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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    So....I...stumbled on an episode of YJ Season 3 for the first time last night..."Nightmare Monkeys"

    And my brain has now attempted to flee my skull in abject horror of that which I have now witnessed.

    My only explanation for this insanity is that Ambush Bug got loose again.
     
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  2. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    Sooo, you are saying that he is a Librarian at a university?
     
  3. Agent Orange

    Agent Orange Experienced.

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    Nah, but he could probably fill in for the Librarian without anyone being the wiser.
     
  4. Threadmarks: Negetiations (supplementary, Renegade Option)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    12th August 2012
    18:38 GMT


    "Hey, Mister Grayven!" / "Hey, Mister Grayven!" / "Hey, Mister Grayven!" / "Hey, Mister Grayven!" / "Hey, Mister Grayven!"

    I smile and raise my right hand in a half-wave/half Roman salute as the universe's youngest kryptonians look up from their painting.

    "Hello, children!"

    Lu-Zod flies unsteadily over to me and grabs hold of my right hand.

    "Come see! Come see!"

    "I'm sorry, but I need to talk to Karsta Wor-Ul right now."

    "Aaawh."

    I delicately recover my right hand while patting her on the head with my left.

    "I'll come right back when I'm done, okay?"

    "Lu-?!"

    One of the tamaranean childminders assigned to the facility spots her charge and swoops down to recover her.

    "Lu-Zod, you are not to fly off like that!"

    The child's face falls. "I'm sorry. I just got so excited!"

    I shoo the child back into the care of her guardian, then step back out of the orphanarium and into the corridor.

    This place has really brightened up since we slaughtered all the Citadelians who used to live here. I'd assumed that Karsta was the utilitarian sort, but they've actually remodelled the entire interior into something a good deal more child-friendly. Out went about half the cloning tanks, in come arboreta and multi-tier classrooms. Karsta isn't going for mass production here. She-.

    "Grayven."

    I turn and smile at her, though it's more a 'polite' smile than the genuine ones that the children got.

    "Karsta. How are you feeling?"

    "Like I'm actually working for a living." And she does actually look tired. Though I suppose that could be due to the fact that by design this facility doesn't invigorate kryptonians anything like as much as the Earth's sun does. "It's rewarding, but I'm feeling my age."

    "Hey, you can sunbathe under a purple healing ray with your fingers crossed if you want." She doesn't look impressed. "No luck finding other kryptonians, then?"

    "If it were easy, Amalak would have found them first."

    And I doubt that Kara In-Ze is going to want to give up her career as a superheroine secret agent to become a childminder. Huh. I never did try finding the local version of Kara What-Ever, did I? I just sort of assumed that she'd either turn up or they already checked and there wasn't one. I mean, sticking her in the phantom zone would have been far safer than a space pod if it was a last minute job.

    Hah! Or maybe we've got one with Power Girl proportions and they couldn't get the lid to shut!



    Yeah, probably shouldn't make jokes about a woman whose entire species got wiped out. Damn ponies. Making me a better person.

    "There wasn't anything on the Doomsday about other kryptonians getting away, was there?"

    "Yes, Grayven, I just didn't want to check up on it until you asked." She frowns. "Why are you here, anyway? Your monthly check-in isn't for another week."

    "We've got a problem. You remember the other version of me I-."

    "He's finally coming here."

    I wince slightly. "To be honest, he was probably coming here from the moment he saw me. Packing up an entire civilisation and shipping it to the other side of the galaxy isn't something that can be done quickly, but I've received intelligence and he's probably going to be here sooner rather than later."

    She shrugs. "The last thing I want is to put Krypton's future in another alien's hands. I can command the Doomsday myself, but none of the kids are going to be ready."

    About what I thought.

    "I don't suppose you can set the Doomsday to work for someone else, can you? With the right wavelength enhancing you, you could easily destroy their smaller ships even without a ship."

    "Anyone can command the Doomsday if I give them access. But there's a difference between controlling a ship and controlling it well. I don't have a second in command who's trained and experienced in using it."

    And goodness knows I couldn't fly it worth a damn.

    "I-. Okay, so he's not kryptonian, but I know a guy who might be able to get the hang of it."

    "Has he commanded a kryptonian warship before?"

    "No. But he is very quick at learning things. His name's Harold Near, he's been working with Lex."

    "Those human warships aren't terrible, but they don't work anything like the Doomsday."

    "Yeah, try.. this guy out before you write him off."

    She looks sceptical, but then shrugs. "Fine, it can't hurt. I guess Earth has enough weirdoes that it shouldn't really surprise me if one was a natural at space combat."

    "Okay. Ah, there's something I need to check on really quickly, but other than Mister Near is there anything you need here?"

    "No, we're fine." … "More children's books and T.V. shows? I wanted to ration them but the tamaraneans wouldn't go for it."

    I nod. "Can do. Back shortly."

    Mother Box.

    Ping.

    I step through the silent hole into interstellar space. Right. Rao is that way and Sol is that way…

    Ring, scan for kryptonite. Fill My Vacancy!

