1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. The testbed for the QQ XF2 transition is now publicly available. Please see more information here.
    Dismiss Notice

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

Loading...
  1. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    873
    Likes Received:
    3,602
    Extremely plausible in my opinion. And very likely too, assuming Paragon's Karmang is like Renegade's was.
     
    Old Knife and Cuchulin like this.
  2. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    1,714
    Likes Received:
    9,865
    I'm not sure how much Karmang has to learn.

    He's a 20 thousand year old sorcerer, and well magic is pretty good at psychic powers in DC.

    Take the wizard Jason Blood. His occult knowledge gives him telepathy, telekinesis, and clairvoyant powers, Peter Cannon-Thunderbolt also gained psychic powers from magical teaching.

    Of course, we don't know what magical avenues of research Karmang has pursued over the millenia, but I would think expanding one's own psychic powers is a natural progression.
     
    Wetbananas and Cuchulin like this.
  3. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,520
    Likes Received:
    20,763
    He will likely be only a little more powerful then your average Martian...

    Because anything else would make it impossible for Paul to beat him.
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  4. Threadmarks: Back Seat (part 21)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,696
    Likes Received:
    728,987
    6th July 2012
    19:12 GMT


    "You..? Managing alright there?"

    The Martian specialists are trying not to look at Adam as his telekinetic aura flares in a way which.. even I have to admit is uncomfortably reminiscent of a Burning Martian's skin. It's not exactly the same; he's not a shapeshifter and so his skin isn't joining in. I'm not sure why his telekinesis is acting up; this is supposed to be an exercise in mass telepathy. I don't think that 'psychic energy' is a thing -at least not with 'brain thing' telepathy- so there shouldn't be a 'power surge' from this…

    Adam's head turns towards me in a slow and.. frankly disturbing way, his aura wavering and sparking. If he starts to monologue about how 'all will be one with me' then I'm pressing the button on my psyshock bomb.

    **It's… Incredible. So many minds working in concert. So many viewpoints. Perspectives… Ways of thinking I've never considered before.**

    "And the Coluans? Have you been able to free any?"

    **Hm? Oh, no.**

    "Do you..? Need more time? More… Telepaths, networked?"

    The shield around Euphorix will be up for a few more days, but if he needs different styles of telepathy to attack the Computer Tyrants most effectively then keeping everyone here is perfectly manageable from a logistics viewpoint. The Computer Tyrants appear to have preferred living Coluans as region managers rather than robots, and as a result planned their calorie requirements around a somewhat active lifestyle. Keeping their vertical farms going and de-networking their robot workers has been simple enough.

    **No, that won't be necessary. Removing the Coluans in the way you suggested wasn't remotely feasible.** Oh. **Fortunately I had more than enough telepathic processing power under my control to just erase the thought engrams of the Computer Tyrants directly.**

    "Oh, they're… Gone?"

    **I'd be surprised if someone like Vril Dox didn't put a backup of their program somewhere, but they're no longer running on the Coluan organic network.**

    "And the Coluans?"

    **Still networked. I've sent groups of the Martians to free the first few groups. The Coluans are aware of their situation and we've agreed to a phased release.**

    "I'm sure that you've planned things properly. Is there a reason why you're glowing?"

    **Huh?**

    He looks himself over, suddenly a little more animated.

    **Oh. That. I think it's to do with how the parts of my brain responsible for my telepathy and my telekinesis are connected to each other. When I put a lot of effort into something, it triggers a response in the surrounding areas. Give me a moment.**

    He closes his eyes, breathes in deeply and then slowly breathes out, his aura fading as he does so. Eyes still closed he lowers himself to the ground, then opens them.

    "That was an interesting experience."

    "Worth leaving Tamaran for?"

    "Of course. A new planet, a new challenge, a new opportunity to help people." He looks over to where the Martian experts are… Rubbing their heads and generally acting like they've just come out of a daze. "Good work, fellas."

    **It was…** The Green member of the team appears to recover quickest. I suppose that when you mesh minds with thousands of people, not being a representative of a political class they hate makes it a little easier. **A unique experience.**

    "Oh, I… Spoke to Hera."

