banish such thoughts.

"Give...give in," Naruto scowled and ignored the taunting voice that haunted his thoughts from time to time. As he and the group left the Shale Steps and made their way to Emon, his frown deepened when the voice released a mocking laugh.

However, after hours of travel, even with the enhanced sight of some of the group's members - torches were a no go due to due to the rain - the group realized they'd be unable to reach Emon until tomorrow morning. Naruto had stamina to boast and wasn't tired but the same couldn't be said about the others of the group. He could rush ahead and reach Emon in an hour under normal conditions, but the water walking didn't apply to muddy surfaces, or if it did he never got the chance to learn.

Heck, what Naruto wouldn't give to know how to perform the Body Flicker Technique. Even if it was a basic D-Rank technique meant for short bursts and distance, it was still an ability that would give him an even better edge in combat. It wasn't meant nor designed for long distance travel, but then Naruto wasn't exactly one to follow the rules and norms that others did.

"Alright, that's the camp set. Who wants first watch?"

"I'll do it," Naruto told them, "Doub't I'll get much sleep anyway."

"You sure?" Keyleth grunted when Vex elbowed her leg.

"Yeah, much as dislike 'em, these eyes work surprisingly well in the dark," maybe not as good as certain species but enough that it gave him an edge in the dark.

"Red-Eyes."

"Pardon?"

"The Red-Eyed Bounty Hunter. That's you, isn't it?" Vex asked, recalling

Naruto sighed but nodded, "Yeah. Earned it when I hunted down my share of bandits and highwaymen around Emon. I was still getting used to my headband covering them and it would fall off on occasion."

"Explains why the council believed you'd be an asset," many a bandit who managed to flee spread word, which eventually reached the ear of adventurers.

"So, uh, how did-"

"I'd rather not talk about it," Naruto quickly cut her off.

"Right. Sorry," Pike berated herself. Of course, it was a touchy subject.

"Um, eyes aside, do you mind me asking about your homeworld?" Keyleth inquired.

"What do you want to know?"

"Is it true that your people can-No, wait, you already explained that. Um, oh, what was your home like?"

"Konoha? A lot different than what we have here, to be sure. As big as Emon but a lot more modern. We have electricity, uh, lightning we harnessed to fuel and power things like stoves and heat our homes and other necessities. On our outskirts we have forests as far as the eye can see and some trees as tall if not taller than mountains."

"Sounds wonderful. Beat your life was perfect compared to here,"

"Um, well, it wasn't bad," Naruto was honest. His early life wasn't what he'd call a fairy tale childhood, "I was bit a prankster so I kinda earned myself a bit of a rep. Especially when I painted faces of the kage on Hokage Mountain."

"Hokage Mountain? That related to that Yondeime?"

" Yondaime It means Fourth. Hokage is basically the village leader. Basically, our strongest and most respected ninja. The Great Five Hidden Villages all have their own version. Konoha's surrounded by forests; Suna a desert; Kumo is mountains and clouds; Kiri's water and mists and oceans; and Iwa is rocky craglands, mines, and some volcanic regions. There are smaller countries but the Great Five are the most powerful. Anyway, the Fourth was the fastest ninja alive thanks to the Flying Thunder God Technique and because of him Konoha won the Third Shinobi World War. But he only held office for like a year, I think," Naruto couldn't recall the last detail.

"Corruption? Got a little too frisky with the ladies?" Scanlan asked.

"No. He died," Naruto admitted.

"Dat don't seem like something a strong leader would do," Grog pondered.

Naruto snorted, "See how you do against a giant walking calamity the size of a mountain that's been around for thousands of years."

"Dragon?" Vex inquired. It wasn't unheard of for them to do such a thing.

"Worse. In my world, there are nine giant creatures. We call them the Tailed Beasts."

"Don't every creature have tails?" Grog didn't understand the name.

"Not all of 'em buddies," Pike educated the loveable but dimwitted giant.

"They're called that because their tails are distinctive. Trust me, you meet one, either be well prepared or have a ton of luck. They're demons that have been around long before the hidden villages. Think that dragon was bad? Well, to put it another way, these guys are more like demon lords with the weakest of them being the One-Tailed Tanuki and the most powerful and dangerous was the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox. A swipe of just one of its tails can cause a hurricane, another causes tsunamis and another causes earthquakes."

"Hold up, you're saying demon lords lived where you came from?" Scanlan couldn't believe it.

"Trust me, we wished they didn't. Our place doesn't have a hell, as far as I know. No one knows where they came from. The ones with the least amount of tails can be dealt with by strong ninja but the stronger Biju were different. The Kyubi was different and way more powerful than the rest. The Yondaime Hokage died facing him, not because it killed him, but because he had no choice but to use a forbidden technique to deal with it."

"Forbidden technique? How forbidden we talking?"

"He called forth a god of death to seal it away," Naruto revealed.

"He called forth a god?!" many exclaimed.

"Holy fuck."

"Dat's baddass."

"How fucking strong are you people?"

"We're pretty freakin' awesome," Naruto grinned, "But much like here, anything usually beyond what you're allowed to do can have consequences. Summoning the Shinigami requires a lot of power and mental strength, and even then the price is high."

"It took his life as payment. Pretty high price I'd say," Vax added.

"Worse. My mentor said that anyone who uses the Dead Demon Consuming Seal to summon the Shinigami doesn't just sacrifice their life but their soul, too. The Shinigami devours it as payment, and its target, and they are trapped inside its stomach and forced to fight forever along with anyone else trapped there. No hell. No heaven. A fate worse then death."

"Everlight have mercy," Pike shuddered, hand clutching her holy symbol.

"Gods," Percy had difficulty wrapping his head around the notion.

"And that's why you don't fuck with gods. They'll fuck back just as hard, if not more," were Vax's words of wisdom.

"Not the religious type?"

"No," said the twin half-elves but neither elaborated.

"What 'bout you?" Pike asked suddenly.

"Me?"

"Doesn't your homeworld have one?"

"Not really," Naruto shook his head, "Sarutobi-jiji used to be called the God of Ninja because he was so powerful but he was just an ordinary human. My world had monks who believed in the Pure Lands and some old stories talked about gods but there was no religion around them," Naruto honestly couldn't recall any religion from his homeland.

"That's unfortunate. I'd be lost if I didn't have the Everlight," Pike smiled.

"You trying to convert me?"

"Is it working?"

"Nope."

"Damn."

A glow and sound at Naruto's side drew everyone's attention, "What's that?"

"Oh, that. Just my sword. It does that sometimes," Naruto said as if it was no big deal. The small sword glowed again and Naruto laughed a bit, "Yeah, they're cool."

"Who're you talking to?"

"The sword."

"... You're talking to the sword?"

"Yep."

"Does it talk back?"

"Well, obviously. I mean more with a feeling than words."

"The sword talks back to you with feelings?"

"That's what I just said."

.

..

...

"Whatever you're drinking, give me some," Scanlan broke the silence.

"Don't have any, and even if I did, I can't get drunk. Mom's family had crazy constitution, so getting drunk is pretty much impossible," well, that and it also had to do with the Kyubi inside him but they didn't need to know that, "Besides, how is it any weirder than her talking to plants?"

Naruto was pointing at Keyleth but most of Vox Machina looked at one another - forgetting about the glowing sword - and except for Percy, they grinned at the blond and Naruto blinked, "What?"

"Ho, boy, are we gonna have fun," Scanlan promised the blond. The gnome released a high-pitched squeal and fell to the ground holding his bruised boys, "Why?"

"You know why."

"Wha-That wasn't - cough, oh, Gods - a sexual innuendo."

Naruto deadpanned and looked at the group, "Anyone else believe that?"

"No," chorused the group.

"I rest my case," Naruto smirked at the downed gnome.

"Fuck. you. all," Scanlan groaned from his position.

"Anything else?"

"One thing, and it's pretty big, and I miss a lot."

"Family?"

"Orphan."

"Girlfriend?"

"Had a crush on someone growing up, but no."

"Guys, let him speak. What do you miss?"

"Indoor plumbing," ramen had been first but after spending time in a reality where relieving was either outdoors or in a bucket to be collected, indoor plumbing had quickly risen to the top.

"What's indoor plumbing?"

"A godsend," and Naruto wept as he explained.

By the end of it, Vox Machina very much understood why he missed it.

And Percy, years later, based on what he was told by his friend, would forever be grateful for the knowledge imparted.

As would countless others.

"You said you were prankster? Why'd you do that?" Keyleth asked curiously.

"Uh, that, well. Unfortunately, I was born on the night the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox attacked. Apparently my mother went into labour just as the Kyubi appeared. People lost a lot of family and friends that night and, I dunno, people were grieving and angry and drunk and looking for an outlet and I was the unlucky one. Word spread and for some reason or another a lot of people began blaming me for what happened."

"What?! How could they think that?" Keyleth was horrified by the revelation, "Who blames a newborn for something like that?"

"A few cultures in Exandria are like that, regrettably. Even our ancestors once thought that a child born on such a day was thought to be a calamity incarnate and believe they were a curse," Percy recalled, much as he thought it to be absolutely ludicrous.

"Yeah, well, by the time I got older, I began to notice people were avoiding me and, well, kids being kids took after their folks. And when I realized I had no parents like the rest of them, I started feeling lonely. After seeing people pay attention to troublemakers, I turned to pranks to get attention. It was the only time I didn't feel invisible, even if the attention I was getting wasn't the right kind,"

"Naruto-"

"Eh, but I'm fine, really. Over time they got over it. Got 'em to realize I was just another person like them. Took years of bustin' my ass off but I got there," Naruto smiled at them.

"You think about home often? About going back?" Keyleth asked and the mood quickly soured.

"...It's getting late, guys. Rest up while you can," Keyleth made to say something but Naruto had already gotten up and left to patrol.

"Well done, Keyleth. Well done," Vex rolled her eyes at the Ashari. She and Trinket both got up to find decent spot to sleep.

Vax frowned at his sister and gave Keyleth a sympathetic look but the ashari's downcast look remained.

She should have known better than to ask. Chances were that Naruto, like so many others of his kind, did indeed desire to return home.

Problem was, no one knew how to do it, and even then given how time worked in different realms and planes, everyone he knew was likely gone.

And Keyleth, having let curiosity get the best of her, just reminded him of that.

---

(Emon the Next Day; Tal'Dorei Council Chambers)​

"The beast is a blue dragon, sire. Myself and what few men I have left barely managed to survive the encounter," Krieg told the council.

"My gods. A dragon. Allura, you've dealt with them before. How do we fight it?" asked sovereign Uriel.

"Well, that was a red dragon years ago during my adventuring days. And even then, we suffered losses. But from what I know of them, dragons are fiercely intelligent, calculating creatures. Worst of all, blue dragons are generally considered the second strongest of the chromatic breed. Their machinations run deep," Allura educated the sovereign.

The sound of a door followed closely by footsteps interrupted the woman before she could continue, "Ah, Sir Fince finally joins us. I hope this crisis hasn't kept you from your skulking."

"I've been gathering information we sorely lack. Seems your band of fools have gone missing. Or died," Fince told the man.

"Fince!" Uriel cut off the council member, his eyes gazing to Allura and her downcast look.

"Apologies, sire. But we must accept the fact that Vox Machina and Allura's ward have been sent to their doom."

"Doom? We don't know the meaning of the word."

"Uh, I certainly don't."

"Naruto!" Allura appeared before the boy and fussed over him like an older sibling or a mother would a child despite him towering over her.

"Oh, yeah, no. We're fine. Thanks for asking," Vax quipped.

Allura promptly ignored him, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, mom," Naruto joked.

"She's his mom?!" Grog exclaimed, "Oh, no, dat don't make sense."

"Oh, thank, gods, he-"

"She's too old," Grog said sagely.

"Ooh," the men took a dozen steps back.

Allura had fire in her eyes as she looked at him, "I beg your pardon?"

"Wat? I wat I say?" Grog was confused, even more so when he saw the other menfolk far away from him, "Why are you so far?"

"Sorry, Grog, but you're on your own on this one. I shall remember you fondly in song," Scanlan spoke theatrically.

"Wha?"

"Hey, dipshits," Kima's voice cut through the idiocy, "We're in the middle of something here. We don't have time for morons and-"

"That's enough, Lady Kima," Uriel told the paladin before looking at Vox Machina and Naruto, "May I ask why you are here?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Hold onto your godsdamn crown, your highness. For we have just discovered the creature to be known other than... a blue dragon!" Scanlan finished after a dramatic pause.

"...We know," said the entire council.

Scanlan mopped. So much for that.

"Did you kill it?" Allura asked, eying Naruto.

"Unfortunately, no. Damn lizard caught us off guard. I only managed to hurt its claw. Barely. The area gave it an advantage," Naruto told her and then had an angry look, "It destroyed a village and everyone in it."

"Damn it," Uriel cursed at the news.

"Could be worse, lad. Dragons rarely leave their victims in one piece. You lot bein' alive is quite the feat. How'd you even survive?" Krieg asked, his tone impressed.

"Ah, ah. Trade secret, Kriegy."

"We hid and then it flew away," Percy casually stated.

"Come on!" Scanlan couldn't believe this.

"Allura-neechan. You and Kima-onee fought dragons before-"

Allura cut him off, "A red dragon, Naruto, not a blue one. I'm afraid my knowledge on them is quite limited by comparison. I do know this: blue dragons are reputed as the second strongest of the chromatic dragons. Their mastery of lightning and storms are quite frightening."

"Too bad for him, my element's wind," Naruto grinned. Lightning was bad ass, but weak against wind from what he recalled from Ero-sennin's scroll.

Allura cocked an eyebrow, "And do you by chance have any wind or air-based spells powerful enough to deal with its lightning breath?"

"I...don't," the blond hung his head in shame.

Due to his separation from Ero-sennin when he arrived in this reality, Naruto's training had been cut rather short so he only knew three official techniques that used the wind element: Great Breakthrough, Gale Palm, and the Chakra Flow. The scrolls he acquired from Uzushio and Jiraiya didn't really involve wind techniques, given their rarity outside of Kaze no Kuni and Naruto didn't really know how to make a new technique. Wind was inherently stronger but even then a stronger lightning technique could bypass that. Even if he poured more chakra into the Daitoppa, Naruto wasn't certain the effects would be as he desired Kima had said that even young dragons were tough sons of bitches, and as dragons got older, they became even bigger pains in the ass as their lightning became deadlier. Fortunately, as of last night, he had developed something that might deal with it.

"Perhaps, sire, we can appeal to the dragon. Gold in exchange for peace?" Naruto heard Fince say.

"You wanna reward it for killing people?!" Naruto looked ready to pummel the pale-looking man.

"I want to stop it from killing other people. Had you fools done as you were hired-"

"Fuck it. I'm breaking his legs," Naruto cut him off and began marching towards the man to deliver on his promise, Allura's hands weaving gestures to stop him.

"Enough!" Sovereign Uriel was tired of this.

"Sire, a dragon cannot be bartered with. If it desires Emon's destruction, it will not relent," Vex quickly told the ruler of Tal'Dorei.

"I'm afraid she's correct, Sovereign. Metallic dragons are one thing, proud and arrogant as some are said to be, but chromatic dragons are more than likely to stab us in the back or ask for more each time we don't want them to attack. We'd basically become its slaves," Allura added to Vex's point.

"Well, that's that then, sire. You know what must be done," Krieg looked to the ruler of Emon for further instruction.

"But what if it attacks while we're gone? We'll be sitting ducks," added the paladin of Bahamut.

"What would you have me do? Let it burn for farmland, slaughter more innocents? We'd eventually starve, riots will occur, and even more of my peoples' lives would perish. No. We will bring the fight to it, on our terms," Uriel declared. Kima began to retort but was forced to stand down and then ordered Vox Machina, Naruto included, to vacate the throne room.

"Well, that sucked," Naruto spoke after the guards closed the throne room's doors once more.

"You alright, Vex?" Vax asked, seeing his sister's pensive face.

"No. I felt it again. That same feeling had when were around the dragon. One of them is working with that fucker."

"Uh-huh. Uh-huh, yeah. I bet, it's Allura. I never trust anyone prettier than me," Scanlan said with Grog agreeing.

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't just hear that...Though you're not wrong to say she's prettier than you," Naruto grinned.

Scanlan retorted with a one-finger salute.

"No, you dipshits. Fince."

"The creepy one. Looked like a crinkled piece of scrap leather? Wasn't exactly our biggest fan and he's the one to suggest we pay off the dragon?" Percy added to Vex's comment.

"Oh! I didn't catch anybody's name," Grog admitted with a chuckle.

"So, what do we do next?" Keyleth asked.

"Pike and Vax go to Gilmore's. See if you can buy us a weapon that can kill a dragon while the rest of us keep a lookout for Fince and trail him," Vex ordered.

"With what? We're flat fucking broke," Vax admitted.

"Well, we are. But what 'bout him?" Grog looked at Naruto and so did the rest of Vox Machina.

"Say what now?"

Vex approached the tall blonde with a sultry look, "Come now, darling. Surely now's not the time to be frugal. We are, after all, talking about the safety of Emon and its people. I'm sure Sovereign Uriel would be more than glad to compensate on top of the reward we'll get for slaying the blue shit.

"Uh, I mean, I guess?"

Vex clapped her hands together and smiled, "Lovely. How much do you have?"

"Nine silver-"

Vox Machina groaned.

"And 4700 gold coins."

The set of eyes on him and the grins from several members had Naruto deadpan when he realized he'd be the group piggy bank.

"Don't I get a say in this?"

XxXxX​

"This is just like when I was with Ero-sennin," Naruto groused as he, Vax and Pike entered Gilmore's Glorious Good. The old perv was loaded but even that didn't stop him from taking his money.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"You have entered a realm of mystery, of magic, of marvel. Welcome to Gilmore's Glorious Goods!" exclaimed a flamboyant, handsome man with dark tan skin and a small paunch, "Enchanted curios and magical artifacts at discounted prices. I take gold, silver, platinum...Hah! Why if it isn't the mysterious Vax'ildan. Hohoho! I was hoping you'd swing back through aga-Oh, and who is this tall mysterious drink of water?"

"Uzumaki Naruto," the blond introduced himself.

"Ah, the elementian. We finally meet in person. Oh, my! Impressive physique, my boy. Oh, yes. Impressive indeed," Gilmore eyed the visible abs from Naruto's robe in admiration.

"Uh, right," Naruto closed the robe.

"You're fine turning into a naked woman, but him flirting with you embarrasses you?" Pike teased.

"Shaddup," was all Naruto could say.

"Aw, that's cute," Pike chuckled.

"Keep talking, and I'll turn myself into a naked version of you and streak throughout Emon," retorted the blond.

"...You're bluffing...right?"

"Henge!" a puff of white later and a naked Pike was standing in front of the trio, "Still think I'm joking?"

Pike gaped as her nude doppleganger spoke in her voice without a care in the world. But it wasn't just that.

"Is that a penis?" Shaun inquired.

"Yep."

"Why is there a penis?" Vax asked.

"'Cause I felt like it," the Pike transformed Naruto shrugged.

"Oh, Gods!" Pike closed her eyes, "Alright, alright! You made your point."

Poof!

"Don't mess with the prank master, baby," Naruto grinned at the blushing, embarrassed gnome.

"Entertaining as that was, and truly it was. Are you here on business or pleasure?" Gilmore conjured up various items, one of which was clearly a smut book with a half-orc and a tiefling based on the cover.

"Uh, business, I'm afraid. We need information on blue dragons. Particularly, how to kill them," Vax informed the man while Pike, surprisingly, couldn't help but read Tusk Love.

"Well, for 20,000 gold, I can sell you this handy-dandy magic Lance of Dragonslaying. A fantastic bargain," the man said. A conjured and ornate lance with a gold hilt appeared before them.

"I'm no expert or nothing, but that feels kinda, I dunno, cheap?" not that Naruto was complaining. The weapon looked pretty decent, even if they couldn't afford it.

"Well, it's not the most powerful variant, I'll admit. That would cost a king's ransom. But in the right hands, this little marvel will get the job done. And believe me, dear boy, 20,000 gold for such a weapon is indeed a bargain. Do we have a deal?"

"We, uh, can't presently afford such a weapon," Naruto snorted at Vax's words, "But perhaps some advice for a tiny fee?"

"Hopefully, what you're offering isn't too tiny?" Vax looked at Naruto and the blond sighed as he offered the man a handful of gold coins, "Oh, well, look at you. What do you need specifically?"

"We need to know if blue dragons have any weaknesses," Vax decided to cut to the chase.

"More specifically, how do we kill it?" Pike quickly added.

"Weaknesses, eh? Well, for starters, they're egomaniacs. They hate being insulted and have tremendous vanity. Not that I can relate. However, honestly, there's no easy way to slay a dragon. Their size alone, their senses, and fortitude greatly surpass most creatures, especially when fully grown. Lady Allura and Lady Kima were said to have defeated a powerful red one years ago, but, even then, I heard it cost them half the members of Mors Draconis and some other group that helped them if the rumours are true. Even in tomes of old, legends of a dragon's destruction are largely poetic drivel," a snap of his fingers had an old and dusty tome float down from the shelves and land before them. A quick blow to take off the dust and a quick scan allowed Gilmore to find the passage he vaguely recalled reading, "Ah, here it is. 'The Wyrm shall only find defeat in the gorge where the twin rivers meet.' See cute, but..."

"Useless," Vax concluded.

"Very much so. While dragon anatomy is very much a topic for many a scholar. Most who try and find more have the tendency of ending, snapped up? So to speak."

"Think we can ask Lady Allura and Kima about how they dealt with theirs?" Pike looked to the blond ninja.

"No need. Allura-neechan and Kima-onee already told. Their dragon was tough, tougher than a full grown red dragon should be. It was so bad they were forced to bind and banish it, and it took very special materials and time to do it, and even then they had to weaken it enough for it to work. I think they also had more than one spellcaster, too," and Naruto could honestly say that he wasn't anywhere proficient enough in fuinjutsu to seal away a being as powerful as an adult dragon. Slow it down with seals, perhaps under the right circumstances. Maybe bind and seal a young one, but wasn't like he could test that out, "Is there anything else?"

"Hmm, well, there might be," Shaun gave him a look and Naruto sighed once more as he dropped a few more gold coins.

"There is one another thing. Dragons, both metallic and chromatic, usually have a lair. Find the lair and, without a doubt, you'll find the dragon. But it's not that simple. Dragons have a severe advantage where they make their home. Such a place is in tune with the dragon who made it. But most of all, these lairs are where they keep their horde. Dragons are fiercely protective of their treasures and their clutch, and they'll guard them with their lives. Chromatic dragons, however, are a lot more dangerous in this regard since they especially covet gold and treasures with a dark and fierce desire compared to their metallic cousins. But one thing they both share, they'll only ever part with their treasures in certain circumstances. And unless you have the means of driving them off or, better yet, killing them, don't even think about stealing from them. You'll be chased down from now to eternity if you do, and chromatic dragons won't care about the destruction they leave in their wake to get back what was stolen."

"But if we really wanna piss it off something fierce," Naruto left the implications hanging.

Gilmore smirked, "Then by all means, messing with its treasure is the way to go. But if you do, best you know how to run and fast. And if not, pray your death is a swift one. Not that I would count on it. Few beings can slay a dragon, and usually when it does happen, it's because of another stronger dragon."

"Gilmore, this is all very useful. Even the bullshit. If we survive this, I owe you dinner."

"You owe me more than that, my handsome half-elf."

"Okay, you two, foreplay's over. Got anything we can afford that will give us an edge, or at least a fighting chance?" Pike inquired.

"That depends?"

"On what?"

"On how deep your pockets are, my boy," Gilmore grinned and winked at Naruto.

By the time they left, Naruto was left nearly 1600 gold coins poorer. The only saving grace was that Gilmore gave them a discount thanks to Vax and the certain 'promises' they both made.

XxXxX​

"Did you get a weapon?" Vex asked as the trio joined them.

"There was a dragon slaying lance," Pike answered.

"Great! Where is it?" Grog preferred his axe but he'd suck it up.

"Do I look like I'm made out of money?" Naruto was frugal but that didn't mean he was rich, "Couldn't afford it."

"Gods damn it. Did you at least get something?"

"A few arrows of different kinds, some blasting arrows, a dozen or so healing potions, a barkskin elixer for myself and eight potions of lightning resistance. Oh, and this is for you," Naruto passed Vex a parchment along with the arrows.

"Oh, darling, you shouldn't ha-Is this a bill?!" Vex'ahlia suddenly exclaimed.

"Yep. Don't kid yourself, you're not that good at flirting," Naruto told the gaping woman while Vax, Keyleth, Percy, and Pike snickered at the cheesed half-elf. Even Trinket released a noise akin to laughter.

"Hey!"

"Scanlan. Find anything?"

"More importantly, where's Grog?"

"And why do you have a sandwich?"

A short explanation later followed by a sprint across Emon to an area clearly meant for the wealthy or important individuals, or in Naruto's case, jumping from roof to roof at incredible speed, the seven of them quickly regrouped with Grog who, upon seeing Scanlan, quickly began devouring the sandwich with relish.

"Hmm. Study lock. Nothing a magical song can't handle. Open your backdoor, baby. Loosen your hinges, and I'll show you my key~" sang the bard. To no effect, "Huh, that usually works."

"What if I heat the metal and melted the lock?" Keleyth asked as she cast the spell.

Which was unfortunate for Scanlan whose hands were touching the heated metal and a stray spark ignited his silk shirt, "Ah! Atatata! What the hell, Keyleth?! This is imported silk!"

