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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    Now it looks like Paul wants to go to the Dream first in order to fix his defenses… but we already know Akhlys can reach the Dream gate, and something problematic might be on the other side.

    So is the ascension laboratory used on Hephaestus still set up by the river? Was the spear of destiny put back in its Atlantean vault?

    Oh. Huh. I wonder how Zeus handled the anti-life. Frankly, he might have been kidnapped if it hit him particularly hard. We certainly haven’t heard of him acting as a superhero, and the fact that colleges shut down due to the apocalypse… Some implications there.
     
  2. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    And not just for them.

    It was mentioned that when they entered the universe they destroyed the previous magic system on Earth and took its place.

    If they're corrupted then that's also corrupted.

    Yeah, but not too much, too soon.

    Remember that if she achieves full titanhood then she may no longer be free to operate so easily in the material universe.

    Old Gods are pure magic energy, and any avatar she makes may be weaker than her current self.

    Or armor or a weapon.

    Ohh, he's good at taking people to adopt a different mindset.

    The problem is that it can lead to a lot of destruction.

    See my post above.

    He either trusts her to take care of herself, or thinks that if she's foolish enough to try and date him then she deserves whatever happens to her.

    That would explain the title of the episode.

    They may not like him, but if they talk to him then they know what he's up, so they can either try to stop him or prepare for the worst.
     
  3. Silveraith

    Silveraith Argent Phantasm

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    I'm pretty sure this isn't the OL talking so the quote shouldn't be orange.
     
  4. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
     
  5. Duke Long

    Duke Long Glomerulus

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    ‘place’ or there should be other places listed?
    ‘DON’T’?
    ‘gynoid’s’?
    ’seizes’
    ‘he can roll it’?
    ‘breathes’
    ‘Focus.’?
    ‘frowns at’
    ‘thousand’
    ’rappel’

    Really enjoying the Hell arc and the evil alternate so far.
     
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  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Ah! Been a while since I had one of these.
    Thank you, corrected.
    No, that one is intentional. He quietens slightly as he reaches the 'T'.
     
  7. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Wait... Wasn't Diana still on Earth last we saw?

    Or was that retconned?
     
  8. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I reread the section that mentioned her the other day, I believe it was retconned

    Also: every time I hear about Melinoe my heart grows weary as i remember my OTP is forever sundered.
     
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  9. RoninSword

    RoninSword Sky God

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    Last we heard of Diana, she had been on Earth because she mentioned that Themyscira had just vanished, not been destroyed (we didn't see her on screen, it was mentioned that she wasn't worried about them all being dead). Someone brought this up to Zoat but I don't know if he fixed the issue or not.
     
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  10. Duke Long

    Duke Long Glomerulus

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    ‘just not looking’?
    ‘chest-seams’?
    ‘claws scrabbling’?
    ‘de-asbestosed’?
    How do they do it in the USA?
    ‘asked’
    ‘expressions’
    Damn, did he get through 172 formulae before that? And that’s excluding forms of enhancement that aren’t formulae? I guess this is a comic book world.
    ’to take a look’
    ‘past’
    ‘or died’
    ‘learned’
    ‘then fixes’
    Now there’s a patriot.
    Probably hard-coded. Sivana’s a bit mental but he’s not stupid. And didn’t we see something from Atom’s perspective relating to this? Something about how he couldn’t interface with stuff directly and he can’t modify himself to do it.
    ’let alone’
     
  11. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Thank you, corrected.
    [​IMG]
     
  12. Jiro

    Jiro Getting sticky.

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    No more than a frozen custard seller is excluding melted custard. He sort of is, but he isn't using the qualifier "frozen" to communicate that.
     
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  13. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I wonder how Paul freeman is doing on nazi earth. Was he even told there were other versions of him that could have taken him to a non-nazi world but decided not to/forgot about it?
     
  14. Threadmarks: Starring (part 6)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    About Ten Years Later
    Local Summer
    Morning


    Bastet removes the stopper from the bottle and cautiously sniffs its contents. She appears pleased with what she smells, but goa'uld aren't particularly expressive… Unless they're angry. She glances at a youth in her retinue, and he takes the bottle from her and pours her a small amount into one of the tasting glasses.

    No. He doesn't pour her a small glass. He's her food tester. He observes it for a moment, takes in the clarity and the scent, and then cautiously tastes it.

    "A not-unreasonable precaution, but do you really think it's likely that I'd try something like that?"

