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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Listen, if Harry had just manned up and Rammed it down Draco's throat, a lot of conflict could have been avoided.
     
  2. Jormuungaand

    Jormuungaand Out of work World Serpent

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    Draco? Ew.
     
  3. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    If you're not will to dick down your foes....can you really call yourself a Hero?
     
  4. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Puts a whole new spin on Grayven and Darkseid’s relationship
     
  5. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Ah, father/son incest....someone ships it. If the mountains of Naruto/Minato prove nothing else, it's that.
     
  6. Jormuungaand

    Jormuungaand Out of work World Serpent

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    What the HECK have you been reading?!?? (Backs away slowly)
     
  7. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Awww....if you run, you know.....I'll have to chase you.
     
  8. Valiran

    Valiran Seeker of fluffiness

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    I’d be okay with that, provided the friction that ensued from such interactions led to good character development for everyone. Maybe have someone point out that people will be more likely to listen to OL if he were more tactful.

    Naturally, once everyone had gotten used to each other and started working together properly, the combination of OL’s unconventional thinking and the princesses’ already-potent badassery would result in a scene where they completely wreck the bad guys’ shit and leave Hordak standing in the middle of his base screaming “WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE?!”

    To my knowledge, it can mean that the story prioritizes being “woke” above things like good characterization and a well-written plot, or that the person calling it “woke garbage” is using a dogwhistle.

    AFAIK the She-Ra reboot is well-written, has good characterization, and the cast includes multiple LGBTQI+ characters that are treated like actual people instead of freakshow caricatures.

    Case in point: one of the antagonists, Double Trouble, is a pseudo-reptilian shapeshifter who embedded themselves as a double-agent in the heroes’ side, stayed completely undetected for months, and then used their silver tongue to stay in the heroes’ good graces after being found out.

    After all was said and done, they even defected to the heroes’ side because it’s clearly in their best interest, and announced this defection by psychologically breaking one of the major villains before telling her (paraphrased) “You’re a vicious, pointlessly cruel bitch, which is just one of the many reasons the princesses are going to win this war. Now, I’m not stupid enough to keep working for you, so I’mma head on over to their place and see if they feel like hiring a spy to help kick your asses. Buh-bye~!”

    Oh, and you might notice how I keep using the word “they” instead of “he” or “she”. It just so happens that Double Trouble’s gender identity is “yes”, because shapeshifting lizard-person. They can change their biological sex at will and the same presumably holds true for the rest of their species, and them being non-binary fits so perfectly into their character I can’t imagine why they would be anything else.

    TL;DR: it is by all accounts a very good show that I really ought to get around to watching someday.

    You’re missing the point: heroes are supposed to have standards.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2020
  9. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Sometimes you have to fuck the justice deep, deep inside of them for it to really take root.
     
  10. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    This does not surprise me, it DISGUSTS me but does not surprise me as some people will ship characters simply on the basis of thinking two characters look cute together or misinterpreting dislike as "romantic tension". Then there are the people who write Starlord x Rocket Raccon fics.
     
  11. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    IIRC in the original series his culture treated showing one's face as similar to being nude.

    He can do magic without the wand, just not reliably.
    Anything he does could backfire or go out of control, so he doesn't dare do anything big.
    The original series had his magic be screwy because his homeworld had different metaphysical laws affecting how magic works.
    Same problem Sunset had when she showed up.

    Even if they can't make him a new wand, he could make extensive use of those simple artifacts that cause single effects and use the wielder's mana pool for fuel. Much simpler to make than artifacts that have their own internal charge.
     
  12. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I have to say, this comment makes me think that your anti-nazi stance is not entirely consistent.
     
  13. Threadmarks: I HAVE THE POWER! Ring.
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    20th year of the reign of King Randor I
    Season of Winds
    73rd day, 3rd bell


    "You really think this is worth doing?"

    Krass can't really turn his head too well in his armour, but he twists his shoulders and looks down at me as we head towards the maximum security wing. Or -given what happened to the last maximum security wing- perhaps I should follow Krass' suggestion and call it the hyper-ultra security wing. Sir Duncan really went all out this time.

