Walk on the Moon (Naruto SI)

Letting someone you don't trust cover your back is beyond foolish

 

So rei has never done anything foolish because there is a high enough reward? I find it very weird to think that Rei won't end up with Virulent in her Mischief. If not now, then later. Rei is stubborn, but she actually will change her mind about her approach when given reason to (like when Nao initially did when discussing with her how to get better, and to improve her attitude). We've actually seen where Rei draws lines, and its never been about unpleasentness to her, its been about when an action is morally repulsive. She would never kill her sister, or family for power. She wouldn't do the awakening to Hinata. The closest she got to crossing it was when she nearly Killed Hinata, and that was something she really regretted doing and made her realize how broken she is.

When I read for instance, this:

I don't see a girl ready to tell a a rat to fuck off. I see a girl prepared to do what is necessary even if it is painful.

 

INtresting...

 

So it looks like Rei is planning a heist.

Given her out of context knowledge and obsession with getting stronger the most obvious target would be the forbidden scroll so she can get the shadow clone jutsu. When used with her chakra replenishing technique she could probably copy Naruto's speed training.

Of course that could end up screwing over Naruto. When he goes to steal the scroll it could be already missing.

 

Not a good idea. It takes a LOT of Chakra to cast, and if she does not have enough it will kill her outright. Plus using it to 'speed train' will likely do brain/chakra damage.

Naruto has insane Chakra reserves and a healing factor to cover those issues. Rei does not, even with the ability to refill her Chakra as she can.

 

Shadow clone just seems too recognizable to get away with. There is gonna be very little plausible deniability she can get away with there.

 

Plausible deniability is key. It would be literal suicide to do otherwise.

 

Not this foolish.

The most she's been promised is that Virulent won't directly harm her. That leaves lots of room for him to comply with the literal wording of any order she gives him, but leads to her being killed by someone else or arrested, imprisoned and otherwise making enemies for her.

I mean, take the obvious example of how we got here, where she asked a rat to get a scroll and he followed her orders in a way that could have ended up with her back in jail. Unless she can trust Virulent, then she needs to worry about him doing that on every single order she gives.

You can't have an underling involved in matters this sensitive that's your enemy. All that means is that they need to be more creative to fuck you over while remaining within the letter of the law.

 

Uhhh Rei's whole summoning idea was far more foolish. She barely survived it. She underweighted the risk of death/serious injury and paid for it.

And lets look at something, What has changed Rei's mind away from her gut instincts in the past? The one thing that has genuinely worked (at minimum for a good period of time at least) are well reasoned explanations that aren't condescending. I.E what Elder Rat was just doing. What has previously stopped Rei from doing all she can to achieve her Goals^tm. Morality.

There is nothing obviously immoral about letting Virulent join her Mischief. Elder Rat made a good enough case for letting him in. I find it pretty much certain that she (in the very near future) will eventually form a mischief with Virulent in it.

 

I agree that the Summoning Contract was extremely ill-advised. Basically, the only reasons I see Rei refusing are because this is someone else's idea and she's a control freak/rebel and possibly because nearly dying and then being tortured led to her growing more cautious. And I'm not sure about the latter, since her summons have proven hugely useful and she also got them out of the contract.

 

To to counter the idea of rei having potentially become more cautious since being tortured, let's not forget what she mouthed off to Anki, as well as the fact that she nearly killed Hinata. Don't forget her failed assault on kakashi as well.

 

Sorry for the long post I am about to make, but I read through this story in like one sitting even though I was fighting off an awful head ache and I just had to gush a little! I'll spoiler it so it doesn't clutter the thread.

Spoiler

Edit: So I've been slowly re-reading this story (the likes trickling in might have clued you in lol) and I wanted to comment on some stuff from earlier.

Firstly I love the basic premise of this SI; namely that Rei's modern Western values makes the reality of Konoha to be anathema to her. It's very nicely supported by your choosing to interpret everything from the source in the most cynical way possible! However the real kicker is that after deciding to reject the ninja system wholeheartedly Rei concludes she can only do so by embracing it with everything she has. It is patently absurd and yet makes perfect sense in context. I'm a little impressed you could set things up in such a way. Furthermore I feel that's a good way to describe a lot of Rei's actions in the story so far. She does a lot of insanely stupid shit and yet you still manage to spin it in a way that we can understand and even sympathise with. It's fun to read and get absorbed in Rei's head space!

