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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Either "affected area" or "effect area".

    Us, from Earth -14, was (comma positioning)
     
  2. Threadmarks: Home Field (part 23)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    6th February 2013
    22:28 GMT -5


    "They're lining up along the shore."

    Artemis is looking at Mannheim's parade. I'm tracking the vehicles he brought with him using cameras Match planted, because that's where the people with actual equipment will be. We've-. The Justice League has learned how to… 'Deal' with mobs of Anti-Life-infected people. Sometimes, when there's a focus around, a 'city boss', they can take people who would usually just try stumbling through their day, and… Turn them into Vodun type zombies. They're not in their right minds, but they're still dangerous.

    Except they're just standing there.

    "Robin to Canis. Any reason why Mannheim brought the crowd?"

    "Etheric pressure. They demonstrate the normalcy of his version of the Anti-Life. The actual Darkseid has no need for such reinforcement."

    We've got some gas canisters on that side of the bridge, but that's a lot of people. I don't-.

    "Do we need to deal with them?"

    "If Mistress achieves dominion, that will remove them as an issue."

    "Does he know she can do that?"

    "I doubt that he would bother coming here if he didn't. It's a contest he undoubtably believes that he will win, so he does not see the potential penalty for losing as a problem worth considering."

    His limousine and escorts are most of the way across the bridge. We had the Justified that work for Mistress come off the bridge in case he got some benefit from subverting them. We don't-. I don't think Mistress can actually win a fair fight. We just need her to hold on for long enough that we can knock out his support, and win that way.

    I check the camera pointed at the C4 we planted on the bridge supports, just in case. Yep, still there.

    The motorcade pulls up in the parking lot, the escort vehicles forming a perimeter around the limo. Guards get out-. Justified. I recognise Orpheus and Onyx and a couple of others. Not Alpha Centurion, but he's busy fighting the Hawks in Central Africa.

    And then-.

    Someone gets out of the limo. And I look away for a moment and I can't quite remember what I saw. Every time I blink-.

    One time I tried drawing him while I kept looking at him, and then when I looked away I'd just drawn an omega. He doesn't keep this… Whatever this is, up all the time. Whatever Darkseid did to him, he's still physically just a big man. Mostly, he goes around looking like one. So either he's changed, or he's just doing it to mess-.

    "Canis, can you see Mannheim right now?"

    "Yes. It is as if a feeble human has hooks in his skin, stretching him out to fill a Darkseid-shaped mould."

    "Is that literally what's happened?"

    "Perhaps. Perhaps not. He is enough a New God that his reality is not entirely real."

    "Is Mannheim resisting? Is he-?"

    "Not that I can see. It may be that my contempt for him is colouring my thoughts."

    The Mannheim-shape looks around, taking in the prison-.

    He just looked at all of my cameras, one after the other. I frantically try to recall exactly what just happened, but between the… Eight seconds that just vanished from my mind and from the camera's records, I don't think that's going to happen. I tap my 'eye drive' short term memory backup in case this version of the wards has actually worked, unlike the last dozen times we've tried it.

    Nothing.

    But if I check the record just before and just after…

    He looked at me.

    There are two walls between us. My uniform's in stealth mode. I didn't move and unless he's got ears like a kryptonian he didn't hear me. There are no cameras watching me.

    I think he knew where I am because I'm being affected by the Anti-Life. But the traps aren't; they're inanimate objects. The detonators are as simple as they can be. He shouldn't be able to detect them. And even if he does… Would he know what it's supposed to do?

    I hate not having information I need. Especially when I can't get that information. And other people's lives are on the line.

    "Artemis to Robin. He spotted you too, huh?"

    "Yeah. Did his guards?"

    "No. I don't think so. They didn't look this way. Do you think they actually guard him?"

    She knows I don't know. She's trying to distract me. I must look almost as tense as I feel.

