A Sociopath on this World. [Class of 09 x Konosuba]

[Davos]

"So you made the world in seven days?" Nicole asks, rubbing her neck while the blue haired girl sighs in the odd room.

"I am so tired of everyone asking me that. I am definitely gonna get Pyra back for this…No, the story is a lot longer and duller than that."

"Ok…Who's Pyra?"

"The Goddess who usually oversees the passing souls in America; I normally oversee Japan, but she got herself sick…somehow…and because I'm behind on my quota, they're making me cover for her…" Aqua mutters.

"Guess the rope worked; should have tried that sooner instead of the expired drugs." Nicole says, making the blue haired girl pause.

"…Normally I would try to talk you into reincarnating, but I'm not sure you want to go to that world."

"Why not?" Nicole asks while reaching for her phone out of habit, only grabbing air.

"It's under threat by the Demon King and-"

"Oh God, I'm not dead, I'm having a trip and it's based on one of Jeffery's stupid anime…This is such bullshit!"

"No, you're actually dead." Aqua says before showing Nicole the scroll with her body hanging in her room.

"Oh, sweet!" Nicole says, making Aqua look at her.

"And I thought Japan was suicidal…" Aqua says while looking to the side.

"Screw you; you have any idea what it's like being nice all the time?"

"I'm a Goddess! You can't just say 'screw you' to me!"

"What are you gonna do, kill me? I'm already going to Hell."

"You're not going to Hell."

"Isn't suicide a-"

"Again, long story, and I am not in the mood to talk to a suicidal brat. But in your case you can either go to Heaven and sleep on clouds and listen to hymn music and talk to your loved ones when they-"

"Fuck no, that's Hell!"

"Your dad is there." Aqua says.

"Fuck him."

"…I still think it's better than going to the other world. It's comparable to medieval times on Earth but all the mystical stuff is real and will kill you."

"So my choices are either go to Heaven and wish I could die, or go to another world and get killed while dealing with all the issues from my world dialed up to eleven along with monsters before heading to Heaven…Are you the Goddess of shitty deals?" Nicole asks, making Aqua's brow twitch.

"…You wouldn't be there to live out your life but to save the world from the Demon King. Completing that will grant you one wish. You would also get to pick any one skill or object to aid you in your journey." Aqua says.

"So I would get to kill a guy with magical powers?"

"Basically."

"Are there any limits?" Nicole asks.

"Limits?"

"Like, do I have to be nice to people?"

'…You have any idea how concerning it is to hear that question?"

"Don't care." Nicole says and Aqua rubs her temple.

"Technically no…but- hm?" Aqua looks over and the scroll changes, someone else is in the room.

"Ugh, is it my mo-"

"Nicole!?"

"Jecka?!"

"Sorry, I'll turn this-" Aqua starts to say while reaching for the scroll.

"Keep it rolling." Nicole says, making Aqua look at her.

"Oh God Nicole, I'm so, so sorry…" Jecka says before crying and half saying she should have been there.

"…You said I could take anything right?" Nicole asks.

"…Yes?"

"I want her."

"What?! No! I might be behind on my quota but that is against the-" Aqua stops when a light blinds them and a blonde girl is standing in the room, tears down her face.

"What…the fuck?" Jecka says as Aqua looks on in shock. Jecka looks behind her and sees Nicole.

"Nicole?"

"Yeah, it's me." Nicole says while looking away. She nearly falls over when Jecka hugs her.

"Why the fuck didn't you talk to me instead of doing that!?"

"Because you were busy screwing the History teacher for an A!"

"I wasn't screwing him! He took me to fucking Olive Garden and called it fancy!"

"What a cheap asshole!"

"Right?!"

"…Americans…" Aqua mutters.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Aqua, Goddess of-"

"She's a sexualized Charon who's behind on quotas and giving out magical powers to dead people who want to live out a power fantasy to clean up a problem they can't handle." Nicole says making Aqua stand up, fists clenched and tears in her eyes.

"Do NOT compare me to that glorified fisherman!" Aqua says as Nicole pries Jecka off of her.

"…Am I dead?"

"No, your friend here is taking you as her one item into the next world."

"What the fuck Nicole?!"

"I know but you said you would be there for me~."

"What does it matter if I'm there but I don't get a cool power? So now we're both gonna get raped in some shit hole world?"

"It's basically like Earth in the medieval ages." Aqua says.

"So now we're both gonna get raped in some shit hole world?" Jecka asks again.

"Of course not…Aqua, in all her mercy is gonna give us both an option for magical powers because she's the best Goddess~." Nicole says with a wink, her voice a higher note.

"…Are you trying to seduce me?" Aqua asks.

"Sorry, keep forgetting that doesn't work on women." Nicole says.

"Regardless, what makes you think I'll do that?! She's not even dead!"

"I don't have an issue with that."

"Huh?"

"I mean, the choice is either get a super power in another world or continue dating my History teacher and work a dead end job as my deadbeat dad continues banging Emily."

"You're dad is banging Emily?"

"Yeah…marrying her too; She's my new step mom."

"Gross, but your dad has good taste."

"It's basically me but not related!"

"…Your dad has good taste."

"Aww…I'm still not sharing my percocet with you now."

"Bitch! And after I got you magical powers too!" Nicole says.

"Just pick a power that makes you high." Jecka says.

"Hold on, is there something wrong with Emily?" Aqua asks.

"She's my age." Jecka says and Aqua groans before muttering 'Americans…'.

"So, do I have to kill myself first? I got some percocet I can overdose on now if you want. It's fresh too!"

"Can I get one?"

"No, you're already dead."

"You…just carry that stuff around with you?"

"Yeah." Jecka and Nicole say at the same time.

"…I'm getting a headache, and I do need to meet a quota. Just pick a power so you two can buzz off already. I doubt a pair of depressed sociopath drug addicts can do anything." Aqua says as papers appear in front of them.

