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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Does this mean Drann is a criminal currently serving time?
     
  2. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    No.
     
  3. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    This would mean he's also responsible, at least in the sense of 'setting things in motion', for nuking that supervolcano, isn't it?
     
  4. Ostentatiousnessness

    Ostentatiousnessness First of his name, last of his kind

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    This combined with what ever is going down with Lysis, Power Ring, and Sinestro is very close to tipping off the edge from Double Triple Cross and tumbling right down into a massive Xanatos Gambit Pileup.

    Of course, being the only reasonably sane man, Paul's going to have to un-pileup the gambits just so that anyone can get some productive work done.
     
  5. RoninSword

    RoninSword Sky God

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    So I would like to point out that we still don't actually know if this maltusian got the Blood from the Free Lancers. For all we know he's had it for a long long time and the Lancers are completely unconnected and currently in the process of selling it to someone else.
     
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  6. Old Knife

    Old Knife Not too sore, are you?

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    Is Kalmin going to shoot someone?
     
  7. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Sane reasonable Paul is the one in JLAU without a Power Ring.
     
  8. Threadmarks: Butcher's Blood (part 21)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    21st January 2013
    16:18 GMT


    Thin tron lines glow red as Orion raises and lowers the hammer, his jaw tense.

    "You must focus on each part of your anger and hate. Remember each slight and abusing. Picture them clearly as you swing the hammer."

    Given that he's had no training for this or experience with a power ring, Orion's current record of five unified strikes seems pretty reasonable to me.

    "Your manners try my patience."

    "Then get angry! There is no need to contain yourself here, godling. Use your passions to fuel your labours!"

    Orion brings the hammer down with a little more force this time, but the tiny fragment of ring that had already been created shatters from the mismatch of emotion.

    Ping.

    Orion's jaw trembles for a moment as the red dust evaporates from the force, but he takes a moment and then raises the hammer once more.

    I'm not sure that's the best approach. I'd start with a skeleton of things that make him angry now, and build more complex things from there. But I don't know anything like as much about the red light as I do the orange. Or maybe he's just trying to wind-

    Jade taps my left gauntlet.

    -Orion up?

    She continues to tap… Morse code.

    Did he get the red material from the Free Lancers?

    Hm. It would make a certain amount of sense. I assumed that they used the gates to get to Sector Five One Nine Seven, but Draan Del Daar could quite easily have moved them himself. And while this system's detection network is pretty darn good, we've never tested it against a hostile maltusian. He could teleport them to this highly shielded underground base without being spotted.

    So it's possible. Can I gather more information?

    Ping.

    I can't see through the walls. More limited scans aren't showing me any traces of their emotions or biology. What..? Else..?

    It's his motive again. If he was sending the Free Lancers anyway, was it a fluke? They definitely got to Volkreg before we did. Did he hear that I was asking Kalmin about other rings? Was me doing this just a happy coincidence as far as he was concerned? I mean, Hinon's been making waves, so it's… Not out of the question. Except… I saw orange from him earlier, but no red.

    Ah. The red images were slightly different in each location. It might be possible to use empathic vision on them directly to get an idea of whether they're from the places we visited. And it they are…

    Ping.

    Then I'll be justified in questioning him more aggressively.

    It might disrupt what Orion's doing, but given his current success rate I doubt that it will make much difference. Alright. Crank up the empathic vision and see what I can-

    The bull lowers its horns and charges and RIP and TEAR and PAIN!

    -seeow.

    Ping.

    That was… Pretty similar. The rampant bull featured pretty strongly, but then again, when would the Butcher not be rampant?

    I tap back 'Uncertain, but probably'.

    "I am hitting the forge as you insist."

    "Any fool can hit a forge with a hammer! I need you to hit it with your soul!"

    Ping.

    "You want me to..?"

    Ping.Ping.

    "You're a new god, aren't you?"

    "Very well, then." RIGHTEOUS FURY!

    The hammers begins glowing a faint red as he strikes the anvil once again.

    "I will show you." DIVINE CHASTISEMENT!

    Ping ping ping.

    "The full extent of my rage!" GODLY WRATH!

    The hammer lights up, tron lines shining with blinding light! The forge glows as well, and I can see whatever it is in the troughs flowing to the forge in a series of flickering, rage-filled images.

    Jade jerks away, hands clenching into fists and her body crouching slightly as she tries to keep it from affecting her. I'm-.

    I'm. No Ophidian. But I… I'm not feeling angry myself. Why aren't..?

