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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. CTrees

    CTrees Chasing the ring

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    I didn't think he was behind this silliness. I just remembered him when Grayven was thinking about the Apokalyptians on Earth, since again, he was in Young Justice. Feels like any version of Paul would at least take note of G Gordon Godfrey, but... I started reading this story while it was on Spacebattles, which is definitely long enough that I could have forgotten about him being handled.
     
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  2. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Sleazes beating honestly reminded of those time traveling aliens from Rick and Morty when they beat up Einstein.

    ''Don't fuck with the law'':D

    The paragon only remembers Godfrey from the JL cartoon where he was human.
     
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  3. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    In comic canon he can flat out control people. In this... Probably the latter.
    Probably.
    Oh, Sleez is going to be in no state to do anything idiotic after this.
     
  4. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    He's getting deported back to Apokolips isn't he? Probably while in a coma too. Good riddance.

    A nice little interlude; either the next is back to Overgirl, or just one last chapter seeing the aftermath of Sleez' beating.

    When Overgirl is properly introduced I strongly suspect that Paul will have to stop her and Rocket from starting something. When Overgirl then makes remarks about her country's conquering of both Atlantis and Mars, things will most likely get even more awkward. I really can't wait for that series of conversations to happen.
     
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  5. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Mars may not have a population anymore not because of the Nazis but because of that H'ronmeer curse, or civil war over the race thing the martians have, the nazis probably just colonized a non inhabited world with only the martian that joined the New Reichsmen being left. The Martian appears to be white, but i don't know if that is because he is a white martian, or maybe a red or green one that took on a white skin tone to better fit in
    Though yeah her and Rocket interacting would be something to see, as well finding out that the leader of the Team is black and the interactions between Overgirl, a racist, and M'gann someone who belongs to a group that suffered racism for thousands of years, though hopefully getting better seeing as Zoat left a small snippet that J'emm and the other reds are passing laws to give more rights to the whites, would be interesting.

    Does Overgirl even know about Arnus and his fight with Karl?

    Is the Cooperative in your story like the one in the comics, that being a post scarcity society that has the ability to give people superpowers?
    Are Icons powers natural to his species or is it something the ship gave him either accidently or to help him survive on a alien world?
     
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  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Are you going to do a future storyline about the thanagarians and their interest in earths gods?
     
  7. Steelplaza

    Steelplaza Custom Title

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    I'm not sure how actually true this is in most continuities. Darkseid is powerful, but is he really "beat everybody else" powerful? There have been plenty of occasions where someone (usually Superman or someone similarly powerful) manages to lay hands on him and demonstrate he can at least bleed like anyone else.

    However, I'm sure it's what Darkseid wants everyone to believe is true and insists that they all repeat as the truth and many do believe it. Certainly there's no benefit in Renegade doing anything other than spouting the party line at this time and place.

    I'm a little sympathetic to Burns since we found out that a mind-controlling Apocalyptian was pulling his strings. I'm sure he was out to dodge his taxes, but would he have ever come up with this particular scam without Sleez pushing him to it?
     
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  8. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No. Deporting him back to Apokolips would be an insult to Darkseid, as Darkseid was the one who exiled him in the first place.
    Back to Overgirl.
    She knows that Overman fought a variety of superpowered Americans. She probably doesn't remember that one in much detail.
    Pass.
    Probably.
     
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  9. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Was Garth -14 not born with purple eyes like earth 16 Garth?

    That would explain why he was racist against Orin -14, if he never suffered from racism he could have adopted his families rather extreme beliefs.
     
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  10. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Is the paragon going to have any children with Jade, aside from the one/s he may adopt in the final year?
     
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  11. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Oh, he had purple eyes. But Atlantean attitudes to power are somewhat different on Earth -14.
    Probably, but that will be beyond the scope of this story.
     
  12. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    How many years, in real world time not your stories time, are you planning to continue this story?
    Are you planning on writing a sequel?
    Will there only be six years in your stories universe?

    Also have you read Super Powereds or Corpsies?
    Their books about superheroes, really interesting ones.
    I really like the fact that one of the characters in the books is a guy with the ability to manipulate orange energy called Citrine.:D
    If you have read these books would you do a crossover with them, or well just an alternate universe look where he ended up in that universe like the other versions of the SI?
    Imagine the SI going to a superhero school or attempting to help the corpsies with their issues and help build them as a team like the paragon does.

    What type of changes has Saul done to the team he was in, aside from probably taking away some of their powers, the only thing we know is that their doing better from the last time we saw Saul?
     
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  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    What has the Paul in the exalted universe been up to since his ring became, or him i don't remember, became a infernal?

    Will we see a version of the SI that became a green lantern in your story?
     
  14. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Isn't it "Heggra"?
     
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  15. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    As long as it takes.
    Not unless human life expectancy dramatically increases in the next twenty years.
    No, it'll keep going, I just won't be writing about it.
    No, I haven't.
    Minor brain modifications for augmented intellects, general physical training and skills focused training.
    Fixing Autochthon. It's a work in progress.
    I don't have any plans for one.
    No, but it should be.
     