"I mean, she's probably right; plus I couldn't give a shit what happens over there but now she's a target…oh?"

"Quick question, what does the fine print on this one say?" Nicole asks and Aqua reads it over with a grimace.

"You…don't want this one. It only works once a day."

"What does it do though? Description is a little vague. 'Power of a God'?"

"Basically, you can channel the powers of a God for a few minutes. Pyra's fire, Eris' luck, even the martial prowess of the God of War, but it's only a fraction of what they can do, and it hurts the deity you borrow from, so you'll be on Heaven's shit list."

"So that includes you too?" Nicole asks and Aqua starts sweating.

"Well…yes but my powers aren't that great; I'm mainly good at healing and purification."

"I'm sure I'll find a use for it~." Nicole says.

"I'm sure a smart, beautiful young lady like you would do much better with another power." Aqua says with her sales pitch smile while trying to pull the paper back. Nicole smiles as she speaks in an equally sweet voice while still holding onto the paper.

"But I'm just a depressed, suicidal drug addicted brat…I'll need the help of the Gods, and who better than the Goddess of healing to mend my broken soul~?" Nicole says, making Aqua grab her by the shoulders.

"Listen, I'll talk the next loser out of a power so I can give you TWO powers, as long as they aren't that!"

"But I wouldn't want to inconvenience a Goddess~." Nicole says while taking the paper. Aqua starts tearing up as they head to the next world.

"You know pissing off a deity is probably gonna bite us in the ass, right?"

"Eh, I'm sure she's the bottom bitch in their circle. No one's gonna care if she cries…besides you did say pick a power that'll make me higher, and what's a better high than knowing I can make God cry?" Nicole says as they start walking through a medieval looking town.

 

[Pandora's_Reader]

That pilot episode is really bringing out something in everyone.

 

[Davos]

That pilot episode is really bringing out something in everyone.

Click to shrink...

There's a pilot episode?

 

[Pandora's_Reader]

There's a pilot episode?

Click to shrink...

There's no shot this was coincidental timing. But yes there's a 12 min pilot episode.

 

[Davos]

There's no shot this was coincidental timing. But yes there's a 12 min pilot episode.

Click to shrink...

I know there was a teaser clip of Nicole and Jecka talking in the cafeteria when Jeffery started shooting. I didn't know something got released!...though tbf I did get thinking about 09 again after playing the Flipside. Thanks for the heads up on the pilot!

 

[Thiccc Shaedy]

*A Sociopath In This World

 

[Davos]

*A Sociopath In This World

Click to shrink...

Supposed to be a reference to the title of the show 'Blessing on this world', [blight in this case with Nicole] though this is starting to nag at me now

 

[Thiccc Shaedy]

Supposed to be a reference to the title of the show 'Blessing on this world', [blight in this case with Nicole] though this is starting to nag at me now

Click to shrink...

Oh, okay. So, can we get an informational about the MCs? Cos not everyone is familiar with class if 09.

 

[Davos]

Oh, okay. So, can we get an informational about the MCs? Cos not everyone is familiar with class if 09.

Click to shrink...

Sure, it'll help guide the next chapter...or did you mean something else?

 

[Thiccc Shaedy]

Sure, it'll help guide the next chapter...or did you mean something else?

Click to shrink...

Dude... I don't know jack shit about C09 or the main characters. I just wanna what to expect from these girls is all.

 

[Davos]

Dude... I don't know jack shit about C09 or the main characters. I just wanna what to expect from these girls is all.

Click to shrink...

Oh sure thing. Nicole is basically a sociopath who went to 8 different schools growing up due to her mom getting divorced as many times. No empathy, which can result in a number of outcomes from her game, including bullying a gay girl straight, cause a school shooting, and going to jail for selling cocaine as a community service requirement for a class.

Jecka is more moral in comparison, and she is basically the closest thing to a best friend for Nicole.

Both are not above flirting to getting out of trouble.

Both also use a lot of drugs.

My bad for not understanding the question earlier.

 

[Thiccc Shaedy]

Oh sure thing. Nicole is basically a sociopath who went to 8 different schools growing up due to her mom getting divorced as many times. No empathy, which can result in a number of outcomes from her game, including bullying a gay girl straight, cause a school shooting, and going to jail for selling cocaine as a community service requirement for a class.

Jecka is more moral in comparison, and she is basically the closest thing to a best friend for Nicole.

Both are not above flirting to getting out of trouble.

Both also use a lot of drugs.

My bad for not understanding the question earlier.

Click to shrink...

No problem. And Nicole sounds hella badass and I can't wait to see what she gets up to in that other world.

 

[Davos]

No problem. And Nicole sounds hella badass and I can't wait to see what she gets up to in that other world.

Click to shrink...

Glad it helped. If you want to see more, check out the games. Third one is from Jecka's pov and has a different tone.

 

[Davos]

"Will you hurry up already? We both know you're just gonna wind up as a shut in over there. Seen it dozens of times before, and you are just like the rest." Aqua says while eating potato chip.

"I-I'm not a shut in I died outside!" A young man in a green tracksuit says,

"Technically you died at the hospital so…still inside."

"That is not- You don't know that!"

"You're seriously telling a Goddess who deals with the dead everyday she doesn't know how you died? Anyway, just hurry up."

"…You want me to hurry up then? Well…since you got such a kick out of seeing me die, you'll enjoy it when I choose to take-"

Aqua starts screaming, spasming onto the floor, knocking over the chair and small table as her voice reaches a deafening pitch, forcing the young man to cover his ears.

"W-what's wrong?!" He says going over as Aqua continues screeching, banging her fists into the floor as a blue glow encircles her.

===

"Heal…heal…heal…" Nicole says in a monotone while pointing to Jecka who is eating dinner in their room at the inn.

"Why are you healing me? I'm not hurt."

