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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. doug89

    doug89 Versed in the lewd.

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    Ho-ly Fuck. This was amazing. Grayven was right, there is no other way to describe it than "Hardcore".

    Hopefully this mauling of their characters isn't going to prevent them using the Elements of Harmony.
     
  2. Lazurman

    Lazurman That Others May Fap

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    Oh... dear. That’s... that’s not good.

    Oh, Grayven’s being an asshole, certainly, but this exact situation is ultra mega double plus ungood.
     
  3. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Would someone pick up that phone..
     
  4. Kalem_Lee

    Kalem_Lee Well worn.

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    OOOOHHHHH.

    This is not. Goood. Not Good At All.

    ...What are the chances he scars them so much that the elements shut off or they lose their connection?
     
  5. AtomicGeneral25

    AtomicGeneral25 Insert Creativity Here

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    Wow. At this rate they'll be too mentally scared to even think about using the elements on him. That being said, this rampage of Grayven's is amazing, keep it up!
     
    JoTa34, Lotor, Bramble Thorn and 28 others like this.
  6. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    I hope Darkseid gets to watch this terrorising of ponies. It would be his favourite memory from Grayvens antilife portion.
     
    JoTa34, Lotor, PervyThoughts and 33 others like this.
  7. jaelin910

    jaelin910 habitual lurker

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    Grayven: "Life=Pain"
     
  8. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    So, bets on the order for the remaining members of the Mane 6? I'm thinking Rainbow Dash, since there's only so much that Loyalty can endure attacks against the friends you're loyal to before something gives. Grayven likely has a response ready and waiting.
     
    RGFJ, Relyt33, Ardy and 8 others like this.
  9. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    Huh, whaddya know, Grayven was right. Telling the truth really is a bad habit, who knew it could be so dangerous?
     
  10. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Heh. I suppose he's used to people getting it wrong. A slightly longer 'ay' sound, yes?

    Well, looks like more trolling will be needed...

    Does Twilight ever use the Royal We in the series at any point?

    "Totally ruining the whole 'Evil Alicorn' vibe I'm trying for, you know?"

    Because Celestia will almost certainly pick up on the Anti-Life fragment.

    I'm so proud of you, you got to be a villain-of-the-week! Let's try for Season Villain next!

    Ah, Grayven, focusing on the important parts...

    Wow, this is just perfectly responding to Thread Discussions...

    Would you have really listened to him? I mean, I know you're considerate of that sort of thing, but...

    Ah, Pinkie's cartoon logic physics. Surprised you didn't link a Phoenix Wright "Objection" vid there.

    Okay, seriously, I don't think they're grasping the full extent of the situation re: Anti-life. Try drilling home the mind-bending horror of it, they've got experience with that courtesy of Discord.

    Girl's got her priorities straight.

    True, true. But...

    Heh, I bet Twilight had kind of forgotten about them a bit by this point anyway.

    Dammit, Grayven, you dumped her into a logic loop. Snap her out of it, quick. Call Wheatley!

    Like it isn't your fault. Then again, she's the one who kind of abandoned her Canterlot social life in favour of Ponyville...

    Not that many people would have done more than shrug and say "Oh, it's just a Pinkie Pie thing, eh? Alrighty then..."

    Damn, she's on the ball. Sometimes.

    Heh. I'll bet she does...

    Oh, boy. This is going somewhere dark, isn't it?

    "Is that what she told you?"

    ...:mad:Did you just break Pinkie Pie? Screw trolling, that's Evil!

    Language! I know he's an ass... Well, a horse, right now... But there's no call for that!

    {Resigned sigh} {Reluctant agreement}

    Well, at least she's got good color co-ordination.

    Well done, Corpsman. I've never seen a panic reaction that quick.

    I rather suspect you've overdone it, thought. Fear is one thing, catatonia is another...

    When even the rebellious wanna-be alicorn is calling you out, you know you went too far.:sneaky:

    Get that pony ice-cream, stat! Triple Chocolate ripple with minty honeycomb, for best soothing effect!