    I shake my head as we approach the second checkpoint and raise our hands, four Royal Guards keeping us covered with plasma blasters while four others come forward with personal scanners. "It doesn't matter what I think. Only what happens."

    "Ah, don't try that mystical stuff with me. These guys are the worst of the worst. Most of them joined up after Sk-." I roll my eyes and then glare at him. "After Keldor's revolt. They knew what they were getting into."

    "Krass, there are two logical ways to deal with criminality. The first is rehabilitation." I raise my arms as one guard runs his scanner over my torso and another holds a glowing crystal to my forehead. "To turn law-breakers into decent citizens. At the most basic level, that can be achieved through the threat of punishment or punishment itself. Fines, the stocks-"

    He winces. There are good reasons beyond mere professionalism why he doesn't drink liquor these days.

    "-public whippings, conscription, imprisonment, forced labour… All sorts of things. Then there are more indirect things; finding them useful work or getting them sober." He grunts. "But, ultimately, the convicted has to see it as better to follow the rules than break them."

    "Yeah, okay. What's the other one?"

    "Laws aren't secret. If you're not going to rehabilitate them and they can't be trusted to behave, simply kill them."

    The guards nod to each other, and the corporal lowers his gun. "Identities confirmed, Ram Man and Orange Lantern. Sirs, please wait here while we contact Sir Duncan for authorisation."

    I nod and adopt a more relaxed posture.

    "Why not just leave them in a hole like this and forget about them?"

    I gesture to the guard post. "Does this look like we've forgotten about them? We could have built a town for the resources this place cost. Or built a flipping curtain wall around Castle Grayskull. And then there are the ongoing costs in maintenance, guards… And the risk of another breakout; I mean, we're concentrating the few people who are threats to you and me in one place. If they get out, all of this was a waste of time, because they're going to go right back to Keldor."

    The corporal nods and gestures to the armoured lift doors ahead of us. I nod back, and Krass and I stride through as they wheeze open. We turn around as they close, and then I feel the slight sensation of weightlessness as the lift accelerates downwards.

    "So what you're saying is: we have to finish them off or make them good?"

    "Do you really think his majesty would sign off on us killing them?"

    "I don't know. King Hiss shook everyone up pretty bad." I eyeball him. "Okay, no, I don't. But how in Eternia do you think you're going to rehabilitate them?"

    I hold up my left hand, letting the ring glow for a moment. "Simply a matter of knowing what they want, my friend."

    "Bah, magic."

    "I'm still not convinced-."

    "Yeah, yeah. I heard that lecture. 'Advanced enough technology'." The doors blast open and we walk out into the panopticon. "Looks the same to me."

    I stand in front of the viewing window and press the 'ready' button. That makes a signal go off in the first guard station, which in turn makes them remotely check the cell module I've been authorised to view and then pull the levers required to bring it up to this level.

    "You headbutt mountains."

    He frowns in confusion. "Yeah?"

    "So me doing ridiculous things with a ring is magic while you doing them with your forehead isn't?"

    "Just.. got a.. thick skull, I guess."

    I nod. These people really don't see anything odd about what they can do. I'm still half-convinced that this place is like Ashan, and all magic is some sort of post-singularity precursor technology the locals don't even begin to understand. It would fit with the history of Hordak's invasion after all, and it would explain Kronis' nanotechnology and why magic users can't do a thing without their focuses…

    The viewing window opens and the person I'm here to see glares at me from the chair she's manacled to. Obviously she isn't bound full time, but the only way the system can bring her up is if she's sitting in that chair and the clamps are engaged. The metal of the chair is Eternium, strong enough that even He-Man couldn't… Well, he'd take a minute or two. And Evelyn isn't anything like as strong as he is.

    Her eyes narrow slightly as she regards us. "Oh. I was hoping that I warranted He-Man's attention, not two of his lackeys."

    Krass snarls as he stomps forward. "You should be glad anyone's coming down here!"

    And she's smiling. I sigh quietly, then hold up my right hand. "Ram Man, if you wouldn't mind?"