    I raise my right arm, empathic vision turned up. I can't normally see myself in the way I see other people, but-. Ah. Red light swirls andIt's trying to attach itself to me but it isn't finding anything to attach to before flowing away, drawn to the far angrier Orion and... Jade.

    Does this happen when I make a ring? That could be a problem.

    Ping.

    I turn away from Orion, who continues to swing his hammer with greater ferocity even as he completely loses his rhythm.

    Ping!

    "That's the spirit! I can nearly feel it myself!"

    "Jade?"

    "It's-. Making me think of all the things you do that make me angry."

    "Normally, I'd be happy to talk about them and see if we can resolve the-."

    Her helmet comes up so she can make eye contact through our visors. "That's one of them."

    "The underlying issue, but as Orion said, anger feeds anger."

    "What keeps it out? Tell me!"

    Ping!

    In her case? I'd like to say love, but I'm a little more self-aware than that. Given her life to date, not fear or compassion-. Alan. She always seemed relaxed around him, even when he was wearing his ring.

    "Hope. Your emotions are the way they are as a reaction against your father. Embrace the idea that you can be a new person. Remember how you-" She nods. "-feel around Alan. Hold on to that."

    "It's not… Easy."

    Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

    "INFERNAL DEVICE, CEASE YOUR INCESSANT SQUAWKING!"

    Orion uses his left hand to rip his Mother Box from his belt and hurl it-.

    I try to use a construct to catch it, but it's too slow to form. Instead I activate my armour's flight system and catch it.

    Ping.

    "I'm sure he didn't mean it."

    Orion tosses his hammer into the wall, cratering it up to the handle!

    "I MEANT EVERYTHING!"

    And then his face starts to… Change.
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2023
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  9. Massgamer

    Massgamer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Yeah, that would be his rage face.

    Poor Mother Box, hope he apologizes to it later.
     
  10. Bigking321

    Bigking321 Not too sore, are you?

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    So... either rage enlightenment or butcher has a host.

    Yay?
     
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  11. RoninSword

    RoninSword Sky God

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    Or he's just going Red Light overload like Paul did with Orange.
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2023
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  12. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Hinon is glaring at you so hard right now for ignoring yet another thing she warned you about...
     
  13. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    That should say 'the'.
     
  14. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  15. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    I presume Orion isn't doing the thing to Draan's satisfaction, then. Sadly, I get the feeling this will only cause Orion to get angry at them, rather than reflecting on his own stimuli... Talk about failing your 'Assist Other' skill checks. :p

    Heh. No-one likes a backseat driver, huh?

    Honestly, that might end up with Draan getting more anger than they expected.

    "I know he's annoying, Sweetie. But I think he's honestly offering good advice." At least Orion isn't rage-quitting the process.

    And I suspect the Red light would not benefit from such a structured process. It always seemed more spontaneous and impulsive, every other time I've seen it. Or laser-focused, in the case of Geoffrey Talbot.

    Ah, not trusting words with Draan floating about freely like they are.

    And I see Jade's made the same deduction us readers have been, though our estimate is based on the law of narrative simplicity. You know, don't introduce more elements than you plan to thread into the story.

    "No, Sweetie, not quite it. Maybe we can let the valve open a little?" And OL is taking the guess seriously. Occam;s Razor, after all.

    That may be why they asked you to do this: Preparing the subject to provide a channel for the Rage Draan can no longer bother feeling.

    "Still not right, Sweetie. Let's try... Put your feelings about Him into it?" Careful, OL. Remember what happened last time you poked the Red Light? And the headache?

    About all Orion's doing right now is producing a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing. But he is getting angrier and angrier...

    ...I bet even the Ophidian has a headache now. Hello there, Butcher. At least you know it's the real thing now?

    "Look, Orion, Sweetie... Maybe it's something about the way you're hitting it?"

    And the anger is starting to rise, I see. Maybe that's why this isn't working: Orion is still trying to keep it leashed, instead of channeling it down his arm and into the stuff.

    "Huh. He might have a point, Sweetie. Maybe we've been going about this the wrong way?"

    "Well, it is based on rage... So maybe we can let the leash slip a little, just this once."

    Ah, it looks like things are about to get loud. In more ways than one. :sneaky:

    Yeah, the leash is out of his hand, the Red Dog of War is barking...

    "Oh, dear, oh dear, oh dear... This is going to be so bad for someone. Everyone brace yourselves..." ...And someone is going to feel the Dog's bite.

    The one drawback of letting fly with this much fury... Let's hope it's limited to just this chamber.

    Enlightenment has all your inputs capped with Orange Light, I guess. That's why external effects slide right off you.