  16. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I really respect your dedication and am pretty sure that people will gladly pay for your life to be extended if such procedures are discovered.
     
  17. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Even a Super Pervert would hsve found that plan quite stupid.

    There are shape changers, illusions and so on.

    Wonder Woman had to deal with porno of her since the war.

    And of course there is certain Martian...
     
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  18. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    You made a logic mistake there.

    Your incorrect assumption was that the other New Gods of Apokalips are a threat just like the likes of Superman have been shown to beat the snot out of Darkseid.

    They aren't, because for the vast majority of New God history, New Gods were shit compared to Kryptonians, Guardians, Martians, Daxamites, etc, etc. It isn't until the post flashpoint continuity that New Gods were actually given god-like power. And that was bad bad writing, because it showed Power Rings as like useless crap you get at the bottom of a cereal box, which means it made no sense that Highfather felt power ring technology was too much power to trust to mortals.

    God is a description of their race not their power level.

    New Gods are a sequel to Marvel's Thor, where the Asgardians aren't bulletproof and Thor once had to save Sif from Dracula because vampires are higher up the food chain than deities.

    Superman's son by Lashina that showed up in this story? He was going to be the God-King of Apokalips in Batman Beyond. The fact the half Kryptonian was going to be the strongest god on Apokalips makes it quite clear where Kryptonians stand in power level against most New Gods.
     
  19. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    Pretty sure Grayven has at least some level of diplomatic immunity.
     
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  20. Threadmarks: Gammadion (part 12)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    14th March
    15:05 GMT -5


    "Recognized, Orange Lantern, B zero six."

    I walk out of the glaring light of the zeta tube with my fingers crossed. It's not that I think that she'll actually attack anyone, it's just… I don't think that further shocks to the system will help my case.

    So, what do we know? Overman, the most powerful and highly respected superhero on Earth 10, thinks that the holocaust was a really bad idea. He's playing his horror down, but the person closest to him spotted it. And since she really didn't-. Doesn't want to believe it, I don't think that she's merely mistaken. So okay, he was a teenager when the Second World War ended, and Angelika said that he didn't commit mass 'purging' himself. I wouldn't expect most teenagers to question the society they grew up in at that age, and…

    And I'm not sure that I can criticise him too harshly for not trying to topple the fascist status quo when I left the Crime Syndicate as a going concern. Okay, he's had sixty years and I had a couple of days, so… No, no, the Syndicate doesn't have a broad support base. By now fascism is just normal. The surviving groups who aren't considered 'acceptable' aren't going to have the economic or military power to form a separate support base. And at this point the more stupid parts of Naz-. Yes, Nazi political organisation must have reached some kind of resolution, otherwise the system just wouldn't be able to function.

    Overman openly said that he thought the purges were a mistake and they don't appear to have tried to purge him. Yes, kryptonians are tough but they're not invulnerable. If the current regime were that sensitive to criticism then they could probably have gotten rid of him. Ultimately, I just don't know enough-.

    "Recognized, Overgirl, A six one."

    I don't know what he's planning. And I don't know if I could come up with something better.

    Angelika looks around curiously. Her eyes alight on the bio-ship for a moment, but she appears familiar with the general design.

    "Is that Martian?"

    "Yes, it belongs to my colleague, M'gann M'orzz. What's Mars like in your parallel?"

    "It was dead. There's a Germanian colony there now, but the only member of the native species left is A'monn A'mokk."

    "What happened to them?"

    "I don't know him well. Some sort of weaponised disease. It killed the entire population over the course of a few days." She shrugs. "It does nothing to humans, so there was no reason not to colonise it."

    Hm. Don't remember an A'monn A'mokk from the comics.

    "Good news, then! Martian civilisation is alive and well here. The Justice League has a Martian member, as does my team. That's a Martian spaceship."

    She nods, and continues looking around.

    "I can't see through the rock."

    "Yes, it's a security measure. I reinforced it with super tough materials and arcane wards, and there's an enchanted grove inhabited by a dryad on top of it." I frown. "What does National Socialism say about dryads?"

    She shrugs. "Since they aren't human, our standards of racial purity don't apply. The National Church dislikes them, while the Ariosophists.. generally revere them. I have never dealt with one myself. Do you intend to introduce us?"

    "I think Euanthe's probably a bit tactile for you."

    "Tactile?"

    "She doesn't really have a concept of personal space. Oh, um… Should I introduce you as Overgirl, or Angelika? Actually, is it alright if I call you Angelika? Overgirl sounds a little.. odd in-." I wince. "Do you speak English?"

    "Yes, and Spanish and French. Though I am told that I have a strong accent."

    "I hadn't noticed."

    "Of course not, we are both speaking German."

    "No, I'm speaking English." I hold up my left hand. "My power ring includes a translation function."

    "It does?"

    "I got a 'C' at GCSE German, which means that I can't speak German. I didn't even get that far with any other language."

    "Sentinel's ring does not translate. Is that because his ring is green?"

