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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    using -> uses (I think this should match the conjugation of the earlier "catches") [Is conjugation the right word here?? I know what sounds right in my head but I'm hazy on the details of grammar.]
     
  2. Rafin

    Rafin Not too sore, are you?

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    What about the sector that has the planet with the culture that used to blind all their women? My understanding was that one of the two Orange Lanterns from there stayed behind to deal with stuff.
     
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  3. hance1986

    hance1986 A pitiful excuse for a man.

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    I like how Hinon's response was like a nanosecond later from when Paul asked. It highlights the enhanced mental abilities Maltusians have.
     
  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    No, both are operating out of Maltus.
     
  5. SaltyWaffles

    SaltyWaffles I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    The problem is the Guardians run the GLC, and they don't really "do" official channels with peer powers. They'd respond to a fellow Maltusian, but they wouldn't internalize that Paul is, in fact, someone who founded the Orange Lantern Corps, took down Larfleeze without a fight, and is Ophidian's favorite person ever, and thus someone worthy of being treated like a peer when it comes to diplomatic/political relations.

    As usual, the Maltusians have a massive arrogance problem that does them (and everyone else) no favors. Hell, the fact that the Guardians still refuse to reproduce even as their numbers gradually dwindle to nothing (while the GLC remains unable to uphold its mission even as it is) shows that, for all of their brilliance, their general aloofness to the reality around them is their fatal flaw. Still, there is an understandable element at play: the OLC is almost totally focused on the Reach, which is mostly beyond the focus of the GLC, so there isn't much interaction going on (yet). But given Paul's numerous interactions with the GLC so far, this isn't much of an excuse.

    The bigger problem is that Guy is unwilling to just...y'know, accept a call for a temporary cease-fire so that Paul can even make an attempt at diplomacy.

    I strongly suspect that at this point, Guy's continued stubbornness is more about really wanting to test himself against such a great opponent rather than a refusal against a diplomatic solution on principle. Of course, since they're all Green Lanterns (and not Orange, Violet, or Pink), they can just do this kind of fight as a friendly spar without worrying about not being able to test their strength because they can't muster the proper emotion for a mere spar.

    If Paul felt the need to end the fight immediately, I suspect he'd summon Ophidian and just try to get in-between the combatants (while also putting a stop to any attempt at a breakout) so that he can start explaining to them that Priest doesn't actually want to leave and that this whole fight is completely unnecessary.
     
  6. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Unless there's some British idiom I'm not familiar with, "Need to stop" because it's implied to be "I need".

    Conjugation is valid there. You could have also referred to tense and been correct; the conjugation is how the word itself changes while the tense describes the meaning that the form of the word implies.
     
  7. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  8. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Is there a word for flame moving across a surface?
     
  9. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Like a will o' wisp?
     
  10. Ryumancer

    Ryumancer Dragons Are Romance

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    I don't think there's an explicit word for it, but 'flowing' or just 'spreading' tends to be the closest i've seen, more the latter than the former. It's not fancy, it's not elegant, but it's functional.
     
  11. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    Ignite or Enkindle.

    I'd go with Ryumancer for terms describing movement more then the flames, 'Racing' 'Raging' or 'Dancing' are a good ones as well.
     
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  12. Uyurgezn

    Uyurgezn Making the rounds.

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    Licking it?
     
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  13. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Oil fire event? If there is a word for it that's likely the angle you gotta look.
     
  14. CTrees

    CTrees Chasing the ring

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    Cascade, coruscate, deflagrate, enkindle, surge
     
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  15. Bramble Thorn

    Bramble Thorn Verified Silhouette

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    Yeah, no specific word. Just break out some synonyms from the thesaurus.

    unfold, unroll, expand, emit, diffuse, radiate, disperse, scatter, publish, circulate, promulgate, propagate, stretch, dilate, reach, compass.

    I like promulgate or propagate myself.
     
  16. Threadmarks: A Waltz in Orange and Green (part 13)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    10th September 2012
    18:40 GMT


    I glance up as Chaselon vanishes from my ring. Malvolio appears to have decided to focus on Apros exclusively, and is currently creating a giant flaming box construct to hem him in. Guy is trying to break it using a construct heat shield around a bundle of crumblers, but while that works, Malvolio's construct doesn't flat out fail. Instead, the edges of the breach burn more viciously, extending the construct back over the hole.

    "Illustres."

    I immediately give Guardian Broome my full attention. The image of her head above my ring is actually larger than it was from my perspective when I met the Guardians in person. She looks old, and not in the slightly saggy way Hinon does. She's shrivelled, the skin stretched over her face and wattles sagging beneath her jaw where it hasn't adjusted to the gradual wasting of the flesh beneath. Her eyes are completely focused on me, unblinking and clearly communicating that this better be important.