    "Uh-oh!" To be fair, it apparently does take absolute focus on the emotion, just as said way back when. It's just that OL's focus is already absolute, so he doesn't notice it from the inside.

    "Sweetie, focus! Don't let the Dog rule you!" Oh, this could be bad. He's going full ham...

    ...She must have a good hold of herself, given she's not trying to tear someone's throat out with her little finger right now. (And she probably could, being a ninja...)

    ...OL, slamming the button until it breaks is not how to deal with it.

    A flame needs fuel, after all.

    "Orion! Let's try to bring it down a notch, Sweetie!"

    Seems like the best option. Everything else can fan the flames the Red Light is sparking.

    "Orion! It's too much! Stoooop!" Oh, boy. I think this might get messy...

    I mean, he probably has her tinkling in his head nearly all the time, given his innate rage, but in this case...

    "Owie." ...Familiarity is breeding contempt. And contempt is fuel for the fires of Rage.

    Orion, don't you say it! There are some things you can't take back!

    ...It's time, folks! Baha Men, hit it! :D

    ...And the Red Dog of War is loose. Let's hope he's not too rabid to forget what he's supposed to be doing. Because that Red Ring still needs forging, before he tries to rip out the throat of the disembodied Draan Del Daar. ...And I get the feeling he could manage it, in this state. Let's just hope they can get the leash back on him afterwards, though.
     
  16. Old Knife

    Old Knife Not too sore, are you?

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    RAGE ORION is going to be Darkside's favorite son.
     
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  17. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Unless something's changed, Orion is already Darkseid's favorite son.
     
  18. TodaBruh

    TodaBruh Fiction is life's spice <( ̄︶ ̄)↗

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    Is this a case of Paul being too accommodating? He's so nice it irritates her?
     
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  19. theaceoffire

    theaceoffire Versed in the lewd.

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    It's a mother box, and mothers are used to kids throwing tantrums.
     
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  20. Rafin

    Rafin Not too sore, are you?

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    What did he look like post transformation?

    What was the crossover setup? Alien invasion of Equestria? Ponies finding themselves stranded on Earth during the X-Com era?

    Poor Sinestro emulation.

    Someone refresh my memory. I remember that in the very early chapters Paul sniped Ra's al Ghul, observed how he was brought to the Lazarus Pit, then destroyed it and sniped him again. What happened to Ra's al Ghul after that? And how was Nylor Truggs involved. Sorry, but it's all so long ago.

    Honestly, I remember the destruction of the Light in the Renegade story, but many of the details from the main story elude me right now.

    Are you sure? I don't remember any Nylor vs his employees situation.
     
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  21. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    "A pest they may be, but they're still giving some good advice."

    "Try thinking about that big grey asshole."
     
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  22. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    As Sportsmaster was apprehended, an offscreen competition for his replacement was held. The winner was whoever could get rid of Ra's, as Paulphidian's actions stripped him of all his usefulness to the Light. Truggs won, so he became the Light's middleman for a good while.
     
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  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    A slightly different octopus.
    Twilight teleported to X-Com Earth and captured by X-Com.
     
  24. rdfox

    rdfox Know what you're doing yet?

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    Well, that demands a bit of Gunny Hartmann...



    Now that I think of it, if there's any human who could wield a red ring without losing control and/or just failing to operate it properly, it'd probably be a Marine drill sergeant who's been stuck doing that job for the past decade-plus and is just done with all the fuckin' boots he keeps getting sent every 13 weeks... yeah, they're damned good actors (it's impossible to actually be that pissed off 24/7), but there's a huge amount of concentrated, distilled, long-festering Hate that builds up beneath the surface from all the frustrations involved!
     
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  25. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Throwing tantrums, sure, but are mothers used to kids throwing them?
     
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  26. hkim

    hkim Know what you're doing yet?

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    On New Genesis? Probably.
     
  27. Threadmarks: Butcher's Blood (part 22)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    21st January 2013
    16:22 GMT


    Red light flows freely from the troughs, running into his body. The… 'Ears' on his helmet grow as they slide forwards, the faceplate extends downwards and the material of its construction takes on a more bone-like appearance as it… Merges with his face. His clothing had looked like it was made of a soft material, but now it expands with red armoured plates growing out of it. The belt grows a decoration of tiny skulls while the uneven surface of the armour suggests.. dripping blood.

    His eyes are glowing red and I'm pretty sure that this isn't supposed to happen.

    "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!"

    But I'm still not feeling anger. And he's referring to himself in the singular and-.

