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[NSFW]Bare Beginnings (M!Taylor)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Aryton, Apr 22, 2020.

  1. Aryton

    Aryton Getting sticky.

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    Last edited: Apr 22, 2020
    Christopher Tate likes this.
  2. Ashenerden

    Ashenerden Not too sore, are you?

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    I liked it, well written and without overt errors AFAIK. Too short chapters kinda suck though. I will be waiting for the rest of the story.
     
  3. Aryton

    Aryton Getting sticky.

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    Thank you for your feedback. As I mentioned in the intro, its literally my first time writing a Worm fanfic. It's for entertainment of the readers, so I'll only expand the story based on reader responses. If it doesn't generate interest then I won't continue.
    If readers want larger chapters then I will be happy to oblige- it all depends on the feedback I get.
    And I will keep your suggestion for larger update in mind if and when I write next the chapter.
     
  4. Grek

    Grek (she/her)

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    If this is NSFW, should it not be in the NSFW section?
     
  5. Aryton

    Aryton Getting sticky.

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    It's not really that much of a heavy NSWF. I put it here expecting moderaters to decide. They kept in this section. NSWF tag was there just to be on the safe side. But if people complain then it will be moved to it.
     
  6. Ashenerden

    Ashenerden Not too sore, are you?

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    Watch it punk was not good enough for the scene, probably should have used "Out of my way"
    Tattoo is with two o's. Why would a teenager nazi put an offensive tattoo on his shaved head? He probably would put 88 or SS something like that.

    The gangs devided, scuffled and spread misery. This sentence is kinda pointless, you may as well check it out.

    The authorities looked the other way from their ivory towers.Impotent.Ineffective.
    The authorities are looking the other way from their ivory towers, it means they are not impotent they are choosing to do nothing. Impotent and ineffective doesn't make sense after that sentence. Just choose are they weak or corrupt?

    the animal that fancied themselves to play violent vigilante....
    fancied themselves a vigilante would be better. Even Hess wouldn't think "I should be a violent vigilante" seeing as he feels the violence is just business as usual.

    Annette becoming a whore and Taylor tolerating it. That's really strange to me. I can't understand it in a million years. Why not you know leave?
     
  7. Aryton

    Aryton Getting sticky.

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    Thank you for your review. I am sorry if you find it offensive.
    Annette never became a "whore" in general. She is involved with one specific person that Taylor finds intolerable. I clearly stated that she is still a college professor.
    Thank you for pointing out my grammatical errors, English is not my first language so it is a little hard.
    Are you asking me to leave the forum and delete my story or asking why does Taylor not leave his home?
     
    Akuma-Heika likes this.
  8. Akuma-Heika

    Akuma-Heika The Devil Exists Within

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    Curious about who Annete is sleeping with, especially if Taylor's comment about her starting before Danny's funeral is right.

    That doesn't mean sex work is impossible (and very well could indicate a number of options for her clients [likely fellow faculty rather than students {staff maybe}]). I thought it was clear, what you meant though, but whore does specifically mean a sex worker, and someone calling their own mother that is something that could be considered excessive, so I can see how they could have come to that conclusion.

    Keep of the excellent work.
     
  9. Aryton

    Aryton Getting sticky.

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    Thank you for your review.
    All in good time. Suffice to say, Taylor does not know who it is or why. And please follow the link to the NSFW section. I will reply there from now on.