The Skittering Chaos (Worm/Hazbin Hotel)

For that she would have to kill him first since he's still alive apperently.

Only person she'll be surprised to see in Hell is her Mom because of her idolisation of her. Also which mass murderer was Battery going to let get away again?

 

I can just tell talking to Battery is going to be an exercise in frustration. She's already predisposed to think badly of Taylor and now she finds out she was mastering people during the end of the world? I can't see her being willing to consider a more nuanced view. Although I could be pleasantly surprised.

 

I liked the combat, especially the wall hacks of Taylor’s, that was a nice way to use the bug senses. Though I wonder, how many bugs does she have? If she has to manually convert each and every bug, man, that will take a while to get any decent size of the swarm.

Also for some reason I assumed the bugs were much bigger than they were described. Had to check back when Taylor marked vigilantes, and they were a little bigger than usual ones when first introduced. In my imagination they were starting at the size of like 2 cm. for some reason. I guess I just wanted to see her cause mayhem with giant bugs

 

Despite what she thinks, her power is actually less bug domination and just straight up domination/possession. All she needs to do is dominate a biter and suddenly she has herself some big ass bugs/knock off Hormagaunts.

Edit:

Especially since while reading through Skitters interaction with Battery, she's going to see this as all some long play for Taylor, or at least the mind control thing and joining the Chicago Wards. Plus, she strikes me as the kind of person that, like most of the PRT/Protectorate, doesn't like it when villains do good things, since to them it's always to do evil later. Battery's genre savvy with a character that doesn't fit the mold of the villain like Battery thinks Skitter does.

 

So out of interest. . . . .it sounds like the person Taylor killed hasn't revived. . . . .did she somehow perma kill them and absorb some of their power?

 

Which one? She's killed a fair few demons here and in previous chapters.

Edit: Oh do you mean Brainiache? Nah he's still alive. It's just this group of vigilantes have been around hell for only a bit longer than Taylor, and they didn't have anyone to show them the ropes. They don't know what happened to Brainiache either. I might do a snippet on my snippet thread with what happened/is happening to him.

Edit 2: If I do, I'll post a link to it here, but it will be NSFW

 

Nice chapter, good work.

 

RIP Snipes, I almost knew who you were. I'm guessing that Battery is going to wind up being the next antagonist, probably alongside Snipes, Brainiache, and Rollout once they find each other again. Or Battery will just go for the revenge path, that feels more in line with her character.

 

Ah you've yet to see how SSS are planning on disposing of the bodies, and they can certainly grab enough of Rollout to get rid of him to. Let me tell you, it isn't pleasant, not one bit. Just imagine, how would you get rid of Alabaster if instead of instantly coming back from death, he regenerated slowly?

Edit: Also a minor edit to the chapter. I changed the outfit that Taylor was wearing to her Skitter outfit so that it keeps the Merchants from being as easily identified, as just attacking as the Merchants would make her affiliation too obvious in my mind.

 

So it seems like you had some POV problems in this chapter as several paragraphs towards the beginning switch back and forth between first and third person. Unless it was intentional or somehow related to Taylor being drunk and her domination power having a minor effect on those around her where she is literally seeing herself from a third-person perspective.

 

Ah yes I see what you mean, I think I got them all. Funny enough, I mostly do my writing in the 3rd person past tense, and I decided to switch things up for this story to writing in the first person present tense. It's definitely throwing me off while I write as I will, if I don't pay attention, slip back into my regular writing style.

 

Taylor just going to have them be constantly eaten by bugs isn't she?

 

Nutritious for the bugs, and it could be an ample breeding ground... Actually this idea might be better than the one I had, so I might have to look into that. figure out what might be coming out of them if implanted. Maybe even design a few bug types that Taylor would have other than the basic bugs like Mosquito ripoff, beetle ripoff, etc, because we know that Beelzebub would have been getting busy.

Edit: In truth, I had been thinking of putting them in one of these.

Edit 2: Hell it might even be more humane, as you just have to keep eating the brain and they won't feel a thing as they are continuously eaten and had insects injected into them for breeding purposes.

 

I don't get it.

What do dams have to do with anything?

 

Its a drowning machine. You toss the bodies into the area close to the damn and they continuously drown for weeks or even months while being smashed by any debris there might be, though there wouldn't be much in the way of debris.

 

Yeah, bugs sound more humane.

