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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. freakytiki34

    freakytiki34 Making the rounds.

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    His frustration with Diana is palpable
     
  2. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Astarte would have had the opportunity to grow up on a magic active planet.

    Her daughter, not so much.

    Such a Zoat thing to say.

    Also missing a . at the end.

    'civilised' or 'civilised'

    Either some of her divine heritage or something from her father's side.

    'is getting less severe or something like that.

    'and then'

    'to anchor'
     
  3. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    No... He aimed all the attacks at the dragon because it's a big mass of points and it's kill would have guaranteed him the win...

    In the game that's called "Tactics", because Warhammer battles don't run on the real life rule of "the survivor wins".

    And your being a god is completely meaningless here because it's Diana who's fighting the actual leader.

    You're the King of Bad Ideas, so I will take that as a ringing endorsement of Diana's actual plan.
     
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  4. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Yes, the fun of two super-durable people fighting in amongst those who aren't unusually tough. I rather suspect Theana's little green outfit is now a rather red outfit. And Blue, and Purple, and whatever other colours of blood are present in the crowd...

    Probably some benefit from her quarter-divine heritage. Because of course DC demigods get superpowers.

    Heh, a little moment of mercy for one of the little people. Perhaps she'll remember that, when the good guys have won the day.

    ...Or she'll spend the rest of her life wondering what made her so special he'd help her... Either way, you get to mess with someone's head.

    No, this lesson is going to have to be delivered very percussively. Up close and personal.

    Which was lucky for the Undead player. There was just as much chance that the mount would simply flee the field. Or sit in place, guarding the rider's body. But, as Vaermina pointed out, the rider was worth less than the mount in terms of victory points (because no Elf Lord is as valuable or powerful as a Dragon, in ingame points....)

    It would take weeks, especially if they scatter. On the upside, as a fleet-based nation, all you have to do is destroy the ships beyond repair... But you don't have weeks.

    :rolleyes: Only on a technicality and a bit of mystical soul-surgery...

    ...Are you sure she's not got some exceptional genes in there? That's pretty nasty strong.

    And you're also having to do this basically unarmed because your ego demanded a big, big sword... And in a close grapple like this? It's an obstacle more than a weapon.

    Yeah, this is going to be quite the beatdown... And since she's so tough, you're going to have to basically dismantle her, one joint at a time...

    Trying to discreetly coordinate? I suspect that's a bad idea to distract her right now... Her aunt is probably a tough enough fight that she needs every bit of concentration she can get.

    And even if she did, it would probably have broken in the first few hits...

    Oof, there's a hit to the God-bonus. And she's not even engaging him on the Divine-Narrative level...

    Yep. Employing super-strength without a solid grounding? Newton's Third Law will make you its' bitch.

    Ooof. On the one hand, it shifts the collateral damage from the surrounding population to just the ship's systems... But it also takes the fight out of public view, unless some of the spectators have the guts to peek over the edge of the hole...

    Interesting. I see she's employing the power of Truth to try and defeat Astarte. Have to wonder just how effective that'll be, since she's spent something like 30 times longer with the Citizenry than she did in her homeland.

    About time. I rather expect her sword was a lot more use in grappling like this than your surfboard-wannabe...

    That's got to sting. That'll be shrapnel punching into her forearm, at the minimum. Plus burns from the destroyed energy source.

    Ah, the shit you can pull off when you don't have to obey the local gravity.

    Probably working on pure trained instinct by now, given how her brain is being bounced around inside her skull.

    And she's going dark... I feel like the spectators (any who can see) should be counting them off, like in a wrestling match... :D

    ...Really hammering the point home, huh, Renegade? :p

    Yeah, don't want to leave her with more dain bramage than she already has...

    Hopefully whatever healing factor she has can cope with the concussion you gave her.

    Well, one down for the count. And now to display her beaten body to the crowd. Though I would not be surprised to find everyone not in the splash zone between those two basically ignored the byplay. That sort of thing probably breaks out all the time... Now to see how Diana's doing back in the actual ring. From the sound of it, she was dominating...
     
  5. Taisei

    Taisei Unsung Supporting Character

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    I'm mostly a lurker and I'm sure you've heard this before, but I remember seeing you comment on With This Ring threads all the way back in like 2014-2015 on SB, You're almost as dedicated as Zoat when it comes to posting daily for this story! :D

    There are a few other people that are super long-time posters but you're probably one of the most consistent.
     
  6. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Though in her homeland she may have felt things such as love and safety, while with the Citizenry she may have just felt fear and hatred, so maybe Diana can reawaken that old part of her.
     
