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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. The Chosen One

    The Chosen One Getting out there.

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    Obviously, glow-based translation is so advanced that it replaced the etymology with the local equivalent to form a complete, sensible statement with the same pedantic connotations.

    It's like when Har-Zod referred to Kal-El's pod as a "Moses basket"; the Kryptonian phrase he actually used referenced an entirely different cultural history, but the intent came through clearly.
     
  2. Threadmarks: Equestrian Guise (part 9)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Ponyland
    Afternoon


    Buckface regards us with a look of profound disinterest. It's obvious where his name comes from. His muzzle is… Offset, twisted slightly to the left. Deformity, or the result of an injury? Not sure. Sunset's eyes switch rapidly between him and the load he was pulling, trying to estimate the weight that he was just pulling and perhaps comparing it to what his muscles should allow. Now that I get a closer look at him I can see the slightly uneven pattern of his fur in some places, where old scars and burns have prevented it from growing.

    "Weyt yeh wint?"

    Lightning Dust is looking at Buckface too, but I think she's just checking him out.

    Scrivener frowns at him. "Come on, now. You kin speak their language jes' as weyl and I kin."

    "What af it?"

    "Hi." Sunset smiles. "I'm Sunset Shimmer. I'm from Equestria, the country on the far side of the pole." No obvious reaction. "To the north. Past the yaks."

    "Oh, aye?"

    "Yes! And we don't have anyone who knows earth pony magic. And you -apparently- do."

    His cutie mark is a log-. No. A caber.

    "Oh. Aye."

    "So I was hoping you'd come back with us, and teach other-"

    "No."

    "-pon-." She frowns. "What? Why not?"

    "Masters teach. I in't a master yet."

    "Oh… Kay..? And how do you become a master?"

    He looks at her. Then he looks pointedly at his load. Then he looks back at her.

    "O-. Is that all?" She looks at me. "Grayven, we can get some weights, right?"

    "Yes, I think we can manage some training weights. But Equestrian earth ponies drag trains for training. It saves on coal."

    "Trains?"

    I wouldn't say that Buckface-.

    "Is Buckface your actual name, or is it more of a nickname? I can't believe that your parents actually-."

    "This snoot not gi' yeh a clue, jimmeh?"

    Lightning Dust sniffs. "If you're so tough, how come your muzzle got broken?"

    "Dragon."

    "How big a d-?"

    "An' a moontain."

    Lightning Dust looks thoughtful for a moment, then smiles. "This I gotta hear."

    "Fought a dragon. He wus losin', 'til he got a hold a' me and slammed me int' a granite cliff. I thank it wus three ower four times. Then he flew owf."

    "So are we talking a baby dragon, or..?"

    "A mite bigger than that. An' yu." He looks at me. "Ma an' Pa named me Hearthguard. But 'til I get that dragon back but gud, it's 'Buckface'. Now wa's this aboot 'trains'?"

    "They're giant metal carts that run all over the country. Also worth pointing out that there aren't any masters of earth pony magic in Equestria."

    "Eh?"

    "None. It's a forgotten art. There might be one or two who intuit parts from first principles if they're got the right cutie mark, but that's it. No teachers. No masters."

    "How do they gat anythin' dun?"

    Sunsets eyes narrow. "And what do you mean by that?"

    "How d' they fight chaos beasties or move stuff? Nah wee pegapodes or unicorns kin dew at."

    "Oh, can't we?"

    "Ah han'na see it."

    She smiles. "Unhitch yourself for a moment."

    "Tchhaa! Twig a' a thang like yerself?" He jerks himself free of the hitch and steps aside. "Ha' a go iffin yah like, filly."

    "And if I move it, you'll come back to Equestria with us?"

    "Werl, I hafta finish moving it furst. But wance the deal's done with, aye." He nods.

    "Grayven, open a boom tube to…" She frowns. "Where are you going with this?"

    "West aways, teh the river."

    Ring

    Location confirmed.

    Boom!

    A tube aperture large enough for the giant cart appears next to a rather stunned shipwright.

    "Hm." Sunset nods and then returns her full attention to the cart. Her horn glows and the cart glows in sympathy. "You know, a year ago I'd have tried lifting this with pure force. Now?"

    There's a small flash, and the cart… Floats a little way off the ground, no longer affected by gravity. Sunset walks around to the back of it, makes eye contact with Buckface, and then rears up on her hind legs and gives it a gentle shove. It drifts forwards, wobbling left and right as the rollers catch on the ground.

    "See, while we don't know anything about earth pony magic, unicorn magic? We're kinda good at that."