Another thing you've done well is writing Rei's friendships. They are both heartwarming and bittersweet at the same time, since Rei often reminds us she is planning to betray them (by leaving the village) which would probably ruin everything. Or at least Rei is trying to convince us it will; Tsunade seems to have just left pretty easily. Rei probably won't be anywhere near as well regarded though due to her desire to leave ASAP.

I love that you had Rei make friends with Tenten. Her descision to befriend Neji was solely driven by the practicalities. But with Tenten she just seemed to wanna hang out with her due to lingering affection from her role in the source. It's adorable and one of the few instances of Rei behaving like s typical SI. It also is the only relationship she has (aside from Ino who is family) where she didn't expect to get anything out of it. I hope they stay in touch after they are put in different teams.

One thing that rereading has driven home for me is that Rei is stuck in a vicious cycle of self destruction. She views anything less than S-rank power as a fail state. However every time she is reminded how far she is from that end point or encounters a road block she self destructs. First when she was prevented from moving up in the academy, second when after accepting that she changed her mind and nearly suicided vis summoning jutsu and third when losing to Anko in a fight/spar/thing made her have her biggest breakdown yet. I am really happy the current chapters are dealing with a more stable Rei but I fear the next setback will see her fuck everything up again. For someone that meditates so often she isn't very Zen!

Also I have to address the fight scenes. They're really good! You seem to favour long, grueling multi chapter affairs. They can be emotionally draining but the action is on point and you have a way of sucking your readers right in. The casual use of extreme violence in the factory scene (against a child no less) was very powerful and even Rei's first spar against Neji felt truly epic (I love the bit from his POV when she mounts him and leaks killing intent). The super spar against Anko was great because it was so unexpected. The length and brutality felt like it came out of nowhere and Rei's actions combined with the Anko POV parts actually had me rooting against our protagonist. I hope she apologises to Anko one day!

Original: I gotta say I've really been enjoying this new arc so far. It is a nice change of pace from all the horrible shit Rei did as she came apart at the end of the last arc lol. You did a great job of portraying her while that was happening though. Rei's actions with Anko and Hinata were totally reprehensible and unforgiveable yet you wrote her perspective so well I understand why she did those things. I hope for everyone's sake that she is a little more rational after the timeskip however. Her mindset is (was?) destroying her and causing her a lot of unecessary problems.

I was surprised you chose to give Neji some insight into Rei's influence over Hinata so soon. I expected it to happen eventually of course but not quite yet. I also figured he'd get suspicious when watching Rei and Hinata interact. Does this mean you are planning to turn it into a major plot point in the near future? Don't answer that!

The chapter from Ino's POV was really great. Seeing inside her head was a blast. Rei's extremely well-written but is such an unreliable (though compelling) narrator that seeing things from the outside every now and then is a welcome breath of air. It is kind of awesome how wrong Ino is about a lot of things when it comes to Rei. It'll really blow her mind if she ever sees what's behind the curtain.

I thought it was really clever that you chose to give us the first glimpse about how Rei and Hinata relate a year onward through Ino. We just had A LOT of the two girls last arc so this was a great way to let other characters step forward while giving us some hints to the question on all our minds. I hope things aren't really terrible in private, because from Ino's POV they seem like BFFs (though obviously the power dynamics will always be skewed between them). I wonder how Hinata is coping with practicing "indifference" during fights? Also I love and hate that Ino is bullying Hinata because of her jealousy. It makes so much sense for her character near the start of the manga and Hinata really isn't the type to be able to fight back against that. Thinking that she has a terrible home life and school life is just awful! I have to wonder if Rei would be pleased or upset by it though. I mean it perfectly plays to her goals of making Hinata more dependant on her. She is literally the only bright spot in Hinata's life right now. But I think it'd be really heart-warming if she found out and tried to put a stop to it due to genuine affection and friendship she has developed over the last year towards Hinata. It would help redeem Rei a bit in my eyes. That and I kind of want to see Ino explode when Rei jumps in to defend Hinata from her own sister, thus choosing Hinata over Ino in some small way.

Not sure what to think of Rei becoming a jutsu thief. Seems really dangerous! Also having Virulent around will fuck her up mentally even if he doesn't fuck her over by deliberately failing a mission or incriminating her. I guess it makes a lot of sense though so I am surprised you had it planned.

Anyway in a general sense I just wanna say this story is great. You do a great job of bringing us inside a beautifully flawed MCs head and making the crazy shit she does perfectly understandable and even sympathetic a lot of the time. I think it is really great how you've written the few bonds she has as such a powerful grounding force. It is so obvious she'd be totally fucked without Ino and the others. I hope Rei finds someone she can rely on fully!