  7. AmericanNumbers

    AmericanNumbers Not too sore, are you?

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    If i remember correctly there was some sort of brainwash component for the Citizenry so Diana's truth attack worked in the original story.

    Renegade actually being nicer than Paragon and stopping before beating her to a pulp (or makimg her eat an Arm). He did rebuild his soul with Friendship.
     
  8. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Flash killed the Sheeda Queen in the middle of peace negotiations told everyone there he wasn't sorry for doing it and later tried to kill himself.
     
  9. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    I don't remember the latter happening. Is there a quote someone can link?
     
  10. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    And why should that stop the ring from doing what it's master desires? Surely it could directly vibrate the air in Dianna's ear.
     
  11. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    No, those are correct.
    I'm sorry, what?
     
  12. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    I originally read this as Barry tried to kill himself and Paul was asking for clarification. But I don't know if it's worded weirdly or uses a British euphemism I don't know?
     
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    'Did he jump or was he pushed' doesn't literally mean 'did he kill himself or was he murdered', it means 'was this action made of his own volition or was it compelled'.
     
  14. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Oh, thanx for clearing that up.
     
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  15. Hell's Razer

    Hell's Razer Passive Member

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    Is it not a shame then that for the longest time he has NEVER posted something that is not whining about something in the chapter of the day?
    We are talking about literal years of complaining. Daily.
    I mean it really is something else to read something you do not enjoy every day just to complain about it.
    Especially since you know the author of the story has long had you on ignore due to said behaviour.
    It's just sad and annoying, like an abandoned chihuahua yapping at people passing by for not paying attention to it.
     
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  16. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Now now, that's rather rude of you.

    There isn't chihuahua that could ever be as bad as Vaermina.
     
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  17. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    Vaermina input hasn't always been negative, it's just mostly negative.

    But let's not derail the fic by talking about the behavior of a few posters.

    Liked the update, wonder what is going to happen now.
     
  18. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    I'm happy for everyone to enjoy the story in whatever way they chose to. If Vaermina likes it because it gets their spleen going, I'm happy for them.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2021
  19. HearthBorn

    HearthBorn Know what you're doing yet?

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    I'm a bit surprised he didn't create an earpiece in Diana's ear, but Renegade is a bit less proficient with his rings than Paragon Paul. For that matter, I'm definitely surprised that the JL as a whole doesn't have them already. Maybe she only puts it in for work with that team.
     
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  20. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Or she had an earpiece but it was destroyed in the fight.
     
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  21. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    While Oh-El did so with greed and lost his humanity.
     
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  22. hance1986

    hance1986 A pitiful excuse for a man.

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    should be ' loose '
     
  23. PDV

    PDV Revelation That Uncertainty Is Itself An Answer

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    When did Paragon face this horde?
     
  24. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    Not exactly.

    Rather what was getting to social darwinist Theana was that Diana speaks softly while carrying a big stick.

    Diana wasn't an inferior asking for mercy because she was afraid to die, she was a stronger opponent offering mercy because she was giving Theana the opportunity to live.

    So really it was about respecting Diana's strength, and that her ethos, as alien as it was to Theana, was the ethos of a warrior who was stronger than her.

    It might have turned into more, but Astarte had Theana shot in the back, which royally pissed off Diana.
     
  25. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  26. AidanMorgan

    AidanMorgan Essentially Overworked

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    I don't believe he did; I meant that Diana's divine nature has come up as a part of the story before and it's probably Truth, given her lie detector sense, but Justice is a close runner up.
     
  27. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    A paraphrasing of that was used by the mods on Twisting The Hellmouth, which (me being unfamiliar with the expression apart from a story that did take it somewhat literally, and an author that I liked having recently-at-the-time killed himself) had me thinking that Joehundredaire had ended his life, rather than him just quitting the platform. Not really sure if the implication was accidental on their parts, though.

    I feel like I've had something like this conversation before.
     
  28. Tzeentch

    Tzeentch I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Looking back at this, I can't believe I didn't notice this before.

    Considering how.... temperamental the male beast-people are, did Paul manage to capture some of them and edit them like he did the Dark Elves, or were there some humans in the village that took a look at the beastwomen and thought, "You know, they seem nice enough, so I might as well try something new...."?
     
  29. Threadmarks: Veganism (part 13)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    1st September 2012
    15:42 GMT


    Diana had better have won.

    It's a simple calculation, really. She's not Artemis, but we're unified by purpose. If she's won, then we can use our divine voices to imprint ourselves on the watching Citizens over the crumpled bodies of their domitor and her heir apparent. If she hasn't then I'm about to look...

