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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Paragon is allergic to rationality so I doubt it.

    Maybe the New God of bad descisions.

    Or the New God of dumb luck.
     
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  2. Aabcehmu

    Aabcehmu Confusion As a Natural State of Being

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    I don't think that Paragon could conceivably become anything other than the New God of Avarice. The fact that his godspeech takes the form of debate club-esque invocations of rhetorics terminology doesn't really change that.
     
  3. kedgisgo

    kedgisgo Semi-Professional Lurker

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    it might be the apocalyptian backer showing up to give a "Reason You Suck" / You have Failed Me speech to Sparta
    with a dash of "Fine, I'll Do It Myself" thrown in for good measure..

    or it might be a New Genesis god showing up to counter... ahahaha no, no.. cant even get through that suggestion..

    the last idea of what it could be is Dox showing up via boom tube "You are late with filing your reports, Illustres."
    because paperwork is important.
     
  4. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    I hope Paul will be able to help awaken the Grundy Goddess now (though I believe she was mostly fixed physically). They could provide a huge contrast with Canis.
     
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  5. Silverias

    Silverias Know what you're doing yet?

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    Yeah, OL's soul just keeps getting weirder and godlier.

    All towards the Ambush Bug future.
     
  6. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I think that should be Common Sense Paul's thing if anything. He's missed out on all the crazy power-ups that Paragon, Renegade and others have gotten, so I feel like we should throw him a bone (as the story is decided by vote and not author fiat, right?)
     
  7. Mastigos2

    Mastigos2 Versed in the lewd.

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    So I think part of what's going on in this scene is that a certain snek was ... less than pleased at being separated from OL and just finished worming her way back in through the blockage
     
  8. Breadnaught

    Breadnaught Experienced.

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    The Titan Rhea left Earth and resettled elsewhere. She used some of the primordial essence of her siblings to create some new gods in their memory/image. She also banged a bunch of the local species and spawned a load of demigods.

    Accounts vary, but from the looks of it, the demigods started their own version of the Augment Wars, where they took control of the mortals and wared for dominance between each other.

    At some point Rhea died and the gods said "These people are dicks. Screw this place, we should just leave." So they did.

    After they left, one of the demigods - Sparta - rose to dominance and decided to unite the separate factions by creating a common enemy, blaming their problems on the gods. "Those guys were the real cause of all our fighting, then they left. Let's follow, kill them, and take their stuff." So they did.

    But there also seems to be a New God from Apokalypse involved somewhere, supplying Sparta with weapons and technology. But she's trying to keep that a secret for now, so we don't know any details.
     
  9. Massgamer

    Massgamer Not too sore, are you?

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    This is why you always record the monologues, especially for villains trying to be sneaky.
     
  10. Silveraith

    Silveraith Argent Phantasm

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    We've.
     
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  11. Dappershire

    Dappershire Getting out there.

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    So question unrelated to the current page. Is the Honden something entirely created by Zoat, or is there a mention in the comics about something similar with the Greens? And here, have we seen parallels of the Honden in any of the other Emotional Spectrums?
     
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  12. nick012000

    nick012000 Gone for Good

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    IIRC there's the Will World for the Green Lanterns, which is trippy as fuck.
     
  13. Huttj509

    Huttj509 Getting sticky.

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    Yeah, but Paragon knows he's doing it, and is doing so on purpose to meet the opposing force head on.
     
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  14. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Yea, but Will World is something completely different.

    So the answer to Dappershire would be that it's something entirely created by Zoat to power up his Self Insert.
     
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  15. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    Zoat in this fic equates the emotions of the Emotional Electromagnetic Spectrum with the elemental powers of the Lifeweb. DC does not, although there is apparently a connection through the White Light Entity.

    Post flashpoint the elemental powers have their own pocket dimensions, pre-flashpoint the Parliament of Trees lived in Brazil.

    So since Zoat made the emotions elemental powers, he gave them their own pocket dimensions like the other elemental powers.
     
  16. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Random question but when Alan was a green lantern did his ring affect wood in this universe?
     
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  17. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    One pit of depravity that I've avoided. Then again, I am here...
    Yes, because I went with the Yalan Gur origin for his ring rather than any of the others.
     
  18. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    In praise of eros update for this concept when?
     
  19. Silveraith

    Silveraith Argent Phantasm

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    Keeping.
     
  20. Threadmarks: Sungate (part 37)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    11th September 2012
    21:03 GMT


    "Please, don't. That's not going to-."

