Control through Compassion - MCU/Lantern Corps

Director Fury sat across the table, glaring at Akita. Well, she thought he was glaring. It was hard to tell compared to his resting scowl face.

"I'll repeat the question. You have one of, if not the, most powerful weapon in the universe?"

"Yes sir."

Fury's eye narrowed. "And you have had it for approximately three days?"

"Yes sir."

She saw his jaw clench and had anyone asked, she would tell them she heard his teeth grinding. "And the first thing you did with it was...?"

She swallowed. "Um, before or after I retook control?"

The directors's body froze for a moment before returning to his previous posture. "We will discuss that later. After you...retook control."

"Ha, ha, um, fishing and cleaning out the local ecosystem of invasive species?"

He did nothing for what seemed like an eternity before placing his finger where his ear way. "Widow, did you get that?"

"Yes Director. Do you want me to let everyone know?"

"Please."

"I'll be back in a moment."

Fury placed his hand back on the table and stared. Akita stared back. Fury stared some more. Akita resisted the urge to squirm. It sort of worked.

Then she heard it, groaning sounds of disappointment along with one happy cheer. "What-what was-?"

"That, was sound of S.H.I.E.L.D. personal and the Avengers losing a bet. Along with Thor winning one."

Akita blinked, now very confused. "A bet? Over what I did with my powers first?"

"Correct. And you just caused us to give Thor $10. Each. All the mugs he buys and breaks will be coming out of your salary."

"Salary? I don't work for-" she started

"-You do now" he finished.

"...Dang it"

 

"Maybe it's very fashionable on her planet?"

"Or it might be an alien aesthetic thing. Maybe her species just see things differently."

"Hell, they may not have genitalia that look anything like ours, so the penis-head thing just doesn't apply."


....

"Guys, I'm not an alien. Human woman right here."

"O- oh! Right. Err, don't mind us, just talking crap to pass time, y'know. Looks fine."

"Really? You're not just saying that?"

"Yeah, looks really cute on you. Your outfit's fine."

"Oh, thanks. Bye!"

....


"I think she deserved our honesty. We probably should have told her how bad it looks."

"Your girlfriend asks what you think, you actually tell her she looks bad?"

"Well, no."

"Does your girlfriend have Awesome Cosmic Power?"

"... no."

"Exactly."