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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Senevri

    Senevri Not too sore, are you?

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    Hm.
    Sunset isn't a pony. She's an ass.
     
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  2. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

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    actually they are just special cards. they are not canon to the story of mtg.
     
  3. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    [​IMG]
     
  4. transhumansage

    transhumansage Versed in the lewd.

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    damn! how do you find these pictures? have you been reading marvel comics since peter fist wore the black suit? if so why cant you write a fic like with this ring but for marvel where you include obscure characters and stories like in this fic.
     
  5. PDV

    PDV Revelation That Uncertainty Is Itself An Answer

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    Perhaps. But WotC (or perhaps I should say 'Hasbro' given the profit projection motive) has clearly taken leave of their senses these last couple years, so that isn't much reassurance.
     
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  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, I know about that because the Eastbourne library had collections of some old Transformers comics and I read it. I think it was old enough to include the characters they're not allowed to print stories about any more.
     
  7. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Wasn't happy with how the confrontation with Zeus panned out, so I've rewritten parts of it. The original version is in spoilers at the top.
     
  8. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Well to be fair, a pagan god helping you would be in the interest of that god, but it could also make the Angels attack that deity and their pantheon.

    The Silver City is very, very powerful.

    Could be like the same reason he only struck renegade once.

    If the first strike didn't do much then the second one not working could be seen like him fruitleslly beating his hands against a stronger opponent.

    One strike that didn't work can be seen as a warning, even if it didn't do anything, but two...

    Don't know if he's joking or if he legitimately used those as method to probably trap people he does want to leave.

    Ha!

    Was honestly expecting to see a link to the Big Mouth song about Florida.

    "wants"

    "should've"

    Though some may have natural advantages or powerful bloodlines and unique magical skills.

    He may, since he's made suck a ruckus.
     
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  9. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    So... Now Zeus is pretty much completely reasonable and LePaul is a complete asshat?

    That's... Certainly a change...
     
  10. w34v3r

    w34v3r Versed in the lewd.

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    Anyone remember which chapter this was?
     
  11. Senevri

    Senevri Not too sore, are you?

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    Remember that time when the GI Joe crew blew up Bumblebee?
    Or the time Optimus Prime died because he lost a video game?

    Woops. Got me reminiscing.
     
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  12. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    No.
    Yes.
     
  13. Threadmarks: Counterpunched (Renegade Option)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    13th January 2013
    17:37 GMT -1


    "…grateful to you for showing me your family's records." I bow to Aelia's parents, and get an acknowledging nod back. I know that bows aren't really an Atlantean thing, but I also know that they've been part of the diplomatic party speaking to the American government. They'll recognise the gesture. "I appreciate the trust you've shown in me."

    "Oh, nonsense." Aelia's father Daelus shakes his head. "This isn't the Second Era. We're perfectly aware that to a thaumaturgist like yourself almost everything in there is either so dated as to be worthless or so specific as to be irrelevant. We're been thinking of inviting historians to go through the place to see if it sheds any light on Atlantean history."

    "Now that Venturia's on better terms with the rest of Atlantis, I imagine that there's been a surge of interest in your people's culture in the rest of the country."

    "I'm not sure what a dozen outdated scrying spells would do for interstate relations, but I suppose it can't hurt to write to a few noteworthy historians. Do you need any help getting home?"

    "No, I'll just call Jean to open a boom-." No, sound travels further under water. "A hush tube."

    "My ears thank you."

    I take out my focus crystal and reach out through Earth's thaumosphere towards the crystal with the exact same magic attached to it. Yes, I could.. probably use that as a teleport anchor, but Venturia has a lot more magic research going on in it than Canterlot did, and a lot more delicate equipment. I don't want to damage anything by performing magic-intense spells outside of a shielded environment when I don’t have to, and making the thaumosphere my plaything would count. Instead, I wiggle the crystal and use a simple piece of sympathetic magic to make the one at the other end wiggle as well.

