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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. crazygrox

    crazygrox Versed in the lewd.

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    I'd been assuming that Overman would eventually go for the coup option and attempt peaceful reform.
    But it'd go the way things usually go when Over/Superman tries to take over the world, and he'd be fought by batman/leatherwing and however many supers the guy can attract.
    So him and his group would probably end up simultaneously fighting both the loyalist New Reichsmen, and uncle Sam's freedom fighters.
     
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  2. ForeverShogo

    ForeverShogo Not too sore, are you?

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    Interesting little update. I suppose I'll pop a few comments.

    Now, Britain could just be doing something different, but the union people that got killed might have just been people who refused to play ball. While they didn't really operate like a normal labor union, the Nazis did actually have a state controlled labor union that was effectively mandatory for all German workers to be a part of.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_Labour_Front

    If you don't want to read too much about it, one of the big things it did was instead of seeking better wages for workers it would pursue "leisure and entertainment". Workers would be given access to libraries, adult education programs, would have concerts organized for them, would get heavily subsidized vacations with special cruise liners built solely to allow them to cheaply visit foreign places. Things of that nature.

    As for the people that think Overman is going to be launching some kind of coup . . . I sincerely doubt it. From what I understand of the character, he just flat out wouldn't want to take that approach precisely because he doesn't like that kind of might makes right thinking. Even if it feels hopeless, he wants to convince people to peacefully reform.

    Of course that's going to be an absolute massive pain in the ass to pull off. I certainly wouldn't expect it to ever happen in this Paul's lifetime. Generations of people have gone from the cradle to the grave under Nazi propaganda. Almost all of them living their entire lives being told that what the Nazis have done is good and great. This has been coupled with the fact that, even if they used Kryptonian tech to cheat their way there, Earth 10 is explicitly described as utopic. Okay, like, obviously you probably won't think it's a utopia if you're one of the groups the Nazis hated . . . But it sounds like if they weren't totally wiped out their numbers were still reduced badly enough that they're just too tiny of a minority to actually be relevant.

    That kind of relentless propaganda? That level of prosperity for the majority? Enjoying utopic living conditions and constantly being reassured that you're in the right? The overwhelming majority would likely wonder why the fuck you'd want anything to change. From what I remember of the brief glimpse of Earth 10 in the comics, even when someone is willing to admit stuff like the exterminations was evil they still insist it was necessary.

    Most people on Earth 10 are just too happy with the way things are. I think this is also part of why Overman doesn't just do a coup. He thinks it's "too late" to fight for those who've already been wiped out.

    Beyond that, it sounds like Japan was still genetically distinct enough to not get fucked as well as shielded by being an island nation. So I guess they probably get to enjoy controlling China without needing to control a population disgustingly larger than their own.
     
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  3. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

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    But then again no one ever accused the Nazi's of being reasonable.

    But the closest I could see them Reasonably doing would be trying to show earth-16 "see look at how much better things are here! to the horror of everyone on earth-16

    on a side note did earth-10 have to deal with a sheeda invasion or the reach?
     
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  4. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    That sounds depressingly plausible.

    Though given the mention of time travel in the previous episode I'm getting the feeling that he may try to stop it from happening in the first place.

    And that whole thing about them thinking that while the extermination were evil but necessary kinda reminds me of Angelika's redemption and realization in the story.

    To those of you who don't remember, when the Crisis of Infinite Pauls happened and they went to the Buffy universe, Angelika was able to find to find her counterpart in that universe and saw that Germany, while not the most powerful country in the world, was still a prosperous country and one people can be proud of, and this brought the realization that Germany didn't need to kill all those people, that what they did wasn't necessary, that they didn't even need to fight the war.

    Though I don't think the rest of her world would have quite a similar realization.

    Yeah, when she met her adoptive aunt and her wife she implied that her country is allied with Japan.
     
  5. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    How genetically distinct are the British from the Norman's?

    A biological weapon that focuses on targeting Han Chinese genes that also gets people from the Indian subcontinent, it's broad enough by default to take out Japan, Korea, Manchuria, Mongolia, Siam (and the rest of South Asia), etc.

    If the target is intended to be the genes common in the Indian subcontinent, then that would take out a similar number of targets while leaving Korea, Japan and North wester China mostly alone. In short either Overman is wrong, or he is repeating lies he was told.