    I look across the arena and see Astarte bound in Diana's lasso, Diana herself looking a bit the worse for wear while Astarte…

    I'm not sure what Diana's done there, but she looks… Crushed.

    Wonderful!

    I-.

    "…become something more than the murderers of worlds!"

    Oh. I'm interrupting a heroic speech while covered in the blood of the people she was trying to convince. That's not a great look-. But some of the audience are looking at me so I can't really just hide and wait.

    So what do I do?

    "I see in all of you the potential to be something…"

    I tune Diana out of a moment as my mind races.

    Okay, so, conceptually, Diana and I can work together just fine. And if I flew out to the centre of the arena right now I'd have about-.

    I clean blood off myself.

    I'd have about-.

    And Theana.

    I'd have about four seconds to explain what we need to do to make this work, and convince her to go along with it, and she's already pretty dubious of my intentions. The first thing to do is create construct ropes to bind Theana to create a visual link to her lasso and make it clear that she's a prisoner and not a corpse. Make it so that they prop her up a bit as well.

    Okay, if I accept-
    I don't shudder.
    -a subordinate role, I can reinforce Diana's efforts instead of making my own attempt. It won't work as well as the two of us working in concert and it would deny me any influence over them in-

    [​IMG]

    - future, so…

    Damn it.

    I fly towards Diana as her vacuously uplifting speech continues, not so slow as to make a production out of it and not so fast as to look desperate or afraid. Diana barely pauses in her flow as she spots me, though I think I detect a mild lessening of animosity towards me as she sees for herself that Theana is still-

    She doesn't know who Theana is, does she?

    -alive.

    I land a short distance behind her, depositing Theana slightly behind Astarte. Astarte's eyes drift to her daughter for a few moment but she doesn't really seem to be taking things in. I do my best to look like Diana's attendant as she gradually reaches the end of her monologue.

    "…together, make our civilisation into something great!" Inspire the Soul to Dream.

    I make an effort not to sigh. The Iron Hand for the Glove.

    "Okay, Diana, what now?"

    "Who is this?"

    The crowd appears to be talking about things amongst themselves, though there's a definite drift towards the exits. I hope they've taken that speech as the new boss setting out her policy.

    "Her name's Theana. She's your cousin. Apparently the only one. Still alive." With the attention somewhat off me, this time I do sigh. "I assume that we're leaving them alive, then?"

    "Yes."

    "Right, so do you have eyes in the back of your head now? Because I don't know what you did to Astarte, but Theana is planning on killing you."

    "I made her have a conversation with her younger self, from when she volunteered to join the Citizenry in my mother's place."

    I give her a look of-.

    "Do not look at me like that. I did not realise that the effect would be so severe."

    "Breaking her will is kinder than killing-." I frown. "Isn't there..? Don't I remember something about Hades having access to water that can erase a person's memories?"

    "The waters of the river Lethe can have that effect."

    "Can you erase three thousand years? Reset her back to who she used to be?"

    "That would destroy who she is."

    "And what she is is so valuable? Is she giving you the impression that she likes who she has become?"

    She considers her aunt for a moment.

    "You don't need to wipe her out completely. Just take everything until just after she left."

    "And Theana?"

    "Why not hand her over to Philippus for a decade or so? I'm sure that your mother would like to get to know her, and Philippus has experience in wrangling difficult demigoddesses."

    Flat look.

    "And some of the island's other demigoddesses can keep an eye on her. And you could hand off ambassador duties to Orana like she's wanted you to since the end of the Second World War." I shrug. "Or take her with you. I'm sure she'd be happy either way. Now you've just got to find Four Ears, and then-"

    "Lieutenant Zusen."

    "-you can-. Her too, and then you can navigate the fleet to an unoccupied planet and start settling down."

    She frowns. "Don't you want my help?"

    "Yes, of course, but I'm not entirely convinced that your new people can be trusted to obey you and not depopulate Vega."

    "And Artemis hasn't finished planting explosives everywhere yet."

    I smile, shrugging. "Probably not, but she's an industrious woman."

    "I believe that they can be relied upon to follow my commands. If we engage Grayven away from your worlds, the Providers will not be able to reach them even if they are released contrary to my orders. It isn't necessary for-"

    My ring blinks.

    "-them-."

    "Excuse me." I raise my left hand. "Yes?"

    "Daddy? We're under attack."
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2021
  30. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    Oh man. Somebody gonna die. Maybe a lot of somebodies.
     
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