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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Threadmarks: Plutonian (part 21)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    12th April
    12:04 GMT -5


    "Mother Star, huh?"

    I glance around from my workbench in the Mountain as Guy leans against the wall near the door. Then I turn back to my equipment, slotting a new kuru pendant into the thinkers cap currently plugged into my brain and

    remembering.

    Guy frowns at the device, eyes flickering green as he tries to make sense of it.

    "Thought that thing wasn't ready fer the big time."

    "The neural hook ups are constructs. I can just reset the physical structures of my brain when I want to disconnect. I've been thinking of integrating one into my armour, but it never seemed worth all the time I'd need in order to learn to use it well."

    He nods.

    "You know somethin'? This is the most Star Hunters the Green Lantern Corps has seen since the big war. Guess that's Earth for yeh."

    He waits for a moment to see if I want to respond. When I don't, he looks away for a moment.

    "We're takin' 'em. They can all sit in a sciencell fer the rest of forever."

    "To what end?"

    "Keeps 'em outta the way." He looks at me out of the corner of his eyes. "Burning 'em up would save space, yeh, but the war finished a long time ago."

    I nod sadly

    as I focus on the network of separate but related desires that the Mother Star remembered from when the war was at its height.

    "It took me a while to work out how a creature that big could exist."

    "Telekinetic, right? Holdin' itself together?"

    "No. That sort of system could work, but I got pretty good scans of its neurology and I don't think it had the equipment."

    "Well don't keep a guy in suspense. Spill it, already."

    "I looked back over the records of Star Conqueror victims. The patterns of damage in long term hosts, the psychological effects of short term control, and the meaning of the runes they used on the ClusterShip."

    He nods.

    "Yeah? You find somethin' nobody else did?" He nods slowly as he works it out. "Magic, 'cause if it was anything else, the Guardians woulda found it." He frowns. "But you 're goin' on 'bowt how yeh can't use magic away from a planet-." He raises his eyebrows. "The starfish cracked it?"

    "To a very basic level, yes. You see, when they did brain scans on the long term victims, they decided they were.. vegetables. Random flares of disorganised activity. No person left. But there's no.. obvious reason for Star Conquerors to keep any higher functions in their victims. They don't need them. If anything, they get in the way."

    "Sooo?"

    "Sephtian took a look at the rig they had the Russian cosmonauts in. Apparently they were using it to make them dream."

    "And magic comes from dreaming, right?"

    "Sort of. And yes, that’s what I think they do. They use a whole lot of thralls all dreaming whatever they're told to dream, and use that to create… Really big Star Conquerors, with… Their own thaumic.. zones… Fields… Which… Is an interesting bypass."

    "So what does that mean fer us?"

    "There are people who specialise in dream magic. If we hire them, we can probably track down the last few Star Conquerors on Earth a lot more easily. Perhaps more to the point for me-."

    "You think you can get magic workin' in space with.. dreams? I don't think people are gunna sign up for starfish facials."

    "We could probably build something to replicate the effect. If we can study it in detail. Are the Green Lantern Corps planning to throw it into the sun?"

    "Nah. Though it could be a tourist attraction. 'Come to Earth: we have giant starfish'."

    "I… Don't think Earth needs any more alien visitors for a little while."

    Though at least it's lit a fire under certain people's bottoms. Despite rumblings to the contrary, the Democratic party nominated President Horne as their candidate. He's made some noise about encouraging private space exploration, which is apparently the quickest that he's ever responded to anything. Senator Knight doesn't quite have the Republican nomination yet, but he's loudly announced his intention to throw money at NASA in order to catch up.

    "Think you're right." He frowns. "What happened to that Khan moron?"

    "His insurance doesn't cover Star Conquerors. He quit." I pull his ring out of my equipment harness and put it on the work bench. "One orange ring, slightly used. There is an actual L.E.G.I.O.N. fleet heading this way, but if you know anyone who's in the market..?"