    If the objective was to depopulate Asia with a biological weapon that would target the largest amount of enemies while leaving Nazi allies alone then they would have made a weapon that would target genes from the Indian subcontinent as that takes care off the entire Indian subcontinent, South Asia (Vietnam, Siam, South China, etc) and leaves the core and occupied Japanese territories alone.
     
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  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Angelika hasn't mentioned it.
    I don't intend for the precise limits of Earth 10's biological weapons to be a major focus. If you really can't accept that version, assume that it targets a gene that is common in central Asia but rarer in other places.
     
  7. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    Willkommen to "Freedom" Paul.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2021
  8. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    He was our answer to Clement Atlee.
     
  9. Threadmarks: Past Participant (part 3)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    16th September 2012
    16:01 GMT


    Jade relaxes her grip on her phase knife as she sees me pushing the byht fritters around the frying pan.

    "I'll cancel the alert."

    I smile at her as she sheathes it and actually puts it down rather than keeping it on her.

    "No need."

    She regards me sceptically, but she's smiling faintly as well.

    "Someone broke into our secure accommodation."

    "I'm pretty sure that I have permission to be here."

    She comes closer, leaning into my right side so she can see what I'm doing.

    "We're supposed to get notified anyway. That one's done."

    It… Looks a slightly different shade of orange. Which matches the shades I've seen in local media narrowcasts. I was going to give it a little longer, but I scoop it up, give it a moment for the excess fat to drip off and then move it to the warmed plate sitting on the work surface.

    "I wanted to surprise you. I was going to serve this to you in bed."

    "We're being relocated again. I'm trying to adapt to another new sleep schedule."

    I shrug. "Your squad medic should be able to prescribe something to help with that."

    "I don't-. That-"

    I move my spatula, dividing the fritters between the two plates along with the fried dough discs that remind me of scotch pancakes.

    "-one is done as well. And you know I don't like using that sort of drug."

    She steps away from me, picking up a plate and heading for the window side table. The view of the town outside is… Well, you've seen one majority humanoid mildly post-industrial world then you've seen enough of how they organise themselves to start to get very used to it. The new parts are low density because there's no need for high density living, but there's enough of the old parts left that high towers and mid-height complexes dot the sight lines. I watch the traffic as I walk over to sit down opposite her as she picks up her cutlery.

    "What happened?"

    "We got a couple more Supergirls."

    "Parallel universes?"

    I nod. "One was, the other probably was. Briefly had Truggs in custody… The main.. thing, was that our Kara got exposed to black kryptonite."

    "The one that makes them evil. What did-?" She nods, cutting a slice of fritter but continuing to watch my face. "She hit on you. Of course she hit on you."

    "Demanded that I have sex with her or she'd go on a murder spree, actually. We dealt with it, but it-." Her eyebrows go up slightly. "We dealt with it without sexual relations occurring."

    "I thought so, but I prefer to hear it. How's she coping?"

    "Not… Great. She accepts intellectually that she wasn't responsible for her actions, but she still remembers exactly what it felt like to think like that."

    "Does she still want you?"

    "I think it was more that the evil version wanted to sabotage relationships. Petty evil."

    "So 'yes'."

    "Some women find me attractive. And there aren't that many people on Earth who come from space aged societies, s-."

    "And who aren't related to her?"

    "So-. It probably doesn't help. The…" I shake my head. "The point is, it made me think about-. Well, alright, I was thinking about it anyway, but really brought home..."

    "I miss you."

    "We saw each other last week."

    "I know. And I know the whole… Plan… Knock back the Reach, then get together full time… Was my suggestion. But I-. I've reluctantly reached the conclusion that everyone who j-. Who made jibes about it was right. I miss you being.. around all the time, and a… Couple of dates a week isn't enough. I want us to be together more."

    "Did-" Her eyes move away for an instant before returning to my face. "-something happen to my apartment?"

    "Oh, someone tried to murder either me or Dana Dearden, but the shield absorbed the shot. The place is fine, just…" I shrug again. "Feels empty."

    She cuts off a piece of fruit and fried dough, eyes staring blankly at the plate as she considers what I've said. She doesn't like agreements being changed on her and she doesn't like people pressuring her to agree, but…

    "Are you looking inside me?"