"The lock doesn't seem to be magical. I'm not sensing anything," Pike told the two, her eyes closed in concentration.

"Can you people do nothing right? It's just a damn-"

The door suddenly opened and the group prepared themselves, except for Grog who remained focused on his sandwich, only to blink when it revealed Naruto, "You coming or what?"

"Wait. How did you do that?"

"Bet it was some super secret ninja trick," Scanlan said all mystically.

"Not really. I just walked up the wall and opened the balcony door. It was unlocked," Naruto informed them.

"Seriously?"

"In my experience, people in areas like this tend not to lock certain doors because of how secure they think it is."

"Well, saves me the trouble of picking it. Any sight of our friend?" Vax asked.

"Uh, I thought he was our enemy?" Grog's question made some laugh and others sigh.

"No, but that," Naruto pointed to a door on the ground where the rug was upturned, "might be our best guess. Better hurry, when I landed on the carpet, it made a sound."

"Shit. Double time!" Vax ordered. The group forwent finesse and one by one dropped down into the cellar. But what they found was quite unexpected.

"Is that Fince?"

"Is he dead?"

Pike was the first to move towards the body, but a quick cursory check-up had her shaking her head, "He's gone."

"This doesn't make any sense. Look at the wound. This wasn't a trap that killed him. He was stabbed," Vex deduced.

"Ya think whoever owned this placed killed him but ran off when they realized who it was?"

"That would be even more worrying if true. I saw a portrait of General Krieg. I believe this is his home," Percy told the group.

"Krieg? Why would-"

"What better way to prevent suspicion than by being adamant about facing the foe. And with Emon sending out its army, and if Krieg is working with the dragon-"

"Then it'll know Emon's been left defenceless and ripe for the plucking. He played every one of us like chumps," finished Vax. The half-elf went to the body of Fince and began rummaging.

"Dude, come on," sure, Fince was an ass, but looting his corpse didn't feel right. Bandits and assholes that tried to kill you? That was different in Naruto's opinion.

"He might have something that...Well, shit," Vax suddenly said, his eyes firmly on a parchment.

"What is it?"

"Krieg might not be in league with the dragon, but he definitely wasn't helping Emon. He's been in contact with the Clasp," Vax frowned as he recalled his former 'comrades'.

"Oh, not those assholes," Naruto groaned.

"Met a few of them?"

"Yeah," Naruto groaned once more, "So, why was Krieg in contact with them?"

"What else? The Clasp deals in theft and assassinations. There are mentions of targets Krieg ordered them to deal with. Why? I can't figure out. None of them ring any bells. A few names are crossed out but not all of them. And this other parchment...I can't make heads or tails of it," Vax frowned as he tried to deduce.

"I do. It's infernal," Naruto scowled and his eyes briefly flashed red. If there were two things Naruto hated, it was assholes pretending to be allies that were ready to cut you down when the moment was right and demons.

"Infernal? As in the Hells?"

"Yeah, seen it more than once to recognize it," Naruto told them.

"So Krieg's been in contact with a bunch of wackjob assassins and possibly godsdamned demons. Lovely," Percy couldn't believe this day could get any worse.

"Save it for later. Look at the blood," Vex pointed at the darkened hallway. A series of drops were seen on the ground by those who had the eyes for it, "Judging by the pattern, it leads down this way."

Following the trail of blood, the group entered an opulent room filled with various books, chests, a spartan desk and a large portrait of a nude red dragonborn woman with her ass on full display.

"So, now what? I don't see an exit," voice the bard.

"Keen observation, Scanlan. If I were a traitor, I'd have some way of leaving without anyone else knowing. Spread out. Look for a fulcrum."

"A fuck room?"

"I mean, that's what I heard," snarked Vax.

"A lever. A switch. Grog, just go stand over there. And don't touch anything. Pike?"

"Already on it," the cleric grabbed her holy symbol that lit up with a golden glow along with her eyes, "Whoa. Guys, almost everything in here is magical. This might take a while."

"Well, in that case, yoink!"

"Yoink?" Pike inquired.

"Well, if he is in league with the dragon, and if all this decor's to go by, I'm pretty sure that's a safe bet, then there's no need for him keep this stuff, right?" Naruto told Pike, pocketing a small chest into a Bag of Holding.

"Kid's got a point," Vax smirked along with Vex as they did the same.

"Besides, on the off chance we're wrong, we can just return them."

"...Sure," Vax was less inclined to agree.

"Grog, stop being gross!"

Keyleth, having enough of Grog's ogling of the naked dragonborn woman, threw a book at the perverted goliath. The book found its mark and struck the back of Grog's thick skull with the book going through the portrait as it bounced off, the painting shimmering and rippling like water.

"Whoa, a portal. Nice work, Kiki," Vax smiled at the ashari.

"Oh, it was nothing," Keyleth blushed at the praise.

Though Vax's twin wasn't as impressed, "She threw a book at a head, it was nothing."

"Um, where's Naruto?"

"Wasn't he just here?"

"Oh, he went through the painting," Grog casually told them.

"What? Why would-aghh! Can't...move... Pike?" Scanlan asked with a groan.

"Kinda...busy..." Pike groaned as well.

"What...the...fuck?" Vex cursed.

"Must...have...used...spell...Can't...break...free."

"So...pissed!" growled a groaning Grog.

Elsewhere, Naruto looked back at the portal he just came through, "Sorry, guys. You'll only get in the way," and for what the blond was to do next, the ninja didn't want them to see.

The ground had cracks and edges here and there along with some areas being covered in ice, but fortunately it didn't cover the entire cave and it appeared relatively flat. But what truly count Naruto's eye was the piles of treasure seen stretching out in a cold ice cavern. If Naruto recalled correctly, Gilmore had said dragons were fiercely protective of their hoard. And with a grin that promised absolute mischief, Naruto grabbed his Bag of Holding and got to work.

XxXxX​

"Lady Allura, Lady Kima, thank you both for coming," Uriel told the two.

"How might we be of service, Sovereign?" Allura asked the ruler of Tal'Dorei.

"This dragon business isn't something to be taken lightly. We'll need every able body if we have a chance of succeeding."

Kima frowned, "Even that might not be enough," the halfling could already imagine the mountain of corpses and the smell of burnt flesh as she once experienced years ago. Different dragon, same results.

"I was wondering, given your relationship with the boy, if you'd be willing to ask Naruto if he could assist us."

"Sire?"

"What about Vox Machina?"

Uriel sighed, "Vox Machina is an adventuring party with no ties to Emon. Their numbers would be useful, but I doubt they'd join us."

"So you want us to use our relationship with the kid to see if he'd help us?" Kima asked.

"The boy is unconventional, highly unconventional, but his skills are without question. Do you believe you do it?" Allura looked to Kima and gave her lover a look and seeing their looks, the ruler of Emon spoke once again, "I understand you two are close to the boy and your hesitance-"

"It's not that. It's...Hah...Sire, can we have the room?"

Uriel's eyes narrowed slightly and, under normal circumstances, such a request would be denied, but given who they were, Uriel allowed it. With but a simple wave of his hand, the power behind it dismissed the guards and once the door closed Allura began.

"Sire, exactly what do you know about Naruto?"

"Aside from what you've told me, very little. An elementian you found alone, heavily wounded to the point of death and lost on the outskirts of Vassalheim," Uriel recalled.

"That was a...half-truth?" Allura forced herself to admit.

"Explain," Uriel frowned.

"Naruto was heavily wounded and practically near dead but we didn't explain exactly how he was near death."

"I was left under the impression it was due to whatever brought the poor boy to Exandria."

"Believe me, Sovereign. It would have been a hell of a lot better," and boy did Kima wish it were the case.

"What do you mean?'

"When we found him, bloodied and injured and near dead, his flesh was already starting to knit itself back together-

"He can regenerate? Is it common among his kind?" outside of certain monsters such as trolls, naturally occurring regeneration of that caliber was an exceptionally rare gift for a human to have without the aid of spells and magical items.

"It's a unique gift he's had since birth," Allura admitted, "But that wasn't where I was going with this. When we found him we also found the corpse of demons."

"Demons?"

"We're not talking just small fry like lemures, dretches, manes or imps. We saw cambions, erinyes, hellwasps, abishai-"

"But worst were a balor that looked like it was torn in half, missing an arm, a shattered leg, a ripped off tail and it's face and skull," Kima stopped herself from shuddering at the memory, "its face and skull looked like it was bitten off, chewed up and spat out."

Uriel was no expert on demonology but an old family incident involving them gave him decent enough knowledge to recall those were some of the more stronger of demon and devilkind, "Gods...are you saying-"

"Naruto isn't a danger, sire," Allura was quick to tell him, "Of that, I made absolutely certain. He's just a young man. Alone but protective of those who he believed earned it."

"And that's the biggest crutch. Kid can be a pain but his heart's in the right place, even if his brain isn't always. No, thing is he's got a hero complex. He's willing to put himself at risk so others can be safe. And in a pinch, he has this ability that allowed him to deal with the demons and devils."

"And this is bad, how? Surely it would be useful against a dragon if he managed to deal with demons an devils," Uriel was failing to understand their hesitance.

"He hates using it," Allura informed him, "This...ability grants him great power, so long as he can control it."

"Control it?"

"Yes, Sovereign. Naruto gets stronger when he uses it. But there are risks."

"If the kid loses control, if he can't maintain the power, if he lets his emotions get the best of him, that power becomes a double-edge sword. He'll become a danger to himself and everyone around him regardless if it's allies or enemies. And if he goes off the deep end-"

"Then we're in deep shit, as some would say, Sovereign," Allura finished.

"And, how likely is that to happen?"

"At the moment, we're good. Kid's tough, unnaturally tough, and so long as he keeps that sword with him, we shouldn't have a lot to worry about. It's enchanted to help him keep his cool, for the most part."

"And should he be separated from it?"

Kima and Allura frowned at the thought, "He'll be able to hold out, but if he goes too long without it, he'll be more prone to give in to his more...volatile instincts."

"And if that starts to happen, someone needs to get that sword back in his hands asap, or gods help us otherwise," Kima couldn't suppress a shudder as she recalled a certain incident.

Uriel was pensive as he processed all of this, "How strong would he become were he to lose complete control?"

"So far we haven't seen the full extent, and pray to the gods that we never do, but likely it would be enough to allow him to handle the dragon by himself. This power he wields is as much a curse as a it is a gift," and knowing what was inside him, having been confided in by the boy over a year ago, Allura could honestly say that was an apt assessment.

And while Allura was part of the Council of Tal'Dorei and should make her Sovereign and her fellow council members aware of it, she and Kima agreed that the origin of Naruto's accursed power was just one of the secrets only he could explain in full and otherwise best kept to themselves.

XxXxX​

"When I get my hands on that little shit, I'm ripping him in two!"

"Don't you mean split?"

"No!"

"Get in line, Grog," Vex wasn't Naruto's biggest fan at the moment.

"I said it before, but thanks again for the save, Pike. My ass was starting to fall cramp," Scanlan joined in

"Don't worry. Worry about Naruto," said the cleric.

"Fuck dat! Only thing I'm gonna do-"

"Focus, Grog. Angry as I am, I for one would like to know why-"

"HHHRRRRREEEEEAAAAH!" none in Vox Machina said a word, paralyzed as they were by the horrifyingly dark, shrill, rasping howl. The cavern shook in protest and many stalactites fell and along with icicles that didn't shatter from the otherworldly noise.

"W-what the fuck was that?!" Keyleth shook like a leaf.

"Definitely not the dragon," Percy answered, calm and composed, even if his hand shook.

"Rasengan (Spiralling Sphere)!"

"Naruto?"

"What is that dumb shit thinking?"

"Raahgghhh! You damn whelp! Stand still while I feast on your bones!"

"Hehehe. Catch me if you can, you overgrown gecko!"

"Best guess: pissing off an already pissed dragon," Scanlan answered. They couldn't see Naruto but it wasn't hard to spot the very large dragon hanging from cavern's ceiling.

"That was rheto-Never mind. Better save him befo-Grog?!"

"What?" the goliath, who was busy piling treasure into the group's Bag of Holding, looked up.

"Love the enthusiasm but not the time, buddies," Pike explained.

"Raaaghhh!"

"Take cover!"

Lightning lanced through the cavern that rocked and caused stalactites from above to fall and split the rivers and mounds of treasure and stone below. Percy chanced a look from his hiding place and saw a figure enveloped in a red aura bounce and roll across the cavern floor. The noble of Vox Machina quickly recognized it as Naruto but his appearance left him and the rest stunned by his significant transformation.

"What in the world?"

"That certainly isn't normal."

"That shroud around him. It's so dark," Pike couldn't take her eyes off it.

"Ancient, primal, angry," Keyleth added with a shudder, "Extremely angry."

"How 'bout we worry about it later and focus on that," Vex gestured to the blue dragon that came there way.

See the evil being make his way towards him, Naruto grinned darkly, "Hehehe. That all you got, Krieg?"

"Krieg?!"

Both Naruto and the now revealed Krieg looked at source of the unexpected noise and saw the tallest member of Vox Machina doing a poor job of hiding than usual.

"Well, done, you giant oaf," Percy sighed at the man's stupidity.

"Oops," was all the goliath could say.

"What the f-Gahhh!" Naruto grunted and felt the Kyubi's power slip curtesy of Brimscythe taking advantage of his momentary distraction to slam his powerful tail and send the blond crashing into a wall of rock.

"More mice in my lair?! No matter. You shits won't leave here alive!"

"Bail!" Scanlan shouted the moment he saw the build up of lightning in the dragon's throat. Vox Machina split off in various directions but Pike unfortunately had the misfortune of slipping on ice and Brimscythe capitalized on the opportunity.

"Pike!" Grog shouted as he saw the lightning began to close in on his best friend.

"Fūrai Hōin (Lightning Sealing Method)!"

The lightning breath failed to find its mark. Pike looked up behind her glowing shield to see Naruto standing before her. A large scroll was unfurled and black symbols of unknown origin danced around him and the parchment as the legendary creature's most well known ability was being blocked. No. Not blocked, Pike realized. Absorbed. The parchment was somehow absorbing the element into itself.

And, in what felt like forever, the attack ceased and the scroll closed itself up. Seeing his attempt to end both of them ending in failure, Brimscythe roared at them and lunged but found his vision clouded in white and his prey no where to be seen.

"Thanks for the save," Pike told Naruto from their new hiding spot. The gnome couldn't help herself from adding, "Nice hair, too."

"Yeah," Naruto coughed, his hair messed up thanks to the lightning, his clothes singed and the smell of burnt hair entered his nose, "Still working on that."

"You alright?" Pike wondered if he needed healing.

"I'm fine. Bad news is I only have the one scroll to pull that off," the other was destroyed during their first encounter with the overgrown sonovabitch, "Hey! If you haven't already, now'd be a good time as ever to chug those potions?"

"Don't have to tell me twice," Scanlan was quick to pop the cork and down the blue liquid after hearing the blond shout. The rest of Vox Machina quickly followed suit before some were forced to dodge away from a lunging Krieg.

"Irritating insects! One or eight, it matters not; you'll all fall before the mighty Brimscythe!"

"Talking 'bout himself in the first person. What an ego," Naruto quipped.

"You're one to talk. What were you thinking, taking him on alone?" Vex reprimanded as she and Vax joined them.

"I was thinking I could handle him and prevent you guys from getting hurt or worse!"

"Oh, well done. Brilliant plant. You honestly believed you could handle a dragon by yourself?"

"Under the right circumstances!" which wasn't the case anymore given the risk his state could pose to the group.

"You stupid, arrogant, little shit!"

"Can you save the sweet talk till after we kill this sonvabitch?!" cried Scanlan when Brimscythe brought down a claw on his position, "Scanlan's Hand!"

The giant purple hand barely lasted a second but it was enough to buy the gnome time to get out of the deadly claw's reach and prevented a painful death. He was meant to die in an orgy with beautiful people, damn it!

"This is getting us nowhere. Vax! Did Gilmore give you any insight on how to kill this thing, or did you flirt the whole time?!" Percy demanded, shooting at the airborn dragon and failing to get a clean shot.

"Shit! Right, right. Uh, dragons are vain, arrogant, egotistical-ah!" Vax and Vex were forced to dodge as Brimscythe came through a darkened hole behind them.

"I know that already, I studied them, remember!" Vex told her twin, "What else?"

"Dragons are very protective of their treasure!" Naruto replied.

"Did either of you learn something useful I don't already know?!"

"Doesn't matter. We can't do shit while it's in the air.

"This is why I wanted to take it on alone!" much as he hated using the Kyubi's power, at least then he wouldn't have to worry about others getting caught in the crossfire.

"And what a marvellous job you've done so far!"

"Wait! I've got it! We have to get it on the ground!"

"On it! And I've got just the thing that'll piss him off," Naruto would have to time it right or Krieg or whatever the hell this douche called himself would be picking Uzumaki bones out of his teeth.

"You wanna piss it off?! You're insane!"

"Probably. Wait for my signal."

"Signal? What are-And he's gone, again," Scanlan deadpanned.

"Leave him. Forgot fighting as one. It's time we do what we do best."

"What? We don't have a best. We just fuck shit up and make shit up on the fly!" cried Keyleth.

"Exactly!" smirked Vex, "And as pissed as I am, I say we wait for him to pull whatever stunt he's about to do."

"Oh, right, like that'll work. What's he gonna do that we can't do?"

"Hey! Scalebutt! Wanna see a magic trick?" Naruto grinned as he unfurled a scroll and placed it upon a mound of gold and trinkets, "Fuin!"

Brimscyth's eyes widened and his fury rocked his lair as a sizeable chunk of his treasure vanished the moment the black ink formula spread out from the scroll and onto the dragon's horde in a wide radius.

"...That'll do it," Scanlan stood corrected.

"Talk about balls."

"YOU. WILL. BURN!"

"Yep. Got his attention," Naruto put away the scroll and made the wise decision to run as fast as he could, "Feet don't fail me now!"

Only to trip on a crack in the stone previously covered by treasure.

"Oh, shit!"

Crunch!

Vox Machina bore aghast and angry looks as Brimscythe's jaws made short work of the blond elementian. The dragon released a dark and satisfying chuckle as he chewed on the annoying morsel that was once Uzumaki Naruto. But satisfaction soon turned to confusion. Instead of the coppery taste of blood, Brimscythe felt nothing but the cold feel of metal and... smoke?

"Psych!"

The blue dragon's head spun in disbelief along that of Vox Machina, the latter relieved to see him alive. Brimscythe's previously thought meal waving at him from a different mound of treasure that disappeared in a manner similar to the last. The dragon charged at the infuriating being bug, in his anger, forgot about the smoke he previously tasted.

Naruto merely had his hand in the rat seal, and smirked as Brimscythe charged at him, "Boom!"

Pain exploded from the dragon's mouth along with blood and bone as the explosive seals did their work. Brimscythe gurgled blood as his jaw became a mess, or what remained of it. Brimscyth's cursing was no more than wet unintelligible gurgling as a portion of his upper jaw was a destroyed mangled mess, his left nostril gone, along with most of his tongue, while more than half of his bottom jaw's teeth were gone as the jaw looked limp and unhinged as a result of the explosion.

"Holy shit. Couldn't have used it the last time we fought him?!"

"That took my entire supply of exploding seals. Better late than never!" well, that and he had dropped his scrolls and pouch during their last fight. Drawing his short sword, which glowed white and made the dragon cringe, Naruto declared, "Can we kill this asshole already?"

"You heard him! Get the fucker while he's down!"

One by one the group did what they could agaisnt the now heavily weakened dragon. Brimscythe's roar caused it more pain and came out as a loud gurgling wet rasping akin to a very bad cough. But even then, that didn't stop the lightning from forming in its mouth and didn't prevent the use of its wings. The Darkness that suddenly covered blanketed his vision along with the roots and thorny vines erupting from the cavern floor summoned by Keyleth followed by Percy shooting down a large stalactite to fall on its wing did put a hamper in such plans.

Naruto ran underneath the flailing creature, narrowly avoiding being stepped on and began jumping towards its undamaged wing. Using Ninpo: Chakura Nagashi (Ninja Art: Chakra Flow), the energy of his homeworld wrapped around the blade and within seconds a blue aura enveloped the weapon and amplified the weapon's sharpness.

Naruto lacked the strength to cut off the wing entirely, a different story perhaps if using the Kyubi's chakra, but with the shortsword enveloped in his chakra it was enough to cut deep into the wing's membrane and the metacarpal. Brimscythe shook and raged in agony, throwing Naruto off the wing but by then the deed was already done. Ttwo-thirds of the wing had become useless and it was clear it was no longer capable for flight without impressive healing magic.

Blinded by the pain and loss of its wing, Brimscythe was ill-prepared to stop Vax, thrown by Scanlan's magical hand, from cutting deep into his beck and throat, heavily injuring and affected its ability to use its lightning breath. The severe wounds and its immobile form allowed Vex the perfect opportunity to shoot a blasting arrow into the wound and effectively severe its breath ability entirely.

Furious and in pain caused by what it viewed as lesser beings, Brimscythe bellowed as best it could given the state of its jaw, "Irl sndr r ons!"

"Oh, how the tables have turned. And look who's finally nice and low," smirked Vex.

Grog, his weapon enhanced by Pike's magic, grinned a nasty grin that promised pain of the highest order, "I. Would Like. To. RAAAAAGGGGEEEE!"

With swollen muscles and feet that buckled the ground with each step and leap, Grog charged at the heavily wounded dragon like the madman he was. Brimscythe, whether out of wounded pride, stupidity or blinded by pain met the goliath's charge. Jaws wide, or as wide as it could get them, Grimscythe felt pain for the last time before Grog's enhanced axe split its skull in two. Lightning arched and danced around the legendary creature and Grog. Dust clouded everyone's vision before finally settling to show the corpse of the dragon and a singed, bloody but still okay Grog.

"Uh, is he dead?" Grog asked.

"If he isn't he's wishing for it," Naruto quipped with a grin.

"Holy shit. We, we did it! We won!" Keyleth was still trying to wrap her head around it.

"Who would have thought being a bunch of assholes would have its merits?" Percy couldn't stop smiling at the thought.

"Nghhh! Hah!" Grog grunted before a tooth from the deceased Grimscythe finally came loose, "Proof we killed the scaly turd."

"Huh. You know, you're a lot smarter than I thought, Grog," Scanlan was pleasantly surprised.

"Yep. I'm a genius," grinned the goliath.

"Not a bad idea. Kima said dragon parts can be made into useful-" whatever Naruto was going to say couldn't be finished as the cave began to shake and shudder and split. Stalactites fell along with stone in a heavy shower of death, "Aw, man!"

"Ah, fuck this day."

"Exit strategy?"

"Run?!" Vex suggested, arms filled with a small amount of treasure.

The rest of Vox Machina followed her example as they made for the portal. Naruto tried to pry off one of the dragon's horns but it didn't give way and he cursed upon being forced to abandon his efforts when the cavern ceiling began raining down upon the deceased dragon. The blond quickly caught up with the group, snagging up a small chest that Scanlan had dropped and went through the portal with time to spare.

(Emon Sometime Later)​

"Vox Machina, Uzumaki Naruto, for your selfless heroism, I proclaim you all protectors of the realm, and honourary members of the Council of Tal'Dorei," Uriel proclaimed, earning stunned looks from the group, "I know. I can hardly believe it myself."

While the council chuckled lightly, Percy sighed in relief, "Oh, how I've missed respectability."

"Yes, yes, that's all well and good but wheres...Ah! There we are," Vex stopped when the chest holding their reward was placed in front of them.

Scanlan, Vex and Vax had eager, greedy looks as they opened the chest to reveal...a scroll and keys?

"The shit? Keys? Parchment? Where's our reward?"

"You're looking at it. The deed to your new keep here in Emon. We need our protectors close at hand to, you know, protect."

"Wait, this keep is for all of us?" Naruto inquired.

"Well, yes," Uriel answered as if it was the most basic thing in the world.

"But, I'm not part of Vox Machina. Won't that make it, I dunno, awkward? I mean, hearing Allura-neechan call out Kima-onee's name at night is more awkward whenever they forget the Silence spell whenever I stay over-"

"I'm gonna kill him," Kima's face was red for more than just anger.

"No killing. Just hurt him," a red faced Allura told the lover.

"No promises."

"-but, I mean-Ah, shit, I'm not good at this."

"Why don't you join?" Grog asked.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, huh?" Vex repeated.

"He faced a dragon by himself and lived. Don't get more baddass then dat and he's tough. Might he useful 'aving him around," Grog told them.

"...Okay, when did you get so wise? Did you drink a smart potion?"

"A what?"

"That answers that," Percy sighed, "But he's not wrong."

"Right. And you're not just saying that 'cause you want another human in the group, right?"

"What? No," well, partially but Percy wouldn't admit it.

"I like him. So you know my vote," Pike told them.

"I'd also like to know more about his homeworld, to be honest," Keyleth said her piece.

"Well, kid, what do you say? Wanna join up with a team of assholes?"

"...Eh, what the hell. But on a few conditions."

"We refuse all of them."

"Vex," Vax sighed.

"Oh, fine. What are they?"

"Well, actually, it's just one."

"Does it involve Scanlan and his flirting?"

"Yes. I want the same deal as before."

"Done," all of Vox Machina agreed.

"Not done!" except one.

"Alright, I'm in."

"Good. Oh, and before I forget, you cheeky shit," the woman had a tick mark, "We barely got anything from that hoard thanks to your heroics. Splitting whatever you got is more than enough to make up for that little stunt."

