Bully Quest [Worm]

So this quest's followers on SB are being smegheads? Good to know.

 

They are literally voting for Aizen to break out of the locker and pull the whole 'lolKyoka Suigetsu' thing he always.

Yes. Seriously. That's the winning vote right now.

 

This man says it best. And for those thinking that it's nonsensical, this reply shows why that is false as well. ^_^

 

So what's the explanation for the crossover out of nowhere?

 

[X] Unlock the locker door and let her out... you knew the combo to it, after all.
- [X] Madison will run interference and make sure no one who shouldn't know comes to see.
- - [X] Now that she's nice and softened up, take her out, clean her up, brush her hair and give her something sweet to eat. "Now Taylor. You remember your promise right? If you don't then I'm afraid you'll end up... somewhere unpleasant again... nod if you understand sweetie... don't forget, I control everything you do. From now on if you even want to go to the bathroom you ask my permission first. Trying to tell is useless, just listen and obey... your life will be better for it." Emma coos. Being on top is a heady feeling. "Of course first you need to prove that you are worth me wasting time on... you should kiss my feet... and Sophia's feet... and Madison's. And make sure to thank us properly for letting you out... I want to hear you say it like you mean it."

Since it's not in a competition for votes with SB...

[X] Emma bites her lip lightly... it isn't that she didn't want to go though with it... she did... she definitely did... or at least she thought she did... but for some reason the thought of the girl who she'd shared so much with trapped inside that dark space brought a twinge... of guilt?

It wasn't as if leaving her in there would cause her weak former friend to die... would it?

Again conscience bit at her heart... conscience she shouldn't feel right? She was the predator... no the prey... not weak like Taylor... stuffed into the hot stink of the locker... She didn't want to think about it... but the more she tried the more she did... until... she couldn't stand it any longer.

She felt... sorrow... or at least she thought it was sorrow. Her every horrible thought and act rushing back to her as she hurried back to the fetid locker.

The girl who spilled out... she hardly anything of her strong confident friend that Emma could recognize... and yet... and yet... it was all Emma could do to continue to hold it in.

To continue to pretend to be strong...

Thus from her lips spilled the words even as Emma looked down upon her filth covered tormentee, tears leaking from her own eyes. "Why? Why are you so weak... Why won't you JUST FIGHT BACK?"

 

Oh, good; that makes things better: let SB be the fuckstupid crack version and this one be the actual serious one with character development and plot and shit.

 

[X] Emma bites her lip lightly... it isn't that she didn't want to go though with it... she did... she definitely did... or at least she thought she did... but for some reason the thought of the girl who she'd shared so much with trapped inside that dark space brought a twinge... of guilt?

It wasn't as if leaving her in there would cause her weak former friend to die... would it?

Again conscience bit at her heart... conscience she shouldn't feel right? She was the predator... no the prey... not weak like Taylor... stuffed into the hot stink of the locker... She didn't want to think about it... but the more she tried the more she did... until... she couldn't stand it any longer.

She felt... sorrow... or at least she thought it was sorrow. Her every horrible thought and act rushing back to her as she hurried back to the fetid locker.

The girl who spilled out... she hardly anything of her strong confident friend that Emma could recognize... and yet... and yet... it was all Emma could do to continue to hold it in.

To continue to pretend to be strong...

Thus from her lips spilled the words even as Emma looked down upon her filth covered tormentee, tears leaking from her own eyes. "Why? Why are you so weak... Why won't you JUST FIGHT BACK? "

 

[X] Open the locker, and your world shatters away. You blink with bleary eyes, looking up at a man with brown hair whose eyes glint with some mysterious emotion you can't describe. He walks past you, and whispers a sentence that chills your bones. "Since when," he hisses like a snake before it strikes, "Were you under the impression I wasn't already using my Zanpakuto?"

 

[X] Open the locker, and your world shatters away. You blink with bleary eyes, looking up at a man with brown hair whose eyes glint with some mysterious emotion you can't describe. He walks past you, and whispers a sentence that chills your bones. "Since when," he hisses like a snake before it strikes, "Were you under the impression I wasn't already using my Zanpakuto?"

This sounds waaaay better. Aizen is the best bully.

 

Character growth? Oh, that's fucking hilarious. Let me repost some of the comments already made regarding that little claim.

As foamy said, given your reactions and comments, it's almost as if you don't like being, shall we say, bullied.

 

Is… this the rumored trigger event I've heard of?!

 

No, this isn't Worm. This is a very shitty AU with bad characterization and poor writing. The least you can do is be consistant and honest about that fact.

