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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    On the bright side, you now have an alibi for when Ambush Bug comes back.
     
  2. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    At this point Xalitan Xor might be the first Orange Honour Guard Lantern, he's really taking the lessons taught to him, and his values, personality and character growth makes him a great Orange Lantern right now.
     
  3. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    What was it that Paul once said about fearing the anger of a righteous man?

    I think he's cast an acolyte in the same mold as himself.

    Also, I kinda' wanna' say that him breaking Paul's brand should at least nominate him for Honor Guard material. That'd be a hell of a black eye for this world.
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2019
  4. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    *sniffs, dabs a tear from his natural eye* s..so proud...
    OL finally has a t..true Acolyte- a f..follower who BELIEVES in his core tennets, his worldview - he's c..come so far...
     
  5. Vlad

    Vlad I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    A system that doesn't have the ability to deal with bad actors is a bad system.

    A system is easier to change than people are.
     
  6. NeoDarklight

    NeoDarklight The Final Observer

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    I love how Xor has become filled with the Orange Light, but not consumed by it. Every word, every sentence is filled with Orange, but the periods and quotation marks aren’t. He knows exactly what he wants, and he is filled with the desire to accomplish exactly what he wants without going overboard.

    And I know other people have said it before, but I’ll say it again- Xalitan Xor has seen one of the horrors of the universe. And now he is rejoicing, for when he is through, there will be one less.
     
  7. WaleXdraK

    WaleXdraK Not too sore, are you?

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    I think Xor is going to end up as the first Orange Lantern Honor Guard, he got a pretty nice character development and he is one of the OL personally taught by Paul.
     
  8. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    Probably that the native government had changed enough factors since the initial assessment that the math on "is what they are doing to the War Hounds de facto slavery" had changed from "not quite" to "it appears so," and that an intervention was in order.
     
  9. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    editions

    Extra space before closing quote.

    Terminan

    to wit

    Usually Strait, singular.

    Usually flashbang, one word.

    Extra space before closing quote.

    soft-pedaling (I could have sworn I submitted this as a correction before and it was accepted; maybe it missed getting into the story-only version?)

    Dead link.

    pair of guns

    Extra closing quote.

    Capitalize first letter.

    Medphyll

    Capitalize first letter.

    Holy carp. o_O

    Does everyone remember how hard it was for Paul to remove the first brand he applied? And here Xor goes and breaks a brand applied by the most experienced Orange Lantern there is without so much as hesitating.

    This guy's more powerful than he appears.
     
  10. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    I think that was Paul without his ring that tried and failed... While he was also a little reluctant to use orange light after going Paulophidian... When he got the ring he got the brand off quite easily.

    It was the guardians that said they couldn't remove the brand without causing damage to the soul of Martian Man hunter.
     
  11. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    Paul tried to remove the brand without his ring, but he didn't fail, he succeeded:

    That was his first time trying to remove a brand, and it doesn't seem like it was hard at all.
     
  12. jaelin910

    jaelin910 habitual lurker

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    Was doing some rereading and spotted this
     
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  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  14. Yog

    Yog Know what you're doing yet?

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    So, on rereading, I got a couple of questions:
    1) One of the things Sephtian was including in "wing transplant" plan preparations was "dealing with a simultaneous Hell and Silver City attack". Was any of the preparation used in the aftermath or during the actual attack?
    2) What happened to the Witch-Hunters from Klarion's world? Did they just leave in the end?
    3) Did Paul go back for Har Zod's mental imprint and for kryptonian salvage? Or was it left where it was?
    4) How come Canis, or, for that matter, Sally Sonic haven't received an indigo ring yet? Both of them completely lack compassion after all, and are on Earth, which is a hotbed attracting weird stuff, including power rings.
    5) Speaking of, did Paul just shrug and move on with Sally, or has she been referred to Atlantis laboratories, and the secret of her immortality is being discovered right now?
    5.5) Speaking further of, are there porn parodies on Orange Lantern's adventures out there in the internet-16?
    6) Given that Dox can generate Boom Tubes with his power ring, how come Paul doesn't use the technique?
     
  15. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Not really. The assumption was that it would be a focused attack, not a world-spanning one.
    Yes.
    Yes, and it's in orbit around Ater Clementia. I'm fairly sure that was covered in the story.
    The SI doesn't know, and hasn't really thought about why specific individuals haven't gotten rings.
    She hasn't -to his knowledge- done anything to warrant his intervention.
    Not many. They're too FX heavy.
    Because it's really complicated and he hasn't really needed it.
     
  16. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    It was mentioned being moved around Ater Clementia (when Lois freaked TF out), but they were vague on where it was going to actually stay in both the short and long term.
     
  17. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Grayven porn parodies on the other hand...
     
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  18. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    Porn Parodies of OL on the internet would be really easy to do if you had a Martian actor and some orange glow paint. He can fly, and he has telekinesis. You can just paint him and objects he interacts with Orange, which can even be done in post.
     
  19. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Is there a With This Ring subreddit?

    There have to be at least some...