"I was trying to keep you all out of danger!"

"Never asked for it, darling. Now, fork over the scroll."

"Vex, it's a scroll, doubt it can hold much anyway," Vax sighed.

"Hey! My scrolls can hold up 275 kg worth of gold," Naruto felt insulted, then stupid, "Crap."

"Idiot," Kima smirked while Allura sighed.

"275kg? That puny thing has 30,000 gold in it?!" a voice exclaimed and to the surprise of many it came from Grog, "Wat? 110 gold pieces are about one kilogram times 275 is about 30,000 or so."

.

..

...

"He, he's right," said a council member.

"The fuck?" Percy couldn't believe his ears, the council included.

"Who are you and what have you done with Grog?!" Scanlan demanded.

"Nothing. Grog's just always been weirdly good at math," Pike told them with a chuckle.

"How's that even possible? He can't read or write!" Scanlan exclaimed, stunning the audience even more.

"Forget that! Darling, hand over the scroll."

"Uh-huh!" Naruto shook his head.

"Hand over the scroll, and no one needs to-Grab him!" Vex suddenly ordered.

"Hey!"

"Should we be worried?" Kima whispered to Allura, though her grin at his sudden misfortune didn't leave her face.

"Perhaps. But it's good to see him branch out. Unconventional as they are," Allura whispered back, a small hint of a smile on her face.

"Oi! Wait a moment! You said there'd be booze money! Where's da money?!" Grog declared.

"And there's the Grog we know."

"Never said anything like that. You just assumed it would be and I didn't bother correcting," Kima's smile only pissed off the goliath, "But if you check his bag of holding, you'll find your booze money."

"Traitor!"

"Come 'ere you!" Grog also began chasing after the blond.

"Whoa, buddies, let's just-Oh, shit!"

Things would certainly be interesting with this ragtag band of fools.

---

First off, wow. 36k words for one chapter. My longest to date. This story took me a while and would not leave my head. Now, and this is important, I want feedback, I want reviews and peoples opinions. If I don't hear anything or get any decent feedback then I'm not gonna bother wasting my time on it. It may sound harsh, but I'm not gonna waste time and effort on a story nobody wants or takes interest in when I have other stories to focus on. So, I wanna hear from you, and hopefully you enjoyed it, even if you didn't I want to hear your feedback and see where I can improve.

If it's liked and people want it continued, I assure you now that I won't just follow every episode of Vox Machina by the letter. Some things and some lore I've decided to play around with cause otherwise it'll get too boring. Be aware something from the actual campaign (which the show is based on) will be used for you die hard fans.

Second, I do know that Minato didn't invent the Hiraishin no Jutsu and Naruto's information is biased and not exactly reliable due to, as I said, him never really paying attention in class. Hashirama was the strongest of the Hokage, not the Third. He was no pushover, true, but Hiruzen paled by comparison. He was much stronger in his prime, but even then, Hashirama was still stronger if the man went all out. We all know it, but this is something few know about given most from his time are dead, and the new generation are only really aware of Hiruzen's exploits due to him being the longest living of the Hokage when in office and given Hashirama's feats were held in a fantasy light like the Sage of the Six Paths the newer generation either didn't believe it or had a hard time believing.

Most importantly, I do know the rules of Dnd but this is a novel and if you've read books based on DnD, Forgotten Realms and the like the attunement thing is thrown out the window. If this were the actual board game it would be different. And, if Naruto's world were to be incorporated into DnD, we all know Naruto's world, and the people who live there, well, their potential and might are way higher than most DnD races by comparison without the help from magical items. Also, let's not forget that there are individuals in Critical Role, such as Loth's mortal avatar who is ridiculously powerful if you look at her abilities.

Many aren't super powerful in the beginning and not all of them are like that in the end, or will even reach the insane levels and go behind the normal caps some do, as we know, but they have the potential to go beyond it. Naruto's world would follow more the Pathfinder rules where Ability Scores can be 20 at level 1 and can go above it. Critical Role was initially following the Pathfinder rules before they switched over to DnD ones, but some elements were carried over like Keyleth's headband, which was a Headband of Mental Form that gave 2 WIS and CHA. The thing I'm mostly touching upon for this is Naruto's Constitution as a result of his Uzumaki lineage and Kurama. And as Naruto follows more Pathfinder rules, he gains feats every 3 level (3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18) (Not every odd level, as that's too much, and as a result at levels 4, 8, 12, 16, and 19 he can only increase his Ability Scores by 1). Be aware, if Naruto had been reborn or reincarnated in DnD then he'd be following their rules by comparison.

Also, if you are wondering why Naruto's level is only 8, well, he is almost level 9 and by next chapter he will have likely reached level 9, part of it will be explained later and part of it also has to with the amount of experience points for elementians being much, much higher, similar to Kingmaker or Wrath of the Righteous, when levelling up and because experience is also gained via personal growth rather than just killing monsters. Don't forget, this is Naruto before about a year and a half before Shippuden so his training was incomplete and given he isn't an academic learner he is mostly self taught which, for Naruto, isn't exactly the best as it's more raw than technique and he needs a teacher to refine himself. Below are the techniques and items I created if it was an actual DnD game, not to 100% accurately reflect how it's portrayed in the manga or my story, and certainly not a hundred percent following DnD5th Edition rules (more 3, 3.5 and Pathfinder and Forgotten Realm Rules).

---

Uzumaki Naruto

Race: Human Variant - Elementian

Subrace: Uzumaki Clan

Class: Ninja

Archetype: Ninjutsu Specialist

Background: Prankster

Speed: 40

AC: 13?

Level: 8

Hit Points: 147

Chakra Points: 156

STR: 13 (1)

CON: 24 (7)

DEX: 16 (3)

INT: 9 (-1)

WIS: 12 (1)

CHA: 13 (1)

Proficiencies

Skills: Persuasion (Feat), Athletic (Background), Perception (Feat), Stealth (Class/Background), Intimidation (Item), Performance (Class)

Expertise: Athletic

Tools: Caligraphy (Subrace Feature), and Ninja tools (Class feature)

Armor: Light

Weapons: Simple weapons, Ninja Weapons (kunai, shuriken, scrolls, ninja wire), Shortsword (Chunin Training).

Saving Throws: Dexterity, Constitution (subrace feature), Wisdom

Conditional Proficiencies

Skills: Arcana (only for seals and scrolls native or similar to your native country)

Feats/Traits/Features/Conditions

Blood of the Seal Masters: Uzumaki have an innate talent when it comes to calligraphy tools, scrolls and seals native or similar to their country. They have an advantage when creating seals and understanding sealing formulas native to their homeland, as well as an advantage when using them. As a result of this innate superiority, at 7th level, whenever you mark your body with a sealing techniques/tattoos that normally requires an attunement, it doesn't take up an attunement slot. You can add another seal/tattoo without requiring attunement at the 18th level.

Brimming with Energy: Elementians, as a result of being born in a plane saturated with immense and unique chakra, have greater pools of Chakra than any other races, earning twice as much Chakra as those who would earn Ki when levelling up. When they level up, they also roll (3) 1d6 and add the results to their chakra pool.

Chunin Training: You've attained the rank of Chunin, and as such are required to show additional competency. Choose one skill or weapon you aren't proficient with to become proficient with it.

? : You are unable to use the Shadow Clone technique. The only way you can do so is by having the ? removed either by ?, a wish spell, or divine intervention. Attempts to use the ability will result in automatic failure and 33 (6d10) fire damage that ignores resistance.

Excessive Unbalanced Energy: The amount of chakra you possess is vastly superior compared to other beings. Unfortunately, the ratio of Yang to Yin chakra, comes at a cost of having difficulties in controlling it, resulting in a waste of chakra when using techniques. Until you've fully mastered chakra control, whenever you use a technique, even if it usually doesn't have a cost, you roll a die to see how much more you must spend to use the technique in addition to its initial cost: E-Rank: 1d4; D-Rank: 1d6; C-Rank: 1d8, B-Rank: 1d10; A-Rank: 1d12; S-Rank: 1d20. If, after a roll, you lack the necessary amount needed to use the technique, the technique fails, and the backlash prevents you from using any ninja techniques during your next turn. If the roll result equals or exceeds the chakra points used to increase the technique's damage, and you have the necessary amount, the technique's damage is increased by an additional dice roll.

Expert Substitute: Your mastery of the technique has enhanced its capabilities. Experts of the technique have been known to use the Kawarimi in conjunction with white smoke that temporarily obstructs the view of their attacker and use this opportunity to either perform a counter, hide, disarm or even steal from their attacker.

Greater Toughness: Your hit point maximum increases by an amount equal to 3 times your level when you take this feat. Whenever you gain a level thereafter, your hit point maximum increases by an additional 3 hit points (this replaces the benefit of the original Tough feat). Once a day, after finishing a long rest, you gain resistance to either blunt, piercing, or slashing damage from non-magical weapons for 1 hour per half your Constitution Modifier (rounded down). Prerequisites: Constitution score of 17 or higher, the Tough feat, and must have Hit Die of d8 or higher (level 6 chosen feat).

Kitsune Tattoo: Your feet and legs are covered in intricate seals resembling the kanji for fox. Once per long rest, you can activate this seal to increase your movement speed by 5 feet for 1 minute.

Konoha Shinobi: You were born and raised as a ninja Konoha, a land sprawling with dense and immense forests as far as the eye can see. As a result, you have become very adept in such terrain when you try and hide in forested areas and double your proficiency bonus for Stealth when in such areas.

Lesser Regeneration: Once every 10 minutes, you recover 1d6 hit points so long as you have 1 hit point remaining. Has no impact on severed limbs (due to Power of the Human Sacrifice)

Limited Language: Much like elementians, Uzumaki only ever know one language due to it being the only one in the entire continent. They are, however, capable of learning another.

Nature Affinity (Wind): At a ninjutsu specialist's 6th level, you learn what your affinity is. When determining the costs of wind-based techniques, roll 1d6 and whatever the results are, reduce the cost by that amount.

Ninjutsu Specialist: You have chosen the path of ninjutsu specialist. You gain 3 Ninjutsu Dice that you can use to give your ninjutsu advantage on their hit, increase their range by half, or increase their DC by 1. At level 7, gain 1 additional Ninjutsu Dice and another at level 15. At level 11, after seeing the damage total you can use your Ninjutsu Die to reroll the damage amount but must use the new total. At level 18th, you can use your Ninjutsu Dice to add 1 additional die roll to the damage. You regain these dice after completing long rest.

Not the Sharpest Kunai: You have disadvantage on INT rolls with skills you're not proficient with, and when attempting to resist charm-related abilities as well as performing concentrating rolls to maintain innate techniques when struck (techniques not originating from items) you use your INT as the saving roll instead of the usual saving rolls.

?: ?

Rooftop Traveller: Ninja are known for travelling from rooftop to rooftop, and other high places others rarely look, easily bridging the gap between the ground level and the top of an establishment, even without a running start. When jumping, ninja use either their Strength or Dexterity (whichever is higher) to determine their jumping distance. At 2nd level, you learn Ninpo: Kinto'un (Ninja Art: Cloud Somersault), which functions similarly to the Enhanced Leap spell. At 7th level, your base jumping distance is tripled and you become proficient in Athletics (becomes expertise if already proficient).

Oddly Charismatic: You may not always have a way with words, but when you do find the right thing to say, you leave a lasting impression that sticks with the listener. You become proficient in Persuasion (level 3 chosen feat).

Shinobi Agility: Ninjas are incredibly quick on their feet, as a slow ninja is a dead ninja. At 2nd level, speed is increased by 10 feet while not wearing armor or wielding a shield (size must be large or smaller). At level 6, Dash can be used as a bonus action and you gain Shinobi Dash, which triples your dash speed and causes enemies to have disadvantage on attacks of opportunity except on difficult terrain (Shinobi Dash has to be used as an action and can only be used a number of times equal to half your proficiency bonus per long rest and if not wearing any armor or wielding a shield). At 10th level, you still benefit from this feature and can use Shinobi Dash if wearing armour classified as light.

Tough: Your hit points' maximum increases by an amount equal to twice your level, then by 2 at each level (due to Power of the Human Sacrifice)

Uzumaki Vitality: Uzumakis have been blessed with exceptional vitality compared to other elementians with their lifespan being almost akin to a half-elf as they begin aging more slowly after age 20 and are proficient in Constitution saving throws. When determining their Hit Points, unless having a condition that prevents it, an Uzumaki rolls a 1D12 (7) regardless of class. At level 5, with certain exceptions, whatever would normally kill an individual can instead result in their Hit Points being dropped to 1 Hit Point instead (not usable for 1 week), but you also gain one level of exhaustion.

Legendary (Homebrew) Traits

Blessed Vitality: Due to your family's exceptional vitality along with the powerful godlike entity sealed inside you, your vitality has become more akin to that of a demi-god compared to the other races. At every second level, your CON score is increased by 1 (cannot go higher than 30) and allows you to remain awake for 36 hours instead of 24 (so long as you eat something) before having to perform a DC 10 CON saving throw. Your next save occurs after the usual 24 hours and the DC increases by 5.

Limit Breaker: The potent chakra that has saturated elementians and their plane for thousands of years has given them the potential to cross thresholds most races could only dream of without divine intervention. As a result, if choosing to improve their Ability Score after reaching certain levels, they are not impeded by the usual Ability Score cap when naturally increasing it.

Overflowing Energy Syphoning: The complex sealing array placed on you since birth was not only designed to imprison but also syphon the immense and unique and powerful chakra of the entity sealed within and adding it to your own, affecting your chakra nodes in the process. As a result of this, you roll a 7 (2d6) instead of the usual 1d6 to determine your additional chakra points. Whenever you level up, the Chakra Points you gain are multiplied by five (roll results are added after the multiplication). Furthermore, you regain 1d6 Chakra Points every 10 minutes.

Power of the Human Sacrifice: Within you lies an ancient and incredibly powerful godlike entity that has been locked up behind a powerful seal. So long as this seal remains intact, you benefit from the entity by getting an advantage on poison saving throws, poison damage being reduced by half. The entity within you has no desire to die, and while it cares not if you do, your death would also result in its own. As a result, you benefit from the Tough feat along with Lesser Regeneration feat. In addition, you can remove one level of exhaustion (once used, it cannot be used for 72 hours).

Under certain circumstances, you can tap into its power, strengthening yourself and your abilities even further. However, doing so comes with the risk of the entity influencing your actions, possibly making you lose control and attacking your allies and innocents, and can negatively impact your lifespan.

After three failed death saving throws as a result of your Hit Points being reduced to zero, or if outright killed, or suffering from Intense Chakra Exhaustion, instead of dying, you can regain (6) 1d10 Hit Points per CON Modifier Character Level (cannot be used again for 72 hours) but you must make a DC INT 13 roll. On a failed roll, half your max Hit Points are restored but you fall under the entity's influence (charmed) and are afflicted by Wrath of the Kyubi no Yoko and have a disadvantage on the saving rolls needed to break free from its influence.

---

Naruto's Abilities/Techniques​

Henge no Jutsu (Transformation Technique)

Technique Rank: E-Rank

Technique Cost: 2 Chakra Point Per 10 minutes

Casting Time: Bonus action

Range: Self

Duration: Instantaneous

Concentration Requirements: Yes

Description/Effect: One of the basic three of ninja techniques learned at the academy. You physically alter your form, including your clothing, armor, weapons, and other belongings on your person, to look like a different creature or an inanimate object. You can't change your size category (e.g., Medium to Large), though you can adopt the appearance of a smaller creature or object within your space. Your transformation last so long as you maintain the necessary chakra amount or if your concentration is broken. Undoing your disguise near an unsuspecting being within 5 feet of you may surprise them, giving you advantage on attack rolls for one turn. Though useful and versatile, Henge is useless against certain beings who have abilities that perceive your true form or if they possessed enhanced senses of smell as the transformation doesn't change your scent.

Physical Change: Unlike an illusion, this change is physical. If you transform into a stone, you feel like stone to the touch. If you transform into a clawed beast, you can make unarmed strikes using the "Claws" of that form (dealing 1d4 slashing damage Strength Modifier). When you transform into a specific Medium or Small humanoid you have seen, your weight and voice shift to match, but you gain no new racial traits or abilities. If you are transformed into an individual that someone (without keen senses of smell) knows they must make an Intelligence (Investigation) check against your Spell Save DC to realize you aren't them.

Object Form: While transformed as an object or a mundane feature of the environment like a rock, bush or wooden log, so long as you remain motionless, you have the False Appearance trait. Transforming yourself into a magical object does not provide any traits or properties and upon striking a person while in weapon form you transform back into an individual. If a creature picks you up or interacts with you while in this form, they must make an Intelligence (Investigation) check against your Spell Save DC to realize you are a transformed person. This can be performed in combat as well to perform the Hide action but will only fool your opponents if you are obscured or partially obscured.

---

Kawarimi (Body Replacement)

Technique Rank: E-Rank/Cantrip

Technique Cost: 1 Chakra Point

Casting Time: 1 reaction, which you take when you are hit by an attack

Range: Self

Components: S, M (a solid object matching your size or small)

Duration: Instantaneous.

Description: One of the most basic but highly used shinobi techniques. You attempt to swap places with a nearby object just as an attack connects. If the attack is made from a melee or ranged weapon, roll a d4. You gain a bonus to your AC equal to the number rolled against the triggering attack, potentially causing it to miss. If the attack misses, you can teleport up to 5 feet to an unoccupied space you can see. An object of your size or smaller (like a wooden log) appears in the space you previously occupied. At 5th level, the AC bonus increases to d6 and the distance increases by 5 feet. At 11th level, it becomes d8 and at 17th level, the distance increases by another 5 feet.

If the attack is anything other than a melee or ranged weapon, you must make a Dexterity save instead and, on a successful save, you take half damage (if the attack already requires such a save the damage is reduced from half to a quarter instead.) You are unable to use this technique if you are immobilized, prone, unconscious, and if you have your movement restrained or impeded you roll with disadvantage.

---

Imperfect Rasengan (Spiralling Sphere)

Technique Rank: Rankless

Technique Cost: 7 Chakra Points

Casting Time: 1 Action

Duration: 1 Turn

Range: Touch (5 feet)

Components: None

Concentration Requirement: No

Spell Attack Modifier: Wisdom modifier Proficiency bonus

Description/Effect: An imperfect version of the Yondaime Hokage's technique due to a lack of proper chakra control and trouble maintaining without aid. The technique is that of a condensed sphere of spiralling chakra that can send an individual flying. As a result of its imperfect nature, not only is the damage significantly reduced, but you must spend a bonus action to create it and then a bonus action to use it against someone. If you miss, the technique does nothing and dissipates. On a hit, the target takes 22 (4d10) force damage. The target, if large or smaller, must make a Strength saving throw (DC equal to 8 your proficiency bonus your Wisdom modifier) or be knocked back 10 feet.

---

Ninpo: Chakura Nagashi (Ninja Art: Chakra Flow)

Technique Rank: C-Rank

Technique Cost: 4 Chakra Points

Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action

Duration: 1 round (effects can continue on next turn so long as you have the required chakra)

Components: None

Concentration Requirement: Yes

Description: An ability that allows you to coat your unarmed strikes and weapons in chakra and enhances them one step further. For one minute, you gain 1 towards attack rolls and your attacks are considered magical for the purpose of overcoming resistance and immunity to nonmagical attacks and damage. If your attacks are already considered magical, you gain 1 towards damage rolls. If using two weapons or fighting unarmed, only one weapon or hand is enhanced. Using an additional 3 chakra points allows you to coat both instead of one.

---

Futon: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)

Technique Rank: C-Rank

Technique Cost: 5 Chakra Points

Casting Time: 1 Action

Duration: Instantaneous

Range: 30 Foot Cone, 60 Foot and 5 Feet Wide Linear

Components: None

Concentration Requirement: No

Spell Attack Modifier: Wisdom modifier Proficiency bonus

Description/Effect: A massive blast of wind that can be expelled in a wide cone or long-range linear attack. Masters of this technique have been known to bellow hurricane-force winds that can send their victims flying into the distance. Creatures that are large or medium-sized must make a Strength saving throw with creatures smaller than medium doing so with disadvantage. Creatures that are large or medium-sized within 5 feet of the caster have a disadvantage on saving throws and the push distance increases by an additional 10 feet. On a failed save, a creature takes 4d8 bludgeoning damage, is pushed 15 feet away from you, and falls prone. On a successful save, a creature takes half as much damage, with creatures that are smaller than medium being only pushed back 5 feet, and not knocked prone. Creatures that are flying and are large size or smaller have a disadvantage on this saving throw. On a critical hit, the pushed distance is doubled (half on a successful saving throw). In addition, the wind extinguishes all unprotected flames in the area of effect, and if pushed, creatures crash into a solid object; they take an additional 1d6 bludgeoning damage.

At Higher Levels: You can increase the damage by 1d8 per 5 additional chakra points and the push distance increases by 5 feet up. You can do this a number of times equal to your Proficiency bonus.

---

Roar of the Demon Fox

Technique Rank: Unique

Technique Cost: 11 Chakra Points.

Casting Time: 1 Action

Duration: Instantaneous

Prerequisite: Initial Jinchūriki Chakra Cloak must be active

Range (Effect): 60-foot cone Range, or 30 foot radius (Sound): Up to 5 miles away

Description/Effect: You unleash a weakened but still apocalyptic roar that is a physical and psychological wave of force that the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox is known for. While the sound can echo across an entire region, the debilitating effects only affect those within the immediate area. The sheer power of the roar creates a momentary sonic boom heard clearly for miles. The sound can be heard distinctly up to 5 miles away, alerting nearly every living creature in the vicinity to your location and the event.

This technique deals no physical or magical damage, but the pushback from it can cause blunt damage to a creature if they crash into a hard surface. Each creature in the range must make three saving throws: Wisdom Saving Throw or become Frightened until the end of your next turn; Constitution Saving Throw or become Deafened until the end of your next turn; a Strength Saving Throw for any creature of large size or small within 10 feet of the caster be pushed 30 feet away. A creature that succeeds on all three saves is unaffected by any condition and is not pushed. The ability puts a strain on your vocal cords and can only be used a number of times equal to half your Proficiency Bonus (rounded down) per long rest.

---

Version One Jinchūriki Chakra Cloak

Technique Rank: Unique

Casting Time: 1 Bonus Action

Duration: 1 minute

Concentration Requirement: No

Description/Effect: By tapping into the Kyubi no Yoko's power, you become covered in a translucent red, wispy aura, along with your eyes turning red with slitted pupils, your nails and canine teeth become longer and sharper, and your whisker marks becoming far more pronounced and feral. During this state, the character gains proficiency in unarmed strikes, and their unarmed damage becomes 1d6 Strength modifier. Attacks with unarmed or armed deal an additional 1 damage (increasing by 1 when you have four tails and by 1 again at nine tails). Your CON, DEX, STR and whatever Ability Score your spell modifier is are increased by 2 during this state and you gain advantage on Intimidation.

Your movement speed increases by 5 feet (increasing by another 5 when you have four tails and again at nine tails) and gain resistance to bludgeoning, slashing, and piercing damage from non-magical attacks. Furthermore, your Lesser Regeneration becomes Rapid Regeneration, causing you to gain 1d6 Hit Points at the start of your turn instead of every 10 minutes, and also affects how you regain your chakra in the same way (increasing to 1d8, and increasing to 1d10 at four tails and 1d12 at nine tails). During this state, certain technique conditions and requirements are ignored (up to DM) and their hit die increases by 1 (1d6 becomes 1d8).

For every third turn you are in this state, you must make a D12 saving throw (increasing by 1 at four tails and again at nine tails) or become affected by the Kyubi's influence and blinded by rage and attack whichever target is closest to you, be they friend or foe. On a successful save, you come to your senses. On your next turn, you can repeat the saving throw. If after three consecutive failed saving throws, you may possibly gain two levels of exhaustion along with the technique ending, and you end up lethargic for one turn, or you let the rage overwhelm you and forcibly enter the Version Two Jinchuriki Chakra Cloak, becoming a danger to friend and foe alike, as well as yourself (up to the DMs discretion).

You can enter this state a number of times equal to half your Proficiency Bonus per day. Upon the technique ending, roll 1d6 (for tails of 1-3, rolls of 1-3 result in one level of exhaustion, while 4-6 has no effect; for 4-6 tails, rolls of 1-4 result in one level of exhaustion, while 5-6 has no effect; for tails of 7-9, rolls of 1-5 result in one level of exhaustion, while 6 has no effect). The effects of Exhaustion subside if you use this state but gain a disadvantage on saving rolls when trying to prevent being influenced as well as exhaustion levels once the state ends.

---

Naruto's Equipment​

Potion of Lightning Resistance

Category: Potion

Rarity: Uncommon

Attunement: No

Benefits: Grants Lightning Resistance for 1 hour.

Description: A blue potion that shimmers in the light and causes a tingling sensation on your tongue once drunk. Upon consumption, for one hour the drinker finds themselves able to endure the effects of lightning much better than before, though it's still best you try to avoid being struck by it. It's just common sense. The effects end prematurely if you consume and come under the effects of another potion.

---

Barkskin Elixer

Category: Elixer

Rarity: Uncommon

Attunement: No

Benefits: Sets Base AC to 16 for 1 hour (Benefits from Armor, Shields, and DEX Modifier aren't included)

Description: A dark brown and not exactly appealing elixer resembling dirty water with floating bits of wood in it. The taste, ironically, isn't half bad and has a subtle nutty flavor to it. Upon consumption, for one hour the drinker finds themselves able to shrug off blows that would normally cause injury. The effects end prematurely if you consume and come under the effects of another elixer.