    Adam looks mildly curious. "That was quick."

    "She's working as a television presenter in Greece. She's not that hard to get hold of."

    "A television… And people don't notice that she's… Not human?"

    "If you met a man named Michael, would your first response be to check him for wings?"

    "No, I wouldn't, not unless there was something strange about him. She doesn't look..? Unusual? Godly?"

    "She looks like a middle aged divorcee who's still got her looks. Gods can't bring their full power with them into the material world. If you want to see her full majesty you'll have to transcend the physical with magic."

    "That didn't go too well for Semele."

    "Death isn't guaranteed. You'd just need to work on your metaphysical strength first. Learning magic could be a new experience for you."

    "It would be an interesting change of pace. So what did she say?"

    "She's… More 'curious' than 'interested', but she takes relationships seriously. She said that if you pick a date then she'll pick a location-. Ah, do you actually have any Earth money?"

    He chuckles to himself.

    "I had a small bank account when I left, so between inflation and being declared legally dead, probably not. But I've got rare metals and alien technology, so I doubt covering the check will be a problem."

    "Because I'm perfectly happy to pay you for this job."

    "Kinda undermines the heroism, wouldn't you say?"

    "Does it for the police and firefighters? Or soldiers?"

    "No, but they operate within a system of socially determined rules. I did this because it interests-."

    He takes a moment to look at the orange construct hearts rising from the top of my head, evaporating once they get a metre or so away. Being me, these constructs are anatomically-accurate hearts rather than cartoon ones, but Adam is an intelligent man.

    "Me. What… Is that?"

    "It's unusual, as a non-telepath, to hear my own thoughts coming from someone else's mouth." I dismiss them. "Have you considered trying out for an orange power ring?"

    "Non-telepathic mind altering artefacts and telepathy don't mix well."

    "Alright; I know someone who could help you monetise any raw materials or technology you bring back really easily, as well as giving you an overview on the state of technology on Earth. I'm sure he'd be able to find you projects that could hold your attention."

    "Ah, look. I don't have any problem with homosexuals and I'm sure you're a great guy, but I'm not one."

    Ah.

    "Ah. Sorry, I was… Clearly being a bit too enthusiastic, there. I have a girlfriend, she's not Canadian." He frowns. "Right, you… Weren't on Earth for-. There's a long-running joke about single men claiming that they have girlfriends in Canada."

    "Ah, okay. Why?"

    "I don't know. But uplifting the Earth has been a major project of mine, and I'm very enthusiastic about getting you on board."

    "I… Suppose that if I'm going to Earth anyway then there's no harm in meeting him."

    "Excellent! Now let's go and thank everyone for their help."
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2021
  5. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,289
    Likes Received:
    12,974
    "Ah cartoon hearts, that's so whimsical and HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE THOSE???"

    Also, it seems Pauls enthusiasm for uplifting gets confused for sexual interests by telepaths. It seems infrastructure projects really rev Pauls engine, if you know what I mean.
     
  6. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    873
    Likes Received:
    3,602
    Hahhaha, great update. And not just for the anatomically correct hearts. Loved Paul getting an emotional spectrum boner for his win getting Adam onboard. But also, wasn't it great to get the Computer Tyrants issue resolved so quickly. I wonder what's next...
     
  7. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,134
    Likes Received:
    320,293
    maybe remove the ;

    And we thought you learned that comic book universes are weird.

    'monologuing'

    'more effectively'

    'we've'

    'generally acting'

    'fellas'

    maybe 'minds'

    'a hold of'

    You're lucky you're dating an assassin or else others may be creeped out.

    Paul's idea of romance.

    Well he's at least as smart as Luthor, hell he's most likely smarter, has actual experience in uplifting a planet, and you don't have to hold his hand to make sure that he doesn't screw up because of all his hang ups and mental problems.

    If he was talking about Hera then it should be 'meeting her'

    Is the guy Paul is going to introduce him to in order to help him with tech and cash Ted Kord?

    What's the next episode called?

    Will it focus on paragon or renegade?

    Is Paul ever going to meet Michael?

