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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Shotiegun11

    Shotiegun11 Know what you're doing yet?

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    The first officer is referred to with female pronouns for the rest of the update after this so: she, herself.
     
  2. Fellow

    Fellow Know what you're doing yet?

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    'make'
     
  3. Lothlo

    Lothlo Not too sore, are you?

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    missing the opportunity of ending the chapter asking her: 'Would you like to know more?'
     
  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    If someone posts a lot of old corrections I'm probably not going to be able to deal with them immediately. It may not seem like it, but I do actually have a life outside of this story.
    Bug Hunt.
     
  5. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    gap -> range ?? Not at all sure about this, I don't think I'm groking what you're trying to say.
    if -> it
    maek -> make

    I'm quite enjoying the interactions and learning more about how OL thinks. I wonder if he'll be successful in helping another lantern achieve enlightenment... Very slow going so far.
     
  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    People expect superheroes and supervillains to dress weird. It's not that it's not weird, it's that them doing it isn't weird.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  7. Zig

    Zig Not too sore, are you?

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    Is Paul still using an "inferior" ring that Hinon made for him in a rush? Also, what makes a ring inferior or superior? Hinon mentioned that the ring she made for Paul was better than what he had before but worse than the ones most of the crops were using. So like, quality of AI? Efficiency?
     
  8. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    Are you asking whether Paul has two rings right now? I think he is down to the one high-quality Hinon-grade ring.
     
    Ardy likes this.
  9. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    It did, in the the classroom discussion about the vote.

    What is with all the hate for that move?
    I read the Heinlein book. Before the movie even existed even. And enjoyed it, like I did most all Heinlein novels.
    I still really enjoyed the movie. In fact, I would consider it a classic.
     
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  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    They took the 'mobile' out of 'mobile infantry' and the director openly acknowledges that he never read the book.

    It's not a terrible film, when viewed on its own merits. But it's an in name only adaptation of something that a lot of people liked.
     
  11. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    Ok, that is fair. I guess I just really like the style and cinematography. Maybe I'm getting old, but many of the movies lately just seem like crap. Especially in the horror and (what used to be sci-fi action) genres. Dark lighting, whispered walking, few people shown on screen, and boring as fuck.

    I want something like Freddy Krueger, and I get a more boring blair witch project that looks like it was made by an indy outfit, except the major producers are doing it now more and more.

    Starship Troopers has the soul of an 80's action romp. I have no problem slotting in between a marathon of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis classics. Total Recall, Starship Troopers, Fifth Element.
     
  12. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Hands up everyone else who actually read Total Recall.
     
  13. Zig

    Zig Not too sore, are you?

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    IIRC Hinon gave him a new ring after his most recent death, but said she made it in a rush and while it was better than his old one it wasn't as good as the ones the rest of the corps were using.
     
  14. quietwhile

    quietwhile Getting out there.

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    I would also like to know that, but I'm guessing it's going to be revealed as a plot device.
     
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  15. PDV

    PDV Revelation That Uncertainty Is Itself An Answer

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    Absolutely, the initial good news of 'no more back-breaking work' is very good news. Even now, 'no more bullshit makework' sounds good. But that would wear off in a decade or two at most, and then you're stuck with "Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens". Humans are not psychologically built for idleness.
     
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  16. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    That's not how I remember it.
     
  17. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    If I recall correctly, the ring was optimized for Paul before he exploded. Immediately after the explosion, the ring was suboptimal for him because his spiritual makeup was damaged. I have no idea how optimal the ring is for Paul after he fixed himself, given that he went through a spiritual change that makes him Empathize harder through his emotional sense.
     
  18. Zig

    Zig Not too sore, are you?

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    About as good means almost as good in colonial, not sure if it's the same for you? That said, my other question would still remain, what separates quality of power rings of the same color?
     
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  19. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    I would totally have said yes. And so would most kids in my class.
     
  20. Joelseph14

    Joelseph14 Know what you're doing yet?

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    Man I love how chill and fluid his thought processes are. Wish more protagonists were enlightened it would save so much intergroup angst and struggle
     
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  21. Threadmarks: I Smile To See You Want (part 4a)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    5th July 2010
    14:32 GMT -5


    I watch curiously as the brightly glowing humanoid female with rabbit ears below me has some sort of altercation with the local version of Harvey Bullock.

    "Removing illegal graffiti and checking that electrical systems and plumbing is up to code requires a work permit?"

    "Yer also repairing brick and mortar, replacin' windows, repairin' sidewalks and streets, and gettin' rid of garbage. We got like a dozen different labor unions callin' fer yer head."

    I narrow my eyes slightly, then blink as I suddenly start seeing an emotional spectrum which apparently contains fourteen colours rather than the seven I'm used to. This definitely warrants further investigation.

    "Well boohoo for them that I'm drying up their bribe money, but the electrical and plumbing systems are literally unsafe here to the point it might actually be safer to live in grass huts in deep Africa. Do you honestly want me to leave people living in buildings where flipping the light switch may one day shock them to death just because some crooked unions and government workers are worried about the bribes they'll be losing out on?"

    I drop down beside her, arms folded behind my back.

    "Wrong question."

    "Agh!"

    The lagomorph jumps three metres into the air from a standing start, apparently without ring-assistance. Bullock takes a half-step back, right hand jerking towards his sidearm before his brain fully processes what he's seeing.

    "In your own-"

    She lands, right hand over her heart and eyes wide.

    "-time."

    She freezes up for several seconds, eyes fixed on my face.

    "Um. Joyful.. being..?"