    Sparta leaps backwards, sailing into the opening boom tube aperture. I dart forward, but I'm not exactly sure what happens if you're part-way into a boom tube when it shuts down and I hesitate for long enough for it to close without me.

    And… Half. She managed to take half of the Seeds with her. My own connection frays a moment later since I no longer have a connection to them via her. Athyns moves to pick them up but I hold up a right hand to stop him. The Ascendants aren't following Sparta's order to kill us, but they're not exactly happy with the situation and I think they might revert to default if we don't handle this extremely carefully.

    "Do any of you know where she went?"

    The physician shakes his head, staring at the space where she disappeared.

    "No. I didn't even know those could be made small enough for one person. We-. We landed troops in the face of your strongest defences because she told us that."

    "Okay, then-. What's your name?"

    "Pontico."

    "Hi." I pull out a card with my name written on it, careful not to look at it myself. "I can't say or think this, but this is my name."

    He stares at it for a moment. Transcendent Comprehension.

    "Paul. It's… Short."

    And away goes the card. "I-. Can I assume that you're willing to discuss our differences like civilised people now?"

    "Yes. I-." Pontico stops and looks at the other Ascendant, getting a series of nods in return. "Yes. I would dearly like to stop the fighting, I-. I much prefer being a healer."

    "Athyns?"

    He nods and motions for Pontico to join him at the main control station.

    "We can make an announcement from here. I'm… Willing to agree a ceasefire without other conditions."

    "Medical care for the wounded? I can't-. We've got to work out what we're going to tell people, but I have absolutely no stomach for more violence after that."

    "Yes."

    I turn away from them to look at Sparta's actual bodyguards. Ah, first, I send my armour and spear back to subspace and cut out the soul-feeding constructs. Then I take out a purple healing ray and hold it out to the slightly groggy Ascendant I hit with the spear-haft.

    "I realise that you will heal perfectly well on your own, but this-" I point it at myself and fire it for a few seconds. "-is a healing ray. It should deal with your headache."

    "I.. thank you."

    She walks over and takes it, then plays it over her right hand for a few seconds before shooting herself in the head.

    "Yes, that's better. What happened to the spear's owner?"

    "Fought to defend the bridge of a cruiser. She died well."

    "She was my sister."

    I nod. "My condolences." Ah. I take the spear back out of subspace and offer it to her. "I left her body outside the bridge, but then I rammed the cruiser into your battleship. It might still be there, but if not I'll help you f-."

    "She might still be there."

    "Well, no, at this point her soul will have passed on to whatever afterlife this world's thaumosphere supports. But her body would be."

    "I-." She looks away, shaking her head, then walks past the control lecterns to look out of the window.

    I suppose that there's no good way to tell someone you killed their sister. 'You started it' doesn't really help.

    The other Ascendants don't exactly look eager to talk to me, and Pontico and Athyns are still trying to get in touch with people. I pick up the remaining Seeds with net constructs and walk over to the recumbent form of Coeus.

    The one with the axe who Athyns attacked steps towards me, weapon in the guard position.

    "What are you doing?"

    "Do you know how they were defeated?"

    "You mean killed."

    "Killed, then. I mean, where are the wounds?"

    He takes a step closer, his helmet folding up so that he can get a better-.

    I frown. "How old are you people?"

    "I am sixteen. Most older Ascendants were-" He glances at Athyns, who appears to be having an impassioned discussion with someone over the internal communication system. "-killed during the wars that ruined our world."



    Children, we're fighting children. Marvellous.

    "But you see what I mean about the lack of wounds?"

    "… yes..?"

    "Are you aware of a weapon that your people possess that could do this?"

    "No. We're usually more-" He hefts his axe. "-direct. Why does it matter? I-. Even if Sparta was lying about our equipment, I'm not ready to agree to waking them up."

    "Because it will be much easier to take down Sparta without killing her if we can remove her power boosters, and make sure that she can't use whatever she used on them on the rest of us."

    He nods. "I want to do that. What she's-. I don’t even know why she's been lying to us. We wouldn't care if she was given the equipment. We're following her lead because she saved us, and because she actually has a plan to save Karrakan. Not because she made better guns and axes."

    "Her concern might be what she had to give away."

    "We don't have anything."

    "An Apokoliptian wouldn't mind trading old equipment for future service. Or Ascendants to destructively study. Are you sure about what happened to all of your elders?"