    And then I can see him clearly, and it's Bruno 'Ugly' Mannheim if he went on an intense body building course, did something about his posture and got a really good tailor. His expression doesn't ever change, looking around like the universe isn't worth his time. Like he finds it disappointing.

    And then he's walking towards the vehicle entrance, heading towards the courtyard. His escorts… A few of them spread out, but Orpheus and Onyx stick with him as he enters Blackgate proper.

    "Robin to Alexander."

    "That was… An experience. Is that normal?"

    "That's the man who's taken over the world. None of the city bosses have the same ability to… Keep themselves out of your mind. Our best telepaths can't work around it."

    "And your wizards?"

    "We try and keep them away from him. He's… Too good at getting into peoples' minds and souls. Anyone good enough to beat him has… Something powering them that we can't risk."

    "So they study him and his works in an attempt to find a solution indirectly. I'll have to speak with them, assuming that my work is still required after this meeting."

    Here's hoping.

    Okay, he's in the courtyard. Mistress, Canis, Holly and a few of her Justified are… Waiting for him. He's not slowing at all, just walking right towards her at the same pace.

    "Karon Chase. You've come up in the world."

    Hey… I hadn't noticed it before, but… His voice doesn't have quite the same resonance as the Justified. Or the city bosses. With them, they're functioning in the same despair the rest of us feel. They're just better at coping with it. With him…

    When I hear it, I don't think about him being better adjusted to what's happening. With him, it's the rest of us that are supposed to be miserable. He's above it.

    "Bruno Mannheim. You've gone up in the world as well."

    "The less Bruno Mannheim I became, the further up I rose."

    "What are you here for?"

    "You've adapted to the Anti-Life is a way I haven't seen before. I want that."

    "I'm not for hire."

    "That is not what I meant." "All Is One In Mannheim."
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2023
  3. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  4. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Missing a space.

    That should say 'Onyx'.
     
  5. Doccer

    Doccer I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Mannheim's parade
     
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  6. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    I was looking through the list of omakes, and found that the link for this one no longer works. The link says page 1338, but the part is on page 1336. It's an easy fix by changing the link so that it goes to a specific post instead of a page on the thread.
     
  7. crazygrox

    crazygrox Versed in the lewd.

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    This is one of the things that makes me think that Darkseid getting the whole antilife equation would be self defeating.

    If the antilife wears away at everyone's will, and a truely complete equation has an unlimited capacity to do so, how long will being a tyrant continue to hold meaning after he's crushed all of his opposition?.

    A complete equation that can defeat all resistance against it should also defeat all ability to live with it.
     
  8. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    And parade is the right word for the display he's putting on. This is no supporting army, because what does a Ruler need for an army to convince his underlings of their place? Even underlings who have not yet realised they are one...

    Spiritual Intimidation, most likely. A chorus to sing his praises.

    No, He relies solely upon his force of Divine Right to Rule. His godhead is so strong that He deforms reality simply by standing there.

    If she wins. Which still remains to be seen. Hopefully her will to stand firm is stronger than his desire to be obeyed.

    Because to consider the possibility of defeat opens the door to it. He cannot allow that.

    A pity that will simply trap you on the island, since he would likely just Boom Tube away.

    Orpheus and Onyx, for reference. In the comics, two agents of the Bat. Here, members of the Alliance of the Just... Evidently Mannheim's flexing on Mistress' control of Gotham.

    A memetic dodge, to prevent people remembering anything of the man acting as Darkseid's agent.

    Heh. I'm reminded of Dan Turpin!Darkseid from Final Crisis.

    And presumably what metaphysicque he has is being moulded in Darkseid's image. Like a finger puppet that was once a man.

    Or his human soul has simply been crushed underfoot by the imprint of Him.

    Worrying. No doubt he wants no-one recording this.

    Useful, having an anti-amnesia system...

    But you were watching the cameras, and thus him. To observe is to be observed...

    hopefully all goes well, then. Otherwise, Batman is not going to be happy.

