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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    The "pull out of his ass" that I was talking about was.

    Time Travel.

    Teleporting through wards that just minutes ago he couldn't teleport through.

    Armor made out of material that's somehow immune to entropy that he designed in the few hours since he first encountered the weapons.

    Though on that note, Zoat invented Branding, it's not a canon ability of the orange light at all. And what's worse, he made it pretty much a no limit fallacy in that no matter how strong, smart, skilled, or otherwise powerful you are it can own the character.

    So yea, bad writing all around this chapter.


    And to those refusing to look at the story from an objective perspective, you should really stop criticizing people who do.
     
    Austin Pharos and drasteed like this.
  2. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Actually, it was used once by Larfleeze in the comics, when he used Green Lantern Stel to send a message to the Guardians after the Controllers tried to take the Orange Central Power Battery. Larfleeze presumably doesn't use it much because he prefers killing them and making them part of his Corps instead.
     
  3. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Along with all the weird shit in it.

    Nope.

    Actually I think he's acting more like the Master, one of the more jovial version at least.

    They have a lot of similarities.

    Both are sadistic megalomaniacs that want to cause pain and suffering to others.

    Maybe, but he can probably convince a few to follow him.

    If they have been rejected by their society then they may feel more resentful to them than they do to Melmoth, who they only know through history and stories rather than actually meeting him like the rest of their society, so they may not have any personal resentfulness towards him.

    If Paul takes him then it's possible it will be the Controllers version of a cell.

    Still they could just hand him over to the Columbians and let them kill him.

    He has harmed their society and he has committed multiple genocides and other horrible crimes.

    Hell given what he did to Aurakos and Aurakles they could also hand him over to the New Gods for trial.

    Or his version of 'helpfulness' may be very different.

    In Life Ore Death Hal Jordan talks to the Team about some of the other lights and rings and points out how the Indigo Light can be used for evil.

    Say the Joker got an Indigo ring, that would make him compassionate, but it would not necessarily change his stance that he's the only sane person around and to make everyone else sane he needs to hurt them. It may pain him to hurt them, but in the end he would see it as a necessary step to help them, like a parent disciplining their child, they may not want to do it, but they still have to for the good of the child.

    Good point.

    He may not have resistance against orange light, but he probably has some measures in place for mind control magic or tech.

    The comparison to the TARDIS and all the weird shit in it is getting more and more pronounced.
     
  4. Nervaqus987

    Nervaqus987 Well worn.

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    I'll make sure to do that as soon as I see one.
     
  5. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Oh you don't have to convince that he has used it previously, I remember those moments.

    However trying to convince Vaermina of this, even when you present evidence to him, is an exercise in futility that will get you nowhere.

    No matter what evidence and logic you present Vaermina will refuse to consider you are right in any way.

    If after a certain point you can't stand arguing with him and consider what he writes to be something you just can't look at anymore then just block him using the ignore option.

    Hmm, thanks for giving us a hint where this ability was used in the comics.
     
  6. Scholar of Time

    Scholar of Time Master of Lurking

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    Fixed that for you, Vaermina. ;)
     
  7. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Comma or colon.

    As far as I can tell, Melmoth's bases were never SHIELDED against greedyporting, only against scans. He couldn't teleport before because he didn't have any way to target -- little if any coherent, sophisticated desire structures that he would be able to recognize. When he finally did have enough of a scent to follow, it still required him leaving the field of engagement for a significant period of time (even if not the multiple hours necessary for the quintessence waveform scan) so he couldn't do it until the immediately urgent matters had been attended to.

    As for branding... even if Zoat invented it, it's a power that's entirely consistent with other known powers. There are very few canonical powers demonstrated for MOST of the ring colors, so in order to write a good story with an underrepresented color it's only natural that it would need fleshed out. If orange light can completely dominate someone's identity then only partially dominating it as a skill that takes more finesse is reasonable -- it would be stranger if it COULDN'T be done, if there was no in-between ground between a push and full assimilation.

    And it should be noted that there are canonical powers in the other colors that are in the same general vein. We've got specific examples of red inspiring rage in other people, and yellow and blue (and I think violet?) being able to go so far as rewrite parts of someone's mind. It's also canonically demonstrated that these techniques CAN be resisted with training.
     
  8. Fellow

    Fellow Know what you're doing yet?

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    Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.
     
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  9. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    How is Larfleeze's treatment going anyhow? Any significant progress or is he still detoxing?
     
