1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. The testbed for the QQ XF2 transition is now publicly available. Please see more information here.
    Dismiss Notice

Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

Discussion in 'Questing' started by FurikoMaru, Mar 3, 2013.

  1. FurikoMaru

    FurikoMaru Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    3,507
    What up, bitches? The Tvtropes exile is over. 8)

    Archive and original stats are here.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  2. FurikoMaru

    FurikoMaru Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    3,507
    You are this dude.

    [img width=600 height=450]http://www.animewallpapershow.com/wallpaper/lupin-iii-16.jpg[/img]
    (Pictured: An average weekend for you)
    (Source: animewallpapershow.com.)

    Currently, you're a little girl.

    [img width=600 height=450]http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130313134805/naruto/es/images/7/77/Ino_burlandose.jpg[/img]
    (Pictured: Henge no Ino/Ino the Shapeshifter)
    (Source: images2.wikia.nocookie.net)

    =

    Former Identity: Arsène Lupin III

    Current Identity: Yamanaka Ino

    Age: 13

    Class: Newly-Minted Genin

    Alignment: Chaotic Child

    Birthday: September 23rd

    Intelligence: 5/5
    Strength: 0.7/5
    Speed: 4.9/5
    Stamina: 3.5/5
    Taijutsu: 1.3/5
    Ninjutsu: 1.9/5
    Genjutsu: 4.9/5
    Handseals: 4.6/5
    Fuuinjutsu: 2.5/5
    Tessenjutsu: 2.3/5

    Perks and Traits:

    Contortionist – You’re double jointed everywhere you have joints. You can fold in ways too gross to be politely discussed. Any space where you could conceivably fit something your size, you can squeeze into.

    Exit Stage Left – You are an escape and evasion savant. You can get past pretty much any commercially-available seal no problem, when you really get the lead out even your jounin-sensei can't keep up, and genin are your hapless playthings.
    -> Aloha, Moolah! - You have recently come into the possession of a lockpick kit. No longer must you fiddle with your hairpins to get conventional locks open!

    Sensor – You’ve inherited the family sensing abilities. Your range is limited to about fifty feet away from you on all sides, barring chakra sources you’d have to be blind to miss, like the Kyuubi. You are capable of analysing the chakra levels and intentions re: yourself of everyone within your range. You have reached the point at which extending your range further will be dangerous, as sensitive as your personal reception is (see below). It can still be done, but not without causing potentially crippling damage.
    -> The Grand Tenketsu Railway - You've discovered that chakra flows in fundamental patterns throughout living beings, passing specific points of significance along the way. What has been heard cannot be unheard.

    Sense of Aesthetics – Beauty matters to you far more than to most people, giving you a keen eye for detail. Unfortunately, if something or someone particularly beautiful comes along, you can be easily distracted.

    Pervert! – Grants a .5 bonus to one's speciality upon achieving chuunin status. (Note: Clearly A Joke Perk. Don't expect me to write any sex scenes or even particularly detailed musings. Think Kakashi-level perversion; no ecchi-style prolonged groping, even if for some reason all of you vote for it.)

    You Cannot Comprehend My (Mind’s) True Form – Your mind is a complete mystery to everyone but you. Your father has given up on ever trying to do traditional Yamanaka parent-child psychic bonding rituals because every thought you have is coated in a thick fog of loud noises, bright lights and bizarre imagery that make your head unnavigable. You essentially have naturally-occurring S-rank thought-concealment. However, you cannot simply no-sell genjutsu; you’ll have to kai just like everyone else.
    -> Unique Perspective (Master) - Your mind, coming as it does from another world and another life, is always going to come at the rules of the universe sideways.

    Ambidextrous

    Phenomenal Memory

    Fuck Da Police! - Aside from your parents and perhaps your jounin-sensei, you are suspicious of obstructive authority figures on general principle. If they fuck with you, you will fuck back if you can.