"I know but it hurts that blue haired bitch and if I only have a few minutes a day, I'm gonna use it. Heal."

"Doesn't she have other spells?" Jecka asks.

"Yeah, but you aren't undead. Heal…heal…man I don't even know if she is feeling anything, this sucks…"

===

"My chest is on fire!" Aqua yells while rolling on the floor, clutching at her heart as Kazuma and a white haired young woman look on in shock.

"I didn't do anything I swear… I didn't even make my selection yet…Am I going to Hell Lady Eris?" Kazuma asks in monotone as Aqua continues yelling through tears.

"I know you didn't do this Mr. Satou…it's likely the work of the other person that died a bit before you. She took a skill that can cause this…" The white haired woman says with closed eyes as Aqua continues flailing and convulsing.

"I can't feel my toes! Nor my fingers! Even the entire left side of my body is starting to feel numb!" Aqua says, arching her back, head on the floor.

"Is that normal?" Kazuma asks.

"N-no, the pain shouldn't be that bad…it's equivalent to how much the caster on the other side uses it…It shouldn't be-" Eris stops when Aqua goes limp.

"L-lady Aqua!?"

"Did she have a heart attack?!"

===

"What kind of punk ass Goddess does party tricks?!" Nicole asks as a water fountain appears at her head, soaking her.

"Can you do it again? It's kinda fun to watch…plus you can use that to make money so we don't have to go on quests or get day jobs."

"Yeah, I'll do tricks for chump change, lotta money that way. Besides, what kind of performer only works 10 minutes a day? Great, now I'm wet…"

"Never thought I'd hear you say that…And you got a better idea? I doubt the inn keeper is going to accept our flirting again without having one of us do something tomorrow night, plus there is that whole registration fee at the guild." Jecka says.

"This sucks…we gotta work in this world too. Heal…huh?"

"Guess you hit the time limit."

"Great…wouldn't be surprised if that bitch lied about it hurting Gods just to pawn off a shitty skill."

"Does that mean you'll stop using it since you're not sure it hurts her?" Jecka asks.

"Fuck no, power of a God for 10 minutes? I'm sure I could use that for something…oh shit I could finally kick start Nicole-ism!"

"I don't think feminism is a thing here…"

"It will be when I'm through with them~."

===

Aqua is lying in the fetal position, crying as Eris awkwardly strokes her hair.

"There there, its fine now…You're alive and well."

"But what about tomorrow? I know that crazy drug addict is gonna keep doing this!" Aqua says before crying louder now.

"…I don't think I should be seeing this…I'm not even gonna drag her to the other world as my one item now. Too cruel after seeing this. If I'm going to the same world as that other person maybe I can-" Kazuma thinks before noticing Aqua approaching him, grabbing him by the shoulders and getting awfully close to his face, making him blush.

"W-what is-"

"I'll give you TWO powers if you kill that bitch!"

"Huh?"

"Lady Aqua! You can't just make offers like that!"

"But I don't wanna die again! And you didn't meet that brat! She's crazy, evil to the core and-"

"I understand your fear and anger, I'm just in as much risk as you, but attempting vengeance is not the answer…we should at least meet with this girl to make things clear." Eris says.

"Wait, Eris is at risk too?" Kazuma thinks.

"She knows what the power does, I explained it to her and she insisted on taking it anyway even when I offered her two powers!" Aqua says, making Eris rub her temples.

"…How are they both Goddesses?" Kazuma thinks before Eris approaches him.

"After you make your selection, would it be ok if I ask you to meet this young woman?"

"Who am I to refuse a request from a Goddess?" Kazuma says in a deep voice, making Aqua look flatly at him.

"Thank you Mr. Satou."

"Please, call me Kazuma."

"I almost would rather die than hear anymore of this…" Aqua thinks before showing Kazuma a bunch of powers and items. After a moment he picks his skill, a magic based skill.

===

"I forgot to ask, what did you pick from the water bimbo?"

"Strength."

"What do you mean strength?"

"I forget the exact name, but I'm basically Hercules now without the excessive muscle."

"…Why didn't you tell me earlier? We could have just mugged someone!"

"Because I know you would have suggested that and I don't want to be a criminal!"

"Ok, fair, but you're definitely doing the heavy lifting tomorrow."

"Like Hell, you literally have God powers. I just picked this so I wouldn't be assaulted!"

"You think I want to be assaulted?"

"Should have thought of that before wanting to torture the blue girl…but don't worry, ask nicely and I'll consider protecting you~."

"Aren't you just a knight in shining armor?" She says and they go to sleep.

===

Kazuma appears in the world, looking around him in glee at the new surroundings. He wanders the night street with a smile as he makes note of a few buildings, namely the guild and an inn he'll be staying at for a spell. He pays for a room and goes to bed, barely able to sleep, too excited to start his adventure and to find the girl Nicole.

"Huh…one of my first tasks in my new life is talking to a girl as a favor to a Goddess…This'll be awesome!"

 

[pink_boy]

Huh…one of my first tasks in my new life is talking to a girl as a favor to a Goddess…This'll be awesome!

Click to shrink...

You poor fool...

 

[trashtaker]

You poor fool...

Click to shrink...

She's gonna confirm so many stereotype to Kazuma

 

[Thiccc Shaedy]

Bruh... I fucking LOVE this kid!

 

[Davos]

Bruh... I fucking LOVE this kid!

Click to shrink...

She is great...like a walking train wreck

 

[Thiccc Shaedy]

She is great...like a walking train wreck

Click to shrink...

That's what I like!

 

[Davos]

Nicole goes down the stairs, feeling groggy and pissed.

"Maybe I should have picked something that lets me make cigarettes at will?" She thinks as Jecka yawns beside her.

"Oh! Hey there!" A young man in green waves at them.

"Oh my God, not even 24 hours…" Nicole mutters.

"Pardon me, I know this is out of the blue but-"

"I'm not interested." Nicole says.

