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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Gantradies

    Gantradies Not too sore, are you?

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    somewhere, possibly just on the other side of a nearby wall, Eris has literally collapsed to the ground in the midst of an uncontrollable fit of laughter, hasn't she?
     
    ashadowalker, Caerwen, Darko and 4 others like this.
  2. Kalem_Lee

    Kalem_Lee Well worn.

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    Paul probably left dead skin cells in the spiracle...

    Oh god...
     
  3. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Really Zoat when did turn into Game Of Thrones Power Ring edition?
     
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  4. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    So what happens when Arachne finds out that she has a shot?
    Seriously though, this is a refreshing new angle, and I enjoy dadpaul arcs.
     
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  5. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    Gotta say, this is an awesome twist that we should have seen coming. I thought that this part was going to be one of those fillers, just some humor where I can't get the joke... but this is a direction I definitely endorse. I wanna see the Illustres surrounded by a lot of little Orange Guilders, all calling him daddy, being compatible with the light of avarice and wanting his approval! I'm already laughing just imagining it, this is glorious!

    Seriously, the Illustres needs to go back to having space adventures, the stuff on Earth lately has been not as entertaining and, the King Comic stuff, the shit in Brazil, Nazigirl, more of a chore overall.
     
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  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I really want OL to bring at least some of his children to Earth with him, it would be wonderful.

    If there is anyone that has taught us that just because somethings origins are extremely weird and somewhat disgusting, that doesn't mean that that something can't become a beloved characters, it would have to be Roger Smith and his baby Rogu.

    I mean just look at this:



    He can even get help from his new Guilder children, like how Rogu helped Roger against Stan.

    Let's just hope he doesn't lose control of all of them like Steve did.

    The last thing Paul needs on his plate right now is having his children becoming giants and sticking people up their asses.

     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2020
    Ngamer11 and Cuchulin like this.
  7. Threadmarks: Plutonian (part 3)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    12th April
    13:07 GMT +3








    "HAHAHAHAHA!"















    "Pavlos?"











    "Are-? Are you alright?"













    12th April
    10:08 GMT


    I appear in the Spider Guild's base, physical Koriand'r replacing construct Koriand'r.

    "Lantern Koriand'r, could-."

    The young Guilder jumps at me, and I gently catch… Her? In a construct bubble.

    "Could you please explain this?"

    The young Guilder waves all four of her forelimbs at me.

    "Hello Daddy!"

    "Rather urgently."

    "The Spider Queen is an expert in biological engineering-."

    "No. No. There is no way that human and Guilder genetics are similar enough to make hybridisation possible even if she somehow got a genetic sample from me, and I don't think that she ever got the opportunity."

    "No, she-"

    The young Guilder tries running up the side of the bubble, fails, then tumbles backwards to the bottom.

    "Owie."

    "-was created by the Queen. She designed the child's mind based on the lessons you wrote in the book you gave her. Her intent was to create someone who would instinctively make a good Orange Lantern."

    "Okay, that's-"

    I take a moment to get a better look at the young Guilder as she picks herself up. Now that I look, there are several divergences between her morphology and a typical Guilder. No hair, though that could just be an age thing. The hard edges of her carapace are smoother and more rounded, and rather than a dull yellow-brown she's a more appealing peach.

    "-not too surprising." Considering what I did in the time that I was here, it makes perfect sense that she'd want someone to join us if that was at all possible. That wasn't why I gave her the book, but from her point of view creating a specialised strain makes more sense than teaching a non-specialised individual. "Why is she calling me 'Daddy'?"

    The Guilder in question gets her feet back under her and stands facing me.

    "Because I need to be the bestest Lantern ever and that means I need to learn from you!"

    "Okay! Okay. Okay. Congratulations, you made about a hundred Themyscirans laugh harder than they have in over a thousand years."

    She moves her pedipalps into a configuration which makes it look like she's smiling.

    "Yay!"

    "However, I will warn you now that if I decide to offer you a ring-" And if I don't and Dox hears about this then he will. "-it will not be until you are physiologically mature."

    "Not-yay!"

    Ring, updated internal map… Thank you.

    "Lantern Koriand'r, can I assume that you brought this matter to my attention the moment you found out about it?"

    She nods. "That is what I did."

    "Thank you, that was the correct thing to do." She smiles. "I'm going to talk to the Queen now. You're free to remain, or attend to your other duties."

    "I.. think that I would like to remain."

    "Very well."

    I rise off the floor of… Looks like a… Gymnasium? And head out into the main corridor, the young Guilder's bubble floating along-

    "Wee!"

    -beside me. The facility has grown since my last visit, but they appear to be expanding their facilities on the surface rather than digging down further. That makes sense; they don't feel the need for kilometres of rock between them and a potential orbital bombardment. And it makes it easier for them to offer additional services to their customers.