    "Orion, are you-?"

    He tilts his head back and breathes construct fire, the flames enveloping the upper portion of the room.

    "FACE ME DRAAN DEL DAAR!" STAND BEFORE ME, COWARD!

    Space shudders as Draan precipitates out of the air, staggering a pace as he lands and patting out the flames from his robes.

    "Yes! YES!" Draan spreads his arms out wide! "SET ME ON FIRE WITH YOUR RAGE!"

    I don't know-. Okay, I don't think that Orion is possessed or… Acting as a host. He's just internalised the red light-. Which is what I was seeing, I just didn't take into account that there might be other changes.

    Oh dear.

    Orion grabs Draan by the neck with his right hand, lifting him off the ground. His eyes fix themselves on me.

    "AND YOU, LANTERN! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!"

    "No."

    He-. Move!

    He leaps at me, swinging Draan as a bludgeoning weapon through the space I just occupied! Draan's legs hit the floor and I'm sure that if he were any vaguely normal humanoid his legs would be jelly along with his neck. Instead he's… Grinning.

    Ping.

    "Draan, what the-"

    Orion swings again, Draan's body glowing as it clips-. Agh! My armour, which gets a chunk gouged out of it as a result.

    "-heck are you-"

    Orion holds out his left hand and a great axe appears in it. Not a construct axe, he just manifested a physical axe-. With more reach! Back up back up!

    "YOU DID THIS TO ME!"

    "Yyyeeeeesssss…"

    Ping.

    He swings again, and this time I catch the haft of his axe in the prongs of a construct bident-.

    Ah.

    And am reminded that he has super strength and I don't by being slammed against the wall on the far side of the room!

    Orion death-glares me before throwing Draan to the ground and switching his axe to a two-handed grip. The axe glows a furious red as he swings it down!

    "BE SMOTE FROM THE UNIVERSE!" "BE SMOTE FROM THE UNIVERSE!"

    I throw out a beam of orange energy to try and block the axe, but he cleaves through it and slams the blade deep into Draan's chest!

    And Draan wraps his hands around the haft.

    "Finally-ah. It's been so long since I last felt pain. I'd forgotten-."

    Orion tries to pull the axe back for a second swing, but it… Looks like Draan's strong enough to stop him.

    "Forgotten what it felt like. And now I'm starting to remember what it was like to get angry."

    Ping.

    Orion tugs harder on the axe, but it doesn't move at all.

    "Is that what this was about?"

    "Hinon told you about her false face. The way she pretends to be a crotchety old.. human.. woman… Because you young species get confused when she behaves like herself."

    Orion stamps his right foot on Draan's stomach and heaves… To no avail. And the red light is starting to flow through him and into Draan.

    "I don't see the link. You want anger? The red light?"

    "I want my passion back. I hunted the Butcher for centuries, from civilisation to civilisation, from soul to soul! And by the end it hated me more than anyone else in the history of the universe! You know what it did to me, don’t you?"

    I can guess.

    "It barred you from using its light."

    "For so long I couldn't even remember why it mattered. And then I didn't think it could be fixed. But you've got this strange knack-."

    Orion tries to let go, only to find that his hands are stuck.

    "Oh no you don't. That glorious anger is completely wasted on you, isn't it, you petulant child? Not the slightest scrap of self-mastery."

    "If you'd told us this was what you wanted, we would have helped you voluntarily."

    "That's not how it works. It needed to be engrafted, and he needed to be angry at me."

    "Okay, and… Then what?"

    "And then I express myself"

    I'm going to be having words with Hinon after this.

    "'Express yourself' as in..?"

    "This is a very… Angry… Bachelor pad. With guns that will ruin the whole of Maltus."

    "What did we ever do to you?"

    "I'm too angry to care."

    Yes, this is much worse than I thought.

    Ping.

    Well, thank you, but that doesn't actually-

    Jade shoots him in the head to no effect.

    -help.

    "Come on, war godling." Draan grins up at Orion, small flecks of yellow blood spitting from his lips and seeping from the wound in his chest. "Give me everything."
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2023
  28. Bigking321

    Bigking321 Not too sore, are you?

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    Huh. This is really interesting.

    Also a complete disaster. But a interesting one!
     
  29. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    That should say 'Bachelor', and 'Maltus' should be capitalized.

    This was completely unexpected, but it is interesting and I can't wait to see how it ends. Also, where did that image of that Red Lantern come from and who is it?
     
  30. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    I always suspected Dran was a creep but I could have never predicted this outcome.
    it instead of if
     
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