"N-no that's not why I-"

"We're not prostitutes." Jecka says and the young man freezes a moment.

"I'll just get to the point. You're Nicole and Jecka right?"

"How do you know our names? Are you a stalker?" Nicole asks.

"Wow, a day in and we already got a stalker…does that make us universally hot or unlucky?" Jecka asks.

"What? No! I'm not a stalker!"

"Sounds like something a stalker would say." Jecka says while pulling out a cigarette.

"You have a cigarette?!"

"Yeah. Last one though."

"Bitch, give me it to me!"

"Phrasing, and no; my cigarette."

"Bitch I'm going through withdrawal like a fat ass making a new year's resolution diet."

"Smoking is bad for you…" the young man says, drawing glares from both women. He turns away.

"Did we ask for your opinion, stalker?" Nicole asks.

"N-no but I-"

"So fuck off." Jecka says and they start walking for the exit and Kazuma follows them down an empty street.

"Seriously? Do we have to call the guards?"

"I'm not a stalker, I'm from Japan! My name is Kazuma Satou and I-"

"Great, there's a Jeffery in this world too." Nicole says.

"So a stalker and a pervert?" Jecka says.

"I'm not a pervert, I'm a perfectly healthy young man! I'm here on a request from the Gods." Kazuma says and both girls look at him.

"…I'm listening." Nicole says.

"They want you to stop abusing that power. The one Goddess, Aqua, had a heart attack yesterday and-"

"She did?!" Nicole asks.

"Yes, so can you-"

"Bitching, it does work!" Nicole says with a smile, leaving Kazuma stunned.

"…He could be lying…" Jecka says before taking a drag.

"Why would I lie about that?" Kazuma asks.

"Get on our good side in the hope of adding us to your dream harem that you could never get back in Japan because you're a perverted loser with 4 too many posters of fictional girls?" Nicole says and Kazuma looks at her with wide eyes.

"I mean…I wasn't going for that. I wouldn't refuse but did you have to really say all that? And I…didn't have that many posters…"

"It's obvious from here. Probably killed yourself because you knew no woman wanted you." Nicole says and Kazuma groans before shaking his head.

"I didn't kill myself, I had a heart attack!"

"Wow, even porn is too much for you…That's sad." Jecka says between snorts of laughter.

"I didn't have a heart attack from watching porn!"

"Sounds like something a virgin dying of a heart attack watching giantess furry porn would say." Nicole says, making Kazuma's eye twitch.

"That's awfully specific. Speaking about your own fetish, bitch?"

"Wo-ah! Looks like he found some backbone when he realized he has no chance in this world too~." Jecka says.

"Why you- Just because you're a little good looking doesn't mean you can get away with talking down to me like-"

"A shame…just when I was starting to think you were pretty cute too~." Nicole says with a wink. Jecka rolls her eyes as she takes another drag.

"Huh? Y-you think I'm cute?"

"Super cute~." Nicole says taking a step closer, now in front of Kazuma who is blushing and looking away while scratching his cheek/

"O-oh…I…well, thank you…would you like to-"

"Pathetic…" Nicole says before stepping back, her smile replaced with a scowl.

"Huh?"

"A smile, some nice words in a flirty tone and you lost all sense of self respect. You're just like every other worthless rapist...well, wannabe rapist in your case."

"I'm not a-AGH!" Kazuma rubs his temples before speaking again.

"Whatever. I don't want anything to do with you…can you not use that ability so much though?"

"I picked it to have an easier time in this hell hole and now you're telling me what to do without even knowing me? Patriarchal prick."

"The Hell are you talking about?"

"I'm supposed to believe some random man when he says he' speaking for the Gods? I'm supposed to listen when a man orders me not to use my gifts?" Nicole says, hands on her hips when a tear appears between them.

"…What are you doing?" Jecka asks Kazuma.

"That's not me…" Kazuma says.

"It's me." Eris says through the tear.

"And me!" Aqua says.

"The blue bitch?" Nicole asks.

"My name is Aqua!"

"Yeah that's blue bitch." Jecka says.

"I don't care what you call me anymore, but please use that power only when needed! It really hurts when you use it too much in one sit-"

"Heal." Nicole says, making Aqua scream.

"Oh wow, it does work." Nicole says.

"Yes, which is why we are contacting you to-" Eris starts to say.

"Heal." Nicole says getting another scream and smiling fully now as Aqua yells.

"Will you stop this!?" Eris asks as Aqua rolls on the floor.

"Sure, on one condition…heal." Nicole says.

"What is-"

"Your name."

"Huh?" Eris asks.

"Tell me your name so I have someone else to abuse." Nicole says and Eris stays quiet.

"Knew it. Even Gods will choose to save their own skin…Heal~." She says, eliciting another scream.

"Eris." She says a moment later.

"Cool…what powers you got?"

"I am the Goddess of luck."

"Luck? And I thought her stupid party tricks were useless."

"My party tricks are not useless!"

"Yeah, whatever, Nature's Beauty." Nicole says while pointing her hand at Kazuma, eliciting a louder scream from Aqua as he gets doused in water. He looks at her with clenched fists.

"I have about had it with you…"

"Would it be better if the shower was golden?" Nicole asks.

"Oh my God Nicole, really?" Jecka asks.

"Withdrawal is a bitch."

"Just like you." Kazuma says.

"Never heard that before." Nicole says while rolling her eyes.

"…Aqua, is that offer still open?"

"YES!"

"K-Kazuma you cannot be-" Eris starts but stops when Kazuma takes a swing at Nicole.

Only to miss and get kicked between the legs; He falls to his knees as Jecka laughs. Nicole takes the mostly used up cigarette for a quick drag before putting it out on Kazuma's cheek. Then she throws him face first into the ground. Kazuma groans while cupping his crotch as Nicole takes his coin purse.

"Hey that's-" His complaint is garbled when Nicole steps on his face, twisting her foot over his nose.