    I scan the bodies of the gods, and run a purple healing ray over the ones who actually have injuries. Dead flesh shouldn't respond to that, but their flesh does, wounds knitting back together. Because..? They're so magically significant, that..? Don't know, but Oceanus isn't waking up, and the Ascendant won't be happy with me trying to do something with the Seed.

    "Lantern!" I look around at Athyns' shout. "Report from the surface. A boom tube appeared near the Maltusian factory! It's Sparta!"

    "Then that's where we'll be going."
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2021
  21. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  22. Istaran

    Istaran Know what you're doing yet?

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  23. hance1986

    hance1986 A pitiful excuse for a man.

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    take

    take out this quotation mark

    theirs
     
  24. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Remove the " in between 'person' and 'We'

    Hmm, some translation power.

    Kinda like Allspeak from Marvel.

    'and takes'

    Even if it is true.

    You have yourselves.

    Well fuck.
     
  25. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Of course she's going Sun Eater wake up call.
    What are the chances if OL recruiting a Sun Eater?
     
  26. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    Not sure this makes sense as is. The first part says he didn't know and the second part ends in "she told us that". I might be wrong but it seems to be a contradiction. Maybe add "she couldn't" to the end?
     
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  27. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Pretty obvious the payment is supposed to be the maltusian weaponry, no?
     
  28. Bloodalchemy

    Bloodalchemy Versed in the lewd.

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    It's his train of thought. He didnt know the boom tubes could be person size, only ship size. He 'knew' they could only be ship size because Sparta said so. Her name is black because he is realizing not only did she lie, but allowed that lie to get lots of soldiers killed.
     
  29. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    Oh yeah, I get that. It's just that this part isn't quite explicit enough IMO.
     
  30. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    And she's fled. Well, then. At least without her there steam-rolling the other ascendant into subservience, things might be a little easier to sort out peacefully. At worst, there might be a few heads in need of having some sense smacked into them...

    Well, shit. At least they can get some of the Titans up and about... Once they work out how. And assuming the Ascendant are willing to allow it.

    Oh, that's a bit worrying. Oh, not her lying about the Boom Tubes, that's par for the course. I mean that little moment of hopelessness and confusion he's showing.

    Good idea, give him something else to focus on, before he can think too hard about how it looks like everything he knew is a lie.

    So is Pontico. Which is kind of cute.

    Yeah, though the hours can be lousy. I suppose the Titans might be in need of a proper god of Medicine...

    No-one outranks him? Or is it just that he's the first to speak up, so that counts as volunteering. :p

    I love that I can tell exactly which on of them said what just from that little exchange.

    No hard feelings, I hope. I doubt it did that much damage overall. Even with your armour, you're no powerhouse physically.

    Heh, she seems a little surprised at the courtesy. Guess she wasn't expecting that kind of mercy from her foes.

    ...Uh, well... She put up a good fight, but...

    :oops: ...Awkward.

    ..No, I'm pretty sure she was dead when OL left her, sorry. <Checks> Yeah... At least decapitation with a Crumbler gauntlet would be quick.

    Best to leave her be, OL... Or at least nudge another Ascendant to check on her?

    Let's hope his Seed is amongst the ones left behind. Otherwise it could get real awkward.

    Ah, right. Still in the middle of decidedly hostile ground...

    Are you sure of that? What happens to you lot when you die?

    Which makes for another question for Sparta to answer when you catch up with her...

    So technically an adult. And that was awfully convenient, wasn't it?

    Children who are trained and mostly-willing soldiers, yes. I shudder to think how long they've been travelling.

    Well, you'll have to sooner or later. If nothing else, just leaving them laying around like this is unsightly.

    The problem is whether she actually planned to go through with that plan. If she even really had one beyond 'Kill Titans, Acquire Seeds, Something-something, Profit!'

    Not if you'd won. ...Shit. :confused: The Sun-Eaters...

    Or they're not really dead-dead, just mostly-dead. So no going through their pockets for change. And hopefully getting them up and about is as simple as putting the Seeds in close proximity to their owners.

    With all guns blazing, I hope. There's ass to be kicked, and you already have her name.

    So the plan becomes clearer. Whoever gave Sparta the Apokaliptian gear wanted the Sun-Eaters in exchange. Though that raises the question of A: How they knew the Titans were coming here specifically and B: That the Sun-Eaters were here at all. Which suggests they may have had intel acquired from Maltus, either recently or a long time ago... But they couldn't come here themselves... o_O Quite the conundrum.
     
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