And the Force Shall Guide Me [Star Wars SI]

I stood at the threshold of Master Quinn's meditation chamber and hesitated, my foot on the threshold. I reminded myself that fear was the path to the dark side. It was the little death that brought total obliteration. I breathed in deep, let it pass over me, and when I released that breath, I felt calmer. The fear was still there, just.... less. That would have to do. I stepped over the threshold.

"Master Quinn?"

Master Quinn turned around, stepping out of the meditative pose she had been in. She was a rich Orchid toned Twi'lek with kind, matronly features. Her long, draping robes swept the floor as she moved. "Miri'llen, it's good to see you again."

"You as well, Master." I paused, waiting for her to continue. She didn't seem inclined to breech the topic, though, so after a brief moment of silence, I did. "Master Quinn, may I inquire about why you called me?"

"You may."

Another beat of silence. I fidgeted and twisted the skin of my wrist with my other hand nervously. "Then... Master, why have you called me?"

Master Quinn smiled. "I wanted to have a chat. About your future." That certainly didn't sound worrisome at all. "But first, would you like have a drink? Any refreshments?"

I felt like saying no, but my mouth did feel really dry and I didn't want to reject Master Quinn's hospitality out of hand. After a moment of thought, I jerkily nodded my head. "Yes, please, if it's not imposing."

Master Quinn nodded, still smiling, and began bustling about the room. There was the simmer of a heat plate in the back of the room, and the rustling of bags of various bags of dried vegetation. I could smell something rich and strong brewing in the back of the room. "Do you drink Sapir Tea?"

I nodded noncommittally. Sure. I had never had it before, but something about the smell stuck in the craws of my memory. Its aroma billowed outwards, filling the room as Master Quinn let it steep in its pot.

"How have you been, Miri'llen?" Master Quinn procured two wooden stools for us to rest on. I dropped onto one. "Good, I hope? Getting along with the rest of your clan?"

I shrugged. "Alright, I guess." I didn't tend to see them much to be honest, mostly due to my own fault. I... didn't want to get too close to them. I knew it was a bit rude of me, but I didn't know if I could deal if I made friends with them and then watched them die. It might have been craven of me, but I kept my heart closed and locked it up under tight bars of formality.

But I didn't tell Master Quinn any of that. Instead, I fidgeted on my stool some more.

"I see you've been taking a lot of xenobiology and healing courses, focusing on medical fields." Master Quinn poured me a clay cup of the strong, aromatic tea as she smoke. I took a hold of it gently in both my hands. The fragrant, relaxing steam wafted out of the tall ridged cup. I took a sip, and felt my cheeks color as I accidentally made a loud and wet slurping noise. Whoops. "As well as some minor engineering courses, though you've been only taking the bare minimum of combat courses."

"...I don't like fighting." I admitted. The concept of striking another sentient being, even in self defense, was off putting to me. Jedi were creatures of peace and order, not brutish violence, but I suspect even in the Jedi my pacifist ideals were beyond strange.

Master Quinn who knew nothing of my secret self-doubts patted my hand gently. "None of us do, Miri'llen. But sometimes, we must use the saber as a weapon of last resort. The galaxy is never as kind as we want it to be, and Jedi are defenders of more than just their own lives. And when the time for arms passes, we will lay them down and return to peace."

I nodded without heart. She was right, of course. I just hoped she would be able to apply it.

"You are doing well in your courses, your instructors tell me that you have a thirst for learning and pursue your studies with a powerful, if erratic, drive. Some of them have even extended an offer of apprenticeship. But according to them, you've turned them all down."

Oh. So it was that, then. I put my Sapir tea down in my legs, cradled between my legs and sighed, breathing out rich spice filled breath. Master Quinn took a sip of her Sapir tea. No slurping noises there. "Master, I just didn't feel like that was the right path for me."

"Miri'llen, I understand that perhaps being the apprentice of a Temple Instructor is not the most glamorous or exciting, but it is still very rewarding." Master Quinn spoke with a kind, yet firm tone. "But more importantly, you cannot pin your hopes forever on catching an exciting Jedi Knight or Master's eye. If it is not in the Force, it is not in the Force. And if you forgive me for being too forward, I do not think your combat skills are strong enough to attract a apprenticeship through winning the tournament."

Master Quinn's eyes were bright with worry and I felt a pale shade of self-awareness fall over me and I looked down. I had probably disappointed her- was disappointing her. I looked down. But I was probably going to disappoint her some more. "Master. I don't want to become a padawan."

