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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    When Paul returned to Earth, after giving Alan his Blue Power Battery, the two visited Diana. Paul gave the sword then, though I'm not sure if she ever used it in the story afterwards. Here's the link.
     
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  2. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Gods no. 'Hey, Diana! Here's a sword from a people who worship an evil God of Destruction. Ain't it neat!'
    Pretty well. It will have better long term performance away from Earth. Broadly comparable against anything other than high-end arcane foes otherwise.
    No, but they'll have them available if she asks.
     
  3. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    That's something I was curious about, the performance of magic materials and equipment away from thaumically active places. Paragon traded some oricalchum early on in his space exploits, I believe. Exactly how long would they last in magic-poor settings?

    Is New God tech different in this regard because of their reliance on their Source?

    I'm also wondering about arcane-based life forms like Nabu, Diana and Captain Marvel and Adom.
     
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  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Answers below are provisional and somewhat off the cuff.

    Captain Marvel and Adom would be unable to change away from Earth but would otherwise be unaffected.

    Nabu mainlines order and is minimally affected.

    Some of Diana's higher order abilities wouldn't work as well, but she hardly uses those anyway.

    New God technology and physiology works slightly less well, but it's basically fine.
     
  5. infinityDivided

    infinityDivided ******** of Doom

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    I'm not sure if it's a problem on my end or not, but this is in a smaller font and bolded.
     
  6. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Given that the Qwa matter was in orange, I'm not entirely sure that it was even something that was being done to OL.

    Beyond that, I enjoyed the Hell out of OL being the planetary threat he clearly is, instead of having his every effort tanked or brushed aside because magic or other shenanigans.

    As for Grayven....what "meaningful" consequences?

    He lost Jade: Big whoop, cost him nothing really.

    He got anti-lifed: He got better.

    He's basically killed and smashed through his every opposition and is arguably even farther along with his uplift than OL is. He's achieved pretty much every goal he's set for himself and is roaring forward.

    I swear, every time OL does literally anything and doesn't get his ass kicked, people bitch.

    I mean fuck, guys. Para-Paul has a power ring, THE most powerful weapon in the universe. He's uniquely attuned to the light that powers it. But every time he isn't smashed back to square one, someone seems to take offense.

    OL's personality and character have grown throughout the story, his situation has changed greatly, he's gone from being on a team of sidekicks (I do miss the team, but time skips must be filled) to having his own Lantern corps.

    I really shouldn't be surprised. Everytime characters like Superman, Hulk, or Thor enter the scene and win a fight you see the same thing. As if them being titanically powerful isn't a large part of their character.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2021
  7. Mastigos2

    Mastigos2 Versed in the lewd.

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    I'm reading this differently than everybody else I guess. I'm not seeing "Oh fuck" I'm seeing "I WANT IT"
     
  8. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    That's intentional.
    It's meant to be a warning from his ring.
     
  9. Old Knife

    Old Knife Not too sore, are you?

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    Three words.
    Wholeness
    Rightfully
    Assumed
     
  10. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    People notice when a character never looses...

    There's good reason most skilled writers actively avoid falling into that sort of trap in their stories.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2021
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  11. The Unaligned Player

    The Unaligned Player Agony that desires to meet Extinction

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    Life is centerted on discontent/suffering/conflict. Victory is antithetical to this.
    - The Unaligned Player 08/19/2020
     
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  12. Lone Courier 6

    Lone Courier 6 Wanderer of threads

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    Not without setbacks, not without personal loss, and not without heartbreak...and not without growing as a person, Grayven feels much more satisfying to watch because he struggles, because while he's achieved every goal he's set for himself, it feels like he earned it, and when he half asses or takes a shortcut? It bites him in the ass and forces him to settle the issue and learn, Paul feels like a very static character ever since the 'Enlightenment' it never feels like Paul has to work for his goals in a truly meaningful way beyond Lemme just use more orange light with no drawbacks whatsoever, lemme just do this thing and watch everyone bend over backwards for me. Grayven struggles, Grayven doubts, and Grayven has something Paul doesn't. A Circle of Friends, and Family that actually convey the feeling of being important to him.

