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Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by TheVoid22222, Jan 29, 2019.

  1. TheVoid22222

    TheVoid22222 Making the rounds.

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    Last edited: Apr 26, 2023
  2. lackofgravitas

    lackofgravitas Making the rounds.

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  3. Mkaius

    Mkaius Versed in the lewd.

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    First kill?
    I wonder how many she will get before everyone starts hunting her.
     
  4. Stormbringer117

    Stormbringer117 Soulless

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    One thing I have to say is Taylor isn't that large chested, I'm pretty sure she is supposed to be like borderline flat chested.

    Loving the premise and the art style.
     
  5. NotaWriter

    NotaWriter I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Nice beginning, I like it.
     
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  6. Kerfirou

    Kerfirou Cultivating Dantian inside a Star

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    Huh, heroic Sylar. That ironically works since this is Worm.
     
  7. Ardyn

    Ardyn The True Chosen King

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    Yes, another sylar worm fic!
    And I like what is there so far.
    i do hope though that you don’t go the same direction as “her name is death”.
    The prt instantly vilifying her and her own constant “need more power” addiction was what ended up ruining that fic for me, making it another “artificial conflict to keep the plot interesting“ fic.
    I do hope you continue making this an interesting story.
     
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  8. Stormbringer117

    Stormbringer117 Soulless

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    The Hungry grows... for more power and more BRAINSSSS~

    Btw didn't threadmark the last to chapters.
     
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  9. Gaemnomut

    Gaemnomut Well worn.

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    Things are heating up. Mastermind was cool. I'm glad you're including some non canon capes. Most fanfics often only use those from the major gangs, even though there were supposedly quite a few more floating around BB iirc.

    And the Sophia pic is pretty good btw. Fit's pretty well with how I immagined her.
     
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  10. Bobbot

    Bobbot Know what you're doing yet?

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    Hmmm who first Dean(Gallant) or Victoria(Glory girl) die first my money on Vicky just because of what happened at the mall
     
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  11. gaouw

    gaouw Banishumento, Zis Warudo!!!

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    So, CMIIW here, but isn't Taylar's feeling be more curious and desire rather than straight out killing intent?

    After all is said and done, Sylar doesn't really care about your life, it's just so happen that in order to understand your power he need to do something that kill you?

    Just saying that Dean's interlude seems to be a shoehorn of imminent confrontation is all.
     
  12. gaouw

    gaouw Banishumento, Zis Warudo!!!

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    No, you misunderstand me.

    What I mean is that that meeting will turn Taylar from a total nobody into a blip in the radar.
    An entirely understandable and quickly forgotten blip, if only that Taylar's future action is not a factor.

    In short, this gives a very weak probable cause that may turn into not so weak probable cause after all.

    I guess I just prefer a total information black out until and/or unless Taylar is already at Glaistig's level, I guess.
     
  13. Gaemnomut

    Gaemnomut Well worn.

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    Pretty cool updates. I'm liking this story more and more.

    I noticed one mistake:
    I think you are missing a "were" in that sentence. 'The powers she obtained were altered...'
     
  14. Kerfirou

    Kerfirou Cultivating Dantian inside a Star

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    Sylar!Taylor is good. A smart villain is nice.
     
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  15. Edifier

    Edifier Trusted within thoughts.

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    I love it.
     
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  16. CrimsonFate

    CrimsonFate Versed in the lewd.

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    It seems like Taylor hating Panacea for not spending time healing on others when she should be hating on that Panacea could be enabling New Wave to be actual heroes working to make a better world and making cures for sickness. Instead of doing PR stunts to gather fame from people.
     
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  17. CrimsonFate

    CrimsonFate Versed in the lewd.

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    She could be helping researchers see how her power works when healing others. And offering her services to heroes more often making sure they never stay off the field and do something. While Taylor doesn't know Panacea could really do but she can jump to some conclusions on what Panacea really using her power for. Like using it to gather fame and popularity from others. Mostly just saying this since Taylor hating on Panacea for not healing at every waking moment is not strong enough in where as in Panacea could be enjoying the highlights of a celebrity life style.
     
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  18. CrimsonFate

    CrimsonFate Versed in the lewd.

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    If your planning on that how about a scene in where Taylor decides to check on Sophia Hess/Shadow Stalker once more when she notices that she out patrolling alone when out on where she catches SS doing nothing to save someone until they fight back shtick. And Taylor could be out for a number of reasons checking on a new target to feast on. Or you can have her witness Glory Girl being reckless when saving a victim from a mugger or villain cape and hurt the victim too much when saving said victim only for Panacea to come to fix the mess.
    Something like can convince Taylor that Heroes are part of the problem as well since they are only in it for the fame, popularity, and their dogmatic beliefs.
     
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  19. Jonn Wolfe

    Jonn Wolfe (Verified Sarcastic) (Not a Wolf)

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    Well now this is all sorts of interesting. Definitely watched.
     
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  20. Jonn Wolfe

    Jonn Wolfe (Verified Sarcastic) (Not a Wolf)

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    Wondering if Taylor cleared the laptop... What am I saying? This is Worm. Of course she didn't. :p

    Excellent chapters!
     
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  21. Fonteius

    Fonteius [Empty Title]

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    "We have managed to find five possible suspects based on Rune normal online presence. And our sources from Winslow managed to point us towards the most credible suspect. Here is the compiled report."

    "Very well, call for Hookwolf and Cricket, tell them we found the killer."

    "Sir, is that wise?, they tend to be a little 'harsh' on their missions."

    "That is precisely the point... this Barnes family does have ties to New Wave, this occasion calls for a reminder."
     
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