1st October 2010
19:51 GMT -5
I trace my right forefinger up my glass,
transmuting all of the anti-human ingredients within into something more ingestible.
Artemis hasn't touched her cola yet. "Do
I need to worry?"
"Are you asking me to scan you in detail?"
"No, I-. Meant with the drink."
"Assuming that you've been drinking things like that for years, no, but I suggest giving me access to your body so that I can remove any build-up of dangerous materials."
"Giving-? Do you have a
thing where you need to phrase stuff in the
creepiest way possible?"
"I.. could have done it without asking. I mean, I was tempted. Do you know much lead and..
mercury there was in
my body when I started this? And I never lived in a place like Sprang Boulevard. If anything ever happens to the roof? Get out immediately."
"They got lead paint up there?"
"No. Asbestos sheeting. One of my uncles had asbestosis, died years earlier than he should have and struggled with physical activity for years before that because of the damage to his lungs." Hm. "Though there is lead paint throughout the building, there's just not
more of it up there."
"And let me guess: you'll clear it up for another date?"
"Yes. Your determination -and its manifestation in your physique- is the thing I find most attractive about you, but you can't determine through lead poisoning. Though…"
"Yeah?"
"I was sort of hoping that after two dates you'd be prepared to at least give me a
short term commitment without the need for making it a transaction."
"
You wanted-!
Ohkay. Your ring needs avarice to work. You..
want me, but you can't just make asbestos or lead paint disappear until there's something in it for you."
I nod. "That certainly appears to be how it works. There isn't really anyone I can consult."
"What about-?" She checks around as no one listens to us. "Mister Sur?"
"Mister Sur doesn't know anything about orange rings. Green rings don't have that problem. He can't enter Vega without putting his ring aside and the Guardians would want to know why he did that when it's not in his Sector."
"And if I agreed to…
Keep dating you, would that make a difference?"
"If you agree to become mine? Yes."
"You really
do have a thing. Are you gunna ask me to put on a
collar next?"
I frown. "Corinthians seven, verse four. 'The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.' Saint Saul could be surprisingly romantic." … "And I have no strong feelings about collars."
She takes a moment to consider that. "What..?
Else, do you do that's… Different?"
"You know how I keep bringing up things that I… Find disconcerting?"
"One way of putting it."
"And you've seen my research into augmentative techniques. It goes a little further than that. I've stopped myself
decaying."
"You made yourself invulnerable?"
I shake my head. "I don't think
anything is truly invulnerable. Even Superman
can be hurt by sufficient force. No, I mean that for as long as I wear the ring I don't age and -if I
do get injured- I heal immediately."
"So one day I'll be an old woman and you'll look like
this." I look at her, puzzled as to why-. "
Oh. So.. I'd-.
Not get old."
I look at her in puzzlement. "Do you want to?"
"No, I just… It's a bit-. Much, you know?"
"No, you're worth it."
"So-. Okay, this is-. Why..? Why
me, not… Mia? Or M'gann?"
"Mia doesn't want to be involved in superheroing. We still don't really know why Brainiac augmented her and she told me directly that she'd rather give it up and forget about it. You are the child of two supervillains and you
chose this. You didn't have to. You could just have had a-. Okay, not a
normal life, but something close to normal. Instead, you went out and started fighting crime with a bow. Mia's not a
bad person, but you're better. And M'gann's still pretending she looks like a green human."
"She doesn't?"
I frown. "Of
course not. She actually copied
her original 'human' appearance from a pornographic film loosely inspired by Martian Manhunter's older cases."
"Really? 'cause…" She glances at our waitress as she deals with another table's pudding order. The waitress undulates slightly as she turns away, something that Diana's armour doesn't actually allow.
"'Innocent barely legal schoolgirl' requires a different body type."
"
Ew." She frowns. "Based on
Martian Manhunter's cases?"
"Very, very loosely. She kept the shape but expanded her costume to actually cover her body. But she's not determined, she's just optimistic. It's not that she knows what can go wrong but decides to do it anyway, she just decides that nothing can go wrong. Watch out for that, actually. She means well, but her judgement isn't the best. Anyway, that's why. How about you?"
"I'm here for my
Mom."
"If that was it then you wouldn't bother asking questions."
"I agreed to a
date, so…
Date. It's a date conversation."
"You're still considering it." I raise my eyebrows. "Am I wrong?"
"How many guys do you think ask me out?"
Hm. Well, the rejection rate is usually pretty high at that age, she's probably even more prickly with random people than with actual superheroes and she doesn't behave in a feminine manner most of the time…
"Five this year? At least two of which were crude half-efforts?"
"Three. And
all of them were
crude. One guy got handsy last year and I dislocated his shoulder and now I'm 'the psycho'."
"Fortunately, I have more self confidence than a bunch of Gotham protothugs."
"Yeah, insecure, that's-." She grunts and shakes her head. "So… I guess I just wanted to go on a date with
someone. And you're kind of a psycho too but you're not… Not a bad guy."
"I'm willing to work on the psycho thing. I… See things differently to other people, but-. Hey, I haven't shot Streaky since you told me not to."
"Yeah, that-. Puts you ahead. But if you're immortal and you've got a power ring, why do you want to be
more powerful?"
"So I can do more. People like the Flash can do more because they're more powerful than other people. He can check his whole city for crime in a couple of minutes and him stopping an armed robbery is easy. It's not because he's more skilled than, say,
you. Take away his superspeed and
you'd have a good chance of beating him in a fight. Same with Superman, but more so. They'd both still be good men without their powers, but most of their achievements come from having them."
"Huh. And what about Batman?"
"He could do more with powers. Being Batman costs a colossal amount of money in equipment and a lot of time in training and preparation. It's not that he's ineffectual, it's that by reconsidering some parts of his methodology he could be
more effective."
"You use any of that on yourself?"
"Yes. That's why I'm as strong as I am. I don't-. It had side-effects that I'm working through, so I wouldn't recommend that you-."
"No."
"Right. But I
do have weaker side-effect-free augmentics, if you're interested."
"I'll… Think about it." … "
All of it."