 

calm down and either leaver or
Take votes that will get emma killed
Be the voice of reason.

 

It's interesting how people are so vehemently against bullying that they will troll the shit out of a quest that involves it, thus causing themselves to behave as unrepentant bullies and they will even admit their behavior qualifies as such. Yet somehow they seem to fail to note the hypocrisy.

Also fun is all the cries of "this is not safe, sane, or consensual!" Well, actually, it's perfectly safe (because it's a work of fiction), completely sane (so long as you recall that it's fictional; otherwise, you are rather crazy!) and unquestionably consensual (since no one is forcing biigoh to write anything).

 

Heh, I have to give constructive criticism when and where I can. I'm halfway tempted to give indepth Constructive Criticism of "Madison Quest". Not for the content, but just for the sheer bad writing. I mean, for fucks sake I read Agony In Pink (and dear god was the writing in that dry, with the torture scenes reading like Ikea Instruction Manuals) and Cupcakes (too damn overthetop to find it anything but amusing) just to see what the fuss was about, so when I point out issues it's more about the writing itself than anything else most of the time.

This "story"? The characterization is pathetic and 2-dimensional, the writing-subpar, and the content mediocre and shallow beyond belief. As a writer and reader, that sort of stuff is what matters most.The QQ posters throwing fits because they didn't get their way? That's just amusing.

 

I would actually be really interested in that. I might find it insulting, and it could take me down, but my level of serious investment in Madison Quest is much more "wait, I can do anything I want" than "I will make this good."

 

I'm disappointed. That clusterfuck over on SB and we only got three new members signing up? I expected more.

 

Alright. The first issue that permiates everything in it is lack of setup. Even going straight into bizarro-world, you need to build up to things to take it there. Both in order to lay out the setup for the events that take place plot and character-wise, and to give the readers a chance to see how and why things have developed as they did. It helps also to give the readers a chance to actually give a damn about the characters as well, even if they end up becoming straight up monsters, as the readers can see the character slide into that. You decided to skip that though and start out "Knee-deep" in a story setting which neither looks nor feels like Worm, and it hurt that aspect of the work entirely. As such, nearly every character could easily be said to be "In Name Only" here, and it makes it very hard to actually give a damn about any of the characters, making things "Boring" and "Pretentious". :shrugs:

The second issue is you tend to rush things, to get straight to the "End scenes", which not only makes much of it look hollow and pretentious, but also destroys plot potential and the setup needed to make the story look and feel realistic, give you a chance to flesh things out, or allow you to make things interesting based on the previous setups.

The third issue is you go for cheap thrills at the expense of interesting plot or characters, and the rushing and lack of buildup doesn't help matters. It's very lazy writing, and as a writer you always want to watch out for that sort of stuff.

The fourth issue if you treat your quests as "Writing exercises" rather than "Games", hence the end result of "Railroading". You would likely be better off just writing it straight out as a story thread and asking for reader feedback or ideas when you're unsure of something or want to compare your ideas to theirs, rather than playing it as a game, as you have a very bad habit of forgetting the "Game" aspect and just doing what you want anyways. :shrugs:

 

[X] Emma bites her lip lightly... it isn't that she didn't want to go though with it... she did... she definitely did... or at least she thought she did... but for some reason the thought of the girl who she'd shared so much with trapped inside that dark space brought a twinge... of guilt?

It wasn't as if leaving her in there would cause her weak former friend to die... would it?

Again conscience bit at her heart... conscience she shouldn't feel right? She was the predator... no the prey... not weak like Taylor... stuffed into the hot stink of the locker... She didn't want to think about it... but the more she tried the more she did... until... she couldn't stand it any longer.

She felt... sorrow... or at least she thought it was sorrow. Her every horrible thought and act rushing back to her as she hurried back to the fetid locker.

The girl who spilled out... she hardly anything of her strong confident friend that Emma could recognize... and yet... and yet... it was all Emma could do to continue to hold it in.

To continue to pretend to be strong...

Thus from her lips spilled the words even as Emma looked down upon her filth covered tormentee, tears leaking from her own eyes. "Why? Why are you so weak... Why won't you JUST FIGHT BACK? "

 

Yes, character growth; either by an eventual turn of guilt or by having to actually deal with the fallout of being a complete and total bitch, the development is there and has potential. The Joker's a psychopath who's appalling on a base level due to his personality and actions, yet he's an interesting read because of said actions and how he goes about making them work while fending off Batsy.