    She artfully raises her left eyebrow, her eyes glowing white for a moment.

    "Some of us are Supreme System Lord Ra's loyal vassals."

    It's… Interesting. I can detect the parasite wound around her spine and plugged into her brain, but… While I'm far from being an expert with the orange light, it… Looks like the desires are coming from the human brain and not the far smaller brain in the parasite.

    "I admit, I let my greed get the better of me. But I will work to regain.. a measure of Lord Ra's faith, however long it takes."

    She kept me waiting for three days, not including the time it took for Lord Neper to pass on the fact that a trade treaty with a goa'uld not sworn to Bastet would require her approval. For an egomaniacal parasite, Neper is actually pretty good company, as the source of his power is the food grown on his bountiful planet and he has a genuine interest in improved farming techniques.

    Some of the others have been… Less helpful.

    But if Bastet actually approves this trade treaty, that's her whole sub-empire. And she can put me in touch with Kali, who rules an equivalent area. And their capitals are the only places with any non-'magical' industry at all, and that's what I desperately need to copy.

    The weird voice thing takes some getting used to.

    "If Supreme System Lord Ra did not kill you, then it must be because he did not want you dead. I would not question his wisdom, though if you had been my tithe-gatherer I would not have been so generous."

    I fan open my arms as her food tester nods to her before moving on to the fruit.

    "I freely admit to deserving what he did to me. I acted against him without provocation. He honoured me and I spat in his face. It was a most humbling lesson, and one which I will never need repeated."

    "So now you have made a new life for yourself… As a merchant."

    "I can hardly expect our fellow gods to believe that I've learned my lesson if I'm not prepared to humble myself, can I?"

    I've also learned that the jaffa are humans with underdeveloped parasites implanted in a synthetic pouch in their abdomen. Bastet appears to use their women exclusively as her soldiers, though their menfolk have the same modification. I'm not sure what the reason for using female soldiers is; much like unaugmented humans they're weaker and more fragile than their male counterparts. I suppose that it's probably a question of style. And perhaps their parasite allows them to remain fertile for proportionally longer so that their birth rate isn't too badly harmed?

    I wait patiently as Bastet and her food taster slowly work their way around my samples. Her bodyguards remain assiduously po-faced, and the other members of her retinue either hover around awaiting their mistress's pleasure or perform their designated tasks. My own retinue are either back in the suite I was granted for my stay or just outside; my status as a petitioner is entirely too low for me to be allowed to have anyone in here, but she didn't actually expect me to set up the display myself.

    Eventually she waves her servers off, lounging more languidly on her chaise longue.

    "Your meagre wares are of adequate quality."

    I nod and smile. "I am working from a low starting point. It will improve in time."

    "I have no need of anything that you have myself, but I will grant you a warrant to trade amongst my inferiors."

    "You are most generous. I will not disappoint you, and perhaps in time-."

    A functionary almost bursts into the room, hurrying into Bastet's presence. She glares at him, but he just ducks his head and keeps coming. One of her bodyguards opens the odd claw weapon covering her right hand, but the man just bows to his goddess, walks right up to her-

    Eavesdrop.

    -and whispers-

    "Ra is dead."

    -to her. Her eyes widen for a moment, her entire body tensing. I'm too low down the 'god' totem pole to have any direct contact with the Supreme System Lord, but… The goa'uld don't have children. Between switching hosts and their healing technologies, they aim to live on indefinitely. Valued subordinates are about as close as they get, and while I've heard of a few who might try and keep Ra's holdings together… They're not the Supreme System Lord. Like him or hate him, he kept their civilisation more or less together as a unified whole.

    If he's actually dead. Faking his death to see what happens doesn't sound like something someone as concerned for appearances as most goa'uld would do. But maybe he's cut from a different cloth?

    Either way, there shouldn't be any impact on my own planet. We don’t have any strategic resources or military power to be worth fighting. At worst I'll have to deal with different goa'uld flying up to the planet, demanding that I swear allegiance and then flying away again. While in theory I could use that as an opportunity to acquire ships for myself -I've mocked up a capital ship-style shield and breaking through it with a power ring isn't that difficult- that would probably just make me a target unless I have somewhere to hide them.

    Bastet's eyes move to me as her face returns to Resting Smug.

    "A matter requires my attention. My seneschal will see you later to inform you of the terms of your warrant of trade."

    I bow to just above the right angle. "I shall look forward to it."