"Mine now. Call it payment for stepping on you, since this is probably the closest you'll ever get to a woman~. See ya never." Nicole says before walking off, flipping Kazuma off with his money on her waist.

Kazuma gets up and staggers after them onto a populated street.

"H-hold on, get back here you-"

"No, leave me alone!" Nicole says, hands over her face, her fake tears getting the attention of everyone in the area; including two exceptionally big, muscled men.

"You bothering this lady, creep?"

"I-I'm not a-" Kazuma's words are cut off from the hook. He falls and covers himself as he is kicked and stomped on. Another muscled man sees this a short distance away while sipping wine. He takes another sip before standing and walking over towards Kazuma.

To start kicking Kazuma as well.

Nicole and Jecka walk away, counting the money in the coin purse.

"Huh…should be more than enough for the registration fee and a few nights at the inn without needing to suck dick." Nicole says.

"…Don't you think that was a little harsh?" Jecka asks.

"No…wait, why are you asking?"

"I mean, we don't really know what he is like, and he was asked by deities to talk to us. He can't be all bad."

"I might believe that if he wasn't glancing at our chests through half that conversation."

"Yeah but our chests are amazing."

"True but that makes it less annoying and creepy?" Nicole asks.

"No, but he could have probably been useful with whatever ability he got from Blue."

"Yeah, no…I don't want some pervert traveling with us."

"Well yeah obviously, but I meant during quests." Jecka says.

"We're both easily a 10 here. We'll have plenty of options for meat shields here." Nicole says and they go to the guild for the registration and class selection.

"Wait, we only get the weakest class?"

"I'm afraid it's due to your stats. Don't worry, most beginners start out like this." The receptionist says.

"Sure. Do you think I'd get something cool if I flash it some cleavage like you?"

"P-pardon?" The blonde woman says.

"I mean…your shirt is barely a shirt."

"…I can't help the uniform." She says and Nicole looks over at the waitresses with their short skirts…and the female adventurers in even more revealing clothing.

"This world needs me…no, it needs Nicole-ism!" Nicole thinks before they go to the quest board, taking a few papers and walking out. At the bar a man in a Mohawk watches them leave.

"…Dark times ahead, and I fear it's not just for Axel."

===

That night, Kazuma spends the night in a stable, broke, bruised, a pariah for a crime he never attempted, and in tears.

"This isn't how my adventure was supposed to start…"

 

[trashtaker]

Just needs to get a slave and Kazuma will finally get on his Shield-hero Esque Start

 

[pliplop]

This is hilarious, keep cooking.

 

[Riverside]

I can think that, if people notice Nicole's Arch Priest abilities and Nature's Beauty, Kazuma can pin this antagonism with each other as a scuffle between a follower of Aqua and a follower of Eris.
Although, if she can use Eris' Luck abilities, he might still lose any kind of fight. Nicole really is fun to watch but a dread to actually meet with.

 

[Davos]

I can think that, if people notice Nicole's Arch Priest abilities and Nature's Beauty, Kazuma can pin this antagonism with each other as a scuffle between a follower of Aqua and a follower of Eris.
Although, if she can use Eris' Luck abilities, he might still lose any kind of fight. Nicole really is fun to watch but a dread to actually meet with.

Click to shrink...

Never considered that but it is an interesting thought...Though I'm not sure how it would in practice. I thought luck didn't really have much of an observable effect outside of a few skills like snipe or auto evade? I also doubt Nicole would take kindly to being called a zealot unless there was something in it for her, and Axis cultists would probably annoy the Hell out of her.

 

[Riverside]

Never considered that but it is an interesting thought...Though I'm not sure how it would in practice. I thought luck didn't really have much of an observable effect outside of a few skills like snipe or auto evade? I also doubt Nicole would take kindly to being called a zealot unless there was something in it for her, and Axis cultists would probably annoy the Hell out of her.

Click to shrink...

That's the thing. She wouldn't. This Nicole almost got lynched for a rumor, I think. A rumor about her being an Axis cultist would kill her rep if enough people got tired of her bullshit. Meaning she won't be able to use her looks as a means if they are wary of her on principle.
As for luck, I thought it had its own meta or something in Konosuba, like good things can happen as long as you can grasp it. I based this more on that Kazuma has high luck and a Merchant class. I don't know if it's true.

 

[Davos]

That's the thing. She wouldn't. This Nicole almost got lynched for a rumor, I think. A rumor about her being an Axis cultist would kill her rep if enough people got tired of her bullshit. Meaning she won't be able to use her looks as a means if they are wary of her on principle.
As for luck, I thought it had its own meta or something in Konosuba, like good things can happen as long as you can grasp it. I based this more on that Kazuma has high luck and a Merchant class. I don't know if it's true.

Click to shrink...

I'm not too familiar with how luck works in Konosuba aside from certain skills and general things that don't usually have much thought [eg rock paper scissors]

Nicole was almost lynched, but that was back when she was trying to be nice. I suspect she would be more on top of that this time around though this does help give ideas for another chapter. Thank you.

 

[Davos]

Nicole looks over the quests she took yesterday and scowls.

"Kill Giant Toads? Teach a kid magic? Be a test subject for magic? These somehow suck more than I thought…How the Hell did this inspire an entire genre?"

"How big is a giant toad?" Jecka asks.

"Don't know, they didn't say, but I suspect they're big otherwise they'd just have some guy with a stick deal with it…it's probably slimy too."

"…Don't suppose they said what kind of magic they were testing?"

"No, but they said people with high magic resistance or health wanted…does that strength also give you high health?"

"I'm not being some magical sadist's guinea pig Nicole! And no, I think I just hit hard and can lift, but can't take a hit."

"So we're both easily killable then?"

"You say that like it wasn't a part of being hot already." Jecka says while lighting u a cigarette.

"I thought yesterday was your last cigarette?"