    With the way Paul has moved on? He doesn't belong with The Team, and there's nothing they can provide that he can't just Power Ring his way to do better, and honestly some of his interactions feel incredibly belittling.

    Grayven's actions have Consequences, and he works to rise above them and Conquer them.

    Paul just wins, and I feel no tension with him.

    EDIT:

    Also when Jade dumped Grayven? He was heartbroken, he was depressed, he threw himself into his work and has been afraid to open up like that to another person since.

    When he got Anti-Lifed? Sure, he has since recovered, but it threatened everything he held dear in such a way that it couldn't be dealt with just by applying more Orange Light, he nearly lost his ability to appreciate what truly mattered to him, and he couldn't live with that, so yes, he rushed to fix himself, but not for his own sake, but for that of those he loved and found he couldn't, and even then it wasn't a perfect fix, even now what happened has changed him as a person.

    EDIT NUMBER 2:

    And Grayven lost Alan, one of the biggest reasons he went to space...was to get him a new lantern, and when he came back...Alan had died two months earlier, that had it's own impact on him.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2021
  13. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Hard disagree. This confuses ability with effectiveness.

    You are completely correct that anyone can use an orange ring, because the desire to feel good and not feel bad is universal.

    That doesn't mean that just anyone can be good at it. If fear overrides desire? That's yellow; ring fails. If you don't really want to do it but you know you have to? That's green; ring fails. If you're so mad that you just have to take action? That's red; ring fails.

    The ring itself will help you with this, thanks to the mental influence coloring the way you see things. This is true of all of the rings -- of course green provides the least assistance but, regardless of color, success provides feedback that trains you to recognize the state of mind that made it work.

    The reason orange rings drive people crazy is because it gives power to every little desire you have, no matter how significant, and the orange light doesn't automatically discriminate between short-term and long-term desires. This leads directly to hedonism -- everything that you want, everything that makes you feel good, everything that avoids feeling bad.

    Learning how to manipulate your own desires in order to keep short-term impulses from overwhelming the things you really want deep down is significantly harder than just making an orange ring do what you want it to do. If there's something you need that you don't want to do, the ring won't respond to it, and focusing on how important it is doesn't help because that's willpower. You have to focus on the part of it that you do want and avoid putting too much emphasis on the unpleasant parts.

    So... no, the weaknesses of the orange light are still well and truly present, and the only reason they don't come up more often in the story is because the main character is putting active effort into avoiding the worst case scenario before it can happen. In the Grayven story, that disadvantage doesn't come up in the story very often BECAUSE of how much of a disadvantage it is -- Grayven avoids using his orange ring because it's too hard to control it, so he leans on his other sources of power instead.
     
  14. Maxx Crowley

    Maxx Crowley I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    What setbacks? He's gotten everything he's wanted in short order. He's wiped out and taken over the Light, seemingly killed Vandal Savage, has Luthor right where he wants him, and is currently way farther into his uplift then OL is.

    What personal loss? He hasn't lost anything. Hell, every time he loses something for a second, like his orange ring or Father box, he gets a replacement in short order...AND then gets back his original thing. Rocking a yellow and orange ring, along with a mother box.

    Growing as a person? He's been an asshole cosplaying someone else since he stupidly super roided himself.

    Grayven has issues to deal with sure. But that's because he's constantly doing basically the dumbest thing you can do at any given point for....reasons that I've yet to understand. Starting with impersonating Darkseid's son.

    Grayen achieves his goals often quicker, if messier, than OL does. Him getting all tore up and then rallying for the win isn't being forced to settle the issue and learn. Grayven has even achieved things OL has barely gotten started on. He's taken over the Light, overthrown a country or two, didn't have to deal with ANY of the Nabu issues and so on.

    Grayven melee's and stupidly face-tanks a lot more than OL does. Then, if his rings don't clean up all the damage, his Father/Mother box always has answers.

