1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. The testbed for the QQ XF2 transition is now publicly available. Please see more information here.
    Dismiss Notice

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

Loading...
  1. The Froggy Ninja

    The Froggy Ninja The Blade Will Never Die

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2016
    Messages:
    7,703
    Likes Received:
    30,942
    Technically, that would actually mean the fig was unripe, rather than any choices with the preparation. Figs produce digestive enzymes that break down the pollinating wasp for protein to help feed the tree and the ripening process.
     
    ChestBurster, m_d, kerleth and 4 others like this.
  2. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,135
    Likes Received:
    320,300
    In this case I think those tears will belong to Demon Constantine.
     
  3. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2016
    Messages:
    2,842
    Likes Received:
    15,034
    That is fucking hilarious.
     
  4. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,135
    Likes Received:
    320,300
    Not unless it's like Gandalf and he can come back stronger.

    He's accepted that.

    Then you'll love it.

    And I'm kinda reminded of the Supernatural episode where Sam, Dean and Castiel were trapped in an episode of Scooby Doo and am kinda hoping the same happens to these guys.
     
  5. Citizen

    Citizen Well worn.

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2016
    Messages:
    6,495
    Likes Received:
    14,334
    "He wasn't there in any special way" seems like OL is speaking of himself in the third person. Is that intentional?
     
    ChestBurster and Cuchulin like this.
  6. DrThoth

    DrThoth I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2016
    Messages:
    697
    Likes Received:
    2,976
    The kind of line that can only make sense in a Dream context.
     
    ChestBurster and w34v3r like this.
  7. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2014
    Messages:
    9,741
    Likes Received:
    38,259
    I'm fond of this. It says a lot that a comic-book Earth is so crazy that someone of Dr. Mist's experience can find so many new things by joining a major superteam.
     
  8. Old Knife

    Old Knife Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2016
    Messages:
    430
    Likes Received:
    1,694
    Damn it John. This would have been the perfect time to betray them. You're getting rusty.
     
  9. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,698
    Likes Received:
    729,183
    I think that's okay.
    Well...
    Thank you, corrected.
    Thank you, corrected.
    Ah. That was an edit thing. It was originally 'City of Allah', then I changed it and didn't change the following line.
     
  10. Duke Long

    Duke Long Glomerulus

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2022
    Messages:
    562
    Likes Received:
    1,991
    Is he pronouncing ‘am’ as ‘em’? I don’t remember seeing this before.
    ’em’
    ‘thet’
    ‘thet
    ‘thet’
    ‘thet’
    ‘thet’
    ’hev’
     
  11. w34v3r

    w34v3r Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1,617
    Likes Received:
    3,948
    I think Dr. Mist has been exposed to too much Paul.
     
  12. The Chosen One

    The Chosen One Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2015
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    207
    That's...all of what is happening, every single chapter of this self-insert fanfiction.
     
    ChestBurster, mastermenthe and Bud-E like this.
  13. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,698
    Likes Received:
    729,183
    [​IMG]

    I'm going to be putting the Doctor on a bus. It's the only way.

    Deep breath.
    Nonono I'm changing it! Forget ah to eh consistency if it means that I don't have to constantly correct another word!
    Thank you, corrected.
     
  14. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,135
    Likes Received:
    320,300
    But he's not in a Scooby Doo universe, so it's not happening.

    Granted, he is in a universe that belongs to a continuitythat saw DC and Scooby Doo interact.
    Just stop doing it and write the sentences in a normal way.

    There's nothing stopping the guy from getting better at English.
     
  15. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2020
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    1,504
    Debating theology with a dream might not technically be work, but I very much doubt it is something Jade would enjoy.

    Also isn’t organising mass social change what got your last ‘date’ declared work in the first place?
     
    Vorian likes this.
  16. Duke Long

    Duke Long Glomerulus

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2022
    Messages:
    562
    Likes Received:
    1,991
    I think the idea is that they’d talk about theology and also just lark about the city. Jade might not like the theology, but I imagine she’d enjoy the larking.
    ‘supposed’
    I found this in the story-only thread. It’s from when the world gets split, and Paragon and Cornwall Boy are talking about Praexis demons. Don’t know if the error is just in story-only or in both versions.

    Also, can anyone point me to Doctor Mist’s first appearance in the story? I want to trawl through his appearances. I might have to start using dark mode, though.
     
  17. Windona

    Windona Beetle Queen of Crackshipping

    Joined:
    May 9, 2022
    Messages:
    330
    Likes Received:
    1,103
    Wasn't it around the time Paul was looking for a new sorcerer for the League? Sorry it's not an exact chapter, but it should help in the index. That would be around September 2011.