---

Uzumaki Exploding Tag - Basic

Category: Wondrous Item

Rarity: Common

Attunement: No

Description: A basic sealing more potent than ordinary sealing tags due to the superior sealing techniques of the Uzumaki Clan and causes (9) 2d8 Force Damage and (9) 2d8 Fire Damage upon igniting in a 10 foot radius. Targets must perform a DC 13 Dexterity saving throw to halve the damage and prevent being knocked back. Targets caught in the blast are knocked back by 5 feet if they fail the saving throw. Often used in conjunction with kunai or other projectiles not only to make effective use of range, but also because if the projectile misses or does no damage, the seal can be ignited as a nice little surprise. When used alongside certain projectiles or items that aren't explosive, the shrapnel can cause an additional 2 (1d4) piercing damage if the target fails the Dexterity saving throw. Damage has advantage on structure and items that are non-magical.

---

Uzumaki Exploding Tag - Intermediate

Category: Wondrous Item

Rarity: Uncommon

Attunement: No

Description: A more potent version of the Uzumaki sealing tags that causes (13) 3d8 Force Damage 3 and (13) 3d8 Fire Damage 3 upon igniting in a 10 foot radius. Targets must perform a DC 14 Dexterity saving throw to halve the damage and prevent being knocked back. Targets caught in the blast are knocked back by 10 feet if they fail the saving throw. When used alongside certain projectiles or items that aren't explosive, the shrapnel can cause an additional 3 (1d6) piercing damage if the target fails the Dexterity saving throw. Damage has advantage on structure and items that are non-magical.

---

Uzumaki Exploding Tag - Advanced

Category: Wondrous Item

Rarity: Rare

Attunement: No

Trait:Spectacular Explosion (The sheer force behind the explosion makes it so whenever items with this trait are used against structure and items that aren't magical are considered a critical hit).

Description: One of the most potent and dangerous of the Uzumaki sealing tags which takes an expert sealing user to make. Upon igniting it causes (22) 4d10 Force Damage 8 and (22) 4d10 Fire Damage 8. Targets in a 15 foot radius of the explosion must perform a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw to halve the damage and prevent being knocked back. Targets caught in the blast are knocked back by 10 feet if they fail the saving throw. When used alongside certain projectiles or items that aren't explosive, the shrapnel can cause an additional 7 (2d6) piercing damage if the target fails the Dexterity saving throw. Damage has advantage on structures and items that are non-magical and are always considered critical hits.

---

Small Storage Scroll

Category: Wondrous Item

Rarity: Common

Attunement: No

Description: A common scroll used by ninja to store items. You can store up to 275 kg worth of items in this scroll so long as they are inanimate. Items stored in this scroll will not rot, spoil or rust. If the scroll is damaged, some of its contents may be lost or damaged in turn. If the scroll is destroyed, all contents are destroyed with it or lost to the Astral Plane (depends on rarity).

---

Uzumaki Heirloom Necklace

Category: Necklace

Description: A necklace found by Naruto in Uzushio when trapped with his mentor Jiraiya. One of the only things left in Uzushio in an unknown location that wasn't rusted or useless. The necklace is circular with the symbol of the Uzumaki Clan on it. Worn after losing Senju Hashirama's necklace years ago and due to it being one of the only remaining pieces of home and one of the only things he found that once belonged to his clan.

---

Naruto's Headband

Category: Helmet/Eyewear

Rarity: Uncommon

Attunement: No

Description: An everyday headband Konoha ninja wear upon passing all requirements to become one. Earned by Naruto when he defended Iruka from Mizuki. The material is thin and despite the durable piece of metal on it offers little to no protection compared to other protective headgear and is meant to symbolize a shinobi's allegiance. The headband was modified to allow Naruto to cover his eyes and see through it as though he weren't wearing it. This was done to prevent his eyes' effects from affecting others, and also because Naruto can't stand to look at his eyes anymore.

---

Boots of Elvenkind

Category: Wondrous Item

Rarity: Uncommon

Attunement: No

Benefits: Advantage on Dexterity (Stealth) checks

Description: A pair of boots that are commonly used by rangers and rogues or anyone who prefers the stealthier approach than rushing in like a mad bull. While you wear these boots, your steps make no sound, regardless of the surface you are moving across, granting you an advantage when moving silently.

---

Eyes of Infernal Wrath

Category: Wondrous

Item Rarity: Unique

Attunement: No

Benefits: You are proficient in Intimidation; Infernal Sight (You can see in magical and ordinary darkness up to a range of 40 feet); Wrathful Gaze (You passively put others in a state of unease when you look at them, does not work if blind or if they don't look at you, resulting in -1 to attack rolls if they fail a DC 13 Wisdom check. When focusing, you can Frighten a number of targets equal to your proficiency bonus (1/Day).

Trait: ?

Description

A pair of advanced highly advanced eyes of unknown origin that were used to replace Naruto's organic ones. While superior to his original eyes due to their ability to put others in a state of unease and the ability to see in the dark from ordinary and magical sources, the eyes glow an ominous red and are akin to whenever he is affected by the Kyubi's chakra. As a result of this, Naruto can't stand the sight of them and often covers them up with his forehead protector.

---

Ring of Minor Tongue

Category: Ring

Item Rarity: Common

Attunement: No

Benefits: Speak and understand Common (excluding reading and writing)

Description: A simple-looking band made of polished wood. When speaking, the ring allows others to understand what you are saying as if you are speaking the Common tongue and allows you to understand what others are saying when they speak Common, so long as you wear it. However, it does not enable the wearer to read or write in that language and sometimes not all words you say will translate properly. Considered quite inferior compared to its more enhanced variants, the Ring of Tongues and Ring of Greater Tongues.

---

Naruto's Former Equipment - Location Unknown​

Necklace of the Founding Fire Shadow

Category: Necklace

Item Rarity: Unique

Attunement: Yes (not if Uzumaki or Senju)

Benefits: +2 Wisdom, +1 towards saving throws

Conditional Benefits: If worn by the Shodai Hokage, become proficient with Perception and Insight; +2 towards saving throws; Gain Advantage with Dominate Tailed Beast (unique variant of Dominate Beast)

Description: An exceptionally rare green gem with a worth said to be great enough to allow one to buy three mountains and their gold mines mainly due to it once belonging to the legendary God of Shinobi, Senju Hashirama, whose might and feats were so vast that many dismissed them as fables. The gem is made from an exceptionally rare chakra resonating crystal that, over time, has attuned with Hashrama's and now amplifies his powers, and those of his bloodline to a minor extent, aiding him in subjugating and defeating the famed Nine-Tailed Beasts of his country. While it's worth is immense given its abilities and history from its plane of origin, it's worth is substantially less elsewhere.

---

Homebrew Feature for Shinobi​

Expert Substituter

Your mastery of the technique has enhanced its capabilities. Experts of the technique have been known to use the Kawarimi in conjunction with white smoke that temporarily obstructs the view of their attacker and use this opportunity to either perform a counter, hide, disarm or even steal from their attacker.

Expert Substitution: When you use the Kawarimi cantrip and succeed in avoiding being hit, spells or attacks that normally require a Dexterity save to halve the damage result in no damage and unsuccessful saves only result in half damage. You can also perform the following options a number of times per long rest equal to your Proficiency Bonus on your attacker:

Counter Strike: If the attacker is within your reach after you teleport, you can make one melee weapon attack against them as part of the same reaction, treating the counter-attack as you would a normal attack against a target. You can also counter with certain techniques or objects that can cause various effects (dependent on attacks).

Greater Mobility: You can teleport an additional 5 feet (maximum of 20 feet) away from your attacker. Hidden Presence: After a successful substitution, you can immediately make a Dexterity (Stealth) check to hide if the terrain and lighting allow it, must be done within the distance granted by the Kawarimi (Greater Mobility does not apply).

Sticky Fingers: After a successful substitution, you can immediately make a Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) check to steal an item in your attacker's possession.

Disarming Counter: After a successful substitution, you can immediately make a Strength (Athletics) check in an attempt to disarm your attacker. If your attacker has more than one piece of equipment in their hands you can choose which one you which one to target.

---

Homebrew Feats for Shinobi​

Master Substituter

Prerequisite: Expert Substituter Feature, Ninjutsu, Genjutsu or Path of the Anbu Specialization Archetype

Your mastery of the technique has enhanced its capabilities to levels only a handful have achieved. You gain one additional reaction for the Kawarimi when attacked by another.

Master Substitution: When you use the Kawarimi cantrip and succeed in avoiding being hit, spells or attacks that normally require a Dexterity save to halve the damage result in no damage and unsuccessful saves only result in half damage. You can also perform the same options of Expert Substituter along with the new options a number of times per short rest equal to your Proficiency Bonus on your target:

Enhanced Counter Strike: If the attacker is within your reach after you teleport, you can make one melee weapon attack against them as part of the same reaction, treating the counterattack as you would a normal attack against a target with advantage 2d6 sneak attack on a hit. You can also counter with certain techniques or objects that can cause various effects (dependent on attacks).

Enhanced Greater Mobility: You can teleport an additional 10 feet (maximum of 25 feet) away from your attacker.

Enhanced Hidden Presence: After a successful substitution, you can teleport to a location and immediately make a Dexterity (Stealth) check to hide if the terrain and lighting allow it (Greater Mobility applies), or you can immediately use an ability that masks your presence from plain sight (if you have such a technique and must still pay the cost of the technique which)

Explosive Surprise: After a successful substitution, you can make a Dexterity (Sleight of Hand) check to add a sealing tag-related item on the unsuspecting target that can be activated as a bonus action on your turn or activated upon another successful kawarimi. The target can perform a Wisdom (Perception) check on their next turn, and if successful, the sealing tag is destroyed.

Please be aware that I have created a Patron page which I am doing because unfortunately times are tough and I need to make ends meet and help a family member who recently lost their job and has not been able to find anything in the last four months. My original stories, former stories, one shots and story ideas are all there as well.

 

[Legend of the Kyuubi]

Chapter One: Bad Blood

Pike yawned as she came out of the privy, or what passed as one, she thought with a shiver. Daylight was beginning to peek through the windows of the keep they had been given for slaying Brimscythe but with nothing really to do at the moment, Pike thought it best to go back to sleep. Until movement outside the window caught her eye. Very fast movement.

Pike cautiously approached the window with light steps. Despite her size, Pike had never been all that good at stealth, even without her plate armor, and that usually worked against Vox Machina whenever they needed to be more subtle. Fortunately, she had nothing to worry about as the figure she spotted was their newest member who was pretty much a golden blur as he ran from one end of the yard to the other without stopping.

"Damn," Pike muttered, unable to take her eyes off Naruto.

Each step he took launched him further than the last, and his foot barely touched the ground before it was back in the air and the other took its place. Pike watched as his muscles tightened: his legs, torso, pecs and arms as he ran. If she were being honest, he was damn fine eye candy. That wasn't to say that the guys of their group weren't fit, far from it. Grog, as a goliath, was easily the beefiest of the four. Percy and Scanlan had fit builds - the latter she understood, given the number of husbands and wives, siblings, significant others, or family members he pissed off during one of his conquests, though Percy surprised her when she saw him shirtless. While Vax, being a half-elf as well as the was the fastest and most acrobatic of them - unless Keyleth turned into an animal - had a runner's build. But Naruto had a build that was pretty much shredded, and pretty much non-existent fat. But what also caught her eye were the scars.

Faded and many looked healed over, but some were still prominent all the same, especially on his back. The number of marks on his back was quite numerous to the point it unsettled her. Pike could only imagine what the kid went through. But if she was honest, part of her didn't want to know for fear of what might be said. Some boxes, once you open them and let out whatever is in them, can't be put back in, Pike recalled her grandfather saying. Pike decided she wouldn't pry and merely watched Naruto run back and forth, back and forth, until she lost track of time.

"Hey, Pike, watcha-Oh, hello~" Scanlan grinned, and Pike bore an annoyed look.

"Really, Scanlan?"

"Hey, what he doesn't know won't hurt me," and he meant that. Crotch kicks hurt!

"Unless I tell him," Pike smirked, realizing the blackmail that just fell into her lap.

"You wouldn't...Would you?"

"Gimme one good reason why I shouldn't?"

"Because I'm cute?" Scanlan tried convincing with a grin.

Pike's deadpan look said it all: Persuasion roll failed.

"Hey, Naruto! Scanlan's peeping on you!"

"What?! No, I wasn't! I mean, okay, sure I-But so were you!"

"One, he's straight, so me doing it won't piss him off. Two, who's he gonna believe? Me or you?"

"...Shit," the bard couldn't deny his fellow gnome's logic.

Wham!

"Better start running," Pike grinned as the two heard the sound of footsteps that followed the courtyard door opening.

"Not the balls! Not the balls!" Scanlan cried, cupping his boys as he fled.

"Where-"

"That way," Pike directed Naruto before he could finish.

"Thanks, Pike. Scanlan, take it like a man!"

"Fuck that!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!" shouted a cranky Vex.

Not anymore if the groans and cursing from the other rooms were indicators.

Oh, Pike could honestly say she was gonna have fun with this.

XxXxX
​

Sometime later, after catching Scanlan and then having breakfast soon afterwards, Vox Machina all sat in the dining hall and Naruto was scowling as the rest of the group looked at their youngest and newest member with varying looks. Most prominent among them was Vex, whom Naruto quickly learned was the mother hen of the band of misfits. Kinda ironic as Pike was the oldest woman of the group, from what Naruto learned, even if by gnomish standards, she wasn't even technically an adult.

"Fork it over," Vex ordered.

"Bite me," the blond countered.

"Trinket?" Vex countered back.

The large brown bear stood in front of the elementian and growled at him with white fangs strong enough to crush a person's skull.

"First off, you need a breath mint," Naruto told the bear - not the least bit fazed, though the chuff of bad breath that assaulted his nose made his eyes water slightly, "Second, come back when you're a hundred feet tall."

The comment confused the group, "Hundred feet tall?"

"In my world, we have animals like bears, monkeys, toads, snakes, slugs the size of small mountains that you can sign a contract with. Takes a ton of chakra to summon them, but man is it worth it," and it was also something Naruto missed being able to do.

The last time he tried, the blond ended up summoning a devil toad from the Hells and some slaads. Neither party, himself included, had been happy with the incident.

"Don't try to distract us. Scroll. Gold. Now," Vex ordered.

"Down! Sit! Bad girl!" Naruto shot back, the group snickering while Vex's mouth was wide open.

"You little sh-"

"Naruto, we agreed that the treasure we acquired would be split evenly. Besides, judging by the state of our keep, I believe we'll end up using most of our new finances to bring it up to par. The council is only covering so much, even after apologizing for failing to maintain it," Percy noted sourly, flicking off a spider that landed on his shoulder.

"Can we start with that excuse we call a washroom on the top floor?" Pike shivered along with Naruto and a few more of Vox Machina.

Greyskull Keep, as their new home was called, was a large castle-like structure of stone that was located on a hill on the outskirts of Emon's slums. The keep had definitely seen better days and but it wasn't a squalid hell hole. The keep had two floors, not including the basement, which had a few holding cells for some reason, and the keep was surrounded by high and thick walls to prevent intruders. Outside were a few trees and enough space to grow a vegetable garden and flowers. The inside wasn't in terrible shape, and the rooms each of them slept in were more than adequate, but some areas clearly needed some tender loving care and no small amount of pest control in certain spots. The fact they had a keep had been offset by the realization that it required maintenance that would have to come out of their own pocket.

"Still say we should sell it," Scanlan groused.

"Who in their right mind would want to buy a fixer-upper?"

"Someone with enough time on their hands and know how to flip it?"

"We're not selling it," Vex sighed, even if she mentally agreed their new home required some attention.

"Fine. But I insist we hire a maid, and a cook, and a butler. If we're gonna live in a place like this, we can at least live fancy," Scanlan decided then and there.

"That's not a bad idea, actually," Vax admitted after a light pause and Vex herself quite liked the sound of that, too, as did most of the group.

"It is if Scanlan's the one who hires them," Percy pointed out, but admitted that a cook would be useful. None of them really knew how to cook all that well.

"Good point," a few agreed as one.

"Damn it," Scanlan snapped his fingers. So much for that plan. And so much for crossing that off his bucket list. Oh, sure he slept with cooks before but not in a master/servant capacity.

Roleplay didn't count.

"We'll also need some guards to watch over it from time to time. We are champions of Tal'Dorei. We'll need to leave every now and then," Percy's mind went back to the lessons he partook in as a child. He was only the third child and not set to inherit Whitestone but his parents had said his sharp mind would easily benefit him as its castellan, "There's also food and wages to consider-"

"All of which cost money. So, I repeat, hand over the scroll," Vex asked one final time.

Naruto sighed, but given Percy's argument had merit, he grabbed the parchment in question and tossed it to the half-elf ranger.

"See? Was that so hard?" Vex's cheeky face was one of victory. But as she opened the scroll, "...How do you use this thing?"

It was now Naruto's turn to be cheeky, "You can't. The seal on there is from my homeland and designed to only be opened by my chakra in particular."

"It's blood magic?"

"No idea what that is. The seal's just designed to recognize my particular chakra signature as the key."

Vex merely rolled her eyes. That was the actual definition of blood magic. Tossing the scroll to the group cleric, the ranger said, "Pike, work your magic."

"Uh, okay, sure. I'll just... um...Yeah, I got no fucking clue how this works," Pike was forced to admit, unable to make heads or tails of the sealing array.

"Told ya~" Naruto sang.

"What if I cut it?"

"No!" Naruto quickly stopped the halfwit goliath. Sure the scroll wouldn't allow any one but him to open it but that didn't mean it was indestructable, "Do that and bye-bye treasure!"

"Grog, put the axe down nice and easy," Keyleth told him.

"And by that we mean don't cut anything."

"Aw, but I wanna cut something," he whined.

"Go chop a tree outside. We could use some firewood," Vax's comment earned him an unimpressed look from the ashari. Dead wood was one thing, living was another.

"Naruto. Please?" Pike asked with a pleading look, handing him his scroll.

"Hah, fine," Naruto took it from the small woman's hands, "Damn puppy dog look."

"Nice one, Pike," Vex smirked at the grinning gnome.

"Might I point out this would be best done in the solar?" Percy advised. The keep had a room large enough to be used as a treasury once all the necessary upkeep was finished but until then the solar was the only room large enough to do this properly. The group rose from the table and, after a bit of effort to open the large rusted door that led out of the dining hall, headed up to the second floor where the solar was located.

Once inside, Grog opened up the group's bag of holding and dumped out a small pile of treasure onto the ground, including the small armful of loot Vex acquired before they fled Brimscythe's lair. Naruto did the same with his own bag of holding, the pile being more modest in size. The scroll, however, after channeling chakra onto the seal blinded the group with white smoke before a large mound occupied nearly a quarter to a third of the room.

"JACKPOT!" Scanlan, grinning like mad, jumped onto the pile.

Thud!

And instantly regretted it, "Ugh! It's not a liquid! It's a great many pieces of solid matter that form a hard, floor-like surface! Owww!" Scanlan groaned from the pain, the gnome mentally wishing he hadn't done that.

"Booty!" Grog boomed at the large pile of treasure, grabbing an armful and tossing it up in the air.

Much of which landed on Scanlan, "Ow! Hurt gnome here!"

Percy rolled his eyes at their antics, "Start organizing. Gold coins in one area, non-magical treasure over there, and anything not fitting that bill goes near the desk."

"Sounds boring. Can't we hire an accountant or a butler to do it?" Scanlan, having recovered from his over-the-top episode, asked the noble.

"Do you know someone?"

"No?"

"Then shut up and get to it," Vex ordered the bard.

"Aw, man. This is gonna take hours," the eldest member of the group moaned, but a look from Vex had him do as he was told.

Sure as he predicted, the task of sorting the dead dragon's hoard into different piles took nearly two hours before they were finally done. And Scanlan could honestly say he was sick of looking at gold.

"That's the last of it. Phew," Pike sighed, her eyes going back to normal, "No more magical items."

"Good job, everyone. Now we just need to get the treasure appraised."

"Alright, and who gets what out of the equipment?"

"Dibs on these!" Pike declared, holding up a pair of wicked-looking gauntlets.

"Pike!"

"You snooze, you lose, De Rollo," Pike grinned, slipping on the gauntlets and feeling a surge of strength, "I knew it! Gauntlets of Ogre Power. Hoho! Yeah!"

"No fair!" Grog told his best friend. The goliath lunged at her, but Pike shocked the group by slipping under him and lifting their tallest member above her with both hands, "Whoa! Wat just happened?"

"Ohoho! Bad ass!" Pike whooped, though her face strained and became red rather quickly.

"You okay there, Pike?"

"I'm...good...Ugh, buddies, you need to go on a diet!" Pike groaned before she was forced to set him down. Even with the gauntlets' power, Grog was a very big boy and she was still a gnome, "What else we got?"

"Hey!"

The group each grabbed an item they believed would suit them best. Vax grabbed a dagger that lit itself on fire. Grog a pair of boots that Pike didn't recognize, while Vex took a pair of Bracers of Archery. Pike also helped herself to a mace that looked better than her old one. Percy took a ring that caught his eye. Scanlan took a beret that changed color to match his outfit and Naruto grabbed a black and orange gi-like robe that made him think of the monks he encountered with Ero-sennin on their trip. Most ninja rarely wore armor except for flak jackets over ordinary clothing and even then some didn't wear them to blend in as ordinary civilians.

Naruto took off what he presently had and quickly put on the robe while Scanlan was distracted. The moment he did, Naruto began to feel the magic clothing subtly affect him. He felt lighter on his feet, more prepared. It was an odd sensation. Not unwelcoming, but even after being in this new reality for seven years, Naruto still found the sensation odd. Heck, the entire concept of magic items felt odd. But damned if he wasn't gonna benefit from it.

Naruto admired himself and straightened out the new robe before he felt his hand brush against something in one of pocket. Fetching it out, Naruto held a small, unassuming book. Ordinarily, he'd have dismissed it, given the ring he wore didn't allow him to read Common, only speak and understand it. But somehow the words on the book's cover registered in his mind.

The blond let curiosity get the better of him and opened the book to see if his mind was playing tricks, but even then, he could still understand the book's contents as though they were from his own native tongue. So eager was he after all this time to read something else that wasn't already in his possession that Naruto had little time to react when as the book glowed, the words shining like stars in a dark still night before they danced around him like a flock of birds in the sky. Some of the words crawled from the book's pages and into his hands and arms.

Even after Naruto dropped it, the book's contents continued to pour forth onto his feet and legs. Vox Machina shouted and Grog tried destroying the book with his axe but found himself flung away from its magic. Knowledge suddenly began to pour into Naruto's mind, body and soul. He felt like another person, his muscles flexing and moving in a way they never moved before yet felt as natural and as easy as breathing. Suddenly, the book shone a brilliant rainbow of colours and blinded all of them before it snapped shut and their vision was restored.

"Da fuck was dat?!" Grog crudely summed up what they were all thinking.

"I thought you said nothing was cursed?" Vex scowled at their cleric.

"I did! Where'd it even come from?"

"It was in the robe," Naruto answered.

"See! It must have blocked it," Pike theorized.

"Forget about that. Are you alright?" Keyleth asked their youngest member.

"Yeah. I mean, I think so?" Naruto didn't feel off in a bad way.

"Why did you read it? I thought you said you couldn't read common?" Percy recalled.

"I can't! Somehow I could understand what was written as if..." Naruto became one of longing.

"As if it was from home?" Keyleth deduced, and Naruto nodded.

"Yeah. Felt nice reading something from home I hadn't already read over and over again," Naruto admitted and several in the group understood.

But, feeling guilty for what transpired, Pike's eyes glowed along with her hands as she concentrated on Naruto form, "I'm not sensing a curse. I don't believe the book is evil-"

"Pardon me if I'll just take your word for it," Vex sighed, "Come on. We're taking you to Gilmore's. If anyone knows what just happened, it's him."

"Right, and taking him to the council is a bad idea because?" Scanlan pointed out the flaw.

"Least you forget, the council said they're busy at the moment, dealing with the new security pact and preparing for the dignitaries from all over Tal'Dorei," Percy reminded.

"And Lady Allura is protective of him. You think she'll take it well that this happened under our watch?"

"Yeah, well...shaddup," Scanlan retorted.

"Exactly. You grab the book. Brother, grab some gold, and some of the loot we can pawn off. You're coming with," Vex ordered Naruto and her twin.

"Of course, I am," Vax did as ordered. Despite being the older twin, Vex ordered him around as though he weren't.

"Percy, darling, make sure they don't fuck shit up even more," Vex asked the noble.

"Me?" Vex cocked an eyebrow and glanced at Scanlan, Grog, Keyleth, and Pike and the man quickly saw her point, "You're asking an awful lot, Vex'ahlia."

"Put it on my tab," was her simple reply.

XxXxX
​

"Ah, my dear Vax'ildan, finally decided to grace me with your presence?" Gilmore smiled at the half-elf.

"Well, you know us unconventional champion types," Vax smiled back.

"I must admit, I was quite surprised to hear you and your little ragtag group managed to defeat the dragon, even more when the council made you honorary members and champions of the realm. Quite the lofty title to live up to, Vax'ildan. I hope you won't forget just who helped you in that regard?"

"We're here, too, Gilmore," Vex rolled her eyes as the two flirted, "And we need your help."

"Oh? So soon?"