    Scanning. Kryptonite radiation found.

    My vision flickers as my ring relays the information to my visor. Okay, that's one lump that shouldn't be there. Tube me.

    Ping.

    And through again… Giant asteroid made of kryptonite. Okay, if she's even in there I don't want to panic her. Or just have her wander naked through a city wrecking the place like she did in the comic.

    "Grayven to Karsta."

    "That was quick."

    "You've got a medical facility there, right?"

    "It's one big medical facility. Why?"

    "I've got a giant lump of kryptonite that might have a kryptonian inside it. Can you handle it?"

    "The walls are thick enough to block it, and the genomorphs can wear protective overalls. So, yes."

    "Good. Sending it to you now."

    BOOM!

    "Then I'll go and grab Mister Near."
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2021
  5. Pez

    Pez Spaceman

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  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Maybe 'one'

    'sunbathe'

    'that she'd'

    In this universe.

    In other universes where the prisoners can move about and interact with each other like in the regular universe it would be much more dangerous.

    'we've got'

    Wow, we actually see some minor character development of him becoming less of a piece of crap.

    The Spider.

    The guy with the Spock ears who renegade healed.

    remove 'I'
     
  7. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Kara is dead by now, isn't she?

    Also, will Luna join her beau in fighting Other-Grayven?
     
  8. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    x3 Daaaw, what an adorable bunch of future super-men and -women... I do hope they're not getting the full yellow sunlight treatment, though. Can you imagine the fights and tantrums? Would bring a whole new meaning to the 'Terrible Twos'. :confused:

    Ah, the Renegade's weakness: Cute kids.

    I'm impressed he can resist that cuteness. But business before relaxation.

    Delicately is right. Even if they're not 100% powered, there could be a mess if they get into a tug-of-war...

    Ah, sensible. After all, Tamaraneans are fliers, and tough enough to handle the peak-human strength...

    Whoops, someone's in trouble... :D Dang, trying to give us diabetes, Mr Zoat?

    I bet keeping the walls clean is a bitch when kids can draw on the ceiling... Good to see she's not focused on building soldiers, though.

    What with their professional relationship. Wonder if she's forgiven him for basically outing her back on Earth?

    What, she doesn't have a high-intensity sunbed in her quarters? After all, she's one of the facility's primary defences... Alongside a Tamaranean fleet and Orange Lanterns...

    True. Probably a good thing he's dead in this timeline. Imagine if he learned of this. Probably come gunning for them.. once he finished foaming at the mouth...

    Oh, now you think of it. Hopefully she's still alive out there...

    It's called 'not being an arse', Grayven. Good to see you're finally learning to recognise it...

    :p Oof, you could fill a bowl with the sarcasm dripping off that reply... Probably tastes quite spicy.

    Yes, Kryptonians are generally well above the human norm for intelligence, after all. And as a senior military officer, she'd be especially wise.

    And the last thing they need is to be forced into a war at their age. Unless you want the first new generation to be PTSD-suffering army brats...

    That would be blue sunlight, aye? Just watch out for the drawbacks, like burning out your energy organelles... Or turning into an over-muscled hulk (Which happened to Kal-el once, shortly before his electric period.)

    That's not the admiral's job, after all. Unfortunately, you don't have time to train an officer corps, much less sailors.

    Well, give him five minutes, and you'd think he had.

    The Spider, as Darko noted. First seen here...

    If not, he'll certainly relish the challenge... And anything less than total mastery would be unacceptable to him.

    Good move. Do you want bored kids? Because that's how you get bored kids. And you do not want bored kids, especially if they're as intelligent as Kryptonians are.

    "In search of a Supergirl, we go..."

    Heh. About damn time, Grayven.

    Well, you're late, but you got there eventually.

    Assuming she's alive... What's the bet the extra time in the kryptonite has left her permanently weakened?

    "Slight change of plans..."

    So plenty of isolation chambers, I hope.

    Gonna want very comprehensive decontamination procedures there, given its lethality.

    Ah, Boom Tubes. rendering travel time irrelevant.

    Took the Renegade long enough to think of Supergirls. Hopefully his late arrival doesn't end poorly. Meanwhile, I find myself wondering just how much of a force multiplier an Kryptonian warship will be compared to an Apokaliptian dreadnought... We'll likely find out, given Grayven 16's presumed belligerence...


    A little Godspeech:


    I delicately recover my right hand while patting her on the head with my left.
     
  9. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    She can also fly, as can the Tamaraneans, so it may be easy.

    He seemed like someone who's in control of himself, so he may not foam.

    Well, unless Kryptonians are a particular trigger, then he might.

    After what feels like a million chapters we finally see some development.

    Now to see if it continues, or just lasts for more than a chapter or two.

    I think it was mentioned that it can fairly easily destroy an average fleet, or group of ships, so even if it can't do anything against Grayven's ship, it may still damage the Gordanian ships.
     
  10. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    And that's after Zoat nerfed it from its planetkiller status.

    Send a crystal missile. It goes grey goo, converting local matter into more of itself, starts making kryptonian killer robots.

