Jao
(Verified Lemon Drop Addict)
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2022
- Messages
- 2,581
- Likes received
- 11,025
MrHeartless What the fuck is your Profile Picture.
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
Whoa major spoilers I just looked up the guy's name and learned about his history."You may refer to me as Lucius Zogratis or Astaroth, at this point there is no difference between us, but regardless, my goal remains the same." Lucius wore a sinister smile as he raised his arm and pointed his index finger at Touma.
"I will take over your body and make humanity reach its 'true' form with me as their sole ruler."
I'm still mad as hell that this story dont get that much engagement when its better than a lot of it's counterparts.
Anyways, I really enjoyed the chapter. Hope this whole demon situation dont fuck with his chance of securing that Campione bag. Also, PLEASE tell me he's gonna assurp a bad ass god like Odin or something and not some lame ass obscure god with little no power cos that'd be SUCH a shame.
Whoa major spoilers I just looked up the guy's name and learned about his history.
Kazuma is as based as anger and hatred are supreme.
I am sorry ;-; My writing skills aren't that good and I am still improving my English and such.
Why are you apologizing? I was merely upset that this wonderful, well-written story doesn't seem to have that many followers. Maybe it's the 'dxd au' tag? I mean, when most people are looking for a dxd fic, they wouldn't be looking for an au, but the actual dxd world or as close to one as possible and they definitely wouldn't be looking for "dxd au" in the tag cloud.
I think you shoulda definitely included the following tags to get yourself more readers:
"High School DxD"
"Highschool DxD"
"DxD"
"Self insert"
"Reincarnation "
"Gacha"
"Crossover"
That way, when people are looking for those specific tags, they'd easily find your story there.
Touma is fucked. GGWhoa major spoilers I just looked up the guy's name and learned about his history.
In the room, there were several people, who have high levels of mana compared to normal civilians, looking at Touma with widened eyes and were armed with magic swords and guns, ready for battle.
"Halt this instant, Mage!" One of them shouted. "What do you plan to do by using that grimoire in the middle of the city!?"
And this was the first meeting between Touma and the History Compilation Committee.
Sorry for late update, working 11h per day isn't easy for me ;-;
Touma landed on the ground and looked at the signs and the language the pedestrians were talking.
"I am really surprised, you know? I am known as the strongest witch in the heavens, but I have never seen anyone with so much magical power who isn't a Campione! Wait, maybe you actually are one and have a concealment authority?" Alice asked jokingly.
"No, I am not (yet). I am just a mage without any affiliation." Said Touma as he finished the last bite. "Besides, what does the strongest witch need my help for?"
'Wait, Alice is a princess?' Touma looked at her in surprise, but Alice stuck her tongue out. 'This little…'
I aint gonna lie, I forgor that I'd put that Alice was a princess before lol*speaking
Tōma's response should be a whole other paragraph.
It should be: "Wait. Alice is an actual princess?' Since Alice already referred to herself as one during their conversation.
TFTC. Can't wait for the next one!
You should be very careful when you break the 4th wall. Something might sound funny in your head or in authors notes. But doing it inside the story will more often then not break reader immersion. It can be harrying to read.Remember when the narrator said there were no bizarre occurrences? Yes, it was also a fucking lie.
(Naginatajutsu = Japanese martial arts of wielding Naginata, a polearm weapon.)
(E/D: I am thinking the cliche will happen and Touma will be the one to kill it while the others watch like idiots.)
You should keep all author notes till the end of the chapter. Unless it is absolutely necessary just write it all in the author notes at the end of the chapter. People can google what they don't know.(E/D: The entire Sona POV was written in 3rd person like the words Sona and herself were used. Today, I was reminded why I exist and for what reason, I continue to edit these FFs.)
how did he manage to exlain the change in the house or did he brainwash them? as that would be a dick move for someone who suposedly cared.Although Touma wanted to split it and give it to his parents, just remembering that they almost fainted when they saw the new house, he decided to hold it in for a while until given the opportunity.
it going to fast, would have been acceptable i it was him who brought the fact that she is a fallen, even in og it took issei fighting riser, kokabiel and spite because of the presence of her father for her to open herself to him, here rather than a traumatised girl she more like an attention starved girl who latches at the first person who show a little bit of care"Thanks for telling me, Himejima-senpai." Touma said with a smile.
"Y-You…don't feel disgusted at me?" Akeno asked, with her voice trembling slightly.
"Of course not, you aren't at fault for how you were born. Neither me nor everyone else will treat you differently just because you are the daughter of a fallen angel, so don't worry and don't hide yourself." Touma comforted her.
Akeno saw the genuine expression and couldn't hold herself anymore. She jumped forward and hugged Touma.
"Thank you…Thank you so much for being here with me…" Akeno muttered.
why is he explaining his power like a retard in a place where all the supernatural can hear him, with the magical batmen running around, he'll get his ass kicked in no time if he continue like this"My magic allows me to control the flow of time. Currently, time has stopped for all of your friends. In fact, they don't even have any clue what happened to them." Touma said and looked straight into Ravel's eyes.