    Ranton - You have a dual affinity of Water and Wind, which together form Storm Release. Only you are currently aware that your second affinity is Wind, as a benefit of your perk Unique Perspective. Unless subjected to professional scrutiny, your combination appears to be Water and Lightning.

    Itachi's Geas - You are currently under a Sharingan-fueled curse to die at the hands of your friend Sasuke.

    Allies - Those tagged with an interrogation mark are pending confirmation.

    Team 5

    -> Sarutobi Asuma, Second-Most-Laid-Back Jounin-sensei in Konoha. Relationship: Shogi partners, master-and-pupil in the art of being a cool dude.

    ->Inuzuka Kiba, Feral Child at Large, Secondborn of the Head of the Inuzuka Clan. Relationship: He's that guy you shoot the shit with. You give each other a hard time, but it's just jokes, man.

    --> Akamaru, A Puppy. Relationship: Belly-rubbin'! Nice scratches!

    -> Kuwabara Ami, Street Rat With Ambition. Relationship: Best female friend.

    Nara Shikamaru, Future Head of the Nara Clan. Relationship: Long-suffering childhood friend.

    Akimichi Chouji, Future Head of the Akimichi Clan. Relationship: Other long-suffering childhood friend. Purveyor of fine snacks.

    'Angel' Nara Yoshino, wife of current Clan Head, mother of Heir. Relationship: First crush. You occasionally help her keep Shikamaru in line.

    Juuyondaime Tora (Tora-no-Miun), Head of the Tora Clan of Exiled Cats and Unwilling Pet of Nara Kashima, the Fire Daimyo's Wife. Relationship: Admin of your Summoning Contract

    The Shiroi Brothers
    -> Menka, sensor, swordscat in your service. Has a truly bizarre talent for dumpster diving. Relationship: Brother figure. Has promised to help you become the greatest ninja in the world. Works to this end as your primary sparring partner. Still lives with you.
    -> Shirotama, talented fishercat and hunter. Relationship: Brother figure. No longer living with you.
    Shichidaime Tsumujikaze (Tsumujikaze-no-Hhirr), Head of the Tsumujikaze Family. Relationship: Tsumuji-san considers you a fine little lady. This has much to do with the fact that your Nyango conjugations are a hell of a lot more feminine than your Gyogo conjugations and pronouns. If he knew more about the nature of Gyogo grammar he'd be floored at the contrast. Recently tutored your teammate Ami in the finer points of Haunting Tigress-style kenjutsu in preparation for the chuunin exams.

    Uchiha Sasuke, Troubled But Cute, Head and Sole Surviving Member (*snicker*) of the Uchiha Clan. Relationship: Bros. The two of you have An Understanding re: a certain mind-raping weasel-dicked yandere nii-san.

    Hyuuga Hinata, Confirmed Wallflower, Hyuuga Heiress. Relationship: Friendly, mutually-supportive.

    Rock Lee, Doting Sempai.

    Jiraiya of the Sannin, Legendary Creature: Perverted Sage. Relationship: You have piqued each other's interest, but to what extent and in what manner, only time will tell.

    Sabaku no Gaara, Suna's Walking Natural Disaster(?) Relationship: He thinks you're funny.

    Zenigata Tenten, Relationship: Eternal Rival.

    Contacts

    Jounouchi Katsuya, student of the Edajima School of Turtle Style Taijutsu

    Skills

    General Knowledge (Intermediate) - You know a lot of stuff. Science, geography, tactics, and especially history. You can also do calligraphy, sew a bit, play an excellent game of shogi, and look after the shop for your mom when she's not around.

