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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Firewillreign

    Firewillreign Know what you're doing yet?

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    I take back my earlier sentiment

    Paul really should have waited for Sonestro instead. At least with that touches, the betrayal is guranteed and expected and you can plan and mitigate the fallout.

    With Batman, assuming Mr Zoat leaves him his usual bag themed plot armour, the only guarantee is that you won't see it coming no matter how prepared you think you are.
     
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  2. RoninSword

    RoninSword Sky God

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    There was no 'waiting' required for Sinestro, there was needing to explain what the ultimate plan was so that Sinestro would be satisfied it's not a trap for him or any of his (Sinestro) recruits, which Paul wasnt willing to do.
    I disagree with not using Sinestro or his recruits as well but /shrug
    Edit: I imagine that Sinestro would be aware of the White Light from his time as First Lantern but no guarantees.
     
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  3. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Batman uses Paul's true name to banish him to a dimension where the Orange Light doesn't work.
     
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  4. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    He would've been privy to GLC secrets, but the White Light is something that's too important for the Guardians to willingly reveal to one of their lanterns unless absolutely necessary, so I doubt Sinestro knows about it.
     
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  5. Bud-E

    Bud-E Stand up so I can push you down!

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    Is Manaheim still a New God? Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't the White Light just purge the Anti-Life out of him?
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2023
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  6. Old Knife

    Old Knife Not too sore, are you?

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    Mannheim is going to be a white lantern.
    I wonder what that looks like.

    And since the anti-life is connected to the earth's Thaumausphere. The white light will rush through there and bring back the age of the gods.

    This will be Hillarious and no one will recognise earth when it's done.
     
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  7. Delta/Soul

    Delta/Soul I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Mr Zoat, how much time do you have that you are able to write… however many chapters you made for this story?
     
  8. Azure Mirage

    Azure Mirage Getting sticky.

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    I have observed that Zoat writes like a thousand words a day or so, and has a buffer sometimes. I have followed him across two previous sites, and that is what I have observed from years as a reader.

    He posts once a day regularly and sometimes fights through illness to do so. At this point, he could start a patreon and make bank holding back parts. But God bless him, he has not.
     
  9. Threadmarks: Do Or Die Time (part 19)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    17th February 2013
    20:43 GMT


    Eyesredchargingrailguncrumb-!

    "No." Mannheim is still illuminated by an inner white glow as he raises his hands. "No one else."

    A white wave passes through Finality Man, turning grey into gold and blue so that it more closely resembles Prince Drax's armour. Its golden eyes flare for a moment, then-

    BOOM!

    -it opens a boom tube beneath its own feet and falls into it.

    "And now…" Mannheim turns towards the former Alliance Headquarters. "That thing. I-."

    The blaster bolt hits him in the chest and knocks him to the ground.

    Damn it! I dash over to him, creating a construct shield-

    "I honestly believed that this would work."

    A weird… Relief Mannheim walks towards us, shimmering black, blaster in his right hand.

    "And yet you cut off my origin from my present. That's an interesting avenue of attack. Not one I would have considered."

    "Father."

    "A pale imitation, due to be reunited with my true self momentarily."

    Graviton deflator, railgun with everything-. No. Message everyone. White light blast in two, one-.

    "YAAAGH!"

    Orion flies across the ground and slams into him! It takes… Shadow Mannheim off his feet but he turns with the impact, getting his right hand up to turn Orion's head aside before he can vomit blood all over him.

    "Such beautiful, savage rage." Shadow Mannheim gets his feet under him and then backhands Orion into a nearby building. "Become the beast."

    I fire, hitting him with mage slayer and crumbler rounds while Nommo ministers to real Mannheim. Batman is keeping his attention on our surroundings as the Justifiers are probably still coming. Carol looks like she's barely standing while Malvolio has scrambled to catch everyone that he dropped from his prison construct before they can hit the ground. Alan honestly looks a little behind events.

    My railgun rounds hit home, but all it does is make his image… Glitch a little.

    "An interesting -if futile- effort."