  10. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

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    ikr. yeeesh its been so long since chunnin exam day.
     
  11. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Depends what you mean by 'official'. The SI called in 'Need' here because
    - Watsonian: it's one sylable and therefore easier to say
    - Doylist: I forgot what I called it last time
    but it's not as if that's the 'real' name. It's just what he happenmed to call it here.
    Thank you, corrected.
    He's moving around slightly more when prompted.
     
  12. AidanMorgan

    AidanMorgan Essentially Overworked

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    Indigo does a full on rewire of your emotions so you can only feel compassion.
     
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  13. Fellow

    Fellow Know what you're doing yet?

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    Is it bad that I actually kinda liked the story?
     
  14. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yes. Dreadful.
     
  15. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    The Honden also isn't your garden variety teleportation method, so Meltmoth may not have any methods to prevent someone from using it, likely because he didn't even know it existed.

    It may have been used in the comics according to this.

    I think violets trapped people in crystals and brainwashed them with the Violet light.
     
  16. BartlettMagic

    BartlettMagic peekaboo, you fucks you!

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    for the love of christ, assimilate him. he's a treasure trove of information on the Sheeda, and you know, gathering information about the Sheeda is the whole fucking point of this excursion. it would be pretty handy to have a ready-and-willing, 'no need to babysit and maintain a brand' encyclopedia of that knowledge.

    not to mention i bet some interesting/entertaining conversations could be had between OL and a non-hostile Melmoth.... kinda like Grayven and Sinestro.

    yes, i think i would like to hear an update back on Maltus from Hinnon. maybe a more fleshed-out description of Larfleeze's condition. and i've been on record before as wanting to know what the Ophidian thinks of living in the Orange Central Power Battery and having her own Corps. plus OL should probably talk to her or Hinnon about why the Ophidian wasn't present during the current mission.

    and while i'm whining in the dark, i might as well reiterate my desire to have the main man, the last Czarnian, Lobo, get some story time.
     
  17. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    I know, but I was specifically talking about powers that can be used by a ringslinger against an opponent.

    Yeah, I edited my post shortly after making it to correct my phrasing, but you happened to quote it before I did so.
     
  18. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    I gotta say, I'm extremely happy that this was the way that Melmoth got defeated. No overcoming of exotic defenses or trying to think of a way to bypass magical protections, no back and forth with the Illustres having to repair his armor/body and Melmoth running his mouth as he has been doing.

    Just... show up and demonstrate his control and mastery over mystical Lantern powers, that's it. I miss stuff like that, when the Illustres gets to really demonstrate that he's really on another level and unless the enemy is being extremely clever or has some narratively inspired cheat-power/weapon, they're going down in just a moment.
     
  19. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

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    no. i liked it too. until the 13 year old mc started adding tsunade and kurenai to his harem. he had a lot of wonderful ideas but then i dont know what happened.
     
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  20. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    The "brand" from Volume 4 Issue 39 was a message and a bomb that Larfleeze set on Stel after he tore him to pieces. It had no supernatural coercion abilities in the slightest. And couldn't just be placed on people, only Lanterns who's ring's the big giant head had consumed.

    It being able to be used on anybody, and it being able to mind break people, was something Zoat invented to give Paragon more power.

    It's a random unconnected power that's made the character boring and effectively unstoppable when paired with Zoat nerfing anything and everything that canonically is supposed to counter the orange light.
     
    drasteed likes this.
  21. The Unaligned Player

    The Unaligned Player Agony that desires to meet Extinction

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    Why are you still here?
     
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  22. AidanMorgan

    AidanMorgan Essentially Overworked

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    Spreading misery and discord.
     
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  23. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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  24. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Because this site encourages constructive criticism of stories on it?

    On that note however, why are you still here?
     
  25. nick012000

    nick012000 Gone for Good

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  26. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    You don't do constructive criticism, try again.
     
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  27. The Unaligned Player

    The Unaligned Player Agony that desires to meet Extinction

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    This story is one of the things that keep me from feeling completely empty on the inside.
     
  28. Nervaqus987

    Nervaqus987 Well worn.

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    Some day, people will learn to stop feeding the troll.
     
  29. BartlettMagic

    BartlettMagic peekaboo, you fucks you!

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    and someday, i'll get some fraggin' Lobo
     
  30. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Hopefully.

    Though I fear if we do Zoat will just have his SI mind fuck Lobo into an upstanding citizen or something.
     
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