    Knowledge of Sealing - You are the first person to have had practical experience with seal work before studying the theoretical side of the discipline since the Sandaime.
    -> Seal Disruption (Basic) - You can alter or remove simple seals on manufactured goods.
    -> Shikoku Fuuin (C-Rank) - You can inscribe seals and other writing onto objects with your finger.
    -> Single-Use Summon (B-rank) - You can make a small sealing array to summon one low-level ninja by keying the seal to their chakra signature specifically.
    -> Custom Chakra-Storage Scroll (B-Rank) - You can make a set of seals to store portions of your chakra for later use in combat. These can be released one by one for a succession of low-level techniques, or all at once to fuel something larger than you'd normally be capable of. Either way, such scrolls can only be opened by use of your Chakra Conduit Technique, making them ideal for avoiding misuse in your enemies' hands.

    Knowledge of Poisons (Basic) - You know the theory behind mixing up several dangerous elixirs and nonlethal irritants, none of which your mother will let you experiment with. She has, however, permitted you to observe her filling shinobi orders for speciality poisons.

    Knowledge of Treasure (Intermediate) - You know all the big-name lost cities of gold, Uzushio pirate hoards, superpowered weaponry, and museums, and have an exceptional understanding of their contents and significance.

    Knowledge of Parkour (Master) - You are as capable at free-running as a jounin-to-elite-jounin. Your lack of upper-body strength hinders you, but your excellent chakra control can make up the deficit.

    Knowledge of Gunsmithing (Intermediate) - You know how a pistol goes together and what the various bits are made of, and have commissioned a few improvements to hunting rifles from the local blacksmiths. That's about it at the moment, since you're the only person in Konoha who's ever seen a pistol. Most of your results end up handed off to Kiba, who's taken up sharpshooting as a hobby.

    Spiritual Understanding (Basic): Wind - The Crossroads

    Spiritual Understanding (Basic): Water - The Chariot

    Spiritual Understanding (Basic): Earth - The Map

    Spiritual Understanding (Basic): Fire - The Lamp

    Spiritual Understanding (Basic): Lightning - The Tracks

    The Throne At The Heart Of The Mountain (Intermediate) - At this level you are capable of building and maintaining several memory palaces connected to one another by a dream complex, and fielding a semi-skilled army of constructs.
    -> Constructs (Intermediate) - At this level, you are capable of vivifying, within your mindscape, a faithful approximation of your memories of a person, with their abilities intact.
    --> The Legacy Lives Lavishly In Limbo - He came to life. Good for him!
    --> All Sasuke, All Uchiha Chorus Line - One Rookie-of-the-Year-flavoured beatdown coming right up.
    -> The Promise - Your first palace, reinforcing your memory of the oath you swore to remove the compulsion from your mind and seek revenge.
    -> Illusory Art Gallery - Your hoard of genjutsu lore. Currently of a respectable size, but nothing special, aside from a fascinating description of what genjutsu looks like with a Byakugan. Modelled after your bedroom. With purple stained-glass windows, because you want them.
    -> The Glass Masque - A ballroom full of mannequins that wear various masks you've made and hold instructions on how to recreate them.
    -> A simple memorization palace for the names and methods of various stitches and other sewing terminology.

    Careful, Your Face Might Freeze That Way (Master) - You can make masks that look perfectly realistic in direct sunlight, and you can vary their skintone or other properties with the greatest of ease. These masks can be pulled on at a moment's notice, and enhancing the multiple templates you carry with you at all times takes only slightly longer.

    Cunning Linguist - You have a gift for languages, it appears.
    -> Nyango: The Tongue of Cats - Knowing this language is a vital secondary requirement to becoming a signatory of the Tora Clan Summoning Contract, which you now hold. You currently speak it as well as an adult cat of high intelligence. You have finally hammered out your knowledge of grammar, and you've overcome the difficulties presented by your lack of whiskers and such by employing your hands and tessen as correlative media (along with learning to wiggle your ears). Your knowledge of cat social structure and interactions is on par with a courtier of the highest rank, though you usually prefer to speak less formally among friends.

    Chakra Control - Yours is pretty damn amazing. Shame about those fair-to-middling reserves.