    I remain bowed until she makes a dismissive hand motion, and then I turn and stride towards the exit. A couple of male jaffa pull the doors open at my approach, and close it definitively once I'm through. My assistants fall in behind me as I stride back towards my suite.

    Techno-primitivism is such a pain. Goa'uld electronic systems are easy to get into by power ring, but because they're 'magic' most people use spoken or written words instead. Those are far harder to access without being extremely obvious about it, and I can't afford to make any goa'uld angry with me in particular.

    Still…

    Ring. Passive monitoring.

    …certain?

    She's using that room's communication system. That room's communication system with its nicely monitorable electromagnetic transmissions.

    Ra's ship was overdue to return. Heru'ur dispatched a ship to investigate and began assembling his fleet the moment it returned. I will send a cloaked ship to confirm for myself, but I felt that notifying you should take priority.

    No constant grovelling? That's either a human spy that's very close to her, or a lesser goa'uld.

    Send the ship. Discover what happened and who did it. And keep watching Heru'ur.

    As you command.

    I cause the doors to my suite to open, causing the helmeted jaffa standing guard to start very slightly. I don't look at them as I walk past.

    "Pack up, everyone. I want to leave the moment the warrant is in my hand. Things are about to become turbulent."
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2024
  15. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    Probably the same reason they use staff weapons instead of more practical weaponry.

    It's stylistic.

    Once you reach a certain level of advancement, physical ability doesn't matter all that much.

    You don't need to be strong to point the guns on a spaceship and press a button to shoot them.

    Well they do, but they just don't give a shit about them.

    Unless they're feeling hungry.
     
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  16. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Awww. You nerfed Goa'uld computer systems.

    That's no fun.
     
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  17. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    And back to Stargate Paul, posing as the System Lord Mammon reborn ( ;) I am not going to call him 'Mammaul'.) Bit of a time jump, but with a fully active Orange Ring, he's not doubt in fine shape. And is taking his first steps out into the galaxy, by the looks of this diplomacy.

    Nice trick, amplifying and resonating his voice to produce the characteristic Goa'uld modulation.

    Nice trick, but Mammon has better ones.

    Well, the parasite could be using the human brain as additional processing.

    Ah, the hierarchy of diplomacy. Agents of agents until you reach a level high enough to make decisions.

    Mostly just the theatre of power. After all, their slaves must see them as gods to fear them properly. But for technology more advanced than medieval, it's a game he has to play...

    So, can Goa'uld leave a dying host in favour of a healthy one? That's about the only way I assume they would take his claims to be a reborn Mammon seriously...

    Better not to try for the old job of tax collector, after all. Don't want to piss them off until you can defend yourself.

    More likely a matter of style. Don't Jaffa get a modest amount of physical augmentation from the hosting process? If her Bast warriors are still stronger than a human, does it matter if they're weaker than male Jaffa?

    Presumably keeping the Ring very well hidden, I bet. The ultimate ace in the hole.

    No doubt they're actually of excellent quality, but she doesn't want him to think he can gain any advantage...

    Well, that was easy. Which means something's going to go wrong any moment.

    That'll be the shoe dropping. and with the air of a man deeply concerned that his next words may cost him his life, yet they must be said...

    Ah. That gives us a solid-ish date, then. Assuming the movie opens on the day of its release date, it's early November, 1994. Allowing time for the word to spread.

    Which means his death with no named heir throws the whole system into a freefall. Every god for themself.

    Amusing idea, but sadly unlikely.

    Keeping your head down. Probably the best option when you're the only strategic-scale asset you have.

    Meanwhile, she's [Internally Screaming] in panic.

    Well, out of the lion's den. Now to make it safely out of the savannah.

    Aw, no raiding systems for information so easily. Well, at least amongst the Goa'uld.

    Lucky you. A chance to find out what's going on in the greater galaxy...

    And since goa'uld don't play nicely even if they like a superior, it's probably a human or Jaffa.

    See? Watching even her nominal ally very carefully.

    You have no idea...

    Well, the cat is among the pigeons now, and the galaxy is in for a rough time. If this is TV continuity, the Stargate Program is going to be stood down until 1995, when they begin their first exploratory missions after a Goa'uld attack. The question is, what will happen in the meantime, and how well will Mammon's world be able to stay out of it until he can defend it?
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2024
  18. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Technically in a world without the infinite ammo clips of a tv production, Staff Weapons are likely more practical then P90s.

