Manolo820
Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2020
- Messages
- 3
Thanks for the chapter. This part feels very off, like the immediate attraction seems totally random considering the circumstances.
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Thanks for the chapter. This part feels very off, like the immediate attraction seems totally random considering the circumstances.
Thanks for the chapter. This part feels very off, like the immediate attraction seems totally ramdom considering the circumstances.
I have not. This and worm are the only two bits of super hero media I've really consumed outside of the live action marvel movies.![]()
Spoilered for size. If you've never seen the Justice League Cartoon, I highly reccomend it.
EDIT (sorry):
Pretty much yeah.
I have not. This and worm are the only two bits of super hero media I've really consumed outside of the live action marvel movies.
Ms. Martian was found on one of Saturn's moons in a more recent retcon.Kill the Xeno and their disgusting Culture. Then cleanse Mars, as far as i remember Martian Manhunter is the last Martian alive and those Xeno 'Imperium' are not allowed to survive, just because they used their brain and hide some of them in Mars caves, this time.
If he's gonna make a solar beam cannon will it be variable wavelengths so he can switch it to red sunlight and blue sunlight for when kryptonian nonsense pops up?
Another thing would be to reproduce the effects of different colors of kryptonite. One of them gives humans the powers of a kryptonian if I remember correctly.
we are so back!!
i got a little excited when i first read this, i thought a stand somehow made it into the story, cause read smoke and people getting younger lol
Short version of Nth metal? The ball of hurt on a stick HURTS, no exceptions.
Thanks for the chapter. This part feels very off, like the immediate attraction seems totally random considering the circumstances.
End result? Something like this happening quickly is reasonable. I would expect it to take time to turn into anything. One could also make it more even by noting when affection is directed at others, because not keeping such in mind can lead to unpleasantness. Both women have canon relationships in the league for example.
I have not. This and worm are the only two bits of super hero media I've really consumed outside of the live action marvel movies.
Ms. Martian was found on one of Saturn's moons in a more recent retcon.
If he's gonna make a solar beam cannon will it be variable wavelengths so he can switch it to red sunlight and blue sunlight for when kryptonian nonsense pops up?
Actually good point. I was only thinking in buff potential. Portable red sun projector to mess with justice lords and similar. Good training tool to get Clark some dodge or avoidance instincts in a safe environment. I love expanding on uses for tinker shit.
Another thing would be to reproduce the effects of different colors of kryptonite. One of them gives humans the powers of a kryptonian if I remember correctly.
That.... Probably significantly harder, and if it gets out could lead to supes haters trying to raid the lab. I'm not saying it has NO merit, but it's far from the free money on the table of refining the sun gun. I could see some messing with it as a possible future option Fulcon could use.
Batman had some Nth Metal Knuckles he used to punch a ghost in The Brave And The Bold.Nth metal is also very compatible with soul shenanigans. Like reincarnation or being able to hold on to and manifest a body for it or empower it.
It can also be made to selectively ignore how things should be and messing with things on a conceptual level.
Edit:
Nth metal is arguably one of the least problematic of the super metals of DC. For all its potential for shenanigans it has been used to cause very little problems when compared to the others.
This could be a plot point later on. His stuff working better than it has any right to even if he's using the more common steel alloys and not the more fun and interesting kinds.With all of that done, here's my current tally for my Smithing skill.
The final ten ranks of any skill could, but not always, take years. That's why I cheated and waited until I hit the final ten ranks to start reading skill books and, in the modern day, watch instructional videos
Yup, Flash is gonna be feeling something alright.
Aside from all the supers with enhanced perception and those trained to notice everything even subconsciously.
Alls well and good till you need to shoot and heal at the same time or switch relatively quickly.holstering my pistol so I could unfold the Healer Laser. Armor wouldn't let me unfold the latter while the former was out of its holster. Safety precaution, you know? Couldn't afford a mix up
So his telekinetic force field doesn't protect him from energy attacks?Even through my armor's temperature regulation, I could feel the heat of the bolts as they whizzed past me en masse.
He does have a telekinetic force field right? Does it only grant super strength? Or is the boost not as substantial as I thought it was?I rocketed up to the second floor on the opposite side and tackled it with a shoulder charge, trying to force it in the direction of the weakened supports.
Health: 99%.
Many Safety Features are great to have till they eat at precious few seconds during critical moments.I deployed my laser. I said, I deployed my laser! Why won't it deploy?
With a frustrated growl, I holstered my blaster and actually deployed my laser,
Put enough force and they'd explode. Even if it doesn't kill them they still need to reform which takes time. Hopefully enough to buy some time to field a more permanent solution.But unfortunately, my maxed out melee skills were completely useless here because these things shrug off physical trauma like a fish shrugs off a squirt gun.