    Musicianship: Koto, Akegami School (Journeyman) - You can pass for a middling professional. You seem to have stalled on that point, but on the whole Mom seems cool with the fact that you aren't going to follow in her footsteps as a musician. She does miss the days when the two of you could practice together for hours at a time, though.

    Obscure Weapons Skill: Tessenjutsu (Intermediate) - You know the standard defensive forms any gently-bred lady knows and have developed a few personally-designed offensive moves. You lack a proper instructor, but you have quite a bit of practice, as Menka makes for a very obliging 'assailant'. You've come into possession of a few scrolls on Uchiha-style Tessenjutsu, a gift from Sasuke, and have spent the past few years slowly assimilating some of the moves it imparts into your own style.

    Talking the Talk (Intermediate) - You can easily mimic the voices and speaking-patterns of other girls, women, and boys you've heard speak before. Occasionally you can even manage adult men, but you won't master your lower register until you're older.

    All Right, Mr Miyazaki, I'm Ready For My Closeup (Intermediate) - You have a gift for stagecraft. With encouragement and determination, you could rule the stage and be enshrined in the hearts of millions! Or you could just get really good at infiltration, whatever; I'm not the boss of you.

    Champloo-ryu (Basic) - Need a cool new way to hit someone? Use that fancy punch someone threw at you last week. Taijutsu moves you have stolen/modified for personal use include those from the following styles/schools (styles in which you could be said to be properly proficient are marked with asterisks):
    -> Konoha Ninja Academy Style
    -> Uchiha Family Style
    -> Jyuuken
    -> Art of the Harmonious Spirit - aka Your Things Are My Things

    Jutsu

    Chakra Conduit Technique - You can temporarily make your hand a bridge to connect two points in a chakra circuit that have been cut off from one another, by withdrawing most of your own chakra back into your arm, leaving only what's necessary to direct the flow of the foreign energy. Whatever else you can do with this technique will rely on how you experiment with it.

    Shunshin/Body Flicker (D-rank) - perfected
    Kawarimi (D-rank) - perfected
    Henge (E-rank) - perfected
    Bunshin (D-rank) - perfected
    Utsusemi/Empty Cicada/Throw Voice (D-rank) - perfected
    Shisetsu Jousuichi/Private Reservoir/Water Purification (C-rank) - perfected
    Shintenshin/Mind Body Switch (C-rank) - still working on it
    Kuchiyose no Jutsu/Summoning [Tora Clan of Housecats] (C-rank) - functional, but takes a big chakra investment (by your standards) to get anyone worthwhile

    Magen: Narakumi/Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing (D-rank) - perfected
    -> Magen: Rakuenmi/Demonic Illusion: Paradise Viewing (D-rank) - perfected
    Magen: Kokoni Arazu/Demonic Illusion: False Surroundings (C-rank) - perfected
    -> Magen: Nijū Kokoni Arazu/Demonic Illusion: Double False Surroundings (C-rank) - perfected
    Kokuangyo no Jutsu/Bringer of Darkness (A-rank) - perfected

    Loot

    One (1) Konoha Military Police Force Captain's badge, originally belonging to Uchiha Hiroto

    Ten Ryo Live-Capture bounty on Tora.

    One (1) handcrafted wolf-shaped 18k white gold hairpin with .5 carat garnet. Made by legendary jeweller Guren. Approximate cash value: 2, 200 FCR.

    One (1) brooch; unbeknownst to you, an artefact from another world. Approximate cash value: 2 FCR generally, but the right buyer might be willing to part with quite a lot to get their hands on it.

    Two (2) .25 carat brilliant-cut emerald earrings set in 24k yellow gold. Handcrafted in Tanzaku Gai for a bride of the Ginboshi merchant family; worn at her wedding to Daimyo Eboshi of Gold Country's younger brother. Approximate cash value: 4,150 FCR, without the historical significance taken into account.