    The hush tube opens soundlessly a moment later, and I step through into.. my laboratory.

    Haaaaa. I can feel Celestia's magic even from here. A slow-burning fire… Contained. Trapped. I wasn't an alicorn when I came to Earth-. Celestia doesn't know how to use magic as a human. As far as I know, her special talent isn't magic, but… That's a lot of magic not going anywhere.

    "Jean, can you boom tube me to wherever Celestia is?"

    "Certainly, Sunset. Celestia is currently watching Grayven and the children play with their sledges. Boom tube opening n-"

    BOOM!

    "-ow."

    "Thank you."

    Don't think about it, just go.

    I step through the portal and I'm outside in winter in Denver. I'm binding the concept of unnatural heat and the closed circuit to myself before I even see… Celestia, wearing.. some sort of less evil-looking version of Grayven's armour. Her hair's the colour of her mane, and her armour's the colour of her pelt. I'd-.

    There actually are things I'd like to ask her about how she finds it, turning from a pony into a human. Things I'd find weird asking Luna about. But that can wait.

    Grayven nods to me, pats Celestia on the shoulder -and whaw is the size difference more obvious when everyone's on their hind legs- and then walks off to give us space.

    Okay.

    "Hey, Celestia." I start marching in her direction. "You look human."

    She does… A human version of that nervous smile she does when she doesn't want to set me off but knows full well that she's going to anyway.

    "Hello, Sunset. You do as well." She looks me over. "Grayven asked that we avoid melting the snow."

    "It's not that hard to make a spell that keeps you warm without warming up anything else. But that's not why I'm here."

    "What did you want to talk about?"

    "Why a history book?"

    "Why a history..?"

    Huh. Surprised that was the first thing I came up with. … Go with it.

    "Why was that what got me kicked out. I get it, you had this whole thing planned for me to maybe become an alicorn if that's how things shook out with Luna, but I'd been ignoring your whole plan for months at that point. I clearly wasn't going along with it. But it was a history book. I kinda assumed that you thought I read one of the other books, but when Grayven asked you about it you didn't even bring that up."

    She looks away for a moment.

    "Did Twilight tell you about Predictions and Prophecies?"

    "No? What's that?"

    "A book that was part of my plan for freeing Luna. I ensured that a copy was placed in the bookcase in her room in the observatory, and another in the Ponyville library, to ensure that she could discover the information that I needed her to know."

    "I.. think you know that I agree with Grayven about that whole thing, but what's that got to.. do…"

    Luna wasn't mentioned in a single book I read in Canterlot. Nightmare Moon was a silly story no one really believed.

    "It had history in it that you didn't fabricate. It talks about what really happened a thousand years a-."

    "No. It just had a different fabrication. Something that would help my little ponies fight Nightmare Moon if my preferred plan came to nothing and I was banished from the world."



    "Do you ever consider just not lying? How did you even..? Get every single historical record!"

    "Slowly. I made sure that the Royal Archive bought diaries when they came onto the market, and made sure that I omitted certain information when ponies interviewed me to ask what I remembered. I also had control of the books that were used in history classes. But I strongly suspect that there are many records of Luna hidden away."

    "And no one found them. Because that would be a lot of work to find out stuff about a part of our history that isn't all that interesting anyway, and there are plenty of published books if you really.. want to read something."

    That sounds like a conspiracy theory. But as Grayven pointed out before wiping out the British government, just because you've got a theory about a conspiracy, that doesn’t mean that you're not right. Conspiracies exist, and people sometimes work them out by collecting evidence.

    "And no one knew about Luna to ask, no one went to the Castle in the Everfree because it was in the Everfree. So why didn't you..? I don’t know, give me Starswirl's Unfinished Spell? That didn't have anything to do with Luna, and I wouldn't have kept asking you if I had something concrete to work on."

    "Because it wouldn't have helped you learn to use the Elements of Harmony, and that was my top priority."