    I raise my left hand and do a Vulcan salute.

    "Live long and prosper, Cyan Lantern."

    "It's… Um. Teal, actually."

    "Ah. I apologise. Teal Lantern. But it's still the wrong question."

    She hesitates, taking a moment to study me. Right, no Orange Lantern Corps in this continuity. Which means that the only Orange Lantern she could know about is Larfleeze.

    "Aaaand..? Then what's the right question?"

    "Do you want to do good, or do you want to listen to a fat fool who wants to stop you doing good?"

    Bullock huffs. "Look. I get she's try'na do a good-."

    "Stop talking-." I don't look at him. ".-or I give you a six pack."

    "I don't drink on dooty."

    My orange beam hits him in the abdomen, converting fat into muscle. His shirt and coat sag noticeably. The Teal Lantern stares at him as he pats himself down to try and assess the damage.

    "I… Like to try and work inside the system? I want to help but I don't want to get the people who live here in any trouble."

    "'Breaking and Decorating' does not fall within the usual purview of the Major Crimes Unit. Even in Gotham, no one is going to be punished because someone else improved their home."

    Bullock finishes feeling himself up, a look of bewilderment on his face. But he hasn't survived this long in Gotham by letting strange occurrences distract him from his job. "Alright, asshole, yer under arrest. We can do this-."

    "And neither is 'Assault and Betterment'. And if you honestly intend to attempt to arrest me, I suggest that you toddle off and get someone with a little more firepower than that peashooter. Speak again and I will fully restore your hair."

    The rabbit frowns. "You're a lot more… Non-crazy than I was… Expecting…"

    I nod. "Expecting an Orange Lantern to be, yes, I've met Larfleeze."

    She puts her hands on her hips. "Well, you're still being unnecessarily rude. Detective Bullock is just trying to do his job."

    "If someone is doing something likely to negatively affect the people you are trying to help, is their motive of primary importance?"

    "It still matters!"

    "Fine. I just added twelve years to his predicted lifespan. How polite do you want me to be?"

    "Ah, look-."

    Another orange beam repairs Detective Bullock's receding hair line and male pattern baldness, as well as restoring the pigment lost to stress and poor diet.

    "Speak again and your penis will grow by a half inch per word. Teal Lantern, I can see within you the shining desire to catalyse joy. You have on your finger the most powerful tool in the universe. If you're going to let people stop you because your actions are inconvenient to them, I can only suggest going home and telling your ring to find a new bearer, because in your heart you have already abandoned your core mission."

    "If it's that important to you, why don't you do it?"

    "If I wanted to commit myself to saving Gotham, I would do so in a rational and pragmatic manner. I would take over the city by force majeure, recruit the handful of obstinately upstanding residents as aides, summarily execute the worst criminals, then ram through whatever other changes I thought necessary over the heads of any local objections. Then, and only then, would I do painting and decorating work, because the time spent to lives improved ratio just doesn't support it until then."

    She glares at me.

    "I don't believe that for a moment!" She points her right arm at me, forefinger extended accusatorially. "You're just a miserable emo who's forgotten how to be nice to people!"

    Bullock writes something on his notepad.

    "I'm trying to help you learn things the easy way before-" Bullock holds his notepad out in front of her. "-you…"

    She focuses on it, arm still outstretched, then frowns.

    "Of course it's one word, why would you think-?"

    Bullock nods. "Okay."

    He looks mildly satisfied as the orange beam hits him, then turns away to head back to his patrol car.

    "Great! Now they're going to think I'm a supervillain because of you!"

    "That says more about them than it does you. But I want to see what you'll do next."

    "Keep helping people! But now I don't know if I should keep doing this, or-"

    "Yes you do."

    "-get some sort of licence-." She lowers her arm. "What do you mean?"

    "People often limit themselves by what is socially acceptable, even if they think it's nonsense. You know what is right, and you've seen the joy you've already brought. At this point anything other than carrying on is an unworthy self-deception."

    Her eyes narrow. "I don't think I like you."

    "But do you think I'm wrong?"
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2021
  22. AkazilliaDeNaro

    AkazilliaDeNaro Getting out there.

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    Oh. I was not expecting that. Oh god my sides.
     
  23. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    That was... odd.
     
  24. AkazilliaDeNaro

    AkazilliaDeNaro Getting out there.

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  25. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I didn't realize Zoat did real-life April Fool's Day writing, just stuff with in-universe timing.

    Edit: the real fool is me for forgetting the very month we're in.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2021
    ChestBurster, Vorian, j334 and 17 others like this.
  26. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    You have an interesting view in punishments.

    You monster!

    Spend some time with him and you'll know that he's crazy, just a different flavor of crazy compared to Larfleeze.

    Go back to whatever pit you crawled out of, demon!

    I like her.

    Probably writing down about the two lunatics he's met that night.

    Perfectly understandable.

    Is this future Paragon?
     
  27. AverusBlack

    AverusBlack AKA Aisling

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    I don't speak up very often. Zoat, if you're willing to indulge me, what are the other seven colors and what do they represent?

    This is surprisingly important to me but I'm not quite willing to explain why out in the open. It has nothing to do with writing or anything like that, just something personal.
     
  28. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    If I remember correctly there's also pride, which was a dark yellow/golden color.
     
  29. Slayer Anderson

    Slayer Anderson Orthodox Heretic

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    I guess we should all be terrified if an Orange Lantern ever wanted to be funny.
     
  30. Coltsguy

    Coltsguy Colts fan. Anime fan. Breast and back fan.

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    Dammit QQ why won't you let me like this more than once!?!
     
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