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| User | Total |
|---|---|
| AJ_Talon | 5 |
Good news you don't have to deal with the two horned dick heads. Bad news Mommy Salami is no longer suicidal.
Nonsense; the previous version of Jaune SI was not a Gary Stu. I just hope he doesn't change too much from that earlier version—which, in my opinion, looked really good.I am making some changes from the original Patreon commission, to expand the story out a bit. I wanted to stay within budget but I'm making some changes here and there and expanding the story in a few places. I am also trying very hard to avoid Jaune SI being a Gary Stu. So hopefully I avoid that.
Only thing missing was Ruby going full Chad Yes to being called a gun racist. Otherwise, well done.
Many! The original commissioner only had enough money for around 50,000 words of an adaptation from script to prose. But I'm continuing on! Right to the finish!
If memory serves pyrrha was invited and you gto dejected seeing your only ray of hope, sun, hook up with coco
Then they pointed out you were afraid of forming a harem.
I really curious about where u plan going from there
Good idea to change the order of when Jaune decided to talk to Ozpin. This feels much more natural and it actually makes sense for Jaune to tell him after he realised how much he actually cares about RWBY and NPR. Makes it all feel much more like an actual buildup to this decision by Jaune.Ugh. Sorry guys, I was using an older draft that got mixed into the actual story. So I had to rearrange things a little. I was tempted to expand Black and White a bit, but honestly, SI Jaune didn't change much and there's not much point in him being too involved.