    They're not hitting the far side of him so they're not just passing through. We've shut him off from his original body and the magic he stole, but he's still got an Anti-Lifed planet to power him. Ah.

    Orion staggers out of the building, his horns glowing red horns and growing larger. And I can feel-.

    Ah, shi-.

    His right fist slams into my construct armour, completely destroying it through a combination of raw physical power and the corrosive power of the red light.

    Message to Dr. Mist. Use the Mask. Turn down his anger.

    I duck back and pwguer!

    Ah, he hit me in the chest hard enough to break my shields and crater my cuirass. Left ribs… Broken, I think.

    "Bringing my son was foolish."

    New Gods can grow back arms.

    I trigger my crumbler gauntlets and punch as his right arm, trying to-.

    His flaring environmental shield disintegrates the gauntlet and I snatch what's left back before I lose the hand as well.

    "Calm."

    "G-hyeh?"

    Orion's confused snort I.. probably a sign that Nommo's managed something-.

    I turn my head in his direction to see the Medusa Mask melt, running down his face and dripping onto the floor. Alan's taken over ministering to Mannheim, who's showing a few signs of life.

    "Orion, you need to focus. You hate your father more than anything. You're this close to actually wounding him!"

    "I…" The horns fade, whatever Shadow Mannheim did to him needing him being maniacally angry to work.

    Great. Back off and heal myself-.

    Lantern Stewart creates a bubble shield around Shadow Mannheim. Shadow Mannheim looks up at him in disbelief, then casually slams it aside as he walks out. Ghia'ta covers him in glowing crystals, but they melt immediately.

    "Love? Really? Unreliable at the best of times."

    "Blue-."

    "No."

    Mannheim pulls himself up onto all fours, then points at his negative doppelgänger. A ripple of white light passes through him, making him wince.

    "I offered you a place of rare honour. You should have remained my servant."

    "I shouldn'a ever bought what you were sellin'. Get the Hell outta here."

    Another wave of white and Shadow Mannheim visibly fades a little before regaining his strength.

    "The network-!"

    "Yeah." Mannheim looks around. "Give me a boost?"

    "Show me your ultimate folly. This… 'Life force' that resists me."

    I can still feel the link between the seven of us and Mannheim, and it's simplicity itself to let the orange light flow, and it looks like the others feel the same. Mannheim glows brilliantly-

    "Mm."

    There's a shimmering… Something just behind him. It's distorting-.

    Graviton deflator fire.

    There's a small burst of energy as I destabilise… Whatever that was. Shadow Mannheim actually starts.

    Hah. No escape for you. No taking what you learned back to actual Darkseid.

    Mannheim looks upwards, white light flowing off him and into the former Alliance of the Just headquarters in an approximation of my original plan. The glowing orange lines fade, replaced with brilliant white as the vital force of life itself shines out of the building. A moment passes and I feel it pass through me on its way out across the network. Scans show the remaining Justifiers who had been fighting other Justice League forces either dropping to the ground or staggering and looking around in stupefied bewilderment.

    "Another time, then."

    Shadow Mannheim fades out of existence as his bond with the network is destroyed. Nothing left to sustain him.

    And then I look out across the wrecked city, and-.

    "Lantern."

    Orion walks towards me, pulling the ring off his finger. I'm pleased to see that his face is back to normal, but that just lets me see how unhappy with me he is.

    "I would have words with you."
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2023
  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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  11. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    A shame about the Medusa Mask. Hopefully Paul will be able to get help from an actual Indigo Lantern in the future if this is ever necessary again.

    Good news, he's not insane with rage. Though that doesn't mean he won't punch Paul in the face.
     
  12. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Punch him in the face! He totally deserves it!
     
  13. Trickster2002

    Trickster2002 Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    VICTORY!!!
     
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  14. moralrelativity

    moralrelativity Recovering pendant.

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    grew -> grey
    needing -> needed
     
  15. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    Well done. Not as cathartic as I would have liked it, but it seems the day is won. And if the Justifiers themselves were decontaminated by the White Light wave, then the Thaumosphere and the rest of the planet's population should as well, no? No remaining Anti-Life'd individuals or any of those that had "internalized" it or whatever, right?

