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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    I misremembered, but the eyes are clearly a reference to Mr Zoat‘s avatar. Anyway, there haven’t been any signs that someone has gotten a tattoo like that.
     
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  2. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    We really need to move on from Grayven... Because this has basically been 6k words of him just dicking around...
     
  3. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    She may still be dating Tao.

    And it makes sense that if you spent a lot of time around renegade that you would not want to have anything to do with the male gender.

    Renegade sometimes needs a hard kick to the balls.

    And by sometimes I mean most of the time.

    No, I think she's just killing corrupt government people and warlords.

    Especially amusing is Paul’s ability to communicate, which tends to be a hit and miss.

    He's still in jail.

    I also think Artemis got together with Jr. in the comics.

    I'm now imagining this happening in a universe where Artemis is a villain like her comic self.

    Hell, Common Sense may have done this with Jade.

    She did kiss him and now she may know that he's dating her mom.

    Manta managed to recruit soldiers that lacked allegiance to their nations, so we know it's possible.

    By beating up someone that had nothing to do with him not seeing his son.

    Unless the actual recruitment criteria are different than the publicly posted ones.

    To be fair, the Team is largely composed of New Gods, and if Artemis goes, then they'll have a centuries old New God on their Team.

    Since when has renegade ever asked someone of their opinion if they're okay with him interfering in their lives?
     
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  4. m_d

    m_d Fascinated by storytelling

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    This verb form is "envelop", unless you mean something other than what I'm imagining.
     
  5. ForeverShogo

    ForeverShogo Not too sore, are you?

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    I think in the Renegade timeline Talia is dead, so as far as amusing guesses for who Paula is dating . . . Bruce Wayne.

    Bruce gets to satisfy his fetish for fit Asian women who are also trained assassins and her desire to be a hero means he doesn't have to deal with any of the baggage that comes from romancing one of your enemies.

    They can beat up criminals then follow it up with freaky costumed sex. Everybody wins.
     
  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I think she's just in jail.
     
  7. Z3r0Sama

    Z3r0Sama Not too sore, are you?

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    Ngl, kitten one is cute asf.
     
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  8. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    The Renegade is fully conscious on his own. He also has a conscience, though it often gets moderated by practicality.
    Yes, but not anytime soon.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Stallions going their own way.
    Last time she was seen, Grayven told Batman that if she didn't go to prison and stay there that he'd kill her. As far as I remember the outcome hasn't been stated in story.
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2021
  9. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

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  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Ownway. It's in Finland.
     
  11. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

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    Ah, of course. I hear good things about Finland, so it's understandable that they'd want to go there.
    Your objection would be more understandable if less of the story as a whole was OL just dicking around.
     
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  12. Prognostic Hannya

    Prognostic Hannya Knight of the Yuri Crusade

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    ...do we know that Artemis and Grayven aren't in a relationship? New God relationships are much less based on physicality than human ones, and even if the two of them don't think they're dating, the type of close, co-dependent bond they have could easily be considered romantic on some level, even if they don't realize it because of the lack of hand-holding.
     
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  13. Hotcoco

    Hotcoco Making the rounds.

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    Ok question, anyone know the chapter the equestrian girl shows up from the portal
     
  14. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Fool's Canon.
     
  15. Hotcoco

    Hotcoco Making the rounds.

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  16. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    We know they ARE in a relationship. It's just not necessarily a romantic relationship.
     
  17. ABZB

    ABZB Making the rounds.

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    Up to 40:06 in the reread/catchup. Heh, I remember this bit, OL getting thirsty... And showing up late to Hades' welcoming committee.

    pet peeve again: eternal torment was a Christian invention, the Jews just had a purgatory (and oblivion for, like, the worst)

    No sleep, only reading. Should be up to date in a week or two
     
  18. Zig

    Zig Not too sore, are you?

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    Two Jews: three opinions. Whether or not there is a hell in Judaism is a matter of debate, though I've never heard a Jewish person state that it would be eternal, just proportional to the amount of sin.
     
  19. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    Eh, Maybe not exactly. I'm pretty sure that Tantalus and Sisyphus at least were doomed to eternal torment in Tartarus, though that might be a later Christianized take on the myths.
     