    They're little more than extensions of him at this point. If he wanted them to act, they would...

    I suspect they're mostly for show. An honour guard as he strides confidently into a lesser rival's encampment to accept their surrender...

    And so the conqueror enters the foe's lair. Time for the battle to begin...

    What's normal, these days?

    Unless they're New Gods, I doubt they could overcome his memetic filters...

    Confidence. That's good. try to old onto that, even when Mannheim is shouting his creed to the heavens and you...

    Trying to suggest that he's here as a supplicant, not a superior. Let's hope it works.

    Still not a patch on the true voice of Darkseid, I bet...

    Stay focused, people. Believe that he has power, and you give him that power...

    Which implies so much about you, doesn't it, Brucey? To become stronger, you had to stop being you...

    And the first shot is fired. Let the battle commence!

    So, then. Mannheim has drawn his metaphorical blade. Now to see if Karon can withstand his assault, and fire back in kind. Or perhaps she'll take a different tack, weaken his resolve, maybe. One thing is for certain. Only one of them will walk away from this of their own accord. The other... Will be their servant.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2023
  9. AmericanNumbers

    AmericanNumbers Not too sore, are you?

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    It seems to be an ongoing theme in this fic with Darkseid that he's looking for a way to subvert? Escape? Let's say alter his relationship with the Anti Life. Thru proxies but it seems consistent. It's a very interesting story device that effectively is also a progression for Darkseid that is in character.
    Long-winded way to say that i really enjoy how Mr. Zoat uses Kirby's toys. Kudos.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2023
  10. chxenocide

    chxenocide Getting sticky.

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    Well, this has interesting implications.
     
  11. Duke Long

    Duke Long Glomerulus

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    ‘good at’
    ’You’ve’

    I’m liking the look at Mannheim. I thought he was cool when we saw him briefly earlier, and I think he’s cool now. Although it occurs to me, while he is trying to spiritually overpower Karon for now, if they successfully sabotage his plan will he just kill them in a fistfight (or shoot Omega beams at them)? He’s pretty much unstoppable for the people present, right? I suppose that sort of thing might be beneath him.
     
  12. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  13. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Who is Orpheus again?
     
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  14. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    He's the leader of Gotham's chapter of the Alliance of the Just. In the comics, he was a minor hero who worked under Batman before he was killed off.
     
  15. Dur'id the Druid

    Dur'id the Druid Know what you're doing yet?

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    Why is this reminding me of that Dalek vs. Cyberman episode?

     
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  16. BR549

    BR549 This is filth! FILTH!!

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    Kinda does, doesn't it?

    And also once again "Mannheim" in the Godspeech, not "Darkseid". Still wondering if this will end with an Actual Darkseid Interrupt as the big gray guy deals with his pawn having become a potential rival (in his own mind at least)...
     
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  17. Finagle007

    Finagle007 [Verified Great Old One]

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    Yeah, letting anyone with that much Anti-Life in them anywhere near someone with a direct connection to the Life Entity would be a huge risk, and a foolish one.
     
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  18. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    Given her history as an ex-sex worker, I dearly wish she had said "I'm not for sale" instead.

    Also, I wonder where Selina Kyle has set herself up during this confrontation. Batman certainly would have let her know about this.
     
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  19. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    Unless I'm misremembering, I don't believe Karon is an ex-sex worker. Holly is, being the one that the Illustres stopped after a theft, way back.
     
  20. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    Karon worked in a deli in the comics, I understand.

    I don't know enough about the character to know if she eventually changed jobs or if Zoat just changed her occupation for some reason.
     
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  21. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    I believe I mixed up their names then, thank you.
     
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  22. Coda

    Coda Versed in the lewd.

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    Missing opening quote on the godspeech.
     
  23. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  24. Threadmarks: Home Field (part 24)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    6th February 2013
    22:32 GMT -5


    Looking down, I see Karon take a half-step towards him. I don't know why… Maybe part of Mannheim's mental control? But she catches herself and stops.