    He glowers at her, then turns his back on her and stomps to the rear of the panopticon.

    "Ah, the brains of the operation."

    I bow politely. "One does one's humble best."

    "And what does the humble one want?"

    "The humble one wants to know what you want."

    She considers for a moment. "My staff, my freedom and.. shall we say..? Three bags of gold coins? I'd ask for four but I wouldn't want to be over encumbered."

    "Hah!" I shake my head. "Easily done, but then what? Back to Keldor and your delightfully appointed quarters in Snake Mountain? Please, aim higher. What do you really want? Long term. If everything goes your way, where do you see yourself in ten years?"

    She spots my ring shimmering, but when nothing appears to happen she considers the question for a moment. "Castle Grayskull would be quite nice. Yes, I see myself bearing the full might of Grayskull."

    I nod. "Acceptable."

    For a moment she looks like she's swallowed something bitter. "What?"

    "I.. recently conducted a review of Eternos' defences, and a key weakness I identified was the Sorceress herself. In her fight with King Hiss she was seriously injured, and that.. effectively deprived us of our magic capacity until she recovered. No organisation should have any role where they can't replace the occupant. But…" I make a shrugging motion with my hands. "We have something of a dearth of candidates, Orko isn't compatible with Grayskull's magics… But you are down here."

    "And you want to replace the Sorceress with me? I certainly won't refuse, though-."

    "No, no… No. We're not that stupid. But… If you're interested, she's willing to consider… You're too old and skilled for an apprenticeship… Shall we say, a pupillage? You would study under her in a controlled environment, with a view to joining the Masters… Once we think we can trust you, and to taking over as Sorceress of Grayskull upon her death. Assuming that you aren't the cause of said death. We will check."

    "Y-?" Her eyes dart to the corners of the room before returning to my face. "I'm still somewhat.. surprised, to be offered this." Her eyes narrow. "What's the catch?"

    "You'll be geased up to the eyeballs. You will accept the geases and you will not knowingly resist them or try to bypass them. And a lot of the work she'll have you do early on will be apprentice work, just to make sure that you have the right attitude for the job. You also won't be getting your staff back anytime soon, and the Sorceress will want to place limits upon it to ensure that you do not misuse it. Furthermore, the job of Sorceress itself does not give you political control of any land aside from Castle Grayskull itself and the territory immediately abutting it."

    "Bearable. I'll want to see the written forms of the geases before I accept anything."

    I nod. "Perfectly fine."

    "Then… I accept. Provisionally."

    "I'll ask the Sorceress to write the bindings up for you to examine. That will most likely take a few days. I will return once they are done."

    She looks around her cell. "I will be happy to receive you then."

    I nod, smile, and turn aw-.

    "Still, I can't help but be curious. I'm sure the other Masters would have been happy to leave me here indefinitely. What do you personally get out of this?"

    "Oh, my motives are entirely transparent." Krass is already in the lift and I head towards him. "Good day, Evelyn."
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2020
  14. Massgamer

    Massgamer Not too sore, are you?

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    Wait, is he hitting on her? I mean, assuming she follows through wouldn't be worst choice.
     
  15. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Paul does seem to like girls with a darkside
     
  16. Xelloss

    Xelloss Know what you're doing yet?

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    I can't view the d.pr image links without having to register.
     
  17. Lazurman

    Lazurman That Others May Fap

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    Methinks this is another miscommunication. He's simply trying to gain the forces of good a powerful spellcaster while simultaneously depriving the enemy of one, while she might think this an attempt to woo her.

    I'm very interested in seeing how this develops, and I haven't seen He-Man related anything in over 15 years.

    Alas, it is almost certain that there's not going to be another snip for a good long while.
     
  18. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    You know, if you have to keep rebuilding it, you should rebuild it as strong as possible...

    I see he's doing the 'calling them what they want to be called is only encouraging them.' thing.

    Oh, there is a story there, indeed. One that's probably embarrassing as hell for him, and hilarious to everyone else. And nice touch with the magical scan. To prevent mental control or influence, I suppose.