"'Fraid so. We were going through some of the spoils we acquired-"

"I acquired," Naruto interjected.

"-and this idiot went and grabbed something that was overlooked," Vax finished.

Gilmore's flirty look changed to a more serious one, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"According to Pike but seeing as how she missed it, would you mind giving him and the book a once over?"

"Book?" Gilmore inquired and Naruto produced said item and the shop owner's mood shifted once more, "Ah, well, you can rest easy then. It's a magical manual."

"It is? Kinda scruffy looking for one of those, isn't?" Vax had seen one once during a job but security to nab the item in question had been too tight for him.

"It's likely a minor one."

"Manuals?" Naruto inquired.

"You don't know what a-Oh, right, not from here," Vex sighed.

"Indeed. A manual, and I'm not referring to your everyday manual like a cookbook my grandmother once had - gods, rest her soul - is a book or scroll that's etched with very potent magic that will certainly help improve your very handsome self. Manuals are books and tomes imbued with impressive forms of magic that when opened and read grant the reader new abilities or enhanced ones. Quite pricy and not that easy to find, and very difficult to make, and even they pale in comparison to the more potent manuals from the Age of Arcanum, the few that miraculously survived the Calamity that is. Fortunately for you, I happen to have a book that catalogues all known manuals ever discovered," with a snap of his fingers Shaun called forth a very large leather-bound book that, much like everything in the store, was well-kept but worn in a few places here and there, "My own personal catalogue. Over the years, I've added my own findings to it whenever I discover an unknown tome. Now then, let's see."

Naruto, Vex, and Vax waited patiently as Gilmore went over the catalogue. When more than five minutes passed, the trio began looking at any time that might interest them.

"Odd. I'm not finding anything that fits the desc-Wait! Here we are...Oh, my dear innocent orange-wearing prankster, do you have any idea what you have in you-Oh, what am I saying, of course you don't, you adorable little-"

"Get to the point, Gilmore," Vex ordered the merchant.

"Fine, fine. Ruin a man's fun. This is without a doubt a Manual of Doubleway Douglas Fairbanks."

"Never heard of him," Naruto stated.

"Fuck!" Vax's cursing wail told them he was in the know, "Do you have any idea how valuable this book is?!"

"I'm guessing you're gonna tell me?" Naruto quipped.

"Doubleway's manuals are prized by dual wielders everywhere. The man lived centuries ago, and while only a few remember him, his teachings in certain circles were greatly prized along with anything he possessed."

"My dear Vax'ildan speaks the truth. Doubleway's manuals work similarly to others in that the magic in them ingrains into the reader's mind and body the knowledge on how to use his fighting style. According to this, the man was a legendary dual-wielder, and many accounts claimed he was blessed unlike any other in the art to the point that no one has ever come close to his level of skill. However, he had vices for gambling and women, which left him broke more often than not. After selling off his last possession, or losing it, Doubleway befriended a wizard and had special manuals made and then sold them for a decent profit. However, unlike the other dozens of other manuals that functioned similarly, only three were made before Doubleway died, so their value and worth have since skyrocketed."

"And you read one of them!" Vax exclaimed, part pissed and part sad. Mostly sad.

"So? Here ya go. Take it," Naruto told the half-elf but it only served to incense the man further.

"The damn thing's bloody useless now!" Vax wanted to strangle him.

"How?" Naruto was confused and his ignorance wasn't doing him any favours. Though it served to amuse Vex and Shaun.

"I'm afraid that once read, the magic in such manuals go dormant for a century before it can impart such wisdom once again," Shaun had a teasing grin.

Naruto could only say one thing under the circumstances, "Whoops."

Vax's eye twitched fiercely, and drew his new dagger, "I'm gonna stab you now."

"None of that in my shop," Shaun sternly ordered, "Even magic has a hard time getting blood out. Doesn't do well for business, either."

"Besides, brother, you still have the book. It may take a while, but you'll be able to learn from it. Give or take a century," Vex added playfully.

"Assuming we live that long," the life elvenkind like himself and Vex were very long-lived ones, more than a couple of centuries, but that was no guarantee, especially so when when they lived the life of an adventurer or mercenary, "This day can't get worse."

"Oh, my! Apparently, the last time one came into possession of one of these manuals, with the magic intact, it reached a price of 88,000 gold at auction," Shaun revealed from his notes.

Apparently it could get worse, "I hate you, Shaun."

"100,000 gold?! You're dead!" Vex exclaimed furiously at the blond.

"Where did that number come from?!"

"I rounded up!"

"W-w-wait, it might still be worth something, right?" Naruto looked to Shaun.

"Oh, it is," Shaun said, "But with its magic dormant for a century, you'll be lucky to get a collector willing to fork over 4000 gold for it. Most likely, you'll only get half that," Shaun laughed.

"DIE!" the twins yelled.

"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"

"HELP!" Naruto yelped as Vex knocked back an arrow.

xXxXx
​

"...What the hell happened to those two?"

"They tried getting revenge on the king of pranks," Naruto grinned, "Didn't end well."

"88,000 gold. Gone," Vex muttered over and over.

"What's with her?"

"Doubleway's fighting style. Gone," Vax muttered over and over.

"And him?"

"Trust me, if I tell you it'll piss you off," and the blond didn't want others on his case.

One of the first things Allura and Kima taught him was the worth of money in this world, and 88,000 gold was no small amount. To rulers, lords, merchant guilds and highly experienced and successful mercenary parties, it was chump change. But to people like him and Vox Machina, 88,000 gold was a fortune. Naruto didn't know what the conversation rate to his world's currency would be but guessed it was easily in the A-Rank mission pay range pay.

"You good?" Pike asked, guilty for missing the book that imparted its magic into him.

"I'm fine."

The gnome sighed in relief, her body losing its tension, "Good. Good to know."

"So, what did that book do anyway?" Scanlan asked, and Naruto made a note to kick him extra hard.

"Our newest member's book was a manual," Vex groused.

"A manual? Damn! Those things are rare," Scanlan frowned.

"And worth quite the large sum," Percy recalled.

"Can we not talk about it?" Vax muttered, unable to stop himself from sending a dark glance at Naruto, "Anyway, Gilmore gave us a good deal on the goods we sold him. Told us to bring him any more we have on hand."

"Good to know. We finished the count and not totalling the gems and other treasure, we have 25,487 gold to our name, and if we sell the rest, we're looking at another 3000 or maybe 4000 gold," Percy revealed. The comment served to perk up the two half-elves. Not bothering to remind the two that it would be reduced significantly after the maintenance and wages they'd have to pay even with the council helping with the bill.

"We're rich, baby! Let's get some w-"

"If you finish that sentence, I'll-"

"What I was gonna say before I was rudely cut off - gotta work on that, Vex - is wine and food," Scanlan huffed.

Vex blinked, not expecting that. And honestly, food sounded quite good right about now.

Scanlan smiled and mentally patted himself on the back for his quickly bought lie.

"And more good news, the council sent some funds along with a list of qualified individuals to guard and maintain the keep while you were gone," Percy included, and then added, "And I'll make sure they aren't hired solely on their looks."

"Boo!" jeered a certain bard. Looks so did play a factor.

"Well, if we're all done here, I'm gonna go do some training," Naruto informed the group, proceeding to make his way to the yard.

"Ooh, can we spar?" Grog asked with an excited look on his face.

"Normally, I'd be first in line to take you up on that, but this is more solo training, and no, that's not an excuse to go and masturbate," Naruto directed that at Scanlan.

"I didn't say anything!"

"You were thinking it."

.

..

...

"Maybe," Scanlan admitted after a few moments.

"Thought so," Naruto waved at them and continued off to the yard.

"I don't like this kid. He can read minds. Wait, can your people do that?" Scanlan quickly asked. Sure, some here could do it but that required spells.

"Well, there's Ino's clan from back home who specialized in mind based ninjutsu, so maybe. But, no. You're just an open book," said the blond.

"And a deviant, even a blind man would see," Vex added.

"Sure, pick on the gorgeous gnome."

"I thought we were picking on you, not Pike?"

"Aw! Thanks, buddies," the cleric grinned at the goliath as Scanlan pouted.

(Several Weeks Later)
​

"Miss me. Too slow. Baachan moves faster, and she's sixty. Are you even trying?"

"Shut up and stand still!"

"Has saying that ever worked?"

"Uh...um...Hey, Pike, has it?"

"Point me!"

"Oof! Little turd!"

"Says the giant grayish turd. Probably should get that checked out," was Naruto's cheeky reply.

"Raaahhh!"

"Focus, buddies," Pike laughed. She honestly never thought she'd meet someone who could match Grog's endurance, but while Grog was sweaty after hours of training, Naruto was barely breaking out.

The two had been initially fighting with weapons - blunted ones, per Pike's orders - but had since switched it up to unarmed combat. Honestly Naruto still found it weird that he could suddenly dual-wield. It was so natural, too, as if he had been practicing and learning since an early age. It also applied to his techniques. Naruto had always favoured his right hand only on the odd occasion used his left. Now it felt as natural as the right one. Honestly, it was kinda nice to have something else to boost his arsenal given his limited ninjutsu list. Vax still bitched about it on occasion whenever they spared. What had taken the half-elf years of training to accomplish took Naruto seconds thanks to the manual. It kinda felt like cheating, if Naruto was honest. But then ninja cheated all the time and used whatever dirty trick in the book, and then some, to win.

So, meh.

"Come on, Grog! I got 100 gold riding on you," Scanlan shouted at him.

"Better not be the 100 gold you owe me, Scanlan!" Naruto deadpanned as the gnome whistled innocently, "Cheeky pint-sized-"

"Gotcha!" Grog declared with a vicious grin, his arms wrapped tightly around the group's second-tallest member.

"Oh, Kami, you're sweaty! So gross," and the smell -ugh!- it was potent.

"Say uncle!" Grog tightened his hold.

"Never! Uzumaki Naruto never quits!" even if his lungs were being crushed, "It'll...take more...than a bruised...spine to-"

"You'd better do as he says, Naruto," Pike laughed some more.

"Uzumaki Naruto... is no one's... bitch!"

"I dunno. Looks like you're Grog's at the moment. Pay up, Pike," Scanlan smirked. His 100 gold was in the bag.

"Not yet."

"Say uncle!" Grog tightened his hold even more.

"Henge!" Naruto said instead and Grog blushed as the blond was replaced with a beautiful naked woman, one all three knew all too well, "Aww~Grog, darling, I never knew you were so strong, big boy~"

"Ahh, Vex?!" Grog blushed and immediately covered his eyes, "Sorry! I didn't-Please don't hurt me!"

"I win!"

"Wha?" Grog uncovered his eyes and paled, "Not my winky!"

"Declare me the winner or else!" Naruto pressed the kunai closer.

"You win! You win, Vex! Leave Mr. Winky alone!" the goliath pleaded.

"Damn straight," Naruto withdrew the kunai and the goliath sighed in relief. Him too. That bear hug was unpleasant.

"It's okay, Mr. Winky. The mean knife's gone," Grog comforted his dick.

"Kunai!" there was a big difference between the two.

"Forget that. You cheated!" Scanlan declared. The bout was only meant to be a physical one. Naruto was faster, but Grog had superior strength.

"One word: ninja," a ninja who didn't play dirty wasn't gonna last long, "And that's never stopped Grog either."

"She ain't wrong," Grog admitted. While most goliaths had a strict code of honour when it came to combat and competitions, frowning heavily on cheaters and bad form, Grog was of a different mindset and took whatever opportunity he could to win.

"Either way, you owe me 100 gold, Scanlan. And Naruto, you mind changing back before Vex sees?"

"What the fuck?!"

"Too late," Scanlan grinned as Pike groaned.

"What's wrong, Vex? Not ashamed, are you?" the transformed Naruto posed, making certain things bounce.

Grog and Scanlan had nose bleeds and gave him the thumbs up while Pike was sighing and shaking her head.

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Vex, what's-GODS!" Vax instantly looked away, "THE FUCK, VEX?"

"That's not me!"

"What's going on? Are we-OH, SHIT! Vex, why are you naked?!"

"NOT. ME!" Vex repeated, voice and face red with fury.

"Oh, I love it," a quick cloud of white later, and Naruto was back to his usual form, "Although, I don't think I quite captured the breasts."

"Nah, you were spot on," Scanlan quickly realized what he just admitted, but it was too late, "Fuck! Wah!"

"I knew it! That was you!" Vex knocked another arrow to replace the one she just loosed, "I swear, Vex. I swear I didn't peep on you! Those were your exact words."

The gnome made the wise decision to flee on his giant hand, "In my defence, are you really that surprised I lied?"

"That's your excuse?!" Vex roared.

"Didn't say it was a good one. And I regret nothing!"

"You will in a moment, gnome! Trinket!"

"Oh, come on!" Scanlan ran as fast as his small legs could carry him from the animal companion easily three times his size. Which, to be fair, was still quite impressive for a gnome.

"Who wants to bet she'll beat him within an inch of his life if she catches him?" Pike asked.

"Suckers beat," said the rest.

"Get off me, you overgrown floor rug!"

"Nowhere to run!"

"Not the face!"

Wham!

The men winced.

"Not...there...either," a voice squeaked.

"Believe me when I say I'm doing every one of your future conquests a favour!" the savage grin on Vex's face scared everyone present.

"Vex, don't you think-"

"Do I have to remind you and Keyleth this happened when all three of us were bathing?" Vex quickly added, a vicious grin on her face.

Scanlan felt dread envelop his entire being like an unwanted wet blanket as Pike and Keyleth quickly put the dates together and realized Vex, unfortunately for Scanlan, spoke true.

"Leave some for us," Pike summoned her mace and slipped on her new gauntlets as she and Keyleth approached the downed bard.

"Help?" Scanlan saw the men had scattered, "Yeah, that checks."

The gnome gulped helplessly as the trio of women stood over him. Normally, this would be a dream come true, but given what was to come, it was more appropriate to call it a nightmare.

XxXxX
​

In the dining hall, a very content Vex scratched Trinket behind the ear and earned a content sound from the bear as the two nibbled on food prepared by their cook, Laina Yor. The woman was plump but not unattractive, with plain blond hair and quite skilled at her craft and not afraid of Trinket or preparing food for Vex's animal companion.

Across from her, Scanlan had cuts and bruises in various places and was wincing from a certain precious area as he ate his chicken. Pike could have healed him quite easily but given what the bard had accidentally admitted to, Scanlan would be forced to suffer until she felt ready and willing to ease the pain. Which, given she had a role in inflicting said pain, wasn't going to be any time soon.

Percy, ever the dignified noble, ate with the grace and propriety of someone of his upbringing: slowly, methodically, back straight. To the rest of Vox Machina, it gave the impression he had a ten-foot rod up his ass. Grog's manners were a stark contrast to the human noble: plate filled with food, hunched over, his arm over the plate as though he believed someone would steal it from him.

Naruto himself was hunched over too, though his manner was much tamer by comparison due to lessons Kima and Allura, mostly Allura, pounded into the blond's thick skull over the past two years.

And Vax.

"Gah!" Vax doubled over as an intense throbbing flared up below the belt, dropping the food he was carrying as he went down.

"Seven to two!" Grog grinned proudly.

"I never agreed to this stupid game," the rogue said with a groaning growl.

Naruto counted his blessings that he was on the other side of the table. He was fast. He could endure pain. But a blow to the nuts would still hurt like hell.

"Must you?"

"Not everyone can be aloof, tight asses, De Rolo," Scanlan retorted.

"I'm simply suggesting you could practice some restraint."

"Emotions aren't meant to be bottled up, darling," Vex'ahlia began to say until Scanlan cut her off.

"No, but unleashing them on a poor, defenceless gnome-" and wisely shut up when she cracked her knuckles.

"Hey, uh, Naruto, you okay? You're barely touching your food," Keyleth inquired.

"Sorry, just...hah, missing food from home," that wasn't to say the food was bad - it wasn't great compared to his old world; decent at best for a world without modernized food storage - but Naruto missed quite a bit of food he once enjoyed and became melancholic whenever the thought crossed his mind.

"What did your people eat?"

"Stuff like this, though we had stores you could buy in bulk and refrigerate or put in a freezer."

"Refrigerate?"

"Freezer?"

"Appliances we used to store food to make 'em last longer, keep them cool, fresh, or keep frozen until we decide to unthaw them for later. We also had dry goods you could pour hot water on to make 'em soft and put spices or meat to make 'em taste better," Naruto elaborated. Bags of Holding didn't do that compared his scrolls.

"The more I hear about your world, the more fascinated I am by the technology you have," Percy honestly saw hundreds of benefits behind the idea, "Our world must have been quite the shock by comparison."

"You have no idea," Naruto freely admitted, "Other than the washroom I mentioned, I miss ramen and hot showers."

"Hot showers?"

"A shower's like a bath, but it's water that pours down from pipes directly on you while you stand."

"So, it's basically a waterfall inside a home?"

"A waterfall where you can adjust the temperature freely," Naruto elaborated.

"That, that sounds heavenly," Vex admitted and several agreed with her.

"Yep."

"And ramen?"

"Food of the gods," Naruto moaned. Kami did he miss Ichiraku Ramen. Especially the people who ran it. What he wouldn't give to have it and see them one last time.

"Seriously?"

"Pretty sure he's just exaggerating, buddies. Right?"

Before Naruto could answer, a knock on the dining hall door alerted them, "Milords, miladies. Lady Allura's here to see you."

"Thank you, Erwen. See her in," Percy told their halfling butler. Barely a second went by before the door opened, having previously been kicked off by Grog over a week ago when it had gotten stuck, and the Mistress of Arcana walked through.

"Vox Machina. Naruto. I see the keep is coming along," Allura commented, and honestly, it was a better sight than before.

"What's up, Allura-neechan?"

"Why do you call her that?"

"Huh?"

"You keep calling her Allura-nee-chan, and Lady Kima-oh-nee-chan. What does it mean?"

"It means I need to get a better ring," given their new wealth, technically his, Naruto was certain that he could afford a better version of the Ring of Tongues as the translation wasn't the best, "but it means sister. But not blood-related in this case. It's a term of endearment. Onee-chan means big sister. Older sister, technically."

"Oh, I get it, cuz she's small," Grog laughed.

"Yes, well, riveting as this conversation is, I came on official business," the woman admitted.

"Oh, Lady Allura, you didn't have to come all this way to give us a house-warming gift," Vax jested, having never received anything from her or the other council members when they first moved in.

Though he jested, a few dozen logs to heat up the place wouldn't be unwelcoming if Vax was honest. The keep was steadily being repaired but it wasn't a quick project and certain areas were still quite drafty here and there and none of them knew the proper spells for such a thing.

"I didn't. Well, actually, I did bring you all these," with a weaving of magic and simple gestures did a box shimmer into being and float before the group, "Earrings of Whisper. I've had them enchanted, so when you're in Emon, you will be able to communicate with one another, no matter the distance. Outside the city, they'll be limited to 500 feet."

"Handy that," Vax admitted as he grabbed an earring, a dark obsidian one.

"This isn't gonna hurt, is it?" Naruto inquired.

"It'll slip on as though your ears were already pierced," Allura reassured her ward.

"Cool, dibs on the red spiral one," Naruto declared. The earring's function made him think of the earpieces they had back in Konoha.

"This is very kind of you, Lady Allura," Percy thanked her.

"I honestly wouldn't have bothered if Naruto wasn't involved in your group," Allura said with a straight face.

"Of course you wouldn't," Vex sighed. Still, a free gift was better than none.

"Also, Naruto, I've taken the liberty of getting you a better Ring of Tongues," she revealed, handing Naruto a silver metal band, "It works similar to your current one but with the addition of allowing you to read and write in common."

"Sweet!" that would definitely come in handy.

"Oi! Why does he get more gifts?" Grog demanded.

Allura, once again, ignored him, "Onto to business then. I'm here to remind you that Sovereign Uriel expects you to be at his dinner to discuss the new security pact."

"Oh, shit, that's tonight?" Vex honestly lost track.

"Finally. A proper evening of protocol and civilized conversation," Percy had the look of a child in a candy store as he spoke and reminisced of better times.

"It's more than just a party. Dignitaries from across the realm are here to form a new security pact. We must put our best foot forward

"Right, which foot is that?" Grog inquired.

"Hey, Pike, want to be my date? I promise to be on my best-worst behavior," Scanlan inquired.

"Oh, I-I'm okay."

Lady Allura, we appreciate the gravity of the situation and will present ourselves with the utmost dignity," Vax's words nearly convinced the councilwoman had he not followed up with a quick, unexpected blow to Grog's balls.

The goliath hunched over in pain, cupping his bruised boys, "Yeah. Good one. Seven to five.

"Five? He was just at two?

"Oh, yeah, that was a three-pointer. You see, the rules of ball-tag are as complex as they are beautiful."

"I-I shall brief them on royal etiquette and manners. You have my word, nothing will go wrong."

"My balls. Ahh! Hurts so much."

"Right...Naruto, come with me."

"Huh? Why?"

"Etiquette lessons."

"Aw, man," Naruto hated that crap.

"Now!"

Naruto could only groan as he followed after the wizard.

"Whipped!" someone coughed.

"Sleep with your eyes open, Scanlan!" Naruto threatened as the two left.

"But that wasn't me!" and the gnome was being truthful.

(Hours later)
​

"I have to admit, you clean up rather well," Vex eyed Naruto's new attire.

"I feel like punching myself. And why does he get to go shirtless?" Naruto pointed at Grog.

"They don't exactly make things in his size around these parts, darling. And, well, it's Grog?" was the reply he got and Naruto groaned and huffed.

"Oh, relax, you look nice," Keyleth smiled at him.

"Thanks," Naruto muttered. He would have preferred a yukata from home but such a design didn't exist in this world. Sure, he used a henge to show off what it looked like to Kima and Allura but in their mind it looked like a fancy bathrobe. So Naruto was stuck wearing the usual recommended attire that the nobles and important dignitaries wore. The attire was akin to Percy's as, despite his desire, Allura and Kima put their foot down on the bright 'here I am' colours Naruto preferred.

Naruto cursed himself for not using a neutral color for the yukata instead, it might have changed things.

"Right, now remember: be cordial, be professional, be courteous," Percy told them only for Vax and Grog to mock him with a curtsy. At least, the De Rolo hoped it was mockery, "Let's go."

"Halt. No weapons allowed. You can get them back when you leave," said a guard, "'Cept you. You're clear to go."

"Phew," Naruto sighed in relief.

"Hey, why does he get ta keep his weapon?"

"Special permission from Sovereign Uriel," the guard shrugged, not caring and perhaps not knowing the reason for such an exception.

"That's weird," Pike wondered why Naruto was given such permission. Was it valuable? Sure, the sword had a unique design compared to common shortswords but there had to be more to it then that?

"Weapons, or no entry. You're holding up the line," the guard informed Vox Machina, the group reluctantly offering their arms and allowed access.

"So, Naruto, been meaning to ask, what's with the sword?" Keyleth inquired.

"It's...special," Naruto told her.

"You mean it does other things than glow and talk to you?" Scanlan inquired.

"Something like that," was the cryptic reply.

"You going to give us a non-cryptic answer?"

"Nope-Oh, damn," Naruto frowned at their snickering.

"Introducing from Emon...Vox Machina?" came the herald's announcement as they arrived.

"Is that all you have to say? Move over, VOX MACHINA, CHAMPIONS OF JUSTICE, HUNTERS OF DRAGONS, DESTROYERS OF CHASTITY!" Scanlan announced and earned many a gasp from the assembled nobles and dignitaries.

"Takers of chastity?" Naruto muttered.

"Gods damn it, Scanlan," Vex also muttered, her tone promising pain to the annoyingly hormone-driven gnome.

"Crowds turning on us," Keyleth nervously mentioned, seeing their judgmental looks.

"Sorry, folks. Brain injury from the dragon. Spouts randomly stuff from time to time. Poor guy has no control over it," Naruto quickly came to their rescue with an on-the-fly bullshit, his hand covering Scanlan's mouth. The judgmental looks many gave them softened to sympathetic looks and the nobles that were former adventures gave looks of understanding. Not all bought it, but many did.

"Quick save," Vax approved as did Vex.

"Not my first time making something up to cover my ass," neglecting to mention it didn't always work.

"Definitely not letting you announce us ever again," Vex hissed at the gnome.

"Who cares. That head injury thing will get me some sympathy sex," winked the gnome.

Surprisingly, it didn't annoy the elf and she merely chuckled but Naruto was in disbelief.

"That won't work...Will it?" Naruto asked after a moment's hesitation.

"Big time," said Vax, Pike, Scanlan, and Vex.

"Oh, well, you do you, I guess."

"Enough of that. Stick together and-" Percy stopped whatever he was going to say as the rest of Vox Machina except Naruto and Vex dispersed, "...or you know. Do whatever."

"Not going to mingle, darling?"

"Not really into these things, or all that comfortable," was the honest reply. Give him a mission, monsters to slay or maybe a prank and he was aces. But mingling with nobles was experience he lacked and while he normally wouldn't give a damn what they thought if he slipped up, Naruto owed it to Kima and Allura.

"Sir Naruto!"

"Um, hi?" Naruto greeted the small child who called his name, "Who are you?"

"That would be my son," spoke Uriel, "Sir Naruto of Vox Machina, my wife Salda, empress of Tal'Dorei, and our children: Odessa, Illiya, and Gren Tal'Dorei. Gren's been waiting to meet you for some time now. "

"Me?" cool, he had a fan.

"Is it true you're an elementian?"

"Gren, mind your manners," Empress Salda chided her youngest.

