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With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

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  1. Duke Long

    Duke Long Glomerulus

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    I might well be failing to understand here, but I think that the current ‘I'd struggle to deny that this isn't better.’
    translates into ‘I’d struggle to deny that this is worse.’
    which means he’s currently saying that having hope isn’t superior, I think.
     
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  2. Zig

    Zig Not too sore, are you?

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    Hmm 780 words. Is this the shortest update Zoat has ever posted?
     
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  3. webxro

    webxro Benevolent Bystander

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    I wonder, will this much Hope in the Dream influence other stuff in any way ? Will big dude dream get around and ask them to gtfo from his front lawn ?
     
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  4. Huttj509

    Huttj509 Getting sticky.

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    I concur with Duke Long, you got a triple negative thing going on with both struggle and deny and isn't.
     
  5. NightmareWarden

    NightmareWarden Versed in the lewd.

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    If Paul is getting a video game or game series, then Alan deserves a theatrical production. Two, in fact! One for his life, and one for the message he is spreading today- the better world he is breathing life into.

    Or at least an album. I get his radio work was closer to reporting than a radio music station, but who doesn’t love music?
     
  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No. Most of the posts from the first episode are shorter than that.

    Shortest for a while, though.
    Okay, yes, I think you're right. Corrected.
     
  7. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I like to think that Paul made sure that his video game team were appropriately protected when the anti-life went off, so we might finally get that payoff now that's its been about two years, which is when Zoat promised we'd get a resolution....
     
  8. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No.

    He took no special action to protect them. There is no such thing as 'appropriately protected' from the Anti-Life. If by some miracle they kept working rather than doing the eminently sensible thing of running and hiding he'd be astonished.
     
  9. Ardy

    Ardy I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    So you lied to us about getting resolution about them?????
     
  10. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    No, there will be a resolution. It just won't be 'they were fine, the game is great and game of the year'.
     
  11. Threadmarks: Starring (part 13)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    About a month later
    Afternoon


    Judge Todos maintains a serious and focused demeanour as he finishes summarising the case. The defendant cleared an area of scrubland and planted it, but it turned out that it was already owned by someone else. Todos brought it to me because the existing law would have at best had the defendant paid as a labourer for his time and the crop awarded to the landowner, and he and the defendant thought that unfair. The plaintiff on the other hand thought that he was getting a windfall and started looking extremely uncomfortable at having me hear it.

    I nod. "Thank you, Judge Todos. You, Yakub." I point at the defendant with my right hand. "Did you make any effort to discover if the land had an owner?"

    He bows awkwardly, clearly not sure of the protocol. "I… It hadn't been worked in my lifetime, divine one. I asked around the village-" He shakes his head. "-and everyone thought that it hadn't been owned since Old Habil died."

    I raise my eyebrows. "Productive land taken out of use?"

    "We farm orrocks, divine one. We could grow feedstock I suppose, but the orrocks need a lot of water. We aren't a big village, and it was easier to clear land along the river bank than move them back and forth from pasture to water. But I thought I could use it for planting."

    I nod, pointing at the plaintiff. "You, Danyal. Why did you not claim your great uncle's land sooner?"

    He shrugs awkwardly. "I'm… Just one man, divine one. I already have a farm, and much work to do on it. My second son is only just old enough to consider starting his own farm, and we knew that the whole family would need to help for the first year. I don't have time to walk to another village just to see it, so we waited until the year's work was done on my farm before travelling. When we arrived and found someone else had taken it…"

    Village records are clear about who owns the land, and family records mean that it's very likely that Old Habil is indeed his great uncle. Syrania doesn't use surnames, and that's something that I'm going to try introducing at some point. Habil isn't exactly an uncommon name.

    I nod. "Very well. Clearly, no party acted maliciously, but I feel that a labourer's wages would be insufficient compensation." Danyal winces. Honestly, a years' wages for a labourer to be paid out in one go would be more cash than he'd have on hand anyway. "I rule that the entire crop is awarded to Yakub, who will pay Danyal rent for the period of occupancy."

    Danyal looks a little relieved, but Yakub looks unhappy. "Divine one, I can't afford that."

    "I will buy your produce. Speak to my seneschal and an inspector will travel with you to assess its value." He sags slightly in relief. "Are either of you unsatisfied with my ruling?"

    "No, divine one." / "No, divine one."

    "Yakub, since you are clearly a hard-working and driven young man, I would recommend that you apply for a farm in the new settlements."

    He nod-bows. "Thank you, divine one. I will do so."

    "Then you are dismissed. Judge Todos, please enter this ruling into the canon of law for distribution amongst your peers."

    He bows. "Yes, divine one. Thank you for your judgement."

    "Thank you for bringing this to me. Go in peace."

    Todos shepherds the others out, Danyal and Yakub exchanging a few muttered words.