    I wonder if they've considered a space elevator? Or several? Moving large quantities of raw material into orbit costs a lot of energy if you're using teleporters. Though I.. suppose that they don't have a lot of the restrictions on energy generation techniques that I'm used to on Earth.

    "Young lady, what-"

    "Yes, Daddy?"

    "-is-? Why are you calling me that?"

    "Because you're the bestest-."

    "Plenty of Lanterns think that I'm the best and want to learn from me without calling me 'Daddy'."

    "You told Mummy what to put in me! There's no way Mummy would have made me if she hadn't met you."

    "She might have made a Guilder like you who had completely resolute will instead."

    "And then she could call Green Man 'Daddy' or Guy Gardner 'Daddy'. I think he'd be a good Daddy. But she wouldn't be me, and the first thing I want is to exist."

    "Existing is generally a good place to start. Did the Queen mention that I can see other people's emotions?"

    "It was in the book."

    We fly over a group of Guilders, whose mandibles click nervously when they see me.

    "So..?"

    Her body droops.

    "So you can see the real reasons why I want things."

    "And?"

    "And I call you 'Daddy' to try and make you feel responsible so that you'll agree to teach me."

    "Please remember that I don't like people lying to me."

    "And the real reason why I'm this colour and why my face looks like this is so you'll find me cute!"

    "That's an uphill struggle you've got there. Couldn't the Queen have altered your physiology more radically? There are plenty of humanoid species with pseudo-insectoid physiological traits."

    "But that wouldn't help the rest of the Nest! If I don't look like a Spider they'll just say 'oh, some random humanoid did something good' and keep on thinking that the Spider Guild is evil!"

    "The Spider Guild does eat people."

    "Then I need to show them a new way of doing things, too!"

    We reach the outer blast door leading to the Queen's chamber, and I land in front of the guard.

    "I think you know why I'm here."

    They cringe slightly.

    "The Queen will see you at once."
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2020
  8. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    struggle
     
  9. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'Are smoother' not 'and smoother'
     
  10. Whenever Possible

    Whenever Possible Versed in the lewd.

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    That's adorable. I wonder how spoder!daughter is going to end up compared to psychic-demigod!daughter.
     
  11. Axel Fones

    Axel Fones Versed in the lewd.

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    This is hilarious and adorable and just all around the best thing ever. What perfect timing.
     
  12. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    maybe 'a completely resolute, instead of just 'completely resolute'
     
  13. Baladar

    Baladar Know what you're doing yet?

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    My life is complete now.
     
  14. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    :eek: ... P... Protecc...

    Protecc! PROTECC! PROTECC!
     
  15. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    maybe instead of 'fails' it could be 'falls', though it does sound fine.
     
  16. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    I really really like her.
     
  17. Dragonvx100

    Dragonvx100 Not too sore, are you?

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    Oh my gosh, I'm loving this spider.
     
  18. SotF

    SotF And Away We Go!

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    And Paul is never going to live this one down
     
  19. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    It would appear that the adorable act is working on the majority of the readers.
     
  20. Baladar

    Baladar Know what you're doing yet?

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    "Yay" said spider Fluttershy/Dorn.
     
  21. Ganurath

    Ganurath Apologizes For Nothing

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    Rise off, not rise of.
     
  22. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    She is precious :3

    In a completely, transparently obvious manipulative way! Which is adorable :D

    Now Paul has his own spider-woman to teach!

    Spider-Guilder. Spider-Guilder. Does whatever. An Orange Lantern can. Will she bake cake? We will see. Look out. Here comes the Spider-Guilder!

    Spider Guilder: "Owie!"
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2020
  23. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Zoat on the Ways and Means episode on chapter 4 where Hinon talks about Controller protocol and customs she says 'is the more usual'
    It should be 'is the more usual" '. You missed adding " at the end of that sentence.

    Paul needs to treat this very carefully. Remember what those Custodians said to Kitten, sometimes a loving parental authority can be all that can stand between the forces of evil.
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2020
  24. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    She reminds me of Novelty from the Mother of Learning and that is a fantastic thing
     
  25. Baladar

    Baladar Know what you're doing yet?

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    Also it took Mr Zoat almost seven years, since the story was first posted on 14/8/2013, for his SI to have a child.

    Congratulations, you are not a Mary Sue.
     
  26. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    Dox: Why didn't I think of genetically engineering ideal Orange Lanterns?
     
  27. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Ok if this gets back to Earth someone down there needs to make this into a show for children.
     
  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Well at least they won't be having those problems of finding new recruits now that the Queen can basically grow them.
     
  29. Citizen

    Citizen Well worn.

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    I wonder what the second hardest laugh Themascyra has had was.
     
  30. SotF

    SotF And Away We Go!

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    Grayven did have a few adopted ones a while back though
     
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