The leap from bullying to oppressive servitude isn't a big one for Emma to take; she began her crusade on Taylor because by pushing her down she validated her own personal strength, setting herself as the predator and Taylor as the prey. This is simply an extension of that, made by the very troubled and fucked up mentality that Emma's been running on ever since the ABB fiasco.

As for how it's an actual plot; great we have Taylor as a servant of sorts, now we have to watch out for Trigger events and any other reactions to the decision. How to keep the 'good girl' facade while having a toady that we very clearly IC oppress, and in such an overt manner that the teachers probably won't be able to keep their passive stance forever. What to do now that the 'primary target' has been defeated in every way that matters; how does Emma move on now that she can't use Taylor as her measuring stick/feel good button. Does she start growing back an actual heart and conscious? Does she just go deeper down the rabbit hole, escalating her sociopathy until she finally does something she can't cover up? Or does something else happen that causes another massive shift in worldview?

The main reason I derided the Aizen thing in SB is that it's so cheap and is an obvious 'Lol at the Creeper GM as his game goes to shit' rather than an actual drive for the quest itself. If you wanna stick it to the GM that's perfectly ok, but at least try and put some effort into it; subtle jabs rather than actually mooning him in the face.

 

EDIT: Double post. Deleted.

 

I largely disagree with this last point.

My counterargument is right here:

That's right: Stupid, character-derailing, story-ruining BS votes.


I don't think that Creative Writing on SB generally gets enough creative feedback to compose an interesting story out of:

Sadly, the responses consists far too often of just heaps of fan-wank, remarking how cool or big the "butterflies" are and how much they want to see character X's and Y's reaction to this minor alteration of evens compared to canon that has just happened in-story and how exactly this will affect that one canonical even 50 chapters later itself happened just due to ridiculously contrived circumstances and so on.
...and of course hyping and discussing all about power levels. Can't forget the fricking power levels.

And even if posts are constructive, they are rarely creative. They point out gross inconsistencies or orthographic and syntactic errors. They are mostly "DON'T!"s, not "DO!"s.

Most of the engagingly original fanfiction I have read happens to be quests.
Despite some of the unfortunate attractors that govern BROB (like OOC white-knighting, risk-aversion, herd mentality and overt focus on canon characters, events and settings) it still manages to produce stories that outshine anything that isn't written by EarthScorpion, Zalgo Jenkins or Rathanel.

I guess Scion war right: Conflict really does help.



[X] Unlock the locker door and let her out... you knew the combo to it, after all.
- [X] Madison will run interference and make sure no one who shouldn't know comes to see.
- - [X] Now that she's nice and softened up, take her out, clean her up, brush her hair and give her something sweet to eat. "Now Taylor. You remember your promise right? If you don't then I'm afraid you'll end up... somewhere unpleasant again... nod if you understand sweetie... don't forget, I control everything you do. From now on if you even want to go to the bathroom you ask my permission first. Trying to tell is useless, just listen and obey... your life will be better for it." Emma coos. Being on top is a heady feeling. "Of course first you need to prove that you are worth me wasting time on... you should kiss my feet... and Sophia's feet... and Madison's. And make sure to thank us properly for letting you out... I want to hear you say it like you mean it."

 

Ok fucklings, listen up! Biigoh tends to put skeevy shit into his works, and let's cut through the bullshit, we all know it. The whole "Make Taylor into a pet" vote? Yeah, Biigoh is already on thin ice with the staff at SB, and that would have resulted in him, along with the other twits who voted for it over at SB, in being banned and infracted. Videocat and I were the ones who set up that vote to pull Bii's, along with your ungrateful asses, out of the fire since you fuckwits seem too dense to know when you're wandering into the minefield of "Shit that will get me banned". So cut the attitude you twits, we took the advice of "If you don't like it vote for something else" to heart, and more importantly we did it to save your worthless hides, not that you fuckwits could tell with how busy you are being hypocritical asses about it.

Oh, and Biigoh?
Hollewanderer: Well, ultimately if not for this (the IRC paradrop votes), there'd be infractions and quite possibly bans
Hollewanderer: But the staff is not without sense of humour so let's just go with this instead.

 

So, just a question here, but does SB have a serial killer quest or not?

I've heard about it, but never seen- And it seems a bit odd to say 'Being a bully is badwrong, but being a serial killer is totally fine'. Is there something I'm missing about the forum rules that makes stalking and killing people less morally wrong then some emotional trauma inexpertly applied?

 

Shibosho's 'Killer for Hire' comes to mind, even has a kill counter.

 

Techinically Noburo can be called a mass murderer.