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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I must read this.
    Yeah, but what goes on in his head gets weird sometimes. Even when he's not high on cactus juice.
     
  2. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Who is Leonid again?
     
  3. Wheenesss

    Wheenesss Versed in the lewd.

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    When did Linda/Noriel join the Team? Last I checked weren’t they being shipped off to prison for what Linda did or am I remembering wrong?
     
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  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    This fellow.
    Embers. It goes a lot deeper into Avatar metaphysics than canon Avatar. I particularly like the explanation of why Air Nomads were so unpopular.

    Oh, and I apologise to whoever it was who asked for an updated team list. I'll try to remember to post it this evening.

    Edit: Also, the fellow(ess) who does my spagging on SB has another omake.
     
  5. SirKaid

    SirKaid Know what you're doing yet?

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    Given that they're all speaking in Atlantian Greek (apart from OL, but he's using his ring to real time translate) it's entirely possible that she used the pronunciation of the goddess when referring to the company.

    I mean, the company is clearly named after Nike, after all, so it wouldn't even be wrong strictly speaking.
     
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  6. hkim

    hkim Know what you're doing yet?

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    For the record, I prefer Grayven to Paul, but only slightly - they're different variations on a theme we're all here for after all. Mr. Zoat, please write more of both, and if you do a crossover, I'm sure it'll be hilarious.
     
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  7. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I know it was a big risk, and with the Mouse's near all seeing eye, coupled with his cash allowing his mouth to devour all that he wishes, I could be courting disaster. But damn it, I had to take that chance.
     
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  8. Imperator Pax

    Imperator Pax Talon Master

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    In all honesty, OL for the last several arcs has been boring me.

    Grayven really is vastly more interesting. Don't get me wrong the OL-Hades interaction is great, and its probably the high point of the last several bits. The whole Angel Invasion plot line was just kind of the low point even if it obviously facilitated other cooler things

    also Melinoe is best girl...
     
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  9. jonasquinn

    jonasquinn I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I want to make it clear that I'm not decrying people that prefer Grayven to Paul, you are perfectly entitled to your own opinion and it is just as valid as my own, it's just that I personally am far more invested in Paul's storyline than Grayvens and would be annoyed by having a scenario that I've been looking forward to hijacked by a character that I have far less investment in
     
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  10. Siskulous

    Siskulous Know what you're doing yet?

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    Nah. If he were around whatever was causing the teen suicides would already be toast. Or, you know, wolf food.

    I think it's more than a little arrogant to say "no one" cares about Grayven just because YOU don't care about Grayven. Not to mention the fact that the statement is very demonstrably incorrect. Granted, Grayven's less popular than ParaPaul, but he's still fairly popular in his own right. As several other people have mentioned, ParaPaul is getting a bit boring lately. At this point Graven is a far more interesting character.

    That said, I do agree with you that swapping them out would be.....well, I'm not gonna say a mistake because I think it's possible to do it well, but it would be incredibly difficult to not screw up.
     
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  11. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    If it's arrogant for me to say no one cares about Grayven, then isn't it arrogant to definitively state that he is a far more interesting character? As is That ParaPaul is getting boring, when...not only am I NOT bored by Para-Paul, I'm actively annoyed when Grayven sticks his big, stupid gray face in, and I have to wait one, or more, days to get back to the actual story.

    Also, as I stated in the very next sentence "Alright, to be more specific, I don't care about Grayven in the slightest."

    First sentence, hyperbole. Second sentence, moving to honest personal statement.

    The fact that no one is apparently capable of noticing that is puzzling to me given all the "I care about Grayven" replies.
     
  12. Gilhelmi

    Gilhelmi Know what you're doing yet?

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    I just learned today that the Blue Lantern Hope Corgi exists and spent the last 20 minutes searching for pictures of the adorable tramp.

    I can't wait for Ganthet to form the actual corp. Hopefully (pun intended) under better circumstances as the other Guardians see the positives of the other colors of Light.

    I want Lantern Alan Scott to have the most loyal companion ever.
     
  13. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I believe Hope Corgi is non-canon?

    But...before that gets you down. May I offer you a freshly baked potato?

    [​IMG]
     
  14. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    SV*

    Well even the people who find paul boring probably still read him and leave likes.
    and I think a Certain magical index would make a better example.

    Unlikely since I'm pretty sure gods require actual belief but I may be wrong
     
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  15. Gilhelmi

    Gilhelmi Know what you're doing yet?

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    Canon? If I cared about Canon, I would not get so excited about this story. Canon is a good starting place, but we have gone far beyond that now.

    Also, decided to keep the picture instead of "cleaning up" the quote. Because the more pictures of puppers, the better life is.
     