    And a family? Oh come on. Scott and Barda? The not actual relatives of his cosplay? (Zoat has said over and over that Mantelling isn't a thing) Ace? Is adopted Not-Daughter? His vampire monsters and ponies? He's flat out lying to all of them. Every word out of his mouth as "Grayven" is a lie. The memories and such things implanted by Father box.

    Friends? He's an asshole to pretty much everyone. The members of the team that he's kinda on terms with are all ones his mutated with his Father/Mother box.

    And where does Grayven fit on the team he officially walked away from? The one he constantly belittled and mutated with his Father/Mother box? Speaking of Belittled, Grayven can't go five seconds without being an utter dick to the Justice league. OL at least has friendships among them and the team. He at least tries to be polite. Grayven just goes "You're a stupid stupid-head who is stupid."

    What consequences? What are you actually talking about? The fact that his dumb choices get him beaten up for a few pages before he wins? At this point he's manipulated at least 2 worlds to get outcomes that he wants. Got nuked on the Justice Lord's world, and got everything he wanted. He's killed multiple Lords of Chaos at this point. He's alienated the team, took over the Light, alienated the Justice League, toppled a country or two and hasn't had a single backfire except that his Assassin girlfriend dumped him.

    I feel no tension with Grayven. He's eyerollingly comic-book-y. I should also point out that Grayven has won all the same battles as OL has. Actually, he's won MORE. OL's Unmen chapter went bad, the Light is still out there, and so on.

    Because OL hasn't had emotional moments at all? The merging with the Ophidian, the rampant paranoia when taking off his ring to use the toilet nearly got him killed, failing to convince Lex and so on.

    And Afraid to open up to another person? Really? With his ever growing collection of random people, children, ponies, and would be wives?

    Though, I will be completely honest, both character's Jade topic feels completely meaningless. She's the most "Oh yeah....you're a thing." of both of them.

    I will again point out. Ponies.

    His problem was fixed with My little Pony.

    And as for not being solved by more orange light. No, it was solved by applying more New God-ness and PONIES. Because Grayven really isn't a lantern. He just happens to have power rings.

    We'll agree to disagree, as I'm sure that's as far as we'll get. But here is how I see it.

    Para-Paul: A real guy reacting to a comic book universe's insanity, who has adopted an entirely Orange mindset due to the various comic book situations that have been forced upon him. The universe has forced him to change in ways he might not even fully realize. Constantly exasperated by the same crap comic book fans are constantly exasperated by. Which apparently has a root cause in Boss Smiley.

    Rene-Paul: A complete comic book character who makes comic book decisions that no rational human being would make. Who collects an ever growing pile of comic misfits whose problems he solves with Power rings and Mother boxes. Bouncing around in alternate universes, Ponies, whacky hijinks, comic shenanigans and PONIES.

    (I'm sure you've noticed, but I can't take anything dealing with My little pony seriously. So there certainly isn't a scrap of "tension" there.)

    Literally, every time there is a complain about OL, you know the only one of the two who has been curbstomped and KILLED, is that Ol doesn't get beaten up enough. Which is really odd considering how anything magical shits all over him, while Grayven just Mother box, divine speech, New God's all over it.

    Edit 1.

    Grayven being incompetent at that moment, having been a dick around Alan and alienated him rather then inspiring him like OL did, is hardly a knock against OL. After all, it wasn't like Grayven had the same relationship with Alan that OL did.

    And why am I supposed to give Grayven higher marks than OL because his Renegade actions cause more damage for him? Nice mirror to the game there Zoat by the way.

    Edit 2.

    Just hit me. Everything about Grayven feels like goofball Filler. I finally can put a label on it.

    Shooting himself up with the super drugs, Cosplaying Darkseid's child, Darkseid sitting on his couch, all his wacky shenanigans in other universes, pony-land, and the like. It's all just random, goofball comic book stuff. He's like a giant crossover event that no one asked for, but now we have to endure until we can get back to the storyline of the books we care about.

    Literally anything can happen in Grayven's story. The Transformers or the TMNT could should up and it wouldn't even be worth batting an eye at.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2021
  15. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    Who is talking to OL, why are they talking to OL, and more importantly how are they talking to OL?