"But mom-"

"Listen to your mother," Uriel softly yet firmly told his only son, "Apologies. Children will be children."

Naruto waved it off, "Don't worry about it. To be honest, I'm not that much into protocol."

"That incident with Goldhand would certainly attest to that," said the empress, her voice a little colder now.

"Oh, right, you were there. Heheheh, sorry. Didn't know there'd be kids," was the nervous reply.

Salda merely chuckled and Naruto blinked, "There's always an unexpected variable, isn't there?"

"Salda was a troublemaker herself when we were children," Uriel laughed as he recalled a few instances, "though nothing quite as unique as we witnessed."

"Honestly, I think I was more upset that I never thought of something like that," said the empress.

"What are you talking about?" Illiya inquired.

"Nothing. Just boring adult talk. I must say, for someone not into protocol, you certainly dressed for the occasion," Uriel complimented and quickly changed the subject.

"Blame Kima-oneechan and Allura-neechan," Naruto groused.

"Nee-chan?" asked Illiya Tal'Dorei.

"Means sister or big sister in my language. Term of endearment," Naruto quickly explained and then noticed the red face of their other daughter, "You okay?"

"Fine!" she squeaked rather quickly and shrank in on herself.

"Odessa?" Emon wondered what was wrong with his eldest.

Percy and Vex, who were watching from the sidelines, snickered or had a bemused look; both knew what that look meant.

"Oh, crap, she's the one who was at the incident, right?" Naruto hesitated to ask.

"Indeed she was," was the empress' reply, but rather than have the upset look of a parent, her face was one of bemusement. She knew the look her eldest bore all too well herself.

Naruto was confused and the giggling of the two youngest confused him further.

"Don't you dare," Odessa hissed at her siblings.

Wrong thing to say.

"She has a crush on you," Gren revealed with a giggle.

"What?" said two of the three adults.

"Huh?" was Naruto's reaction.

"Oh, Naruto's so handsome, so chiselled. I wanna marry him," Illiya mimicked her sister.

"Wh-no I don't!" Odessa denied, face redder than before.

"That's what you wrote in your diary," Gren grinned at her.

"My dia-You read my diary?!"

"Gren!"

"Uh-oh."

"Bail!" Illiya ran the moment she said it, her brother following soon after.

Odessa said nothing, but the look of fury on her face said it all. If she caught them, they'd regret it.

"Oh, gods, give me strength. Excuse me," Salda excused herself to ensure her eldest didn't become a kinslayer.

Uriel laughed, "The joys of parenthood. I honestly can't tell what's harder: being sovereign or a father."

"Cuz either way you need to deal with people acting like children?"

"And then some," Uriel muttered and then sighed wearily as he spotted some nobles coming his way, "Duty calls, again."

It was instances like this that made Naruto question if being Hokage was worth it if they had to deal with this kind of stress. Naruto would go stir crazy if he wasn't on the move or training or fighting or doing something he believed was constructive.

"Well, you certainly handled yourself well, darling. And with two admirers amoung the nobility already?"

"Hahaha, laugh it up."

"Don't quickly dismiss it, Naruto. Being close to nobility such as the royal family could easily-"

"From Whitestone! Lord Sylas and Lady Briarwood!" the herald suddenly announced and whatever words Percy had remained stuck in his throat as the white-haired noble looked towards staircase, his gaze intent and sharp on a tall man with pale but with formidable muscular features, almost as tall as Naruto and a tanned-skinned woman by his side with regal bearing and sharp eyes.

"You alright, Percy?" Naruto asked after noticing the intense focus on his face.

"It's them," Percy gasp, breathing uneven.

"Them?" Vex inquired.

"Whitestone was my home before...before those fiends took it from me," Percy revealed.

"Took it?" Naruto inquired as the rest of the group, noticing Percy's state, converged on their location, "Should we tell Uriel?"

"We can't."

Naruto blinked in confusion, "Why?" it didn't make sense not to tell.

"I...I..." Percy couldn't form words.

"Percy, if it's too painful-" Pike began but Percy waved her off.

Vax, noticing the Briarwoods heading up the stairs, and followed by their valet carrying a heavy trunk, quickly formulated a plan, "Looks like they're staying the night. I could sneak in while they're away. Search for anything incriminating, maybe?"

"Sounds like a plan," Scanlan agreed. Out of all of them, Percy was the most calm and level-headed, and to see him like this honestly worried the bard, "But in case of trouble, we should have a safe word. Any suggestions?"

"Oh, how 'bout...chenga," was Grog's choice.

"...Okay...My safe word's mommy," the bard admitted.

Naruto couldn't help but ask, "Is that an actual word, or did you just make it up?"

"In my tribe, it means run for your life," Grog explained to their surprise.

"Apt, I suppose. And here I thought you were making up random shit," Scanlan admitted.

"Yeah, well, kinda used mostly by kids after they piss off someone stronger before they get a beatin'," Grog informed the gnome.

"Don't know how I should take that, but chenga it is then," Vax quickly separated from the group as the herald announced dinner was being served.

After making an excuse to Kima and Allura about Vax's absence - Naruto had to bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing at the humiliating excuse the bard provided - all of them were seated. Unfortunately, fate proved itself to be a fickle and unforgiving mistress as they found themselves seated directly across from the Briarwoods. Grog said it best when summing up how awkward it was going to be.

"Oooooh, shit's about to get real."

XxXxX
​

To say the dinner was awkward was a gross understatement. Percy wasn't exactly subtle and nothing the party did could get the De Rolo from taking his eyes off the Briarwoods. Vex tried her best to coax the white haired man out of his trance but nothing she did worked and it honestly worried them. Things only got even more tense when the Briarwoods began talking about Whitestone and its former rulers. Just when Percy looked ready to pop, Naruto, knowing the look well enough, acted.

"Ow!" Percy grunted and shot Naruto an annoyed and pained look.

The blond merely shrugged and watched as Uriel nodded to something the Briarwoods said but being distracted by Percy he had missed it.

"Everything alright?" Uriel asked.

"Fine," was Percy's curt reply.

"Ah, shit," Scanlan cursed lowly. It wasn't the kind of response you'd give an emperor.

Uriel's eyes narrowed slightly but nodded, "Ah, forgive me. My lords and ladies, may I introduce Vox Machina, Protectors of the Realm."

"Ah, yes. The group with the elementian," Delilah was heard saying, her tone intrigued.

"Uh, we're here, too?" Grog said but the goliath was ignored.

"We've heard quite a bit about you. Quite rare for your kind to find themselves in these parts. I'm curious, how did you end up in Tal'Dorei?" Delilah asked innocently.

"I was on a training trip with my teacher and we got separated. There was an accident and somehow I ended up here," was the blond's honest reply.

"Oh, you poor dear. Stranded like so many before you," was Delilah's reply, "Fortunately for you, I might be able to help."

Naruto doubted that but feigned intrigue, "Help?"

"Indeed. Before Sylas and I came to Tal'Dorei I was the Archmage of Antiquity of the Dwendalian Empire of Wildemount. My specialty was dealing with objects and artifacts from different planes and time periods such as the Age of Arcanum. I don't understand the language, but I have a few things back in Whitestone I believe are written in elementian. They might help you get back home," said the spider to the fly.

"That's, uh, very generous of you," said Naruto. What else could he say? Whether it was true, or not remained the question.

"Hold up. You're a former Archmage of the Dwendalian Empire?" Kima was stunned; she honestly believed the woman was merely a noble.

"It was ages ago. I left my post some time after Sylas became ill. I'm certain you heard of the epidemic that Wildmounte suffered from nearly a decade ago?"

Uriel frowned but nodded, "I do. Hundreds were said to have died daily. The frigid woe, correct?"

Delilah gave a stiff nod, "Officially, yes, and it was more than hundreds, though the Empire would never admit it. Unofficially, some of us believed the disease was manufactured to mimic the symptoms of the frigid woe when many established cures failed to work. Sylas barely pulled through and shortly before the epidemic ended, the Empire declared the disease was unleashed by the Kryn Dynasty, claiming none of their citizens had been affected."

"My comrades and I caught the illness while on the battlefield and we were sent home when we couldn't fight any longer because of it. I was the only survivor. You'll notice my pale complexion. While I recovered over time, my skin has become permanently pale as a side effect. Luckily, the few who did survive can't become infected, nor pass it on once the incubation period ends," Sylas informed the other dignitaries.

"You're not suggesting the Empire purposely unleashed a plague on its own people?" Allura asked, horrified by the thought.

"Purposely? No. The Empire wouldn't do that to its own people. But I do believe they had a role. Likely the disease was meant for the Kryn Dynasty. I'd been informed a new weapon was being developed to deal with the Empire's longest lasting foe but then all mention of it stopped when the epidemic occurred. My theory is something went wrong and the disease was accidentally unleashed on Wildmounte. I never learned if it was true or not, but after almost losing Sylas and so many friends, I just couldn't work for the Empire anymore," Delilah said, putting on a convincing show.

It only served to anger Percy, even more when many appeared to buy into it.

"I've heard of the bad blood between Empire and the Kryn Dynasty, but I never could have imagined-"

"With all due respect, Sovereign, I was a commander of the Empire's military, the Righteous Brand. My unit fought the Kryn on more than one occasion in border skirmishes. I've lost count of how many times I've had to inform families of a deceased loved one, and seen the cruelty the empire can impose on its enemies, even from my own men. As much as I'd like to believe otherwise, I can't deny the possibility of the Empire doing something like this if it means finally ending the conflict," Sylas interjected, his face stern, brokering no argument.

Uriel said nothing and merely nodded. Even here in Emon, Sylas' capabilities as a warrior were well-known.

"So, my dear? What do you say? Are you interested in visiting?"

"I-I-"

"No need to decide right now. As a protector of Emon, I'm sure you're quite busy. Just let us know, and we'll arrange something. As a show of good faith," Delilah pulled out a scroll and Naruto's eyes widened.

"Naruto?"

"This is a ninja scroll," Naruto muttered, snatching the scroll from Delilah's hands, uncaring how the act looked, "Where did you-"

"It was collecting dust and I had no use for it. I can't even get it to op-"

Slick!

"-en," the Briarwoods, as well as all present - Vox Machian included - couldn't believe their eyes as Naruto willingly cut his thumb and spread it onto the scroll. A few seconds later the worn out parchment glowed and unravelled before them.

"H-how?"

"Blood seal. Anyone not a master at seals or from a certain bloodline could try forever and still get nowhere with it. This scroll just so happens to have my clan's symbol on it, so, yay me!" Naruto was absolutely giddy.

"How fortunate," were Sylas' words, sharing a glance with his wife, who had a small imperceptible frown, "If you'll excuse us, Sovereign, I believe my wife and I will turn in for the night. We've travelled far, after all."

"Yes, quite, we'll discuss further in the morning," Uriel agreed.

As they left, Pike suddenly spoke, "Um, if you'll excuse us for a moment? Thanks."

"Ow! Pike, what are you-"

"Percy. Group talk. Now!" Pike hissed sternly, grabbing his arm and dragging him away to prevent any rebuke.

The group followed Pike to a secluded room and, after Pike kicked out a lord and what appeared to be his maid in a somewhat compromising state, she finally asked what they were all thinking, "Spill, De Rolo. What the hell was all that about?"

"Agreed. Percival, darling, what did we say about emotions?" Vex reminded him.

"You...you don't understand," Percy's voice was raw with emotion as he spoke, as though the weight of the world was crashing down on him.

"Then help us understand," Vex said gently, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Her words appeared to have worked and with a sigh Percy began explaining, "They...the Briarwoods murdered my family."

As the group listened to Percy's tale, the Briarwoods made their way to their rooms.

"We got what we came for," spoke Sylas, "Uriel was more pliant than even I anticipated."

"..."

"My dear? Are you alright?"

"It's the boy."

Sylas nodded, "Meeting the De Rolo after all this time was unexpected, true-"

"Not him. The one who opened the scroll," Delilah corrected.

"The elementian? What about him?"

"Oh, Sylas, you're lucky I love you, and talented where it counts," Delilah teased her husband.

"Never heard you complain once," he chuckled before his face shifted to that of a former commander, "But what about the boy?"

"Who gave us the scroll, Sylas?"

Sylas was silent and his eyes narrowed, "I see."

"De Rolo was unexpected. Circumstances have changed. The elementian, however, he's a wildcard, and I fear we're being used," was Delilah's concern.

"This is my fault, my dear. If I had been stronger-"

"I regret nothing, Sylas. I'd burn the world and everyone in if it meant keeping you with me and ensuring your safety. What I've learned in return was more than worth the cost," said the former archmage.

"But you don't like being played."

"No. No, I don't," Delilah was the one who did the manipulating, not the other way around. Those who tried ended up dead or worse if unlucky to truly draw out her ire.

When she learned of the elementian, all Delilah could think about was what he could bring to the table. Elementians were a unique resource and their unique innate power was very unknown except in certain circles. He could benefit them greatly. Alive was better but dead was acceptable, too. Delilah hadn't been lying when she said she had artifacts back in Whitestone of elementian origin, even if the reasons for trying to lure him there weren't of noble intent. What she didn't expect was her lure to end up being snatched away and possibly benefiting a potential foe. That the scroll turned out to be from his clan gave her all the more reason to believe they were being toyed with.

"Hmm?"

"Sylas?" Delilah inquired as they reached their rooms.

Her husband chuckled, "It seems we have a guest."

Delilah chuckled and put away her previous thoughts for later, "I could do with some entertainment."

Meanwhile, Percy had just finished recounting his tale, and the group honestly couldn't believe everything they heard. It was madness. Sheer utter madness.

"Fuck," Keyleth struggled to wrap her mind around everything she'd been told, "Percy, why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I've tried many times over the years. No one's ever believed me," his physical transformation, caused by their torture didn't help either, "After a while, I just stopped. If no one gave a damn, I'd deal with the matter myself no matter what."

"Wait! Vax is still up there!"

"Shit!" Naruto cursed himself for forgetting and placed his hand to his ear, "Vax?"

"Naruto? Kinda busy here."

"Get out of there! The Briarwoods-"

"Shh! Someone's coming," was heard before the sound was cut off.

"Vax? Vax!"

"What are you-"

"I think he's about to get caught," Naruto said, pointing the Earrings of Whisper Allura gave them.

"Shit."

"Finally, I get to smash things!"

"With what? They took our weapons," Keyleth reminded.

"Not all of them," Naruto patted his sword.

"Well, good for you, darling, but it doesn't do the rest of us any good," Vex wouldn't exactly call herself proficient in unarmed combat, "We need to get them back."

"My arms are weapons! And my feet and legs and-"

"We get it, buddies," Pike cut him off mid-boast. She herself could summon a mace through her Spiritual Weapon spell and Scanlan had his lute but that was about it. The rest of them were weaponless and while Keyleth could shapeshift and knew certain spells, said spells weren't exactly subtle or all that great useful in small narrow areas.

"You guys go, I'll keep these folks distracted. Try not to draw too much attention."

The group snorted and then groaned as they heard the bard sing a rendition called Pull My Beads of Love.

"Do I wanna know?" Naruto couldn't help but inquire.

"Wanna be scarred for life?" Pike asked.

"Let's go save Vax," the blond decided to change the subject.

Naruto believed he had enough mental scars, thank you very much!

"Uh, wat room's he in?" asked Grog.

The group blinked and when they realized they didn't know, they summed up their predicament in one word, "Shit."

Crack!

Crash!

Splash!

"Thank you, Lady Luck!" no way that wasn't the half-elf in trouble.

Oh, shit. The half-elf was in trouble, Naruto just realized.

"That came from the courtyard!" Naruto heard Vex declare. Which, if memory served, was at the front where the rest of them handed over their weapons.

"Get your weapons and catch up!" Naruto told them.

"Go! Help Vax!" Pike ordered and watched as he pumped chakra into his legs and took off while the rest of them spoke with the guard, "Give us our weapons back!"

"I'll need your ticket," the guard said with a sigh.

"...Are you serious?!"

"No ticket, no weap-"

"Oh, screw this. Grog!"

"On it! Come here, fuckstick!"

"Waah!" the guard yelped as the goliath grabbed him. A grunt and crash later and he was subdued in quick order, allowing the rest to gather their weapons.

Meanwhile Vax moaned as he lied in a pool of water slowly filling with his blood. Delilah and Sylas both loomed over him like predators looking down on an easy meal. Sylas moved towards Vax but the area was soon filled with a Globe of Darkness and enveloped all three and their vision. Sylas was stronger than the average vampire and while his transformation resulted in many gifts, seeing in magical darkness wasn't one of them compared to ordinary darkness.

"Sylas?!" the vampire warrior heard his wife call out.

"Fall back!" Sylas called out. Angered by the loss of an easy meal.

The two Briarwoods moved out of the magical darkness and Sylas readied himself as he saw Vox Machina making their way towards.

Fate had other plans.

"Hey!" Sylas looked behind him, a fanged grin as his gaze fell upon the called elementian.

Vax's blood was hardly unique. A snack to be tossed aside when done. But the elementian, the mere scent of him caused the former human to fixate on the once in a lifetime feast. Sylas lunged but found himself forced back and wincing in needle-like discomfort as the light from his meal's sword shone upon him. His skin lightly burned and he found himself unable to gaze at the light and found himself being pushed back.

Pain soon accompanied the discomfort as flesh parted as a result of sharp metal biting into his chest. Sylas had experienced such pain more than once in countless battles yet this was several times worse and for the first time in years he coughed up blood. Sylas swiped wildly but struck nothing and the pain increased as metal parted flesh once more, this time digging deeper into his flesh. The man roared in fury and pain as another wild swipe served to deeply cut a finger before he grunted and gasped as the weapon pierced deeply to the hilt in his rib.

"Raseng-"

"Ad Lapidē Non Moverē!" a voice declared.

Naruto found himself frozen in place by Delilah's Hold Person spell, his signature technique dissipating as he found himself unable to continue feeding it the necessary chakra. This time, he was unable to dodge the wild blow that ended in a loud thud and the buckle of stone as his back crashed into the castle's wall. Though injured, Sylas was still a dangerous foe and exceptionally strong.

"Naruto!" Pike called out.

"Sylas?"

Sylas tried to reassure his wife but couldn't stop himself from coughing up blood. Delilah's eyes widened but becoming consumed by utter loathing. Dark energy began to dance wildly around her and her husband as they landed Vox Machina's newest member.

"You!" just one word escaped her lips but the raw emotion that was used was enough to express how she felt.

"Delilah!"

A series of bangs echoed throughout the courtyard from Percy's pepperbox but Delilah's magic shielded both of them from harm. Sylas made to move and grunted but stood tall and proud despite the damage done to his body. The act was impressive but it only served to make the blood inside him flow more freely and quickly.

"Sylas-"

"It's nothing," he grunted, his pride as a warrior and vampire not letting him admit defeat. Nodding towards the slowly recovering Naruto, Sylas told his wife, "Keep him distracted."

"With pleasure," was all the woman said.

Delilah's hands began to fill with potent, angry energy. The woman aimed a finger towards Naruto, sickly green energy coiling around the digit like a hungry snake before shooting out and striking the blond. Naruto gasped and grunted as he was struck, his nerves felt like they were on fire but he stood all the same. The necromancy was surprised. Elementians were said to be stronger than ordinary humans, but to shrug off the Finger of Death, especially when performed by an accomplished spellcaster such as herself, wasn't an easy task. Delilah readied another spell but a volley of arrows Vex loosed her way forced the woman to change focus.

"Step off, bitch," Vex loosed another arrow but Delilah was ready and easily blocked it.

"Raaahh!" Grog bellowed and swung wildly at the couple but his efforts weren't rewarded. Delilah teleported away, and Sylas easily dodged the goliath's hungry axe with expert ease despite his wounds.

"Vax! Hang on, buddy," Pike quickly knelt before the heavily injured half-elf and began healing him while the rest of the group fought the two nobles.

But it wasn't going well. Keyleth's attempt to send a swarm of angry buzzing bugs at her was also easily dealt with, with Delilah sending said spell back towards her and Vex. Grog was growing ever frustrated at his inability to land a blow on the lord and the mockery that was sent his way.

"These are the Protectors of the Realm?" Sylas declared with a laugh.

It only served to anger the short-fused goliath even more but Sylas countered a missed blow with a harsh punch of his own. Grog was sent reeling and blood spurted from his nose but he remained standing. Percy, having used Grog's large from stay out of Sylas' line of vision, took this opportunity to shoot the man and causing him to grunt.

Sylas merely smirked as the sizeable wound began to close up, but the man frowned when he realized that it was doing so slowly compared to its usual speed. It was then that he noticed that the wounds inflicted by the elementian's blade weren't healing at all.

"Oh, shit. That ain't good," Pike was heard commenting behind the two men.

"Guys! He's a vampire!" Naruto declared, his head no longer rattled by the blow Sylas landed.

"What?!" Percy exclaimed, "How-"

"Less wondering, more killing!" Pike shouted, focusing even more on healing Vax, "Please don't turn on me."

"W-wouldn't...dream of it," Vax said with a chuckled grunt.

"Vex! Any idea how to fuckin' deal with this asshole?" Grog grunted and winced from the wounds Sylas inflicted upon him with his newly summoned sword; each cut seemed to sap him of his strength.

"It's a bloody vampire, you idiot! Use water or sunlight!" Vex barked while she fought the vampire's wife.

"It's night!" Grog retorted but grinned when his axe began to glow white curtesy of Pike, "Pike, yer da best!"

"Just end the prick!"

"No problem!" Grog grinned, his swings more confident and the saw the look of discomfort in the vampire's eyes as he landed a shallow cut that didn't heal, "Oh, dat hurt, huh?"

Pike smiled as she concentrated on empowering Grog's weapon but the gnome was too fixated on her friend and the vampire to notice Delilah unleashing a whirling purple vortex of thorny darkness upon her. Pike was struck and sent flying, the air leaving her body, her connection to the Everlight severed and the power on Grog's axe waning until it too ended and enabled Sylas to get the upper hand once again.

"Uh, Pike? Little help!" Grog asked as he struggled against Sylas once more, "Plan B: Balltag time!"

Grog whirled away from a stab and struck Sylas square in the nethers with a backhanded fist. The Goliath's triumphant grin barely lasted a second as Sylas's look contorted into one of murderous anger, "Uh-oh."

Grog couldn't put up a quick enough defence and a powerful uppercut to the chin sent him halfway across the pool of shallow pool of water with a her as the greater threat, Sylas appeared before the downed Pike sword raised to finish off the gnome, "Gods can't save you now."

"No, no, no, no, no! Pike!"

Sylas was about to bring down his sword but grunted as a sharp painful object dug deep into his back as someone slammed into him.

"Still here, dattebayo!" Naruto reminded the vampire.

The blond's form became a blur as he stabbed and slashed at Sylas' back with his sword. Sylas growled and gritted his teeth before he swung backwards with a powerful backhand but Naruto vanished in an explosion of speed and Sylas struck nothing but dead space. The vampire nearly stumbled from being off-balanced and growled as the pain from his wounds flared up.

Naruto suddenly reappeared and slashed at him with frightening speed; the vampire found himself struggling to keep up, even with his decades of experience and having speed and reflexes well beyond that of a normal vampire. The blinding light of Naruto's weapon didn't help things either. Delilah, however, was prepared and with a gesture, Naruto and Sylas found themselves in a field of antimagic. Delilah had a triumphant and pleased look on her face as the blond's speed want back to normal. While fields of antimagic made magical items mundane and it would affect both of them, Sylas would still have the upper hand with superior strength.

"Gah!"

Or so she had believed.

Delilah looked on, confused as elementian became enveloped in dark crimson energy. His appearance taking on a feral look, his hands becoming claws and his whisker marks thickening. The energy wrapped around the sword until it lengthened and coalesced into a semi-solid blade akin to a longsword. His blows became wilder and faster and Sylas struggled to keep up once again until it stabbed deep into his shoulder. Sylas grunted but retaliated by skewering Naruto in the gut. Vox Machina held horrified looks as Delilah and Sylas relished in their apparent victory.

Until Naruto used his free hand to tightly grab Sylas' sword arm, and with the other on his own weapon slowly began to pull down it down on Sylas' undead body. The vampire growled and snarled as his foe's sword caused blood to flow even more freely as it carved his flesh like a knife would a block of cheese. The blond had nasty wicked grin as this was being done and to anyone else look this wasn't a fight between two men.

It was between two monsters.

Sylas snarled and opened his mouth, head lunging forward and fangs finding their mark. Flesh gave way and Sylas began drinking to replenish the blood he lost. The taste was unlike anything he had ever tasted.

But not in a good way.

The vampire recoiled and spat the blood from his mouth as though it were poison. But the damage was done. The veins around his mouth darkened along with those of his eyes. Sylas had never tasted anything so vile in all his years, alive and undead.

"My turn!"

Naruto's mouth found Sylas throat, and he clamped down hard on the vampire's neck. The taste of rot and decay filled his mouth as the blood of countless unknown victims began to flow into it but Naruto's dark-filled mind was so focused on killing Sylas that it made him ignore the unsavoury liquid. Planting his foot on Sylas' chest Naruto began to pull back and a horrible, wet, tearing sound was heard until finally a shout of agony filled the courtyard.

"GAAAAAHHHH!"

"SYLAS!" screamed his wife, a horrified and concerned look on her regal face.

The scene she had witnessed along with Vox Machina would be one none would soon forget. Naruto chuckled malevolently, a chunk of flesh from the side of Sylas' throat dangling and oozing from his fang, taunting the vampire for his inability to do the same. All the while, the sword in his hand continued to carve down Sylas' wounded, undead flesh. Victory seemed so certain.