"So did I but I found another."

"Hand it over." Nicole says with an open hand.

"Smoking is bad for you~."

"Oh don't you quote that little shit at me!" Nicole says as she takes a slow deep drag, sighing with closed eyes.

"God, that's better than sex."

"You've had sex?"

"No, but smoking won't knock me up so that automatically makes it better."

"True…Speaking of him, you think I can convince him to do one of those jobs for us?" Jecka asks.

"Doubt it. Despite falling for that flirt, he strikes me as smart enough not to fall for it again."

"Yeah, if it's from you, but I'm sure I got a freebie yet."

"Even if you could convince him, do you even know where he's staying?" Nicole asks.

"…Maybe we should put up a poster asking for a party member?"

===

"…Thank you…" Kazuma says to the older man in the guild hall, trying to fight back the tears in his eyes as he accepts the money and loaf of bread.

"Do not mention it young man, it is part of the Eris faith to lend help to those that need it. I pray your circumstances will improve in the coming days." He says, crossing himself before leaving.

"Not even a week and I'm reduced to begging because of those two- No, forget about them. I already tried talking sense to them and it didn't work. Now I have enough for the registration fee and can start adventuring! I can sleep in a bed tonight! I can have dinner tonight!" Kazuma thinks while taking a bite of bread before heading to the counter. After a few minutes he gets his adventurer card and takes a quest to kill giant toads.

"Not the most exciting quest, but it's a start, and it pays! Plus I hear toad meat is surprisingly good. Maybe it tastes different here than back in my world? Though I didn't eat toad over there…or frog. Well, can't be that bad right?" Kazuma thinks before heading out, checking his ability one last time, certain there will be no issues now.

===

"Holy shit they weren't kidding about the giant part…" Jecka says.

"Yeah…well, get to it." Nicole says.

"What are you talking about?"

"You got strength, punch em or something."

"I'm not getting near those things, they look slimy and gross! Plus they'll probably eat me!"

"Then throw a rock. It'll be like throwing a ball during gym."

"I'm hot Nicole; I don't know how to throw a rock! All I had to do was wear the shorts and bend slightly forward every so often during gym, remember?"

"Then pretend you're throwing something at Jeffery! God knows they have matching eyes and-"

A thunder bolt silences them, making the toad gargle before falling onto its belly. A cry of sheer, childlike joy rings out.

"I just cast magic! This is so awesome!" Kazuma yells out before frying another few toads as Nicole and Jecka watch on out of his sight at the moment.

"…Maybe you shouldn't have treated him so poorly yesterday."

"I'm not apologizing." Nicole says as another thunder bolt rings down.

"What if he holds a grudge?"

"Like all men? Shocking."

"Most men don't have magic powers from a God!"

"Maybe you should have picked that instead?"

"You're seriously going to-"

"I don't know how today can-" Kazuma looks over and sees them. His smile falls as he spits to the side.

Then it returns.

"Wow, that's not serial killer smile at all." Nicole says.

"You really never stop running your mouth, do you?"

"I did once. Not doing that again."

"You really should, especially when it doesn't count as serial killing if it's only two bodies~." Kazuma says as he raises a hand, lightning crackling in the air.

"Oh God…" Jecka says.

"Go ahead you wannabe gangster tracksuit wearing bitch." Nicole says, making both Kazuma and Jecka freeze.

"Are you insane?" Kazuma asks after a beat.

"Yeah Nicole, why the fuck are you taunting the guy that can cook us like a toaster in a Jacuzzi?!"

"No, I just know better." Nicole says while walking towards Kazuma.

"I know he isn't dumb enough not to realize what his reputation in town is after that beating yesterday and that questions will arise if the two hottest new arrivals in forever disappear after he was seen harassing them~.

"You lying two faced-I never-"

"Nor is he hateful enough to kill us since he didn't do that on sight, and he is especially not malicious enough to follow through because, like so many other geeks who died a young, unremarkable virgin-" Nicole takes a breath and grins as she stands in front of Kazuma who takes a step back, perturbed by Nicole's advance.

"He has delusions of playing the hero~…and heroes don't do revenge because of a little hardship, right?"

"…God damn bitch…My reputation will improve in time, and yours will…" Kazuma mutters before leaving, making Nicole smile fully.
Jecka grabs her shoulder and looks at her flatly.

"You do realize next time he may just snap and set us both on fire right?"

"Maybe. But if he does, we win."

"No we won't we'll be dead!"

"Yeah, and we saw where we'll end up so nothing to really fear, especially since Heaven is just clouds, conversation, and choir music."

"Wait, seriously? That sounds like Hell."

"Yeah, so may as well enjoy this world for all it's worth~." Nicole says.

"…But if we don't want our time cut short by Ka-whatever, we'll need some serious magical firepower to help deal with him…"

"We got-"

"That doesn't have a once a day limit." Jecka cuts off Nicole, making her cross her arms.

"…I'm sure we can find someone if we just say he serves a fallen dark God or some similar bullshit."

"I'll make the poster when we get back. Hopefully they can help with this quest to so I don't have to get all slimy…" Jecka says and they go back to twon.

===

"…Your poster sucks." Nicole says.

"I never made anything like this before, fuck off. Besides, it has the basic requirements we want."

"…Isn't this a city of rookies or something? Who are we going to find someone with the magical firepower that can and is willing to fight a lunatic with divine powers?" Nicole asks.

"Says the other lunatic with divine powers…" Jecka says while pulling out a cigarette.

"Screw you I'm not like that-wait, I thought you were out of-"

"I noticed your poster." They both turn to the voice.

"It must be the fate of this world that we meet; you who seek magic to best a God, and I, the holder of such raw power. My search for a suitable party must be nearing its end!" Says a young girl; with a flick of her cape, a hand in front of her face, an eye patch over one eye as she grins under an oversized hat she continues.