    Holding court is a great way of managing disputing power groups, because it lets you play them against each other while still sounding completely reasonable. Letting everyone in the country petition you, on the other hand, is a stupid way to run a country. You'd never hear them all, you'd never get anything else done and if you've got any sense then you'd set up levels of officials for handling the things that most of them would be about anyway and if you build in a bypass everyone who doesn't get their way will use it. But I decided that hearing a few petitions a month might be a useful way to keep in touch with what was bothering people. And then I found out that while Mammon did originally implement a justice system, how it works from place to place could vary a lot. A few judges were even a bit dubious about the idea of binding precedent, which was reasonable when records couldn't be effectively shared across the settled territory and standardising precedence wasn't possible.

    Of course, not all petitions have the same weight.

    My eyes unfocus for a moment.

    "Well, I haven't seen your dolly before today, but based on the description you gave me I think that it's in the gutter just above your room. And those girls were very naughty, and I'm going to ask your village watchman to have a word with their parents."

    Kasrin sort of sways back and forth as her childish shyness overcomes her. Finding a lost doll for a six year old girl is the sort of thing I like to end on. The court recorders smile, and the people who read the published records will as well. When I had the brilliant idea of introducing moveable type and printing presses, I had the issue that there wasn't really any demand for it. Mammon hadn't exactly been demanding in his religious observances and he certainly didn't bother with a holy book, with the predictable result that literacy is uncommon. Newspapers didn't appear spontaneously because hardly anyone could read them and most people prefer to advertise through sponsorship. Reports of my ruling and judgements on the other hand have become quite popular.

    Kasrin's mother awkwardly approaches her daughter. "And what do you say?"

    Her daughter wiggles for a moment.

    "Are you really a god?"

    I hear the hiss from her mother, but I wave my right hand to tell her not to worry. And then I make pointed eye contact with Second Prime Abrax, who loosens his grip on his Ma'toc staff.

    "Why do you ask?"

    "My teacher says you're a snakehead."

    "Your teacher?" She nods. "That would be…" Oh, seriously, Stargate Command. Already? "Missus Duxley?"

    Kasrin nods lopsidedly, watching my in an odd half-interested sort of way.

    "Well, I'm going to pick up Missus Duxley and bring her here, and then we can talk about it. Okay?"

    Kasrin nods again and I plot a route and transition to next to Missus Duxley, who is marking some sort of test. "Seriously?"

    She starts, sitting upright in her chair. "Lord Mammon? I-."

    "'Snakehead'? Seriously?"

    "Ah-."

    I step forward and put my right hand on her left shoulder before returning us both to the audience chamber and releasing her next to her student before retaking my seat.

    "Kasrin?" The girl… I think that she's starting to realise that she might have done something wrong. "You haven't done anything wrong, but that's a very important question you asked, and I want to make sure that I answer it properly. Do you understand?"

    No, she's… Gone back into shy mode, clasped onto and half-hiding behind her mother's left leg. But I still need to have an answer, if only for the people who will read this tomorrow expecting light entertainment and who instead get hit right in the theology.

    "Missus Duxley?"

    "I… Don't think-."

    "In future, comparative theology is for the over fourteens, alright?"

    "I think she overheard me say something. I wouldn't have.. started that conversation."

    "Wouldn't you? I've seen American intelligence agents do some very stupid things before. Poisoned shaving foam?"

    "No, my.. job.. is just.. to teach."

    "Well, I'm afraid that as a result of your loose lips you're going to be doing a public theology discussion with someone four thousand years old in front of his worshippers. And in all likelihood it's going to become a holy text. And I will be sending a sharply-worded letter to General Hammond, but I think that's punishment enough. So let's start with history."
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2024
  12. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    I hope they will try something like this again, just to see Mammon show them how short-sighted they are.
     
  13. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I don't think he'd have cared about what people were doing as long as they paid their taxes.

    Now what is this about.

    When he mentioned stupid things done by American Intelligence agents my mind jumped straight to a scenario that was straight out of Scooby Doo.
     
  14. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    They tried to kill Fidel Castro like that.
     
  15. PepeTheFrog

    PepeTheFrog Not too sore, are you?

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    Cat Spy Collars. The cats never picked up on anything because they all either ran away or got run over.
     
  16. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

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    Ooh, that's a tricky thing to have to work out. It's not quite two women arguing over a child they both claim to have borne, but it's a lot more common. The described typical resolution might put some people's backs up, though.

    So, acting on the best information he could, he claimed and planted it.

    Makes sense. Aurochs are just bigger cows, and driving them can be tricky. Imagine the mayhem if one took fright during the short hop and triggered a stampede...

    So, he was hoping to use an inheritance to set his son up for a good life. Quite reasonable.

    But there's still the matter of where that money will come from. I doubt the crop would be that profitable...

    Well, it's better than they feared, and probably better than they hoped for too. And presumably, any future arguments over the land can be settled by letting Danval's second son take over.

    Handy. Not only does he get a shot at getting a larger property on the frontier, it'll make sure he's not around to cause trouble for the other fellow.

    Building up a decent canon of precedents and previous rulings, eh? Smart, especially if he's going to distribute it.

    As long as they're not angry words, that's fine. After all, they have to sort out the deal.

    Such is the tricky part of managing a bronze-age culture's legal system. Or at least a pre-industrial one.