    "Aye. So ah see." He watches as the cart drifts through and Sunset cancels her spell. "Werl, I'll nah go back on mah wurd. Let's tek a luuk at these 'train' thangs, then."

    I smile. "Scrivener, I imagine that an actual ambassador from Equestria will be along presently. In the mean time, a little something to remember us by."

    I take a Wilsonian world map out of subspace and hand it over to her. Her horn glows as she opens it and looks it over, then cuts out as she gapes in shock.

    The boom tube booms shut, then a new one opens back to Canterlot. A palace balcony with a good view of the whole of the city. Lightning Dust flaps through a moment later and does a quick loop over the city. Buckface steps through next, the aperture wobbling slightly as he passes through. He frowns as he looks around at the city, far larger than anything that my drones found in Ponyland. Sunset brings up the rear, and I close the tube behind her.

    Buckface frowns as he walks to the edge of the balcony and looks out across the city. Canterlot is only mildly industrialised. The country's main industrial centre is Detrot, located near their largest coal deposits, and while Canterlot does have industry it also has harsh clean air laws passed by the landed gentry who have no interest in breathing smog. Magic pollution filters are available, but they do make it inefficient to do anything too heavy.

    "Well?" Sunset smiles as she walks over to him. "What do you think?"

    He looks at her in bewilderment.

    "What nincomninny built a city hangin' off a mountain? One gud stomp an' it'll awl tumble down!"

    Sunset blinks.

    "Then.. please don't stomp?"

    He snorts and goes back to taking in the sights.

    Okay, got the one for each breed.

    "Sunset, I think it's time to do your demonstration. Let's go and round up the survivors of Miss Dust's lesson."
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2020
  3. Alasnuyo

    Alasnuyo I am always here

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    So, master lacertomagi can go hoof to toe with the likes of Superman if I'm reading the implications correctly?
     
  4. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    I imagine it’s a magical city or something? Or it’s on a plateau? Heck, that’s like asking what kind of idiot built a magical floating city with stone and metal arches and everything when it’s exposed to the wind and only Pegasi can stand on it.
     
  5. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Okay, not Arseface level, but still... Ow.

    Oh-ho, eating the eye candy, is she? Wait until she sees the big lads...

    And well-read too? (So to speak.) Quite the full package.

    I don't think he's impressed. Presumably not taking in the sheer distances involved. Or caring.

    Och, aye? How appropriate.

    Of course not, he's still only a student himself.

    Like I said yesterday, probably better off looking for the local cities for masters...

    I'm picturing him thinking "Is this bint barmy or summat?"

    Oh-ho, he's interested now.

    Grayven, blunt and rude as ever.

    Don't turn your nose up, girl, not until you've heard why and how.

    ...Was there throwing of said mountain involved, or...?

    Okay, add 'nigh-invulnerability' to a Lacertomancer's skill-set...

    Ah, it's a point of honour. Understandable. And that's why he's training up, isn't he?

    Non-sequiteur much? Then again, telling him he'd be the first Lacertomancer of any kind in the country...

    HA. He's got a low opinion of the other breeds, doesn't he?

    Oh, is he in for a surprise...

    Ah, time to show off what she's learned, eh?

    Appealing to his honour, eh. Or his Ego. Much the same with some folks.

    Not far, eh, just a hundred miles or so?

    Typical Renegade, taking the shortcuts...

    She knows better than that. Sneakiness beats muscle.

    Heh. This will be very interesting...

    Bet's a bet, eh? I suppose he's looking forwards to a little break.

    World's a lot bigger than she thought, eh? Kind of humbling to see how small the part you know is.

    Wait, Boom Tubes usually don't wobble... Something hinky about his mass?

    Ah, some good reasoning as to why the local towns seem so medieval...

    :D Someone else had that thought in-universe! It's amazing!:V

    That's like asking him to not breathe...

    Demonstration... Her ritual, or her lecture? So many threads to keep track of...

    Still surprised they didn't get an actual master of the art, but this is just early days. If Buckface demonstrates his powers, I'm sure Earth Ponies will be clamouring to learn... Once they sort out reliable travel between the regions. Too bad Renegade hasn't researched Dolmen Gates yet... I think.
     
  6. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    imagine that an actual

    Brilliantly appropriate! Maybe caber should be linked to save people googling.

    Translation, just in case:
    What do you want?
    You can speak their language just as well as I can.
    What of it?
    This snout not giving you a clue, mate?
    I haven't seen it.
    Tsk, a little thing like you? Have a go if you like, girl.
    Well, I have to finish moving it first. But once the deals done"
    Yes, so I see.
    Well, I'll not go back on my word. Let's take a look at these 'train' things then."
    What idiot built a city hanging off a mountain? One good stomp and it'll all tumble down!
     