    Because it's gonna be rough already re-establishing society. If on top of that they also need to watch out for pockets of Anti-Life worshipers now, with who-knows-what Apokolips technology they may be in possession of, the recovery period will be even worse.

    At least the Illustres can be happy that, whatever fuck ups there were in the build up or whatever consequences there are, his strategy panned out and the Earth is saved from becoming Apokolips 2.0 or Anti-Life experiment #1984.
     
  16. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Is it?

    Realistically Darkseid should be on his way with a full warfleet to find out just how Earth was able to purge his Anti Life infection.
     
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  17. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    Honestly, right now Earth should be little more than an interesting planet that could have some interesting info on it. I don't doubt there are other planets that are just as, if not more, interesting in Darkseid's eyes. The only thing that would get him to personally visit Earth is learning of the Life Entity's existence and presence there, and I hope that never happens.
     
  18. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Oh, my. He is just saturated in White Light, isn't he? This is the point where he's either going to be your greatest ally in this fight... Or your greatest foe yet. I suppose it depends on whether he's still carrying any of the Anti-Life or if it's completely purged...

    Reprogrammed an an instant, I bet. Such is the uber-hax of the White Light.

    Wonder if it's back on New Genesis, or returned to the pocket dimension Drax is convalescing.

    Shit, lucky shot by a rando, or...

    ...And from that description, I'm picturing something like Mr Negative, the Spiderman villain. It's suitably spooky, at least.

    So, all of the... Power it's absorbed allowed the Anti-life Fragments in Mannheim to... Maintain its own existence... Somehow. Makes as much sense as anything else New God related.

    Yeah, best to block any Boom Tubes, OL. I don't think you want this bundle of data getting away.

    Which at leasts suggests it's concerned about suffering damage. It can be killed.

    Give him a second, OL. He just had one hell of a few minutes. Though it's interesting that you can tell who's the most used to esoteric bullshit by their reactions...

    It's mainlining an entire afterlife's worth of magical energy, after all...

    Ah. Okay, so the shit is still dripping off the fan. Earth hasn't been cleansed.. Yet.

    Goddammit, Orion. :rolleyes: I knew this would happen.

    Ah. Zagged when you should have zigged, huh?

    Because there's no doubt plenty of hidden hooks in Orion's soul from Apokalips...

    Not holding back, I see. The situation is that desperate, after all.

    Well, OL isn't exactly the most melee-oriented Lantern, after all...

    And I half-picture him just flopping on his face as all that rage cuts out mid-flight...

    Oh, that's bad. Hopefully he can still manage to summon Compassion without it.

    Seems almost dazed after the anger went 'poof'. Not uncommon. The human body isn't really meant to handle that much rage all at once, and a New God body is much the same despite the higher tolerances.

    Speak for yourself, nobody.

    Ah, Mannheim's back with you? Perhaps he can put that energy he's packing to use, then.

    That actually hurt it, you'll note. Might well be possible that only Mannheim can damage it, White Light or not.

    And each denial weakens it. Looks like it's only holding together as well as it is because of its bond to Mannheim.

    Assuming the doppelganger gives you the chance...

    Ah, it's overconfidence will prove it's downfall.

    Hush Tube! First time OL's ever 'seen' one, isn't it?

    No escape now, blobby. Enjoy the good feelings coming your way. :D

    Let's hope that whitewashing includes a free course of trauma-preventing selective amnesia. Or a lot of those folks are not going to be well.

    Break out the party poppers, this shit is done! :V

    ...Ah, right. Orion.

    Almost as menacing as when a battle-damaged Thor utters those words...

    Well, the battle is done, the day is won, and now it's time to tally up the wounds. Which will likely lead off with Orion applying some percussive correction to OL after everything he went through. :oops: And likely a 'Do not contact me again' farewell. Let's just hope Mannheim drained all that excess White Light Energy off with that big finale, though. Could be troublesome if he can still use it later.
     