  16. Threadmarks: Sprited Away (part 9)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    18th February
    09:59 GMT -6


    Ah, High School.

    I remember Willingdon Community School… Well, I remember it. But it's just not the same as the American experience. For one thing, it stops two years earlier, which skews the demographics. Two years less of young adults, all going to Park or ECAT. No student parking, because it wasn't worth it for a handful of sixteen year olds with provisional licences. Or perhaps they just didn't want to dig up the playing fields. I haven't bothered to see if it exists here.

    From where I'm standing I can see three posters advertising the Samaritans.

    Hm.

    "Linda, I didn't ever check. Did you actually graduate?"

    "Yes, with good grades in science and history."

    "History?"

    "Buzz liked to talk about his life. It made the subject more interesting. L-. I am intelligent, but I did not apply myself to things which I found uninteresting."

    "As long as you end up doing what you want, hey?"

    "It is an issue on which I agree with my former self. I have no more interest in humans than she had in mathematics."

    "Fair enough. What does interest you?"

    "Burning. I like fire."

    "Prime superhero material there."

    "Zauriel believes that I need to become more empathic."

    "I have a surprising amount of respect for Zauriel. And if you're stuck here, learning to do that might help. Or have you considered studying pyrotechnics?"

    "You are the last person I want to talk to about the subject."

    "Sure, I don't know much about pyrotechnics-."

    Garth's tattoos stops glowing, and he shakes his head. "There's no obvious magic residue in the area around the school. That doesn't mean that someone couldn't walk up to a student and curse them, but it isn't a spell on the school."

    Ring, scan.

    Compliance.

    No wards, which is nice. Or at least none that are so unsubtle as to show up as blank areas. As far as I can tell… It's just a school.

    "Nothing on empathic vision, nothing much on scans."

    "Maybe we need to be here during the week."

    "Maybe."

    "We could check teachers for magic paraphernalia, but given the length of time this has been going on, I doubt that any of them is an undercover magician."

    "If they were extending their lives through murder then the deaths couldn't be made to look like suicide. Not this many for this long, anyway."

    "My teachers at the Conservatory of Sorcery didn't go into that side of magic in any detail."

    "Not a lot of need in Atlantis, where it would be virtually impossible to get away with without being spotted. Maybe they'll add a course when Atlantean police start getting sent on detached duty to police forces all over the world. You were… Purely studying battle magic, weren't you?"

    "My study curriculum has certainly become broader since coming to the surface. Where should we go next?"

    "Until Beryl's found something to narrow our search, I think studying the remains of the victims is our next step. If we don't find anything, we can formally request that the mayor allow a full thaumic study of the town."

    Garth looks dubious. "Unless the spell was very strong, I don't think I'll be able to detect it."

    "We could always ask the furies about it."

    "That's outside my-." / "No we could not."

    Garth is a little taken aback by Linda's vehemence. I'm not all that sure where it comes from, either. I'd have thought that she'd be fine with massive violence being meted out to the deserving. From what she said, I don't think that she's quite that empathic towards us humans.

    "Would you care to elaborate?"

    "Summoning the furies requires materials which I hope that you would be unwilling to assemble, and they are inclined to strike out against all of those they consider 'guilty'. Alecto punishes moral crimes."

    "'But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'"

    "Jesus would have counselled the lustful party to reflect upon their actions and modify their conduct. He would not violently castrate them and parade their severed genitals around the town."

    "I said 'consult', but alright. If you're sure that they can't be persuaded to curb their enthusiasm, we'll leave that option until last." I begin striding northwards, in the direction of the closest cemetery. "Graveyard's this way."

    Garth and Linda follow me, Garth looking thoughtful.

    "Wouldn't a fresh body be better?"

    "Yes, but the suicide rate here is 'elevated'. It's not a daily occurrence. And if we want access to the mortuary then we'll have to reveal what we're doing and why, which will both scare people and cause them to assume that we're going to fix their problem when it's quite possible that we can't. Whereas at this time of day a graveyard should be relatively empty and allow us to access to the corpse without anyone being any the wiser."

    "When was the most recent suicide?"

    "Two weeks ago."

    "I don't know surface world funeral traditions or preservation techniques, but won't the body be somewhat decayed?"

    "Yes, but my rings know how human remains decay. And I'm mostly looking for exotic influences anyway. The pathology report is fairly informative."

    Linda's eyes narrow slightly. "We do not have permission to exhume the body."

    "We don't need to." Oh. I look at Garth. "You don't, do you?"

    "A specialist would, for a detailed analysis. But for what I can do, a few metres away is fine."

    "Good show. And if we don't find anything out, I've plotted a route through the town which will take us through the most popular suicide spots and the places where the suicides are buried."