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  20. Hotcoco

    Hotcoco Making the rounds.

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    So after reading that, I now realize that that Paul has joined the light, sorta left a bad taste in my mouth.. now to reread the whole story just to wash it out. Not a big fan of heroes going pretty much bad guy.
     
  21. Threadmarks: The Other Half (part 6)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    12th July 2012
    07:12 GMT -8


    I find myself pulling a face as I dock with the aesthetian and feel the slight pull as it connects with my ingestion hole. Perhaps I will be accustomed to it in time. Or perhaps I am too accustomed to my physical freedom to ever really get accustomed to something like this. Still, it is progress, and it is more… Respectful, than being thrown into a bucket of partially digested fish heads. Relaxing my face, I reach out with my mind for the neural interface made with the new types of synthetic flesh which are compatible with Un-Men…

    **[Connect]**

    At once the next texture and flavour of the air change as neural mechanisms which the-. That Anton Arcane considered superfluous to my design, connect to my brain. My innate capacity for the chemical analysis of air is usually limited to 'breathable', 'contains blood' and 'not breathable', but with a little help…

    My brain can learn to do things that it was not designed to do.

    With the connection in place the aesthetian… Since this is the final version I need to think of a name for it. It would not do to appear to be treating an Un-Man as an object after all, even if this is no more intelligent than a chipmunk. 'Bud' as in 'taste bud'? No, no, that makes it sound like a flower. Gus Tatory? Satisfactory, but I will check with Niko before I make it official. When you are a grotesque, your humour is grotesque. It does not always play well to others.

    I tested it with crackers while I was experimenting with the design, but Grayven suggested I try toast for the first 'proper' meal. And suggested that the taste might kill me and then laughed about it. Niko suggested chocolate, but despite the safety mechanisms it might be better to be cautious. While not being so afraid of my own creation that I simply go along with Grayven's joke.

    Gus's tentacles reach out and coat the first slice of toast in a very thin layer of butter, then cut it in half. The first half is delivered into the 'taste' receptacle directly, while the second is held up to my own mouth. It is a-.

    I shudder as the feedback from Gus's taste nerves begins to reach me, unfamiliar.. feelings… I have known lipids since my first moment, but I feel that I have never known them at all until this moment. Butter! All of the animal instincts I have never had are delighted to be putting away fat for winter! The toast itself is a more complex sensation, but… Let us try texture!

    I command the tentacle to bring the mouth half closer and bite. I have only basic sensation inside of my mouth, but I do have teeth and I do get pressure feedback to a surprisingly generous degree. I suspect that is because Arcane wanted me to know when I bit something rather than any sort of consideration for me, but between that and the taste… I will check with a computerized axial tomography scan later, but I think I am effectively receiving the sensation of eating toast as an unmodified man would.

    Splendid!

    Of course, the downside since I don't actually have an oesophagus…

    I open my mouth a little wider, wadding as much of the chewed bread material into the front of my mouth as I can. A tentacle reaches down and scoops it up to deposit in the taste receptacle, where a moment later it gives a sudden jolt as the masticated food decays faster than the solid piece and gives the taste buds a more intense rush of chemicals.

    My word.

    There's a quiet knock on the door.

    "Cranius? Are you..? Ah, decent?"

    "Niko! Eh." I have the tentacle holding the toast to my mouth swiftly redirect it to the taste receptacle. Much as she is willing to embrace the strangeness that is a part of our nature I think that her stomach would still be turned by my chewing. "I am as decent as I am likely to get!"

    She pushes her way into my workshop, computer tablet in hand. I am still not entirely comfortable with machines that can pretend to think, but I can appreciate the utility. She looks closely at Gus as she walks closer, then raises her eyebrows.

    "How is it?"

    "I have nozhing wizh which I could compare it. It is intense and it is novel, which is the most I could hope for. I… Zhink zhat tomorrow I will experiment with zhings ozher zhan toast."

    "Chocolate?"

    "Eh-h. I zhink baby steps for now."

    Of course, I still have to actually ingest. It feels like the digestion process is ready, so I trigger the egestion system, and… I feel the same as usual. Perhaps a little tidier due to the fact that I now have a dedicated mechanism for fulfilling the purpose.

    "Are you okay?"

    "Yes?"