    Agreed, I love Dr. Mist. It's great he experiences new things with the League and new magic with Paul. Honestly it might be part of why he's fine with going along with Paul's crazy schemes.

    I do wonder how Paul would get him and Jade into the city given what it took to get there the first time. Still, it's fun that he's always looking for date ideas.
     
  18. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,698
    Likes Received:
    729,183
    Thank you, corrected.
    Here.

    You will note that I didn't originally write his accent. Or perhaps he wasn't speaking English.
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,135
    Likes Received:
    320,300
    He actually was.

     
  20. Duke Long

    Duke Long Glomerulus

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2022
    Messages:
    562
    Likes Received:
    1,991
    Thanks. Did he put less effort into his English as he got more accustomed to his new colleagues, or something?
    Edit: I just realised that he actually does have an accent in that chapter, but only when talking about how much he hates Constantine. Hahaha. Also, his accent is on ‘wherever’ and ‘stand’, which I don’t remember seeing mispronounced more recently, so I guess he hates Constantine so much that it really affected his speech that much.
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2022
    ChestBurster and Xmaster3000 like this.
  21. Khornelius

    Khornelius Overlord of the Underworld

    Joined:
    May 28, 2020
    Messages:
    83
    Likes Received:
    365
    Oh lord, imagine being told you have drive a runaway plane while blind, death and high as a kite.
    I feel just a little, itty bitty bit, bad for demon Constantine.
     
  22. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    4,181
    Where did I claim otherwise? I'm WELL aware of that. But the Seal of Solomon is a signet ring in the mysticism from our world. In Hellblazer, it's a magical diagram. With This Ring uses the Hellblazer version.
     
    ChestBurster, Wetbananas and Vorian like this.
  23. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    4,181
    You gave yourself an out a long time ago -- originally you had said that his accent slips when he's not focusing. So all you have to say is that he's found a reason to put some thought into his diction.
     
  24. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,522
    Likes Received:
    20,854
    Add another one to the pile of LePaul made up storied about the Silver City!
     
  25. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    1,714
    Likes Received:
    9,868
    You are proving otherwise right here. In real world mysticism the Seal of Solomon has been a reference to the symbol on the ring, a tradition that goes back over 500 years. As I specifically pointed out in the part of my message you didn't quote.

    Kind of the entire point of everything I typed in that message.

    Hellblazer rules in this matter= Centuries of real world occult lore.

    By typing

    You implied that the Hellblazer canon and real world mysticism disagreed on this point.

    They do not.

    Which is why I typed a message pointing out that they do not.

    Which your response shows you did not know this, even after reading my message that points this out.
     
  26. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    4,181
    Take it in context of the message I was responding to. Vaermina was criticizing Zoat for calling the symbol the "Seal of Solomon" when the Seal was a signet ring, claiming that Zoat had not done his research. My response is that Hellblazer made it clear that the Seal of Solomon was a magical sealing diagram, and therefore Zoat's research was in fact appropriate for the setting -- the criticism was unfounded.

    That said, I will concede that my second post unintentionally presented the contrast as a false dilemma through my phrasing. I could have been clearer.
     
  27. BartlettMagic

    BartlettMagic peekaboo, you fucks you!

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    134
    Likes Received:
    379
    I very much enjoyed reading this line. Zoat, is Balewa excited, apprehensive, laconic...? i would hope for "optimistic/child-like joy" but i don't know the character outside of this story.
     
    Windona likes this.
  28. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,522
    Likes Received:
    20,854
    Actually in DC comics it was also a Ring.

    https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Ring_of_Solomon

    You might be thinking of the Circle of Solomon? Which was in Hellblazer as a blink and you'll miss it sort of thing.
     
    Otto von Saurion likes this.
  29. Threadmarks: Tower Offence (part 1)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,698
    Likes Received:
    729,183
    Tower Offence

    8th November 2012
    19:03 GMT +3


    That's a… That's a big ole storm.

    It's a lot more intimidating from this side.

    "Doctor Mist. Before we, um. Jump. I've got a couple of clones of myself in storage in Bir Tawil."

    He glances at me. "Should I inform the authorities?"

    "Last time I died, I was able to transfer myself into a clone. I don't think I lost more than a few seconds of memory."

    "You were in space?" I nod. "Yes, I see. Interesting. But thet will not work here, even if the Ophidian is feeling generous."