    "No. Turned all the way down."

    "Ok-ay. So… You'd move in here?"

    "I can teleport in a way that no one else can. It's… Easier than building a giant zeta transmitter wherever you're stationed."

    "And I doubt that you could get a building permit."

    "No, that would be easy. Bir Tawil's building codes are extremely relaxed."

    "You're living in the trade post now?"

    "I am until I work out who took a shot at me. And I needed to redecorate it anyway. Your apartment just.. sort of reminds me that you're not in it."

    "I hadn't realised this was such a big deal for you."

    "I was keeping busy enough that I didn't really think about it much. And obviously, when we're actually together, you're there."

    "We don't keep the same hours."

    "My hours are very flexible. And I.. don't need to take part in your duties-."

    "If I need an Orange Lantern then I'll call you in. I'm not that proud."

    "And that's… Something else that came up. I talked to… Batman."

    "Did you ask his permission for me to come-?"

    "No." I shake my head. "No. He said… He said that he doesn't want to be anything other than Batman. Even though he's got other options. And it… I helped you join the Darkstars because it's a good fit for you. Because it's a framework for you to do the things you want. I didn't really think about whether or not this was something it.. was.. good for you to want."

    "That's my decision."

    "Yes." I nod. "But I want to support you. I should have considered it."

    "Don’t worry about that." Her expression softens slightly. "But I wouldn't mind you being around more either."

    I smile.

    "Thank you."
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2022
  10. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    'sorts'

    Hmm, potential mission for these two.

    Well someone tried to kill its occupant.

    Yeah, like Evil Kara said, Jade is still being a weapon for other people.

    Though now she's not being one to a guy that wants to stroke his ego or an insane eco terrorist.

    Cute.
     
  11. Katillno

    Katillno Verified Nobu fan

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    The guy who thinks through a filter of greed has a romantic relationship that nearly anyone would envy
     
  12. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Should that be 'seen'?
     
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  13. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Er... I am pretty sure Dox fits the first...
     
  14. AR760

    AR760 Experienced.

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    Did he forget his whole realization that Jade herself wasn't the woman he thought she was given she was re-enacting the same exact pattern of being a weapon for others? Killing in the name of the cause, but more or less ambivalent regarding the precise nature of the cause so long as she can continue to do so without social penalties? Because that felt like it was perhaps treated with a lighter touch than it was maybe built up to be or should have been

    Also, Paul has made any number of thoughtful sacrifices or taken Jade's feelings into account, yet we haven't to the best of my knowledge seen the reverse. Like he's a highly advanced relationship fulfillment robot designed with only the best partner satisfaction protocols designed by one hell of a Megacorp, bundled with an absence of any personal desires which would conflict with it failing to fulfill it's design purpose or breach their customer satisfaction guarantee.

    I don't know. This whole relationship doesn't really feel like one as a reader. It doesn't ring true as convincing at least to me whenever Jade segments come up, and it honestly feels like a square block is trying to be forced into a round hole narratively speaking for the sake of signaling that the character is in a relationship that is meaningful and true where there is actually a lack of anything genuinely of significance or substance.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2021
  15. Flightless Man

    Flightless Man Versed in the lewd.

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    I love how you handled the meta criticism in this seen. Excellently done and I'm really enjoying how Paul doesn't seem to be a passive observer in his body anymore.
     
  16. gustyeagle

    gustyeagle Know what you're doing yet?

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    Don't you understand that pink text = ture louve.
     
  17. Whenever Possible

    Whenever Possible Versed in the lewd.

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    The only drugs Jade likes to use are knock-out drugs in her lipstick.
     
  18. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    divining -> dividing
     
  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    But it is a highly advanced robot.
    I have less romantic experience than the man who wrote Dragonball.
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2021
  20. AidanMorgan

    AidanMorgan Essentially Overworked

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    Wuv. Twoo Wuv.
     
  21. I_S

    I_S Getting sticky.

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    Huh, if really like to see jades view of her relationship with OL. I wonder if she notices the personality drift over time.

    This scene is the most we've seen paragon emote in almost a year.
     
  22. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Aw, he dropped in unannounced to surprise her, and sets her team on high alert? That is OL all over. Still, good to see she's ready to fight at any time. Bet she has knives handy even when she's having a shower...

    Wow, that goes a long way to see how safe she feels around him...

