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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Ghi'ta could have hopefully taken the SI's advice about having equipment to heart and stocked her subspace area full of all kinds of goodies.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2020
  2. Redhawk

    Redhawk Getting out there.

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    Well that’s no good.
     
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  3. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    I know better than to solely criticize something I’m experiencing for free. So I’ll focus on the positives.

    I enjoyed how trippy that time loop sequence was. The conversion from orange dragon claws to predator-inspired insectoid graspers is pretty good, but I wish the constructs were described as imperfect. I reckon we will experience a Paragon-Paul version of the Grayven-Harmony-Powerup revelations. Just as we saw a slight difference in the love Zatanna feels for her father versus her romantic attachment to Paul, we will see how solid or shallow paragon-Paul’s love truly is.

    hmm. I wonder if Paul is still going to feel any significant amount of love towards Jade after this. Like... the setup of this arc has a few different indicators that hilarity could happen, but I can foresee Paragon-Paul being too emotionally-drained to appreciate any of it.
     
  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  5. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    And now I'm remembering way back when, when it was discussed what if any other colour ring the paragon and renegade would get. If memory serves it was "Yes. Grayven's will make far too much sense. And OL's will be rather inconvenient." Or something along those lines.

    I believe we all thought that meant blue. Go figure.
     
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  6. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    That doesn't make sense unless Paragon is going to keep the violet ring after this storyline is over.
     
  7. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    So, not going quite as well as hoped for, eh? Still, at least she hasn't descended into 'WantwantwantWANT!' territory.

    Honestly, it's not like she's sitting at a scrying monitor, watching you warily at all times... Is she?

    Don't worry, it's like yoga pants. They just don't suit everyone.

    "Challenge accepted. Hold my ring."

    Wow, just jumping in with both feet. Such confidence.

    Well, duh. Why did you think he took his ring off?

    As shown by Carol Ferris... Kind of. Also by Earth-14 Dame Carol...

    And I can see Guy having just those reactions.

    Okay, OL, now that's just showing off.

    Well, of course the various Ring wielder skillsets crossover. After all, they scripted in the ability to master all seven. It's a prerequisite to learn the White Lantern skillset. But that's for top-level players running perk-based endgame quests...

    Heh, she'd see it that way, all right.

    Aw, not going for classic 'Kingdom Come'-style knightly armour?

    "Did anyone else see that cat?"

    Oh, come on! Of course this is what happens when the developers insist on always-online, even for single-player... Gorram lag!

    Seriously, this would be freaky as hell. Reality is not meant to stutter like a lagging videogame.

    Trippy. Cue the 'Doctor Strange' movie soundtrack!

    Now, who do we know who can play around with time like this?;)

    Time Trapper. Should have known. I wonder if it's still Mandated-Paul.

    Time to get angry.

    Nice to see how quickly he's got the knack of constructs.

    Argh, retcon-defenses? Now that's cheating!

    Care to try that again in linear-time English, please?

    Ah, it is Mandated-Paul. And that's too awkward. I shall call him Maul.

    Well, of course he does, you have the same metaknowledge of DC.

    I sense a bit of off-screen mayhem. Hopefully we'll get told it if or when we need to know.

    "Wait, what?"

    I'm guessing he didn't have time to do research before all this started...

    And watch him facepalm at his own hastiness.

    Well, given that he's got an environmental field and constructs within 30 seconds of putting the ring on... He's got this. And Maul is going to be very glad this OL was mono-focused on Ring mastery.

    So... Things are about to get trippy. Time to cue up all your favourite 'getting high' music tracks on shuffle... And it's confirmed that the Blue Hand is Krona. Short version for the latecomers: Crazy Maltusian Super-scientist who wants to know the secrets of the universe.

    ...with deleterious mental effects…
     
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  8. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Zoat did say once, or I think he said once, that the paragon was going to get another colored ring that would be more trouble than it is worth.

    When he and Zatanna went to -14 I thought they were going to get the Gauntlet of Volthoom, Power Ring's gauntlet.
    Apparently it can make its wielders more stubborn and seeing as paragon can be pretty stubborn sometimes him becoming even more under the influence of the gauntlet would be more trouble than it is worth.
     