 

Bad example, I really can't see Taylor using Wards as an example that way. The Wards were under the official command of the PRT and protectorate who were also supposed to be mentoring the wards (although we don't see that happening in canon), so that's not an example of mentor-ship disrupting official chain of command. I suppose you could use the way Taylor took over as an example there, but I believe both Tecyon and the PRT were actually fine with her taking over like that and she worked with them, not against them.

Typo, corrected.

Might want to remove that second "walk".

Before I head to the stairs, I reach the back door and start laying down some layers of barriers to prevent escape through the back into the alleyway. Adam, Angel and I had been able to escape out the back of a building, why couldn’t they? Soon enough, there is a visibly glowing blue barrier with its acceleration heading back into the building. With the back alley being patrolled by territorial animals, there shouldn’t be anyone trying to come in.

This is an odd paragraph. It seems Taylor hit him twice in the head with no significant damage, which does not make Taylor conclude he's a brute but when he hides behind the refrigerator (meaning any bullet would be significantly slowed down - in fact I'm impressed Taylor's magic was able to accelerate a bullet enough to go through a refrigerator and still cause damage), the fact that those much slower bullets didn't cause any damage means he's a brute? Something here is off.

The fact that the gun seems to actually do more damage later on after he'd gown (and presumably became more armored) is also weird.

I think you meant "put down some acceleration fields " there.

The contrast between this and the earlier description of their goals makes this sound like sour grapes, if that was deliberate , good job.

What exactly stops a demon from burying someone in cement?

 

When she notes that he is a brute is a bit strange and I will have to look into it to make some edits along with some of the other parts you mention here.


For accelerating the bullet to the point of getting through a fridge, I imagine that the barriers made are actually incredibly thin, thus allowing a very large amount of acceleration fields to be layered down throughout the length of the barrel. Skidmark in this story was able to accelerate baseballs to blow up the armoured and minor brute rated head of a lizard demon, so a smaller, and much more penitrative projectile like a bullet would be able to get through a fridge, though in truth, the stopping power would be very small compared to the initial shot in comparison.

As for how much damage Taylor seems to be doing, due to the wall and how she can only really judge the amount of damage done by how the head moves, she can't see that in just a couple of shots she basically shattered the carapace of the side of his head, though I forgot to mention it later, so I will have to go back and add that to her observations before he powers up. For the damage after achieving demon form, the arms are less armoured than his head but after proving that even while powered up her pistol is still denting his armour, he wants to protect his head. Ill have to go over the fight scene in more detail however to make sure it's properly described.

Also I need to go back and properly emphasise where Taylor put bugs on them to demonstrate that despite having wall hacks, she is more seeing where the bugs are and not really details due to how few bugs she has on them.

Nothing, other than finding the cement or purchasing it to burry them in it. I was more thinking of something quick and out of the way, while also making Skidmark's story of how he and Squealer survived the angels useful, since it took a full month before they finally got dislodged enough to get fished out of the water and be revived.

Not completely deliberate but not achieving all the objectives can grate on some people, plus, she's trying to see the bright side of things rather than focus on just the failure of stopping a veteran hero and veteran of Hell with an axe to grind with her and her newfound allies gain more power, discover a network of allies she hadn't had access to before, and now might be training a sniper to deal with her and her fellows.

For the Wards I was more refering to events that might have taken place over the time skip but it isn't really obvious so I might have to look it over or elaborate further and specify a specific scenario during the time skip.

 

That's fine, it's just a bit odd that you don't seem to have the bullets going through the fridge be any weaker/slower than the ones that didn't.

Problem is, despite the so called "perfect drowning machine" it's quite possible for someone to escape that situation even in RL, much less with the enhancements from being a demon, especially if they have friends. Being buried in cement, or just plain buried, would be much more likely to keep them out of the way for weeks/months/decades.

 

or just use the corpses as bug breeding and feeding grounds!

Definitely the most efficient option.

Also the best way of making a horrific example of your former enemies!

Taylor can make her enemies into living hives! keep them in display cases in her eventual swanky overlord lair as a demonstration of what will happen to you if you up against her and lose!

You can even keep them alive and in constant agony throughout the entire thing if you wanted!

 

Ah, I thought I did. Rollout's head barely moved when the bullets impacted against him and him putting his hands behind his head was more a reaction to really really not wanting to get hit in the head anymore after the previous two bullets nearly took his damn head off. Since I'm having Taylor judge the damage by how far his head jerked with each hit, when his head isn't even moving despite being hit, she believes that her bullets are doing nothing to him or are somewhat ineffective.