Thanks for sharing this with us! Can't believe you've been going at it for years. I look forward to seeing where you take us next!

Edit: Added a bit more behind the spoiler.

 

That was much shorter than I was expecting a "long post" to be.

 

Sorry, I posted on mobile and it was looking pretty long! Mostly though I just figured no one except maybe the author would want to see it.

 

Hey, I'm on chapter 21-22. I was deep into the narrative, but ruined it for myself because as soon as Virulent came up my brain automatically started doing the "MY LEG!" gag from spongebob.

Just felt I should share that.

 

Has there been any marriage talk I figured some of the clans would ask for rei , I think someone mentioned an idea about an omake in which the uchiha try to match her with itachi, speaking of which what do you think would've happened if she was born into the uchiha would've she survived the massacre

 

She's what, 9? Eleven?
And we know that her father doesn't want her to grow up too fast.

 

It would probably make more sense to try and go for someone internal to the clan or maybe someone from the nara or akimichi clan. Really though, I doubt the clan would interfere too much with most men she might pick (as long as its something not crazy like Neji Hyuuga).

However, she isn't even a genin right now. The Yamanaka as a whole and Inoichi especially do seem to not want to rush these types of things.

 

This would make sense in a Western culture.

The setting however is not a western culture. Arranged marriages are, for too many, an all too common fact of life. The only reason they would not have set up or arranged a marriage is the hope of waiting a bit to get a 'better offer' that benefits the clan. This would be part of being a clan heir or heiress in such a society.

That said, it's also true that they don't want to force her into an unhappy marriage, but all that means in truth is them looking around to see who she would get along with and trust and who might be worth the price and effort.

Amusingly enough at this time, Neji of all people is likely on that very list for potential future husbands for Rei when the clan feels it's time to get down to business and actually arrange said marriage.

 

The issue here is that even in traditional cultures, child marriages aren't the norm. You tend to wait untill at least after puberty to really look for a husband/wife for your child. Generally the man would be older than women, but the women wouldnt generally be eleven.

And also, long engagements were not the norm. You generally negotiate not that long before you want to marry (which shouldnt be that surprising).

Furthermore, Neji is most definitely not on the list. It would be insult for the hyuuga to propose marrying someone so low in their hierachy to her. Only way Neji and Rei are getting married is if they run off together (which isnt impossible). Note: Neji himself notes his social status here

Of course, we also have to remember that Konoha is in an unusual position. Women are more liberated than normal because Kunoichi are extremely capable, liberating them somewhat from traditional gender norms. Its however obviously not perfect. While the village is much more egalitarian than the rest of society, they are still embedded in a far more sexist world than our world. In adddition, Kunoichi suffer a motherhood penalty that Shinobi don;t due to unequal bearing of the costs of having children, thus they are less representated in higher ranks than shinobi, and probably seen as less capable than they actually are capable of becoming. Furthermore, this equality is only due to the fact that they are capable of being powerful weapons for use by the military establishment.

 

Not in Japan, not anymore. https://web-japan.org/trends98/honbun/ntj980729.html

 

While Konoha is more "modern" than most of the country, lets not forget that it is embedded in feudal system (and are the enforcers of the system). Its not obvious what institutions will resemble more of feudal japan, and which ones will resemble more of modern japan.

 

Feudal, but women have a great deal more power, and freedom. Also, not entirely middle aged, as they have computers, television, and cinema. So we can expect far more in the way of womens liberation, which means less arranged marriage.

 

This looks like its implying a feudal system, though in practice thanks to the power of the Ninja, I wouldnt be surprised if the Elemental Nations were essentially a slave society.

Its not an unsurprising thing outcome based off of chakra. Ninjas have to devote large portions of their time to training, and ninja stuff, rather than learning how to govern, get crops, manage stuff. So they get the nobility to do manage it for them, and share the rents they accumulate with them. The Nobility have no incentive to treat the serfs who do the work well because they have no fear of peasant rebellions thanks to ninjas. Thus they can brutalize the peasantry as much and as efficiently as possible and essentially obtain maximum effort and productivity from every serf.

The sad thing about this system is that its basically really difficult to change, even assuming technological change. Ninja's and Nobility have a good thing going on and have all the power, and little incentive to change the system. The Serfs who do the actual work and would love to change things dont have to power to do so.