But then Delilah ended her spell.

Naruto blinked, his feral appearance vanishing instantly like dust in the wind. The blond was confused before his face contorted to one of disgust as a horrible taste danced on his poor tongue. He nearly retched as he spat out the flesh and his vision swam as Sylas wrenched his sword from his stomach before he launched the blond with a devastating uppercut far away from him.

Naruto landed with a flip but a sudden wave of intense lethargy overcame him and he fell to a knee. Sylas, his wounds knitting themselves shut like they never existed, took it as an opportunity to end the one that caused him so much trouble. The sword came down just as a thick wall of thorns twenty feet high rose from the earth in between them to cut it off. The sword dug deep but came nowhere close to harming its target.

Sylas growled in annoyance. He had seen combat enough to know this was the druid's doing but the vampire knew the tremors caused by the spell would cause many to come rushing towards their location. Sylas and Delilah both nodded at one another. It was time to leave.

"Desmond!" as if conjured by magic, the Briarwoods' coachman arrived.

"Lady Briarwood! I did as you asked. Your belongings-Waah!"

"I'll drive, thank you," Sylas told their discarded servant. The vampire quickly took hold of the reins and once Delilah was on, Sylas issued a harsh 'hiyaa!' that spurred the carriage horses into action.

"Stop them!"

Sylas smirked but coughed blood as the last of the De Rolo males shouted at them. A series of miniature explosions echoed in the courtyard but none of Percy's bullets came close to striking them.

"Come visit us, Percival. You're always welcome back home!"

"No!" Percy shouted but his weapon no longer had anything left to fire. By the time he reloaded, the Briarwoods were well out of range and his anger only magnified from there, "I had them. I had them! And you let them slip away!"

The group watched on in concern, doubly so after the accusation. None of them had ever seen Percy this angry before and it wasn't the usual anger either. This was something else. Something rawer. Their concern only intensified as Percy spotted the downed Desmond with a look unlike anything they'd ever seen in his eyes.

"You."

The Briarwood's coachman tried getting up but a well-placed kick from Percy made him fall on his back. Dark smoke rose from the De Rolo as he began demanding answers, a dark mask with a bird's beak placed on his face only served to heighten the situation. But despite his demands such as why the Briarwoods came to Emon when they've never left Whitestone since they took over, the enraged Percy received only useless responses.

They were the wrong thing to say.

Bang!

Desmond cried out as three of his fingers were blown off by Percy's weapon, a sizeable hole in he hand so wide the remaining digits were literally holding on by a thread of muscle and tissue. Pike, Keyleth, Vax and Vex watched with horrified looks. The poor ignorant man tried to crawl away to safety but it was of no use. Percy levelled his weapon and prepared to end his life.

"Stop right there! Guards! Arrest Vox Machina," came the voice of Uriel

"Naruto!" was Allura's cry as she teleported to the down blond with a sizeable hole in his stomach.

"Hey, neechan," Naruto groaned.

"Don't speak. I need a potion!"

"Belay that order! Arrest him as well!" Uriel ordered, pointing at Naruto.

"Sovereign, he needs medical attention!" Allura countered but the guards made their way towards them regardless.

Countless guards came from the castle and surrounded the group as well. Ignorant of the situation, a cream-covered Scanlan proudly walked out into the courtyard, "Woo! I was on fire in there! Oh, man, they loved me!"

The gnome's boasting didn't last long and the moment he saw his friends on their knees and surrounded by guards, Scanlan summed everything up in one word, "Fuck."

"I'm sorry for this," Allura whispered to Naruto and with a quick flick of her hand while the guards were distracted by the gnome, she enacted her plan, "Sovereign, my ward's wound was caused by a thorn."

"What?"

"What?!" Keyleth couldn't believe it, "I didn't-"

"Shush," Vax silenced her.

"What are you implying, Allura?" Uriel demanded of his Master of Arcana.

"I believe Naruto saw Vox Machina attacking the Briarwoods and he tried to stop them," Allura quickly explained, showing the wound and the large blood-covered vine adorned with nasty looking thorns.

"I see," Uriel's face was passive but there was a subtle shift, "Very well. Take him to the healers. As for the rest of them, throw them in irons and take them to the Black Bastille!"

"What did I do? I just got here?!" Scanlan reminded but it fell on deaf ears as he was hauled up by two guards, "Okay, normally two men grabbing me-"

Alura did them all a favor and silenced the gnome before he said anything that would make matters worse. The Black Bastille wasn't an ordinary prison. It was famed in Tal'Dorei for holding the worst of the worst, a place where light didn't shine unless the guards allowed it. The prison was fortified by magic and its halls were said to be patrolled by both guards and vicious creatures under Emon's employ.

Escape was impossible. And those who tried or caught even thinking or planning about it were left a drooling mess for the rest of their days to serve as a warning. Or so the rumours went, Vax recalled.

"Sire, it's been a rather long evening. Tend to the other guests while I see the rest of them are properly punished. Especially the gnome."

Scanlan's face contorted and his mouth moved but it only served to anger him further when nothing came out.

"See that you do," Uriel ordered as he left to ensure the remainder of the night didn't become a total loss.

"Lady Allura-"

"Silence!"

Vex's voice snapped shut from the vitriol that was Allura's words, "I don't want to hear another word from either one of you. Until Naruto is healed, you lot will be confined to your keep under house arrest. Kima! Take a garrison and ensure Vox Machina arrives at their keep. They're to stay there until I say otherwise. If any of them try anything, make certain they won't try it again."

"Got it. On your feet!"

"But we-"

"No talking!" Kima barked.

Vox Machina was hauled to their feet, protesting all the way as they were dragged to their keep while Allura vanished along with Naruto's downed form.

XxXxX
​

Sylas grunted as the carriage jolted from a combination or uneven terrain, roots and rocks. Ordinarily it wouldn't bother him in the least, but the wounds he had made such moments very uncomfortable. His wounds weren't healing like they should, and despite closing up the wounds from whatever the energy the elementian conjured continued to throb and ached something fierce.

Ignorant of her husband's current predicament, Delilah frantically searched and tossed everything from her suitcase to the floor. In the end, her suitcase and its compartments, hidden and unhidden, gave way to an inconceivable truth.

Her grimoire was gone.

"Sylas stop!" Delilah called out.

The carriage continued to roll.

"Sylas!" she repeated, more loudly this time.

Once more the carriage continued onwards. Delilah made her way to the carriage window and opened it but to her shock, Sylas wasn't in the driver's seat.

"Sylas?" Delilah was confused and her eyes widened. Looking to the back of the carriage, her eyes turned to worry, "Sylas!"

Delilah didn't hesitate. Her voice sang with power and the horses stopped along with the carriage as she teleported to her do to reach her fallen husband. He was face down in the dirt and tears began to form as an unpleasant memory reared its head in her mind. It was the most unpleasant and haunting one of all: the day she had lost him.

"No. No, no, no, don't you dare-"

A groan escaped from Sylas' lips and his eyes began to open, "My love?" he asked.

Delilah cradled her husband's head in her lap, tears turning to joy, uncaring as blood seeped onto her dress, "What happened?"

With a grunt of effort, Sylas rose to a knee, "My wounds aren't healing as they should. I haven't felt like this since I was first turned."

"How's that possible?"

"The elementian. His sword. That energy of his. It isn't ordinary. It was like looking at the sun."

Delilah cursed. Few weapons could truly harm Sylas like this ever since he became a vampire. Sylas had been a powerful warrior even before the ritual Vecna blessed her with to bring him back, and he had only gotten stronger since his transformation into a vampire. But powerful as vampires were they weren't without weakness. Holy or sacred items could greatly harm them and their undead state left them even more vulnerable to such things compared to other beings.

"It must have been a holy blade," she mused with a curse. Such blades could render the healing factor of a vampire inert.

"Maybe. Hrr," Sylas grunted as his wife helped him stay still, "But his blood, Delilah. His blood. It was...wrong. Vile beyond words."

Delilah filed that for later. Few things existed that prevented a vampire from disliking the taste of blood but right now her focus was on healing her husband. She began chanting an eldritch tongue, and ominous energy appeared on her hands before it flowed to the wounds that littered her husband's body. Sweat and discomfort racked her being as the spell's effects took hold.

"Don't!"

"You're hurt. I can handle it," Delilah told her husband even as sweat poured down her face more readily.

As a vampire, ordinary healing spells were useless on Sylas. The Sanguine Syphon spell was unique to her and was designed just in case Sylas was injured and his regeneration stunted, but it required the lifeforce of an individual. Had Desmond been around, Delilah would have used his instead but with their coachman left behind and no other creature nearby except for their horses, Delilah didn't mind. The ill effects of the spell were well worth it and temporary anyway after a good night's rest.

She wouldn't lose Sylas again. Couldn't lose him. But even then, it took considerable energy as the wound resisted the spell's effects before it finally relented and began to knit and then finally close.

"My love?"

"I'm fine, Sylas," Delilah reassured him. Tired, yes, but otherwise fine, "How are you?"

"Sore, but the pain is fading as are my wounds," Sylas reassured his wife, gazing at her with the deepest of devotion.

Delilah did the same but then her mind snapped back to the problem at hand, "They have my book. It contains details of our-"

"A minor inconvenience, my love. It will avail them of nothing. Besides, it's not like we don't have the means to of retrieving it, don't we?" Sylas soothed her and Delilah realized he was right.

Not far from their location was a cemetery she could put to good use.

(Greyskull Keep, Sometime Later)
​

"This is bullshit!" Vax shouted.

"We haven't done anything wrong?" Vex added.

"Yeah, yeah. Never heard that before," a guard said with a roll of the eyes.

"Count yourselves lucky you ain't in the Bastille," said another.

"Oh, come on! Not my instrument!"

"The more you resist, the longer this will take," spoke Captain Jarett, a dark skinned man nearly six feet tall and distinctive sideburns.

"It's not a weapon, I just wanna serenade the group," Scanlan explained.

"We're doing them a favour then," Kima spoke, shuddering from the memory that was Scanlan's banquet performance.

"They loved me!"

"Keep talking, and I'll seal it somewhere nice and tight," Kima threatened.

"Believe me, that's not a threat to him," Vax smirked as Kima was disgusted.

"Where's Naruto?" Keyleth asked, more concerned about their newest member.

"Safe and being looked after, no thanks to you assholes," Kima glared at the druid in particular when she spoke, making Keyleth flinch.

"I didn't-"

"Good work. Lady Kima, we've completed our sweep. All belongings have been confiscated, and all egresses are currently under watch," spoke Jarett, having been informed by another.

"Good. Get comfortable. You're not going anywhere anytime soon until told otherwise. No guests. No maids. Nadda."

"How are we supposed to eat? You took our utensils!" never mind the fact that they couldn't cook worth shit.

"Use your codpiece," was Kima's simple reply to the gnome.

"Dat don't sound appetizing," Grog chimed.

"Lady Kima," Kima glanced at Jarett and the human bent down and whispered something in her ear that made her nod.

"Well, good news, dipshits. You've got a visitor," Kima neglected to say more but a figure entered the foyer they instantly recognized.

"Lady Allura. Where's Naruto?"

"Is he okay?"

"If you call having a hole in his stomach as wide as a fist, then he's positively marvellous," Allura's retort only served to make Keyleth shrink in on herself even more, "Naruto is alive and recuperating, thank goodness for small mercies. I'll expect a full recovery by morning."

"Thank the Everlight," Pike sighed in relief, but saying those words only reminded her of her present predicament.

"Quite. Now then. You're dismissed. I need a word with them," Allura informed the guards.

"Lady Allura?" Jarett didn't understand.

"Do as she says, Jarett," Kima told him, "Cover the exits."

The captain straightened but otherwise did as told along with the rest of them. Once the guards left, Allura sighed.

"Finally."

Poof!

"Yo."

"Naruto?!"

Kima sighed, "I knew it. Allura's gonna kill you, ya know?"

"Maybe, but I'm not exactly known for standing still."

"No, you're known for big wittle baby that's scared of infirmaries," Kima snarked, "Should you be even up?"

Naruto opened his clothes to show off his healed stomach. It was still quite red, but the hole from Sylas' sword was gone.

Kima deadpanned, "Was that really necessary? Especially with him?" pointing at the leering Scanlan.

"Oh, don't mind me."

Naruto realized Kima had a point and closed the robe, to Scanlan's displeasure, before he looked at the group, "Alura-neechan's pissed, given what's happened."

"She'll be even more piss when she finds you outta bed."

"They're innocent, Kima," Naruto told the paladin, forgoing his usual honorific, "Besides, Allura-neechan's busy doing damage control with Uriel, she'll be too busy to realize I'm gone. By then it'll be too late."

"Too late? Oh, no! You guys aren't going anywhere until Sovereign Uriel's concluded his inq-"

"Uriel's been charmed," Naruto said, cutting her off.

Kima was quiet as she looked at Naruto and the room felt oddly tense, like waiting to see if you'd be found guilty of treason or free to go, "You're serious, aren't you?"

"If anyone can recognize the look it's me," Naruto answered with conviction.

Kima frowned but nodded all the same, "Fucking shit. If the Sovereign of Emon is under Sylas Briarwood's spell-"

"He's a vampire."

The halfing's eyes widened further, "A vampire? You're sure?"

"You think I did this myself?" Vax gestured towards the two holes on his neck, "Bloody prick left me with the worst hangover ever. Wait, I'm turning one, am I?"

Vex gestured towards the window and Vax felt really stupid when he saw his reflection, "Right, different topic, how'd you know he was a vampire? Last I recall I was passed on in my own blood before I could say anything."

"I didn't. This did," Naruto padded the shortsword by his side, "Bastard and his wife flinched and looked very uncomfortable when it shinned its light on them, too. She might be one, too. Or she's just not a very good person."

"And the sword knows this, how?" Scanlan inquired.

"My sword sheds a light that undead and anyone with dark intentions find very uncomfortable. If it's unsheathed, it can also tell me what they are if I'm close enough," not with words but through emotions and brief image flashes that give him an idea of what he was dealing with.

"Damn it," Kima cursed, "If that's the case, then it couldn't have come at a worse time. Aside from its strategic value, Whitestone is symbolic to the faith of the Dawnfather. If the Briarwoods are vampires and Whitestone is under their control, it would explain quite a few concerns the council's never gotten answers for."

"Like the missing messengers?" Keyleth chimed, recalling the conversation between the Sovereign and the Briarwoods.

"Among other things. Anyone of you know anything else about them?"

"Just ask Percy. He was there when they took over," Vex told Allura and Percy gritted his teeth hard enough that they might as well shatter.

"Can't you, I dunno, send an army? Get 'em to deal the hot undead fucks?" Scanlan stated what should be obvious.

Kima dashed it, "The Council of Tal'Dorei is still without a general, and only Sovereign Uriel has the power to appoint one and only the General of Tal'Dorei or the Sovereign has the authority to do what you're asking. With the Sovereign under Sylas' influence, it's unlikely to happen."

"Give 'im a smack on the head. Snap 'im out of it," Grog suggested as though it were obvious.

"It doesn't work like that," Kima shook her head, unable to believe she heard such a suggestion, "And we are talking about the Sovereign, you big dumb fuck. You can't just decide 'Oh, hey, Sovereign, let me smack you to bring you back down to Exandria' like a common moron. I've dealt with vampires before and their charms, especially from powerful ones, aren't easy to break. And make no mistake, Sylas Briarwood was a highly capable and formidable warrior lord of well-renown even in Emon when he and his wife lived in Wildemount. If he's a vampire now, then he's only gotten even stronger."

"Then what do you suggest? We stand around doing nothing like a bunch of dumb assholes?" Vax quipped.

"Wait a minute! Can't Pike just end the effects?" Keyleth inquired inquisitively.

Kima blinked, "I mean, it could work. How 'bout it, Trickfoot?"

"..."

"Uh, Pike?"

"..."

"You okay, Pikey?"

"Huh? What? Oh, yeah, sure, whatever he said," Pike nodded.

"Uh, what?" Naruto looked at the group but they were just as clueless as he was.

"Well, that was helpful," Kima deadpanned, "Whatever, I know a few people who can get it done. You comin'?" Kima asked Naruto.

"I'll stay," he told her.

Kima shrugged before taking her leave, "Your funeral. In the meantime, park yer asses here and give me a couple of hours to sort things out. If I'm not back then, hah, then do what you do best."

With her piece said, Kima left the keep, the great door that granted access was opened and then closed with a loud thud to ensure none of them left.

"What we do best?" Scanlan scoffed, "What best?"

"That's Kima-oneechan's way of saying we should bust outta here," Naruto grinned.

"Oh, well, thank you, Naruto!"

"Thank you, Naruto? What's he got to do with this?" Grog asked.

"Pretty sure that without him here, she wouldn't have encouraged us to break out," Keyleth explained.

"Oh!...Nope, still confused," Grog frowned.

"You guys ever consider getting him a Headband of Intellect? I wore one once, and holy crap. Pretty sure I had become as smart as Sakura or Tsunade-baachan," Naruto whispered.

"I have absolutely no idea who those two are, but the thought crossed our minds," or, his at least, Percy admitted, "But I doubt he'd wear it."

"Because it looks like a tiara?" Naruto guessed. Given the one he previously wore, Naruto wasn't all that keen on giving the wrong impression.

"That too. Do you honestly see Grog of all people wearing such a thing?" Percy confirmed and asked.

"Yeah, good point. Would be funny to see him wear one, though," Naruto admitted. Being the newest member, Naruto didn't know the group all that well - didn't help that they had baggage they weren't willing to unload - but being Grog's constant sparring partner did provide him insight on the goliath's personality.

"Yes, well, glad that's all sorted out. Nothing more to do than wait, I suppose," Vex stated but then her gaze landed on the two humans, "Plenty of time for you to explain what the fuck happened in the courtyard."

"...Fuck," Naruto had forgotten about that.

"What's this now?" an ignorant Scanlan, having been busy entertaining the guests at the time, asked.

Naruto sighed, "It's a unique ability I have. It gives me a good power boost but it has some drawbacks."

"I'll say. You torn out Sylas' neck with your teeth," Vax reminded.

"And that's different from Grog doing that, how?" Naruto recalled some of the goliath's stories.

Vax went to retort but fell short, "Fair point."

"That aura was dark," Keyleth said with a shudder, "So dark."

Naruto's look turned to one of understanding, "Blame Delilah for that. I usually have control over it, and if I have my sword I'm pretty good at keeping the worst in check. But when she used whatever that spell was, it was like something flipped almost instantly."

"Your sword stopped working?" Scanlan asked and Naruto nodded, "Sounds like it was a Field of Antimagic. Pretty much anything magical that enters it gets turned off or their effects reduced."

The gnome's declaration quickly reminded the group that, despite his personality, he was well-informed on several subjects.

"I guess. I don't like using it cause even with training and my sword, I could still put others around me at risk. What you saw was a rare glimpse of what happens when I almost go over the deep end."

"Almost?"

"For the love of fuck. Are you telling us it can get worse than that?"

"Yeah. And, before you ask, you don't wanna know, believe me," Naruto's tone and facial expression brokered no argument.

"We kind of do, darling. If this power of yours-"

"I didn't ask for this power, alright. I was on a training trip where I was supposed to learn how to control it, but ended up stuck here instead," Naruto cut her off, frustrated, "You think I want this? The price of this power isn't worth it. If I'm not careful, if I let my emotions get the better of me, or enter certain places, I risk losing control. I put myself and others at risk. I only tap into it if I don't have a choice. I wasn't the best ninja. I winged it most of the time and my training trip was to get me up to par so I could save my friend. I was supposed to learn some new skills and now I'm stuck here without any means of doing any of that!"

Naruto huffed, tears threatening to pour down his eyes and the looks he got were ranged, "Don't look at me like that."

"I get it," Keyleth spoke, "Really, I, I get it. I miss my home, too. Ever since I started my Aramenté, all I could think of is everyone back home. I didn't even want to do it. I haven't even gone to even one of the ashari tribes. Pretty sure they wouldn't be proud of me. All I can think of is home. But being here with you guys? Seeing everything? It makes me feel, I dunno, like I've got another home?"

"Yes, well, that's all well and good, Keyleth, but it's not the same. You can go back home but Vax and I can't. Our home's gone, Percy's was taken from him, and Naruto has no way of knowing how to get back," Vex pointed out the ashari's flawed logic.

"Then we find a way," Grog said, face hard as stone, "Don't matter how long it takes, we find a way."

"What you're asking for is pretty much impossible, Grog. Pike said it herself: no elementian who found themselves here ever found a way back."

"Impossible's only dat when you call it quits, right?"

"He's right. It might be a long shot, but we still have a shot, right?"

Vex sighed and shook her head but even she couldn't deny the possibility, "It's possible, however small a chance."

"Right, cool. First we go get Percy's home back and then we help find clues on getting his tight ass back to his. Matter settled," Scanlan proposed.

Naruto laughed but he felt better, "I'll let that one pass, Scanlan. Thanks, guys."

"You may not have been with is long, but you're one of us, kid."

"Also, I call dibs on your stuff if you do leave," Vex added with a grin.

"What! Why?"

"What? He won't need it."

"Come on, Vex. But if you do, can I have your sword?"

Naruto's sword in question shinned brightly and audible whirring and humming came from it.

"Woah! Language!" Naruto couldn't believe it.

"What? What's it saying?"

"Except for it saying it dares you to put your diseased, riddled hands on it and see what happens, you don't wanna know the rest," Naruto elaborated.

"Pft. I've heard worse," Scanlan took it in stride but then realized something, "Wait, did I just get rejected by a sword?"

"Striking out with objects. There's a new one. Rather sad, really," Vax mocked playfully, his comment earning him the bird from the gnome, "Right, nothing left to do but wait, I suppose. Scanlan, think you can uncover anything from this thing? Looked rather important."

"Ha! Leave it to me," Scanlan boasted with a confident grin.

(Two Hours Later)
​

"Okay, I've got nothing," Scanlan was forced to admit.

"So much for that. Can you even make out anything?"

"Do you know how hard it is to translate something like this? Besides, Delilah's handwriting is like the worst, so that ain't helpin'."

"Uh-uh, sure," Vax's face told the gnome he didn't believe it.

"Hey, I can make out a few things: pyramid, spirits of the dead, and this I think says, uh, fuck you Vax," Scanlan ended with the bird.

"Lovely. Care to translate this?" Vax gave the gnome the bird in return.

"Oh, oh, yeah! You want some of this?"

"I'm game if you-"

"Can you two stop!" Pike declared suddenly.

Both men did but only because it was the first thing Pike said to them in almost two hours. The group didn't say anything but it was evident something was bothering Pike. All the cleric did was look at her cracked holy symbol and lowly mutter over and over again in the corner. Even Grog, the closest one of them to Pike, couldn't get her out of her funk. With none of them being religious like their cleric, their ability to help or understand what she was going through amounted to nothing.

Vex, however, wasn't focused on that. The tale of Percy's family, their betrayal, the deaths of his family, the torture lit a fire in her as well as several others of the group. The problem was that the Briarwoods knew Percy was alive and that meant they were running on borrowed time. The only saving grace was that it took days by horse to arrive at Whitestone from Emon, and from what Vex saw in the distance, even at night, it looked like the weather wasn't going to be cooperative for their adversaries in the coming days.

"Anyway, this book is nuts, I mean look at it. It's diagrams, the dead bodies, wolves-"

"Why are you even bothering with that book, anyway? Once Lady Kima returns, we'll be cleared of all charges and head to Whitestone with an army at our backs," Vex reminded.

"It's been two hours," a skeptical Scanlan reminded her.

"I'm sure it's just taking a bit longer than anticipated," Keyleth chimed, her voice tinged with hope, "Lady Kima could be making her way towards us as we speak."

"Not happening," came a voice from beyond the doors.

"Of course not," Scanlan should have seen it coming. The Changebringer was a mercurial goddess.

"What? Why the fuck not?" Grog asked when their group's ninja entered the kitchen.

"Just spoke with Kima-oneechan," Naruto said, pointing at the Earring of Whisper, "whatever Sylas did to Uriel isn't your usual vampire charm. It's confirmed he was charmed but apparently it's got a tight grip on him."

"What?" Pike finally looked up, "That's impossible. Greater Restorations can end charms."

"I'm just the messenger. Kima-oneechan said that Uriel was in pain when they tried to remove it. Apparently, it's a nasty piece of work."

"Let me guess, the Sovereign had them thrown in chains?"

"Pretty much. Kima-oneechan and the council were lucky but Uriel's not letting anyone near him or his family without permission. The council's convinced we're innocent but Uriel's still in charge and he's not letting us go anytime soon."

"You mean us. You're off the hook," Percy reminded the elementian.

But, unfortunately, Naruto shook his head and gave even more bad news, "Not anymore. Uriel learned of my escape and now we're all in the same boat. He's sent guards out to look for me. As if that will do 'em any good. In other words, folks, we're on our own and need to bust out," a round of groans escaped the group's lips when he finished.

"So, to be clear, we gotta bust ourselves out, without our stuff. We got no support. We're gonna end up fugitives of Tal'Dorei, and we're going up against an undead hottie and his sexy as hell wife. Anything else we need to worry about?"

"WAAAAHHHH!" came the cries from outside.

"Oh, that's not good," Scanlan whimpered.

The candles of the keep suddenly began to flicker in and out and a cold, unnatural chill began to fill it to the point they could see their own breath.

"And that's even worse!" Scanlan cried out.