    "You'll prob'ly trip over someone too dumb to say 'no' before too long." He looks around my workshop. "So what's got you so bent outta shape?"

    "It kept the dreams of every species the Star Conquerors ever destroyed. It had specialised brains for holding on to every feeling and fantasy they ever had. The last-."

    I feel the feedback change as the pendant is filled. I pull it out, put it in the case with the others and slot in a new one.

    "The last living testament of all of those civilisations. As it was dying I.. looked… I doubt that I got more than a tiny fraction. And I'm not sure whether or not the Mother Star really… Understood that it was killing them."

    "They'd prob'bly all be dead by now anyway." Guy shrugs. "That thing went inta the ice over a million years ago. That kinda time, wouldn't even be ruins left."

    "The Maltusians survived that long, but that's not the point. I just saw every record erased. Not because of anything I did; once we freed the ClusterShip's crew it was going to die, and we couldn't let it go."

    "You're just bummed out."

    "Yeah." I exhale. "Though since we know that interstellar magic is possible now, I'm going to talk to King Cyprian and King Orin about making it a joint research project. If we crack this… All sorts of things are possible."
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2020
  2. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Guy doesn't use the internet all that often, does he?

    There are all sorts of people there, including ones that would accept a starfish facial.

    Just make sure they know what it entails, you don't need to confuse them like how Frank and Charlie were mistaken about the creampies Mac and Dennis were looking at.:D

    Wanted to post the video here, but there were some images I was worried would break the no modern politics rule, so sorry.

    'the Star'

    Any hints on what tomorrows alternates universe is going to be?
     
  3. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Well, that's sad. The last record of entire races gone like tears in the rain.

    Good on Paul for trying to preserve what he can.

    And long range magic...well, the options are limitless.

    As long as they can prevent Hell from spreading...
     
  4. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    So, what you're saying is, you can get a tattoo array on Ares done so he draws his power from the Dreaming, and then bring him into the Reach War, so he's no longer on earth bothering people? And he can be further fueled from earth, through the dreaming, by people worshipping him as the God of War who is protecting freedom by annihilating the Reach?

    Even if the basic idea requires a few small work arounds somewhere?
     
  5. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Congratulations, in your attempt to retcon how the Giant Starfish worked because you didn't like them having OP telekinetic powers, you just created a "Chicken or Egg" causality dilemma in concerns to their very existence.

    Well, I guess Senator Knight just won the Presidency.
     
  6. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    That's not an issue, Hell is galactic/universal anyway. It was shown that as far away as Thanagar they knew who The First was, and had demons.
     
  7. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Multiversal not Universal, lets see if I can find that Chart.
    [​IMG]
     
  8. Simonbob

    Simonbob Really? You don't say.

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    I find it hilarious that posting politics is worse than porn, on QQ.







    I'm easily amused, I guess.
     
  9. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    The big problem with that map, is it was made for some nonsense fanfic. But yeah, probably Multiversal, aye.
     
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  10. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Actually that's one of the official DC Map's of the Multiverse.
     
  11. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Paul has been wanting to get magic users in the Corps, plus he has hired people that make Ares look like an innocent pacifist.

    It would be useful to get someone of Ares' power on their side.

    He can actually contribute to the good guys, like his New 52 self and Marvel counterpart.

    There is this omake in the The Dark Shard story by theirishdreamer on SB where a future version of Ares fights the Reach, if anyone's interested. It's in the sidestory part called One Bad Future: The Monsters We Create.

    I think that the first Star Conqueror appeared when those aliens were telepathicly linked to each and it appeared out of the Dreaming for some reason, and after that it had them do something similar to make more of itself.

    Plus if this things comes from the Dreaming then logic isn't exactly something that can all that easily be applied to it.

    He hasn't even been nominated yet, but he'll probably win if he is, yes.

    Zoat did say that the First can travel to other planets, and some aliens did seem to know who he was.