    "Oh, so Grayven was right."

    "No, Grayven wasn't right. It was my top priority, but not my only one. You would not have been able to use Starswirl's Unfinished Spell."

    "But that would have made me read up on him. I could have learned what I needed to do, and that would have motivated me."

    "Without knowing about the Elements of Harmony?" Celestia shakes her head. "I don't believe that it would be possible to form the emotional bonds necessary if you were doing it just to gain power."

    "You mean that I might have had to learn lessons about friendship to get what I wanted?" I shake my head. Good to know that I don't revere Celestia at all anymore. "Why exile?"

    "Because I didn't know what you read, and couldn't ask you what you read without letting you know that there was something I did not want you to know. And I knew for certain that you would not be able to do what I wanted my student to do, and I did not have enough time to train you and somepony else."



    "That's a lot of honesty all at once."

    "Someone suggested that I consider not lying."

    I did.

    "Fine. Since you finally got the message, let's keep going."
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2023
  14. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    It was near the end of Episode 123: Coup Data.
     
  15. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    That feeling you feel right now, Sunset, is what we like to call 'being hoist by your own petard'.

    Not your own Picard. That's when you tell the waiter at the Chinese restaurant to make it Zho.


    (Also: all at once.)
     
  16. Oglymogly

    Oglymogly I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Huh, no wonder Celestia needed someone else to use the Elements, she defiently couldn't use honesty.

    Man, I never thought about what it'll be like to erase your own sister from history. That's hardco... Wait, no wonder Luna was having trouble fitting in, no one remembered her enough to be able to say what areas her responsibilities and hobbies were in. Hell, outside the capital it'll be hard to convince people she's Celestia's sister.

    Celestia is a very intelligent idiot.
     
  17. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Heh. Figures most of it is old junk. Safe to say that anything really interesting would be very securely tucked away. Still, maybe some of the pieces had novel spell-work concepts that could inform a smart student...

    Always amusing to see the points of contrast between Paragon and Renegade.

    No joke. Whalesong can be heard hundreds of miles away, and you can just imagine how far the sound of a nuclear detonation or a massive geological upheaval can travel.

    Their mages would probably thank you for not setting off anything disruptive near their delicate experiments...

    Like dropping a bowling ball onto a trampoline... I bet more than a few insightful mages, and even a few gods, are looking that way asking 'what is that?'

    Straight to it, then.

    And we come back to the end of yesterday's chapter...

    Love that casual, barely-thinking-about-it bit of spell work. Shows how skilled she is.

    I expect Celestia stands like 6' 4", compared to Sunset's much smaller frame. Supermodel height to match supermodel looks.

    Don't mind the slight redness around her nose. :p It's totally just the cold, and not her banging her face on the floor earlier...

    Oh, very subtle. Suggesting that Sunset would be more likely to do something messy? :oops: You didn't even realise you did it, did you, Celestia?

    Be glad it's not Twilight Sparkle you're talking to, or she'd have an itemised list or three... Hundred.

    Well, there's an interesting angle to lead off with.

    I mean, the whole wing was forbidden for some reason, after all.

    :confused: ...Not seeing where you're going with this, Sunbutt.

    Because the first place Twilight would look for information on odd celestial occurrences would be her library...

    ...Oh. o_O Oh...

    Because if you had a thousand years to lay plans, why not go whole hog and orchestrate the entirety of Equestrian History? :rolleyes:

    ...I mean... Consider who would be writing the history books: Graduates of her schools, who would come looking for personal insight on historical events..

    People like Twilight Sparkle would probably be the ones to find them, though. Surprised she doesn't have some hidden monastery somewhere that keeps the True History well hidden, though. Or would that inevitably be found out too quickly?

    A spell that distorted bonds of friendship linked with the caster... In the hands of someone who had no use for friends?

    Ironically, it would go on to give Twilight Sparkle the push she needed to Awaken, though...