    "What is it?"

    Don't explain who people are. She has access to all Green Lantern Corps records… Maybe not with a thought. Maybe without one, just… Knowing everything all of the time.

    "Honour Guard Lanterns Gardner and Apros are fighting and losing to Lord Malvolio in an attempt to liberate former Lantern Priest. I would like you to order them to stop so that I can negotiate a peaceful settlement. Malvolio is the product of four centuries' exposure to the green light of will, and hence is an interesting case study into what might happen to Lantern Gardner. Or to Lantern Scott or myself. If he were unduly damaged, that opportunity would be lost. The deaths of the Green Lantern Corps members in system would be inconvenient if the fight did not go in their favour, especially as Gardner is the only living person to have bonded with Ion."

    "They are presently engaged in combat. Will Malvolio simply allow them to leave?"

    "I'm reasonably sure that I can create a temporary truce. Whether or not he will allow them to leave would probably depend on how the negotiations go. At worst, there'll be a brief pause in hostilities and the Corps will lose nothing."

    "I expect copies of every report, and I would like Lantern Gardner involved."

    "Not a problem."

    She regards me for a couple of seconds, then her face vanishes.

    "That's longer than I've spoken to a Guardian for since I joined the Corps."

    "To be fair, there isn't much reason for a Sector Lantern to speak to a Guardian. And they're not exactly good-"

    Lantern Apros is pushing hard against the box containing him and Lord Malvolio forces it smaller and smaller while fending off Guy with bolts of green light. Honestly, I'm a little surprised that he hasn't tried asking Ion for help yet, given the difficulty he's having.

    "Illustres to Lord Malvolio. I have negotiated a ceasefire-"

    Guy's ring shimmers as he weaves around Malvolio's shots, and he grimaces.

    "-with the Guardians. Once Guy receives it, please break off until negotiations are over."

    "What proof have I that they will break off when commanded?"

    "I'm going to stick a really big orange shield between the belligerent parties, and will start fighting anyone who breaks the ceasefire before negotiations comprehensively fail."

    Guy slows in space, his eyes going from his ring to Lord Malvolio and back again. Malvolio stares at Guy for a moment, then slowly dismisses the box around Apros. Avis darts in and appears to offer to assist, but Apros waves him away with a tentacle. Guy floats closer to the two of them so that he can more easily offer support.

    Right then.

    "Lantern Vinkent, please accompany me."

    "Yes."

    I fly towards the green-glowing Lanterns, Vinkent just behind me. I suppose that I don't really need to get closer, but it might help psychologically if the guarantor is right there.

    Malvolio's flaming aura shrinks a little as I approach, which I'm taking as a positive sign.

    "Gentlemen, thank you for-."

    "Y'went t' tha Guardians."

    Guy folds his arms across his chest and puts on his most mulish expression.

    "I went to the Guardians because you're being a belligerent idiot. I'd hoped you'd got over this-"

    "Oh this is not-"

    "-impulse, but if you-"

    "-tha same-"

    "-need someone smacking some-"

    "-thing at all, you-"

    "-sense into you, then I'd-"

    "-backstabbing, rank-pulling little sneak."

    "-rather it be me or a Guardian rather than Malvolio."

    Apros lays a tentacle on Guy's left shoulder while I turn to Lord Malvolio.

    "Thank you for giving them -and me- a chance."

    "I thought that you had betrayed me when you entered Priest's prison. I will have an explanation."

    "Priest has lived a very long time. He wasn't much freer during your imprisonment than you were. Without knowing what he wanted, I couldn't know what to suggest for a resolution."

    Apros moves his tentacles in a gesture indicating a polite request for attention.

    "What did former Lantern Priest tell you?"

    "In summary? Don't fight to free him, Malvolio's not that bad and being in prison for a while doesn't bother him."

    "An' we gotta take your word fer that? You've been acting real friendly with…"

    Guy nods at Malvolio.

    "Yes, because I prefer to gain knowledge by peaceful discussion rather than breaking and entering. If you're implying that he's controlling my actions, you can ask the Ophidian if you like. Priest said that anyone who uses the emotional spectrum inevitably influences those around them in accordance with that emotion, so he's probably had some influence on all of us, but at this point-"

    Of course.

    "-he's probably having a bigger impact on you than on me, which is why you're acting up, because you can't reconcile his focus with yours."

    "Huh? That's-." Guy frowns. "Yeah, that… Could happen. Gimme a sec."

    Guy closes his eyes and draws his legs into a cross-legged pose. I feel… Something… I don't think he's exactly communing with Ion, but he's doing something he wasn't doing before.

    "Right." He opens his eyes, and they're blank green orbs. "What're yah proposin'?"
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2021
  17. JamesEye

    JamesEye Not too sore, are you?