    What about Lucifer?
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2021
  8. Flightless Man

    Flightless Man Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2020
    Messages:
    1,207
    Likes Received:
    19,728
    I am REALLY enjoying how you are handling Martians, and psychics. My own story is heavily involving them, and I love seeing how you have made such different, yet logical choices.
     
  9. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    2,149
    Likes Received:
    33,434
    Huh. Now the question begs, is this a good thing, or a bad thing? Is he even aware he's doing it? Is OL prepared to take him down if he goes all 'A God Am I!'?

    Good, at least that eventuality is prepared for... And with over a day to make those preparations, I have no doubt there's plenty of backup on hand.

    I can't help but 'hear' Adam's telepathy as a bassy rumble that would set your fillings rattling in person... Good to see him having fun, anyway.

    Because I'm sure a few more days won't hurt. If nothing else, give the Martian volunteers time to get more used to the Coulan mind-shapes.

    So things are in good shape for when the locals start waking up? That's a relief. There would always be the risk of famine if the Tyrants 86'd the food production systems.

    :eek: ... :confused: ...How.. anticlimactic. All he had to do.. was jack an Admin account and uninstall the Tyrants? :cool:

    There's still the risk that Tyrants downloaded themselves into someone's head, of course... But now they'll be one fleshy person amongst many. Not nearly the same level of threat unless they can reacquire network privileges... And no doubt the Coluans will be a lot more on the ball in that field...

    Huh. I suppose OL should be pleased: things went quite well with everything lined up.

    Ah, he didn't notice that? He must really have been focused on the mental experience...

    I suppose that makes things a little more pleasant for the Martians, at least. I suppose that makes as much sense as the mental 'halo' comics give telepaths running in full swing.

    If nothing else, there's bound to be plenty of appreciative Green Space Babes looking to thank their saviour. :V

    No doubt giving them all manner of ideas for new ways of telepathic cooperation.

    Hey, OL wastes no time in setting up rewards for those who help him.

    What are you picturing, Adam? A marble statue come to life? A cartoony bombshell with fluffy cloud hair? A Disney princess with her holy animals wandering around?

    Unusual? No. Divine? Well, that depends on your thoughts on the attractiveness of older women. x3

    Reading the article: The relevant part he's referring to is her being tricked (by Hera!) into making her lover Zeus prove he's a god... By flashing a lightning bolt. Unfortunately, she's not so durable as he is, so 'fwoosh', she burns. :( Typical ending for a Greek tale, really...

    And there's plenty of precedent: Karmang, for one. I have no doubt there's a few Euphorians who have both Magic and Mental training (though some versions have each faction seeing the other as enemies?)

    I'm sure OL can introduce you to his broker for selling rare metals... Though I suspect it's been a long time since he's needed to cash in...

    Pffft, as if getting paid to do what you enjoy lessens the joy of it? Consider all the things you've learned doing this.

    Oh, man, do you know how to sweet-talk OL or what?

    That, my friend, is a man having thoughts of cheating on his girlfriend. Dim, hardly likely to be acted on thoughts, but thoughts nonetheless.

    And do you really want to risk him being one of the rare cases of Larfleezing? Sure, you could shut his ring down remotely... Unless his psychic powers can block your command. Scary thought.

    Soundly heterosexual, eh? Living in the mold of the Pulp Sci-fi heroes of his youth... x3 Living the dream, boldly going and all that.

    Ah, Adam's got a lot of culture to catch up on. Will we see him having a little black book of things to see, ala Movie Steve Rogers? I mean, sure, he could pick it up from people's minds, but there's something to be said for experiencing it yourself.

    If nothing else, to get some detailed scans of that amazing physiology of his for the medical and biological sciences to pore over. His biological immunity is probably a function of telekinesis, I suppose, but hey... Who knows what they could learn just by looking?

    Victory party! ;) Do they have a Schwarma place nearby?

    Well, that is not how I expected the Coluan thing to wrap up... Personally, I was half-hoping for a battle inside the collective Coluan mindscape ala the Matrix, but I guess this works? In the words of 'How it Should have Ended: Tron" - 'No need to go inside, just Uninstall.' :cool: At least this goes some way to earning OL a reputation amongst the Greenies as 'the guy who fixes things fast'...What next, I wonder?
     