Would be nice if he could figure out who are shapeshifters or non humans by the subtle differences in behavior that comes from living with an alternate body plan for most of the time or unique experiences that it affords.Because I had maxed out Biology, I actually could tell if someone had cancer on sight.
You should try to maintain logical consistency in your story as you write.
Your MC was a prodigy in one martial art ("Judges said I was the greatest Tae Kwon Do practitioner they'd ever seen"), with supernaturally strong stamina ("Sprinting doesn't affect my stamina meter anymore"), high level enhanced fitness for his age, and supernaturally enhanced 'danger-sense' super powers...
He has all of that, and yet, somehow, he's so garbage at wrestling that even his own teammates make fun of him?
If he's gained supernatural powers, and is so skilled at one marital art that several experienced Martial Art judges agreed he was a prodigy...
It makes no sense for him to be so pathetically garbage at wrestling.
Real life is not a video game.
You are writing a story about real life - and in real life, supernatural training in one discipline, as well as supernatural powers like 'danger-sense' and enhanced fitness/stamina, is BOUND to have a crossover effect in other disciplines.
Your MC should be LEAGUES above any other 'new' wrestler, simply by dint of his peak/enhanced fitness, superpowers (danger-sense & enhanced stamina), and experience in one martial discipline.
Even if he wouldn't be anywhere close to an expert wrestler, he should still have a decent enough leg up to the point that he wouldn't be ridiculed for being so pathetic.
This could be a plot point later on. His stuff working better than it has any right to even if he's using the more common steel alloys and not the more fun and interesting kinds.
Interesting people looking to commission things for interesting purposes.
Aside from all the supers with enhanced perception and those trained to notice everything even subconsciously.
Alls well and good till you need to shoot and heal at the same time or switch relatively quickly.
So his telekinetic force field doesn't protect him from energy attacks?
He does have a telekinetic force field right? Does it only grant super strength? Or is the boost not as substantial as I thought it was?
Many Safety Features are great to have till they eat at precious few seconds during critical moments.
Why not just swap the hand that holds the gun instead of holstering it?
Put enough force and they'd explode. Even if it doesn't kill them they still need to reform which takes time. Hopefully enough to buy some time to field a more permanent solution.
Would be nice if he could figure out who are shapeshifters or non humans by the subtle differences in behavior that comes from living with an alternate body plan for most of the time or unique experiences that it affords.
When I think of Super Strength I tend to expect things like misting people you punch without restraint. I also tend to forget that powers come in a spectrum with potentially multiple axis.What do you mean? Without it he'd go splat against the structure without making a dent.
He has out of context powers, he could have some leeway. It could have been tied to multiple skill checks to show how out there and difficult it was to do so.After this invasion, it's never going to come up again. With the Alien's leeching off of psychic energy, it's a pretty-much flawless impersonation; they even mimic heartbeats and stuff. Even Superman couldn't tell the difference.
Energy field?
I think I'm missing something.
If force doesn't solve it you're clearly not using enough of it. Kek.Hm, I'm not sure. I know Hawkgirl smashes them with her mace but her mace is the Infinity+1 Mace, so it can do that. I specifically remember in the cartoon one instance where Wonder Woman charged through one and it reformed an instant later.
When I think of Super Strength I tend to expect things like misting people you punch without restraint. I also tend to forget that powers come in a spectrum with potentially multiple axis.
He has out of context powers, he could have some leeway. It could have been tied to multiple skill checks to show how out there and difficult it was to do so.
If force doesn't solve it you're clearly not using enough of it. Kek.
I'd like to see it reform when it's molecules are spread several kilometers apart and or atomized.
At a small enough scale there is little difference between thermal and kinetic damage. Kek.There's a difference between kinetic damage and thermal damage, though.
Sleep causes a disruption of consciousness as well. Hmm… a modified sleep or dream spell could be quite the killer.I think the Mace disrupts their nervous system and prevents them from maintaining the consciousness when it hits them, causing death.
If every action your main character takes requires a skill check and skill checks can completely override things like superpowers and physical stats, and thus your MC lacks physical agency, then yes, your story maintains logical consistency.
I understand that it's difficult to read criticism of something you've written and not take it personally. Please know that nothing I write here is intended to insult, and that my words are genuine.
I am a professional writer (my book series on Amazon is called 'Reborn: Apocalypse', and I've written more than 1 million words of other stories on sites like Royal Road and Webnovel) and only want to provide genuine feedback.
Why do assholes like that feel the need to announce their departure?
Why do assholes like that feel the need to announce their departure?
Merry Christmas!
And he deleted all his posts. I want to laugh, but it's honestly just sad.
And he deleted all his posts. I want to laugh, but it's honestly just sad.
High praise! I had actually looked up some videos on how to creatively write and I found a goldmine of a channel which I can link if you're interested. It changed my attitude about what fiction is and supposed to be which I think has come out in far more efficient prose.