    "Are you Bruno Mannheim, or has he been consumed by Darkseid?"

    "That distinction doesn't really mean anything. Since he rewarded me, I've become more like him. My weaknesses… Human weaknesses, gone. Erased. I barely have any thoughts that aren't his anymore."

    "Oh, that must be marvellous."

    And Canis had to make it weird.

    "I'm directly connected to a higher power. I don't think this is what my old Sunday School teacher had in mind, but what does he know?"

    "Very little, I'm sure. But is there really no Mannheim left?"

    "Some memories. Isolated feelings. But all this? This isn't something I would do. This is all Darkseid."

    "Then you are no more than a monkey dressed as an organ grinder. No, less: the monkey is a being in its own right. You are little more than a telephone." Contempt for the Tracer.

    "I remember you, little artist. Do you really think that he sent Kanto after you as a form of encouragement?"

    "Of course. And a wonderful insight-!"

    "He did it because he wants you dead. He has no need for artists. He preferred your father, because at least Canis Major knew his place. He sent Kanto to deal with you both because you are an unnecessary distraction and because he wanted to keep Kanto busy. Since he's failed so many times, Darkseid just decided that you weren't worth the effort."

    Canis scoffs. "I do not believe that."

    Ah, man. That's what we all think. But with Canis, it's a little hard to tell when he's making a joke about something.

    "No?" Mannheim grins. "Search your feelings. You know it to be true."

    "I… Do not…"

    "And you've known for a while. You aren't stupid. I imagine that the main reason you rescued Dreamer was to force some sort of response out of him. To see if he remembered that you exist at all."

    He takes a step closer. Fear My Coming.

    "Kanto tried to kill you out of pity." Crush Their Prideful Delusions.

    I can see Canis's face falling as he tries to get his head around the idea-.

    I tap my communicator. "Match to Robin. I don't think-."

    "Blow them."

    I press the trigger on the detonator.

    In the courtyard, in the parking lot, along the bridge and on the shore, the aerosols containing Batman's anti-Anti-Life drug trigger, throwing the drug into the air in pale clouds of mist. I can still see through it clearly, but I don't think anyone else down there can.

    Next to them, speakers playing the Pied Piper's best uplifting music start up. We've never been able to totally get rid of the Anti-Life with it, but people listening to it usually get a whole lot more active than they were before.

    Mannheim's bodyguards go alert when the mist starts drifting by them, but they don't draw their weapons. I thought those two were from Gotham? Shouldn't they get a bit more worried about gas weapons?

    "Pathetic. No telepathic weapon? Or were you too moral to save four billion people by killing one telepath?"

    Some of the people on the shore are collapsing. Or sort of slumping, looking a lot happier than they were. I don't know if they're still connected to Mannheim or not but I don't think they're helping him.

    "You drugged some Lowlies. What did you think that would do to me?"

    "It demonstrates that even though you have 'ruled' Earth for over a month, there are still people resisting you. Studying you. Finding ways to weaken you."

    "Weaken me?"

    "Perhaps it does. Perhaps it doesn't. But if nothing matters, if all our lives amount to are motes of dust in the infinite-."

    "Do you know why you are still alive?"

    "Because I don't react to the Anti-Life in the way that others do. You feel that my point of view is a threat."

    "No." He takes a step towards her. "You are no threat."

    "Then why are you here?"

    "I'm doing this because that… Difference, is something that I don't understand. And I need to understand it. That knowledge is worth the lives of everyone on this planet. I need what you have to complete myself."

    "Match, shoot him."

    There's a quiet crackling noise as the air in front of my eyes superheats, then two rays of heat lance down-
    Be Not.
    -and get met by two beams from his eyes-. The heat just vanishes.

    "What do you need from me?"