  7. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected
     
  8. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Geomancy would explain how the Crystal Empire could be a thing without unicorns. They just grew the city like a giant geode.
    Someone is going to pun hell.
    Canterlot is built into the side of a mountain and the palace just out from the side in a way that would make civil engineers cry.
    All the unicorns and pegasi left during the exodus, so the only ones there nowadays would have been born from earth ponies that have some pegasus or unicorn ancestry. That means there wouldn't have been anyone to teach them how to use their inherent magics either.
     
  9. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    This will probably uoset the balance of power in Equestria like nothing else did.

    Like it or not, Unicorns were, until now, clearly the superior species and their presence all over in government clearly showed that rascist attitude.

    But with pegasus combat magic and now focused earth pony magic...well, the unicorns will not be happy.
     
  10. Ace Dreamer

    Ace Dreamer Questioning The Nature of our Realities

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    'pattern'?



    Pity they're back in Canterlot so quickly, I was hoping they'd meet a pony called 'Jimmy'. :)

    I'm wondering what Celestia will say when she comes back and sees what's going on...
     
  11. Senevri

    Senevri Not too sore, are you?

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    Eh. It varies.... In how much a character's opinion is taken as WoZ and in how much a reply is directed at the character, not the author.
     
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  12. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    Oh boy! You mean they’re a race of natural muscle Wizards?
     
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  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    And because no one reads the FAQ.
     
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  14. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

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    #1 question frequently asked: "There's an FAQ?!?" And that's just me.
     
  15. Belenus

    Belenus Versed in the lewd.

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    Fuck 'em. But not literally, cause this isn't a clop-fic.

    Yet.
     
  16. topin89

    topin89 Virgin Centrist

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    It's quite easy to miss it to be fair. There is no direct mention of the FAQ in your signature, as well as no mention in the first post on SB nor in the first post of the story only thread.
    I guess you should mention about the FAQ in (Fourteen) link.
     
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  17. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    o_O Is she really that dense? If someone says they are not a master you ask where to find one, not how to ‘upgrade’ them to the rank.

    Given it wouldn’t even support its own weight without magical reinforcement I really doubt it is even remotely as fragile as it looks.

    Although I am curious as to what he would think of Cloudsdale.

    1) The ‘balance of power’ in Equestria is: Alicorns > rich people > poor people.
    2) From the legends the Earth Ponies were the oppressed underclass back in the time of three tribes. This tells you a lot about how super strength compares to weather control and free-casting magic.
     
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  18. TheMidnightRook

    TheMidnightRook Well worn.

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    Uhh... did you maybe neglect to save the edit? Because it's been about six hours since you claim to have fixed it, but I'm still seeing "image that" instead of "imagine that"
     
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  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Huh. Sorry, not sure what happened there. Try now.
     
  20. TheMidnightRook

    TheMidnightRook Well worn.

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    It's fixed now
     
  21. Siskulous

    Siskulous Know what you're doing yet?

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    *cough*GravenxLuna*cough*
     
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  22. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Grayven didn't offer to fix his face? I guess he just wasn't interested.
     
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  23. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Don't remember those episodes but could be more he was they to keep balance so that multitiered cake doesn't topple?
     
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  24. Aeess

    Aeess I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    People try, but its hard to get past rule 2 when it pretty much tells you not to read it. And I am already breaking rule 1 by mentioning it.
     
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  25. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Now you're just taking the piss.

    Does she have more than one horn, or is she a standard-pattern unicorn? Either "horns glow" or "horn glows" depending.

    I read it more as him being dismissive of a society that's lacking a physical labor force.

    I think that one might actually be canon?

    I mean, we are on QQ now.

    I think Grayven didn't want to impugn the guy's honor. It is, after all, a well-deserved battle scar, representative of a promise to finish what he started.
     
  26. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  27. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Oh, that wasn't intentional? *checks edit* ... *snrk* Yep, still taking the piss. XD
     
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  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Zoat can you give us any hints on what universe the Lantern Corps, Ho chapters will take place in?

    Does anyone have any ideas?
     
  29. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, it turns out that 'octopodes' is just as valid as 'octopi' as a plural. Now, 'pegasi' is wrong regardless (because their full name is pegasus pony -pony who looks like the individual named Pegasus-, their plural is pegasus ponies and if you're knocking off the 'pony' part then the plural is the same as the singular) but if it wasn't then pegapodes would be equally valid.
    If you can't work it out then I don't know what to say.
     
  30. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    It's Thundercats, Darko.

    Warlantern 40,000 is the one that puzzles me. I've thought about it a lot, but I can't figure it out. Why do you have to make it so vague, Mr Zoat?
     
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