    "Paul, I know that you've got a lot of contacts in the surface world magic community. Have you considered asking a necromancer?"

    I shake my head.

    "Majority monotheistic community. Summoning back people who went to hell… Doesn’t go well."
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2019
  17. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Oh Paul, all grown up and teaching the youngins' about not bringing back the Damned.

    <3
     
  18. DeathlessProficiency

    DeathlessProficiency Know what you're doing yet?

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    Which we know because you tried to do that for your girllllllfriend because you’re a weeeeeirdo
     
  19. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Are they going to kick themselves when it's revealed that a telepath was behind it and they never even considered it?
    Hopefully after this they'll learn to widen their expectations and not just assume that if they don't know what it is, and confirmed (or think it is confirmed) to not be an alien or supervillain, it must be magic.
     
  20. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    access to a corpse? access to corpses?
     
  21. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    Examining the body would help. Other than that, telepathy is bound to either be magical or detectable by ring scan.
     
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  22. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Likely not, since the local towns aren't as large.

    Seriously?

    I know that feel...

    Eh, as long as you keep it away from things like buildings, vehicles, people...

    Probably too much safety focus for her to enjoy...

    Not in theory, anyway. Plenty of practical experience with things blowing up.

    Doesn't rule out more subtle workings, but Garth would have noticed the energy usage.

    You never know. Consider the mission that led to Noriel's debut.

    'Certainly become broader.' That's one way of putting it.

    No. NO. Nopenowaynadanothappening. When is it ever a good idea to summon spirits of vengeance.

    Please do. Seriously, tell him why this is a bad idea.

    See? Do you want a massacre?

    Not likely to have a fresh suicide on the morgue table...

    Not too long, but still nasty.

    Power ring. No earthmoving required.

    Ugh, this is gonna be pleasant.

    Voice of personal experience, OL. Admittedly, some of the stuff you went through was because of 'trapped' souls. Still, the Silver City doesn't play nice with the post-mortem investigator.

    Interesting that they've just up and decided 'It must be magical in origin.' I understand, Occam's Razor, but still, check every possibility. Then again, there's only one real telepath on the Team, isn't there?
     
  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  24. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    In the end it turns out the people here are just assholes :D
     
  25. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Speaking of Zauriel, wasn't he supposed to be hanging out with OL around now? That would be a hell of a fun few arcs.
     
  26. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    You know, I'm kind of hoping that this is all a Sheeda plot to John Connor important people out of history for their attempted takeover in a few years.

    Maybe this town actually has a higher than average number of meta-humans and the Sheeda are killing them off to prevent a rise in contemporary heroic defenders?

    Mostly I just want to see Paul go all Mr. Crocker about the Fairies! invading and people's faces when he starts talking like a madman (again), but is completely serious.
     
  27. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    I hope we eventually see a chapter where Paul makes up, or makes neutral with Zeus. Dude wants to spend his afterlife in the fields, hanging around Hades' court, or getting back up out and about. He won't be able to do that if Zeus decides that a stronger punishment is necessary.
     
  28. Aeess

    Aeess I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Kinda hard to do, since Paul isn't even a little bit sorry and Zeus would see right through any apology that isn't sincere.
     
  29. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Mr Para-paul while I'm fairly sure you could kill/contain the furies It's probably best not to poke that bear.
     
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  30. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    No. It would be hard to apologise for taking the actions he's taken given that he's happy he took them. It would not be hard to apologise for not taking his actions in a wiser method, and for not thinking things through, and for insulting the gods. Insulting the gods, that right there breaks one of the few rules of the ancient greek religion. He will eventually be judged on it.

    Talking through what he's actually sorry about, and asking Zeus for a suitable penance, that he can achieve while alive, instead of waiting until he's dead and potentially completely subject to Zeus's wrath, is something entirely different. I agree that lying would be stupid. But any good politician knows how to apologise without accepting any of the blame.

    "I grew up in a society where what I did was encouraged, and did not stop to think about how that society, and the religion I chose are at odds here. I'm sorry that you felt that.. ,
    "As the God of Honour, and Justice, the Keeper of Oaths, I have no doubt you are able see how your actions were hurting your sister.. "
    et cetera. There're so many ways a good writer could work it without having him be disingenuous.

    The Labours of Pavlos would be an awesome episode. Furthering the spread of Hellenism, building temples to the major 12, anything really. It's just a shame to see a plot line waving in the wind, and not yet tied back into the story. Especially when the greek stuff here is so damned interesting. It looks like Zoat has had Hades hint towards his being judged in the future, with Paul being Mr Oblivious. So I know it'll happen, eventually. I just really wanna see it. I wanna I wanna I wanna.
     
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2019
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