Wham!

"Someone's inside!"

Percy was on his feet and out of the kitchen, followed by the rest of them to see Jarett and two of his men looking worse for wear.

"What did you-Elementian?!" Jarett's voice turned hard upon seeing him, "So that's your plan. Kill my men so you can free your friends and escape?"

"Hey, I've been in here the entire time," Naruto resented the man's accusation, "What's happening?"

"As if you don't know," Jarett and his men began to move on them with weapons drawn. Fortunately, it didn't come to blows but the candles went out and the cold oppressive air began to fill the hall as it did the kitchen.

"Will someone explain what the hell's going on?" Pike demanded just as the candles' fire finally went out.

All eleven of them were left in barely visible darkness. To those with enhanced eyesight it was clear as day, but not all of them were lucky to have the gift.

"Who-who turned out the lights?" a shivering Scanlan looked around to find the source.

"I'd say it was them. Run!" Vax shouted as a group of wraiths crouched on the rafters suddenly lunged at them.

"Oh, fuck off!" Naruto was tired of this shit for one night.

Drawing his sword, as three wraiths shrieked loudly as the weapon' light lit up the hall and caused their form to smoke. The one unfortunate enough to be closest to Naruto had its throat cut, the limb sizzling from the wound before he stabbed down hard. The others weren't as lucky. One of Jarett's men, a female tiefling guard that was closest to Naruto, managed to evade death, if only just as the light hampered it's ability to land a fatal blow. Black ichor still flowed from her eyes and mouth but she was alive. Her colleague wasn't so lucky.

A wraith dragged the gasping human guard up the wall, his body twitching violently, his face one of horror and agony that began shrivelling up like a dried up grape. Ichor poured from his face like blood before he was finally dropped unceremoniously, dead as a door nail. But from his corpse rose a faintly luminous and translucent figure in the shape of the deceased. Its face filled with hate and missing its armor and the littered with injuries.

"Shit! A specter," Scanlan, close to shitting himself, declared.

So distracted was the gnome and too far from the sword's light that one of the wraiths tackled him from the shadows. The book in his hands dropping to the floor, the wraith shrieking and tossing Scanlan aside.

"They're after the book!" Vex declared, lunging for it before the wraith could reach the tome.

In hindsight, Vex concluded that might not have been her wisest decision as the wraiths began approaching her, "Pike!"

"I-I'm trying!" Pike focused and prayed as hard and with all her being, clutching the symbol of her goddess like a lifeline. But not a flicker, a shimmer, or even a glimmer of light appeared, "Everlight. Please!"

"Pike!" Vax ducked under a wraith's wild swipe. The rogue smacked a nearby table, a hidden compartment opening to reveal an hidden dagger. But as he rose back up, more specters began appearing out of the walls, "Fuck me."

"Just how many men did you lose?" Naruto asked, finally finishing off the wraith.

"All of them!" Jarett answered and Naruto cursed.

If these things rose from corpses killed by wraiths then they were outnumbered.

"Scanlan!" Grog was heard shouting, the gnome was down after a wraith attack.

"Vex'ahlia!" Percy was heard shouting as well and glance at

"Form up!" Naruto ordered. Enough was enough, turning off the light of his sword.

"Are you insane?!" someone, Naruto didn't know who, demanded.

"On me!" Naruto said once more.

Many grunted but given they had no choice with Naruto having the only tool that seemed to ward them and harm them, they all did as they were told.

The undead shrieked and hissed like made beasts, more came from the walls as the two wraiths and eight specters began their approach.

"Naruto, whatever you've got planned, now would be good time to use it," and by the Dawnfather Percy hoped the blond had a plan.

Naruto said nothing and merely concentrated, his eyes focused on the approach undead.

"Oh, fuck this. Keyleth, think you can give us light?"

"I've never done that spell before!" the ashari druid revealed, "Pike?"

"I've got nothing. Fucking shit," the gnome cursed, Grog shielding her with his large from as he cradled Scanlan.

"We're dead. We're dead," the tiefling soldier muttered over and over as the undead finally pounced.

It would be their last act and Naruto finally put his plan into motion.

"In brightest day, in blackest night. No evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power... Lathander's Light!"

"Lathander's what?!"

A brilliant light burst forth from the sword enveloped everyone. The keep was lit up as though a hundred hearths were in use. The living were forced to close their eyes while the undead, who believed they had finally won, shrieked and wailed horrible excruciating sounds that echoed off every wall in Greyskull Keep. And at the center of it all was the out of place elementian.

"Now do me a favor. Stay the fuck dead!" Naruto declared and with a final burst of power from the sword were their foes vanquished, their remains ash and dush or simply gone as the light intensified one final time.

---

A few things to note, I know many may see it as cringe and a WTF moment, but I had to use the creed (no the Green Lanterns aren't gonna appear, I just wanted to use the creed as it felt fitting and Lathander sounds close enough to Lantern, that's it. Don't get too worked up as this isn't a Massive Crossover, I hate those). Also, Douglas Doubleway Fairbanks isn't an OC he is a DnD character who was famed for being extremely ambidextrous and a highly renown dual-wielding. The book would have been for Vax given Naruto uses Rasengan, which requires a free hand, but Vox Machina is composed of a group of fuck ups who do things without realize the consequences of their actions at times and this was one of Naruto's where he learned a skill that might not have necessarily been useful for him given his combat style.

And yes, I'm using Lathander here, an actual DnD god and not an OC either. He is not one of the Creators or a Prime Deity of Exandria but I felt that none of the current Gods best fit him so I used an Outer God (gods who, despite not having a role in a certain world's creation influence, but can still be powerful and influential elsewhere) as Lathander is a Greater God (pretty much at the top of the divine hierarchy) and the God of Renewal, Spring, Youth, Birth, as well as athletics, self-perfection, vitality and creativity (all of which fits Naruto). In DnD Lore, certain gods have influence on multiple planets in the Crystal Sphere (basically the entire planetary system, while some only have influence on a few.) Travel between them was common using Spelljammers in the past but a running theme is civilizations (particularly humans) from different worlds pushing the boundaries too far and blowing up in their faces and it ended with their capabilities and technology being lost or banned by powerful entities who felt mortals couldn't be trusted with that kind of power as the long terms problems it caused were pretty extreme.

Lastly, believe it or not, I looked up the word chenga they used in the show and the word actually exist and it's Swahili. It's usually used as a sport's term for dodging, sidestepping, or dribbling, evading, or retreat in football and it can be used as a slang to describe someone deceptive. Don't know if that was done purposely or Grog just spouting random BS but given Grog has weird moments of briliance I thought it was appropriate to let those unaware know as his creator Travis, who also voices him, is the fastest one to make math calculations out of the group despite Grog having an INT of score of 6. Travis is said to have the best strategic mind and knows how to read the room when it comes to do something or when not to, often nicknamed Professor Grog as a result.

---

Naruto's New Stats
​

Uzumaki Naruto

Race: Human Variant - Elementian

Subrace: Uzumaki Clan

Class: Ninja

Archetype: Ninjutsu Specialist

Background: Prankster

Speed: 50

AC: 13/14?

Level: 9

Hit Points: 161

Chakra Points: 171

STR: 13 (+1)

CON: 24 (+7)

DEX: 16/18 (+3/4)

INT: 9 (-1)

WIS: 12 (+1)

CHA: 13 (+1)

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Naruto's Equipment
​

Naruto's Shortsword

Category: Weapon (Shortsword)

Item Rarity: Rare

Property: 1d6 Slashing, Light, Finesse

Attunement: Yes

Description: A shortsword owned by Naruto of unknown origin in a design similar to a ninjatou of his homeland so it functions as a slashing weapon instead of a piercing weapon like common shortswords. While unsheathed and near undead or those with evil intentions the sword shines a brilliant light that makes such beings quite uncomfortable. The sword can communicate with Naruto by transmitting emotions that he can interpret as though it were speaking.

Benefits:

- Light's Shadow (1/Day): While you are attuned to this sword, you can use an action to cast Darkness. You can't use this ability until the next dawn.

- Holy Light: When unsheathed the sword sheds a bright light in a 5-foot radius and dim light by 10 feet. As a bonus action, you can extend the bright light for an additional 5 feet and dim light by another 5 feet. While unsheathed, a number of undead creatures and those of evil alignment equal to your Constitution Modifier find the sword's light disconcerting and painful, even if they can't see it, causing them to have disadvantage on attack rolls made within the weapon's light radius.

- Searing Light: Once per turn, when attacking an undead creature or creatures of evil alignment, they take an additional 1d6 radiant damage.

- Lathander's Light (1/Day): As an action, after uttering a specific set of words, the weapon shines brightly and in a radius of 30 feet it unleashes a holy light that forces undead creatures and those of evil alignment to make a DC 14 Constitution saving roll. On a failed save, the creatures take 3d10 radiant damage, or half that on a successful save. Once used, this ability can't be used until the following dawn, Searing Light goes inert for the same amount of time, and the user cannot take reactions and has their movement speed halved until the start of their next turn.

- Sentient: The sword can communicate with its wielder by conveying emotions. It has hearing and normal vision out to a range of 30 feet, but only when unsheathed. Otherwise, it has a hearing and normal vision of 5 feet.

- Personality: The sword has a desire to do good and an intense hatred for all things evil. When unsheathed and within a certain amount of feet of a being of undead, or evil alignment it can identify and convey this to its wielder via emotion, but doing so does not reveal the creature's ability scores or abilities.

---

Naruto's New Equipment
​

Ring of Tongue

Category: Ring

Item Rarity: Uncommon

Attunement: No

Benefits: Speak and understand Common (including reading and writing)

Description: A silvery metal band made. When speaking, the ring allows others to understand what you are saying as if you are speaking the Common tongue and allows you to understand what others are saying when they speak Common, so long as you wear it along with the ability to read and write Common as well.

---

The Graceful Cloth

Category: Clothing

Item Rarity: Rare

Attunement: Yes

Armor Class: 10 + Dexterity Modifier

Benefits: +2 DEX (to a Maximum of 20); Cat's Grace (Gain advantage on Dexterity check and take half fall damage); Nimble as a Cat (You gain +1 bonus to your Dexterity Saving throws and also increase your jumping distance by 5 feet).

Description: A garment typically worn by monks or those not proficient with armour that enhances their ability to dodge a foe's melee weapon, missile or spell along with making them more coordinated and improve their jumping distance.

---

Manual of Doubleway Douglas Fairbanks

Category: Wondrous item

Item Rarity: Very Rare

Description/Benefits: This weathered manual is unassuming in appearance yet feels surprisingly light to the touch. The pages contain the kinetic philosophy and staccato footwork of the legendary master duelist Douglas Fairbanks. To absorb its teachings, you must spend 48 hours over a period of 6 days or fewer studying the book and practicing its whirlwind forms. Once the study is complete, the manual's magic seeps into your muscle memory, and the book goes Inert for 100 years. You permanently gain the following benefits:

- Doubleway Fighting Style

You gain the Two-Weapon Fighting style (you can add your ability modifier to the damage of your second attack). If you already possess this style, you may instead choose the Defense or Dueling fighting style.

- The Doubleway Flow

You have learned to blend your strikes into a single, seamless motion. Once per turn, when you take the Attack action and attack with a light melee weapon, you can make one additional attack with a different light melee weapon you are holding in your other hand as part of the same action, rather than as a bonus action. You can use this feature a number of times per day equal to your Proficiency Bonus, regaining all uses after a long rest.

- Focused Strike
You have an eye for finding gaps in a foe's guard during a flurry. Once per turn, when you hit a creature with a melee attack using a light weapon, you can deal extra damage equal to your Proficiency Bonus. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Proficiency Bonus, regaining all uses after a long rest.

- Doubleway's Zenith

Once per day, as an action, you can enter a state of supernatural speed. You gain the benefits of the Haste spell for 1 minute. You must maintain concentration on this effect as if it were a spell. When the effect ends, you are lethargic and cannot move or take actions until after your next turn.

---

Naruto's New Features/Feats
​

Doubleway's Two-Weapon Fighting Style: This unique form of fighting was developed by the legendary dual-wielding master Doubleway Douglas Fairbanks who was renown for his his unmatched skill, precision and speed at the time. The magic in one of the few manuals he left behind allows you to add your proficiency to damage rolls to your weapons, as well as your Ability Score Modifier to your off-hand weapon, so long as the weapons you wield have the 'Light' trait. The extra attack you make with your off-hand weapon becomes part of the Attack action, but this can only be done once per turn.

(Gained as a result of reading a Manual of Doubleway Douglas Fairbanks acquired from Brimscythe's Lair)

---

Mobile: You are exceptionally speedy and agile. You gain the following benefits: Your speed increases by 10 feet. When you use the Dash action, difficult terrain doesn't cost you extra movement on that turn. When you make a melee attack against a creature, you don't provoke opportunity attacks from that creature for the rest of the turn, whether you hit or not.

---

The Briarwoods
​

Lady Delilah Briarwood

Medium Humanoid (Human), Neutral Evil

Armor Class: 18

Hit Points: 144 (17d8 + 51)

Speed: 30 ft.

DC: 19

STR: 10 (+0)

DEX: 14 (+2)

CON: 16 (+3)

INT: 20 (+5)

WIS: 14 (+2)

CHA: 16 (+3)

Saving Throws: Int +11, Wis +8

Skills: Arcana +11, History +11, Deception +9, Insight +8

Damage Resistances: Piercing and Necrotic

Languages: Common, Abyssal, Elvish, Infernal

Challenge Rating: 18 (20,000XP)

Traits/Features/Abilities

Necromancy Savant: Time and costs to transcribe necromancy spells into her spellbook are halved.

Inured to Undeath: She has resistance to necrotic damage and her maximum hit points cannot be reduced.

Undead Thralls: When casting Animate Dead, she can target one additional corpse. Creatures created have increased hit points and add her proficiency bonus to their weapon damage rolls. Grim Harvest: Once per turn, when she kills a creature with a spell of 1st level or higher, she regains hit points equal to twice the spell's level (three times if it is a necromancy spell).

Warcaster: Delilah has experience casting spells in the midst of combat, granting her the following benefits:

- An advantage on Constitution saving throws to ensure she maintains her concentration on a spell whenever she takes damage.

- She can perform the somatic components of spells even when she has weapons or a shield in one or both hands.

- When a hostile creature's movement provokes an opportunity attack from her, she can use her reaction to cast a spell at the creature, rather than making an opportunity attack. The spell must have a casting time of 1 action and must target only that creature.

Secrets of the Whispered One: Delilah has been imbued with long-forgotten and forbidden knowledge, which has enabled her to use certain spells with greater versatility than originally designed and also increased the amount of spell slots a wizard would normally possess at her level. Delilah possesses one additional spell slot for each spell level she can cast from 1st through 5th level. When Delilah casts a spell that deals damage, she can choose to change that spell's damage type to Necrotic. She must make this choice before the spell is cast.

Sanguine Syphon (1/Day): Once a day, Delilah can touch Sylas and channel a surge of vitalizing necrotic energy into his form that ignores resistance to necrotic damage. Upon use, Delilah must target a creature within 10 feet of her that must make a DC 20 Constitution saving roll. On a failed save, the target takes (55)10d10 necrotic damage, half that on a successful one. Sylas regains hit points equal to half the damage amount + her character level. Additionally, if Sylas's Regeneration trait has been suppressed by radiant damage, sunlight, running water or holy water, this spell immediately ends that suppression. He can benefit from his Regeneration trait at the start of his very next turn, regardless of when he last took damage that would normally suppress his Regeneration. Unless he is in the equivalent of direct sunlight, his Regeneration can't be suppressed for 1 minute. This spell does not consume a spell slot, but its damage capabilities can be increased by 1d10 by using a level 5 spell slot or for every two spell slots above level 5. If there is no target available, Delilah can instead sacrifice a level 9 spell slot to heal 5d10 Hit points + her Character level, or she can instead suffer (27) 5d10 Necrotic damage. The latter results in Sylas being healed by the total amount of damage she suffered + her character level but causes her to lose her resistance to necrotic damage until the end of her next turn along with being unable to cast spells of 5th level or higher until the end of her next turn. This spell can only be performed at night and once used can't be performed until the next dawn.

Legendary Actions

Delilah can take up to two legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action can be used at a time, and only at the end of another creature's turn. Spent legendary actions are regained at the start of each of his turn:

Shadow Step: Delilah can Teleport 30 feet to an unoccupied space without provoking opportunity attacks.

Unquestionable Devotion: Delilah can cast Sanguine Syphon. Once used, this legendary action can't be used until the next dawn and only at night.

---

Lord Sylas Briarwood

Medium undead (shapechanger), Neutral evil

Armor Class: 19

Hit Points: 244 (16d10 + 112)

Speed: 40/55 ft., 40/55 ft. (bat), 20 ft. (mist)

STR: 20 (+5)

DEX: 18 (+4)

CON: 20 (+5)

INT: 14 (+2)

WIS: 14 (+2)

CHA: 16 (+3)

Saving Throws: STR +11, DEX +10, CON +12

Skills: Athletics +17, Perception +8, Stealth +11

Damage Resistances: Necrotic; Bludgeoning, Piercing, and Slashing from nonmagical attacks

Senses: Darkvision 120 ft.,

Languages: Common, Elvish

Challenge Rating: 17 (18,000XP); 19 in lair (22,000XP)

Traits

Legendary Resistance (3/Day): If Sylas fails a saving throw, he can choose to succeed instead.

Regeneration: Sylas regains 20 hit points at the start of his turn if he has at least 1 hit point and isn't in sunlight or running water or suffered from radiant damage in his previous turn. Sylas can also regenerate lost limbs over the course of 1d4 + 1 days, so long as he wasn't beheaded. I

Misty Escape: When he drops to 0 hit points outside his resting place, he transforms into a cloud of mist.

Mobile: Sylas is exceptionally speedy and agile, gaining the following benefits: His speed increases by 10 feet. When he use the Dash action, difficult terrain doesn't cost him extra movement on that turn. When he makes a melee attack against a creature, he doesn't provoke opportunity attacks from that creature for the rest of the turn, whether he hits or not.

Fighter's Grit (Action Surge): Once per short rest, Sylas can take one additional action on his turn.

Spider Climb: Sylas can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

Shapechanger: As a vampire, if Sylas isn't in sunlight or running water, he can use an action to polymorph into a Tiny bat or a Medium cloud of mist, or back into his true form. While in bat form, he can't speak, his walking speed is 5 feet, and it has a flying speed of 30 feet. His statistics, other than his size and speed, are unchanged. Anything he is wearing transforms with him, but nothing he is carrying does and he reverts to his true form if he dies. While in mist form, Sylas can't take any actions, speak, or manipulate objects. He is weightless, has a flying speed of 20 feet, can hover, and can enter a hostile creature's space and stop there. In addition, if air can pass through a space, the mist can do so without squeezing, and he can't pass through water. He has advantage on Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution saving throws, and is immune to all nonmagical damage, except the damage he takes from sunlight.

Harmed by Running Water: Sylas takes 20 acid damage if he ends his turn in running water.

Stake to the Heart: If a piercing weapon made of wood is driven into Sylas' heart while he is incapacitated in his resting place, he becomes paralyzed until the stake is removed.

Sunlight Hypersensitivity: Sylas takes 20 radiant damage when he starts his turn in sunlight. While in sunlight, he has disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks.

Unique Feats:

Titan's Grip: Sylas possesses supernatural, vampiric leverage that allows him to treat Huge or smaller environmental objects (like uprooted trees or stone pillars) as oversized improvised weapons.

Strength of the Damned: Sylas has advantage on Strength (Athletics) checks made to lift, push, or uproot objects and his size is considered one size larger (Large) when determining his carrying capacity, and the weight he can push, drag, or lift. His proficiency bonus is doubled on Strength (Athletic) checks.

Environmental Bludgeon (3/Day): Three times a day, as an action, and if he passes an Athletics check, Sylas can push his strength to the absolute limit to wield a Large or Huge object for 1 minute, such as a tree or column and use it as a bludgeon. Doing so reduces his speed by half but gives his attacks a reach of 15 feet and he deals 4d8 + 5 bludgeoning damage. On a hit, the target must succeed on a DC 19 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone. Once all three are used up, Sylas must roll a DC 18 Constitution saving roll or suffer one level of exhaustion.

Nocturnal Predator: Between the hours of sunset and sunrise, Sylas' walking speed increases by 15 feet. He lose the benefits of this feat if he takes Radiant damage, is affected by Holy Water, start his turn in Sunlight, or while standing in Running Water (until the end of his next turn).

Actions

Multiattack (Vampire Form Only): Sylas makes two attacks, only one of which can be a bite attack or armed strike.

Unarmed Strike (Vampire Form Only): Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 9 (1d8 + 5) bludgeoning or slashing damage (Sylas' choice). Instead of dealing damage, Sylas can grapple the target (escape DC 19).

Armed Strike (Craven Edge): Melee Weapon Attack: +13 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 14 (2d6 + 7) slashing damage. When he lands a hit with Craven Edge the target must make a Constitution saving throw (DC 12). On a failure, Craven Edge drains the strength score of attacked creatures by 1, increasing its wielder's own Strength score (both the target and Sylas' score returns to normal after a short rest). When the wielder's Strength score is increased to 25, Craven Edge turns into an even larger, more jagged blade that seeps shadow. While in this form, the sword gains the Oversized trait, dealing 19 (3d6 +9) slashing damage instead of the usual 2d6 rolls for greatswords, along with an additional 7 (2d6) necrotic damage. After he takes a short or long rest, the weapon reverts to its normal state.

Bite (Bat or Vampire Form Only): Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 5 ft., one willing creature, or a creature that is grappled by Sylas, incapacitated, or restrained. Hit: 8 (1d6 + 5) piercing damage plus 10 (3d6) necrotic damage. The target's hit point maximum is reduced by an amount equal to the necrotic damage taken, and Sylas regains hit points equal to that amount. The reduction lasts until the target finishes a long rest. The target dies if this effect reduces its hit point maximum to 0. A humanoid slain in this way and then buried in the ground rises the following night as a vampire spawn under Sylas's control.

Children of the Night (1/Day): Sylas can magically call 2d4 swarms of bats or rats, provided that the sun isn't up. While outdoors, he can call 3d6 wolves instead. The called creatures arrive in 1d4 rounds, acting as allies and obeying his spoken commands. The beasts remain for 1 hour, until he dies, or until he dismisses them as a bonus action.

Legendary Dark Charm: Sylas targets one humanoid he can see within 30 ft. of him. If the target can see him, the target must succeed on a DC 19 Wisdom saving throw or be Charmed. Unlike a standard charm, this effect does not expire after 24 hours. The target remains Charmed until the vampire dies, is on a different plane of existence than the target for more than 24 hours. The Charmed target regards Sylas as a trusted leader or a dear friend to be heeded and protected. Although the target isn't under Sylas' direct control, it takes his requests or actions in the most favorable way. Sylas can have a number of creatures Charmed this way equal to his Charisma modifier (minimum of 1) at any given time. Each time Sylas or one of his companions do something harmful to the target, the target can repeat the saving throw. Otherwise, the target does not receive additional saves for taking damage from outside sources or for the passage of time. Using Greater Restoration to break the charm requires the charmed individual to pass a DC 19 Wisdom saving throw. On a success, the charm ends and the target realizes they were under Sylas' influence and becomes hostile. On a failure, the target suffers 1d8 necrotic damage + Sylas Charisma modifier and the DC for this check increases by 1 (resetting after 24 hours). If the DC reaches 21, the save is made with disadvantage and the damage increases to 2d8.

Legendary Actions

Sylas can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action can be used at a time, and only at the end of another creature's turn. Spent legendary actions are regained at the start of each of his turn:

Move (Cost 1 Action): Sylas moves up to his speed without provoking opportunity attacks.

Unarmed Strike (Cost 1 Action): Sylas makes one unarmed strike.

Bite (Costs 2 Actions): Sylas makes one bite attack.

---

Craven Edge

Category: Weapon

Item Rarity: Legendary

Attunement: Yes

Damage: 2d6/3d6 (when transformed)

Description: A large, onyx, two-handed greatsword with a dark and vicious personality, seeking violence at any opportunity. It wishes to be used by merciless creatures who will feed it when ordered to.

Benefits:

- +2 to attack rolls and damage

- Dark Aura: Grants the wielder advantage on Charisma (Intimidation) checks when unsheathed.

- Devour the Weak: Whenever Craven Edge damages a living creature, that creature must roll a Constitution saving throw (DC 12). On a failed save, Craven Edge drains one point from the creature's Strength score, grows larger, and transfers it to the wielder (increasing to a maximum of 25 Strength) until the next short rest or long rest. Creatures brought to 0 Strength by this feature are slain.

Conditional Traits:

- Gluttonous Evolution: If Craven Edge devours enough strength from Devour the Weak to bring the wielder to 25 Strength, then the blade shifts form one last time into a larger, jagged blade that seeps shadow. Until the wielder's next short rest or long rest, all attacks with this sword deal an additional 2d6 necrotic damage, and it gains the Oversized trait. After its wielder takes a short or long rest, the weapon's damage roll reverts to the usual 2d6.

- Oversized: The weapon is exceptionally large and deals more damage. As a result, instead of the usual 2d6 rolls for greatswords, Craven Edge deals 3d6 slashing damage instead. The wielder suffers a penalty of -2 to attack rolls while it's in this state unless their size is large or has a feature/trait that considers it large. Creatures whose Strength score is less than 18 also suffer from disadvantage on attack rolls. If their size is Small or less, they are unable to use the weapon.