    But if you're talking about those things that showed up in this story on Thanagar being demons from the Abrahamic Hell, then I don't think you're right about that.

    When OL was talking to that shaman woman she told him that not all malicious spirits come from that place.

    The Seven Devils were probably just Old Gods and their altered servants, while evil, were not Abrahamic demons.

    Hell may also be confined to just Earth in this universe and not to other universes, depending on how Zoat wants to make it.
     
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  12. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Oh, it was created pre-2011? My mistake.
     
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  13. Flux Casey

    Flux Casey The Colonel

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    So... This entire arc was for the sake of getting magic to work in space. Maybe. Eventually.

    ... Yeah. I think I'm done with this story. At least for a little while. When it's good, it's good. But I think, since Nabu was dealt with (or maybe since the OLC was founded, I forget which came first) the plot has just kind of been a meandering mess. There's no real narrative thrust to latch on to. The protagonist's goals are so nebulous and abstract that it's incredibly difficult to get invested in anything he does. This is not helped by how often he's approached situations as 'not my problem' as of late. It was an interesting character piece how he washed his hands of Gotham after one night, but it made him a pompous prig how he conveyed it.

    His approach to Aquaman implies he doesn't actually care about people in the slightest, even the ones genuinely doing their best. He got slapped in the face with the idea that yes, the setting is run on narrativium, everyone slides back into the status quo easily, and no one is prepared to put on their big boy pants and make a change. Armed with that knowledge, he then tears Aquaman down for not knowing about the problems in Atlantis that no one told him about, doesn't try to offer even token assistance for the problems he exacerbated until one of his friends asks him what the fuck.

    And then we have Manga Khan. A deeply muddled attempt at giving the Earth a kick in the pants to get onto the galactic stage. The one caused by the protagonist's aforementioned exacerbation of the Atlantis situation, a direct result of the slapdash management style of the organisation he created. And he washes his hands of it, ostensibly after getting frustrated from one meeting of the Security Council where he started banging his head on the desk.

    He's going for the 'help those who help themselves' approach but it leaves him so hands-off with every situation that isn't his direct goal (whatever his direct goal is, I'm still not entirely sure), that the story might as well be told from another perspective. At least other characters are actually doing things occasionally.

    TL;DR: Paul needs a coherently conveyed near-term goal that the audience can care about. The story needs a worthwhile plot hook. In other words, I need a reason to give a shit about what's happening.

    'Til then? ... Peace.
     
  14. Mquz

    Mquz Versed in the lewd.

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    In America? Private space exploration actually seems to be more popular (though this is the opposite of which party would support which candidate based on this - privatized businesses are more of a republican thing.
    Also, not a chicken or egg dilemma - they used magic to create a magical flying starfish capable of space magic. They were using magic from the Dream before that though on theIr original planet - might have been able to make anything they want so decided to make a space starfish. Basically - they have the ability to use the dream to materialize whatever they make people dream about.
     
  15. Belenus

    Belenus Versed in the lewd.

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    Porn has less bad acting and fewer unlubed assholes.
     
  16. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Yes, it was a hell of a day. You missed out on some shit.

    Interesting. Using the Thinking Cap to improve his recall of the experience, then transferring it into data on the pendants? Like a telepathic recording.

    I'm sure it's fine for short periods, especially when you can just reset your brain like OL can.

    Plus, the whole eventually going crazy thing. Or in OL's case, crazier.

    Yes, yes, Earth is an anomalous blip on the universes' probability curve. We all know this.

    Surprising, Not just going to execute them? Then again, the Guardians seem to prefer live convicts to dead ones.

    And there's no way of telling if any of the Starros involved in this were part of that. Likely not given most are clones.

    That's going to make for some trippy data for the Controllers...

    Could someone hold themselves that way telekinetically for days, months, even years?

    Please do share with the class, OL. We're on the edge of our seats.

    And what did he find? Something the Guardians would never have considered because... Oh-ho...