"I am Megumin! Tell me, what fierce horror on this world do you dare face?!"

"Oh fuck another weirdo…" Nicole and Jecka mutter the same time.

 

[Anybody]

Let me guess Jecka is lying about her cheat being super strenght and it is instead an Infinite pack of cigars right?
Also given how Nicole already ruined his reputation Kazuma is a litteral magnet for Darkness.
So my predictions are that the future parties will be Nicole, Jecka, Megumin and Kazuma, Darkness, Yunyun.

 

[Davos]

Let me guess Jecka is lying about her cheat being super strenght and it is instead an Infinite pack of cigars right?
Also given how Nicole already ruined his reputation Kazuma a litteral magnet for Darkness.
So my predictions are that the future parties will be Nicole, Jecka, Megumin and Kazuma, Darkness, Yunyun.

Click to shrink...

Not sure I should answer this. But I do like the infinite cigar idea.

 

[Davos]

"I am not weird! This is the typical greeting of the Crimson Demons!" Megumin says with balled fists.

"Wait, does that mean you're related to the Demon King?" Nicole asks while taking a slow drag.

"No, Crimson Demons are the mortal enemy of the Demon King. We just call ourselves demons because it's cool."

"Oh my God, and I thought Kazuma was a perfect copy of Jeffery…" Jecka says with her hands over her face.

"Does this Jeffery friend of yours know the most powerful spell, Explosion?!"

"Not our friend, and depends on what kind of Explosion we're talking about." Nicole says.

"He knows another form of Explosion?!"

"Yeah, but it's usually done indoors where we're from." Jecka says getting a stifled laugh from Nicole. Megumin looks at them puzzled.

"…I feel like your making fun of Explosion…and how can it be effective if it has to be cast indoors? That is literally the opposite ideal condition for that spell."

"I mean does it matter? You got other spells you can use right?" Nicole asks and Megumin glances to the side before flicking her cape.

"When one has learned the most powerful spell, all other forms of magic are but a distraction!"

"So you're unable to learn other spells?" Jecka asks.

"No, I refuse to learn other spells!" Megumin says, leaving Nicole and Jecka quiet.

"Can it kill giant toads?" Nicole asks.

"It can vanquish any foe!"

"Eh, good enough for a test run. Let's go." They head out to the field where there is a toad sunbathing.

"…It almost looks cute." Jecka says.

"Yeah, like a Chihuahua that just got rabies."

"Chu wawa?" Megumin asks.

"Ugly dog where we're from…aren't you going to blow it up?" Nicole asks.

"I have not heard a better question yet!" Megumin skips a few steps to get in range before twirling her staff.

"Breath of giants from ages past, heed my call and smite my foe with the antithesis of creation! Remind this world once more of-"

"…She's calling on the power of bad breath?" Nicole asks.

"No I think it's a chant thing mages do. It's how they cast their spells."

"Did that guy chant before cooking the toads?"

"No, but that was from a God so there's probably differences and-"

"EXPOLSION!"

A deafening clap and the gust of wind nearly blows them back, the array of lights stunning the pair of them as a crater is formed where the hapless toad stood. Nicole and Jecka stand up, moths open in sheer shock.

"Oh my God…she wasn't kidding about the magic!"

"That can totally kill blue bitch and that other guy! We're…uh…oh no." Nicole says, her amazement quickly wearing when she sees Megumin face first in the ground. They go over and look at her.

"Think she's dead?" Jecka asks.

"I'm not dead…"

"Then get up, I see toads coming." Nicole says while looking at a few of them emerging from the ground.

"I can't…I used up all my mana." Megumin says.

"What does mana have to do with you not moving?"

"Mana is used first when casting magic. But if someone doesn't enough mana, their energy can be used to make up the difference. I only have enough mana and energy to use that glorious spell once before becoming like this…"

"What?! You can only use that spell once a day?! Why don't you learn another spell?" Jecka asks.

"Because Explosion is the best magic! Can one of you carry me?"

"Leave her." Nicole says and starts walking away. Jecka looks at Nicole walk away, down to Megumin unable to move, and the approaching toads.

"Please don't leave me…"

Jecka leans down and hefts up Megumin running her in with one hand and starts running.

"Jecka what the fuck? We could have ditched her and leisurely walked back!"

"You were seriously going to leave me?!" Megumin asks.

"Wouldn't you?!"

"No!"

"Lying flat brat!" Nicole says as they all run.

"You're calling me a brat for not wanting to die?! And leave my chest alone!"

"Death isn't that bad and I doubt you'll ever have the chance to say that again!" Nicole says, making Megumin gasp.

"This is seriously not the time, we have frogs after us!" Jecka shouts.

"Toads." Nicole says.

"What-fucking-ever! They're gonna kill us unless we-wait! Why don't you kill them?!"

"Blue bitch is only good at healing!"

"Use another bitch!"

"What are you two talking ab-" Megumin screams when a toad tongue grabs her and pulls her back.

"D-didn't blue bitch mention a fire Goddess called Pyro or something? Use her spells!" Jecka asks as another toad lands in front of them.

"I don't know fire spells!"

"J-just say fireball! That's what those dnd geeks say!"

===

A redheaded woman in jeans, t- shirt, and a leather jacket is napping peacefully on a blanket under a tree. She opens her eyes and stretches her arms above her head before standing up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Faking illness to get out of work was the best idea I had in years~." She says while flicking her long lock of hair behind her. She brings out a thermos and takes a sip. She places her hand at the bottom to warm it up.

"Shame I won't be able to do it again for another century and-"

Her wrist bends backwards with a crack, dropping the thermos, the back of her hand now touching her forearm. Pyra looks at her hand, crimson eyes now dots, her cheeks blanching. Then the pain registers.

"Is this punishment for faking illness!? Make it stop!" She screams before going to her knees, her arm further bending backwards like rolled up dough.