    Or do a WTR Jump through Jumpchain as a Martian.
    With This Ring

    Universal Drawbacks
    • +100 The Long Road
    • +100 Limited Warranty
    • +200 One and Done
    • +300 No Insurance
    Local Drawbacks
    • +300 Supplementary Reading
    • +100 Nameless
    • +100 The Cake Man
    • +0 Kryptonite [Fire]

    Timeline: Paragon
    Location: Canada
    Origins: Mage
    Race: Martian

    Perks
    • 600 Race: Martian
    • 100 Magical Tradition [Maltusian]
    • 200 Bandwidth and Wavelength [Hope]
    • 200 Expanded Metaphysique [Level 5]
    • 300 Alchemy
    • 600 Enlightenment [Hope]
    Powers
    • 000 Induce Emotion [Hope]
    • 000 Brick
    • 000 Psychic
    • 000 True Shapeshifting
    Items
    • 200 Power Ring [Blue]
     
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  20. NeoDarklight

    NeoDarklight The Final Observer

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    I keep seeing the term, but never receive a clear explanation. The hell is a jumpchain, and the hell is a jump in that context?
     
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  21. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    I'll answer in PM to not get too off topic. For others, the answer is googlable.
     
  22. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    I was talking about an in-universe porn parody. Similar to how people do porn parodies of triple A movies. Remember, they have / had that one Martian porn star
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2019
  23. Yog

    Yog Know what you're doing yet?

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    She is suffering from an ongoing effect of unknown nature that cuts her connection to certain parts of emotional spectrum to the point where direct brain stimulation can't produce certain emotions. Quite apart from how this makes her a victim of a horrific attack through seemingly no fault of her own (something Paul always tried to correct when confronted with directly), this means that there's someone or something out there that can do "you may not use our light" technique for half an emotional spectrum at once, and do so as an ongoing persistent effect. This is something worthy of investigation, wouldn't you think?
    I missed it then, my apologies.
     
  24. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    More interesting - being blocked off from the black light would give her immortality, though more likely she’s like one of the zombies in the original comics
     
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  25. Threadmarks: Realigned (supplementary, Renegade option)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    6th February
    17:18 GMT -1


    Mr Hyde narrows his eyes slightly, most likely trying to puzzle out my thinking. "Not that I mind getting some shore leave, but I'd like an explanation for the sudden change of plan."

    Since he's now openly on the New Light's side, we can have these meetings in somewhat more civilised locations. At the moment we're sitting in a private drawing room in an upper class Venturian restaurant, a small selection of drinks and pastries on the table between us. Fashion being what it is, commonplace surface world drinks like 'Orangina' share shelf space with quality seaweed teas and the juice of engineered Atlantean sea fruits.

    "An oversight on my part." I shrug. "While our ability to overthrow inefficient governments is -in no small part thanks to you and yours- really quite good, we're having a bit of a bottleneck with the 'installing replacements' part of the plan. Destruction is.. always easier than creation. The fields of engineering and administration just don't seem to attract the same superlative individuals as.. criminality, mercenary work or vigilantism. We're working on it, but it's going to be… Six months to a year before we have need of your services in that field again."

    Mr Hyde relaxes slightly, nodding. "You sure you don't have any missions for me? I've worked on training militia troops before."

    I nod. "I'd considered that, but the fact is that you're still too… 'Hot' for a government that wishes to seem legitimate to deal with. And frankly, keeping the new rulers dependent on us for defence is probably better than empowering them to do it themselves. In the short term, anyway."

    "Those grey things?"

    "The genomorphs don't precisely work for me. I'm simply one of their clients. But the senior g-goblins and the Light have a good working relationship. I'm not one to.. wax lyrical about the wonders of free market security, but compared to third world police services a race of networked telepaths are remarkably effective."

    Having practised extensively during the rebuilding of Tamaran, the current model of g-goblin controllers are quite skilled both at directing their g-troll brethren in civil engineering and their g-elf kindred at criminal apprehension. And with a far lower mortality rate than those countries used to have.

    He semi-smiles. "They're squeezing people like me out of the market."

    "Mister Hyde, you have no need to worry. We will always have a use for your services. But there is a reason beyond your relationship with Kaldur that I want you legitimised. Mercenaries are not good for civilisation. We will have to transition you to a new role eventually." He nods. "Oh, and good work with that hostage rescue."

    "I got your thank you note. And your cheque. Not to do myself down, but I think you overpaid me. They were untrained thugs."

    "They were enemies of civilisation. But more to the point, I like having people on the payroll whom I can trust to take the initiative in sensible ways. And you seem like the sort of fellow to respond well to financial incentives."

    In a slightly more aggressive anti-piracy act than I originally planned for, Mr Hyde's people pursued a group of kidnappers several miles inland and liberated some aid workers and a journalist. Competent subordinates are such a treasure.

    "So: put my feet up until I see an opportunity to play hero?"

    "'Playing hero' would be too obvious. Just make it clear that you're giving discounts for pro-social work. I'll cover it." He nods. "As things stand, you've basically killed off surface world interest in arresting you."