    "You looked a little… Constipated, there."

    "My dear, I don't have a bowel. Or a gut."

    But I make an effort to control my expression. I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

    "I guess that's a novel experience for you too, then."

    I close my pseudo sphincter and disconnect, rising up on my fingertips.

    "Let us not go crazy."

    I disconnect my mind from Gus, who folds up back into 'sleep' mode to minimise energy wastage until I need to eat again. Perhaps some fruit? I used the brain of a monkey as my guide when I designed his brain, so that should work well. Next, I call Otto over and have him pick me up and set me down between his shoulders.

    "Who is on zhe slab today?"

    "A seven year old boy named Klahan Saelim. He has terminal leukaemia."

    Oh? Oh. A publicity job, then. Otto sighs for me as-.

    "His parents have signed off on you giving him… Slightly visible improvements."

    Ah… That's a little better. No, wait.

    "Like tiger-stripe hair, or somezhing useful or significant?"

    She taps her tablet. "They.. haven't specified. So there aren't any restrictions. Just remember-."

    "Yes, yes. Nothing to scare zhe person doing zhe post-procedure interviews. I'm zhinking… Squid eyes, obviously, wizh the expanded visual range."

    "Ah, if he can't navigate-."

    "Yah yah, slightly expanded. I'm not going to make him see gamma radiation."

    I learned that lesson after the third time. I thought it was pretty!

    Niko looks like she doesn't completely believe me.

    "Okay, I don't think there'll be any problem with getting them to accept perfect eyesight. Do you want to throw anything else in there?"

    Yes. I want to give him dragon wings and scale-covered skin capable of resisting low calibre bullets and the ability to spit napalm. Don’t 7 year old boys like dragons?

    Ah, the dreams of a better tomorrow. I honestly had believed that the American military would be more enthusiastic about modifications that have combat applications, but it seems that if they do not allow the soldier to tear through sheet metal they have nearly as many reservations as the FDA.

    The Department of Energy doesn't have that problem. Their agents are daring each other to be the first to get the electric eel discharge system.

    "I zhink… I will see where the muse takes me. Wizhin bounds."

    "Okay. After that, Crassus wants to talk to you about his synthetic skin project."

    "He is still working well wizh zhe laboratory staff?"

    "Ah… Yes, no recent report of any problems."

    I smile.

    "And after that-. Oh. We've got a booking for an emergency consultation. They… Haven't explained the nature of the problem, but they've only asked for two hours."

    Ah, such is life. They will have paid well for the privilege, and perhaps they have dreams of something original?

    A disembodied head can dream, can't he?

    "Okay. Let us go and see zhe young man."
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2021
  22. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    Another look into members of the Light, and a very interesting perspective it is. The Good Doctor is having some self improvement time. I guess with a bit of Grayven rubbing off on him, that there might be more of an urge to expand himself, and not just his people as the Muse wills.
     
  23. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'that I try'

    Ahh, renegade, he's such an asshole.

    At least he's an equal opportunity asshole, to friends, enemies and random people.

    'known'

    Of course you did.

    I think that's true for most of the people who will read this.

    'a scale' or 'shins'

    Yes, but the parents may not like it if the kid burns down their house.

    That is not reassuring, since I doubt your bounds are all that many.

    Maybe remove 'with or 'wizh'

    In a comic universe?

    Yes, I think he can.
     
  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Not in the Story Only thread, no.
    Thank you, corrected.
    He was laughing because it's a Discworld reference, though naturally Cranius has never heard of it.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  25. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    know -> known
    feels -> feel (or maybe this is just how his internal monologue talks)
    How does he know it's a young man? The earlier text only mentioned "they".
     
  26. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Niko mentioned that it was a kid.

     
  27. Aabcehmu

    Aabcehmu Confusion As a Natural State of Being

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    I'm reasonably confident that a significant percentage of 7 year old boys across the world would, in fact, revel in being a humanoid dragon, at least initially.
     
  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    True, but the parents may have some issues with that.
     
  29. Cthulu

    Cthulu He Who Lurks

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    I saw the Diskworld reference, and the funny thing is I just finished reading Thief of Time again.
     
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  30. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    What do you mean? Don't all parents want their children to become fire-breathing reptiles?
     
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