Teacher Nightmare [Naruto]

I just read this whole thing (for the first time).

And I have to say, that this is an awesome story which I have enjoy very much. I would like to see it continue. That, unfortunately, is unlikely to happen anytime soon, seeing as GoC haven't been logged in here for over a month (and has not posted on SB, either, since his month-long ban back in February), so necroing the thread will not remind him of its existence.


On subject of "necroing":

This is not SB.
There are no rules against it and with merely two pages of quest threads, it's not obvious that we need them.

Generally, a mechanical solution would be preferable by far (and on SB, as well):
A) An option to receive Alerts (or get a special "new" tag next to the thread name), iff the thread starter has replied to a topic,
or, if the admins are totally incapable of implementing that,
B) the automatic creation of a "story-only" thread, if an quest thread is created, to force the GM to update that as well, and so inform the players of any and all quest updates.
Edit:
C) Put the thread on auto-sage (use the 'sticky' system, perhaps), if the thread starter hasn't replied within two weeks and don't display it in the 'recent posts' list at the top.

For you see: For me, people bitching about necros is doubtlessly the most annoying part of them.

 

GoC was last on 10 days ago.

10. just 10. He was bitching about his latest ban in IRC. he'll be back in eventually.

 

what does he keep doing?

 

He's like a fish. He keeps biting the Troll's bait.

 

It was rather hard to fit in the Bijuu chakra use like the votes said, but I managed in the end.
Also, new record for greatest time between updates for a Quest! :-\

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[X] Naruto

You are Naruto Uzumaki and you're not afraid to admit that you're scared. There's a ton of really tough-looking ninja with all sorts of weird jutsu who want to kill you and your teammates!

But you're Naruto Uzumaki (future hokage), so you're gonna defend your teammates, save your teacher and defeat these bastards!

You make a dozen of your cool clones which start firing Air Blasts at any ninja in sight. But they're dodging all over the place and you can't get any hits!

"Let's coordinate, idiot!" your friend Sasuke yells at a few of you, as he tries to use a Phoenix Sage Fire jutsu to match up balls of fire with your wind shots.

That's a pretty cool idea! Makes them bigger at least.



Your jaw drops. That girl might as well be wearing nothing! Her watery clothes are skintight! And see-through! And she's just popped two of your clones and smashed you down through the roof!

Right, mustn't get distracted, even if the enemy ninja are totally hot.

You're a bit dazed but Naruto Uzumaki never gives up!

You meet her jump down with an Air Blast which she twists out of the way of right into another Air Blast from a clone and some fire from Sasuke.

...

Now she doesn't have anything on at all!!!

You jump away. You want to fight someone who isn't naked and making you hot under the collar! Sasuke can handle this just fine.

Whoops, not her either.

A guy is not much better!!!! Isn't there ANYONE in this battle who's kept their clothes on?!

YES! Very big, tough, angry, wearing full armor and- and Sakura just electrocuted him.

You've just finished taking the scaly guy out of the fight when you hear a scream.

No. No no no no no no NO!

"I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

==========PoV Sasuke==========

Your Bunshin has just had it's head chopped off (the scream was probably a mistake...) when you feel a crushing pressure of HATERAGEMALICEDESTRUCTION. Action is impossible, even curling up into a tiny ball and rocking yourself until it goes away. A distant part of you that's still rational recognizes this as some abhorrent version of killer intent; the titanic, twisted, oppressive, primordial ancestor of what a ninja might use.

It takes several seconds of sitting in your (controlled!) fire before you manage to get a hold of yourself, the habits and routines for dealing with killing intent finally kicking in. You make sure to exit in the opposite direction to the screams and mayhem.

Time to find whoever on your team is still alive (where are all the Narutos?) and get the heck out of here while the horrible thing (you don't think you're actually seeing it with your eyes, just getting the impressions of things like Red, Rage and Rending pumped directly into your brain, which is then making shit up) is still dealing with the town ninja.

As you reach the big purple forcefield to regroup, it flickers out, accompanied by a minor boom from one corner.

Is the pink one going to make a habit of blowing up her hands to go along with her general psychoticism? Ugh, not the time.

Sensei flickers out and then collapses unmoving, looking surprisingly undamaged. You hope his clone has a clue what to do.

Still no sign of any Naruto, time to grab, run, and hope he didn't become demon food (or whatever it was, you're no monster expert).

Sakura has to take out a couple of mooks on the egress, but you make it outside this death trap in under ten seconds.

Sensei's clone takes one look at the original, uses a couple of healing jutsu that makes Kakashi cough up some disgusting greenish blood, leaves you in command (Sakura is looking woozy from blood loss) and then immediately disperses, great.

When you get back you're going to use as much of your influence as you can to push for safe first-time-outside missions for gennin, because this is ridiculous!