    Because there was never an incoming transmission message from the ring OL told the ring to put through, so it kind of feel like some disembodied voice whisper in OL's ear to taunt him. You know, while OL in the vacuum of space fighting the space baddies. Or they can hack the ring communication systems somehow guess.

    EDIT:
    This Just In from The Onion: British Man Commits Suicide after being sentenced to reread his own fanfiction. All of it, from the beginning.
    His last words: "It wasn't that bad, but there was just so much of it seemed like the afterlife was less of a commitment by comparison."
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2021
  16. Lone Courier 6

    Lone Courier 6 Wanderer of threads

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    And yet the love between them is no lie, the lengths he'll go to for them isn't a lie. The Persona and Identity has merged with who he was, but that doesn't make the emotional bond they have any less true, the fear he had when he realized that his ability to return the love they had for him was severed, broken by the Anti-Life...and he knew he should have had for them was true, you might not be able to take it seriously because of the ponies but just because his identity is a lie that even he now believes, doesn't mean what he's done is false. He isn't Grayven son of Darkseid, but he's a New God of Conquest all the same.
     
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  17. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Someone from the Reach. Exactly who isn't clear.
     
  18. PDV

    PDV Revelation That Uncertainty Is Itself An Answer

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    That's not yellow. If the shields were concealing Qua matter, wouldn't it be yellow? Are we sure it's the Reach who have the qua matter here?

    chance or exhaustion
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    It's the Reach commander and they're probably using some advanced Reach science to do it.

    When OL once wanted to talk to Kalmin he seemed to reply in a voice that didn't come from the ring, so maybe they're doing something similar.

    His ring was alerting him of what it was, hence it being orange.
     
  20. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    It's going to be interesting to see what happens when the reason the Green Lantern Corp didn't want to go to war with the Reach finally rears it's ugly head.
     
  21. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

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    I went looking, and yeah this seems like the first time Paragon has ever used a Purple Death Ray. I also found this:


     
  22. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    This could mean they were modified to work better, or more depressingly, magical things that can be used to hurt instead of heal somehow function better in outer space.

    Though Paragon has used Purple Ray's in space before and I think Zoat mentioned that while they can work in a low magic environment, they're still not as good as they would be in a magical environment.
     
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  23. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    Or it could be to a similar reason why New God technomagic works- The New Gods power it themselves, so the lack of ambient magic isn't a big issue.

    So it may be that Paul can use it in outer space because his aura has reached the point where he can power it himself without the aid of ambient magical energy.
     
  24. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    He has shown greater skill and awareness when it comes to magic recently, so that's quite likely.
     
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  25. Silverias

    Silverias Know what you're doing yet?

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    I mean, that's basically originally what it was.

    "What if OL came to the universe in kind of a shitty place and did shitty reckless things"

    and it leads to goofy shit. It just took on a life of its own over time. I enjoy the Grayven stories, but I WILL say that I much prefer OL.
     
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  26. Queshire

    Queshire Not too sore, are you?

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    You know what they say. It's easier to break things than to build them. Use biomancy, but don't bother to try to get things right? Pretty easy to wind up with a cancer ray that way.
     
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  27. Threadmarks: Back Door (part 21)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    9th July 2012
    07:31 GMT


    Oh.

    -detected.

    I try-

    The ship's gone.

    -to-

    My construct's gone.

    -step-

    It hits me.

    Armourarmourreinforcemyarmour!

    I can see the flows of orange light from my rings pour into the mould of my construct even as the ravening qwa energy consumes it from the outside! I'm reading-. Every form of energy at once, and a few things that my rings' sensors are glitching trying to understand! A moment later I dully register more of the Reach's ships vanishing as the blinding wave annihilates them, but I think the initial wave has passed me-.

    Then the qwa matter hits and my armour construct is gone and my armour is gone and I frantically pull my desires into my environmental shield as I feel the eldritch energy try to eat the very idea that a thing like me ever existed. That I could exist. My desire for autonomy against a force that wants to destroy everyone's desire for anything. My-.

    My right arm's gone. I didn't even-.