  19. iamnuff

    iamnuff Connoisseur.

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    He told you that it was gonna suck, dude.
    You said that you could handle it.
     
  20. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    Okay, possible new ally Mannheim and a sane Orion. That's worth the loss of the mask. Mildly surprised that Batman's crummy yellow ring isn't sparking though. I'm not sure where the robot is headed, but I reckon it is to the dangerous laser realm for repairs. Not ready to be hooked back up to the forever team.

    I wonder if Batman is capable of bugging or learning anything from good!Lex before the opportunity vanishes.

    Remember the terrible effects on the Green and the Grey when this all started? I suspect a lot of problems will flare up while the thaumasphere heals.
     
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  21. Stsword

    Stsword Versed in the lewd.

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    It might be premature to mourn the loss just yet.

    Originally there were 12 Medusa Masks, one per emotion like the Comedy and Tragedy mask, but Hayden turned them all into a single faceplate.

    Which indicates that changes of form don't destroy the underlying enchantment.

    For that matter a Raven series had the government researching the mask and thinking that they could recreate it after she destroyed it, which I thought was weird, but whatever.

    And despite Raven destroying the Medusa Mask, Black Lantern Hayden had a working Medusa Mask. Whether you want to chalk that up to being created via a black power ring or writers and editors not keeping track of continuity is up to you.
     
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  22. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    How many other planets purged a full anti life infection?
     
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  23. PepeTheFrog

    PepeTheFrog Not too sore, are you?

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    Am I just colour blind or did Orion lose his red quotation marks/enlightenment?
     
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  24. Bigking321

    Bigking321 Not too sore, are you?

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    Well, the day is won.

    Time to pay for the victory.

    Shrug. Want the ends, want the means.
     
  25. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    Colored quotations with normal text means you're enlightened or the emotion/force is properly integrated in your soul. But colored quotations and text means that you're completely submerged in said emotion/force.

    Whatever Mannseid did to Orion seems to have refocused the anger to the Illustres, and when Dr. Mist used the Medusa Mask it took him out of the enraged state he has been since the Red Power Ring got forged. Or at least that's how I saw it.
     
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  26. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    No, that's correct.
    Thank you, corrected.
     
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  27. RoninSword

    RoninSword Sky God

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    I would have assumed that actual Darkseid could see everything that Mannheim!Darkseid could, which would mean he saw the White Light.
    Otherwise a single Apokoliptian drone livestreaming to his throne room would have been enough to see the final battle there. (I'm aware he once spied through Cyborgs eye)
     
  28. Threadmarks: Do Or Die Time (part 20)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    17th February 2013
    20:47 GMT


    I look around, trying to spot Batman. He's checking fallen Justifiers, marking them on the League's tactical network based on their location and degree of injury. At the edge of the city I can see Superman carrying a zeta terminal towards us, with Red Tornado tagging along to power it. Once that's in place, we can start moving people and relief supplies.

    No Anti-Life nagging at the edges of my consciousness. And if it was unpleasant for me, I dread to imagine what it was like for most people.

    I return my attention to Orion.

    "How are you?"

    I think he's.. frowning.

    "I am trying, very hard, not to be angry."

    I gingerly reach out with my right hand. "That might be easier if you hand that ring over. Red rings are even worse for being infectious than orange rings."

    "I chose this. You told me as much as you knew. You did not lie to me once. That is why I am not tearing your head from your shoulders."

    "I'm sorry. I.. think that Darkseid-Mannheim shadow-thing did something to drive you berserk at the end, but I didn't see-."

    "He cowed my nature with his own. He could do that because I had abandoned my Source-mandated purpose to become a mindless berserker for you."

    "I asked, but I wasn't just asking for me. Without you, everyone on Earth-."

    "I know that. But you do not-." He takes a deep breath in and then lets it out slowly. "You do not understand what turning myself into what he wants me to be cost me."

    "Clearly you feel bad about it. Do you want to explain it to me? Make me feel the same thing? I certainly knew that something like that was possible."

    He looks away for a moment.