    One (1) diamond choker, comprised of hundreds of tiny diamonds clustered around the Mouth of Benten, a twenty carat pure white beauty. Handcrafted in Inada-kyo, hand-stolen from Akadojou Castle to woo the legendary courtesan Okuni into marriage with a Tanzaku Gai yakuza boss. Approximate cash value: 130, 000, 000 FCR.

    One (1) traditional white jade engagement pendant, unstrung, carved in the shape of a striding, snarling tiger. Handcrafted in Tanzaku Gai in Kouun 17 for a minor Boss' daughter. Approximate cash value: 2, 000 FCR.

    One (1) loupe, Wind Country glass and copper, suitable for assessing goods. Approximate cash value: 40 FCR

    One (1) topaz and white gold cuff bracelet, tacky. Approximate cash value: 800 FCR
     
    EVA-Saiyajin likes this.
  3. FurikoMaru

    FurikoMaru Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    3,507
    One day there will be stuff here. Probably.
     
    Tranquil Zebra likes this.
  4. Vindictus

    Vindictus Experienced.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    3,845
    Likes Received:
    4,807
    I suppose you'll be linking to here from TvTropes then?

    Also,

    [X] Awww, the poor girl's wound tight as a drum. The Hyuuga are probably one of those really strict clans mom's always worried about offending. "Ne, Hinata-chan, there's no need to be so formal. We're all kids here; just let it ride."
     
  5. Malcolmo

    Malcolmo Insert custom title here

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    10,634
    Likes Received:
    27,610
    Voting again:

    [X] Awww, the poor girl's wound tight as a drum. The Hyuuga are probably one of those really strict clans mom's always worried about offending. "Ne, Hinata-chan, there's no need to be so formal. We're all kids here; just let it ride."
     
  6. Jiven

    Jiven Most Excellent Lurker

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    4,642
    Likes Received:
    4,360
    [X] There's only one cure for acute anxiety: gentle teasing! "Quite well, that I am. This one has the honour of being Ino, of the Yamanaka Clan, that she does. A very good morning to you, Hinata-dono." ;)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  7. FurikoMaru

    FurikoMaru Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    3,507
    Have you been following it without posting this whole time? XD I thought you were just being polite when you said you were gonna do that.
     
  8. Guile

    Guile Clothes That Kill Virgins

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    13,686
    Likes Received:
    65,934
    Tempting, but Hinata's pitiful self-esteem would probably take it the wrong way.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  9. Cyanios

    Cyanios I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    714
    Likes Received:
    2,288
    [X] Awww, the poor girl's wound tight as a drum. The Hyuuga are probably one of those really strict clans mom's always worried about offending. "Ne, Hinata-chan, there's no need to be so formal. We're all kids here; just let it ride."
     
  10. Vindictus

    Vindictus Experienced.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    3,845
    Likes Received:
    4,807
    I really need to set up a new profile in tropeland... But I never get around too it.
     
  11. Jiven

    Jiven Most Excellent Lurker

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    4,642
    Likes Received:
    4,360
    I know, but it's too tempting.
     
  12. Guile

    Guile Clothes That Kill Virgins

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    13,686
    Likes Received:
    65,934
    So, any thoughts on how to make use of Chakra Conduit after all this time? You'd think being able to link up with other chakra would have SOME use. Bargain-bin byakugan, maybe? Or learn to do it with our fan - or chakra strings - rather than our arm?

    Edit: Or reading back over the post that gave it to us, it sure seems like we could learn to use chakra as computer programming. Or learn to eat chakra, although it kinda hurts.
     
  13. MrGazzer

    MrGazzer Wabbit

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    1,061
    Likes Received:
    1,265
    Oy vey, all this moving. But I'm okay with it, this is some good stuff.
     
  14. Larekko12

    Larekko12 Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    17,527
    Likes Received:
    51,567
    [X] Awww, the poor girl's wound tight as a drum. The Hyuuga are probably one of those really strict clans mom's always worried about offending. "Ne, Hinata-chan, there's no need to be so formal. We're all kids here; just let it ride."
     