    Bodily integrity and self-image, not just mine but from the entire-.

    And now I have no legs or nose.

    Um.

    The entire Leentniar species, the way things should be and must be-.

    It's not enough. It's eating away at me. I'm surprised that my ring is still intact.

    Well, if… Larfleeze's desires are still imprinted on his ring-.

    What's a ring?

    What's… What

    am I seeing? I… Want to hide. For my people to hide. To keep away from the things that chase us, they chased our ancestors from wherever our home.. planet was. They're a threat, obviously, but it's the aliens around us that I'm concerned about. We have to harvest them before the Pursuers do, but there's a dreadful risk every time and I want to keep away from them and stay hidden. I want everyone to stay hidden.

    Um. Nothing about that seems particularly unreasonable to me.

    Who am I..? Hiding from? I mean, a name or something would be-.

    GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAY!

    I'm moving, I'm moving fast but I don't know if I'm going in the right direction or the wrong direction. Something about that doesn't seem-.

    HIDE!

    I look around this weird… Orange… Place. There isn't really anywhere to hide, just a corridor and it's walls. But I must hide. I try gripping the wall-.

    Turning big rocks into small rocks and ore. This is how the fleet survives. It's not interesting, but with patience it can still be satisfying.

    Okay, so I'm mining while hiding and fleeing? That doesn't sound right. They don't sound like they're coming from the same place, and I'm not sure how to do them at the same time. I don’t think there's anything to actually mine here. I can't see anything to flee from and hiding appears to be impossible as well.

    Be a productive citizen, even when it's hard to work out what that means.

    I certainly don't have anything against being a productive citizen. I'm getting the impression that I'm not meant to mindlessly obey these impulses. That… Idea resonates in a way that the others didn't. So… Fine? Maybe if I walk a little way down the corridor.

    Aliens shouldn't be able to tell us what to do. We should kill them until they stop.

    'Alien' is really a matter of perspective. I mean, something's resonating about the desire to kill people and not liking being controlled, but I don't think that something as terminal as 'kill them all' should be applied to a group just because it's a group.

    No, it totally should. Individualism is the problem. Society can't work if individuals focus on themselves.

    That… Didn't sound…

    I look at myself, and see threads from the walls and floor and ceiling binding themselves to each other in a shape… I assume that shape is me? Weird orange voices, is that a normal shape?

    It's a shape that it's right to identify with.

    Thank you, I think? I don't know, though. I don't think I'm meant to be made of orange light like this. It feels off. And… I think I'm meant to know. That definitely feels like something I should be able to do.

    Are any of these threads from… Me? Is that a thing it makes sense to ask?

    I try… Pulling at… Me? But none of the threads feel much different in nature from the others. Each of them shows me flashes of things I could want, but nothing really.. settles.

    This feels… No, this is very wrong. I'm not meant to be like this.

    What am I?

    No. No.

    I want to be me.

    Ugh-? A strand… Connected to my left hand tugs… Okay, um. I follow it, pulling it up from the floor as I go. That causes it to flow into me, some of the other strands falling away as I move through… Whatever this place is. And I feel… A little more like I think I should feel. Though I don't have any.. evidence of that. I've just got feelings to go on, but I suppose that's better than nothing.

    Is there anything else that feels familiar? What else do I want?

    Some of the not-me desires relate to other people. Do I have..? People? A group I'm part of? The desires make that seem normal, so I suppose

    I want to be with my peers.

    "I-Illustres?"

    I want to know my own mind.

    "Illustres?"

    I want to know what that voice is.

    "This makes no sense."

    Which implies that the voice wants it to make sense. Where's the thread for that? No, no… There

    "You're dead, but-."

    I open my eyes to the blackness of space, a woman I think I recognise and an orange glow. She blinks in shock, the threads from her ring maintaining the orange glow around me.

    "Illustres?"

    "Perhaps. Who are you?"
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2021
  28. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  29. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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  30. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    ...The orange quotes are gone? *checks again* THE ORANGE QUOTES ARE GONE! Did his soul get reset to factory settings or something?
     
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