    The Starros cut and pasted their dreams into the Star Mothers? They were big enough to qualify as entire continents' worth of minds, after all.

    Or more specifically, The Dreaming. So the Star Mothers were made to channel that energy...

    It means the Starros have a whole set of weaknesses no-one's realised exists...

    Nah, they showed that sort of thing can be jury-rigged. All you need to do is refine that tech.

    Unless they're Superheroes. Humans understand Superheroes just fine.

    Privatised and decentralised, versus government-controlled. Interesting conflict.

    Always useful to have spares for recruiting drives, since the Orange Corps isn't sending them seeking yet.

    Whole worlds gone like mist in the morning sun. Suffering the worst fate anyone can: to be forgotten utterly.

    It may not even have recognised them as individuals. Starrros are very obnoxiously self-centred. Anything else is food or host, not a being worthy of consideration.

    Well, the Maltusians had advantages most races didn't. Especially ones like those conquered by the Starros.

    Something to encourage peaceful relations even after they formalise their secession? Worth trying.

    I'll admit, these last couple of Paragon episodes... Even as far back as 'Realigned', OL has felt... Too passive. He's riding along in his own story, coasting on neutral as he trundles from thing to thing. Ever since his run-in with Boss Smiley, in fact. I know Mr Zoat's a good enough writer that he might be going somewhere with this... But right now? He's just not as interesting as Grayven or the many other Pauls...
     
  17. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Plus the people tend to be better to look at and you get a sense of completion when you finish watching porn.
     
  18. Onion

    Onion Making the rounds.

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    Hmhmhm, very nice, I wondered if you were gonna head that way when you started to talk about dreaming in the last few chapters. Nice little workaround.
     
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  19. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    As I said last night, that was just the Hatorei.

    Which is a very good thing, at least, if he also throws money at all the US Supertech programs.


    The Starro don't have an original planet, they are space born organisms.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2020
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  20. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    First of, him being flippant about Gotham was undestandable since he just had really bad day, plus the person he was being flippant to was Talia, who just a year ago was working for an organization bent on killing a large portion of the population, so he may find it difficult to show her respect. Most people don't show respect to former cultists who have a tendency to look down on them, which Talia tends to do.

    As for Atlantis, what makes you think the situation would have been better if OL didn't intervene?

    I think it may have been worse actually.

    OL didn't tell Cyprian to declare independence, the only political thing he did for him was act as a courier for him, just once.

    Cyprian may have declared independence whether or not OL ever came to him.

    Yes OL gave him some designs for the magic things Atlantis has been making, so now he may have felt more safe, but smaller and less advanced nations have resisted larger nations in the past, so he may have tried to do something like that, which would lead to a lot of deaths.

    Even if he gave his throne to Ptra the populace may not accept it.

    They've been told to distrust outsiders for decades and now suddenly one rules them.

    In that type of situation people tend to rebel and that can lead to war and deaths.

    Now with OL's help Venturia can peacefully secede and Aquaman gets a lesson on why he should more carefully manage his kingdom that didn't need to come about from war and death.

    OL may also partially blame Aquaman since even though his advisors not advising him is partially to blame, he did spend most of his time as king gallivanting with the League until OL maimed his brother.

    I am aware.

    In this story the Starros may have been creatures from the Dreaming and the planet where they appeared on could be considered their homeworld.

    And I think he was talking about the Hatorei when he mentioned making a giant starfish and original planet.
     
  21. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    I don't think there's much of an 'abrahamic hell' except in the minds of the inhabitants. Books of Magic showed us that there were many many different versions or visions of hell. Likely as many are there are sentients there to sentence there if unrepentent their reflectance bares.
     
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  22. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I was referring to and Abrahamic Hell as the one that was formed by the First of the Fallen after he was banished by God.

