Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

Is there any consensus to be had?

 

[X] The greatest actress of the coming age takes the stage! Fake taking a hit and hitting the deck like an extra in a Bruce Lee movie!

That now has the most votes but not by much and depends on what Guile actually votes for.

 

X] Damn, it's time for your Matrix impersonation, isn't it?

 

[X] Take it and the broken nose that comes with it.

Because it's probably the one choice Kakashi doesn't expect us to do, and I feel contrary.

 

[X] The greatest actress of the coming age takes the stage! Fake taking a hit and hitting the deck like an extra in a Bruce Lee movie!

 

I'm tempted to change my vote to "[X] the greatest actress", but I'll only do so if there's still a tie by tomorrow.

Also, how do people say "battle" in Canada? Like in a "buttler" or maybe rhyming with "mettle"? Yes, this is relevant to this thread.

 

...the same way as anyone else? In Ontario Anyway.
b-ah-tul? rhymes with rattle

 

Yeah, I'm voting for 'fake taking the hit'.

 

@ Acaila: Battle - Rattle, you say... Hmm, thanks! This gave me a line.

 

Don't really think we're gonna fool Kakashi. I think we end up taking the hit anyway.

I think legit taking it is probably the only way to surprise the man, in part because it's completely contrary to our style of fighting. Well, except that fighting contrary is our style of fighting, but I'm just being contrary.

Point is, it's the one thing that may spork Kakashi, it gets us pity points from everyone else, and who knows if we play dead well enough maybe Sasuke will advance a rank in Sharingan.

 

... But then we get a broken nose!

 

And he'll never see it coming!

Seriously though, it's Kakashi. At this point I think getting a broken SOMETHING is inevitable. So I'd rather try and find a way to turn it to our advantage.

 

So... out of curiosity, how many of you guys would still like this story if I changed a bunch of names, switched one or two things around, and made it into original fiction? 'Cause the climate is really right for that kind of laziness and I know I'm a better writer than Cassandra Cla(i)re.

[X] Oops! up! side-ya-head, I said oops upside ya head

Right. No point in being a moron who thinks fighting an elite jounin head-on is a good idea.

Better to stick to your talents, and go for sneakiness.

The punch arrives, and with a cry and the slightest twitch of your ankles, you jump backward and fall into a roll in the dirt, kicking up dust.

Granted, you aren't likely to fool Kakashi...

"Ino!"

... but you can fool a couple of genin into dividing his attention momentarily.

"Oi, what was that for, sensei?!" Naruto demands. "She didn't even do anything!"

"Well, neither did I, really..." Kakashi says, sounding somewhat taken aback.

The opening isn't huge and isn't going to last. You're about two metres away. What do you do?

[X] Boot to the head!

[X] Gaze into the fist of Dredd!

[X] Quickly, henge up an injury! Milk the misunderstanding for all it's worth! Cry!

[X] Shunshin into the forest before the dust fully clears. Remember, direct engagement is a bad idea. Be stealthy and make him come to you.

[X] Well, he did kind of imply you were here to help out. Sit up and say, "Lesson one, guys; just because something looks plausible, that doesn't mean it's actually what's happening."

[X] Write in

 

Oh huh, how 'bout that? I was sure Kakashi was gonna follow through and bust our nose anyway.

Or maybe he wasn't planning on doing it to begin with, and if we'd held still and took it we'd have called his bluff.

....That would have been awesome.

 

[X] Shunshin into the forest before the dust fully clears. Remember, direct engagement is a bad idea. Be stealthy and make him come to you.

 

[X] Boot to the head!

No need to draw it out.

 

I would still read that. How was that in Shakespeare? A rose by any other name would smell the same.

[X] "Lesson one, guys; "
[X] Kick him in the shins while he's distracted. If possible, use the kick to move away from him.

 

[X] Boot to the head!

 

[X] Shunshin into the forest before the dust fully clears. Remember, direct engagement is a bad idea. Be stealthy and make him come to you.

I wouldn't mind it. Of course, I would like it more if you did the editing after posting updates to this.

EDIT: Well, I might still like it. Can't say for sure, since I haven't read it.

 

I just remembered that this is a Cosmos quest, not Cosmic quest. Rose, cosmos... Same difference.

 

Oh, I thought it meant "cosmos" as in "universe." That makes waaay more sense.

 

[X] Boot to the head!

 

[X] Well, he did kind of imply you were here to help out. Sit up and say, "Lesson one, guys; just because something looks plausible, that doesn't mean it's actually what's happening."

The whole point is to maintain a little class here.
Even with a distraction, you're unlikely to lay a hand on Kakashi, so play it cool.

It's of note that Sasuke, who knows us best, didn't say anything.

 

[X] Well, he did kind of imply you were here to help out. Sit up and say, "Lesson one, guys; just because something looks plausible, that doesn't mean it's actually what's happening."

 

[X] Before the dust settles, slither through the dirt and use Speed 5 to riffle his pockets. Looking for bells! Totally. Sasuke told you about his sensei.
[X] Acknowledge you have no idea where Kakashi - or you - were going with this, but it's just kind of second nature by now.

 

[X] Quickly, henge up an injury! Milk the misunderstanding for all it's worth! Cry!


And yes I would still read it if it is original fiction as I am reading it for your work and not for the remnants of Ninja canon.

 

[X] Well I just shoot from the hip, and I aim for the head

In a single fluid motion, Kakashi grabs your incoming heel and holds you up by it.

Instinctively you begin flailing and bobbing madly, but you don't get to be an elite jounin by slacking off on the basics; the second you bend your foot backward and around he adjusts his grip to make not only escape impossible, but resetting your ankle to normal as well - at least until whenever he decides to let you loose.

You aren't paying much attention to that, however. What really gets you is that he kept you from riffling through his pockets. He didn't stop you in the act, he intercepted you before you even got there. Asuma can do that, sure - now. Kakashi met you yesterday.

Just how fast is he?

"The first thing you should know about a jounin," he informs his students, ignoring your futile struggling, "is that few of the truly skilled ones are overconfident in their abilities. Whatever arrogance they have is based on the cold, hard fact that normal genin and chuunin are absolutely no threat to them."

He drops you, and with a twitch you manage to land on your ass instead of your head.

"Thankfully, most jounin aren't truly skilled," he adds. He peers down at you with his one exposed eye. "Tell me, Ino; your main specialities are infiltration, stealth and genjutsu, correct?"

Popping your ankle back into its socket, you nod. "Yeah."

"Then why did you try to kick me just now? Why didn't you play to your strengths?"

[X] Write-in?

 

[X] Two reasons. First, to help drive home the fact of just how outclassed we are by jonin who deserve their rank and two, So i could Riff through your pockets to get information on what your planing by checking your loadout.

 

[X] Bullshit, "Well you know, it's hard to improvise when I'm not sure what lesson you're trying to teach! You old pros can be so hard on budding young actresses."
Bashfully, "And sometimes I get too clever for my own good, and try something like 'Hey, I'll kick 'im! He'll never expect that!'"
In our heart of hearts, 'I think hanging around Asuma and Anko - awesome as they are - made us complacent. Good lesson for us on top of whatever he's teaching these guys.'

 

Should have known that people would have gone for a quote from a comedy sketch, rather than actually thinking about it. :notfunny:

[X] To be fair, speed is another strength of mine, and you seemed surprised.