  15. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    2,269
    Likes Received:
    7,684
    [X] There's only one cure for acute anxiety: gentle teasing! "Quite well, that I am. This one has the honour of being Ino, of the Yamanaka Clan, that she does. A very good morning to you, Hinata-dono."
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  16. Darik29

    Darik29 Verified Delicious

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2013
    Messages:
    6,700
    Likes Received:
    39,890
    [X] Awww, the poor girl's wound tight as a drum. The Hyuuga are probably one of those really strict clans mom's always worried about offending. "Ne, Hinata-chan, there's no need to be so formal. We're all kids here; just let it ride."
     
  17. Selias

    Selias Well worn.

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2013
    Messages:
    6,184
    Likes Received:
    17,536
    [X] Awww, the poor girl's wound tight as a drum. The Hyuuga are probably one of those really strict clans mom's always worried about offending. "Ne, Hinata-chan, there's no need to be so formal. We're all kids here; just let it ride."
     
  18. nightblade

    nightblade Gone for Good

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    2,523
    Likes Received:
    708
    [X] Awww, the poor girl's wound tight as a drum. The Hyuuga are probably one of those really strict clans mom's always worried about offending. "Ne, Hinata-chan, there's no need to be so formal. We're all kids here; just let it ride."
     
  19. FurikoMaru

    FurikoMaru Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    3,507
    [X] "Ne, Hinata-chan, there's no need to be so formal. We're all kids here; just let it ride."

    "... okay," she says to her desk. "... Ino-chan," she adds quietly, after a moment.

    A small victory over the forces of shyness, but you'll take it. You ask her if she has any brothers or sisters in the Academy; she tells you about her older cousin and mentions her baby sister. You feel a little twinge of envy - must be nice having lots of relatives and being all together in a compound. You have cousins, too, but they're all adults. You're barely aware of their existence.

    You make small talk for another few minutes until the teacher enters and class begins.

    Twenty minutes later, you have come to a startling conclusion.

    School is awful.

    You wouldn't have thought it was physically possible, but this place both sucks and blows.

    At first, you blame the teacher. What the hell is Daikoku-sensei's problem? You're supposed to be learning new things, not going over old stuff! Why are all the books and handouts written in kana? Why was he so damn impressed that you know the kanji for your own damn name? Why is the geography lesson on Fire Country? We live in Fire Country!

    But then you take a look around, and realize how much trouble everyone else not named Shikamaru is having.

    Well, Shika and that pink-haired girl. But even she's taking lots of notes and asking lots of questions.

    Hinata, for her part, seems to be doing all right as far as understanding the things discussed goes, but she's a very slow, methodical writer with very fine penmanship, which means by the time she's completed the mini-quiz Daikoku-sensei handed out everyone else has already handed theirs in. She blushes profusely when she realizes what everyone is giggling about; apparently when she starts writing she focuses so much she forgets what's happening around her. Daikoku-sensei doesn't mind, and compliments her on her lovely handwriting.

    When lunch comes you practically stampede for the door. Food! Intelligent conversation! A break from this agony! Freedom!

    You rejoin Shikamaru and Chouji under an oak tree. Chouji brought lemon-snap cookies to share, so the three of you while away recess munching and cloud-watching.

    "Maybe the civilian classes are less boring," you wonder aloud. "Maybe the shinobi ones aren't challenging on the bookworm side of things 'cause we're expected to fight for a living, not think."

    "School is always going to be boring for you," Shika says with a sigh. "You're smarter than everyone else."

    "Not you," you object. "And not your dad, or the Hokage, or my dad-"

    "I meant other kids," he interrupts, rolling his eyes.

    "Kids don't count," you scoff.

    "Thank you for proving my point," he replies, stretching.

    Thankfully, the afternoon classes are much meatier.