    "Ah. Well. Worth asking."

    "No, it wasn't."

    "I just like to plan-."

    He hands me a length of rope, which I wrap around my left forearm with a sigh. Then he hands another part of the rope to Sanderson.

    "Sandman, are you prepared?"

    Sanderson shimmers again, staring at the picture I provided of the Tower of Fate. I hadn't really thought about it, but the angle of some of the 'external' windows meant that I did actually see some parts of the exterior. So he's got that, the probable view when looking in from outside, and all of my best wishes.

    "I… I think so. I think I can-. See where I'm going to be. But I-. I can't see us there."

    "Thet is because we are not yet there. Rope."

    "Ah-? Oh." He ties it around his right arm. "I guess I have to go right after Mister Constantine?"

    "Yes, and drive him on. We are depending on you."

    Dr. Balewa pats him on the right shoulder.

    Sanderson gulps. "I sort of wanted to ease myself back into being a super hero."

    "Life is what happens when you are making other plans. Constantine."

    "I'm surrounded by dreams and one of them's me."

    I take a very deep breath-.

    "Hey." Alan puts his left hand on my right shoulder. "You okay?"

    "I don't like losing control like this." I shake my head. "Okay enough. Let's go."

    "Remember: let your bodies and minds flow with events. Go."

    Constantine jump-lunges into the swirling pink mists, Sanderson a heartbeat behind him. Alan goes next, and I'm next go go go!

    There are mists, and I'm standing on a tiny platform on the edge of a canyon, barely big enough for my feet. On a platform in front of me way too far away I can see The Demon and Sanderson and this is a bad time for my vertigo to come back but Dr. Balewa said keep moving! They leap, and, ah, ah, there's a route and a path and we've all eaten figs so leap!

    Mist swirls and I'm running along the dividing barrier between two lanes of roaring traffic either of which could obliterate me! Don't think about your footing don't think about your footing run run run!

    "Hey!"

    I glance up and see Alan running along a motorway gantry sign.

    "Okay so f-."

    He leaps and vanishes.

    Ah.

    Keep going keep go-.

    "Jump!"

    Jump! Where t-?

    Manhole!

    Fuckfalling!

    The road and the cars are gone, replaced with.. land far below, wispy clouds and my falling colleagues and I think I'm falling behind a little?

    I aim myself downwards and fuck that was a flying platform. That was a platform, was I supposed to get onto-?

    That was another one, but I'm still moving and they're moving ahead of me so I assume that I'm going in the right direction? But the aim is movement, the idea of movement, catching the dream-wisps of movement that still exist in the storm and in The Demon's mania. Falling and distance travelled don’t matter, this issue is that I'm-.

    I'm seeing purple clouds intrude in the corners of my vision fuck where's the platform they're coming up too fast there leanleanlean!

    Oof! Roll back on my feet platform falling to absorb impact run run leap!

    Next platform there and I'm too far to the right ring?

    Shit.

    Ah… Angle body, air resistance. Helping but not enough. What are the others-? No time. It's a dream, try running on air. Like Wily Coyote. And it's working nearly well enough but I'm not quite I'm going to miss-.

    Run along the rim, the edge, the side and the world shifts around me and down is sideways, the left side of my vision entirely enveloped by pink clouds. Am I getting further away, or is The Demon losing his grip?

    Leap.

    I grab a floating umbrella handle and then pull and release, flying through the air to grab onto the next one. In the corner of my eye I see the pink mist start eating the upper panels and pull and release!

    I'm zooming down the side of a snow-covered mountain trail in a bath tub. Dr. Balewa's skiing on a dog a little way in front of me.

    Ah, I think I-. I think I get it.

    I shuffle to the back of the tub, seeing the pink mist just behind me, then dash forwards and leap, landing on the dog's tail.

    "Going well so far?"

    "Compared to what?"

    We both crouch and then lunge, landing on a giant branch above a giant forest.

    "Getting annihilated?"

    "Yes, but we hev fallen behind Sandman and Constantine."

    "Then we need to-" I jump grab a giant leaf and pull down to accelerate. "-go faster."

    "It is not-" He copies my example. "-so simple, but I suppose thet it is a-"

    Pink mist roils in from all direction, disintegrating the forest around us!

    "-start."
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2022
  30. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,289
    Likes Received:
    12,979
    Wow. It's been a long time that Paul seemed genuinely challenged by his surroundings and actually a little scared.

    Also, this dream sounds like the worst kind of stress-dream, the ones were you never quite manage to be fast enough.
     
Loading...