  9. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  10. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    How would everyone feel if Paul attempts to call an orange ring from across the galaxy, alerting any Larfleeze analogues, once the jig is up and the spy mission turns into a battle?
     
  11. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Aside from Green Lantern Jade, Anti Green and his Jade and Clayface who else got snatched by Krona?

    Wonder if there is going to be an interlude chapter for how the others were snatched?

    Zoat is this going to be a two parter episode?

    How many chapters is this episode, and the next one if it is a two parter, going to contain?
     
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  12. Prognostic Hannya

    Prognostic Hannya Knight of the Yuri Crusade

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    He could probably make a ring with Canon Alan-level channeling abilities.

    Although, Paul should be able to do that on his own. I think he's underselling himself when he calls himself an "enlightened avarice mystic", I mean his freaking soul is made up from orange light, and it's so spiritually weighty that he can understand New God speech. He's basically an avarice deity at this point. Maybe even something more; he's more connected to avarice than Eris is to chaos (her soul gets read in the Queen of Fables arc, and it's still made of earthly magic at its core).

    Does he even have to inhabit a body anymore? I know PaulSnek couldn't leave a summoning circle on earth in the War in Heaven arc, but he was just fine in a high-magic environment like the Silver City. I hope we get to see Paul get merc-ed, go snek-mode and heal up the dead body, and then leap right back in. I love seeing Paul's gradual ascension in the cosmic/spiritual hierarchy as time goes on, it's probably my favorite part out of all my favorite parts of this fic.

    Also, not gonna lie and say I don't wanna see the meeting between Paul and Grayven, but holy shit it would be so funny if Zoat spent all this time building up these various alternate Pauls, and planning their abductions, and then one of the main characters of the story goes "huh that was weird" and then shrugs and gets back to pony-ing.
     
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    That's four. You get two.

    And don't think I missed what you said about preferring Life Ore Death.
     
  14. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    That's what he gets for storing everything in his ring storage. One would think he would have learned by all the times he couldn't use his ring, lost power, had his ring stolen and so on.

    Grayven? He has two different rings, two different lanterns as power sources, the sword of the Fallen and a Mother Box. Plus whatever power of Harmony was engraved in his soul.

    Was Grayven version of Jade stolen?

    That fic is easy to hate for... reasons. Still better that being crossover overdosed but I prefer way more the Dragon Slayer (Fairy Tail) or the one with the guy who glued a fire elemental copse to his soul than FOD.

    I am gonna be honest here, without Grayven I would have quit reading this fic when Paragon started his Lazarus pits experiments and didn't stop when he started to get demons.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2020
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  15. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Is this going to be a two parter episode?

    How many chapters is this episode, and the next one if it is a two parter, going to contain?

    I actually like Life Ore Death because of the fact that it gives a lot of focus on the other characters, aside from the mc, and how they develop, still prefer your story though.

    It can a bit difficult to understand, because I'm not that much of a Mistborn fan, but it is still enjoyable.

    The fic where the mc glues a fire elemental to his soul is called 'Pyroclasm'.
    Sadly I think it's dead.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2020
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  16. Z3r0Sama

    Z3r0Sama Not too sore, are you?

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    Can't wait for paragon to meet the Gravy and realise that while he's a bigger asshole he also trumps him when it comes too interpersonal relationships.
     
  17. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    If this was anything other then a self insert I would say you were fucked.
     
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  18. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    The paragon may not meet renegade seeing as renegade stabbed Krona in the finger.

    Krona may not try to get renegade again if the Sword did some serious damage.

    Seeing as Maltusians aren't fully arcane he may have just suffered some minor damage, but seeing as the Sword was made from some VERY bad shit and Hinon could sense that something was unique about it, the damage may be more than just a flesh wound, though if Krona sensed what it was he could be afraid of it.
     
  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Haven't decided yet. Maybe. I'll see how long it takes to tell the story.
    40-50.
    You know what I think it is?