    Sagara-sensei leads you all back outside the instant attendance is taken and makes everyone stretch. Then he starts going through a few taijutsu forms with a teacher's assistant, showing you what even a few simple moves can do in to enhance one's ass-kicking. At the end of the demonstration, he has his assistant slowly run through kata while everyone copies him. Sagara-sensei himself, meanwhile, wanders from student to student in the crowd, critiquing people's form and in some cases adjusting them by hand.

    You come under such manhandling more than once, but the guy who's got it worst is Shika. Grumpy about being in a class he can't sleep through, he appears to have undertaken a campaign of passive resistance, in the hope that it will eventually prove such an inconvenience to teach him taijutsu that the school'll let him drop the course.

    Sagara-sensei... doesn't seem particularly inconvenienced. He just turns Shikamaru into his own personal mannequin, folding his legs and arms into whatever position they need to be at a given time.

    Shika's brow furrows.

    Sagara-sensei grins nastily at him.

    =

    Suzume-sensei's class is the easiest A in the history of the public school system. Its official name is Kunoichi Infiltration (as distinct from the optional general Infiltration class that both boys and girls can take in the later years of the Academy), and the only reason you can think of that it's mandatory is that Noble clan girls are never allowed to have any fun, ever, unless it's forced on them.

    You come to this conclusion when you realize that Hinata is genuinely ashamed to know who Kurogiku-hime is and that Honda Mami is the name of the actress who played her in the stage adaptation last year.

    "I shouldn't spend so much time on frivolous pursuits," she says. "Neji-niisan never reads comics; he's always meditating or training."

    "Well, good for him," you say, "but you're not Neji, you're you. And it's ridiculous to expect you to be Neji. Hinata should be Hinata." You turn to the blood-type compatibility test in the magazine you two were given. "I have most of the series, if you wanna borrow a volume or two sometime."

    "Ehh? I couldn't possibly-"

    You wave a hand. "If you're worried your parents'll be mad, I'll show you how to tape a secret pocket into your bookbag so you can hide 'em."

    "That won't work on father, he has the Byakugan," she protests.

    ... that is the single most intriguing objection to lying to one's parents you've ever heard.

    Chouji and most story protagonists you know of would say that lying to your parents is just inherently wrong, because they love you and you should trust them. Shikamaru would say there are reasons to lie to one's mom and dad, but on the whole life is easier when you don't.

    Hinata's main problem with lying to her old man seems to be that she thinks it can't be done.

    And that just makes you wonder what she would think if you proved it could.

    =

    The next few weeks of classes follow a predictable pattern; the scholarly courses are lame, to the point that you actually write to the principal in your most polite hand to request that you be skipped ahead a year in them, and then the afternoon is where your real learning happens.

    After about a month, Sagara-sensei seems satisfied that even the weakest members of the class are now ready for individual spars.

    His first pick is Chouji vs Shikamaru, apparently hoping that the human statue will recall the lost art of self-locomotion in order to ensure that his best friend doesn't get a zero and ruin a thus far perfect taijutsu record.

    You could have told him it's a waste of time; Ino-Shika-Cho, motherfucker. You don't turn against each other for anything. If you'll do it for something small, what's to stop you doing it for something big?

    Sure enough, they immediately make the sign of reconciliation and sit right back down.

    If Sagara-sensei is disappointed that his scheme fell through, he doesn't show it, but goes right to the next pair of names.

    "Uchiha Sasuke vs Yamanaka Ino."

    Aw, crap.

    You're not an idiot. You may have little respect for the Uchiha clan as an entity, but you do know that in every encounter you've ever had with a Lollypop, you have never won once.

    Still. That's never stopped you from provoking their wrath before.

    You doff your haori and toss it over Shikamaru's head, then trot down to the sparring ring.