    Heh. A nice bit of fluff for a breather.

    But with the younger generation likely to be literate and educated, there's going to be both a market and consumers for all forms of literature... Perhaps some imports from Earth might be in order.

    Somehow, I don't think it's going to be what Mommy hopes she'll say...

    And there's good reason for that fear, given that any other Goa'uld would probably have the girl killed for such 'blasphemy'...

    Ooh, a slang term for goa'uld hosts? And not entirely inaccurate in Paulmon's case. It's just that his snake isn't meat, but light.

    Likely because she's not aware that could be a bad thing to say to a supposed god.

    Not doubt leaving the girl with a bit of cooing awe.

    Someone needs to make sure what they're teaching is appropriate for their students...

    Hopefully he didn't try too hard not to make her queasy. :p

    And no doubt make for interesting reading for Bastet, whose spies will be wasting no time in passing on whatever he explains.

    Heh. Most of whom probably won't care, because they've discovered that the opposite sex are a lot more interesting than they used to be...

    There's been weirder things done by both Americans and other services... :confused:

    Talk about putting your foot in your mouth...

    Somehow, I foresee that being a very interesting lesson to hear, though we might well not see all of it. Ironic timing, given what just happened on the main plot, after all. Still, Paulmon is going to have to be very careful about how he puts whatever he's about to discuss, if only to avoid ruffling the feathers of certain people who will no doubt get to hear about it very swiftly.
     
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  17. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    ... or at least the government hasn't admitted that the cats picked up anything. Of course, it's unlikely that they got much actionable intelligence, but they might have accidentally gotten blackmail on random people that the CIA hasn't told the public about. Other intelligence agencies have done stupid things (e.g. telling a compromised agent to send the all-clear code next time), but we don't hear about them as often.
     
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  18. Cuchulin

    Cuchulin Versed in the lewd.

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  19. Z000

    Z000 If this is trash, then find me in the dumpster

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    i don't get what going, what did the Earth teacher do that got Paul to go get her ?
     
  20. Ngamer11

    Ngamer11 Experienced.

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    She's trying to sow doubt into the population starting with the youth in order to make it easier for Earth to eventually conquer the world, or at least make it easier for them to do whatever they want with the planet in the midst of the chaos it could start.
     
  21. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

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    Only people who knows they are in the wrong fear the truth.
     
  22. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

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    I wouldn't describe her actions as being that extreme, but yeah, it's the same general path, just a lighter shade.

    And she may not have been trying to sow doubt that he's a god.

    It is possible that the girl accidentally overheard her and she either didn't notice it or didn't think it was that important since she probably didn't think the girl was going to end up meeting Mammon.
     
  23. Bigking321

    Bigking321 Not too sore, are you?

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    This Paul is currently masquerading as a alien overlord from a race that pretends they are Gods to their subjects. The Goa'uld.

    He made a deal with the people on earth for teachers. This teacher, either on purpose or accidentally, let slip in front of a kid that he's a snake like alien parasite or "snakehead".

    He's not. He's only pretending to be. But it undermines his position since he is trying to fit in with the other alien overlords.

    If he were a actual Goa'uld the teacher would be killed for the insult but he's being a bit more mellow about it.
     
  24. Rogos

    Rogos Getting sticky.

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    We need more Paulmon interacting with small children, it's hilarious !
     
  25. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    From the context, and I might have read it wrong, she was talking pejoratively about him; maybe on her own, maybe with her colleagues, maybe to the students, I don't know. But she did it where a student, and maybe more than just the little girl, could hear her.

    Now, from what I recall, Paulmon understood that they would send spies among the teachers he requested, but talking disparagingly about him to impressionable ears seems a bit... undermining, to me.

    Edit: Ninja'ed there.
     
  26. RichardWhereat

    RichardWhereat Aia airëa Fëanáro.

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    How the hell are the americans even defining God? As their christians would? That'd be an extremely easy one to overturn. I always felt that Stargate fucked up there, but it's unsurprising given that even in supernatural shows with multiple pantheons they have the philosophy "All gods are real, but Christian god is most real."
     
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  27. Z000

    Z000 If this is trash, then find me in the dumpster

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    ah okay, so her job is to teach but if she teaching bad or wrong thing for nefarious reason then Fake-God Paul will be having words
     
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  28. GigaVanguard

    GigaVanguard Know what you're doing yet?

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    I realized after a second glance at your comment that Paulmon was just a mash-up of Paul and Mammon, but for a brief, glorious moment, I thought you were referring to the various Elsepauls as Paulmon. Gotta catch ‘em all!
     
  29. Lord Ernest

    Lord Ernest At the End...

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    I mean, I don't blame the show more than I blame US sensitivities back then. From what I recall, sometimes TV shows couldn't even mention the Christian god. I believe it's better now, with Christian mythology being more fair game for exploration and mockery; but religious groups still try to boycott shows that do so, I remember reading something to that effect about Good Omens for example.
     
  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

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    Ah, yes: Thor, Prince of Thunder.
     
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