    You ask me plenty of questions about things that don't really matter in the narrative. I gave up on Life Ore Death after the... Third multi-thousand word post on the mechanics of Mistborn magic that had nothing to do with the plot. Once the main character joined the team, she got access to just about any non-nuclear metal she wanted. The mechanics don't matter for her power any more on the strategic level because she's sidestepped the limiting factor, not teaching anyone else and not trying to learn new magic systems.

    You on the other hand love that sort of extraneous detail. Which is fine, there's no objectively correct way to read fiction. But that story does probably suit you more than this one will.
     
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  20. Senevri

    Senevri Not too sore, are you?

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    Well. Artificial hard mode is a go!

    Maybe the lightness of Orange insanity is part of the nerf? I don't think Lanterns do that much planet-hauling or time travel either in this story.
     
  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    40 to 50 chapters.

    If it isn't a two parter then this could be the longest single episode since 'Aberration', which had around 30 chapters and a few supplementary ones about the paragon
     
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  22. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    What a magnificent turn of events. I'm excited to see where this goes, especially OG!Paul's development with Violet light.

    that -> than (?)
     
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  23. Phrexia Unbound

    Phrexia Unbound Oooh...that's good.

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    He's the Hypothetical Paul who upon entering the DC Multiverse, boinked Arcane into oblivion by complete happenstance and assumed direct control of The Rot as it's Champion.

    Well it's not like he can put Animal Man or Swamp Thing out of a job now, is it?
     
  24. lancelot

    lancelot Grand High Poobah

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    Oh come the fuck on with this bullshit I'm already pissed off by the contrivance of it all.
     
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  25. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    So Time Trapper Paul has adopted comic book thinking

    Having an ally leave his most powerful weapon behind because they don't have time to get it is classic comic book logic.

    Granted if he has been trying to stop the destruction of his universe for so long he could be a bit on edge and not thinking clearly.
     
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  26. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

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    Veeeery trippy but neat I suppose

    When I first read this I just frowned but put it out of my mind and kept reading...

    ... And then I got to this part and realised that the MC has orange quotation marks. How the hell did I miss it? I read 'Ghia'ta' and (since I tend to associate her with Grayven side of the coin and since we just had a Grayven fighting off the GBH) I thought I was reading Grayven's pov. And then he mentioned being concerned about Alan's health in present tense as the reason he never borrowed his ring.

    What's up with that btw? Isn't Alan's ring effectively blue? How would borrowing it help him experience what wielding a green one would be like?

    This reminds me of that Starcrossed scene with Batman-50 and Stewart-50: "You didn't even check if he had his ring on?!" or right colour ring on in this case :D

    Ok, this should be interesting...

    Um... Are you referencing some WoZ I missed or what? I don't remember anything like this being discussed?

    You're saying that like Paragon didn't adopt comic book thinking as well.

    Especially when you have time control as your power :) But we can't have Pavlos have this too easy can we now. It wouldn't be comic booky
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2020
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  27. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    The blue ring was once a green one and in the comics they can synergy with each other so maybe learning how to wield one can help you wield the other.

    Also I think paragon was speaking about just generally wielding a diffrent colored ring without any speciifc color in mind, just diffrent from orange
     
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  28. Agumentic

    Agumentic Not too sore, are you?

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    Not because they don't have the time to get it, because they can't risk acting too much and having Krona detect them. Which is a pretty valid concern, comic books or not.
     
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  29. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

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    Wait, doesn't he always have multiple orange rings on? He took off one... Never mind, this is one of those unskippable 'No-Gear' levels you just have to grit your teeth through.
     
  30. Lothlo

    Lothlo Not too sore, are you?

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    Wishful thinking. ParagonPaul meets with ErosPaul and interchange rings temporarely during the battle cause it suits them better at their current moment. Best part would be if they talk about the divergence between universes and PPaul finds out ErosPaul has been banging a lot of women (from doing a trio, to H.Queen to whoever else he can mention) and that would help as a future teaser on ErosPaul adventures. Wishful thinking...
     
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