    "What did you see, when the white light passed through us all?"

    I shake my head. "Right at the end there? Nothing much. I wasn't interacting with the network." I shrug. "I don't enjoy talking people into doing things, but… I'm ruthless when I think I need to be. I felt the… Doctor Mist's compassion, and the unifying wonder of the… Essence of life itself… And getting you for red-."

    "You'd do it again."

    "Yes. It's not that I don't feel bad, it's that I don't think me feeling bad matters much compared to…"

    I look over to where Alan is checking over the fallen. I'm pleased to see that he's got a healing ray, and that he's remembered that it's still worth checking them over before shooting them with it.

    "Compared to freeing a world from the Anti-Life."

    "What is your.. 'nature', anyway? If it's some sort of New God thing-."

    "I am the essence of the heroic warrior. I keep faith, I fight evil, I-." He looks away for a moment, and I see the Forever People cautiously approaching. "I am not what my Father would have me be. What happened here, what happened to me, is so repugnant to me that I say this to you."

    He tosses the red ring to my feet.

    "If I ever see you again after this day, I will kill you. Vykin, we are leaving."

    Vykin nods, and-

    BOOM!

    -a portal opens, the six of them walking through.

    Yeah. I get it. All that time fighting to keep control while feeling that angry, and then I have him run rampant in full rage mode so he can get a feel for it.

    I reach down and pick up the ring, careful not to touch the inner surface. I'll put it in an equipment pouch for now, and… Maltus later?

    "Orange Lantern to-."

    No.

    "Orange Lantern to Mister Atom. Global status summary."

    "Based on observed organic behavior, your efforts to remove the Anti-Life have been successful. Based on observed organic behavior, that didn't fix things. Have you considered mass cybernetic implantation? They appear to make humans far more rational."

    "I use an empathic weapon. Rationality would be detrimental to my effectiveness."

    "Do you require a comfort break?"

    "What?"

    "You have stopped working. There is a great deal of work to do in order to restore Earth. Do you require assistance defecating?"

    "No, I just needed your confirmation that it had actually worked before I started tidying up here. I assume that you have an outlined reconstruction plan?"

    "No."

    "Huh?"

    "I understand your frustration. Imagine mine. I can not define the problem sufficiently well to solve it. The records required to restore Earth civilisation to its pre-Sheeda state do not exist, and a significant number of the people required are dead. Many models could be used as useful target points, but the most successful economies on Earth have benefited from micro-scale freedom to address demands not readily apparent from the centre. Planning everything myself may be… Actively detrimental."

    "Okay, well, we can eliminate the Anti-Life based technology, then… Have a meeting between Justice League leaders and any surviving heads of governments? President Adams should probably… Be the one to check up on America."

    "He is already en route."

    "Right. I'll get on with things here. Contact me if you specifically need me. Orange Lantern Out."

    I walk over to where Batman is disarming the Justifiers and removing their helmets. I'm not sure what's going through their heads, but from the way they're shrinking back from him I don't think he's getting a positive response.

    "Batman." He doesn't look around, but he draws himself up slightly. "I should probably…"

    "Undo the damage you inflicted on my brain."

    "Yes. Look, I can understand that as you are now you might not want me to. There was a parallel version of me who did something similar. But I really think-."

    He pulls the ring off his finger and slides it into his utility belt.

    "Oh. "

    "I don't want to keep thinking like this. Is your scan of my brain up to date?"

    "Of course, yes."

    "Then get on with it."

    I raise my left hand and play the orange light over his head. It… There hadn't really been any progression, but I can see how it's affecting the patterns of activation in his brain. Remove the toxins, correct the connections…

    Done.

    "Okay, done. How do you feel?"

    He doesn't say anything for a moment, eyes not really focusing on anything.

    Then he turns away and strides towards where Superman has set up the zeta tube.
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2023
  29. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    I think he's already shit the bed enough at this point. :D
     
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  30. Azure Mirage

    Azure Mirage Getting sticky.

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    Welp, having multiple people want you dead is proof positive you are having an effect on the Universe.
     
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