    And make it clear that it's not a last resort thing. 'Rehabilitate or die', and no-one wants to die unless they're really broken.

    Do you know how much it costs to do that?

    The alternative is somewhere off-world, and Eternia's technology isn't that good.

    I suspect His Majesty is much too nice a guy to allow that unless absolutely necessary...

    Ah, making use of the Ophidian's Eyes. Man, if he ever joins with the big orange snake, people are really going to panic hard...

    Clarke's Law in action. But the people making use of it don't need to know how it works, just that it does. They leave that to the smart guys.

    "And actually manage to do more than break your skull open."

    In more ways than one... :rolls eyes:

    The common folk lose the ability to access the real controls, and can only access the front-end menus designed for idiots. Yeah, I can see that.

    Oh, hush. He-man's busy actually doing things...

    I see they're getting into the Good Cop/Bad Cop roles right off.

    So much snark...

    Well, got to love a woman who knows what she wants. Pity that isn't really it.

    Oh, my. That'd make one hell of a butterfly.

    I foresee much shouting from Duncan... King Randor... He-Man... Just about everybody...

    No Klingon Promotions here, thank you.

    Largely a figurehead, outside of the phenomenal magical power.

    Huh, that was easy. Either she really wants that position and to get out of here, or she's planning to play a long, long game...

    Phrasing!

    Why does he always fall for the bad girls? Something

    Well, it's kind of a pity we won't see the results of this little conversation anytime soon, barring the Crisis of Infinite Pauls and Jades... Oh, well, back to Ponies!:p

    Corrections:
    These 'd.pr/FREE' links still asking for e-mails. Don't know why you use them anyway...
    ...and raise our hands...
     
  19. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Meaning they can't be seen, hah.

    I agree with your assessment of killing the irredeemable ones in these super hero settings but in real life things look diferent.

    It's a bit easier to ascertain the guilt of "Destructor, massively paralel killer" then "Joe Everyman, looking vaguely guilty on blurry camera". Death is also a lot more permanent in our world.
     
  20. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I love that he actually calls her Evelyn.
     
  21. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    In the previous update, Paul said he'd want a woman who could stand with them in their adventures, but without the age difference that would make a match with Teela disquieting.
     
  22. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    build -> built
    Maybe transparent to everyone but me?
     
    Chojin Patriarch likes this.
  23. Caerwen

    Caerwen Know what you're doing yet?

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    It takes fake email addresses.
     
  24. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

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    "What do you get out of this?"
    "Well, you stop trying to hurt us, for one. You help us, for two. Both very good swings in my favor. And in yours. And all for merely the price of giving you what you want in a way we want."
     
  25. Gladiusone

    Gladiusone Well worn.

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    Honestly I don’t really remember enough of He Man from my childhood ... presumably ‘Keldor’ is Skeletor? The various pun names are childish distortions of the characters real names?
     
  26. Old Knife

    Old Knife Not too sore, are you?

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    So many excellent snippets and all I want to see is Gravyen getting blasted by the elements of Harmony.
     
  27. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    He was initially hitting on the Sorceress, and his attempts at encouraging her to socialise paid off well. For Sir Duncan.
    No, they could do it, but that takes it from 'very expensive' to 'our civilisation does nothing else'.
    One of the interesting things from the comics is that Randor is borderline suicidal due to the horrible things he's had to do to keep his kingdom going, and no one knows.
    No, they discussed it calmly and rationally. He wouldn't be here without their approval. Well, Sir Duncan and King Randor's approval.
    Because I wrote this over a year ago when d.pr was where I put all my pictures and they didn't do that. I'll change it.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2020
  28. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    It's a Discworld reference. It would mean either 'you can see right through them' or 'you can't see them at all'.
    I haven't written it all yet, but been a while since I've done one of these, hasn't it?
     
  29. Lazurman

    Lazurman That Others May Fap

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    The madman sits on chapters for over a year in advance. Over a year. What kind of fae creature are you?!
     
  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Uh, I was writing an episode that I had no inspiration for and so wrote a few 1st of April segments. It doesn't usually happen.
     
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