  10. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,134
    Likes Received:
    320,293
    If they did that then Paul or the Coluan woman he gave a ring to could just make some food for them.

    Pretty much.

    Thought they may not as nice to look at as the gold/orange ones.

    Hera basically told her that if Zeus truly is a god then he should show her his true form.

    He did and she died.

    Zeus also apparently sowed Dionysus in his leg in order to finish his development.

    Godly physiology is really fascinating.

    Adam has worked with Kalista and Pren, a magic user and telepath, so he may get some pointers from them.

    I think you mean boldly cu..ah...coming. Yeah coming.
     
  11. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,696
    Likes Received:
    728,987
    I think that's okay. Second opinions?
    There's 'weird, but makes sense' like the way British Members of Parliament raise points of order with collapsible hats.
    Then there's 'weird and makes no sense' like the duck-billed platypus.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Most is more than more.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Natural speech.
    He was referring to Ted.
    Yes.
    Back Door.
    The SI.
    Probably not.
    Yes.
    A bit more 'Daisy, Daisy' than that, honestly.
     
    Hell's Razer, Cuchulin, Ardy and 7 others like this.
  12. The Unaligned Player

    The Unaligned Player Agony that desires to meet Extinction

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2019
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    1,256
    I’m going to guess it will be a “While making breakfast I stop, glow a brighter and tighter yellow than Sinestro himself for a few seconds as I realize who I was talking to and then continue on with my day” type meeting.
     
  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,134
    Likes Received:
    320,293
    This sounds like something you'd see in a Dresden Files book.

    Well done.
     
  14. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2015
    Messages:
    667
    Likes Received:
    4,406
    So, last episode was July 5th, 2012. Should there be a timeskip? Because apparently everyone is just there on Coulu, fixing the problem...

    Is travel time not a thing anymore? The Legion fleets took their sweet time getting to Earth after all. Adam was on Tameran last I heard. The Martians still boarding shuttles on Mars yesterday and nowhere near Coulu. And were going to Earth first to acclimate to alien thought you said. The bubble people irrelevant because the bubble didn't some down in time. The magical faraday cages that allow OL to transport others through the elemental plane of greed unmentioned with high maintenance requirements. And also were not mentioned at all.

    ...is this a dream sequence OL is in? Because I was watching the christmas Doctor Who marathon, and this sounds like the Library thing. Where the uploaded lady gets Donna to realize she is in a dream be pointing to the sudden shifts in scene, with the transition between never actually having happened.

    There is a chunk of show your work missing here it seems. Like, I have no idea were they even did this from. Was this a practice linkup on Earth where Adam did a practice linkup with all the telepaths and found he has enough collective power to just phone it in at galactic distances? Did someone decide "Hey, why not go directly to Coulu today, and forget about that whole 'the white martians need telepathic training because their red overlords kept them ignorant and untrained' subplot?"

    The transition just does not seem very well thought through.
     
    drasteed, Cuchulin, Ardy and 3 others like this.
  15. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,134
    Likes Received:
    320,293
    It's possible that the training was very quick due to the telepathy making it possible for them to quickly be trained.

    And for transport Paul most likely used the Honden and Zoat didn't feel the need to mention it.
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  16. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,696
    Likes Received:
    728,987
    The SI loaded them into the ship and then flew them to Colu by ring. It's not instant, but it doesn't take him long when he opens the throttle. Colu is far closer to Earth than Maltus. And then Adam proceeded to take twenty on the link up as no one was actively trying to disrupt it.
     
  17. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2016
    Messages:
    697
    Likes Received:
    2,976
    I agree it seems a bit fast; I was expecting this whole thing to be a reason to tie up a bunch of characters for a few episodes, especially Captain Comet, who seems to be so great that I'm wondering how the Citadelians and Psions even captured him (did his powers grow over time during his captivity?).

    Paragon should ask him to deal with the Light, it shouldn't take too long.

    Has Adam Blake fully recovered in the Renegade timeline?
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  18. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2019
    Messages:
    2,860
    Likes Received:
    17,209
    I don't remember where the list is, the Mr Zoat once revealed that the Renegade timeline has him as one of the members of the Justice League. Whether he kept his full power from being used as a weapon against the Renegade hasn't been made clear.
     