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    Love it when lanterns just casually communicate with their light providers. Always just so cool to read.

    Also just reading light providers made me think of casually calling up your power company to talk about your houses lights haha.
     
  18. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'works, Malvolio's construct'

    I really hate it when a conversation is written like this.

    'for giving'

    'had some'
     
  19. BlueMangoAdea

    BlueMangoAdea Alive. For now.

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    I liked it because it actually feels like an argument where they are trying to talk over each ither. Feels realistic.
     
  20. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I know, but it's still kinda annoying to read.
     
  21. rkyeun

    rkyeun Cabbitus Maximus

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    If you can find a better way to write such an overtalking, the writing world will be grateful.
     
  22. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    My power company might as well be Mafia fir the fast one they pulled on me.
     
  23. Lone Courier 6

    Lone Courier 6 Wanderer of threads

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    Feels like Paul got his way, way too easily…
     
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  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  25. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    "hole" instead of "whole", and then the redundancy is a bit awkward.
     
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  26. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Paul uses Talk To Manager! It's very effective!

    Guy uses Talk To Daddy Whale! It's super effectivce!
     
  27. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    I guess he's dismissed Guy as a mare mere thug, and sees Apros' mental assaults as more dangerous. And again, we see Crumblers failing to affect Malvolio's constructs very well. I wonder how much his greater expenditure of Green Light improves their resilience?

    That kind of suggests she cares little, if at all, for the state of her mortal shell. And makes her look a bit more like the movie version. I'm guessing she sees maintaining her looks as unnecessary vanity...

    And anything she doesn't have in her head at all times, she can call on via the Ring network, I expect. Probably more annoyed by having you waste her valuable time...

    Nicely laid out. Describing the situation, what you want and good reasons for acceding, all in one.

    And if he's mad at you, better to have all the hands you can get, after all...

    Well, maybe for Guy. Hopefully once the situation is laid out, including Priest's requests and his blood has cooled a bit...

    Joy of being an Illustres: Getting to talk to the big muck-a-mucks. Also a drawback, if they're mad.

    Let's hope Guy gets the call before Apros becomes a packed sushi dinner...

    Ah, there we go. And it looks like he's not happy about it...

    And Malvolio finally talks via the Ring. I'd wondered if he knew how, but I'm sure Priest covered that.

    Which also means they're a smaller target. Putting a lot of trust in someone they were just fighting...

    Do I detect a little awe, Lantern? I'm not surprised, OL has that effect on people. The ones that don't get upset, anyway.

    Looks like all those stubborn heads have cooled off, then. Though if one of the Greenies try something, I foresee an orange smackdown.

    Yes, well, you weren't listening.

    Ah, this will be entertaining. Guy does need his ego deflated every once in a while.

    ...Assuming he bothers to listen to OL. Also, more Enlightened back-and-forth? I really hope you have some manner of macro for the quotation marks, Mr Zoat...

    ...Because doing it by hand would have been annoying as. :oops:

    Unfortunately, I don't think Guy would take the right message from Malvolio's chastisement...

    At the least, OL might want to placate him with a few beers later.

    Yeah, when even your fellow Lanterns think you're being a bit... Excessive? You might be in the wrong, Guy.

    ...Which might explain how the Sector got as bad as it did. Did Priest actually have a partner Lantern in the area to serve as (somewhat overworked) backup, or was the whole region being left unattended?

    Heh. Taking charge because Guy's clearly not in the mood for talking nice...

    Why, Guy, I didn't know you were the jealous type... :p

    ...Which Guy can do, via Ion. The joy of dealing with Embodiment hosts...

    Like suffering a case of mental static. Imagine two signals on the same wavelength, but with different timing. That would definitely put someone on edge...

    Drawing on Ion to reinforce his 'I AM' technique? Clever, Guy.

    That went well... So far. Still quite a bit of discussion to be had (and coloured quotation marks a-gogo) though... At least cooler heads have prevailed and no-one's likely to throw a punch unless really provoked. Now, to see if Malvolio can have a polite conversation with his peers. And if Guy can do the same...


    Perhaps change the second 'hole' into 'breach'?
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2021
  28. AverusBlack

    AverusBlack AKA Aisling

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    Guy is such a horses ass, his reputation precedes him.

    Still love him for being such a savage though.
     
  29. Radiant Knight

    Radiant Knight Phoenix Fire

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    I like that the Guardians have finally sort of just come to grips with the fact that they can't make Paul go away and are going to have to put up with him, so they might as well just take the damn olive branch when he offers it.
     
  30. Dakkan Sall

    Dakkan Sall Random Encounter

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    "Guardians"? I know you're leaning into Guy's accent here, but I believe that he's used the 'r' before. Unless he's also a bit addled from combat or such.
     
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