SHINOBI: The RPG - New Game

Sounds a lot easier to write about, since generally Hunter Nin don't have the time to interrogate their targets unless they were specifically assigned a retrieval mission instead of their usual search & destroy (as in, kill the target and annihilate the corpse) fare.

 

I still fail to understand how Anko remotely finds Daisuke physically attractive or relationship material; I actually wonder if she's in a healthy mindset at all really given the allusions to failed past relationships.

I kinda wonder if others looking at this in the setting don't think anything strange of it?

I keep flipping the genders in my head and going: "Well, that would be one way to quickly ignite a flame war on the inter webs. If people thought the last chapter was at all worth debating."

edit:

I am partially convinced that the entire relationship is only happening because Anko is fundamentally NOT all there.

 

Definitely easier to write about.

I considered Anko to be a pretty...disgusting character because of fanon, something I intensely regret.

Then I do not believe I can convince you. Sorry.

 

It's cool lol I don't need to exactly understand Ankos shota-fetish to enjoy the ride

edit:

still find the lack of audience fallout over it ironic given the last chapter reactions though lmao

 

Cool beans.

 

Oh, yeah, I'm well aware of the ways pervasive fanon can distort canon characters and concepts. I could probably go all day... probably shouldn't, though. In the meantime I'll buckle in for what promises to be an interesting ride exploring Anko's character and relationship with Daisuke and... whoever else they end up close to.

 

I believe the people who thought last chapter was bad dropped the fic when I didn't immediately change it.

It just confuses me, honestly. How can so many people be so wrong?

I hope it's good and entertaining.

 

The interesting thing is that the main reason depends on the fandom- though in the case of Naruto it's probably just people not actually reading the source material before fanfics and assuming the fanfics are correct.

Spoiler: In some cases...

In some cases, it's a combination of a lack of translated Word of God material, said author being a fuckin' troll and also some fanfics putting up interesting ideas, as is the case with the Nasuverse and oh god is the state of that fandom horrible in the West. Most fanfics you'll read will undoubtedly portray about half of the major concepts or more completely incorrectly because they both believe the fanfics are correct and have no reliable way to fact-check. It took me literal months to fully separate fact from fanfiction when I started trying, and even then I had to luck into finding some translations on SB- a couple are linked in my sig.

 

That...that makes sense. Language barrier can be insurmountable without effective translators and waiting for those translators can be too long for some zealous authors.

*whistles*

A trolling creator is not something that I would have anticipated. Not going to lie.

 

Yeah it's had me strike as weird as well. Especially since anko has trust issues due to orochimaru's betrayal

Hidan is it you

 

Ooh, you're right! I can use this, thank you.

No, but Hidan has an association with this character.

 

It's either that or one person comes up with an interesting AU idea, and then someone reads the fanfic and misses the fact that it's an AU, writes a fanfic with some of the ideas and it kind of permeates from there.

Oh god, I could go all day. That's not even getting into- no, no, gotta stop there. Wrong thread.

 

Like a twisted form of the telephone game. I wish I could watch that sort of thing happen in real time, that kind of data would be amazing to see.

Shoot me a PM if you care.

 

No that’s Jashin. Hidan’s god

 

Have a cookie, you've got a good memory!

 

Nah, I just needed a sec to calm down- it's all good. Thanks for the offer, though

 

Well, since I got you here, did you like anything else about the chapter? Anything to say about the previous chapter and it's...edit?

 

I think that this a great story but I won't be the biggest fan of harem as it kills muh immersion but I hope to see more.

 

I can respect that position. Thank you for remaining along.

 

Anko considering the potential tea sets and how they'd symbolically represent her relationship with Daisuke was... really interesting, and I liked it a lot. It added a lot of passive depth to her character, and let us deeper into her thought process alongside her consideration of recent events.

In terms of Retrieval... hm. The edited bit was a nice touch, and the last line of the changes made me laugh. But, uh, the rest of the chapter felt pretty clunky and ham-fisted on a reread; and in retrospect, the arc felt a bit too abbreviated compared to how well-fleshed-out the house was in the same number of chapters... which admittedly contributes to my feeling that the latter two thirds of Retrieval felt off.

I'm having a bit of trouble putting it into words, sorry.

 

You know I’m reminded of a post that I’ve saved a while back, can’t remember where I got it from, but I’m pretty sure it’s accurate, or at least not derailing here.

I mean it’s the reason you don’t see a lot of Lord of the Rings fics they’re pretty much open and close there.

 

I'm glad you said so.

Thank you very much for your critique, I will consider it.

Think bringing Team 9 along really messed with me. Because while I knew what I wanted to do with Lee and Gai...I did not know what to do with Neji and Tenten.

I think some extra changes are in order.

Have a cookie.

I appreciate the information! This is interesting, thank you.

 

In the vein of that, Team 9 as a whole felt pretty... tertiary to the reveal scene in particular. Like they weren't supposed to be there, except for Gai to accidentally set up Sarutobi completely destroying Hisako's heart in the next scene.

Also, on the topic of Sarutobi, that exact conversation felt like it should've happened... maybe after they actually made it back to the village? They were at a point in time where Saru'd be more focused on the security of the Leaf and Hiashi'd be more focused on the security of his clan than... basically trying to curry favor with Daisuke. I was expecting a scene more along the lines of Saru and Hiashi inspecting the box's sealwork and reading any documents that'd survived Daisuke's fight with the missing nin, while also conversing with the ninja who'd foiled the kidnapping attempt about the kidnapping attempt.

 

Yes, I agree. This is all true.

...again, I appreciate the feedback.

*grumbles*: I hate Team 9.

 

snerks Uh, to be honest it seems more like you had a very clear picture of where you wanted to be at the end of this arc, but kind of ended up speedrunning it to get there instead of fleshing everything out.

 

As the guy writing the fic, I had no idea what to do with Tenten and Neji was fuzzy but I had no clear route in my head about how to handle him.

 

Fair, but hey, eating your greens is how you get to Kitsune hype, and the midgame. And you did do a reasonable job of them compared to canon.

Gai is excellent life giver, Lee is best cinnamon roll, early Neji is a rancid dick pickle being set up to fall to Naruto taking Daisuke's sloppy seconds, and Ten-Ten actually has some measure of purpose being support for Hisako.

Everyone is equivalent or better quality to their canon portrayals.

 

That's as good a reason to hate writing Team 9 as any I suppose, but I was being honest when I said it felt like you were speedrunning the arc. Reading back through, it's as if you had two goals in mind: "Get Daisuke's RPG-ness revealed" and "get the harem idea out in the open and a source of conflict with Hisako", and didn't quite care how you got there as long as it was by the end of the quest.

I agree with this, you did write the characters themselves well.

 

I liked Anko's bit.

Anyone who has ever read a ton of fanfiction in their youth can sympatize with Fanmade content twisting their perspective on characters.

I mean, just remember how many people though PerfectLionhart was actually a good writer.


To be honest the biggest peeve with this story at the moment is having made Naruto into someone who doesnt really train because he doesnt see Daisuke train.

It kind of takes a really important part of his character for a really nonsensical reason.

 

Thank you. *Takes cookie. Eats it.* Hhhhmmmmm digital triple chocolate deliciousness. I can taste the 1s and 0s. Also no problem with the information. I’ve been meaning to share that for a while, but I just couldn’t find a good reason to share it until now.