St. Patrick's Day Advice

I realize that it's currently St. Patrick's Day, so I figured I'd give you some advice, if you want to get drunk, it's more important to drink quickly than to make sure your drinks taste good. Oh yeah, #420YOLOSWAG.

 

The most important thing is to get drunk.

Also nice to know that in retrospect I had a justification to get shitfaced yesterday.

Incidentally, any holidays I can celebrate today? I already started this morning, just wanted to know what I'm celebrating right now.

 

Late advice:, but maybe it'll stick for next year.

It takes time for alcohol to enter your bloodstream. Do not do multiple rounds of shots back to back, because when it hits you, you will go from sober to absolutely fucked to puking very fast. For an all-day-into-the-night event like St. Pats, pace yourself and drink mostly beer or you will certainly pass out early. Unless you want to do an any% drunk speedrun, then go wild, but the staff will not thank you.

Eat. Food slows alcohol absorption. And helps with pacing yourself when drinking beer because your stomachs volume will be partially filled.

Do not fucking drive. Absolutely do not fucking drive. Even if you think you're some kind of drunk driving savant - what about every other fucker who was at that block party? You think they're savants too? Take a cab, or if you can, walk to and crash at a nearby friend's place.

Do not walk into an Irish pub and ask for green beer. You don't walk into an Italian restaurant and order Chef Boyardee, so order something actually Irish, or just get your usual drink. Any Irish bar worth the name will have Guinness. Probably Harp or Smithwicks too. If you're not into beer, whiskey & ginger ale is a good and easy mixed drink. Jameson, Bushmills, Tullamore Dew, Powers, and Paddy's are all Irish whiskeys. I'm partial to the higher end Tullamore Dews myself.

Drink water. Hangovers are caused by dehydration, so making sure to hydrate will extend your endurance for the long day and also stave off feeling like death the day after.

Be patient. There are hundreds of other people who also want to drink. There's only a few bartenders. Don't be an ass because you have to wait. For that matter, not everyone behind the bar IS a bartender, so don't get mad because that one guy or gal is ignoring you. They're not a bartender, it's literally not their job to serve you. Don't be an ass about it.

Know where the trash cans and bathrooms are. Nobody wants to deal with your vomit. If you gotta puke, do it, but know when to run for the nearest bin or toilet so you're not barfing into a pint glass or on your mates or dates.