First, a team check:

The self-cauterized and mangled remains of Sakura's forearm make you a bit queezy, you never did take the sight of blood well. Let alone fractured bits of bone and various viscera sticking out. You don't think she cares very much. Creepy. Despite the blood loss she's conscious and probably still good for killing things provided they're unskilled or unimaginative.

You also have an unconscious high-level jounin suffering the obvious symptoms of chakra exhaustion. You hope the poison is now on the ground with the blood or you'll all be in pretty deep doo-doo.

You're still in almost top form though, over two thirds your chakra left and no significant injuries. Oh, you also seem to have gained an extra tomoe in your right eye. Despite the circumstances that still brings a small smile to your face. One left.

And now a situation check:

You're only a couple of dozen metres into the tree-line around the town and a quick sharingan look shows no signs of that vile chakra coming from the it. No signs of living ninja or jutsu usage either. You'll tentatively call that a positive.

What do you do?

 

One of the many reasons I kept getting stuck on this update was because it is really really hard to convey information using the thoughts of a berserker. It's not something I had considered when I chose this style (btw: I hope I managed to give each character a distinctive style). I eventually decided that the readers won't be controlling red chakra!Naruto due to the lack of much to control.

Background infodump (feel free to ask further questions about what Sasuke knows):
A large proportion of the Academy training is learning to instinctively use chakra to reinforce your body in various ways, for instance as 'sweat' to dissipate heat from a grand fireball (a very good way to drain an enemy's chakra).
The reason Naruto fights can actually end in knockout without permanent damage is that a sudden large drain on chakra (especially while a ninja is low on chakra) shocks the brain unconscious.
Nearest Konoha outpost Sasuke knows of is a Sakura hour away. A four man squad of chunnin being the norm for an outpost.

@Dinya: Glad you like it!

I dunno who that was but I've had nothing to do with SB (including their IRC channel) for one year exactly (going by my IRC logs).

 

[X] Naruto discovering the joys of nekkid kunoichi and shinobi~

 

[X] Naruto discovering the joys of nekkid kunoichi~

 

[X] Rip and tear, shred and savage. Your mind is blank, wiped to a clean state by your rage- All you can see is the enemy, and all you know is that you want them dead. Everything else is just unimportant details.

 

Technically I was asking for Sasuke's actions ("investigate solo", "get help", "send in Sakura", ect.), but I suppose Naruto is fine too once he's no longer berserk.
Be warned though, I'm treating this as a consistent universe. "Naruto discovering the joys of nekkid kunoichi" will be interpreted in a way that makes sense in universe (as it's not solely a command to a reader controlled individual, it also needs a particular context to make sense). This may not be what you guys intend.

 

So Naruto is the first in his team to discover the joys of sex?
I want all teh dirty details~ In a PM~

 

I would guess it to be closer to an inspirational, introspective creations of Rembrandt

 

Note: voting definitely still open.

Whatever gave you that idea?
Also, this Quest is set in a (hopefully) consistent world with plenty of (hopefully) intelligent characters doing their own thing behind the scenes, which is then viewed through a lens of action/adventure/humour/drama. Neither porno logic nor porno writing will apply.

 

[X] Naruto discovering the joys of nekkid kunoichi~

I'm pretty sure Naruto knows what sex is at some level. He did invent the Orioke no Jutsu afterall... As for practical experience... That would be interesting...

 

my take on the naked kunoichi bit is that a certain toad summoner is gonna have a hobby to share with his godson.

 

So basically, no. There will be no sexing.

It will, in fact, probably have nothing to do with how the vote was intended at all.

 

Most likely scenario, naruto vs. Random naked chick with some amusing comments from Naruto.

 

Which would still be totally worth it.

 

[x]Drag kakashi's unconsious body to an out of sight place and have sakura start securing it while sasuke goes out solo to find the idiot.

because Naruto's reaction to finding Sasuke alive when he went berserk over his 'death' is likely to be hilarious.

 

Eh, since I've already posted, might as well vote.

[X] Above

 

[X] dragondude
Drag kakashi's unconsious body to an out of sight place and have sakura start securing it while sasuke goes out solo to find the idiot.

Because, well, a team. Albeit I'd be more interested in Naruto's PoV though I don't think Sasuke would go after him on his own. Having to guard and all, which is eminently sensible if he's halfway sure that his teammate has been killed by a strange ninja just now.

I am amused by Sasuke's reactions. I am amused by Naruto's reactions. I am amused that Anko's village is full of naked ninjas. What are you doing, ANKO!? It is not hard to imagine how this happened though. I am also amused how there was 10 months between updates. And how voter reaction is to ignore the emo. Poor Sasuke.

Though yes, I do agree that Naruto's reaction is a bit odd, if he did invent Oiroke in this AU. Being uncomfortable to the point of running away, he wouldn't have been able to get it down nor use it later in the first place.

Reduntant, but...
What in "Naruto discovering the joys of nekkid kunoichi~" gave you that idea?