You are right of course. I even thought of them getting out of the drowning machine somewhat or even pretty early, though I may have underestimated how long it would take since for some reason I was thinking it keeping them down for a bit or even a lot longer than what is likely to happen. In truth, I think in my mind, when I saw the drowning machine video, I thought that it would be a good way to keep a demon down for a while as I hype'd it up in my mind.

You can do both. In fact covering them in concrete and having strategic holes in it for bug breeding and feeding, so that they can infest the corpse would certainly be an effective way of keeping a demon down, especially if the brain is continually eaten so they never gain consciousness. They wouldn't even be subjected to the torture of such extreme isolation. It would be like falling asleep at a hospital and, when Skitter has no more use for you, you wake up with a bunch of concrete dust covering you.

Taylor however doesn't seem like the kind of person to display her enemies unless it serves a purpose. Displaying bug breeding and feeding grounds, would be a no no since that just makes it an easy target for people, and Taylor doesn't seem like the sadistic type despite her various achievements accomplished via what many might say are extremely sadistic, brutal, and horrifying methods. All of them were rather more brutally pragmatic with the tools she had available to her. Fear may have been Taylor's tool, but that was all it was, a tool to get the job done. Rather than a constant horrifying example using torture and such, she would simply use her brutal take downs as all the cred she needs to make the example for her.

Anywho, I'll be editing this stuff later as right now I am further editing Chapter 1 since someone was kind enough to take a fine tooth comb through it and give me some suggestions on how to fix some of the awkwardness with the first chapter's sentences.

 

Yeah, she wouldn't do it often, but I can totally see her doing it once or twice as a warning.

Rep is everything is something taylor took to heart afterall, and its true in hell too!

Except the best rep to have in hell is the "This person is fucking scary" kind.

And it doesn't get much scarier than being a living conscious feeding and breeding ground for bugs.

 

For a truely irredeemable monster maybe, but only if her powerbase is quite secure, and I still doubt she would care to actively torture someone when just keeping their brain from regenerating would make things so much easier.

 

I am willing to bet there are a ton of truly irredeemable monsters down in hell.

 

Did you forget they won't stay dead? That would take a lot of work to keep them locked up, possible I suppose as a particularly horrific punishment for Taylor to use but not something most of the natives could do, or something she'd do without good reason (since it takes so much more work).

 

It might be a bit easier to ensure they stay dead if they are infested with brain eating critters but I also see the point where it could certainly be a chore to constantly do every day, though Taylor can just let them continue their regular routine without interfering with them like how she did her own bugs back when she still had QA. Though from an outside perspective, turning a corpse into a hive for bug production would seem horrifying, when they are already dead, it more just letting bugs breed in some meat, especially if brain bugs are eating the regenerating brain matter constantly. Without enough brain matter to function, I imagine it would be more like being asleep for however long. Though with how Sir Pentious regen'ed from being eldritch tentacled, and the possibility that it was in the same night, if the healing factor is to high then it just wouldn't be worth it unless they truly deserved it. But then that also brings up the problem of how Bonesaw nearly turned her into a living hive so that might bring up some problems depending on how traumatised she was from the experience. Granted, I'm not sure how traumatising it was to her on a scale of 1 to 10. I don't think it was a 10 as Brian's whole trauma was a 10 where as Taylor didn't 3rd trigger, but it certainly is higher than a 5 or 6.

I'll have to give this matter more thought when I think on how they would dispose of the bodies and think on whether to go with the cement or the hive idea, or possibly both.

Edit: Though though though, I use way to many "though"s.

 

Just to let the people here know, I've added a lewd interlude in my snippet thread here: The Skittering Chaos: Interlewd 1

And it is canon to this story.

It is however NSFW so I won't post it in this thread, but when I finally get down to creating a NSFW version of this I will be doing so and adding it after chapter 10. Just thought it should be known. I will likely make the NSFW thread after I get a few more lewds out and finally gotten along to editing Skidmark's dialogue to use less phonetic spelling and more proper spelling.

 

I would feel a lot worse about Brainiaches fate... except he was a cunt, and now he has a cunt so... yeah.

But Valentino seems to be making a critical mistake,

 

To be fair to Valentino, he doesn't know anything about Skitter except that apparently the vigilantes are after her for mind control or something like that. Thus, if a ho is looking for protection, he'll offer it if she works for him. Other than that though he doesn't know diddly squat about who or what Skitter is other than a recently dead girl with people on her ass.

 

But lets face it... Is he gonna do research?

I don't think he is.