    Also the other hell's could have just been bad afterlives that serve a similar function to the Abrahamic one, but were not formed by the First
     
  23. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Khan's gone, the Legion fleet, assuming it still comes, is months away, and it's only a matter of days till Paul flits off somewhere else after whatever shiny thing catches his interest.

    What this means, is that unless Aquaman decides to sit on his ass doing nothing politics wise, which I will admit is a real possibility with the "static world" problem Zoat seems to be developing as a writer, by the time the Legion ships do arrive, it will be to a place reintegrated into Atlantis.
     
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  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    I've been watching a lot of Thorias Unlimited lately.
    That's actionable, so I'll see what I can do.
     
  25. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    Possible, but given that other planets have heard of the First of the Fallen, not likely. Especially since the First references Lucifer, and Lucifer references the Presence, and he owns the DC universe enough to be able to give Samael that letter of travel out of it.
     
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  26. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    If the rest of Atlantis attacks Venturia and occupies it then the fleet that comes is going to attack the rest of Atlantis, or OL, or some other Lantern will attack Atlantis, that's what Paul told Orin when they talked about this in the Low Politics episode.

    OL most likely left a communication device with Cyprian to contact the OLC in case they are attacked, so even if OL isn't there Dox can just send another Lantern to deal with it.

    The Venturians have been told for decades to mistrust outsiders.

    They aren't going to reintegrate in a few months.

    The First may be known on other planets, but those planets probably aren't connected to Hell like Earth is.

    Also the Presence, or whatever God is know in Earth 16, may not be the owner of this version of the DC universe, but more akin to an extremely powerful theurgist.

    Once asked Zoat if that was the case and I think he said maybe.

    Renegade also talked about how the depiction of God on Earth may not be actually about the Source as a whole, so there is the possibility that God may just be an extremely powerful theurgist.

    He may be the most powerful being in universe 16, but he may not have made it or own it.
     
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  27. fappingtoyourpost

    fappingtoyourpost Know what you're doing yet?

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    I would absolutely sign up for a 5 year Infinite Tsukuyomi for minimum wage + room & board, especially if you made sure my mind controlled body stayed in shape and the dreams weren't too unpleasant. I think a lot of humans would take that deal.
     
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  28. TheEyes

    TheEyes Well worn.

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    • Stop that
    FYI, you got the names backwards. Republicans are conservative, which in the US means they hate civilian government institutions and set them up to fail every time they can. NASA is a historically successful civilian government institution; thus the Republicans hate it and have done their best since the Berlin Wall fell to gut it and outsource the jobs to corporations; therefore "private space exploration". The exception here would be if Senator Knight is campaigning instead for a military-based Space Force; Republicans love military stuff, mostly because it's a giant pot of money that can be funneled to private military corporations.

    The Democrats are the ones who want to raise taxes to fund civilian government programs like NASA.
     
  29. norax1

    norax1 Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    Would be nice to see him improve education with schizo tech. (I think that would not count as politics)

    Or finally take over earth.

    Or improve the lives of everyone and make an utopia. And then have the problem that nobody leaves the house.

    Or invent decentralized internet, that can't be censored or restricted. Maybe with magic. (Goverments would fall. Racism would grow. And that is clearly too political.)

    Or just have him develop a technology/magic that will make many people unemployed. And riot/strike. (Could be too political)
    His magic teleportation should do that anyway. Or the purple heal ray. Or the bleed generators...

    Or combine all those, and have him develop an addictive magical VR educational multiplayer game. And nobody leaves home, cause the VR goggles keep them alive and well fed/hydrated.

    Or just show a week in OL's live, where he visits all his old/ongoing projects, and realizes nothing he did changed the world, yet. (Maybe it did, but we don't see that, if he fights off planets.)

    Well let him deal with consequences of his actions. Like introducing cheap energy makes it easier to build super weapons.
     
  30. Baladar

    Baladar Know what you're doing yet?

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    That bit about it not understanding.....that’s hitting all the buttons good Star Trek episodes it’s on me.

    Zoat you need to be paid for this.
     
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