    Cuchulin and DrThoth like this.
  19. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,168
    Likes Received:
    7,088

    Paul said the white Martians would be taken to earth first... But the sentence structure was weird yesterday.

    So let's see if I understand what went on.

    Paul took the Martians to Colu first, even though he said he would take them to earth first to get them used to alien thoughs in preparation for their mission in Colu... So they didn't have to get used to alien minds because Adam Blake used them as extra muscle as he took complete control of their mind sphere (wouldn't the Martians react badly to that? Especially the white ones) to get the power he needed to mind kill the computer tyrants.

    So NOW Paul is going to take the white Martians to earth? Wouldn't having them in Colu where they would be regarded as heroes be a better experience for them in order to get them used to other ways of thinking?

    Also kinda wondering how they feel after Adam acted as mind overseer.
     
    Cuchulin, Ardy and DrThoth like this.
  20. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2016
    Messages:
    697
    Likes Received:
    2,976
    I only remember the Paragon future League/Team lists so that's interesting. I think with the appearance of Arisia and Ghi'ata that there aren't any more future members that we know of, but it's hard to keep up.

    Tangentially I'm reminded of that alternate history League list where Wonder Woman basically wins World War 2 with the Spear of Destiny or something, but I'm not sure if that's a storyline that was ever or still is planned to be part of the story; does someone have the link to the segment where Zoat gave an outline? At this point I forget what forum it was even on.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2021
    Cuchulin, Ardy and Ngamer11 like this.
  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,134
    Likes Received:
    320,293
    The Psions used some kind of new weapon on him when he was covering the retreat of a Tamaranean fleet.

    Don't remember a list in which he was a member of the League.

    I know, Barda, Scott Free and the Shade joined in that timeline, but that's all.

    Hey Zoat is Adam Blake a League member in the renegade side?

    If not then will he become one in the future of this story?

    This sounds interesting.

    Also interested in a link to this, assuming it exists.
     
    Cuchulin and DrThoth like this.
  22. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2016
    Messages:
    697
    Likes Received:
    2,976
    Ouch, Darko.
     
    Cuchulin and Idkusername like this.
  23. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,134
    Likes Received:
    320,293
    Heh, sorry, but it has happened before, someone can easily mistake something they've seen and think it belonged in one place but it was never there and I was worried if it was the case here.

    No offense meant.
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  24. cereal_lurker

    cereal_lurker Getting sticky.

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2017
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    181
    It does, but I don't think this exists. I remember the reference and I think it was one of Zoat's short responses to one of the "what would happen if..." questions... which in this case I think was "what would happen if the SI went back in time/Wonder Woman knew the full extent of Germany's warcrimes."
     
    Ardy and Darko like this.
  25. Grimnar

    Grimnar Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2014
    Messages:
    2,114
    Likes Received:
    19,180
    Now to offer the Coluans jobs as Logistic managers and Fleet quatermasters, and general aids scattered throuout the armies.

    Long wars are won on Logistics and Material.
     
  26. Mastigos2

    Mastigos2 Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2015
    Messages:
    1,031
    Likes Received:
    6,614
    Yeah, come to think of it, the way Paul basically surgically altered his desire network would look weird to a telepath
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  27. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,134
    Likes Received:
    320,293
    One telepath thought his mind was beautiful.
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  28. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2017
    Messages:
    641
    Likes Received:
    3,466
    But he was an underage boy so that doesn’t count
     
    gustyeagle likes this.
  29. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2016
    Messages:
    697
    Likes Received:
    2,976
    Yes, this was the response I was thinking of; I don't remember the exact length.
     
  30. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    1,714
    Likes Received:
    9,865
    Well for those who thought that was anticlimatic the Computer Tyrants/Brainiac downloaded themselves into Mar Starr/Pulsar Stargrave.

    A body with pseudo-Kryptonian powers: solar powered energy blasts, superhuman strength, durability, and flight.

    And of course the level 12 intellect they came with.
     
    moralrelativity likes this.
Loading...