    And well, since a long acceleration chamber is required for the weapons to work. The shape is actually understandable.
     
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  19. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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    Not really since the staffs have a pretty low RoF and are generally presented as being inferior as weapon to fire arms. The military kit of the system lords is geared to over awe and intimidate primitives.
     
  20. WereDragon

    WereDragon Bookwyrm

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    So this Paul is massively sandbagging, which is particularly odd given his stated reasons for hating Nabu. And it is likely about to become SG-1’s show with Paul as an extra.

    Nice to see a story at least acknowledge that non-System Lord goa’uld exist though. Too rare that.
     
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  21. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    The rate of fire of a staff weapon is dependant on how strong the wielder wants the shot to be.

    And no, the military kit of the System Lords is geared towards effectiveness and longevity.

    Because it takes multiple hits from a P90 firing an unknown type of armor piercing rounds to punch through a Jaffa's armor. But it only takes a single hit from a staff blast to do the same.

    And Staff weapons don't run out of Ammo.

    Fact is, without hollywood infinite ammo guns SG1 would have been dead a hundred times over on the situations shown.
     
  22. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Oh no, he's not a System Lord. System Lord is an informal rank, and they're way more powerful than he is. You don't call yourself a System Lord when all you have is one zero-industry planet unless you want an actual System Lord to explain to you that you're not.
    It's worse than that. Kawalsky had his goa'uld chirurgically removed and destroyed, and it still controlled him.
    Yes. At this point it would be expected that he'd done that.
    Not entirely true. Nerus and Ptah were happy to work under their patrons while they persued their own projects.
    Corrected.
     
  23. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    I agree a bit on the sandbagging, I'm not familiar with Stargate lore in general, but I don't think there are many things in the setting that could pose a threat to a capable Lantern. Problem is that we don't know how capable this SI is, we don't know if he's been practicing his Lantern skills nor do I think he's been in any combat.

    However, while I would assume he may have a general dislike for the parasites currently in charge and puppeting these bodies, he hated Nabu specifically because he had a personal connection with the people affected, not because of a particular personal hatred against body-snatchers.
     
  24. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

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    All capital ships have the power output to kill him if he tries to tank the shots, there are also matter disassembler beams and implosion devises that should kill him in one shot.

    Ascended beings could probably also kill him.

    Remember Grayven almost died to a human briefcase nuke of a few kilotons and this Paul is far less durable, so if you catch him by surprise with any of the aforementioned weapons you can probably kill him...

    Edit: And I mean by surprise but with his shielding still on, without his shield a dude with a bow can kill him.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2024
  25. Jiro

    Jiro Getting sticky.

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    I think this is Early Installment Weirdness. That doesn't happen later in the series, and there was even a Baal who had his Goa'uld removed after 2000 years.
     
  26. ForeverShogo

    ForeverShogo Not too sore, are you?

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    I'd also assume that even with the ability to defeat Goa'uld ships, an actual fleet could probably still bombard the settlements on the world he's taken under his wing before he got them all.
     
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  27. Oglymogly

    Oglymogly I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I assume they learned a effective removal method from their allies by then. There obviously is a correct way to do it, as we see it done, but it probably starts by preventing the parasite from overwriting the brain,

    Also, I really like the "uses hosts brainpower" as a explination, as it provides a reason why they prefer to rejuvenate a host over taking a new one. There is likely some memory loss or some resetting costs that's best avoided.

    Very happy to see more of False God! Paul.

    Edit: and super super excited to see Jack's reaction to a real Power Ring.
     
  28. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Yeah, but Baal was removed with a Tok'Ra machine specifically developed for removing goa'uld.
    That's the issue. A Ha'tak might be able to kill him in one hit, but it would be almost incapable of hitting him. Death Gliders could, though it would be difficult, and their weapons would batter down his constructs eventually. He'd probably want to get on board the ship and critically damage the generator rather than faff about outside.
     
  29. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    No, he had it mostly removed.

    They couldn't remove certain bits without killing him, and those regenerated.


    There's also psychic powers and nano-tech that ignores what he thinks should be the rules of nano-tech.
     
  30. Jiro

    Jiro Getting sticky.

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    If there's any method that works after 2000 years, then the parasite overwriting the brain can't be a real thing. Otherwise 2000 years would be plenty of time for the parasite to do it and once it has done so, even the Tok'ra method would be too late.
     
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