    "Your experience. Your adaptation. A part of what makes you you. I'll break it down, work out how it works and then add it to me. I'm grateful. Without you, this would be impossible."

    "Why do you need it from me?"

    "Your response to the Anti-Life is fundamental to who you are. I could wait centuries for someone else who thinks like you to come along. Maybe longer."

    I fire a blast of heat vision again, but he blocks it with his… Omega Effect thing again. I try pulsing tiny shots of heat but he doesn't even bother looking up as he walks closer-.

    Canis's eyes have gone black. He's collapsed.

    "I shouldn’t be surprised."

    "No, you-"

    He catches the arrow and then swings it, smashing the bomb Robin threw into the air just before it can explode. I drive down fists first and-.

    Ugh!

    Brick-. Dust-. I'm-.

    "-shouldn't."

    I pull myself out of the brick just as Karon pulls out a gun and points it at her own head-.

    And Mannheim's there, arms wrapped around her forearms, eyes… Glowing.

    "Teach me." All Is One.

    His Omega Effect shoots out of his eyes into hers, and she screams!
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2023
  25. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    "take"

    Add a . at the end if the first sentence.

    'part of"

    "her own'
     
  26. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    That should say 'by'.

    That should say 'fundamental'.

    I'm really hoping Paul is going to swoop down and help save the Earth now, or else we might lose a side character just as she was starting to get more interesting.
     
  27. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

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    Is it bad I'm kinda glad Canis gets to experience the Anti-Life for what it really is? It will hopefully be the start of his breakaway from Apokolips.

    Though he will probably need a talk or two with Paul after this to get back on track.
     
  28. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    You know, they really should have called in the entire Justice League for this.
     
  29. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Indeed, it's a good question. How much of the man is left in the mouthpiece? Or is Mannheim nothing more than a speaker, dribbling an echo of Darkseid's words like a dripping tap? And how useful will that be here, I wonder?

    ...Canis, please. :oops: Keep it in your pants...

    At least that more or less answers that question.

    And I'm sure He's amused by your capering.

    Ah, the master deigns to speak through the tool... Or something like it. I doubt Darkseid is paying that much attention to this.

    Oof. That's a blow to the ego. I suspect that Canis has been hoping that he's more than an insignificant gnat...

    I suspect this time, he's serious. Mannheim is trying to break him, seeing him as a bulwark for Mistress.

    That's not true! That's impossible! ...Sorry, got into the quoting swing. :p

    Ouch. Yeah, I don't think this is going too well.

    And there's the moment Mannheim breaks him... Causing what support he was giving Mistress to crumble.

    At best, this is going to be a distraction, byplay to the main battle...

    ...Nice shout-out to Countdown...

    That's more your style, jackass.

    He's still got plenty of confidence, I'll give him that.

    Oh, don't say it like it's impossible. You're only human, after all.

    Amusing that such a seemingly nihilistic viewpoint is so effective against the Anti-Life.

    No, she's a curiosity, isn't she? You want to know how she's doing it...

    ...Well, that's bad.

    Heh, aerial support.

    Goddammit. I guess he's got enough power to give them a fight.

    Which is why you can't be allowed to have it, asshole.

    Or never have it again, if Humanity remains crushed like this...

    Whoops, that's bad.

    Let me guess. She expected him to say that.

    Damn, Mannheim really channelling his boss today...

    Somehow, I get the feeling that will be important.

    And now things get freaky, don't they?

    Well, this is going horribly. And the Team is in over their head as usual. Unfortunately, Mannheim forced their hand by moving so quickly, meaning no backup... No-one involved in this is walking away unchanged, I suspect. Definitely feeling like final boss music should be playing, too, especially if Mannheim manages to come out on top. Still, something may happen to mess up all his plans...
     
  30. Old Knife

    Old Knife Not too sore, are you?

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    ..... Where is Kon anyway? I think Solar God Rays would be better than heat vision here. More Conceptual effect.
     
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