    Unless the planet has a John Conner type capable of defeating the invasion force of self replicating shapeshifting Kryptonian robots.....

    The Doomsday was a flying apocalypse.

    Which Superman beat singlehandedly.

    But then again one of Superman's feats is destroying a replica of the Moon, so kryptonians are also planet busters.
     
  11. WhiteNoise

    WhiteNoise Making the rounds.

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    Oh my!
     
  12. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    No, that's right.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  13. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    It never ceases to amuses how Zoat nerf's everything BUT Power Rings.
     
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  14. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    Given how late he left it, I half expect Kara to have died in this one.

    Missed opportunities and all that.
     
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  15. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I wonder if they'll keep Kara isolated to avoid her finding out about the new Kryptonians, since even Renegade will likely introduce her to Superman at some point.
     
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  16. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Not sure why he'd do that.

    Renegade doesn't exactly care what Superman thinks, so I don't see any reason why he'd care if he found out.

    He may have also found out about it offscreen.

    Though I guess he may have not told him about it because Karsta asked him to not do it.

    She, and apparently Kryptonians in general, would dislike a family simply because someone from it did something they didn't like, even if that happened a long time ago and the ones that are now in the family had nothing to do with it.

    At least that's what I remember Karsta once telling people.
     
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  17. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    They have indeed mellowed his harsh.
     
  18. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Superman may have avoided anything to do with Superboy at the beginning, but that seemed to be a one-time thing, and there was a personal factor involved since it was his genetic material being stolen; if he found out that there was a mass Kryptonian cloning/revitalization program active, tied to Renegade of all people, I think he'd want to be as involved as possible, and by extension the League as well. Now, are they a meaningful threat to Renegade's operations? No, but it does seem like a unnecessary inconvenience, especially now when the real Grayven is heading for him (and I hope he at least calls his brother and Barda to help). I believe avoiding dealing with the Justice League was a factor in that whole excavating the Doomsday super secretly episode, even if it was just one of many.
     
  19. Z3r0Sama

    Z3r0Sama Not too sore, are you?

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    No Karsta said every family has a black sheep in it somewhere, she has no problem with that. Your thinking about when she talked about Daxamites going off to do their anti technology schtick and the whole family went along with it. That's what she had the problem with.
     
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  20. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Mr Zoat, this picture doesn't work anymore. Are there any others that could replace it?
     
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  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    No, I think it was the whole hating the whole family for the sins of a few members.

    When paragon Superman went to see her she attacked him, which indicates that she most likely follows the above mentioned belief of hating everyone in a family just because someone did something wrong.

    And I think she's mentioned a few times that she dislikes El's and doesn't want to have anything to do with them, which would further indicate that she holds the hating a family belief.

    Even if she said that she doesn't care about such things since every family has a black sheep, her actions speak differently.
     
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  22. Ciber

    Ciber Know what you're doing yet?

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    Grayven should film his own children's cartoon in equestria. That would be hilarious. He could dub the audio with human voice actors to make lessons about obeying supreme leader Grayven.
     
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  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yes, the first few pages from Superman/Batman 8. I'll find a legitimate copy this evening.
     
  24. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    Maybe, maybe not.

    They could try a Lazarus put if she is dead, or cloning.
     
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  25. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    A clone wouldn't exactly be Kara, but rather just someone that shares her DNA.

    Though if they cloned a body and transferred the mind, then it may work.
     
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  26. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    They could just clone parts. That used to be a common medical practice on Krypton.
     
  27. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    And if Grayven desires it enough he can fix any problems with her body as long as she is alive. He does have that medical data.
     
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  28. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    When I quoted this, I had misread you as saying "never ceases to amaze." (I'm without glasses for a couple weeks while I wait for a replacement pair to get shipped to me... frickin' vision insurance requiring a mail-in lab...) Had that been the case, I would have had to shake my head, because it really shouldn't be amazing by now.

    However, I still must object at least a little bit. I don't so much think that it's "Zoat nerfs everything but power rings." The central conceit of the story is an exploration of what power rings can do given the canonically-demonstrated powers, a set of definitions and limitations, and a wielder that isn't constrained by the common tropes of comic books.

    Zoatverse power rings are considerably more limited than the fullest set of powers we've seen in the broader DC multiverse, so in a certain sense even power rings have been nerfed (and you've certainly complained about that in the past). And it's been established that this universe in general is comparatively lower-powered than other DC universes, so it should be assumed that most things will be nerfed compared to the original source material. However, there are some things that he's improved on in some ways as well, and power rings aren't the only thing he's noted were underutilized.

    In short, while it's true that lots of stuff is less powerful than in other comics, the main point is that the power sets are better defined.
     
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  29. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Okay, there's now a working picture. Not sure if it's the same one as was originally there.
     
  30. Sockmonkey

    Sockmonkey I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Kryptonians aren't really nerfed much in this fic. They aren't Flash fast, but they're faster than accelerated perception can track, which is pretty darn fast. Plus Superman can dig through solid rock like it's water, so it's about mid-tier compared to all the stuff that's been shown in the comics.
     
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