    "Did he get it from an American superhero called Green Lantern?" She nods. "It's defective. Damaged during a remote shutdown when its previous owner stopped obeying the people who made it. It doesn't have a lot of the functions the rings in good working order have."

    "How would he repair it?"

    "Ta.. king our parallel as an example, find someone who understands the technology and ask them to do it. The Guardians of the Galaxy might do it, but… How National Socialist is Sentinel?"

    "They would refuse to aid a hero due to his political beliefs?"

    "If those political beliefs include the idea that mass murder of people who haven't committed a crime due to genetic characteristics is okay then yes, they probably would. If the Green Lantern Corps in your reality works like it does here then there are two Lanterns in your region of space already. If they haven't approached him -even just to find out how he got his ring- then it's probably because they don't want to."

    "Their own species has never cleansed itself? They do not have their own defectives?"

    "Yes, and I work for them. When Maltusian political factions can't agree with one another they just avoid one another, they don't kill each other. The last time there was Maltusian on Maltusian violence was when one of them came close to accidentally destroying the universe, and there wasn't any internal disagreement about how to handle that."

    "Other species, then. How do they handle-?"

    "Some species do sterilise people with genetic disorders… Those are actual disorders which make parts of their body not function properly, not for membership of a particular social group. More advanced places just fix them or use assisted reproduction techniques to ensure that the damaged genes aren't passed on. Political purges happen in a lot of places, but… Remember all of the centuries German Catholics spent killing German Protestants, and vice versa? Same thing, and about as sensible. Trying to kill a popular idea by killing people usually doesn't completely work, and trying to kill an unpopular one is pointless. Other places have caste systems, but even then… Flat out extermination of the sort Germania went in for is very unusual."

    I call up a holographic screen and connect it to my rings by a construct.

    "Feel free to review our database if you wish to confirm that for yourself."

    "Yes." She walks over to it and begins entering her search parameters. "I think that I will."
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2020
  21. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    Yesssss... Soon, soon you will realize that absolutely everything you believe in is rubbish and completely pointless. Muwahaha.
     
  22. jmartinez8089

    jmartinez8089 Getting out there.

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    I think I missed something. When did she reveal her name to be Angelika?
     
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  23. Agumentic

    Agumentic Not too sore, are you?

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    Last Paragon chapter, when they were searching for her parents.
     
  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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  25. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    criticize, I would guess.
     
  26. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Happy new year everyone.

    Also great chapter and i really hope she becomes a better person after this.

    And i really hope she finds out about Schreiber and his family.
     
  27. Grimnar

    Grimnar Versed in the lewd.

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    That's pretty much all beliefs when you boil it down to basics.
     
  28. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    At worst, she might have some kind of psychotic breakdown. Which would probably end up with her getting Righteously Face-punched after she tries to take over the world...

    Keep in mind, Kryptonian intelligence. Just because he doesn't show it often, doesn't mean Kal-El is stupid, whichever the universe.

    In short, it's impossible to remove or overthrow the ruling force.

    I'm guessing it would take particularly dirty nuclear weapons, ala Dark Knight Returns.

    And ultimately, is there any point to try? It's not your universe. It's not even the one you live in. At best, you hope Overman can change thigns from within, and let him handle it.

    Not in the best of shape, really.

    I wonder what part the Scientific community of her nation had to do with it... Or perhaps it was Ma'alefa'ak or Karmang's doing.

    I wonder what she thinks of that? After all, she's only met one White Martian. Would she approve of the Reds ruling or find the Green's existence as distasteful as she does other 'lesser' races?

    Ooh, what does it think of non-humans? Atlanteans, we know they love them, being the 'original Aryan people' and so forth... But 'monster' races?

    Yeah, she is a bit touchy-feely.

    Übermädchen, yes? The implications are a bit, well...

    You're speaking German. Unlike your world, German is not the common tongue.

    Don't feel bad, many people only speak one language. I can understand a few terms and phrases in spoken Japanese, but that's about it.

    Nice touch, giving their GL-counterpart Alan's alternate Comics speudonym.

    "They already have a long history of doing so..."

    Or they've been ordered not to. Unsurprisingly, the whole 'Nazi's rule the world' would count solely as a internal political matter. Remember their stance concerning the League of Shadows?

    'Defectives' is a bit of a strong term for it, though. I doubt Hinon would like to be called that...

    Why waste the resources, some would say. Like Apokolips!

    Oh, I hope you set some restrictions on access. Ideally, nothing she can't find on... 'Encarta Populi', wasn't it?

    Ah, first chapter of the new year and fast approaching the first anniversary of the Fic's arrival on QQ, too. Time does fly.
    As for the content, I see OL is still trying to give Overgirl the information she should know, to shake up her beliefs. Best case scenario, when Overman and the Statemen manage to find their way here, perhaps they'll develop a plan to change their world...
     
  29. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Happy New Year, for those who care about that sort of thing (I blanked on it until the fireworks went off while I was in the bathroom).
     
  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    Two more years to go!
     
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