===

"Fire ball! Fire ball! Fire ball!" Nicole keeps yelling at the downed toad corpse. Jecka holds a crying Megumin with two fingers, covering her nose with her other hand.

"You…need a bath…"

"You know what the worst part is?"

"Other than your smell?"

"It was actually pretty comfy in there…Like a warm blanket during winter…" Megumin says. Nicole eventually walks back.

"I'm done for the day. Least we got the quest done."

"…There has to be something easier than this…" Jecka says.

As they walk back into town, people look at the trio. Mostly at Megumin who glistens in the sunlight and nearly knocks out anyone passing near them like a wet handbag of rotten meat. Low laughter draws their attention at the guild entrance. A small distance away is Kazuma sipping tea with the most pretentious pinky out.

"Having trouble~?" He asks.

"Not as much as you."

"I'm not the one that reeks."

"Neither am I, so fuck off." Nicole says.

"Come now, I'm just worried how my fellow rookie adventurers are doing~ Tell me, how many quests have you finished today? Certainly it wasn't just 1? I did 4~." Kazuma says while fanning himself before taking a bite of steak.

Megumin looks at him in amazement.

Nicole and Jecka look at each other and nod.

They walk away, balling their fists as Kazuma laughs at them. They hand in the quest note and get paid. They do the math and give Megumin her share before giving her the bad news.

"Sorry Meg, you don't quite make the cut. But we know someone who would love to have you." Nicole says and Megumin smiles.

They walk outside and sit at Kazuma's table, making his smirk grow wider.

"Oh? Are you actually asking me to help you? Well this is a funny turn of events isn't it?" Kazuma asks with a pained expression from Megumin's smell.

"Don't call him a spineless virgin who couldn't get a woman on his own…yet." Nicole thinks with a fake smile on her lips.

"Yes, we are." Nicole says and Kazuma's smile falls.

"…What are you planning bitch?"

"W-wait, is this the guy?" Megumin asks.

"Yes. He may look a piece of crap, but he's just an awkward loner in need of friends." Jecka says.

"I am neither of those things you bimbo!"

"I have morals! I said no to doing feet stuff." Jecka says.

"Wow. Truly an inspiration. A symbol of D cup purity."

"It's a C cup." Nicole says, leaving Kazuma quiet a moment.

"…Just tell me how you want my help and I'll draft up some terms~."

"Wow…saying stuff like that so brazenly and you wonder why we mistook you for a rapist."

"N-not those kind of terms!"

"You expect us to believe that's not what you meant?" Nicole asks.

"Yeah it seriously sounded like half the stories on Redtube, especially all the school girl getting a better grade one…" Jecka says.

"Sure you aren't speaking from experience?" Kazuma asks.

"No, but that might have been better than Olive Garden." Jecka says and Kazuma looks at her very confused.

"What does a garden full of olives have to do with- never mind, I was thinking more like our prior talk… with you know who…" Kazuma says.

"No need to be shy Kazuma, your new party member should know that you were chosen by the Gods." Nicole says, making Megumin look at Kazuma with sparkles in her eyes and Kazuma blanch.

"By the Gods?!"

"Yes, he has amazing magical powers, got them directly from a God. You can learn a lot by watching him~." Jecka says.

"You…this was your-" Kazuma stops when Megumin sits up and gets close to his face, smiling fully while bringing the horrible smell closer.

"I was top of my class in the Red Prison, I promise to pull my weight when it matters and-"

"H-hold on there kiddo, I-" He stops when Megumin looks dejected.

"To crush a young girl's heart, and deny helping out a fellow adventurer. You really are all talk…how terrible of you." Nicole says her grin making Kazuma ball his fists.

"If you think I'll stay patient forever you have another-" A stomach growling interrupts them. Megumin looks away.

"…I haven't eaten anything since yesterday, but I got paid! So I'll probably have to choose between the stables and dinner, or a bed and water soup…" Megumin says with an awkward smile. Kazuma looks her over before handing her a menu.

"I have more Eris than I know what to do with yet. Order something." Kazuma says and Megumin smiles with an open mouth.

"Truly all the makings of a hero~." Nicole says.

"I'm ordering only for her, the rest of you beat it before I-" Kazuma before Megumin jumps at Kazuma. He looks at the approaching Crimson demon with wide eyes, unable to move as she crashes into him, spilling his lunch, and soiling his clothes.

"Oh God, that smell! Get away from me!"

"Thank you for letting me join your party! I'll carry your bags!"

"I don't need a bag carrier, I need air! What the Hell is this fluid?!" Kazuma yells out while trying to peel Megumin away from him.

"Enjoy the new party member, no need to thanks us, we both know this is the only way you'd get a girl to get on top of you~." Nicole says with a smile before leaving.

She chuckles while hearing Kazuma try to pry the horrid smelling Megumin away, only to frown when someone stand before her.

"Are you the one responsible for leaving that young woman in such a state?"

"Technically no…it was the giant toad." Jecka says.

"You let your companion be eaten by a monster?"

"I would, but Jecka had a change of heart."

"She didn't deserve that Nicole."

"To flat out admit to leaving a party member be devoured by a monster…and not even show a hint of remorse towards her but instead throw her to an uncouth man like a piece of meat to the wolves…"

"I am not uncouth! And where did you find this strength!?" Kazuma shouts with Megumin latching onto his shoulders.

"Oh God, are you going to lecture me about 'morals' and 'treating people nicely'?" Nicole asks with a roll of her eyes while gesturing to Jecka to give her a cigarette.

"Don't have one." Jecka says while smoking a cigarette.

"Are you seriously going to bullshit me while-" Nicole stops when the blonde woman grabs her by the shoulders, face near hers, cheeks red as fire and a hint of drool at her lips.

"I would never ask you to change your ways. You're perfect~."

"What?" Jecka, Nicole, and Kazuma ask at the same time.

"My name is Darkness and I must join your party!"