In real life, feudalism transformed into our capitalist society for various historical reasons, but I see little reason why it should here. (I'm gonna simplify things a bit here) One of the necessary factors was that in western europe, serfs essentially gained more power and became free and more powerful workers because of the great changes that occured thanks to Black Plague. However, in eastern europe, the same Black Plague happened and overall, the landlords won, and repression grew worse.

In a world with ninja its just plain hard to imagine the commoners gaining at the expense of the nobility.

Sidenote: I doubt that peasants in the Elemental Nations have the same "privileges" a serf has, and suspect that in general most are essentially slaves. Though its up to Sixperfections exactly what the details and institutions of the elemental actually are like.

Edit: this is sorta mostly complete speculation by me. It doesn't quite fit with canon naruto, which makes sense because kishimoto is a mangaka not a historian. It's mostly based off of what I'd imagine the society to actually look like if you apply a bit of realism.

Canon naruto is sorta a confusing mess.

 

I doubt it's as clear-cut as that. For one, slavery-based economy is notoriously inefficient, and ninja require robust industry and trade - even their upkeep is no joke (any mundane medieval military would've commited group suicide out of outrage upon hearing of the amount of disposable high-quality metal tools ninjas routinely expend), to say nothing of the competition between nations pressuring them to seek advantages.

Then, in some nations (Konoha at least, and likely Kumo) the village is interested in having as many healthy, educated middle-class citizens as possible, because they've adopted the practice of recruiting low-level troops from civillian populace.

Also, given the realities of the setting, peasant rebellions are less likely to look as a crowd with pitchforks and more as secretly looking for/gathering means to hire chakra users to get rid of the feudal. Tazuna's canon journey is a good example in principle, even if the execution was retarded. Not to mention that a feudal being wasteful and wretched eventually paints a big "acceptable target, no one will care if someone kills me and takes my stuff" sign on their back, and it can be offset by influence and security only for so long before someone with enough ability is tempted or happens to have a use for such an opportunity.

 

I find it odd that the Yamanaka would allow their clan heir to marry into another clan, especially a prodigy that surpasses any other they've had. I find it likewise unlikely that a clan with a kekkai genkai would allow a member to marry into a rival clan. Also wouldn't be surprised to find Clans follow eugenics programs to maintain and improve beneficial traits. Family loyalty would go far in normalising such levels of control.

 

Slavery unfortunately was efficient. You can look to the american case, and see that slaves were as an efficient investment as any other in the time period. In fact, when the slave were freed, they were less productive than doing their jobs as slaves. Ultimately this is a good thing since because they were only able to get that surplus through torture and brutality. (Fogel And Entermann are right on the productivity side (though they werent even the first economic historians to argue this), though they are wrong on most other things slavery. Slavery was Brutal!!!)

Contrast this with when Russian Serfs were freed. They immediatly started working harder and GDP grew quite a bit as a result of Serf emancipation. (This is a nice informal summary of what happened right here, Actual academic article right here)

The practice of recruiting civilians only occurs for those in the Village, not from the rest of the country. So that doesnt really say much about how things are in the rest of the world.

I wouldn't be surprised if there was a free class of people as well in addition to serfs because historically, that is how it has been.

From an institutional POV, I again have to ask, why would the ninja want to disrupt the status quo. They benefit pretty sweetly from the arrangement. They essentially are given much of the surplus that is created. I can see a missing ninja maybe agreeing, but thats different. Ninja have to agree with the mission to do it.

Tazuna's Canon story unfortunately doesn't even make much sense under pretty much any environment, so I do struggle to explain it.

 

Yeah they definitely won't but that doesn't mean that the other clans won't ask at the least I can see the uchiha and the hyuga being arrogant enough to believe it would be an honor or some other nonsense especially when she have a sister among the ino-shiki-cho

 

It's entirely possible that you triple posted that.

 

You kinda triple posted that...

The Uchiha are pretty much dead and gone, Sasuke's a year from graduation. Likewise, Hiashi has enough respect for her to request she teach his daughter, doesn't seem to fit with the idea that a Yamanaka heir is so lesser as to think she'd be honoured to marry into his clan. If the two clans get close enough I could possibly see him approving of a Hyuuga marrying into the Yamanaka. I think it'd depend on the Byakugan being a weak enough trait to be lost after a single generation. I can imagine them accepting her kids obtaining it, with the likelihood of one marrying back into the Hyuuga, to keep the tie strong, but not if it would lead to another clan with growing access to their doujutsu.