A Rough Dispatch

[Davos]

Robert Robertson gets his cup of coffee and sits at his desk, refreshed from a week off after the destruction caused by Shroud and the Red Ring.

"Good morning Z Team, I hope your week off was great, but let's get down to it, and Sonar, I know you are technically on probation after helping destroy half the city but I still expect you to do your best."

"Understood Bobby Boy, and I just want to say, I appreciate this opportunity after everything."

"Good to have you back Sonar." Malevola says.

"Indeed…Most of the rubble was cleared away but there will probably be a lot of requests for moving supplies and helping clear some rubble."

"Ready." Golem says.

"Not sure how much I can break with me fists, but I'm willing to find out." Punch Up says.

"Wait, does that mean I'll be asked to burn stuff down?" Flambaé asks.

"Maybe."

"…This is surreal."

"Indeed." Robert says, suddenly feeling uneasy.

Coupe's distress signal starts.

"God damn it…Wait, she's still in the building."

After a bit of clicking, Robert sees her hand and ankle handcuffed to a squat rack in the gym.

Sonar starts giggling.

"Oh my God…"

"…Not a word…" Coupe says.

"What happened?" Punch Up asks.

"Coupe is handcuffed to a squat rack."

"How? Don't you have those pins for picking locks?"

"Not now unfortunately." Coupe says.

"But you always keep some in your bra!" Punch Up says, making Coupe cup her head as Sonar continues giggling.

"Really Sonar? Not even an hour and you already did an HR violation." Robert says, getting snorted chuckles from Invisigal.

"…I feel like I'm missing something here." Sonar says.

"Robert did two HR violations in the week you were gone." Prism says.

"And two more on that week off during the aptly named hump day." Invisigal says.

"Visi!"

"Damn…didn't know you hustled like that. Though I never thought Prism and you would go for each other."

"Ex-fucking-scuse me?" Prism says.

"I'm not insulting your man." Sonar says.

"It wasn't Prism." Malevola says, making Sonar groan.

"Damn…Dick move going after her after cutting me, but I respect that you actually seduced her."

"Not me either."

"Then who?"

"Blazer." Invisigal says, making Robert cup his head as Sonar gasps.

"How long was I gone?"

"Less than a week."

"Teach me your ways Robert Robertson!"

"I'm not teaching you anything!"

"You made love to two women in a week and won't help a bro out? For shame."

"A bit soon calling me a bro when you wanted to choke me with a tie."

"I'm trying to make amends man!"

"He made love to another that week." Phenomaman says, making Robert rub his temples.

"Three?!" Sonar asks.

"Who's the third?" Invisigal asks.

"Me." Phenomaman says and the line goes quiet.

"Damn Roberto, you a super ho." Prism says.

"How the **** did you get with ******* Phenomaman? I know you're tough, but no one is that wait…were you the big spoon?" Flambaé asks.

"Oh my God…"

"Can you get a locksmith down here?...Or at least get me some pins I can use?" Coupe asks.

Waterboy comes onto the line.

"Sorry I'm late! Traffic was n-nightmare…what'd I miss?"

"Not much Waterboy...and before you get any ideas, that is what Phenomaman calls a hug."

"Bull****!" Flambaé says

"Why would I make a lie like that?"

"…"

"Well?"

"I'm thinking."

"You can think in the air. Got a call for someone needing to get their cat out of a tree."

"You're sending me after dropping this bomb?!"

"Coupe is handcuffed, and Sonar will scare the kid in his other form."

"It's true. Kids tend to run or faint when they see me. Main reason I never did daycare scams." Sonar says.

"This is bull****." Flambaé says before taking off.

"…How the Hell did you handcuff Coupe without her stabbing you?" Punch Up asks.

"Because-"

"Sonar no!" Coupe shouts.

"I seduced Coupe!"

"You gave him a shot?" Invisigal asks.

"…I am starting to regret it…"

"You weren't regretting it last week." Sonar says.

The sound of Coupe banging her head against the squat rack is heard on the channel.

Punch Up leaves the channel.

"Oh hey Punch Up, why are you- AHH!"

Sonar's icon changes to show he is hurt now.

Robert cups his head.

Punch Up's icon soon changes to show he is also hurt.

Invisigal starts laughing.

Coupe even starts chuckling.

"W-what is going on?" Waterboy asks.

"It might be better you don't know." Malevola says as Robert stands up and walks over to the floor Sonar is on. Once there he is not surprised when he sees Sonar on his side clutching his crotch.

Robert however is surprised when he sees Punch Up on his side, clutching his own crotch.

"…What happened?"

"I punched Sonar for doing that to Coupe…then when I asked him why, he said Coupe did it first. I was going to punch him again until I recalled Coupe did handcuff him first. Then he told me they are seeing each other consensually and proved it with pictures on his phone." Punch Up says while standing back up.

Robert looks at Sonar.

"It's true…I took her out to dinner last week after we talked about books for awhile…even after all this, still worth it." Sonar squeaks out from the floor.

"…So after hearing that, you punched yourself in the dick to make up for it?" Robert asks.

"It was the only proper thing to do lad…though since I am sturdier, maybe I should hit myself again?"

"Please don't…This is going to be a long shift…Waterboy, can you come up here and help Sonar?"

"Sure!"

"What's Waterboy going to-"

Projectile water hits Sonar in the face.

After an initial moment of disgust, he stands up, shocked that he is not in pain anymore.

"…Was this how you guys kept going during that attack?"

"Yeah, lad's been a life saver." Punch Up says as Coupe walks down the hall towards them.

She knees Sonar in the crotch, sending him back to the floor.

"…Still worth it…"

Waterboy vomits on Sonar again.

"Oh God, there's melon…!"

"S-sorry, some of my breakfast came up with it…"

"Don't apologize Waterboy, Sonar bought this on himself."

"…Any advice Robert?"

"Don't piss off the ex-assassin."

"Any advice for that though?"

"I don't know…I'm still shocked you got her to say yes."

"Aside from our shared interests, I think she may have a soft spot for people she tried to kill." Sonar says, making Punch Up and Robert look at him flatly. Then Punch Up's eyes widen.

"…Shite I think he's right. Coupe stabbed me when we first met." Punch Up says.

"I'm sure you can figure this out." Robert says and goes back to his desk.

He makes sure to pair Coupe and Sonar for a call.

Sonar got hurt again.

And somehow he still managed to set up a date that night.