Master Quinn was honestly perplexed. "What?"

...how... how to say it? I fidgeted with the cup of Sapir Tea held in my hands, between my legs. There wasn't really an easy way to say it, so I just blurted it all out in a rush. "Master Quinn, I want to join the Service Corps!"

In that moment, after I had confessed what might have been the most career ambition that Master Quinn had ever heard, except for the pot of Sapir still burbling in the background, there was nothing but silence. You could have heard the noise of a pin hitting the ground, had someone dropped one.

It was an awkwardly long amount of time, before I dared to move again. I looked up at Master Quinn's face, and saw nothing but shock. The Service Corps were not a branch of the Jedi Order Initiates ascribed to, it was a branch they were threatened with. I think I might have truly blindsided her with that confession.

She tried to recover. "Miri'llen, you... have a lot of potential. Are... are you sure?"

I nodded. "I'm sure, Master."

The conversation didn't last for much long after. I think Master Quinn truly couldn't think of anything else to say after what I had said. Clawmouse Clan had never been the clan of the most ambitious young initiates, but usually younglings had grander career ambitions other than 'spend the rest of their lives watching plants grow' or 'journey on a ship to a far away place, where you'll probably be spending most of your time trying not to bore yourself in space, the other tiny portion slogging through knee deep swamps and having a miserable time'. And I think she really did think I had potential. But, I told her I wanted to join the Service Corps and that was that.

As I trudged my way back to the dormitories, I passed a droid polishing and buffing up a wall. The droid was a little round thing, with a diameter about the length of my arm and a thickness the length of my hand. A variety of various cleaning tools extruded from slots on its back like manipulator tentacles and it hung in the air by a tiny inbuilt repulsorlift. It had been working on that section an abnormally long time, and I wandered up to it, wondering if it was defective.

It didn't notice my approach until I tapped it gently on the back, upon which it made a couple of rapid beeping noises at me. I shrugged back at it. I couldn't understand droid. "I think you've been working on this section long enough. I can almost see my reflection."

It wobbled in the air, as if it was taking another examination of the wall and then jolted suddenly in place. With a series of beeps that sounded almost sheepish, it flew off, down the hallway. I started off after it, a bit amused and a bit confused. Droids were so weird. I don't think I'd ever get used to them.

With a sigh, I turned back to the wall. I actually could see my reflection in the wall. The droid had ton a real number on it. I waved at it and my mirror self waved back at me.

She was a young human girl, hoping to reach the first growing stages of adolescence soon and potentially become taller, but sadly acceptant of the possibility that she would probably be shorter than everyone else for a good while yet. Dark black hair fell from her head in twin pigtails, and her skin was so pale it was blotched with sections of pink where the blood underneath colored it. Brown eyes narrowed back at me. What was this dork looking at? I punched her, and then winced as I found out to my dismay that the wall was tougher than my knuckles. Owwwww.

There was a beeping sound behind me, and I turned around to the cleaning droid back again. It beeped angrily at me, and motioned me aside, where it began to clean up the misty foggy stain here my fist had left its imprint against the wall.

Oh. Yeah. Right. My bad.

I backed away slowly, waving the cleaning droid to its work and began walking slowly back towards the dormitory, thinking back on my meeting with Master Quinn. In truth, there was one more thing I hadn't mentioned to the matronly Twi'lek master. I wasn't just joining the Service Corps for not reason. No, there was a method to my madness. I was joining it because it would be the most likely way to survive. The Service Corps would be spread out, far flung across the galaxy, with little active supervision. It would be easy to escape from the eyes of the galactic government in the service corps. Easy to shed the name of the Jedi. Easy to flee into the Outer Rim with nothing to track me down.

Because the one thing I hadn't told Master Quinn was this: I knew what the future held in store. Fire, death, and destruction. The systematic eradication of the Jedi order, and the rise of the Sith to the reigns of the galactic government. Almost twenty years of rule under a despotic empire, held in check by a traitorous Sith once of the Jedi Order's own fold.

I flopped onto my bed, and stared up at the ceiling. I wasn't going to be able to stop any of that. The clone wars were already beginning, and by the time destruction would come for us, I wouldn't even have become a knight. My best chances, of survival, thus, lay with the Service Corps. It was cold blooded fear and the desire for survival which drove me to pursue this plan.

It's just too bad the Force had other plans.

Sure why not