    Well, if they're still here, they're in big trouble... :p

    Let me guess, she likes her food not nearly as well-cooked as OL does?

    ...And the food is even orange? How... Appropriately on-theme for him. :D

    And reduce her combat effectiveness the wrong way? Being zonked out on sleeping pills is a good way to get ganked if a Beetle attacks...

    ...Instead of casually doing it with his ring. Goes to show how much he wants to spoil her with that hand-made touch.

    Like just about any major city on Earth these days. Wonder if they have the same kind of pollution issues? Smog always puts such a dampener on the mood...

    Though one of them is basically an invalid... But the other one is likely powerful enough for three.

    Yeah, probably a good idea to lead with that...

    Yes, best to be very clear about that, OL. I'm sure Jade isn't the jealous type, but even she might get a little upset if it sounds like you.. ploughed some virgin fields...

    Because perfect Kryptonian memory. Great for remembering what name to call someone during a superhero thing... Not so good for dealing with PTSD and the like.

    A very teenage kind of evil. The real mean ones are the girls who don't grow out of that kind of mindset...

    Not many on par with Kryptonians, certainly. I wonder how she's get on with Koriand'r. I honestly can't remember if they'd met or not. Imagine if Kori introduced Kara to her little brother...

    Yes, quite a few things brought to the fore by the whole affair...

    Wonder if her squadmates rib her about keeping them up at nights when her boyfriend visits?

    ...Oh, nothing major. Nothing permanent, certainly...

    Heh, he knows her so well, he doesn't even need empathic vision to see that.

    It's like a telepath being near someone thinking loudly - you can't help but pick up on things...

    Admittedly, it's harder to bring people with you safely. I take it there have been no long-term negative effects on the fleet that got the Orange Express?

    Heh. Helps that you can basically write the statutes in your little embassy anyway...

    When a house isn't a home...

    Heh, he's getting a bit of a jade-shaped hole in his emotional makeup, that feels off when she's not around?

    Hardly need the big orange sledgehammer to cut out a few cancerous cells...

    Bet her team is real happy she's got the Illustres of the Corps on such a short leash.

    Well, it's a bit late to go back and change it, OL. Wouldn't fix things anyway, and you know that.

    Eh, not like they can't swing her getting a different posting or something. Maybe Dox can put her in charge of minding OL so he doesn't blunder into too much trouble again...

    Missing the hours of head-melting sex? :p But seriously, it is good to see her returning his feelings like that.

    Well, that went well. I'm sure something will happen to change that. :p Can't have a happy relationship in a comic-book universe, after all! But really, I bet many women in Jade's position might feel a little suspicious of a guy this dedicated to her. It's human nature to doubt yourself and others in a partnership like this. Jade, at least, is well aware that OL is a little different, and probably rolls with his odder moments...
     
  23. Someguy Somewhere

    Someguy Somewhere The Critical Fumbler

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    Now thats just not fair, it's almost like they read his books or something.
     
  24. Assblaster5000

    Assblaster5000 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Is that meant to be 'sight lines' or 'sky lines'?
     
  25. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Hey, it makes more sense than Frank Reynolds' blue food.

    Though it doesn't have enough anti-oxygens.

    Psychologically, but physically she's still a powerhouse.

    Though her powers are being suppressed for both her good and the good of those around her.

    They haven't met.

    That better come with a massive pay increase and vacation time.
     
  26. Kalem_Lee

    Kalem_Lee Well worn.

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    Is this Paul's version of going baby crazy?

    This must be the work of Constantine!
     
  27. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Ot course, it makes perfect sense!

    After Paul told Ambrose that he'll try and find Constantine, Constantine's spell must have affected him and now he's here talking to Jade instead of looking for him.
     
  28. AmericanNumbers

    AmericanNumbers Not too sore, are you?

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    This felt like a proper relationship convo. And this does feel like a solid step. I'm still not convinced Jade's what he needs as opposed to what he wants but at least Paul's not putting a pause on it anymore.
     
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  29. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Now what is this unholy abomination? Two people in fiction talking rationally about their relationship???

    Heresy! Kill it with fire, I say!
     
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  30. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    They can go after that sneaky Reach guy who planned the qwa-matter bomb. Seems like someone both their skillsets would come in handy for.
     
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