    His eyes dip momentarily. "But Orin isn't moving."

    "You've pissed off Atlantis something fierce, Mister Hyde. I think we're going to need to find something special that you can do for them before he'll go for it. I can't think of anything off the top of my head, but I'll keep an eye out."

    "We could set something up."

    I shake my head. "Far too high a chance of it being discovered. And it only takes one such incident for everything we've done to come under suspicion. Orin doesn't like you, but he certainly isn't prioritising your capture. We aren't in any rush. Though if you hear about anything-."

    "Think a list of Ocean Master's agents would do it?"

    Hmm.

    "It might. May I ask why you didn't volunteer that sooner?"

    "Thought it might come in handy. But if I'm not going to be operating in Poseidonis again, it's no use to me."

    Sounds plausible. And the two of them had been coordinating for some time… Well, as my old biology teacher used to say, 'it's your own time you're wasting'.

    "I can communicate any information which you wish to share to King Orin. I can also arrange to make Venturian soldiers available if he needs any additional force on hand to make the arrest attempts successful."

    Mr Hyde looks away for a moment, turning his attention to the window and its excellent view of the city. "Mm. Venturia."

    I raise my eyebrows. "Has there been a problem? Some friction between your people and the Venturians?"

    "No, they've been perfectly… Hospitable. It's Queen Clea's behaviour that bothers me."

    "Heck, Mister Hyde. I'm basically the Light's Human Resources guy. If there's some sort of personnel problem, let me know and I'll fix it. What's she been up to?"

    "She's been... Undermining me. Trying to distract me during our discussions. I'm not sure why, but I'm concerned that she may decide that her interests and those of the Light do not coincide."

    Be a pretty good trick if it were true… And from the sounds of it Mr Hyde hasn't quite managed to free himself of that 'grand supervillain alliance' nonsense. "Could you be a little more specific? Is she ridiculing your plans? Issuing orders to your troops?"

    "She's coming on to me."



    His face remains calm, but I can feel how uncomfortable he is telling me that. Big tough male supervillain making a sexual harassment complaint. But, if she's making him uncomfortable…

    "As a result of her rejuvenation process, Queen Clea is currently going through a reverse menopause. A predictable result of this is a substantially increased libido. You're an attractive single man with the sort of character she respects, and given your own history it doesn't seem unreasonable for her to assume that blonde Atlantean women are your thing. Now, if you want me to tell her to stick an icepack on it-."

    He frowns. "You think her interest is genuine?"

    "I'd need to actually ask her, but it's a distinct possibility." I shrug. "Long or short term, I can't say. Or she could just be flirting."

    His frown deepens, his gaze growing distant. "Huh."

    "So do you want me to intervene, or should I leave you to it?"

    "You didn't set this up, did you?"

    I let out a bark of laughter. "Ah, no. I'm nothing like that subtle. Last time I tried setting two colleagues of mine-."

    BANG!

    We're both on our feet, him with missiles targeted and me with daiklave in hand as-.

    I relax as Adom comes through.

    "Grayven. Manta."

    "Adom. Is there a problem?"

    "The auguries say that Oggar has taken note of Circe's restoration, and with Mordru dead there is nothing to prevent his return. Circe believes that we can lure him into a location of our choosing, but I no longer have the Wizard's support. I am not certain that I can defeat him alone."

    "And with Circe?"

    "She is eager to face him, but she has yet to regain her full strength. I am.. reluctant to risk her."

    "Hmhnmhaha! Adom, I doubt that she'll let you stop her. But." I walk over to him and take the sheath containing the Sword of the Fallen off my harness. "You can borrow this. That should even things up a little." Empower the Champion!

    He pulls the Sword a short way out of the scabbard, then nods at me. "Thank you. You do not intend to participate directly?"

    I shrug. "I will if I need to. But… By Apokoliptian standards, this is a perfect date for you and Circe and I'd be a heel to involve myself."

    Adom frowns faintly. "Da.. te..? I…"

    "She wasn't exactly being subtle, Adom. Hunky super powered god-king like you seems to be just her type."

    "That…" He steps back towards the boom tube. "I will.. consider your words."

    He steps through, and the tube shuts down.

    I turn back to Mr Hyde.

    "When I set something up, it looks like that."
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2019
  26. Razorfloss

    Razorfloss I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Huh now that I think about it they will actually make a good couple plus Circe has experience in being a queen and could help him rule. I'm liking this more and more.
     
  27. hance1986

    hance1986 A pitiful excuse for a man.

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    ' agents '

    On a side note, Amazon's The Boys adaptation is amazing. Dropping that since you have a Paul in that universe.
     
  28. zerofarad

    zerofarad Know what you're doing yet?

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    lyrical
     
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  29. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    As a Veteran of Planetside 2, and a former world of tanks/Warships recruiter, Renpaul is absolutely right- competent subordinates are worth their volume in Nth metal!
     
  30. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    That should be a period after the word myself, not a comma.
     
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