    The boy waiting for you there is an adorable little moppet with fluffy black hair. You sat next to him on the third day; polite boy, by Uchiha standards - very interested to hear you 'own' a cat. Apparently his dad doesn't approve of pets, so if he wants to play with them he has to go visit Neko-baa, whoever that is.

    Sasuke looks confident, and well he should; unless you're mistaken he's one of the best in the year in taijutsu.

    "Begin!" Sagara-sensei says.

    What do?

    [X] Go on the defensive. You may not be able to win this fight, but that doesn't mean you can't get through it with your dignity intact. Make a game out of seeing how long you can keep out of his grasp.

    [X] Aw, hell, what have you got to lose? This may be your one and only chance to punch a Lollypop in the face and actually land the hit.

    [X] Dream guys don't fail me now!
     
    Cattongue likes this.
  20. Vindictus

    Vindictus Experienced.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    3,845
    Likes Received:
    4,807
    [X] Aw, hell, what have you got to lose? This may be your one and only chance to punch a Lollypop in the face and actually land the hit.
     
  21. Guile

    Guile Clothes That Kill Virgins

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    13,686
    Likes Received:
    65,934
    [X] Go on the defensive. You may not be able to win this fight, but that doesn't mean you can't get through it with your dignity intact. Make a game out of seeing how long you can keep out of his grasp.
    Dodge. Dodge forever. We're a chakra-using contortionist with Lupin III in our head; we'll manage somehow.

    This has no relevance except that it was the first thing that came up on youtube when I was looking for a video of Lupin III fighting somebody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjdgflzVaZg
     
  22. Selias

    Selias Well worn.

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2013
    Messages:
    6,184
    Likes Received:
    17,536
    [X] Dream guys don't fail me now!
     
  23. Darik29

    Darik29 Verified Delicious

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2013
    Messages:
    6,700
    Likes Received:
    39,890
    [X] Aw, hell, what have you got to lose? This may be your one and only chance to punch a Lollypop in the face and actually land the hit.

    Because I want to get a shot in on him before he goes emo, If he goes emo, and possibly because we might actually Win this fight if we to on the offensive.
     
  24. FurikoMaru

    FurikoMaru Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    3,507
    ... *looks at stat sheet*

    *looks back at you*

    Okay.
     
    Dio likes this.
  25. Darik29

    Darik29 Verified Delicious

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2013
    Messages:
    6,700
    Likes Received:
    39,890
    Wait, we're still six years old, right? The Uchiha massacre hasn't happened yet, right?

    I thought Sasuke was basically a wimp until his clan got wiped, then started becoming stronger through revenge training.

    Or am I completely mistaken?
     
    Dio likes this.
  26. Guile

    Guile Clothes That Kill Virgins

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    13,686
    Likes Received:
    65,934
    He's still a 6 year old who could pull off a C-rank fire jutsu.
     
    Dio likes this.
  27. HighMongrel

    HighMongrel Making the rounds.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    1
    [X] Aw, hell, what have you got to lose? This may be your one and only chance to punch a Lollypop in the face and actually land the hit.

    In combat, the only thing we have going for us is our speed. Take advantage of that.
     
  28. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    2,269
    Likes Received:
    7,684
    [X] Aw, hell, what have you got to lose? This may be your one and only chance to punch a Lollypop in the face and actually land the hit.
     
  29. FurikoMaru

    FurikoMaru Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,490
    Likes Received:
    3,507
    Off topic, but... I basically just got here today. o_O How do I have thrice the upvotes all the rest of you do? As far as I know Larekko's the only one who respect-bombed me.
     
  30. Darik29

    Darik29 Verified Delicious

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2013
    Messages:
    6,700
    Likes Received:
    39,890
    I....have no idea how any of the interfaces on this site work. I only barely figured how to reply, and all that rot.

    Still, I find this quest to be hilariously awesome, and I'm sure others do to. So that's probably why your getting so much respect.

    By the by, how does one give respect? It's one of the things I haven't figured out yet.