    Seriously, Grayven. Seriously. You're going to have to be careful or you'll ruin their ability to use the Elements entirely. And then you're going to have to help track down new Bearers... :eek:Oh gods, is this is going to be a double-episode because of that?
     
  11. JamesEye

    JamesEye Not too sore, are you?

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    Yeah just destroys the entirety of free will life or something horrible. Lesson 1 is to not invite people to actively try their worst haha.
     
    JoTa34, Gilhelmi, Jaron and 14 others like this.
  12. Kalem_Lee

    Kalem_Lee Well worn.

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    So Applejack...wasn't there a time she didn't learn anything?
     
    Gilhelmi, Relyt33, Navi-Hank and 5 others like this.
  13. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    ...he may have just destroyed the Bearers.

    How do Twilight and Pinkie even come back from that?

    No wait, hold on. How did Grayven find her? Why did she come through the boomtubewithout hesitation? Did he fake a surviving Pinkie Clone?
     
  14. FreeGod

    FreeGod If you see a God on the road fuck it!

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    Considering that in order to get the power from the tree box they each had to learn the harder more complex lessons of friendship this might actually make them better at using the elements if they get through this.
     
    Jaron, Relyt33, Ardy and 16 others like this.
  15. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    He suspected that they never killed all of the clones and so boom tubed around Equestria for a bit scanning for them.
    He booked her.
    No.
     
  16. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    After a moment's thought, the one small solace I take from this chapter is that Grayven didn't go for the lowest blow possible, because I know it occurred to him.

    If he'd reminded Pinkie that bringing new life into the world strongly implies that Pinkie was complicit in the mass murder of her own children...

    ...it probably would have been even worse than it already is.
     
  17. Massgamer

    Massgamer Not too sore, are you?

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    Not technically wrong, they did return to the pool but one could argue doing so killed them in a way since I doubt they maintained their individuality. Brain dead is basically dead after all.
     
  18. PrinceJonathan

    PrinceJonathan Versed in the lewd.

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    I vote Derpy for Bearer of the Element of Muffins!
     
  19. Sorrow

    Sorrow Getting sticky.

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    Twilight "Serial Killer" sparkle... I LIKE IT!!
     
  20. Vanathor

    Vanathor 『Back In Black』

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    Pretty sure it's "spree killer" not serial killer. The pinkie genocide was a single event not multiple individual victims spread throughout a long period of time.
     
  21. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    There are worse things I could do...
     
  22. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    Seriously, just... threaten to blow up the city unless they blast you. This is needlessly cruel and complicated.
     
  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, she had a victim profile.
     
  24. FreeGod

    FreeGod If you see a God on the road fuck it!

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    Grayven is big on cruel to be kind. Of the elements of friendship he tries to use honestly to make up for all the others.
     
  25. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    Nooooooooooooooo~ you're grimdarking mah nostalgia!

    ...
    ...
    Well, okay. Judging from some of the fanfics written about it, MLP is a series that lends itself surprisingly well to grimdarkness.
     
  26. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Shouldn't Pinkie-Sense have forewarned her about what she would find or stopped her entirely?
     
  27. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    I second this vote.
     
  28. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Someone forgot that Power Rings can't detect magic.

    Side note, you're doing that bashfic thing again.
     
  29. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    Something slightly Meta-textual here.

    This is rather enlightening regarding Renagade's view point when and if he meets any of the other Paul's in the multiverse.

    Since there are many Copies of Paul running around, much like Pinkie 2 here, each of them is to be considered a fully formed individual rather then a lifeless clone acting out. If paragon Paul ran across this, he might end up relating to #2 here since it can be inferred from his body surfing last April First that none of them are the original.

    Zoat's place lording over his fictional selves running around.
     
  30. Doctor Blood

    Doctor Blood The horror! The horror! Moderator

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    Jesus Christ, that went dark fast. By the time he convinces them to break out the Elements of Harmony, the girls are going to be too traumatized and disillusioned to actually use them.
     
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