    You'd have been in the same boat as him, though, unable to use it because of the lack of needed bonds.

    I don't know... Look at the Renegade. He has bonds that parallel all of the Elements. We saw Artemis tagging the fusion of him and Grayven-16 with them in order to... Reboot the Renegade's personality.

    And for once, she does have a point. She was already wary of Sunset's growing desire for knowledge... She could easily have panicked, picturing Sunset going the same way as Luna did. :oops: It doesn't excuse her actions, but it casts them in a new light.

    After all, you still have the inevitable breaking down of old walls, the teary reconciliation and the cathartic tears to get through. Oh, wait, this isn't a Narrative Stereotype scene. :D No need to lean on cliche here...

    Celestia did some stupid shit in her plans to get her sister back, didn't she? I bet she didn't even realise how 'evil mastermindy' it all seemed when she was doing it, either. But being forced to look back on it now... Yes, she's starting to realise how she's basically broken her kingdom's culture under her reins, hasn't she? Perhaps when she gets back, she can start fixing what she broke...
     
  18. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Lying
     
  19. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    "want you to"
     
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  20. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I think she'd be shorter than human Sunset since Alicorn Sunset is taller than Alicorn Celestia.

    And if she tried to form bonds then it would purely be for the added power and that may not work.

    That not working can see her be frustrated and it may also erode her belief in friendship and willingness to engage in friendship the more her approach fails and thus she would always get farther and farther away from her goal.
     
  21. TodaBruh

    TodaBruh Fiction is life's spice <( ̄︶ ̄)↗

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    She got infected with the Paulness.
     
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  22. Duke Long

    Duke Long Glomerulus

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    Huh. Never seen this synonym before.
     
  23. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Well worn.

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    As opposed to dump all responsibilities on Twilight Sparkle and on on a long vacation with Luna?
     
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  24. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  25. Idkusername

    Idkusername Versed in the lewd.

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    From the rewritten Coup Data part 22; this should be ‘What’.
     
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  26. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  27. Vanbers

    Vanbers Well worn.

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    I mean, it does make some sense that someone in it purely for power would just flat-out find it harder/impossible to actually use the Elements.

    Really, the 'Friendship Lessons' unironically being something that actually helped in-universe and not just a show thing is nice.

    Also like that Celestia is, in fact, changing or trying to, and is aware of her fucking up. Character development, albeit slow, is nice to see.
     
  28. Valint

    Valint I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Worse than that, it's not even just if you're in it for power; it's legitimately the kind of situation where even just knowing what's going on makes things harder.

    I mean, if you know that in order to bond to the Element of Generosity, you need to give away something of significant personal value without any expectation of being rewarded... well, absent memory spells, good luck pulling that off now.

    My headcanon for why even Starswirl, the non-alicorn who arguably knew the most about the process of being an alicorn, never became one himself: He knew too much about the process, which fucked him over because it required him to do things purely because you wanted to do the thing, without knowing about the reward.

    For as manipulative as Celestia is, I feel like there's a legitimate interpretation that the only way she actually knew to get someone to become an alicorn was by stage-managing things behind the scenes while leaving the person in the dark.
     
  29. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Depends.

    The question is, did he recognise Stygian's spell and lie about it, or did he genuinely not recognise it.

    Because at that point Celestia and Luna were already alicorns, so he didn't do what would have made most sense to me from a story perspective and reverse engineer Stygian's spell to make them ascend. Starswirl's Unfinished Spell is, well, unfinished. Which means that he didn't know how to turn regular ponies into alicorns. If he didn't recognise Stygian's spell, then it's more likely that he'd just been throwing magic at the wall in the hope that something stuck, and that they ascended more or less because he rolled a natural 20.
     
  30. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    After all, the most important part about being The Wizard That Did It is making sure people know you are The Wizard That Did It while making sure people don't know you have no idea how to do it again.
     
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